


What It Wants

by HobbitFeels



Series: Wait... [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: A smutty smutty dream, Anal Sex, Balin is a badass coated in marshmallow fluff, Balin is too old for this shit, Basically if anyone is in a M/M sexual relationship in this fic there is some switching going on, Battle of Five Armies Fix-It, Beorn knows what's up, Bilbo gets easily dickmatized, Body Swap, Bottom Thorin, Comeplay, Depression, Double Anal Penetration, Durincest, Dwarf fucking, Dwarves are huge softies on the inside when it comes to matters of the heart, Elvish Rope, Elvish healing, Elvish surgery, Epistolary, Everybody Lives, Explicit Consent, Felching, Fingering, Fluff, Foursome - M/M/M/M, Gaslighting, Happy Sex, He's got Bear Senses, Hobbit fucking, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Jealous Fíli, Lemon, Light Bondage, Love, M/M, Magical Realism, Non-Omegaverse sex bonds, Oral Sex, Pierced Bilbo, Pierced Fíli, Pierced Kíli, Polyamory Negotiations, Prostitution Roleplay, Protective Dwalin, Rather Unambiguous Durincest to be exact, Rimming, Roleplay, Rough Sex, Sex Games, Sex Pollen, Sexual Roleplay, Smut, Switch Bilbo, Switch Bofur, Switch Fíli, Switch Kíli, Switch Thorin, Switching, Tattooed Bilbo, Tattooed Bofur, Thorin loves Bilbo so much, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Bilbo, Unexpected Journey movieverse and pre DoS bookverse, Universe Alteration, Wedding Planning, Weepy precious dwarf babies in love, Well they all do honestly, amateur bondage, but only in a dream - Freeform, drinking to numb feelings, gold sickness part 2, hithlain, just random experimentation with the restraining features of the sex bed, magical rehab and physical therapy, naughty kili, no S & M, so does bofur, soulbonding, the cool thing about hithlain is that one doesn't need a safeword, tw drinking, tw slut shaming, tw wedding planning, unrealistic refractory periods, wingman Bofur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2017-10-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 17:45:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 66
Words: 237,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3217961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitFeels/pseuds/HobbitFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuations, vignettes, letters, interludes, and more concerning what happened when Thorin (and the group going back to Erebor) left Bilbo, Fili, Kili, Bofur, and Ori in the Shire.</p><p>Or</p><p>"What They All Did On Their Winter Vacation."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Comfort and Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> The title for this installment comes from the famous phrase, "the heart wants what it wants," applied to Part 1 of the story by ManhattanMom in the comments on Chapter 16 of "Wait, You Are Supposed To Put It Where?"
> 
> This story is dedicated to everyone who is still here and reading, 162 chapters later. I love you all.

A fire blazed in the parlor of Bag End the afternoon Thorin's company left.

Kili held Bilbo astride him in the hobbit's favorite armchair. Coming down from another crying jag, Bilbo snuffled into a handkerchief and Kili's arms tightened around him.

Cradling the back of Bilbo's head, Kili rocked him gently. From somewhere, deep and clouded in his mind, Bilbo recalled a scene in Lake Town (from memories he did not remember he had) of Thorin doing the very same while Bilbo was ill. Nearly able to hear Thorin's soft whispers, Bilbo's tears renewed.

"It is okay," Kili whispered, softly weeping with him. "I understand."

Several moments passed with Bilbo trying to calm himself once more. Turning his head on Kili's shoulder, he looked into the warm, inviting fire through bleary eyes. He had been chilled to the bone outside without his cloak, staring into the air over the hill where he last saw Thorin, and only now felt finally heated through. Thinking about how he had a cozy fire when Thorin was still out there in this cold autumn air, would still be out in it for many days between here and Erebor, Bilbo could not stave off a fresh round of weeping. Why hadn't he said something sooner? Thorin could be there _right this minute_ , ruffling Kili's hair, discussing politics with Fili, kissing Bilbo...even bickering with Bofur would have been welcome. Bilbo had not realized how much he wanted Thorin to stay--truly stay--until he was faced with watching him go.

Kili rubbed Bilbo's back, shedding a few more tears along with his distraught love. This reaction was not surprising to him. Kili knew this would be a difficult afternoon all around, and for Bilbo in particular. He guessed (rightly) that in many ways, it was more trying for Bilbo to let Thorin go with a promise of love than the times he let him go as a lover estranged. As Kili expected, Bilbo eventually grew heavier in his arms, exhaustion overtaking the sadness. Kili was impressed Bilbo had lasted this long, truthfully.

"Here, why don't you have yourself a bit of a rest?" Kili said, adjusting Bilbo to continue holding him as he stood.

Bilbo did not argue when Kili carried him to bed, nor did he fuss when he was tucked under a cover he didn't realize had been pulled open for him.

"Don't go," Bilbo murmured sleepily.

Kili climbed up next to him, staying above the covers. Putting an arm over him, Kili kissed the back of his neck.

"I'll stay until you fall asleep. You could use an uninterrupted bit of a nap after the morning you've had," Kili said.  
"Thank you, Kee."

Bilbo's breathing grew deeper, though his stuffed head made it sound anything but peaceful. Kili did not have the heart to giggle at the very un-Bilbo like snores, knowing the reason behind them to be far from merry. When he was sure Bilbo was well and truly out, Kili eased out of bed and let Bilbo sleep.

 

 

*****

To Thorin's surprise, Dís's exception with Thorin's goodbyes had nothing to do with the kiss he gave Kili and everything to do with the one he gave Bilbo.

"Right in front of Kili! Our friends! Our citizens! To say nothing of the hobbits! Fili told me they are awful gossips--just think what have you done to poor Kili! All that talk! And Bilbo, letting you, letting you...well, _letting you_ , and not having the decency to so much as try to stop you!"

Thorin listened as Dís ranted on for at least a half a league, noting smug looks from Dwalin whenever he caught his eye--looks that said, "I told you to leave it well enough alone." By the time Dís repeated her primary objections for the third time, Thorin figured she had gotten most of it out of her system and interrupted her.

"Can we stop, now? While I still have some skin upon my brow?" he asked.  
"Oh, you think it is funny?" she countered. "Making light while you and that hobbit break Kili's heart and ruin his reputation in his new home?"  
Thorin rolled his eyes. "Kili's reputation is going to be fine. You spent several days there, you know hobbits can be a little more, ah, _liberal_ than dwarrows, not to mention Bilbo has a solid family name. If marrying a dwarf and marching elves through the Shire didn't shake his standing, neither did that kiss--and Kili's heart is hardly broken."  
"How can you say that when-"  
"-He knew, Dís. He gave his blessing."  
"No son of mine would agree to that!"  
Dwalin scoffed, immediately catching their attention. He artfully turned it into a coughing fit.  
"Sorry, I think I inhaled a bug or something," he muttered.  
Back to the subject, Thorin said, "Well, he did. There's history there and many, many discussions have been had in the past couple weeks--that's all you need know. I have heard your concerns and I appreciate your input, but this conversation ends here. You have gotten enough assurances to know I didn't leave Kili's marriage and reputation in tatters on the road outside Bag End, and I think it is enough."  
"But-"  
" _Enough_ , Dís," Thorin said, using his stern, brotherly tone.

She crossed her arms but pressed the argument no further.

 

 

*****

"How is he?" Bofur asked when Kili joined them in the smoking room.  
Replied Kili, "Worn out. He's resting right now."  
"How are you?" Fili asked.  
Shrugging, Kili said, "Better than he is. I'm sad, of course, sadder than even I thought I'd be, but Bee's heartbreak has made me cry more than Thorin's and Mam's departure."  
Fili shot him a look of concern.  
"Oh, not because I'm worried about anything between Bee and Thorin," Kili clarified. "No, I ache for Bee because--Durin's Beard!--I know how it felt to leave him for only a week. I hate seeing him so beside himself, but I understand it. How are _you_ doing?"  
"I wasn't as well-prepared to see everyone go as I thought I had made myself," Fili confessed. "I'll admit to crying a few tears of my own while you were consoling Bee. Still, I'm trying to have Beorn's attitude about the whole thing, keeping the happy memories and looking forward to the day when we all can make more."  
Bofur smiled kindly, slipping his arm around Fili. "Aye, and we will."  
"How are you faring today, Bo?" asked Kili.  
"About the same as Fee. The Shire has been so alive with our friends and relations." Bofur quirked a hint of a smile, thinking of Bifur. "It won't be the same without them, and that's a fact."  
"You are right about that," Kili agreed.

 

*****

Rorimac sat in front of his fire with Bifur's letter and read it for the umpteenth time since he had raced home with it. He guessed he could almost recite it from memory.

_Rorimac,_

_The time we spent together was brief but exhilarating for me. It has been a long time since I've felt such happiness, but it is tempered by doubt. My good judgement says we should end it before we get too involved, but I confess your impassioned pleas echo my own deeper urges. I still mean what I told you before, so I propose this: let us use this parting to get to know one another in a way too awkward in person with my affliction--through letters. Allow me to share who I am with you, and allow yourself to share who you are with me. If was more than body for us, we will discover it through our written words. If not, we'll have a lustful affair to fondly recall as we part in friendship._

_I will send you something at the first available opportunity. As luck has it, I am traveling with a few who will be anxious to send letters of their own back to the Shire, so I anticipate this could happen well before we reach Erebor._

_Best,  
Bifur _

 

 

*****

Daylight waned and shadows overtook the sun, bit by bit, across the rolling green hills. Bilbo had sleepily (and grumpily) declined to get out of bed for afternoon tea, and--although Kili thought Bilbo ought to drink something for all the tears he had wept and get a comforting bite into his belly--Kili let him be. Now, as he prepared dinner with Fili, Kili was not as inclined to let Bilbo's mood get in the way of his body's needs. Kili glanced at Bofur, who had been concerned about Bilbo all day, restlessness growing with each hour the hobbit slept.

"Bo, would you mind assisting me?" Kili asked.

 

 

*****

Bilbo stirred to a gentle hand stroking his hair.

"Bee," a voice called.  
"Bo? Is that you?"

Rolling over, Bilbo blinked to adjust his eyes. The light coming into the window was far sparser than it had been, though it was not quite full night. A fire ( _when did that get built?_ ) was lit and gently illuminating the room, along with the candle on the nightstand.

"Aye, it's your Bo," Bofur said with adoring gentleness. "We've been worried about you. Your nap make you feel any better?"  
Bilbo made a face. "I suspect all it did was replace my tongue with wool. I'm pretty sure it was the bawling that gave me this headache, though."  
"Well, Kee sent me in with strict instructions. You are to drink this entire tankard of water, and he also fixed us each a mug of tea to sip while you got yourself ready to think about the dinner they're making us," Bofur said. "One of them is bound to fix those two problems, at least."

Bilbo considered arguing, but he had no reason to be contrary other than his melancholy mood. Also, it was difficult to retain his fussy demeanor with Bofur gazing upon him with such love and concern in his face.

"Very well," Bilbo said, downing the water quickly.

Bilbo scooted to sit up against the headboard. Bofur handed him his tea, sitting on the bed in front of him with his own drink, one leg folded in front and the other dangling over the side. They sat quietly for a few moments, taking cautious drinks so as not to burn their mouths.

Sighing, Bilbo broke the silence. "I know today isn't even truly goodbye, it's just...I-I guess all this seems a bit extreme, doesn't it?" he said, glancing into his cup guiltily.  
"Not at all," Bofur replied. "I cried a lot myself when the three of you left me at Erebor. Like you, I knew it wasn't forever, and I had even turned down an invitation to come along, but I still wept like a babe all the rest of that day. There's no shame in missing the ones you love, Bee."  
Bilbo peered at him curiously. "Why didn't you come with us, then? You knew you'd be joining us eventually, after all. Why put it off?"  
"I've told you, I felt a responsibility to stay with Bombur and Bifur, at least until Bombur's family arrived."  
Bilbo looked into his cup again, carrying something on his tongue that he was not sure should be given voice.  
"But you still had Bombur and Bifur when you offered to flee Erebor with me," Bilbo said.  
Bofur hesitated before softly confirming, "Aye, I did."  
"And yet?"  
"I wanted you safe, and it seemed within my power to at least try to make it so."  
Bilbo eyes met Bofur's, searchingly, as though he suspected the explanation did not stop there. Bofur shifted under the weight of Bilbo's gaze.  
Rubbing the back of his neck, he asked, "Mahal, Bee, what do you want me to say?"  
Bilbo shrugged but his gaze did not waver. Bofur sighed resignedly.  
" _And_ I knew if ever I was to have a shot, no matter how small, that would have been it," he admitted quietly. "Though it was second to worry of your safety, it was the opportunity--the slightest chance you and I could have been an us--that blinded me most to the other responsibilities otherwise keeping me in Erebor."  
"Bo," Bilbo murmured, reaching out for Bofur's hand.  
"That night you called me to the gate, I thought...I thought--that is to say, it seemed as though you were asking me to take watch duty because you wanted, you wanted-" Bofur unexpectedly choked on the renewed emotion of that long-past disappointment.  
Bilbo spoke gently, "No, that wasn't what I wanted, but you helped me anyway. Oh, my sweet Bo! You didn't give me any idea, not the smallest inkling I had disheartened you. You even feigned happiness at Kili carrying our bead!"  
"It wasn't feigned, Bee. I knew he loved you, and my heart went out to him, understanding how it felt to be so in love without it being returned. My happiness for him in that moment was real--it wasn't as though you had been mine, after all." Bofur swallowed and canted his head thoughtfully. "Other things were meant to happen, it seems, and by some act of the Valar, Fee fell in love with me. I've had a feeling for him nearly as long as I've known I was in love with you, and he was no less a dream come true."

Bilbo spent a moment lost in memory, eventually breaking the quiet mood with a giggle. Bofur looked at him strangely in question.

"All those times I kept insisting you were a prince, and now you actually are one."  
Smiling bashfully, Bofur said, "Not quite yet."  
"The same as! You've even signed an official document with your title! Who knew I had been so prescient?"  
"Bee..."  
"It could not have happened to a more deserving, more lovely soul, Bo. Really."  
"Could you--I mean, would you mind keeping that bit about me offering to abscond with you to ourselves? Fee may have guessed it along the way, as he has guessed so many other things, but it seems possibly a hurtful thing to say to him outright."  
"I will keep it a secret."

Bilbo let his head fall against the headboard, taking another sip of tea. Bofur idly combed through the hair on one of Bilbo's feet with his free hand while Bilbo watched the light from the flames sway along the ceiling. The combination was hypnotic and calming.

"This is nice, you know?" Bilbo said.  
Bofur hummed in agreement.  
"Puts me in mind of something..." Bilbo trailed off, shaking his head.  
"What?"  
"Nothing, seems I have Lake Town on my mind today for some reason. I was thinking about it earlier, remembering when I was sick, something reminded me of Thorin and now, now, well, never mind. It sounds foolish."  
Bofur set his tea down and pulled Bilbo's calf into his lap. "Please, tell me."  
"I had this strange little thought--almost a memory--of you talking to me, quiet and low, rubbing my back while I was ill," Bilbo said, embarrassed. "It is silly, really, because I-"  
"-I did," Bofur murmured.  
"You did...truly?"  
"I'm surprised you remembered. You were sick, very feverish, and I came to check on you in Thorin's absence. You were dreaming awake, hallucinating and crying out. You couldn't take another tea again so soon, so I did the only thing I could. I sat with you, humming tunes and murmuring comfort, trying to soothe you as much as I was able until Thorin returned or until you could drink another medicine, whichever came first."  
"That's--oh," Bilbo said, voice filled with emotion.  
"What else could I do? I've always been happy to be there when you needed it, to watch over you and let you know you were safe and loved."

Bilbo set down his mug, crawling forward to give Bofur a hug. Bofur's arms wrapped around him and neither of them made a move to let go for many moments.

"See? I knew you were a prince--even back then," Bilbo said, voice wet again with tears.  
Bofur choked a laugh.

Bofur's laugh infected Bilbo with giggles of his own. Parting, they both wiped at their eyes and grinned at each other.

Bofur stood and drained his tea. Holding out his hand he said, "Want to go find out what smells so delicious?"  
Bilbo nodded decisively, shimmying out of bed and slipping his hand in Bofur's. "I'm famished!"  
"What do you expect when you skip lunch and tea?" Bofur teased.

 

 

*****

Thorin's traveling company stopped at sunset for camp. Thorin carefully unpacked the meal Bilbo prepared for him, which also contained a touch of Fili's bread and one of Kili's handpies Thorin taught him to fold. He hummed a laugh to himself that he must be turning hobbit, feeling so sentimental about his food. Still, he held small portions representing the ones he loved in his lap and something about that made each bite taste better, somehow.

After he ate, he pulled Bilbo's letter from its pocket.

_Dearest Thorin,_

_Fate is mocking me, my king. How many times did you write me sad, wistful letters, knowing in your heart we were meant to be--even as I was planning to ride away? Now I am in your boots, so to speak, and it is hateful._

_As of this writing, you have not yet left my roof and I can already feel the yearning growing in my core. You leave Bag End with my heart and my promise this time, just as I hold yours, and yet it does not assuage the sting._

_I've been covering you with kisses and murmuring apologies since we've reconciled, but I don't think I'll ever stop begging your forgiveness for putting you through all I have. I always felt pulled in two, drawn to you and Kili both, aching and confused because living without one of you seemed to break my heart. I didn't know, I couldn't see, I had no idea the answer to our heartache was in front of me all the while._

_Get back to Erebor safe and wait for me. I will come to you in the spring, my love. Until then, I shall be counting the weeks until I am able to hold you once again._

_I love you, my husband._

_Always,  
Bilbo, Prince Consort of Erebor_

Discreetly, Thorin wiped a tear, though he also grinned. He had no doubt Bilbo deliberately included his title, knowing it would give Thorin these splendid butterflies in his stomach.

 

 

*****

Much calmer after his nap and pleasant tea with Bofur, Bilbo felt embarrassment to see Fili and even his Kili again after the spectacle he had made of himself, weeping over the company departing. Still holding Bofur's hand on the way down the hall, he tried to tamp down the feelings and quell the flush that had been no doubt filling his cheeks.

To Bilbo's great relief, Fili neither teased nor fussed. He greeted Bilbo with a pleasant kiss and that was that. Kili kissed him, too, and asked if he slept well. No one seemed to pity, press, or pry. That, along with the lovely roast chicken the brothers made (and a little wine), helped Bilbo relax. Having skipped a few meals, he felt free to enjoy his dinner thoroughly.

 

 

*****

Though he was under no obligation, Thorin volunteered for the first watch. It enabled him to take advantage of some semblance of privacy to begin writing to Bilbo by firelight. Only a small handful of their company were still waking and upright, one of them being Bifur.

Sitting not far from Thorin, Bifur indicated Thorin's lapful of paraphernalia. " _Are you turning scribe like Ori_?" he teased.  
Replied Thorin, "No, I promised Bilbo I would write whenever I could so, when the time came, he would get a bundle of letters from me instead of just the one."  
Bifur looked thoughtful. " _Do you think you could spare some supplies_?"

 

 

*****

Closer to bed time, Bilbo grew nervous again. He thought perhaps Bofur and Fili might be awaiting a return to his bed, and he didn't know how to tell them he didn't have the heart for it tonight without offense. Bilbo greatly looked forward to their next session, but he was too heart-wrecked and raw this evening with Thorin's departure to share himself with anyone save Kili. With intent too easily misread, and this new union so fresh, Bilbo fretted over Bofur misunderstanding him entirely.

In the end, Bilbo needn't have worried. Fili stood, announcing that he was ready to go to bed, as it had been a long day. Fili bent to claim a kiss from Bilbo, enticing but far from filthy.

"Sleep well, Bee. We'll see you in the morning," Fili said.  
Bofur took his turn, also choosing to share a promising but noninvasive kiss. "'Night, Bee."

A fair share of the remaining tension in Bilbo's body left it with a whoosh as Kili received his own goodnight embraces. Bilbo looked fondly at the hall down which Fili and Bofur had disappeared.

"Isn't that something?" Bilbo breathed, almost to himself.  
"What?"  
"How they just... _knew_. I'd been worrying all night how to tell them what I wanted without them thinking I had changed my mind completely, and in the end I didn't have to."  
Kili hugged Bilbo to him. "That's the thing about truly knowing and caring about each other--sometimes words aren't needed."

 

 

*****

In light of Bilbo's relief from Fili and Bofur retiring to their own bed, Kili thought it might be too much to expect Bilbo to feel libidinous tonight. Even so, he washed up and refrained from privately finishing himself before he joined Bilbo in the bedroom. If it was up to Kili alone, he personally craved Bilbo's closeness after a morning of sad partings.

 

*****

Undressing for bed, Bilbo's eyes couldn't help but sweep over the loveliness of Kili's body in the candlelight. Kili gave him an affectionate smile when their eyes met and Bilbo's heart swelled. Here, he had gone on and on all day over Thorin and their friends leaving without offering comfort to Kili, plus how would he feel if Kili had spent the day squalling about someone leaving when Bilbo was still very much here and by his side? Yet here Kili was, doting, caring, _smiling_.

In bed, Kili gave Bilbo soft kisses goodnight, his cock growing harder between them but not pressing for more. He rolled over with his back to Bilbo's chest and scooted firmly against him, tugging Bilbo's arm around his waist. Exhaling a long breath, he settled in comfortably, waiting for slumber.

Bilbo could tell Kili wanted to go beyond kissing, but he had stopped himself, snuggling up against him and heading toward sleep instead. If he thought Kili truly was exhausted, or not interested in coupling tonight, Bilbo would have chased sleep himself, but he was sure Kili was denying his arousal for Bilbo's benefit alone. True, Bilbo did not want to share the bed with Bofur or Fili this night, but it wasn't because he was too overwrought to feel desire. Tonight he wanted--no, _needed_ \--his Kili, his Kee. Oh, and didn't Kili's body against his feel like exquisite sin? Even if Bilbo _had_ been too beside himself, he suspected he might have been able to put it aside for several moments of worship and rapture with this gorgeous creature in his arms.

Bilbo kissed Kili's back, his tongue darting out with each press of his lips, chaining soft, damp spots across the expanse of Kili's shoulders. He rubbed his prick against Kili's buttocks, relishing the sweet sigh the movement elicited. His hand smoothed across Kili's chest, pausing to tweak at his nipple ring before caressing down over his hip, gripping it, and pulling Kili into him harder. Kili whimpered.

"Let me, Kee. Please, say you'll let me," Bilbo whispered into his ear.

Kili turned his head as far as he could and Bilbo met him there, claiming his mouth hungrily. Surprised by Bilbo's passion and willingness, Kili yielded to his kisses, his touches, his flesh pressed against him. Something about Bilbo's mood and caresses made Kili feel new, explored as though this was the first time Bilbo proposed to make love to him. His heart fluttered with adoration even as his cock was hardened with lust--he would not deny Bilbo anything he wanted.

"I'll let you, beg you even," Kili replied.

Bilbo leaned over Kili's body, slicking his fingers at the nightstand before returning to his position behind him. Kili closed his eyes in bliss and awaited the sweet stretch to come. Still on his side, he clutched his pillow as he struggled through deep breaths and needy whines. Bilbo worked him open steadily, but with clear haste. Understanding Bilbo did not wish to tease sent a jolt up Kili's spine. It was always so delicious when Bilbo craved him too badly to linger.

Kili gasped Bilbo's name when he felt his cock slide inside him, still at his back, the two of them spooned together. A loving, protective arm held him close as an appealing mouth puffed out moans against his nape. Bilbo moved in him slowly with even, agonizing rhythm. Tingling, anxious warmth spread through Kili's arms and legs--Bilbo had been in a needy hurry but took him languidly, wanting him both body and soul. Though their pounding, frantic sessions had a delightful appeal, Kili adored times like these. He relaxed in Bilbo's arms, surrendering.

"That's it," Bilbo whispered encouragingly. "My beautiful Kee, give in to me."  
"Yours," Kili whispered back.  
"Mine."

Bilbo's hand slipped down, taking hold of Kili's cock and pumping in lazy tandem with the movement of his hips. Kili stuttered out a sound of surprised pleasure. With his lips next to Kili's ear, Bilbo murmured devotions.

"No matter who is in this bed, whose kisses we share, nor even whose spend we taste, everything, all of it, returns to this. Us. There's nothing, no one, like you for me," Bilbo said.

Kili floated in a pool of ecstasy, the emotions running through his heart and mind with Bilbo's words as intense as the sensations rippling through his body while it was being thoroughly pleasured. The past few days had seen them caught up in their play, and he had tried to be so mindful of Thorin's departure, he didn't realize how amazingly welcome this assurance would be, how much he needed a night alone with Bilbo in their marriage bed.

"As much as I love him, not even Thorin," Bilbo whispered.

The urge to both cry and come welled up within Kili, a tear breaking well ahead of the rest.

Before Bilbo had realized what had happened, he was on his back with Kili's arse sinking down around his erection. Kili pitched forward, seizing Bilbo's face with one free hand while he supported himself with the other. Watery eyes met Bilbo's gaze.

"There's no one like you for me, either," Kili said. "No matter how I play with Thorin, or what Fee and I might do, it is this, our union, the two of us together...my jewel, you are _everything_ to me."

Bilbo whispered his name, threading a hand in his hair and pulling him down into a passionate kiss.

When they broke free, Kili rested his forehead against Bilbo's and panted, "It is true."  
Bilbo, still rolling his hips into Kili, whispered back, "You've made it possible--all this pleasure, love, and obscenity--I would have stayed bottled up and confused without you to free me."  
"You've captured me and freed at the same time, because none of it means anything without you."  
"I belong to you, Kee. Regardless of anything or anyone, I am yours foremost."  
Kili sat up, his expression a mixture of adoration and impish lust. "Then I shall take you."

Having seized control of this encounter, Kili turned seductor. He rose and fell, riding Bilbo steadily and without mercy. Bilbo gasped and held on as Kili fucked him, breathtaking and wild. Stroking himself as he moved, Kili rode until he forced Bilbo's release. Bilbo gripped him hard and came, momentarily lifting them both off the bed. Kili spilled onto Bilbo's stomach just after, easing off Bilbo and lapping it up thoroughly. He crawled along Bilbo's side and was rapidly pulled into an embrace.

Entangled in one another's arms, they kissed until they were drowsy, eventually falling asleep with barely a jot between their lips.

 

 

*****

Fili begged Bofur to fuck him hard. Bofur had hoped for a more tender coupling this evening over the rougher, animal sessions Fili had been fixated on recently, but whenever Fili got that feverish glint in his eyes, Bofur found it incredibly difficult to deny him.

Collapsing together at the end, Bofur had to admit the rigorous activity (and the subsequent hammering orgasm) did just as fine a job of soothing his sadness, after all.

"Hold me," Fili whispered, happily shaken apart.  
Bofur pulled him close. "Always, Fee."  
"I adore what you do to me," Fili sighed. "I adore _you_."

Bofur grinned and held him tighter, lovingly stroking his hair.

 

 

*****

Thorin rued the turn of fortunes that would land him on a bedroll on the hard ground when only last night he shared a comfortable bed with two warm lovers, but the blanket Bilbo sent with him helped immensely. Breathing deep, Thorin pulled the symbolic comfort of Bag End around him more tightly. Although it had been quite a feat to avoid breaking down as Bilbo disappeared in the distance, Thorin had not wept as much as he expected. He missed Bilbo desperately already, to be true, but he carried love and hope back to Erebor for the first time in months, celebrating Bilbo's return to his side more than he mourned his temporary absence. Making joyous plans in his head for when Bilbo would come to Erebor in the spring, Thorin finally fell off to sleep.

Smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back! I hope to see familiar names (and new ones!) in the comments.


	2. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though it tugged at his heart to wake without Thorin in the house, Bilbo started the next day in better spirits. He knew he couldn't mope forever and, though he was sure he wasn't done crying over missing Thorin, he still had Kili, Fili, and Bofur to share his days. Spring seemed a long way off, but he had love both near and far to help him make it through. He hoped Thorin had found their reconciliation comfort enough to help him through the months that would separate them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many of you have continued onward with me! Thank you so much <3 I love you!

Dís grumbled through her breakfast, displeased to be up nearly before the sun after a rough night's sleep on the ground.

"We're not trying to beat Durin's Day this time, you know," she complained to Thorin. "We could stand not to rush and rise at dawn."  
"No, but we are trying to beat harsher weather," he replied.  
"If you were that worried about it, we shouldn't have stayed past the wedding," she sniffed.  
Shrugging, Thorin said, "Some things are worth the sacrifice. Now we're on the road, there's no reason to be sluggish about it with winter on our doorstep."  
Turning to Dwalin (who was smirking between bites), Dís said, "Was he this bad on the road to Erebor the first time?"  
"Worse," Dwalin replied.  
"Only because we were being hunted like common game," Thorin countered. "Regularly losing our mounts, our packs...believe me, dear Dís, a few early mornings are the least of the troubles we could be facing."  
Rolling her eyes, Dís conceded, "Fine."

Truth be told, Thorin _was_ in a hurry to get home, and not only because of the oncoming weather. In addition to concerns of the current state of his kingdom, he had a husband to welcome in the spring. There was much to be done.

 

*****

Though it tugged at his heart to wake without Thorin in the house, Bilbo started the next day in better spirits. He knew he couldn't mope forever and, though he was sure he wasn't done crying over missing Thorin, he still had Kili, Fili, and Bofur to share his days. Spring seemed a long way off, but he had love both near and far to help him make it through. He hoped Thorin had found their reconciliation comfort enough to help him through the months that would separate them.

Bilbo found a moment late in the morning to finally read Thorin's parting note, something he hadn't had the heart for the day before.

_"Dearest Burglar,_

_I use that term with more affection than I can express. Who would have guessed what Gandalf set in motion that fateful evening? Do you ever wonder if somehow he knew? I wouldn't put it past him. I will confess to having too full a mind and too heavy a soul that first night to truly appreciate the warmth and comfort of your dear Bag End. Returning to it was an experience, to be sure. I can admit now to resenting your home and your beautiful Shire along our road, envying both you and it. You, because as you so eloquently stated, you had a home when we had none. It, because I worried the Shire would call you stronger than our love, stronger than Erebor. I feared so much I'd lose you back to it. Little did I guess, I would have no trouble losing you all on my own._

_Somehow, we have found each other again and, much to my surprise, I think your Shire and Bag End played parts in making it so. I know departing is going to be quite a trial, but leaving you here will actually bring me comfort. We are married now, and although I want your place to ever be at my side, I see now how right Kili was when he told me you were not meant for a life in the mountain. The Shire loves you as much as you love it. I don't necessarily mean your neighbors and relations (I can almost hear you scoffing), but the grasses, trees, earth--even the very walls and furniture in Bag End. Your homeland makes you glow._

_Every minute of every day, I will ache for your voice, your touch, and your soft, pleasured sighs. I will count those minutes until you arrive in Erebor because I will be missing you desperately! Although I hope you will miss me, too, I want you to do me a favor and enjoy your winter in your Shire. I will eagerly (and guiltlessly) be borrowing you away from it in the spring._

_I would write you words of a more lascivious manner, but I cannot bring myself to spend the moments to write them while you are still within arm's reach to enact them. With the intent of bedding you in the flesh, I shall end this letter here. Perhaps when you read it, you can recall these last couple days we've spent together in joyous reclamation in lieu of dirtier words. I have a feeling my future letters will be much more suggestive._

_I love you, Bilbo Baggins._

_Your husband,_  
 _Thorin"_

 

*****

Bilbo thoughtfully paid calls on Ori (around lunchtime) and Rorimac (for tea), checking in to see how they were faring with the departure of their loved ones.

Ori was more subdued than Bilbo had seen him since the siege, not having realized what it would mean to be truly on his own for the first time in his life. He always had Nori or Dori--and frequently both--close by. It would be an adjustment, and though he was away from his brothers, Bilbo, Kili, Fili, Bofur, Thodora, and Chadham were there to see to it that Ori wouldn't be lacking in support.

After seeing Ori, Bilbo dreaded to see the state Rorimac must be in. Surprisingly, his cousin was doing far better than Ori. To tell the truth, he was nearly doing better than Bilbo.

"Your outlook is far more sunny than the last time we spoke in private," Bilbo noted. "Did you and Bifur come to an agreeable conclusion regarding his concerns?"  
"Not quite."  
"Then, forgive me for asking, but where is this good humor coming from?"  
Rorimac smiled. "I don't wish to say too much, but there was no conclusion between us at all."  
"And this...pleases you?"  
"Oh yes!"  
Bilbo furrowed his brow. "I don't follow."  
"We have parted but there was no end, not yet, and with any luck, perhaps there won't have to be one."  
Still furrowed, Bilbo nodded slowly, not comprehending.  
Exasperated, Rorimac sighed. "We have agreed to a correspondence, one which will hopefully quell his concerns and make him fall madly in love with me. As such, we did not end when he left the Shire as he originally planned, therefore I have my chance to continue onward in some way...and maybe in the best way."

Bilbo finally understood. Of course Rorimac would rather Bifur still be here, but his chance to woo Bifur would be greater if written. Whereas correspondence was a cold comfort for Bilbo and Thorin, it was Rorimac's great hope. No wonder he wasn't so gutted to see his lover gone!

Bilbo held his tea cup aloft. "I wish you the best of luck, then. Let me know if you need quill or ink."

 

*****

Bilbo arrived back at Bag End to find Kili outside, puttering around.

"You just missed Holman," Kili said. "We had a good chat about where our tree grove should go this spring. How were your visits? How is our Ori?"

Fixing Kili something belated for tea, Bilbo told him about lunch with Ori, but kept Rorimac's private news private.

"Where are Fee and Bo?" Bilbo asked.  
Kili shrugged. "They were going to talk to the smith after lunch, but beyond that, I don't know."  
Conspiratorially, Bilbo said, "I was thinking perhaps tonight we might invite them back to bed."  
"Do you feel up to it? I know Thorin leaving has you feeling tender."  
"Our night last night went a long road toward soothing that ache. I think some extra affection would do us both good."  
Kili set his fork down. "Bee, when we go back to bed again with Fee, do you recall what I promised him?"  
"I do."  
"And?"  
"And I'm pretty sure I'm eager to see it. I might even have to tattle on you if it comes to it, just to see what he'd do."  
"Bee! You wouldn't dare!" Kili gasped, clutching at his chest in mock surprise.  
Bilbo giggled in response.  
Continuing on sincerely, Kili said, "As long as you're sure. Emotions have been running high this week with everyone leaving and all that. I'd hate for you to have a poor reaction because your heart is already raw."  
"If anything, I think a little togetherness between us all might help alleviate some of that sadness."

Kili exhaled in relief. If Bilbo wasn't ready--or wasn't willing at all--Kili would have put the whole business aside, but part of him had been burning with curiosity since his breakfast altercation with Fili. He wondered if Fili had been thinking about it, too.

 

*****

Well after dinner, Thorin sat at the fire with his writing supplies, adding to his letter to Bilbo. Bifur sat next to him, sharing the inkpot and writing a letter of his own. They hadn't spoken of it, but Thorin surmised Bifur was likely writing to a hobbit himself. Dipping for fresh ink, Thorin continued writing--

_"I've not slept with you many nights since our first betrothal ended. I huddled in my bedroll last night, wondering if you still get nightmares? I'm still shamed and stunned the day on the wall happened, and humbled you found it within you to not only forgive me, but to allow me leave to so much as touch you again. I'll not live long enough to make the proper amends for that awful day, or for the terror after you told me followed you to your dreams. I hope the rekindled attachment between us has helped put that foul nighttime demon to bed, for I would have it trouble you no more. I far prefer your evenings to be filled with things like loving visions, the Valar, elven wine-fueled fantasies, and sex dreams._

_During these long, quiet leagues on the road and the nights that follow, I've had time to think about the things you have shared with me. I have been replaying conversations, re-living each and every caress and sigh. I realize I have said it before, but what a life you have with Kili! It is good for me that I hadn't known the whole (or even the half) of it when I sought to remake our bond, for I might not have had the nerve. Once I was jealous, and I can confess I get jealous still, but I'm growing more and more awed and grateful you and Kili have deemed me worthy of having any part of this. How could I have ever suspected he would be able to teach me new ways to love you and appreciate how wonderful you are?"_

Yawning, Thorin decided to stop there for the night. He waved his page in the air, encouraging the ink to dry.

 

*****

Fili sat curled up in an armchair, writing out lists of things to do, being extra careful not to drip ink onto the fabric from the side table lest he incur Bilbo’s wrath. Bofur occupied the chair Bilbo had placed on the other side of the table, carving a puzzle-toy. Kili shared the settee with Bilbo, both of them reading.

In truth, Bilbo only appeared to be reading. His mind was on the bedroom--hands on his flesh, lips on his cock, and warm tongues slicking his arsehole. He squirmed and tried to continue in his book, flipping his page back, the current one making no sense because he was unable to remember the page before. He found it quite useless trying, distracted as he was by Kili's delectable body pressed next to him. His eyes darted around the room, lingering long on both Fili and Bofur, each absorbed in their tasks.

Bofur glanced up moments later, unaware Bilbo had been watching him. He and Fili had agreed neither of them would make any overture to lead Bilbo to bed until he showed an interest, neither of them wishing to pressure him given how sad he had been the day prior. For his part, Bofur's confessions the night before had left him vulnerable and almost aching for Bilbo's lips, needing some physical tenderness between them, but it had not been the time to press. Bofur had kept his need to himself and it continued to fizz under his skin, making him emotionally restless. Though he knew holding back until Bilbo was ready was the best thing to do, Bofur itched to kiss, to hold, to shower him with love--and to be showered with love, kisses, and caresses in return.

With a sharp exhale, Bilbo firmly set aside his book and stood up. He let down his braces, unbuttoned and removed his shirt, folded it, and set it aside.

Kili still held his book but his eyes were now curiously on Bilbo. Bilbo had Bofur’s and Fili’s attention, too, though he behaved casually, as though he was in the room alone. All three dwarrows watched as Bilbo unlaced and removed his trousers, folded them, separated the braces carefully, and stacked them with his shirt. His erection was not lost on any of them, though Fili and Bofur had yet to notice the fading ink.

Swooping up his clothes in arm, Bilbo crossed the room. At the doorway, he glanced over his shoulder.

“Who wishes to join me in bed?” he asked.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll have another chapter or two detailing these first couple days of departure and then time will start to skip forward in larger increments. We'll do some smut before then, though. And some smut after. Probably more after that, too :D


	3. The Whore Of The House Of Durin, Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bilbo's eyes flew open, Bofur's head snapped up, and Kili's orgasm ripped through him with such force that everyone in the bed was affected."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note on formatting--
> 
> Our lads pair off later in the chapter, making it a bit difficult to suss out whom is where with whom. I've decided to insert full breaks when we reach that point to make it an easier read. As such, this entire chapter takes place in Bag End.

The dwarrows set aside their respective projects and scrambled after Bilbo, shedding clothes as they went.

In the bedroom, Bofur caught up to Bilbo first, pulling him close. His tongue reached Bilbo’s mouth just ahead of his lips, slipping inside. Bilbo opened to him, sealing his mouth against Bofur’s and his tongue flicking back. Bofur found the return of Bilbo to his arms and the reclaiming of his kisses as soothing as it was arousing. Feeling Bilbo now, it seemed giving him up to Thorin for those two nights (in addition to last night) had made him even more anxious and melancholy than Bofur had realized.

Parting their kiss, Bilbo was surprised when Bofur clutched him lovingly instead of diving for the next available erogenous zone. Shifting to be mindful of his tender nipples, Bilbo hugged him back.

“I’ve missed you so,” Bofur whispered in his ear.

“Bee, you’ve got something on you,” noted Fili.  
“I noticed something, too. Is it a smudge?" Bofur asked.  
Fili replied, "Wait, it is words!”  
“Yes, well,” Bilbo said, clearing his throat awkwardly. “We were playing a bit the other night and the ink was less temporary than we had anticipated.”  
“Playing at what?” Fili squatted to read Bilbo’s back and bum. “You’ve got names written on you and ‘Property Of The House Of Durin.’ What were you playing at to be marked so?”  
Glancing down, Bofur took closer notice of Thorin’s name over Bilbo’s heart, and more claims made along his hip.  
“That’s an excellent question,” he said.  
Bilbo scrubbed a hand over his face. Here he would go again. “Um, my, my, uh-”  
Kili stood from tending the fire, laying a comforting hand on Bilbo's arm. “We were acting out some of Bee’s dirty thoughts about all of us sharing his bed.”  
“What sort of dirty thoughts?” Bofur asked.

Bilbo buried his face in Bofur's shoulder. Better Kili say it than him.

“Bilbo has a fantasy that he belongs to us, the Princes and the King, that he is ours to use in bed however we might see fit. He likes playing as our whore.”  
“Not all the time, mind,” Bilbo explained, only peeking out with a corner of his eye. “But sometimes, special times, to consider it when I’m in bed with my royal lovers…I don’t know. I know it sounds like it should be humiliating, or at least degrading, but it makes me, makes me…”  
“Makes him wild,” Kili finished for him.

Bofur tangled his fingers in Bilbo’s hair. “I like the sound of that.”

Urging Bilbo's face back up, Bofur took his mouth again. The lack of Fili's and Bofur's judgement alleviated some of Bilbo's embarrassment, though his face still flushed with the heat of it.

While Bofur and Bilbo embraced, Kili grinned and tugged Fili into a kiss to start their play. As Kili reached up to cup his face, Fili firmly grabbed his wrist to stop him and pushed him back roughly.

“Fee!” Kili protested, both hurt and indignant.

Bilbo and Bofur stopped, stunned.

“What’s going on?” Bilbo asked, concerned. He was ready to call a halt to the entire encounter if Kili was upset.  
Not taking his eyes from Kili, Fili said sternly, “He knows what."  
Kili looked at him, blank.  
Fili's tone grew pointed. “Where did he touch you, Kee?”

Realization swept over Kili, and with it a blanket of relief. Fili wasn’t going to bed him playfully when the matter of Thorin needed attending to--and attending to resolutely, from the looks of it. It took every muscle in his face to fight a grin. Instead, he marshaled his best demure look.

“He…Thorin…he opened me up for Bee.”  
“Opened you to be fucked?" Fili asked, his eyes flashing fire. "You let him put his fingers inside you? You allowed him to touch you that intimately?”  
“Yes,” Kili breathed, his relief melting into a pool of lust.  
Fili fixed him with a serious look. “Did you like it?”  
“Yes,” Kili said, licking his lips in anticipation.  
“Do you remember our agreement?”  
“Yes, Fee.”  
“Tell me how he did it,” Fili demanded with quiet calm.

Bilbo stared at Fili and Kili, scarcely willing to breathe. He knew Kili had baited Fili into this--had hotly anticipated it, even--and now he was about to get his payoff. Instead of the jealousy Kili had feared, Bilbo felt a sticky, shameful arousal. He had led this sweet, virginal creature into the deepest ruins of sex and incest, and gods, did it make his cock stiff!

Kili told Fili about the oil, the thumb, and how Thorin held him roughly while Bilbo sucked him dry.

“Cor, you let Thorin do that to him?” Bofur whispered.  
“Shh,” Bilbo whispered back.

“And was that it?” Fili asked, leading.  
Kili shook his head, mustering his best guilty expression.  
“Bee fucked me next, and when he came…” Kili trailed off.  
“When he came?”  
“Thorin--Thorin licked Bilbo’s spend from me.”  
Fili gritted his teeth and made a fist so tight he felt the pull past his elbow. 

“Well, it seems we have our agenda for the evening then,” Fili said curtly. More gently, he added, “With our mates' leave, that is.”

Fili and Bofur shared a look, Bofur giving him a small nod. Bofur couldn’t wait to see this play out. Bilbo granted Fili and Kili his own nod of assent.

Fili pushed Kili onto the bed. Kili scrambled up on his hands and knees, glancing back at Bilbo once more. He took the hungry look in Bilbo’s eyes and the hobbit wetting his lips as a good sign.

First oiling a single digit, Fili ran it down Kili’s crevice, pausing at his entrance to slick along the outside. Kili shivered at his touch. For years--decades--Fili hadn’t imagined Kili’s shudders or sighs. Here, now, under his fingers, Kili’s sensuality was something Fili was inexplicably driven to explore.

Bofur made an attempt at kissing Bilbo again, but Bilbo did not yield as willingly, too interested in the show Fili and Kili were putting on. Bofur shifted them so they could both watch while they kissed, though Bilbo's focus was too divided to grant Bofur the passion he craved.

Kili rested his forehead on his clasped hands as he felt Fili touch him more intimately than he had ever touched him before. For a moment, he wished he had saved this for Fili, that he hadn’t let Thorin be the first of the two inside him. When something larger, thicker pressed into him, Kili realized it didn’t matter. Though there was the intimacy of allowing someone to touch him inside, the way it felt when Fili slipped his thumb inside him was different than the way it felt for Thorin to stroke him in this manner. Although not as intense as the feelings Bilbo invoked, it seemed the lifetime of closeness between them bled over into this as well. He could hardly wait for it to escalate.

Then suddenly, it did.

Pressing into him more roughly, Fili slung an arm underneath Kili’s chest and hoisted him up on his knees, as Kili had described Thorin doing. It felt fantastic--and taboo--and Kili found himself craning his head back for a kiss, a tongue, anything. Fili kissed Kili with his eyes open, his gaze boring into Bilbo. When Fili pulled his mouth from Kili’s, there was an odd little smile playing at the corners of his lips, looking dangerous when coupled with the rest of his stern expression.

“Whore, suck the prince,” Fili commanded Bilbo.  
Blinking, Bilbo said, “Pardon?”  
“There is a tattoo that says ‘Property Of The House Of Durin’ on your bare arse-end. You are in bed with three princes of the house of Erebor, all of us--including you--naked and drippingly hard. Unless I am deceived, you are tonight's whore, are you not?”  
A dirty jolt shot down Bilbo’s spine. “Yes, your highness.”  
“I say again, suck Prince Kili.”

Bilbo glanced up at Kili, the prince's eyes wide and glazed with lust. This encounter just took an unexpected, exciting turn for the both of them. Bilbo had ascertained during their last night with Thorin that Kili enjoyed Bilbo playing the part of the whore nearly as much as Bilbo had. Fili’s command of both Kili as well as Bilbo in this imaginary role gave it a whole new dimension, one that had Bilbo close without so much as a touch. He crawled forward and obeyed Fili's command. 

Fili could feel it in Kili's entire body when Bilbo swallowed him to the root, though Kili's moans would have also handily alerted him. Kili was so responsive, so into everything they were doing. He could scarcely believe they had dared break such rules between them, though it being forbidden made it all the more heady. He pushed his thumb into Kili again and received a lovely, arousing mewl. It was answered by a muffled groan of Bilbo's, prompting Fili to peer over Kili's shoulder. Bilbo's smooth, pale body was in front of them, on all fours, and the hobbit's mouth was busy indeed. 

Bofur watched as Bilbo did as Fili asked, which unfortunately meant leaving him on his own. How did he go from Bilbo kissing him passionately, to Bilbo half-heartedly kissing him, to no Bilbo in his arms at all? He understood Fili was playing at teaching Kili a lesson for taunting him with Thorin, having figured a way to incorporate Bilbo's unexpected fantasy, too. Valar knew it was hot, so terribly hot to see his Fee--Fee, who used to muffle his cries and apologize for his lack of skill in bedroom talk--turn into this wanton, filthy creature barking out obscene orders, but instead he was annoyed and a little forlorn that Fili had distracted Bofur's own playmate, leaving him alone.

Whispering a dirty taunt into Kili's ear, Fili turned his attention to Bofur. His lover was on his knees on the bed, holding his cock, but he was not wearing the expected lewd expression. In fact, he almost looked...disappointed. It wasn't like Bofur to not join in. 

"Bo, our whore has nothing to occupy his other end. Perhaps you can teach him more about our... _expectations_?" Fili said, adding a saucy wink.

Perking up, Bofur met Fili's gaze and grinned. Fili was consoled. Now would have been a bad time for Bofur to decide he had had enough, with Kili halfway to coming and Fili about to burst from the filthy delight of it all. Turning his attention back to Kili, he pressed with the pad of his thumb, rocking only the slightest bit in and out, Kili groaned loudly in response.

"Such wriggling and whining!" Fili teased Kili, his tone velvety and mischievous. "Perhaps _you_ should be wearing the whore tattoo."  
Kili arched back, groaning again, his mouth trying to form words.  
Fili tightened his grip at Kili's neck, pushing harder inside him. "What was that? Speak for me, Kee. What are you trying to say with your smart little mouth?"  
"F-Fee!" Kili crooned, drawing the vowel sound out, his voice getting much higher at the end.

Bilbo sucked Kili's cock, alternating between fast and slow, guessing by Kili's panting breaths what Fili might be up to behind him and meting out the madness he himself dealt accordingly to keep Kili on the edge. It seemed to be working, too--Kili leaked steadily onto Bilbo's tongue and his hip shook under Bilbo's steadying palm. Kili's pleasure had always called to Bilbo's own, and--oh, yes--Bilbo was enjoying himself thoroughly. He heard Fili speak to Bofur and had only a moment to anticipate what was next, moaning around the prick in his mouth when Bofur's glorious hands spread the cheeks of his bottom wide. 

Bofur licked into Bilbo, feeling the vibration from Bilbo's cries through his whole face. More and more, faster and deeper, Bofur tongued him until his jaw ached. Scooting up on his knees behind him, Bofur licked a digit and slipped it into Bilbo's hole. Bilbo fell off Kili for a moment, gasping for breath and cooing small noises. Kili whined and Bilbo regained himself, going back to work on him, both of them carrying on louder than before. Bofur rocked his erection against one of Bilbo's buttocks while he fingered him, breathing out pleasured sounds of his own. He looked up to take in the full scene before him. Kili was flushed everywhere Bofur could see skin and Fili looked determinedly fierce. Bofur could see his loves were about to make the young prince come, and he knew well it wouldn't the last time he would envy him so wholeheartedly.

Kili had been struggling against Fili's grip, secretly adoring how strong he was. His own muscles were shaking and his body felt as though it was at its limit. Kili had lost track of time for how long they had had him like this, with Fili handling him so intimately, yet so roughly, and Bilbo's agonizing teasing. The two of them had wordlessly figured out between them the best way to draw out him out with their respective ecstasies. 

"I feel it," Fili hissed into his ear. "You're so hot inside, did you know? Tight and burning around me, and you just got hotter. You need it don't you?"  
"Uh-huh," Kili managed to squeak.  
"Do you want me to feel it? Do you want me to feel what Thorin felt?"  
"Y-yes!"  
"I'm gonna get you off, Kee. For the first time ever, I'm gonna make my little brother come. Come down Bilbo's throat for me like a good lad."

Fili felt his face flush with embarrassment from invoking their familial relationship, though it simultaneously sent sparks of desire flying through his body in all directions. He wondered if perhaps he had gone too far.

Kili felt Bilbo speed up on his cock when Fili started talking, the hobbit obviously intent on sending him to his finish. As Fili spoke, he ruthlessly rubbed Kili's hot spot. Between them, Kili felt his orgasm finally, blessedly, make that final coil past the point of no return and-- _fuck_ \--it was going to be a huge one.

_"For the first time ever, I'm gonna make my little brother come. Come down Bilbo's throat for me like a good lad."_

Bilbo's eyes flew open, Bofur's head snapped up, and Kili's orgasm ripped through him with such force that everyone in the bed was affected. Bofur felt Kili's shaking through _Bilbo's_ body while Bilbo tried to hold his husband steady to swallow stream after stream of his release. 

Fili felt Kili tense and quake in his arms, his hole pulsing around Fili's thumb with each wave of his orgasm. It went on longer than Fili had expected before Kili slumped against him, gulping air. Fili gently slipped out of him, putting both arms around his chest to cradle him. His own prick was wet, hard, and throbbing, but Fili tried to maintain focus. He would not be bested by Thorin in this, no matter how much his need blazed.

"Are you ready to continue?" Fili murmured.  
Kili reached up and behind, running a couple fingers along Fili's jaw and tenderly over his lips. "What just happened here, Fee?"  
Fili allowed himself to step momentarily out of the role he was playing. "I-I don't know."  
"You felt it, though?"

Fili _had_ felt it, was still feeling it. He looked down into Kili's eyes, Kili quietly holding his gaze. 

_Focus_ , Fili reminded himself. 

"Are you ready to continue?" he repeated more solidly.  
Realizing their moment had unfortunately passed, Kili replied, "Not particularly, but I wasn't ready when it was Thorin, either."  
Fili's jaw twitched. "Is that so?"  
Kili really knew he shouldn't goad him any further, but he was hardly able to help himself, especially with Fili brushing off any tenderness in favor of this game.  
"Thorin took so much out of me, it was almost too much for Bilbo to have me right after," he said.

*****

While Fili and Kili had a private, whispered conversation and a cuddle, Bilbo relaxed his upper body on the bed while Bofur rocked against him, fingering him. He hummed sounds of enjoyment, particularly relishing the feeling of Bofur's free hand at his hip. It made it seem as though they were doing something far more naughty. Bilbo had already been achingly aroused by the events of the night so far, and Bofur touched him _just so_ , adding to his rapture but not tortuously so. Yavanna's grace, that dwarf was skilled with his hands!

Bofur enjoyed watching Bilbo's body sway with his rhythm. Gripping his hip with one hand as he rubbed against him, feeling his deep heat at his fingertip, making him moan and sigh--Bofur mused he could almost imagine he was fucking him. In a heartbeat, Bofur _was_ imagining it, and ridiculously close to coming on Bilbo's bum. However, before he got that far, Fili tossed Kili on the bed next to them and barked an order to Bilbo, interrupting Bofur's fantasy entirely. 

“The prince wishes to be fucked now," Fili said. "You are to spend inside him as soon as you are able. His orgasm is currently of no concern.”  
"Yes, your highness," Bilbo replied.  
"You'll find he is already adequately stretched for you," Fili added roguishly.  
Kili whimpered. He hadn't expected to rally quite that quickly, anyway, but hearing he would be fucked without his own release stirred his cock's interest.

Bilbo slicked himself, pushing Kili's legs back to facilitate his entry. Kili hooked his ankles behind Bilbo's head, folding in half as Bilbo began fucking him as commanded. 

*****

As Bilbo was having Kili, Fili kneed his way over to Bofur. He captured his mouth in a filthy kiss.

"Are you having fun with our little whore?" Fili whispered, giggling.  
"Yes," Bofur said unconvincingly.  
"But?"  
Bofur sighed. " _But_ you keep taking him away from me just when things start to heat up between us."  
"You seem frustrated...and not the fun kind I love so much."  
"I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't be here."  
"Oh, my neglected sweet," Fili said with an exaggerated, mocking pout, before breaking it with an easy smile. "We're _all_ playing, Bo. It can't be your turn all the time--you have to share."  
Bofur shot Fili a look, irritated.  
Unfazed, Fili's tone turned flirtatious. He walked his fingers up Bofur's chest. "You want him to make you come, Bo?"  
Bofur's mouth quirked in a smile he was trying to will back.  
"That's a yes," Fili said, grinning. "How? Do you want him to suck you off?"  
The smile broke the slightest bit wider.  
"Oh," Fili purred, grabbing two handfuls of Bofur's arse and biting his neck. "That's a big yes."  
Fili kissed him dirty again. "So be it. Bilbo's next part in this game is all for you, and I have some plans for you after."  
"You are a wretched, terrible creature," Bofur murmured teasingly, nuzzling and nipping at Fili's ear. "I have no idea why I continue to put up with you."  
"I'll remind you later," Fili promised.

*****

Bilbo stroked in and out of Kili, hard and steady.  
"Yes," Kili whispered over and over.  
"Fuck, you feel..." words failing him, Bilbo's head dropped forward.  
"You, too," Kili replied breathlessly.

The bed dipped behind Bilbo. "Didn't I tell you to spend inside him as soon as you were able? Fuck him harder," Fili said.  
Bilbo increased his stroke.  
"Harder," Fili said.  
Bilbo felt a slick, fat digit push into his hole. Fili pressed his chest against Bilbo's back.  
"Perhaps you need some help finishing quickly?" teased Fili huskily.  
Bilbo felt his pleasure surge so sharply, he couldn't pull enough air into his lungs.  
Next to Bilbo's ear, Fili growled, "This was the thumb I had inside him, your precious Kee. This is the one I fucked him with until he burst down your throat."  
Bilbo cried out, panting his words in huffs. "I'm about to come!"  
"I need it!" Kili begged. "Mahal's grace, give it to me!"

Bilbo could feel Kili's erection against his belly, hard and renewed. Ignoring it as he was told, Bilbo let himself go. Fili continued to stimulate him through the waves as Kili clutched at him, pleading for more.

"Yes, deep, push deep, _fuck_ , I can feel it," Kili gasped. 

When Bilbo came back to himself, Fili had already withdrawn his hand. Slipping out to drop Kili's legs, Bilbo collapsed on him, kissing him passionately. Kili's arms closed around him as he reciprocated enthusiastically. Eventually both needing a break to breathe, Bilbo slid off Kili and climbed toward the pillow, fancying a rest. 

"You're not done," Fili said, stilling Bilbo with a hand at his hip. A surprisingly tender touch slid from the small of Bilbo's back up the length of his spine before turning rough, twining into his curls and tightening. Urging Bilbo's head back by this grip, Fili looked into his eyes. 

He said, "I believe my betrothed wishes to come in your mouth."

Bilbo's lips parted in anticipation and a wet, pink tongue slipped over them. For a moment, Fili pondered taking a turn with this enticing mouth, his cock still throbbing and unspent, but Bofur would not have forgiven him. Still holding Bilbo by the hair, Fili tugged his head back a little more, licking an obscene kiss in between Bilbo's lips. Bilbo greedily accepted it. By the Valar, Kili had married well!

Bilbo crawled to Bofur and was immediately snatched up into another knee-weakening kiss. 

*****

Satisfied Bofur's sulk was about to meet an abrupt end, Fili turned his attention to Kili. Kili remained on his back and blissful, though his cock was fully engorged. He had been watching Bilbo work his way down Bofur's chest, but lazily lolled his head back to look at Fili as he moved in front.

"Roll over," Fili said. 

A hunger flared in Kili's eyes. He did as he was told. 

Fili pushed Kili's thighs wider with his knees. Smoothing both hands down the expanse of Bilbo's back, they settled on Kili's buttocks and spread them wide. He was slick and still gaping. 

“Oh, would you look at that?” Fili purred, running a finger over Kili’s wet hole.

Impishly, Kili pushed, producing a dribble of Bilbo’s spend. 

“You did that on purpose," Fili accused. He could imagine the satisfied look on Kili's face. "Are you truly so eager for me to taste your arse, Kee?” 

Kili did not answer, but he canted his hips, seeming to better present himself. Fili looked down, feeling suddenly nervous. Kissing, touching, even fingering were all one manner of thing, whereas this was quite another. There was no casual way to lick one's arse. He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. If Thorin could did this, then so could he. 

Durin's name! _Thorin_!

The thought of Thorin doing something so intimate, so special, so _real_ to Kili halted Fili's nervousness and strengthened his resolve. Fili licked from Kili’s stones up the length of his crevice, catching the drops of Bilbo’s come along the way. He paused at Kili’s opening, dipping his tongue inside. Kili wiggled into him, moaning. Lapping at him, Fili relished the way Kili felt against his tongue, the way his hole quivered, the reverberation of his moans against his mouth. Forgetting he was supposed to be cleaning the spend from him, and heedless of the remaining oil, Fili licked into Kili until he ached. He whispered apologies to all their sires in his head as Kili writhed beneath his tongue, because wrong wasn't going to stop them, not when it was this good. Fili rubbed his cock against the bed. Facilitating all this filth had aroused him almost painfully. He needed some release.

*****

Bofur cradled Bilbo's jaw, fascinated by the way it felt as he took his cock in and out of his mouth. He tensed whenever Bilbo went too fast, slowing or outright pausing him, wanting to draw it out. Usually, Bofur loved his moments of fast, frenzied pleasure, but tonight he was driven by a different compulsion, one which surprised even him. The restless sensation that had been beneath his skin was still there and it demanded something more adoring, more languorous to soothe it. He urged Bilbo to rise back up to his mouth to share heated, needful kisses.

"Let me please you," Bilbo whispered.  
"This _is_ pleasure for me. I've missed you far too much to rush."  
Bilbo reached down and wrapped his fingers around Bofur's cock. "But I want you. I want to taste you inside me."

Bofur's head fell back with a groan. Bilbo sucked at his neck, marking him, standing on tiptoe to kiss his way up toward his ear. He closed his eyes, cheeks burning with what he was about to say.

"Use me, your highness. I'm your whore tonight."  
Bofur shifted, looking into Bilbo's eyes from under hooded lids. How could he not respond to a request like that?  
"Fuck me," Bilbo murmured. 

Bofur's breath seized in his chest, and the world around them ceased to be. His pulse pounded in his ears and the head of his cock. 

Bilbo had meant, "Fuck my mouth," and figured it was implied, but Bofur's stunned reaction told him it hadn't been so. In fact, Bofur's reaction called to something inside Bilbo, making his blood rush and his heart pound. For a brief, filthy moment, Bilbo let an image of them linger in his head before making the correction. He dropped to his knees.

"Fuck my mouth," Bilbo said, this time as intended, though something fiendish inside him made him add, "Show me what it is like to be had by you."

Bofur's heart sank for the briefest of moments when he realized he had misunderstood Bilbo's meaning, but it surely did not last. Bilbo knelt in front of him, making incredibly lewd suggestions, after having just asked Bofur to use him as he would a whore. Bofur had wanted something more loving but--as it always was with Fili--he couldn't resist Bilbo's obscene, hot, wet mouth. He grabbed the back of Bilbo's head and thrusted. 

*****

Sitting back, Fili rested his bum on his heels. He tapped Kili’s leg. “Turn around, up on your knees, and look at me. Up here, at eye-level."  
Kili scooted, resting on his knees at roughly Fili's height.  
“You made Thorin come,” Fili said.  
“Yes.”

Fili knew Kili must have--he was too much of a sexpot to have skipped that part--but an arc of jealousy burned within him. Biting the inside of his lip to steady his voice, Fili pondered the different ways of asking how, deciding in the end on a simple command, instead.

“I want you to make _me_ come. Would you deny me the satisfaction you granted him?”

Kili noticed the cloud that passed over Fili’s face, saw Fili do the tell-tale chewing of the inside of his mouth Kili knew he did when he was more upset than he wanted to let on. Guilt washed over him. The truth was, Fili was more to him than just another body in the bed, or Bilbo’s lover (as Thorin was), and though he had fun invoking Thorin to get Fili riled, he never intended for it to make Fili truly feel bad. Kili needed to show him, make him feel it, somehow, that what they were doing together was special. He glanced down at Fili’s cock: hard, purple-tipped, and wet. Fili's control had been admirable. Kili was going to richly reward him with much-needed relief.

In answer, Kili shook his head slowly. Wordlessly, he maneuvered Fili to stretch out supine. Fili opened his mouth to question him and Kili silenced him with his fingertips. Replacing them with his lips, he moved on to press kisses down the length of Fili's torso. Fili trembled under his lips as he kissed at his hipbones and Kili grinned against his skin. Fili shuddered again when Kili took his cock in his hand, then shouted in rapturous surprise as Kili closed around it with his mouth.

*****

Bilbo glanced over, curious at what was happening next to them. Kili had told him time and time again that he had been in no hurry to suck any cock that wasn’t Bilbo’s--including Thorin’s. Bilbo found it interesting that he would break his self-imposed rule for Fili. Bilbo had always thought it was an odd restriction in the first place--who would consent to arseplay and not want to suck a lovely prick?--but he knew he had no room to criticize strange boundaries. It was fascinating, watching Kili work over someone else’s cock. He had seen it from above, of course, but not from the side. It was a gorgeous sight. Instead of envy, Bilbo could only simply marvel again at how amazing his husband was. He wondered if he looked like that right now while he was on Bofur?

*****

Fili sucked in a breath so sharply upon feeling the heat of Kili’s mouth that he almost choked on it. Fili hadn't anticipated anything like this when he asked Kili to make him come as he had made Thorin. When they had discussed things like this prior, Kili had been adamant that Bilbo’s was the only cock he would be taking in his mouth. Fili’s jealousy of Thorin burned in him more hotly than ever. Kili had broken his rule for Thorin! Ripples of ecstasy interrupted Fili's thoughts, though, and for the next several moments he thought of nothing but Kili's decadent tongue.

*****

Bofur wasn't going to last, taking Bilbo's mouth like this, and his chances dwindled further when Kili pulled Fili between his lips. Bofur almost wanted to laugh, because there was a time when Fili was uncomfortable even hearing Kilil's pleasure through the walls. Things had certainly changed, hadn't they? Bofur supposed he should probably feel guilty for getting off on all this--incest, sex, and the sharing of intendeds and spouses--but he was suddenly too busy coming in Bilbo's mouth to feel any guilt at all.

"Bloody buggering fuck!" he groaned, holding Bilbo's head with both hands. 

*****

Bofur's orgasm briefly interrupted Fili's exhilaration. He had been winding his hands into the blanket, eyes closed, breathing heavy, and reveling in the sensations Kili was sending through him. His eyes fluttered open and he glanced down, moaning. Kili had no right looking this good around a cock. Fili reached out, brushing Kili's hair out of his eyes and resting his hand on his cheek.

"Beautiful," Fili whispered. 

Kili looked up at him with his wide, chocolate eyes, full of delight and lust, not once losing his stroke. Fili felt a swell of lewd amusement and joy, followed by an unexpectedly bitter pang. Thorin had had him like this. Those eyes had peered up at _him_. Fili growled. This mouth, this clever tongue, those sounds in the back of his throat like Kili was loving it every bit as much as he was, they weren't meant for Thorin. Kili was too special, too beautiful, too _made to suck cock_ to simply, simply, simply, simply--

"Fuck! Coming! Kee!" 

Fili shouted as Kili's warning, though he didn't give him much time to react. He hadn't had much time himself--it hit him fast and it hit him hard. It didn't matter, of course. Kili swallowed every drop Fili gave him, continuing to kiss and lick until Fili laughed and begged him to stop. Kili flopped down next to Fili, resting his head on his hand, peering at him while Fili caught his breath. Fili glanced over at him, meeting his eyes. 

"Did you take Thorin's load down your throat so skillfully, too?" Fili asked, knowing how petty it sounded but somehow unable to stop himself. He looked away nervously, trying to seem nonchalant.  
"No," Kili replied.  
Fili's glance shot back up. "No?"  
Still resting his head on his hand, Kili shook his head. "I didn't do that to Thorin," he said with a soft smile.  
"But I told you-"  
"You asked for satisfaction. You didn't say how."  
Fili sucked in one of his cheeks, the other rising in a half-smile. "You brat! You knew what I was going to think!"  
Kili giggled.  
Fili fidgeted with Kili's free hand. "I-I thought you didn't do that. Only to Bilbo."  
"I don't."

Kili rolled on top of Fili, looking into his eyes. "Thorin was for play, but you're...you're _Fee_."

As was their way, Fili needed no further explanation. Seizing Kili's face, he kissed him fiercely. 

*****

Bofur held Bilbo in his arms, thrilling in the closeness. He still found it nigh unbelievable he was free to stroke and kiss him. Another pair of arms encircled him from behind and he felt the familiar scratch of Fili's beard on his back as he nuzzled against him. Bilbo chirped a happy noise and Bofur opened his eyes, seeing Kili nibbling at Bilbo's neck. Kili pulled Bilbo back, turning him around in his arms, both of them toppling onto the bed together. Fili ensured Bofur didn't feel the loss for long, laying him down for some thorough kissing of his own.

Fili whispered into Bofur's ear, "I want to be inside you."


	4. In Between The Moon And You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Bag End lovin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the last chapter in the first couple hours within posting, re-read the end with Fili and Bofur. I changed a line to make Fili the top for this chapter.

Kili snarled into Bilbo's ear, "I think it is well past this prince's turn to properly seed his whore, don't you? After all, isn't that what your tight little hole is for? For having? For _filling_?"

He smiled with satisfaction as his words alone made Bilbo writhe. Speaking so lewdly to Bilbo aroused him, too. He pushed Bilbo onto his stomach, slicking his fingers and slipping inside. Bilbo had already been somewhat oiled by Fili, a thought which sent a tingle through Kili's abdomen. Though he started with the intent of playing into Bilbo's fantasy, he soon found himself spreading soft kisses and whispers across Bilbo's back while he stretched him intimately, their inherent intensity overwhelming him until he was as much at Bilbo's mercy as Bilbo was at his. All he could do was hum in pleading delight when Bilbo traded their places, straddling Kili with the intent of assisting in his own taking.

*****

Bofur grinned to himself when he felt Fili stretching him with neither rush nor force. It had been a wild evening in bed and he had certainly benefited, but he was ready for something more deeply passionate. Watching Kili and Bilbo, he could almost feel what was between them. Kili worked open a squirming, moaning Bilbo, caressing his back and murmuring soft devotions into his skin in between kisses. He watched Bilbo lower himself onto Kili's prick--Mahal, Bofur still loved that image, carried from the time he caught his first illicit peek--and moved slowly, Kili rocking up into him. Somehow, the other couple had wound up perpendicular to Bofur and Fili, giving him a full view to appreciate. Bofur had thought about asking Fili to bed him face to face, but something about watching Kili and Bilbo, so in love and seemingly so oblivious to the other couple in the bed, made facing their direction rather appealing.

Bofur relished the few easy, languorous strokes it took Fili to push his renewed erection all the way inside him, tendrils of passion and affection curling up through his center. He had been envying the show of ardor in front of them, and now--after far too long without--it seemed as though he would get his own.

Holding Bofur at his hips, Fili growled "I'm going to fuck you so hard, you're going to taste it," and began to thrust.

A thrill went through Bofur's body even as his heart sank. There was no denying Fili felt good inside him, and he knew he should simply be thankful for such an energetic, enthusiastic lover, but he could not help craving something laden with more meaning. Even as Fili pounded into him, Bofur's eyes were on Bilbo and Kili, living vicariously through their closeness. Bilbo moved sinuously, slowly, clearly driving both him and Kili out of their heads in shared rapture. Bofur's yearning for Bilbo and his craving for a more visceral affection from Fili fused within him, culminating in a sharp ache of longing in his chest. Bofur reached out, straining to touch Bilbo as though his next breath depended on the heat of Bilbo's skin under his fingers, but he only managed to graze a leg. Then, as though some unspoken prayer had been heard, Bilbo took his hand.

*****

Bilbo's head was spinning in glorious ways. Kili had spoken dangerously of it being his turn inside the whore, but he had spent each moment of this coupling worshiping Bilbo's body as though it was sacred. Bilbo rolled with him, riding and moaning. A touch grazed his thigh, catching his attention. Bilbo looked to see Bofur being gorgeously bent over and fucked. It sent a delicious twinge through Bilbo's body and suddenly he desperately needed to be touching Bofur, too. Taking his hand, Bilbo tore his eyes off the beautiful lines of Bofur's back and arse presented for Fili and looked into Bofur's face. He felt an entirely different twinge.

Bilbo twisted, leaning himself to the side to try and catch Bofur's mouth, needing to do something, anything, to answer the longing he saw in his expression. Bofur craned his tongue out to bridge the distance, getting knocked forward with each of Fili's thrusts. Bilbo also had issues, trying to hold himself up and ride Kili while he was so contorted.

Kili tapped Bilbo's thigh, encouraging him to change their position. Mirroring Fili, Kili bent Bilbo over, close enough that Bilbo and Bofur came together in a hungry kiss.

Being rocked together by two differently paced lovers was a dangerous proposition, and besides, Bofur needed to _hold_. He scrambled forward, off Fili's cock, and pushed Bilbo up on his knees, the hobbit's back close to Kili's chest. Bofur immediately claimed Bilbo's lips again.

Fili, delighted by Bofur's unpredictability, chased after him.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked mischeviously, pushing inside once again.

Bofur was torn between his heart and his body. Fili felt fantastic inside him, roughly and obviously enjoying himself, but Bofur wanted _more_. He let his head fall back, moaning, mouth chasing Fili's kiss, wanting to feel some semblance of tenderness from the one who loved him most. When he lost Fili's mouth to the the nape of his own neck, he went back to Bilbo again, still seeking fulfillment.

Kili, excited by the new positioning and the feral look in Fili's eyes, went from making love to Bilbo to fucking him in earnest. Bilbo sucked in a sharp breath and exhaled Kili's name as a moan. Kili felt the pressure build inside, reaching around to help Bilbo get there, too.

Bofur felt Kili's knuckles graze against him as he pleasured Bilbo. Gently, Bofur grasped Kili's wrist to stop him. 

Looking over Bilbo's shoulder to catch Kili's eye, he implored, "Let me, please."

Bofur's pleading expression was enough for Kili to grant his request. He released Bilbo's cock and used his newly freed hand to grasp Bilbo's shoulder, the leverage helping Kili pull them together more surely.

"I'm close," Kili cautioned Bilbo.  
"Just come, Kee," Bilbo whispered back, glancing into Bofur's eyes. "He's got me."

Fili, way too close himself, reached around to stroke Bofur, but found Bilbo's fingers already there. Confident Bilbo would not leave Bofur wanting, Fili also made better use of both his hands, holding Bofur to fuck him fast and hard. 

"Bo," Fili moaned in warning. He repeated his name again, just ahead of coming.

Bofur and Bilbo embraced, kissing, shaking and gasping against the other's mouth as the bonds surged beneath their skin, one after the next, their forms stuttering in time with their lovers' orgasms. They continued to hold to each other--touching, licking, stroking--hardly noticing Fili and Kili leaving the bed after their warmth had left their bodies. 

Fili and Kili had pulled away from their respective lovers, barely disturbing the kiss that was happening in the middle of the bed. Bilbo and Bofur had themselves in hand, but there was nothing frantic, no orgasm seemingly imminent. Kili and Fili left them to it, scooting off the bed to go get something to wash up.

*****

Kili and Fili puttered around in the bathing room, taking their time cleaning up. Kili stole frequent looks at Fili, who was acting as though they hadn't done anything more earth-shaking than have dinner. They had a moment of tenderness after Kili brought him off, but that, too, seemed to have slipped away almost as quickly as the one before it. How could Fili act so infuriatingly normal? How could he--the veritable king of needing to talk things to death--have no seeming desire to talk about this thing that passed between them (twice)? Working himself up with such thoughts, Kili had had enough of it. With his usual impatience, he backed Fili into the wall for answers.

"Why wouldn't you talk about it when I asked you before?" Kili demanded.  
Fili raised his eyebrows and opened his mouth.  
Kili said, "Don't you dare ask me 'what,' either."  
Fili closed his mouth again. Looking into Kili's face, he sighed. "It wasn't time. We were in the middle of the game."  
"And now?"  
Fili raised a shoulder in part of a shrug. "Now the blood has slowed. I feel like I've made my point about Thorin, about you, and about me."

This was not the answer Kili expected. He thought they were going to start a discussion, not avoid one. Fili's casual tone was none too flattering, either. Kili sought to provoke a better reaction.

"Well, you've not done everything Thorin and I managed, yet," he countered brattily.  
"Oh?"  
"We came on each other, you know. As a matter of fact, we came stroking our pricks together."

Fili remembered Kili and Thorin crying out their names, each urging the other to his finish as he peeked through the crack in the door, the two of them splitting Bilbo wide.

"Was that inside or outside Bilbo?" Fili asked.  
Kili fixed him with a shrewd eye, impressed. "Well, inside him, but still. We used our cocks to make the other burst. We were coated in semen, regardless. "  
"I see," Fili said evenly, making efforts not to rise to Kili's bait even though the memory burned in his gut.  
Annoyed, Kili searched his mind for something else. “I wanked him off while Bilbo had him, too.”  
Fili yawned. “Those will have to be lessons for another time, I think. I’m spent.”  
Frustrated and needing a different approach, Kili stopped being coy. "Dammit, Fee! You felt it, you had to have! I took you in my mouth because of it. I _swallowed_ you."

Ah, now Fili understood. Kili always did need a little more reassurance when it came to emotional matters. 

"I did feel it, I told you I did," Fili said gently. "Do we truly warrant more discussion than that?"  
"I suppose not," Kili replied, worrying his lower lip.  
Fili smoothed a hand through Kili's hair. "Look, we've always been special together. People have always remarked upon it, haven't they? Nobody who has met us has missed how special our kin-bond is, and I'm proud of it. In fact, it has been one of the proudest things in my life, being your brother. Bringing sex into it was bound to be something uniquely special, too. I liked it, I liked _you_ , but I don't feel compelled to analyze it. I'm-I'm honored you gave me something you didn't give Thorin--downright thrilled, to be honest, because I'm wickedly jealous of the permissions you have given him to your body--but even so, if it is all the same to you, I think we should leave being lovers in the bed when we get out of it. I don't want to lose being your brother."  
"I just wanted you to tell me you felt it, to know it moved you, too," Kili said softly.  
"Oh, Kee, how could it not move me? I would have to be made of harder stuff than stone or mithril to not be moved by you."  
Relieved, Kili smiled. He said, "I don't want to sacrifice Fee the brother to have Fee the lover. I think I would be agreeable to leaving it in the bed, too."  
Fili nudged his forehead against Kili's, murmuring his name affectionately. 

Mulling over Fili's words a second time, Kili felt guilty having so goaded and pushed him in the pursuit of personal pleasure. 

He said, "You know, even when we're in bed, we don't always have to behave as lovers, not if you don't want."  
"You are a beautifully sensual creature when you get going, but I might prefer perhaps not always having the burden of being lovers when the four of us are naked."  
Kili nodded thoughtfully.  
"I don't need us to have what I have with Bo, or what you have with Bee," Fili further explained. "What's between you and me is ours and ours alone, and although we have discovered it runs far deeper than I had truly realized, I don't feel the need to behave as though I'm to court you. You have always just been my Kee, and that's who you always will be."  
Kili huffed a small laugh. "How do you always figure out how to say the things I cannot find words for? Though I think I might wish to play more frequently than you will, I don't know how to be anything else other than your Kee."  
"Well, to be fair, I think you simply _want_ more frequently in general. I think my prick would fall off if Bo and I shagged the way you and Bee do."  
"Would it be okay if I asked you to play when I wanted it?"  
"As long as you would not be upset if I might not want it at the same time. I adore it, too, but perhaps only for special times, when we're getting especially filthy."  
"I love you, you know," Kili said quietly.  
Fili hugged him.  
"I love you, too," Fili said, "and now we know for sure what we've always suspected deep down: we are a part of each other."

*****

Fili oozed from his hole, yet Bofur's mind was swimming in such a way he could scarcely remember being fucked. Bilbo was kissing him, touching him, _loving_ him--it was everything Bofur had been needing. Bilbo seemed content to kiss Bofur for an eternity, too. In truth, it was Bofur who grew impatient first. He kissed down to Bilbo's neck, biting gently, awaiting a protest that did not arrive. He still could not get over being allowed to leave claims in Bilbo's neck, and he rutted against his lover in his excitement as he did so.

"Not so hasty, Bo," Bilbo whispered into his ear, an easy hand slowing his hips. "I want it slow."  
"Aye," Bofur murmured back. 

Bilbo left his arms for a moment, giving Bofur a feeling far too empty. He watched as Bilbo reached not for the oil dish, but the bottle along side it. Bilbo poured as much into his hand as he could cup, setting the bottle aside and carefully returning to him. 

Taking Bofur's right hand, Bilbo emptied his palm of pooling liquid. Reaching down, he slicked Bofur's cock with the remainder. Bofur shuddered, pulling in a sharp breath. Bilbo rubbed his palm against Bofur's one more time, sharing the oil there. He looked into Bofur's eyes, recognizing the tender need deep within them.

Bilbo simply said, "Together."

Bofur spread his knees to put their pricks at equal height and united them, cupping his palm along the side. Bilbo did the same for the other side. The girth was too much between them to fully close around, so they used the friction between them in the middle to help them along. Their movements were languid, their bodies undulating together in a tantalizing rhythm. They each cradled the other's face with their free hands, kissing as they stroked. Eventually, Bilbo's hand slipped down from Bofur's face, riding next along the small of Bofur's back, and on his hip thereafter.

Bilbo breathed, "I love to feel your body move. It makes me think of, makes me think-"  
"-Tell me," Bofur panted. "I need you to tell me."  
"I imagine this is what Fee can feel when you're filling him, when he reaches for your hips to pull you in deeper."  
Bofur moved his hand down to cup Bilbo's bottom. "And this is how you feel under Kee's hands when you are riding him, moving on him, driving him out of his mind with how glorious you must feel inside."

Bilbo sensed something unspoken in their conversation, something that was too much and not enough. It was heady, and he grew close. He puffed out small whines as he rolled his hips at an increasing pace.

"How can you be in my arms, in my very hand, and yet I still need you, still crave you, still want more of you? By the Valar, Bilbo, you tempt me so," Bofur confessed, impassioned.  
"You're about to get more," Bilbo said under his ragged breath.  
Growled Bofur, "Come."

Bilbo heatedly pulled Bofur's lips to his and, as though it was Bofur's to command, Bilbo's pleasure erupted in spurts between them, striping Bofur's hand and cock. Bilbo groaned against Bofur's mouth, the sound reverberating on his tongue. Bofur moaned back, the two of them still holding tightly to each other for moments after. 

Bilbo put both hands around Bofur's cock, which was still slick with oil and the remnants of Bilbo's spend. He stroked it steadily, but far from frantic, holding Bofur's gaze all the while. 

"Such a gorgeous specimen, truly," Bilbo purred. "How do I ever get my mouth around it when my thumb can't even meet my fingers around it?"  
"Hobbit talent. Remember, I've seen your people eat," Bofur managed to joke, panting. "Still, you've proven before you can finish me with one hand."  
"Ah, but don't two feel so lovely surrounding you?"  
Bofur's voice was a bare rasp. "Aye."

The build-up to Bofur's finish was unhurried and vexing in the most delicious way. Long before he snapped, he felt it grow in the whole of his core. Bilbo only broke their eye contact for kisses pressed to Bofur's skin or lips, the sound of their shared breaths only broken by sweet, filthy encouragement. Both still on their knees, Bofur had been marveling at how they managed to make love to each other with nothing more than hands and kisses when finally, beautifully, he came. 

When Bofur opened his eyes, Bilbo knelt before him, a gentle hand still holding his cock. Bilbo gazed up at Bofur with such adoration, he could feel it in the center of his chest. Taking Bilbo's wrist, Bofur lifted his hand to his mouth, darting his tongue out to lick a swath of his own semen from Bilbo's fingers. Bilbo rose to chase Bofur's tongue back into his mouth and the two were lost to another embrace, neither caring about the mess Bilbo was making by wrapping his arms around him.

*****

Kili and Fili returned with warm, damp wash-flannels to find Bofur and Bilbo much as they left them, kissing on their knees in the middle of the bed--though they had become considerably more messy in the interim. Kili and Fili wiped them down lovingly before dousing the candle and pulling the grate on the fire. By the time they joined them in between the covers, Bilbo and Bofur were already cuddling face to face with their legs entwined. Fili swooped in for a kiss from Bofur before spooning against his back. Kili similarly wrapped himself around Bilbo.

Though neither he nor Bilbo had said much to each other after he came, Bofur was wrapped up comfortably in the warmth of Bilbo's love. He felt happily weightless as he floated towards sleep.

*****

Bilbo woke to a hand caressing his hip and an erection nudging against his arse. His legs were no longer mingled with Bofur's, though he remained close to him on the bed. Bilbo turned his head back as far as he could and Kili enthusiastically nipped at his ear.

"Kee?" Bilbo whispered.  
Kili whispered back, "Thank the Maker you're awake. You've been driving me mad."  
"I've been asleep!" Bilbo hissed in defense.  
"You've been leaking my seed as I held you," Kili reached down. "Do you feel that? I'm slick with it."  
Bilbo felt Kili tease at his entrance.  
"Gods, Kee," Bilbo moaned soft and low.  
" _Please_ , I need you."

Bilbo raised his thigh in answer. Kili muffled a grunt into his shoulder, pushing into him. The oil, stretch, and semen from earlier kept it from being unpleasant, but there was more friction than they usually had. 

"Quietly, Kee," Bilbo urged.  
Kili assured him, "Fee sleeps like the dead."

*****

Bofur dreamed hazily of faint shapes and the sound of Bilbo's quick breaths as he bit back some manner of beautiful ecstasy. Smiling to himself, he roused from his dream...though the sound remained. Adjusting to the faint moonlight in the room, he saw Bilbo in front him. Kili clutched him across the chest and rolled into him elegantly, adoringly. Bilbo's eyes were closed and his lips were parted, gasping with each push inward. Watching them now, Bofur felt a similar envious pang as the one he had felt earlier. Though Bilbo and Kili were sex-mad for each other, they worshiped one another every bit as frequently as they frantically fucked. He heard Fili breathing deeply behind him and wished for a moment he would wake, that he would see--really _see_ \--how much their own recent couplings had been lacking such tenderness.

Bilbo's eyes snapped open, catching Bofur's gaze. Flickers of desire and interest reflected in the dim light as Bilbo wet his lips. Half-asleep, Bofur didn't pause to think before he dove for Bilbo's mouth. The clung to each other, kissing, while Kili rocked behind Bilbo. Neither Bilbo nor Bofur were hardening in their pricks, though their internal passions burned hotly. 

"Can you?" Kili murmured, his hand snaking around.  
Breaking his kiss with Bofur, Bilbo shook his head, "All for you. Give it," he encouraged.

Craning his neck back to kiss Kili through his rapture, Bilbo felt Bofur's lips on his throat. Once again, he mused that no hobbit had ever been so adored. 

Kili stayed inside Bilbo long after his pulses ebbed, holding him close and whispering words of eternal devotion in his ear. The fell asleep joined together, Kili's lips yet resting against Bilbo's skin. 

Sinking back into his pillow, Bofur almost chuckled at how utterly unfazed Fili was by what had just transpired next to him. He only knew Bombur to sleep as heavily. As exasperated as he had been with Fili's need for harder, faster, rougher lately, he could not help but smile fondly at him. He truly adored that dwarf. He simply longed to show him how much. 

A veil of drowsiness swept over Bofur. As sleep came for him again, he wondered if the past several minutes hadn't been some sort of lovely dream after all.


	5. Mending Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of delightful obscenity, several deep conversations are had in Bag End that will heavily influence the futures of all who dwell there.

After a bit of a sleep-in, the residents of Bag End woke and made their breakfast. Bilbo took frequent glances out the window, frowning at the overcast sky. He had things to do today and a cold autumn rain was going to hinder him considerably. His frown deepened when he thought of Thorin and their friends on the road, possibly getting caught in rain or worse. He hoped (for the hundredth time) they would reach Rivendell quickly and comfortably. 

Bilbo wasn't sure how Fili and Kili would behave around each other today, either. Last night was fairly intense for all of them, and he could tell Kili had been profoundly moved by this first foray as Fili's lover. It had all been rather exciting at the time, to be sure, but things had a way of being different by the light of day. Had it been a mistake? Would it change the brothers?

"You...you _pudding_!" Kili shouted at Fili, accusingly.  
"What?" Fili said, rather innocently considering he had half Kili's last sausage in his mouth.  
"That was mine and you know it!"  
"Says who?"  
"Says we all had four apiece when we cooked them and I still had one left to eat!" Kili huffed.  
Fili shrugged. "Three will do you plenty, considering all the toast you ate."  
"I'm a growing dwarf," countered Kili.  
Fili deliberately stabbed and ate the other half. "Only sideways!"  
"I'll sideways you!" Kili snarled.

As Kili dived across the table to fight Fili over the indignity of losing the last sausage, Bilbo grinned to himself. _"Nope, no change there."_

As he finished his own last bites, however, Bilbo's frown returned. Days were passing and they still hadn't told Fili or Bofur about the shared dream of Yavanna and Mahal. Bilbo had hoped to tell them the night before, in bed, but things had taken such unexpected turns with their roleplay that there was never an appropriate moment to share it. The more time Bilbo allowed to slip by, the more offended he could picture Fili and Bofur getting that they hadn't been confided in--particularly when Thorin already knew. Bilbo had joked to Thorin and Kili both that it wasn't the sort of thing one could blurt out over breakfast, but he didn't know how long the perfect, golden moment to spill this secret would elude him.

*****

Bofur, Kili, and Fili were helping clean away breakfast when Bilbo pointedly tossed down his rag and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms. His expression was solemn, so solemn that all three dwarves in the kitchen stopped what they were doing and waited for him to speak.

"We have something to tell you two," Bilbo said to Fili and Bofur.

Bilbo shot a meaningful gaze toward Kili, receiving a nod of understanding from him in return. 

Fili glanced between them, curious what the look was about. "What's that?"  
Bilbo shifted his weight nervously. "It is...well, it is something pretty important, something I've been trying to tell you for a couple days, now, and I've not known the right way to say it."  
Fili watched Bofur's face go pale.  
"There is no good way, really," Bilbo babbled on.  
Bofur grabbed Fili's hand; Fili felt him trembling.  
"Bloody blazes, Bee, just out with it!" Fili snapped, trying to prod Bilbo to finish before Bofur fainted straight away.  
"It sounds fanciful, but please keep an open mind."

Bilbo told the story of their dream and the blessing of the extension of his life, starting back as far as his first vision of Yavanna and the release from his nightmares (which hadn't plagued him since). Kili wove in and out to share his parts in the events as they went. When they finished, Fili and Bofur just stared.

"What do you think?" Bilbo asked nervously.  
Fili spoke first. "Together and separately, you both have been visited by your respective makers."  
"Yes," Kili replied.  
Bofur remained silent.  
"And this trial Kee was given, you were both there? You both remembered it exact?" Fili asked.  
Kili nodded. "Yes, word for word. I know it sounds like a fairy story, Fee, but I believe it to my bones."  
"I think I believe it, too, as extraordinary as it is," Fili said.

The three of them looked to Bofur for his assessment. Bofur's jaw twitched, his lip trembled, and his eyes seemed to be growing wetter.

"Bo?" Bilbo said, uncertain.

Bofur dove for Bilbo, scooping him up in an embrace that took his furry toes off the floor. Quiet hints of weeping could be heard, along with the occasional whisper of Bilbo's name. Fili was feeling a little overcome, both for himself as well as for the relief he knew this would bring the ones he loved. Kili was moved all over again, and Bilbo was crying with Bofur, though if pressed he likely could not have told anyone specifically why.

Bofur loosened his hold on Bilbo only as much as he needed to look into his eyes, tears still spilling.

"Yavanna's grace, Bo," Bilbo teased gently. "Even Kee didn't cry this much."  
"For one, he was _there_ , and for another thing..." Bofur faltered, embarrassed.  
"For another thing?" Bilbo pressed.  
"For another thing, I thought you were going to announce something different. I'm feeling all kinds of relief right now in a half-dozen different ways and it seems to all be pouring out of my eyes."  
Bilbo grew concerned. "What could you have possibly thought I was going to say?"  
Bofur sighed, feeling sheepish. "I thought you were going to tell me this was over."  
"What?" exclaimed Bilbo, aghast. "How could you think that?"  
Bilbo glanced around for aid.  
"The way you were framing it, Bee, I was wondering if maybe that wasn't it myself," Fili admitted.  
"I wouldn't! I apologize!" Bilbo fretted. "My trepidation...oh dear, I can see it now, but no! I was worried perhaps you might think I was foolish for believing something so unlikely, and I would understand-"  
Fili smiled comfortingly, placing a hand on Bilbo's shoulder. "After all we've seen and done since the day we met, I think we would have enough faith for this one, yeah? Particularly considering you and Kee experienced this vision together."  
"We haven't known how to tell you, and it has been eating at me," Bilbo said, unable to stop explaining. "Forgive me, please, both of you."

Releasing Bilbo, Bofur grabbed the last of the bread loaf off the counter and headed for the door. 

"Wait! Where are you going?" questioned Fili.  
Wiping his eyes, Bofur sniffed and said, "I'm heading out to the shrine and thanking the Makers."  
Fili raised his brows. "With a fat heel of bread?"  
Bofur replied, "I'll bury something more substantial underneath it later when I've had time to make something worthy." 

With that, he rushed outside, as though any hesitancy on his part would somehow single-handedly end Bilbo on the spot. 

Fili, stunned by both the news as well as Bofur's reaction, turned to Bilbo. "Does Thorin know?"  
Bilbo nodded guiltily. "I told him before he left. It was, I don't know, easier, I suppose, to find the right time to tell him."  
"I understand," Fili soothed. "And his reaction?"

Bilbo smiled to himself, thinking of the filthy, heated lovemaking that followed that particular confession.

"Oh, he was quite thrilled," Bilbo said.

*****

It was cold and grey, but thankfully the expedition to Erebor hadn't met with the coming rain yet. Dís shifted for comfort as they rolled, glancing back toward the bed of the wagon where Thorin was sitting at the moment. He was obviously deep in thought, though he did not seem melancholy. In fact, now that she considered it, he hadn't seemed personally out of sorts at all for the past couple days--something which had been quite unusual since her reunion with him. As much as she hated to think it, that kiss with Bilbo must have done him some good, because she often caught him wearing a strange smile...very much like the one he bore now.

*****

Bilbo left to pay a call on Ori, still worried about his friend, and Kili wanted to go with him. Fili and Bofur declined to join them this time, reasoning if Ori was feeling fragile, he might not wish a full house.

The rain came not long after. 

"Bilbo is going to be pretty put out to walk home in this mess," Fili chuckled.  
"Nah, he'll wait it out at Ori's, I'm sure."  
"Well then," Fili said seductively, running a hand up Bofur's thigh. "I'm sure we can make good use of an empty, cozy, dimly lit smial."

Perhaps it was last night's loveless escapade, or maybe it was Bilbo's revelation this morning, but Bofur was feeling way too tender to entertain another one of Fili's animalistic sessions. 

"Will we? Will we be using it or will you simply be using me?" Bofur asked tensely.  
Fili's answering smile was furrowed and confused. "What sort of question is that?"  
"When was the last time you made love with me?" Bofur demanded.  
Rolling his eyes, Fili answered. "Last night. I would hope you would remember, considering you were there."  
"No, I don't mean a hard, fast fuck. You never want to do anything but hammer each other into the bed anymore."  
"What? That's not true!"  
"Whenever I want to be loving, or want us to be more passionate than primal, you just want to go rough and dirty."  
"Is there something wrong with that?" Fili argued, flummoxed.  
"I miss feeling deeply loved when we have sex, and I fear it will go on indefinitely. It has been too long already."  
"Durin's sake, Bo! It was, what, maybe five days ago? Five days doesn't mean 'never again.'"  
"That's not the point," Bofur said, sulking.  
"You're truly upset about this, aren't you?"  
Bofur looked away.  
Fili gently touched Bofur's jaw, urging him to look at him. He hummed a small, nervous laugh.  
"How can I be faulted for wanting it wild when you are so good at delivering it?" he asked. "So gorgeous taking it?"  
Slightly softening, Bofur shrugged but did not say anything.  
"I didn't know you weren't enjoying it, or I would not have pressed. I thought you loved being with me like that," Fili said.  
"I did! I do!" Bofur said. "But one of the things I prize about taking you to bed is the softness that goes with the madness. I feel you in ways that have nothing to do with my orgasm when we go at each other slow. Not even slow, really, but lovingly. Frenzied need feels glorious--and it is flattering, to be sure--but sometimes I need a passion it does not produce. I love you, my Golden One, and I get restless if we can't express it with our bodies."  
"Bo, just because I want you to fuck me silly doesn't mean I don't adore you."  
"Don't you feel the absence of the tenderness when it isn't there?" Bofur asked.  
"I still feel all of it, regardless. I'm so in love with you, you fool."

Fili kissed him, sensuous and exploratory.

"What--what are you doing?" Bofur asked.  
"Showing you how I feel."

Fili took Bofur's hand and led him, not to their room but the master bedroom. Courteously, Fili put down a towel over the blanket before undressing them both himself. Bofur did not argue with Fili's choice of bed; rather, he liked the thrill of being in the bed they made, just the two of them. 

On the bed, Fili licked, nibbled, and kissed Bofur from neck to navel, skipping his cock to lovingly caress his tattoos. Other than gasps and obscene moans, they were quiet. Even when Fili prepared Bofur, there had been no negotiations of whom would be taking whom, nor any of Bofur's usual salacious flirts. 

Bofur felt it go right to his core--every touch, every lick, every treasuring hum against his flesh as Fili pressed his lips to it. It was everything he had been needing from Fili these past few days and then some. Fili flipped his legs back, folding him in half in order to push into him face-to-face. Bofur groaned in hot approval. 

Fili saw a difference in Bofur's expression, felt it in his clutching fingers, and tasted it in his kiss. He recognized it immediately and understanding flooded him. Taking his time, Fili stroked inside Bofur steadily, whispering his love, until he didn't think he could stave off his own completion much longer. 

"Bo," Fili murmured, his voice tinged with desperation and warning.  
Reaching around to touch himself, Bofur whispered, "Aye, please."  
Fili nudged Bofur's hand away. "When you come, I want it to be inside me," he whispered.

A thrilling shiver traveling down his spine, Bofur reached up to cup Fili's neck instead, eyes trained on him through the whole of Fili's orgasm. He thought perhaps he might be imagining it, but the flood of their bond through Bofur's veins seemed particularly fulfilling. Fili had been so good to him, so thorough and affectionate, that in spite of his rather urgent erection, Bofur ignored it in favor of giving Fili all of his own back and more. As he slicked Fili wide with digit after digit, it occurred to him he had not given Fili a proper stretch in easily twice as long as it had been since they made love. Perhaps it _had_ been his own haste, his own signals, his own pleasure in using (and being used) by his beloved so roughly that created their issue in the first place. 

When Bofur drew back to slick himself, Fili traded their positions to straddle him. The ecstatic look on Bofur's face showed Fili he had made a welcome choice. He took Bofur in, little by little, until he sat against his hips. Their first round of lovemaking had been treasured, sweet even, but this round the passion took them both. Bofur held onto Fili's thighs, using his lover's own body to better penetrate him. Fili rose, fell, and undulated, too, feeling more and more overcome with every stroke. When Bofur's tongue broke loose with talk of filthy devotion, Fili found his own voice.

"If I've been too interested in the hard fuck, it is because of you," Fili panted. "Every pair of lips that touched my body before yours were a waste, each mouth on my cock nothing but tepid, weak echoes of what you had in store for me. How could I have known it could be so much more? You're the one who did this to me, you know. You taught me to scream like this, to talk, to _fuck_. I didn't know what it was like to have someone's tongue in my arse, to be fucked open the way you do. I've never known the inside of someone else's body held such amazements for me, nor how hard someone could make me come. How can I help but want you? How can I keep from showing you how much you excite me?"

Fili was already fully hard again, dripping and needy.

"Fee," Bofur moaned. "Oh, _fuck_ , my gorgeous Fee! Yes, all of that yes! I love all of it, and more. I need all of you--I need the arse and the tongue and the cock and the kisses and the desire. I need this, now, everything that has happened between us today in this bed, every bit as much as I need you to pound, shatter, and break me. I don't want any of it to stop, ever!"  
"Mahal, no, don't stop, don't dare stop," Fili gasped, stroking himself.  
"Fili, I love you," Bofur breathed.  
Closer now, Fili gasped, his voice brimming with emotion, "I love you too, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

A wail escaped Bofur as the pressure built deep within him, growing with every thrust. Fili babbled sounds, Bofur's name occasionally recognizable within them. Bofur's fingers dug into Fili's thighs at the same moment Fili shouted his name, both of them coming in near-perfect sync. Fili's hole fluttered around Bofur in time with his own luscious pulses. When the storm subsided, Fili fell forward with his face against Bofur's chest. Bofur eased out of him, feeling Fili's whole body convulse against his. When he felt it a second time, Bofur tipped up Fili's chin. Fili was sobbing.

"Fee, talk to me," Bofur begged, almost frantic with concern.  
"I'm fine, I swear," Fili rasped. "I somehow can't seem to help it. I'm feeling _so much_. I just--it really affected me this time."  
Bofur held Fili close, kissing a sweaty temple.  
"That was a one in a thousand shot, finishing at the same moment, neither a breath ahead or behind," Bofur agreed. "Might never happen again."  
"It wasn't just that. It's the way I feel inside. I had gotten so carried away with exploring our more licentious play, I'd not noticed anything lacking. I apologize, Bo. Today truly was different than it has been the past few. I didn't know I had been missing our more sensual aspects until you reminded me. Fuck, how you reminded me," Fili giggled at the end, attempting to dry his eyes.  
Bofur kissed his head again. "Don't misunderstand me, I beg of you. I want to fuck you barely stretched until the neighbors know my name, you best believe that! Do not be shy to ask me for your desires, ever. All I want is for us to remember how this started, to remember what it is like to physically manifest our love, too. I need the fire _and_ the emotion."  
Fili sniffed, wiping at his nose. "I need it too, clearly. My heart and body knew it better than my mind did. I was so overwhelmed that I'm a blubbery mess. Gods, how embarrassing this is."  
"I've been eating my heart out the past few days, and I must admit seeing you undone by our love this way is delightfully flattering. Please, do not be embarrassed."

They held each other for a long time, eventually rising to clean up and get dressed. Bofur glanced up at the bedposts. 

"I wonder if Kee and Bee have privately used any of the more special features of the bed yet," he wondered aloud.  
Fili shrugged. "I don't know. I'll have to ask Kee sometime."

*****

The rain did not let up, leading Bilbo and Kili to return to Bag End wet (and in Bilbo's case, grumpy). After shedding their wet clothes and climbing into a warm bath, Kili and Bilbo exhaled sighs of bliss.

"So, last night, Fee and all that...things seem pretty normal today," Bilbo ventured.  
"Yeah."  
"How was it?" Bilbo pressed.  
Kili huffed a laugh. "You were there."  
"You know as well as I do that observing is only part of it, not to mention I was a little busy myself."  
Kili shrugged.  
"You put your mouth on him, I saw," noted Bilbo.  
Kili's eyes snapped up to Bilbo's, searching.  
"That wasn't an accusation, you know," Bilbo said soothingly. "Doing that to him was well within what we've discussed. It was...you've said you didn't want that with anyone."  
"I didn't, until last night, and only him. It seemed, I don't know, somehow right that I should let him have that from me."  
"You're being cryptic. Is it because you can't put it into words or because you're not sure how it will sound when you say it?"  
Squinting an eye, Kili said, "It still amazes me how you can figure me out so easily."  
"So which is it?"  
"Like you, earlier, I fear you might think I'm a little mad if I say it out loud."  
Reasoned Bilbo, "So I would say my personal experience with the fanciful but true makes me an ideal candidate for such things. Out with it, come on."  
"Fili and I, when we were, ah, _together_ , I felt it under my skin, in my blood, similar to the way I do with you, only the thing that flared was something that has always been there, my whole life, just--just Fee, you know?"  
"And what about him? Did he feel it?"  
"Yes, though he didn't want to talk about it."  
"So what now? How do you--how do we--handle it?" Bilbo asked cautiously.  
"That's the thing. There's nothing to handle. It wasn't like when you and I fell in love and later bonded--that changed things for us because our soul-bond was chosen, forged anew by us through being in and making love. Whatever is inside Fee and me has always been there, imprinted from what I'm supposing was my birth. The way we will be is the way we always have been. Since we were dwarflings, people have remarked we were unique, even amongst other brothers. It is funny--it took us breaking the taboos of our people to discover we've already been soul-bonded our entire lives."

Bilbo considered this. He had never been threatened by Fili because Kili and Fili were a pair before him, and always would be one. What they had was special, and Bilbo couldn't explain why it didn't bother him even in his most jealous of moods, but it simply didn't. That was before Bilbo thought there could be a possibility of them fucking, though.

"What does this mean for bed?" Bilbo asked.  
"We have decided to limit our play when the four of us are together."  
Bilbo was surprised. "Limit it? I thought you'd be expanding it, in light of your epiphany."  
Kili kissed him. "We've decided we don't want bed-play to get in the way of us being brothers, which is more important to us than getting off--though we've agreed to still indulge sometimes."

Kili kissed him again, this time more insistently. Bilbo wasn't sure if he was more relieved or disappointed by Kili's answer.

*****

Bilbo felt better after the bath warmed his bones. Kili assured him he would feel better still after dinner, urging him to have a rest while he cooked. Fili, still feeling guilty about having unknowingly caused Bofur heartache for days, offered to help with dinner by making (Bofur's favorite) potatoes.

*****

With no current chores, Bilbo asked Bofur to take a pipe with him in the smoking room.

Once there, Bilbo admitted, "A smoke is nice on a rainy evening, but I honestly asked you back here so we may have words in private."  
"Hmm, sounds lucky for me if the words are good," Bofur said jovially.  
Bilbo granted him a small, tight smile, causing Bofur's grin to fade.  
Said Bofur, "Perhaps they aren't so good, after all."  
"It isn't that," Bilbo explained. "I've had you on my mind all day today, and on my heart as well."  
"So far I'm not complaining," Bofur said carefully.  
"Your reaction to my news this morning, to what you thought I was going to say..."  
Bofur rubbed a hand over his face. "Can we not speak of such embarrassments?"  
"You don't have to be embarrassed by that, and I'm afraid we must speak of it. _I_ must speak of it. It broke my heart to think your first reaction to me having difficult news was to assume I was done being your lover. I need to understand it. What made that such an easy leap in your mind?"  
Bofur chewed the inside of his cheek, shrugging and shaking his head.  
"Do you not understand? Do you not feel it when we touch? When we kiss?" Bilbo said, his words shaking with a hint of desperation. "How could I possibly end this between us when I love you so?"  
"I just--I don't know. A part of me sort of keeps...waiting."  
Asked Bilbo, "Waiting for what? For the end?"  
"Aye."  
"Do you want it to end?"  
Bofur gazed at Bilbo soulfully. "Never."  
"What am I going to have to do to prove my feelings? Prove your worth to me? You are so much more than my bedmate, Bo. "  
"Bee..."  
Bilbo sighed. "The two of us haven't had the same time to work through hurts and insecurities the way I have with Kee and Thorin. I know my ignorance of your love led to bruised feelings, and I'm seeing more and more that perhaps I've left scars as well."  
"You didn't know how I felt--or how strongly I felt--back then, and I don't hold those things against you because you didn't know, but I'm starting to think perhaps you are right about the scars. It took me a while to have faith in what I have with Fee, too, and that's even with him not making me wait to know how he felt." Bofur thought about the past few days with Fili. "I still don't always trust that as much as I should, either."  
"And he didn't make you wait the way I have," Bilbo added.  
"I didn't mean that," Bofur explained. "I simply mean that it seems too good, somehow, to have Fee, and to have you besides. My two best dreams have come true and I am in constant fear I am going to wake."  
His voice thick with emotion, Bilbo promised, "Even if Mahal had quintupled my life, I would still love you to the end of it."

With the pretense of being back there for a smoke now fully discarded, Bilbo flung his arms around Bofur and held him close. 

Even as Bofur hugged him back, his heart rejoicing at the beauty of Bilbo's words, a voice he had never heard before in a tiny corner of his mind whispered, " _But not how he loves them._ "

"Quiet," Bofur hissed back at it. "Let us have this."  
"Hmm?"  
"I said, um, 'I should let us have this,'" Bofur covered, not very artfully. "Without so much worry, I mean."  
"I understand your reticence, I do," Bilbo agreed. "But I know how I feel when you look at me, when we talk, and when I'm so gloriously in your arms. We're lucky enough to have Fee and Kee, who are incredibly understanding about what you and I have together. Please, release your worry and let us enjoy this."

Bofur embraced him tighter, cradling his head. Sighing happily, he opened his eyes, glancing around at nothing in particular as he relished the feeling of Bilbo in his arms. His gaze rested on Belladonna's Glory Box. 

" _Huh, wonder when Bilbo decided to move that in here_?" he wondered.

*****

In a stroke of incredible luck, Thorin's expedition found a large, abandoned barn to wait out the night's rain. It had no doors--nor indeed, half of one of the walls--but the roof protected the supplies and most of them were able to crowd in. At the opening avoiding the path of the wind, they risked a small fire for cooking and warmth, and the former hayloft still had a (mostly) trustworthy ladder to make the most of the covered space should the rain last deep into the night.

After dinner, Thorin and Bifur sat just in out of the rain and as close as possible to the fire, back to back, using what they could of the light while they wrote their letters. Dwalin eyed them up and down, muttering to himself. Used to be, when they traveled, that he would be the one unwinding the day with Thorin: hassling each other, making plans, and keeping spirits up over long distances. He silently cursed Thorin, Bilbo, and Kili for creating this tense situation in the first place. While he and Thorin managed to keep up civility in the wagon (and in front of Dís), their former easy companionship was anything but once the caravan stopped for the night. No, these days it seemed to be Bifur who Thorin gravitated toward once the evening meal was done.

Dwalin did not like it one bit.


	6. Points On The Map

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that the key, play-by-play, plotty smut has happened, this chapter is going to be a series of sequential vignettes.
> 
> Please note, I'm aware distances/travel time are not Tolkien-scholar exact.

Rorimac knocked on the door to Bag End. 

"Hello!" Bilbo greeted cheerfully. "What brings you 'round today?"  
"I was hoping I could trouble you for some information," Rorimac answered.  
"What sort of information? Would you like some tea?"  
"None for me, thank you. I wanted to know how long you anticipate it might take everyone to get to Rivendell?" Rorimac asked.  
"Oh, I don't know. It depends on how the road goes and all that, how many stops they make, and so on. Would you like to see one of my maps?"  
"Please!"

Bilbo showed Rorimac the map on the wall of the dining room. 

"Okay, so we are here," he said pointing. Moving his finger east, he said, "And they'll...be...there."  
Rorimac's eyes grew large. "Gracious, that's so far! That must take forever!"  
"Only a matter of a couple weeks, maybe longer. Maybe shorter, if Gandalf has found a better way. They have ponies and wagons, though there are more souls this time around than when we went...and no orc pack on their tails, one hopes."  
Rorimac shivered. "I hope not, too. So, if they sent letters from there, it might take well a month total for them to get here? Two weeks for them to get to Rivendell and two weeks for the letters sent there to get to us?"  
"Unless they can find another courier before they reach Rivendell at all, I'm afraid so, cousin."  
Doing figures under his breath, Rorimac said, "So there's no way I could get a letter back to Bifur before they moved on to the mountain, then."  
"Not if they aren't staying a while, which they won't be. They have to try and stay ahead of the weather," answered Bilbo.  
"Okay, so if Rivendell is here, where's Erebor again?"

Rorimac's heart sank as his eyes followed Bilbo's finger even further northeast. 

"That far, huh?" he said, dejected.  
Bilbo nodded sympathetically. "It is far, no doubt, and the road gets more dangerous and difficult past Rivendell. If it is letters straight to Erebor you are talking about, they could take a month, maybe two to reach their destination, depending on the chain of couriers who might be heading out that far in the winter."  
"Now that I see the distance, I understand better why the weather has been such a concern, then." He studied the map more closely. "So that's where Bifur lives, I suppose."  
"Only in the past year or so. Before that, he, Bofur, and Bofur's brother Bombur were living in Ered Luin."  
Distantly, occupied with other thoughts, Rorimac replied, "Yes, I remember that." 

Bofur regarded Rorimac kindly, seeing his initial elation at the thought of a written pre-courtship fade with the sobering reality of the time he will spend waiting for it to happen. He patted his arm. 

"It seems daunting, I know, but time will eventually pass and, before you know it, a letter will arrive," Bilbo said.  
Rorimac sighed, sounding resigned to this fate.

"Come on," Bilbo said, tugging on Rorimac's sleeve. "I've been teaching Fili pastries to go with his bread-making, and he has whipped up the most delightful scones."

A disappointed hobbit is still a hobbit, after all, so Rorimac followed Bilbo to the kitchen.

*****

Although he loved the company in his bed, after a few days, Bilbo realized some of his only private times with Kili were in the bath or when Fili and Bofur had something else specific to do, and there were days altogether (like today) when Kili wasn't bathing with him at all. Bilbo did enjoy fully stretching out for a long solitary soak, though, and used the time steeping to come up with a way to work out occasional nights where the couples slept separately without hurting anyone's feelings.

Drying off from his bath, he noticed the ink from his last night with Thorin and Kili had finally left his skin. He thought he wouldn't care when the ink finally wore away, but he found himself strangely sad. The loss of Thorin's name on his body was unexpectedly acute, as it carried its own comfort while they were separated. Bilbo huffed in mild annoyance with himself for being disappointed at all, remembering how hard he had scrubbed to try and get it off in the first place.

*****

Thorin's company was more than a week gone from Bag End and Fili and Bofur noted (as expected) the Shire had quieted considerably in its absence. Although they had Ori and their hobbit friends there for company during the day--not to mention some delightfully wicked nights with Bilbo and Kili--going from jam-packed days to calm, leisurely ones seemed too abrupt a transition. At tea that afternoon, Fili spoke to Bilbo and Kili.

"Bo and I have decided to make a trip to Ered Luin before winter descends," he said.  
Kili glanced up. "Why?"  
"The forges here are not suitable for the rings I want to make us, and I know the ones there will be. That is what started the conversation, but I also think a short trip might help with the restlessness I've been feeling since everyone left. I think we could make it there and back before the nights got too cold or the road grew too treacherous for journeying."  
"How long would you stay?" Bilbo asked.  
Fili shrugged. "Only a couple of days, I think--enough to do what we went there to do. If we stay too long, we might find the way home considerably more soggy and more frigid."

The table was quiet for a few moments. 

"Can we go with you?" Kili asked.  
Bofur replied, "I don't see why not."  
Bilbo set down his fork. "You want to go with them, Kee?"  
"I'd like to take you there, if you think you wouldn't mind a few nights on the road," Kili said animatedly. "I wanted to take you last time, truly. I want to show you where I lived, and show you off a little, too."  
"That's not a bad idea, Kee," Fili said. "Perhaps we can get a few more folks excited about going to Erebor when the weather warms, too."  
Bofur leaned back in his chair. "If it is going to be a few of us, why not see if Ori might want to go? He's been a little down since Nori and Dori left. I'm sure he'd like to show his old town off to Thodora and Chadham the way Kee wants to show it off to Bee."  
"Bo, you are a genius!" Fili exclaimed.  
"That's settled then," Bilbo said. "When were you thinking on leaving?"  
"We were considering tomorrow, which would have given us enough time to gather food for two of us. With more travelers, perhaps the day after?" Fili suggested.  
Nodding, Bilbo said, "I think that would be just fine. Kee and I will visit the market tomorrow morning."

After returning to the Shire, Bilbo thought he had experienced enough travel to suit him for months, thank you very much, but the thought of a trek to Ered Luin gave him a peculiar itch in his feet. Cold or not, he was looking forward to it.

*****

During one of the caravan's stops, Dís pulled Dwalin aside for a word.

"What's with you and Thorin?" she asked.  
Playing innocent, Dwalin replied, "What are you talking about?"  
"You two have seemed different since we left the Shire. You don't talk and laugh as much. You don't even pick on each other as much. What's going on?"  
Dwalin exhaled in irritation. "We're on the road, Dís. Do you know how bored with your brother I get with no one but him to talk to for hours on end?"  
"I've been on the road with you before and that seemed to be your favorite way to pass the time!"

Although Dwalin usually loved her shrewd nature, Dís was far too smart and observant for this current situation between him and Thorin. He had to think fast.

"First of all, the three of us have never undertaken a trip of this magnitude together, so of course it would seem different to you. Secondly, Thorin has quite a bit on his mind since leaving the Shire, both with what he has left behind as well as pondering what will need to be done when he gets back to our kingdom. Thirdly, and most importantly, you and I were not courting the last time we did this. Can you fault me so for wanting to spend my voice and my attentions on you?"  
Dís smiled sweetly. "You make some convincing arguments. Tell me more about that last one again?"  
Dwalin pulled her into an embrace. "Allow me to show you."

He kissed her, stamping out the guilt he was feeling with the rationalization that although he used the flattery to distract her, the statement was completely true.

*****

Bilbo, Fili, Kili, Bofur, Thodora, Chadham, and Ori gathered at the stables to purchase the use of ponies for their trip. Rorimac met them there, having nearly jumped out of his skin with excitement when he found out Bilbo was going to visit Bifur's former homeland. Bilbo had no heart and no need to to refuse him.

The road to Ered Luin was a surprisingly pleasant trip compared to many of those on Bilbo's former journey. Of course, it was quite the help that the weather was dry and not as cold as it truly should have been for October. They remained unbothered by creature, robber, or other mischief for the entire distance. 

Arriving at the inn, Bilbo, Fili, Bofur, and Kili took two rooms between them. Bofur had not originally loved Bilbo's idea of couples' nights (neither at home nor at these lodgings), but Fili whispered dirty things in his ear about how he had missed having him alone for three days on the road and managed to dispel most of Bofur's disappointment of sleeping--and _not_ sleeping--without a naked Bilbo in his bed that night. 

Rooms sorted and ponies boarded, the group of them visited the tavern to eat. The dwarves saw many folk they knew, introducing the hobbits around to make fast friends. Fili, Kili, and Bofur hadn't taken much leisure to carouse when they had been home to visit their Mam, but they made up for it this time. Several friends, in various stages of drunkeness, approached them to ask them how many of the Erebor legends they had been hearing were true. Never missing a chance to spread around a song, Bofur sang them the ballads he had written of the adventure. When he ran out of songs, they recounted events. Soon, they were surrounded by a crowd, whose eyes collectively widened with every new tale told. Some of them could not fathom a being such as Beorn existed. Others found the Eagles too much to believe--only to be quieted by someone else in the room who had a tale of his own to tell of their great eyries in the Misty Mountains. By night's end, Bofur had successfully recruited over half a dozen patrons to relocate to Erebor in the spring. Whether the patrons would remember their pledge in the morning remained to be seen.

*****

Gandalf had assured Thorin the evening's stop should be the last one before they reached Rivendell, counting on reaching it before sundown the following day. Thorin was glad of it, too, because in between him and Bifur was their very last pot of ink. Magnanimously, Thorin cut his writing short to let Bifur have what remained. Bifur grinned, clasping Thorin's forearm in gratitude.

Thorin darted off on his own to beat the dust out of his bedroll. Footfalls of a familiar gait crushed the scattered leaves several paces behind him, and Thorin was not surprised when their owner spoke.

"Hmfph," Dwalin snorted. "With how you feel about Bofur, I'm surprised you've chosen his cousin to be such a bosom companion."  
Thorin turned around, confused. "What?"  
"Bifur, your new best friend!" said Dwalin snippily.  
"My new best--? No, no. It isn't like that."  
Dwalin crossed his arms. "You both sit, back to back or side by side every night after dinner. Perhaps you should make him your head of royal security, since he has such a new-found care for your person."  
"We sit near because we're sharing ink," Thorin explained. "We hardly even talk! We're writing letters the whole time."  
Dwalin grumbled under his breath, fiddling with his vambrace.  
"Besides," Thorin said gently. "I already have a head of royal security, and I don't want a new best friend because I'm rather attached to my old one."  
Dwalin glanced up. "Is that right?" he asked, trying to sound gruff.  
Thorin put a hand on Dwalin's shoulder. "It is."  
"I was under the impression you two had fought over some fundamental differences."  
Shrugging, Thorin replied, "Doesn't mean I do not love him."  
Dwalin glanced around, flicking imaginary dirt from his arm. "Well, just because he disapproves of what you are up to probably doesn't mean he doesn't love you, either. Maybe all he wants is what is best for you."  
"Perhaps he might find a way to understand that I need to work that out on my own."  
Nodding almost imperceptibly, Dwalin met Thorin's eye and said, "Yeah, well there's no saving a fool from himself."  
Thorin laughed raucously. "That's what I hear."  
Dwalin smiled back.  
"So, are we...good?" Thorin asked.  
Hesitating a moment, Dwalin replied, "Aye, we're good."

Clasping the back of Dwalin's head, Thorin touched their foreheads together. They did not linger, but they separated both feeling lighter than they had for days.

*****

Bedding down for the evening, Thorin couldn't help but chuckle to himself when he thought of how bratty and jealous Dwalin had been, thinking Thorin was replacing him. Though Dwalin had been wrong about Thorin and Bifur becoming the best of friends during their nightly letter-writing, they had developed a quiet understanding of the other. Thorin thought Bifur likely suspected why Thorin was so committed to his letters--particularly if Bofur shared any confidences with him during their time in the Shire--and Thorin figured Bifur was writing his own missives of care to Bilbo's relation, Rorimac. Thorin wondered what was going on with them, and silently wished Bifur the best.

Wrapped in his blanket from Bag End, Thorin spent yet another night trying to find comfort on the hard ground. Tomorrow they would be sleeping in Rivendell. Thorin dreaded it as much as he anticipated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bofursunboundbraids over on Tumblr drew a cute little scene of Thorin & Bifur doing their letter writing.  
> http://bofursunboundbraids.tumblr.com/post/115077687202/finally-getting-caught-up-on-the-lovely


	7. Soul-Searching And Sight-Seeing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin, for both our traveling parties.

Bilbo and Kili had arrived in Ered Luin earlier that day feeling the desperation of lovers deprived, their road having left little privacy save a couple sneaked licks in the woods. Bilbo mused the other couples were probably in their same predicament. Had it been only Bofur and Fili with them, perhaps there would have been a (chilly) romp under the stars, but they had Ori, his hobbits, and Rorimac with them this time as well.

After the inn had been sorted, a meal had been a more pressing matter, then came the storytelling, and by the time they finally reached the privacy they had craved for the night, Kili and Bilbo were both lacking the energy for their planned, wild reclamation. Instead, they made love languidly, almost drowsily at times, waking fully at their climax and then crashing towards sleep in each other's arms--sticky but content.

*****

  
Around mid-morning, Gandalf put the elves at the lead of the caravan to navigate and galloped onward with the plan of reaching Rivendell slightly ahead of the rest to better prepare Elrond for the arrival of his temporary guests. The group arrived in Rivendell by early afternoon, with Elrond (and Gandalf) already out to welcome them.

Though it took a little prodding for Nîfon to leave Nori's side, he, Nerithel, and Daerbes greeted Lord Elrond first, being happily received in turn. They spoke briefly to Elrond in Sindarin before stepping back and allowing him to greet the other visitors. Gandalf looked to the group--and to Thorin--expectantly.

Thorin took a breath and squared his shoulders. He felt the weight of Dís's and Dwalin's gazes, knowing they were waiting to see how he would behave in order to set their example. Thorin's ancestral pride was great, but he knew what was right was right. Lord Elrond had proven he was not Thranduil, and even if they had been more similar, there was no denying the care with which he had housed and fed Thorin's most loved (and, Thorin begrudgingly admitted to himself, Thorin's own company, soon to be twice over). As much as he hated it, apologies were owed for the rudeness he had displayed the first time around.

With a deep incline of his head, Thorin intoned, "Lord Elrond, we thank you for your assistance and hospitality."  
"King Thorin, it is good indeed to see you alive and well! Imladris warmly offers the defenders of Erebor succor and shelter on your journey back to your kingdom."  
Nodding again, Thorin said, "We are happy for it, grateful indeed that the past behaviors of Erebor's king has not irreparably offended her allies."  
"The nature of dwarves was not wholly unknown to me when you last visited my valley," Elrond said with a small smile. "Nor was the grudge you bore in wake of past injustices."  
"I realize now they were not injustices wrought by the peoples of Imladris," said Thorin.  
Elrond smiled a bit wider at the use of the name. "Let us allow the past be the past. Since last we met, other ambassadors from Erebor have well-soothed any perceived slights. It is my honor to allow the kin and peoples of the Princes of Erebor into my lands. We will do the best we can to prepare you for the cold road ahead."  
This time, Thorin bowed more deeply. "Thank you, Lord Elrond."  
"The pleasure is mine, King Thorin."

Thorin could not deny how much it pleased him that Elrond used his official title without hesitation or condescension. Thorin introduced his sister, noting with amusement that she almost preened with how graciously Lord Elrond received her, using her title as well. Thorin also properly introduced the members of his former company, not having bothered the last time they were there. He was moved again to apologize, but Elrond wouldn't have it. Thorin nodded appreciatively.

With sincere reverence, Elrond greeted Beorn. "Gandalf has spoken of you in the most glowing terms, Master Beorn. Although I've gladly known those who were of your kin, somehow we have missed each other all these long years."  
Beorn bowed to Elrond solemnly. "Regrettably, as far as I am aware, I am all that is left of my kind until the day comes that I might make more. To hear you speak kindly of my departed does me good, though, and I believe we shall be well-met indeed."  
With a slight incline of his head, Elrond said, "Those who love the land and the lives it supports are always welcome in Imladris, Master Beorn. We are honored to have you in our home."

To everyone's surprise (except for the elves themselves), Elrond paused to meet each and every traveler, down to the last transplanting tradesman from Ered Luin. Only then did he turn to lead them to where they'd be sleeping. As they walked, Elrond took particular notice of Nori's adoring smiles for Nîfon and Bifur's joyful curiosity of everything on which his eyes landed.

 

*****

After a breakfast with all of their companions, Bofur took Fili, Kili, and Bilbo aside to speak.

"If it is all the same to you, I'm thinking I might offer to take some of the morning and show Rorimac around before I do the other errands we discussed, Fee," Bofur said. "We all have our dearest with us except for him, you know, and I considered perhaps I could give him a bit of Bifur's perspective on the town in his absence. I'm fairly sure Bifur having lived here is a large reason why Rorimac wanted to come along, anyway."  
Bilbo's face filled with pride. "Oh, that is so kind of you!" he gushed, pulling him into a hug.  
Still being clutched by Bilbo, Bofur glanced over to Fili. "Would you mind?"  
"Not at all. I think that is a thoughtful, lovely idea." Fili grabbed Bofur for his own embrace, adding a kiss. "Bifur would be glad for it, I'll bet."  
Kili added, "I'd planned to take Bilbo around to do much the same today. Fee can come with us, and then afterwards we can scout ahead and make some deals with the blacksmith." 

Bofur hated to miss out on showing Bilbo around Ered Luin, pausing for a moment to decide if perhaps that might not be a more enjoyable use of his time, but chose to stick with his original plan. Bifur would have wanted someone looking after Rorimac, and if Rorimac was going to make a go of trying to court Bifur, it would do him good to know more about where Bifur came from--especially if Bifur was going to continue to be stubborn about Rorimac not knowing enough about who he was to allow a courtship in the first place.

"Sounds good. I'll come find you when I'm done at ol' Deig's," Bofur said.  
Bilbo asked, "Deig? Who is that?"  
"He's a tattooist. He's who did my legs. I'm having a little more added to it while I'm here. After all, who knows when we'll get back, or if Erebor will get one of her own as talented as he is!"  
"Oh. Huh," Bilbo said.

*****

Bofur approached Rorimac to ask him if he would like his special tour of their surroundings. Delighted and surprised, Rorimac accepted and the pair struck out on their own. Bofur took him here and there, showing him where Bifur used to work and live and telling tale after tale all along their way. On their own for elevensies, Bofur made sure they went to one of his and Bifur's old favorite haunts for a bite to eat. He might have pointed out to Rorimac what Bifur's favorite dishes were.

"I hope this isn't weird, me wandering around Bifur's old stomping grounds, snacking on his favorite food," Rorimac said.  
"No, no--it was my idea, not yours. Really, you've been very respectful of not trying to pry into Bifur's private business. I simply figured as long as we were here, it might be interesting for you to glean a little more of where he's from and what he's about."  
"I appreciate it, I do. You've been very kind to me."  
"I've noticed you've not asked me what he was like before his injury."  
Rorimac shrugged. "It doesn't matter as much to me as who he is now, though I will confess the thought of him going through something that painful has kept me up some nights."  
"For several days after he woke and realization set in, he had a hard time of it," Bofur explained. "The emotional pain, the frustration of something that life-changing...well, it got on top of him, you know? But our Bifur, being who he is, decided to just get on with living the best way he knew how. His outlook was remarkable."  
"I think positivity might run in the family," Rorimac noted with a smile.  
Bofur weighed his next sentence carefully. "He had been courting someone before the battle," he said quietly.  
This Rorimac did not know. "Oh?"  
"Aye, but not for long after the battle, if you follow me. It seems Bifur's injury was too much to expect a lover to handle."  
"Was Bifur terribly brokenhearted?"  
"It was not a betrothal that was broken, at least, but you can imagine the shock of being injured so and having to deal with your sweetheart leaving you at the same time."  
Rorimac nodded sadly.  
Continuing, Bofur explained, "Bifur mourned the loss of a companion, I'm sure, but not so much the actual person. He said if someone could walk away, that told him all he needed to know about how their life together would have gone. He said it was a favor, in the long run."  
"It was a favor to me, no doubt."  
Bofur smiled kindly. "I haven't seen him as happy as he was those few days with you in years upon years, probably not even when he was courting. Maybe that's another reason why I wanted to take you around today and show you some things."  
"I don't have the words to tell you how much I appreciate it, Bofur. Really."

*****

Elrond himself showed Thorin, Dís, Dwalin, Dori, Óin, Bifur, and Beorn to their accommodations personally. Lindir took over for the rest, and Nîfon took Nori to show him his home for the first time. Before departing, Lord Elrond said a meal was being prepared for the doubtlessly hungry travelers, but informed them they still had time for a short rest or a wash before it would be ready.

Thorin's room was fine--very fine indeed. So fine, he wondered if this might not have been the very room given to Bilbo and Kili on the occasion of their engagement. He noted a tub sunken into the floor and the sight of it gave him tangible tingles along his skin. A bath! Merciful Mahal, what a joy that was going to be!

Foregoing a nap in favor of a long, fragrant soak, Thorin glanced around his chambers, noting the beautiful furniture and the private balcony. He knew Elrond likely did not have rooms this fine for all of their number and probably afforded Thorin such luxury in deference to his title. He wondered if Dís and Dwalin (given a single room) had a chamber as opulent. If not, Thorin thought he might trade them. It did not seem right for him to hoard such a space all to himself when a loving couple could have it, though the thought made him miss Bilbo even more desperately.

While Thorin was thrilled to have clean hair again, it also regrettably meant re-plaiting his courting braid after the wash. He had hated to take out the braid Bilbo wove with his own two hands, but he had to admit it was looking rough after a couple weeks' growth and abuse on the road. Once it was set again, he squeezed at the rest of his hair with a towel.

Unknowingly timing her arrival almost perfectly with Thorin having dressed, Dís tapped at the door.

"Are you decent yet?" she asked.  
"Come in."

Dís noted aloud her room was grand, but not as grand as Thorin's. She squealed like a young lass when Thorin offered her a trade, and although it pleased Thorin to see the happy flush in her cheeks, he had no doubt it would please Dwalin twice as much. As the two of them moved on to commiserating about the pleasure of Rivendell's unparallelled hot water bathing system, something seemed to catch Dís's attention. She reached into his hair and Thorin realized a second too late what she must have seen.

Rolling the braid between her fingertips, she asked, "What's this bead you wear? I haven't noticed it before."  
"It is nothing," Thorin said quickly, cursing himself for forgetting to tuck it away as he had been.  
"You wear a braid plaited with a unique bead I've not once seen and you tell me it is nothing?"

Thorin stood but did not reply. Dís leaned forward, studying it closer.

"'B,'" she read. "Mahal, Thorin! Please tell me that does not stand for 'Baggins!' How are you ever going to get past this if you still insist on wearing his clasp?"  
"No, 'B' stands for Bloody Beard!" he said, annoyed. "As, in, 'Durin's Bloody Beard, I wish my sister had better things to do than mind my tadger!'"  
"Ugh, do you have to be so crass?"  
"I wouldn't have to be if any other way I've suggested would have gotten my point across."  
"But Kili-"  
"-I've told you, Kili's marriage is not in trouble," Thorin insisted. "Do you really need to know anything else, Princess Busybody?"  
"Is it such a terrible crime I've committed, being worried about you? I know what it is like, losing your Chosen."  
Thorin's heated annoyance faded immediately. "I...I know you do."  
Softly, Dís said, "I'll always love and miss him, and for a long time I thought I'd never love again, but I have a second chance to be happy in the years I have left. You could have one, too."  
Thorin shook his head. "It is different for you."  
"Thorin-"  
"Please--just, please. I know you worry, and I know for a while there I was not myself, but this is not a matter that is up for discussion between us, not right now. When it is time to talk about it, I swear I will come to you."

Dís looked up at him mournfully. He lowered his forehead to hers. When he spoke again, his voice was gentle.

"I appreciate what you are trying to do, and I love you, Dís."  
"I love you too."  
"But please don't waste your energy fretting over me, I beg you."  
Dís sighed. "I'll do my best."

*****

Though strained relations between dwarrows and elves predated the coming of Smaug to Erebor, Bifur didn't hold much of a direct grudge.  In fact, until they were captured in Mirkwood, he generally disliked elves in the way one would dislike someone who had disrespected one's kin:  protectively indignant, but with no animosity on his own behalf.

Bifur rather liked Rivendell the first time they were there, though he did not admit as much to anyone other than Bofur or Bilbo for a long, long while. After hearing Bofur talk about how well they had been treated when they passed through, and with Bifur's own fondness of Nerithel, Daerbes, and Nîfon that came from spending time with them in the Shire, he had been happily anticipating this second visit. With even Thorin acquiescing to the idea of Lord Elrond being more worthy than he once gave him credit, this time BIfur did not feel a need to quell his enthusiasm.

" _What do you think of this view of the Valley, Master Bifur_?" Lord Elrond said.  
Astonished, Bifur looked up at him. " _You can understand me_?"  
" _I'm sure it would pain some of your kin to know it, but I can_."  
" _I didn't mean to be rude, I was simply surprised. I like the view quite a lot, particularly the flow of the dwellings into the trees, dips, and rocks. I find myself drawn to the craftsmanship--it is quite exquisite. It happens that I'm a person who makes things, too._ "  
" _Are you? I know a place where we can have a better view, if you'd like to see it. Perhaps on the way you can tell me about your craft_."

Elrond led him up, up, up to the council chambers while Bifur talked happily about creating toys and art from nothing but a pure block of wood, bends of metal, or slabs of stone. It was obvious to Elrond that Bifur appreciated a new soul to talk to in a way they would both understand. The only thing that paused him on his tear of chatter was the view when they reached their destination.

" _This is breathtaking_!" Bifur breathed.  
Elrond smiled. " _Somehow, I knew you would appreciate it_."  
They stood in contented silence for several moments before Bifur spoke again. " _I notice you've had manners enough to avoid asking me about my injury_."  
" _It is your story to tell to whom you wish. I wouldn't presume_."  
Bifur chuckled. " _Do be careful. I almost fell in love with last person who was so polite and accepting of it_."

Elrond noticed the softening look in Bifur's eyes and thought perhaps there was no "almost" about it.

Asked Bifur, " _Would you like to know how I happened to wind up like this_?"  
" _If you would lend me the honor_."

Bifur took a deep breath and told Elrond about as much of the day of the battle as he could remember, along with its aftermath, but he didn't stop there. Somehow, he found himself pouring his heart out to this near-stranger--and an elf lord, no less--about his frustrations and isolation in the years that followed. He talked of how he longed for deeper connections with those who could not understand the only way he could speak. Indeed, he was curious about peoples and traditions other than his own, but had a tendency to frighten potential new friends away with his grunting exuberance...and the axe sticking out of his head. This made him all the more appreciative of Bilbo, Rorimac, Beorn, Nîfon, Daerbes, and Nerithel for their unflinching, non-judgemental attempts to bridge the gap of both communication and culture. Even so, he told Elrond how frustrating it was not to be able to have more meaningful words with them unless he had a quill each and every time he had a thought. He spoke longingly of wishing for long, involved conversations after dinner over a pipe with _all_ of his friends, not just the dwarrows.

" _I'm sorry. I do go on, don't I? I usually only talk to Bofur about the deeper matters, and I have not seen him for days past and will not for many more to come. I got so excited having someone who could actually understand me that I quite forgot I was bending the ear of someone so esteemed_."  
" _Overblown would be the esteem if I was the sort who turned away a friend in need, Master Bifur. Your story is unique to me, and for as much as you've confessed it affects you, you do not let it show. You have my respect as well as my ear again, whenever you should want it_."  
Bifur gazed longingly out onto the valley. " _I doubt we will stay long enough for me to forget myself again, but I thank you_."

When silence spanned between them again, Elrond patted Bifur's shoulder and left him to his view.

*****

  


Kili and Fili spent some time with Bilbo, showing him around the town. It pleasantly reminded Bilbo of the first tour they took in Lake Town. They pointed out the favored locations of their youths as well as places they loved once they were grown. They took turns telling Bilbo stories about each other--and about Thorin. Kili in particular made an effort to tenderly point out landmarks of Thorin's milestones for Bilbo, too.

Outside Thorin's former home, Fili begged off to inspect the forge, asking Kili to join him there when he was done. He knew they would not have asked for privacy, but he was moved to give it to them all the same.

Kili obtained permission to enter the dwelling. He found it nearly unchanged since Thorin had lived there and told Bilbo as much. Bilbo walked from room to room, taking everything in. He felt grounded in a way, and somehow closer to Thorin despite the distance. Standing in the space Thorin called home before Bilbo's name was known to him gave him gooseflesh.

Kili watched Bilbo but said little, allowing Bilbo and Thorin to have their moment (though Thorin was not present to know they were having one). When Bilbo was done, he silently gave Kili a kiss in thanks. They left for the blacksmith's to meet up with Fili.

*****

  


After a meal and a meeting, Thorin was free to stroll the grounds. Somehow, as unlikely as it would seem, the valley seemed warmer than the lands that had surrounded it on their journey. There was a crispness in the air to signal autumn was in full swing, but the bite and discomfort that Thorin felt in the wagon the day before was not there. He remembered Bilbo saying Rivendell felt magical to him. At the time, he scoffed--more out of pride than any knowledge--but he was starting to believe.

In the distance, he saw Dís and Dwalin walking over a footbridge, hand in hand. He smiled to himself. Dís was without a partner for many years and although Thorin did his best to stand in to help her with her children, he knew it wasn't the same. Still, Fili and Kili kept her busy for decades. With them grown and moving on, Thorin was glad she allowed herself to seek love again. There were some old-guard, rigid traditionalists who might find Dís courting a second mate to be radically disrespectful to her first, expecting her to mourn him to her own deathbed, but Thorin would be ready to squash any dissension if it should bubble up. If Dwalin made Dís happy, then she deserved to be such. Mahal knew Dwalin had waited long enough for her to take notice, silent and duteous, never once trying to push his feelings onto her. Dwalin had been far more courteous than Thorin himself had been with Bilbo.

Breathing the fresh air deeply, Thorin conjured Bilbo in his mind. Though he had not left well enough alone with Bilbo and Kili, somehow--against logic--it all managed to work itself out. True, it was not to the letter of Thorin's dreams, but he carried Bilbo's heart and his promise wherever he walked these days and that was worth the living with the rest. Thorin gazed into the patterned mists of a waterfall, thinking of what it would be like to be here with Bilbo now.

A young voice interrupted Thorin's thoughts.

"Excuse me, but are you Thorin, formerly Oakenshield, now King Under The Mountain?"

Thorin turned to see a boy, about his own height, looking to be at the end of his childhood years.

Thorin nodded ceremoniously. "You are well-spoken, young master. Would I be correct in assuming your name is Estel?"  
The boy's eyes widened. "You know who I am?"  
"Quite right. I read some of your epic verse in the home of Bilbo Baggins."  
"You tease me," Estel said suspiciously, but smiling.  
"I would not dare! In fact, he has it hanging in a place of honor in his study."  
Growing visibly more excited, Estel replied, "That is how I know you, too, through Bilbo, Bofur, Fili, and Kili."  
"They speak very highly of you, Master Estel."  
"You as well," Estel replied politely.

They stood there silently regarding each other while Estel fidgeted with the hem of his tunic. Estel was the next one to speak.

"Did you _really_ fight a battle with nothing more than an oak branch for a shield?"  
Thorin grinned widely at Estel's curiosity, a gentle hand between his shoulder blades encouraging the lad to walk with him.  
"The day is too fair for a tale that dark," he said, "but let me tell you about when your friends Kili, Fili, Bofur, and I all quite literally fell into Goblin Town and had to fight our way out."

*****

  


Not wanting to hang around the forge with the brothers, Bilbo had taken his leave and struck out on his own. He found himself retracing his earlier steps, revisiting some of the places Kili showed him on Thorin's behalf. He tried to imagine Thorin there as an exiled prince, working tirelessly, making his way, and quietly planning the largest undertaking of his life.

Bilbo suddenly felt the pang of Thorin's absence return as sharply as the day he left. How would he endure until he saw him again?

*****

  


Rorimac ran into Bilbo on the path back to the inn.

"Where's Bofur?" Bilbo asked.  
"He is having a tattoo seen to, or something like it. I left around the time the proprietor asked him to remove his trousers," Rorimac replied, blushing.  
Bilbo laughed. "Is that so?"  
"They were behind a screen, of course, but still, it wasn't quite seemly."  
Bilbo nodded, losing himself to his thoughts for a moment. "Could you point me toward the building?"

Rorimac shot him an odd look, but gave him directions.

Parting ways, Bilbo went back to the forge to let Kili know where he could be found.

*****

  


Though Rorimac left Bofur at the tattooist's on his own accord, Bofur had been glad for the privacy, unsure what secrets Bilbo had shared with his cousin. He thought perhaps it might have been for the best that Rorimac hadn't been around when Bofur asked to have runes for Bilbo's and Fili's names added to his artwork. Kili's name was being added, too, incorporated into the design that indicated Bofur's family. Fili and Bilbo, however, were afforded places of honor in an altogether different illustration on the other leg.

Distracting himself from the discomfort while the work was being done, he made small talk with his usual artist, Deig, and Llawr, formerly Deig's apprentice. Deig informed Bofur that, since Bofur had left for the expedition for Erebor, Llawr had been promoted to tattooist after decades of study. Although Bofur wanted Deig alone to commemorate Fili and Bilbo on his thigh, he told Llawr he would be honored to bear his work as well, asking him to personally add Kili to his inked family tree.

Llawr had only just begun his share of the work when--to Bofur's great surprise--they heard Bilbo's voice in the shop. Bofur called him over, indicating to Llawr that it would be allowable for Bilbo to join their privacy.

"Is everything okay with you and the lads?" Bofur asked.  
Bilbo glanced down at the blood on Bofur's leg, quickly looking away. "Oh, yes. Quite."  
Bofur waited for an explanation that did not come.  
"So you're here...why, exactly?" he asked. "Not that I am complaining, mind."

Bilbo's head bobbed, eyes looking upward and throat closing in a hard swallow. Did he have the nerve?

"I've come for the same reason you have. It seems I have the need of some dwarvish ink," Bilbo said.  
Stunned, Bofur replied, "Cor! Never thought I'd see the day!"  
"Stop squirming, please," Llawr cautioned.

Bofur called Deig over, introducing his new customer simply as Bilbo Baggins. He figured Bilbo's name would surely have preceded him there, particularly considering the whole of the Blue Mountains by now knew of The Fourteen's trip to Erebor and that mountain's subsequent reclamation. Bofur didn't notice Deig giving no indication he had heard the name before, instead launching into a glowing recommendation of the shop to Bilbo. As luck would have it, Deig himself had time to fill Bilbo's requests, though he frowned when Bilbo asked for runes.

"I don't know," he said, scratching at his beard. "It usually isn't done, tattooing outsiders with-"  
"Oh, come on, Deig!" Bofur interrupted. "This is _Bilbo_. He lives and breathes dwarrows, as a matter of record."  
Begrudgingly, Deig said, "Well, alright, but only because you're speaking on his behalf. It stays between the four of us that he received these here. I could lose business if word gets out I put runes on Shirefolk."

Bilbo thanked him graciously and gave him the names he wanted on his skin. Bofur nearly came out of his chair when he heard his name on the list.

"I told you, you must stop squirming," Llawr said, this time far more strictly.

Bofur sat with fat, heartfelt tears welling in his eyes. What was Bilbo _doing_? It took all his will not to sweep Bilbo into his arms. He would ask his questions (and bestow deep kisses) later, with neither needles in their skin nor Deig and Llawr for an audience.

Bilbo knew obtaining ink would hurt, but not quite how much. His eyes watered on their own and his wrists stung as Deig plied his craft, but Bilbo gritted his teeth and bore it, too busy attempting to distract himself in his mind to bother with the usual "getting to know you" patter he could hear Bofur engaging in. Bilbo reasoned the pain would be worth it when he was done.

After what seemed like days, Deig treated and carefully bandaged both of Bilbo's newly inked wrists as he explained how best to care for them until they healed.

Llawr was finished and bandaging Bofur's tattoos, too, when Bilbo spoke up.

"I would like one more," Bilbo said, his voice a little thinner from strain than it had been when he arrived.  
Deig shot him a look. "Don't you think you might let these heal first, lad? Two wrists seems like enough for your first time, particularly given your loss of color."  
"I don't know when I'll be coming back, for one, and for another, I need to do it now before the nerve leaves me. I have coin."  
"Very well," Deig replied. "But no fainting!"  
"Oh, I wouldn't dream of it," Bilbo promised, hoping he wasn't lying.  
"Where and what shall it be?" asked Deig.

Bilbo remembered how much Kili and Thorin loved signing off their claim on his lower back, just above his bum, and although he was not about to have the phrase "Property of The House Of Durin" tattooed on his body for the ages, he had come up with a slightly more tasteful way to combine both claims in a way he was sure would delight his lovers.

"I would like it here," Bilbo said, indicating the center of his bottom-most lower back. "And I would like-"

Bilbo pulled out Thorin's dagger (having carried it on his person when he ventured outside the Shire, as he had promised), and pointed to the primary sigil signifying the House of Durin.

"-I would like that," he said.  
Instantly, Deig bristled and his tone grew harsh. "Now see here, dwarvish runes are one thing but that is another thing altogether! I'm not about to tattoo the likes of a hobbit with symbols of sacred royalty!"  
"But-" Bilbo argued.  
"-But nothing. I don't know how it is for Shirefolk, but we don't take that sort of thing lightly around here!"

Bilbo and the artist had only just begun their argument (with Bofur having joined in) when Fili and Kili walked through the door.

"What is going on?" Kili asked, eyeing Bilbo's bandaged wrists with curiosity. "What has you all agitated so?"

Deig bowed shallowly. Though he had known Kili and Fili for years--it was he who had first pierced them, after all--he was of the (formerly) small group that had always afforded them the respect of their titles, even when the claim of Erebor was nothing more than a steely flash in Thorin's eyes. Fili would sort this out quickly, he was sure. He just hoped the hobbit wouldn't get in over his head. Deig had found him rather polite and likeable, if a bit meek. He'd have hated to see him on the poor side of Fili's temper in the old days, to say nothing of what Fili must be like now, having come fully into his birthright.

"He refuses to give me the tattoo I want," Bilbo said.  
"What are you trying to get?" Fili asked.

Bilbo showed him the sigil on the dagger. Fili glanced up at the tattoo artist, who was looking incredibly smug.

"Obviously, the hobbit does not realize what he is asking," Deig said in a conspiratorially condescending tone.

Inside his lips, Fili ran his tongue over his teeth as he schooled his temper and chose his words.

"Am I not the Crown Prince?" Fili asked.  
Furrowing his brow in confusion and cutting his eyes to Kili, Deig said, "Yes, of course you are."  
"Then how dare you speak to my brother so?" demanded Fili.  
"Brother? Him?" Deig asked incredulously. "This _hobbit_ is your brother?"  
Fili proclaimed, "This hobbit, as you say, is Prince Bilbo of Erebor, husband to my brother Prince Kili. He is also one of The Fourteen and is so favored by our king that he has been named fourth in line to the very throne of Erebor. The document to prove it should be sitting in the Master's office at this moment, as Thorin had it sent out to all the dwarf kingdoms on the occasion of Bilbo's wedding. If my word is not assurance enough, I will fetch it, but I will also exact some of your blood as the honor price for having to do so."  
Eyes now wide in shock and terror, Deig held his hands up and insisted, "No! That won't be necessary! I didn't realize...I didn't know this hobbit was _the_ hobbit! Please accept my apologies, all of you, and understand I meant no offense."  
"Then tattoo whatever it is Prince Bilbo wishes," Fili said. "In truth, he has more right to wear it than you have to draw it."  
"Yes, your highness," Deig said.

Kili didn't like the idea of someone who had been recently threatened putting a needle to Bilbo's skin. To prevent poor work or additional pain, Kili tossed in his own addendum.

"Should your work please me, I will pay triple the price," Kili said. "But should the needle slip, or the work appear poor, I will take this pretty little dagger and give you one of my own."  
To his credit, Deig met Kili's eye. "And you would have the right, but I assure there will be no need."  
Satisfied, Kili nodded decisively.

*****

  


By the time night fell, Bilbo had his tattoos and a new piercing in his earlobe (for Fili so he wouldn't have to symbolically share Bofur's, Bilbo had said--the grin of pride on Fili's face making the sting worthwhile). Bofur left with his new ink, too, and both Kili and Fili had their last remaining nipples pierced for good measure.

Meeting up with Ori, Chadham, Thodora, and Rorimac for dinner, they were barraged with questions from them all. Bilbo played coy about what his tattoos were for the time being, but that didn't stop the flow of chatter and other queries. The hobbits were shocked to the core that Bilbo had gotten dwarvishly tattooed, Chadham was particularly scandalized by an obvious ring through Bilbo's ear, and Ori wanted to know how they were going to manage to travel and sleep on the ground with their new, self-inflicted wounds.

"Oh, I hadn't quite thought of sleeping at all," Bilbo said, frowning. "I was a bit clouded by sentiment to ponder the predicament that tattoos on my back and wrists would pose, and the worries of caring for open wounds on the road had not once occurred to me."  
"We will not have far to go," Bofur said reassuringly. "Although I have no doubt you will have difficulty getting comfortable for sleep, we'll take special care to make sure nothing aggravates on our road home. It isn't that many nights to get back to the Shire."

Worries soothed, Bilbo turned his attention to the hobbits, asking them how their days were. Thodora and Chadham answered him, each talking over the other in the rush of their excitement. Ori chimed in here and there, as he had been the one guiding them around his former home. Bilbo grinned, shaking his head in affection. He wondered if more hobbits might feel this way about lands outside of the Shire if they had not been raised to distrust the rest of the world so much. Then again, he reminded himself a great portion of the world was dangerous and inhabited by the unusually tall--unlike the dwarrows of Ered Luin, themselves a bit closer to hobbit-sized.

His eyes landed on Rorimac, who hadn't said much about his day at all. Indeed, he seemed content to let Thodora, Chadham, and Ori speak their fill. He simply sat there, his eyes on his companions but the mind behind them obviously somewhere else. Rorimac wore a peculiar little smile on his lips.

*****

  


Bofur and Fili stayed behind with Kili and Bilbo after the others retired to bed, lingering outside the door to their room, seemingly unwilling to go to their own.

"So, what did you have put on your wrists?" Fili finally asked, unable to wait any longer.  
Bilbo put his hands on his hips. "Is that what all this milling around and hinting has been about? I thought you were trying to get an invitation to bed!"  
"Well, I doubt we'd turn that down, to be true, but I didn't figure with your new wounds that bed partners would be welcome," Fili said.  
Remarked Kili, "I'm not sure how welcome _I'm_ going to be!"  
Bilbo agreed, "Sleeping arrangements for two seem as though they might be a pickle, never mind anything more rigorous."  
Kili began planning it out. "I think probably if you were to lay on your side-"  
"-Hey, no changing the subject!" interjected Fili. "Tell us."  
"It is time to care for them, so how about I show you?" Bilbo said.

Kili had not known Bilbo was going to get tattoos today at all, much less what they were of, and the curiosity had been killing him. He was going to ask when they were alone, but Fili's inquisitiveness seemed to match his own. He thought it was odd Bofur wasn't pestering Bilbo, too, but figured Bofur might have seen them at the tattooist's already. Funny he hadn't told Fili, though.

Though presently a bit red around the edges, the dwarves each sucked in a gasp of wonder and surprise when they beheld their names, artfully and elegantly drawn into the skin on Bilbo's wrists in the form of dwarven runes: Bofur and Fili on one wrist, Kili and Thorin on the other.

"Oh, my jewel," Kili whispered, kissing his cheek.  
Bofur pressed his lips together tightly, feeling loving tears threatening.  
Looking up in astonishment, Fili whispered, "What made you do this?"  
Bilbo smiled bashfully. "I know I swore oath after oath that there would be no more holes and certainly no tattoos, and I thought I meant it at the time. Still, you all responded so favorably to my play ink--to say nothing of Thorin's reaction--and when it finally faded, I found I missed it terribly myself. It comforted me, carrying Thorin's name with me in his absence, and moreover, it seemed to carry Thorin's name alone would only be telling part of our story. Today, after spending time in the places that meant the most to him and to you, I started thinking of it again. I carry all four of you with me wherever I go--whether it be in friendship, kinship, or love--and I wanted to honor what you've all meant to me in a way that also honors your culture. It seemed only fitting that I would consent to be etched."  
"And what of the other one?" Kili asked, an impish grin on his face, already thinking of the games they could play with the one on Bilbo's back.  
Bilbo did not miss the gleam in Kili's eyes. "That is your claim, my love, in a way it will never wash off. I was not born with Durin's blood, so I bled instead. What was it you said to me, Fee? I had bewitched the line of Durin? Well, the house has bewitched me in return and I shall wear its symbol until my end."  
"What terrible luck that such arousing adornments will also be what has to hold us at bay," Fili said. "That is, unless we can come up with a compromise?"  
Bilbo shook his head sadly. "Not until I'm less tender. Kili wasn't far off when he guessed we'd have trouble just ourselves tonight."  
"Perhaps a small peck, then?" Fili said flirtatiously.

Fili took Bilbo's mouth in a tantalizingly hungry kiss. Bilbo had nearly decided to throw caution to the wind and invite them to bed anyway when Fili's hands got too close to his lower back--right around the same time he went to put an arm of his own around Fili and brushed his wrist. He jumped with a painful start and decided, as they originally had surmised, tonight was _not_ a good four-to-a-bed night. Fili stepped aside to allow Bofur to say his good-nights.

Bilbo looked up into Bofur's face, trying to figure out the meaning of his expression.

"You've been awfully quiet," Bilbo noted.  
Bofur swallowed and his voice was rough when he spoke. "I-I haven't known what to say. What you've done, what it means to me..."  
"Bo," Bilbo whispered.

Carefully, Bofur slipped his hand into Bilbo's hair. He pressed his lips to Bilbo's, tenderly at first but soon parting for the slick of Bilbo's tongue. Bofur kissed back with all his love and longing for Bilbo to taste. When their kiss faded, Bofur gingerly embraced his breathless lover, careful to avoid his lower back, wrists, or newly pierced ear.

Into his other ear, he whispered, "I promise I will find better words to express how I feel about this when next we are alone."

Lightheaded and stone-hard, Bilbo watched the pair close the door behind them.

*****

  


The room Thorin received in his exchange with Dís was still lovely and grand. It, too, had its own water closet and bathing area, seemingly conjoined with someone else's quarters on the other side. He still had a private balcony, though a bit smaller, and a luxurious sitting area with a hearth seemingly carved into the wall. He sat on the wide, voluminous bed, bouncing to assess the comfort. It was so soft and fluffy, he imagined sleeping in it would be like resting on a cloud. Setting aside dwarvish pride, he crawled under it, poking and prodding between layers, trying to extrapolate how it was made. How wonderful it would be if he could welcome his family back to Erebor in the spring with cloud-beds in their quarters!

When he was ready to turn in for the night, Thorin marveled twice over again at how comfortable the bed was. So much so, in fact, that it was his last thought until elvish singing and birds woke him up at dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think we'll earn that Magical Realism tag a little for the tattooing practices/time involved/subsequent after care in the lands of Middle Earth.


	8. Forged And Indelible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur unwrapped the other thigh, caring for it as he did the first before presenting it to Fili. It was Fili's name, in Deig's inimitably elegant rune-style, flanking the left of another piece Deig had done for Bofur when he came of age, the one Fili knew as Bofur's most prized tattoo.

Fili knew Bofur had planned tattoos incorporating himself, Kili, and Bilbo, but he hadn't seen them yet. Fili had not gotten to the shop until after they were wrapped and they stayed clothed from that point on. In their room for the night and feeling the fuzzy, affectionate pride from being part of Bilbo's own work, Fili awaited Bofur's reveal. After cleaning and caring for it, Bofur showed him Kili's addition first.

"You've--you've put him next to Bifur and Bombur!" Fili gasped.  
Replied Bofur, "I told you I was going to add him to family."  
"But right next to them! They mean the world to you!"  
Bofur took Fili's hand. "And so does he. We've been through so much together that even if you and I were not to marry, I would consider Kee my kin by now. You being who you are to me, and him being who he is to you, made it all the more appropriate, I think."  
"He's going to cry, you know. _I'm_ about to cry, to be honest. That's so special, truly."  
Bofur kissed Fili's forehead. "Don't you want to see yours?"  
Fili grinned uncontrollably. "Of course I want to see it! I can't believe you didn't show it to me first!" 

Bofur unwrapped the other thigh, caring for it as he did the first before presenting it to Fili. It was Fili's name, in Deig's inimitably elegant rune-style, flanking the left of another piece Deig had done for Bofur when he came of age, the one Fili knew as Bofur's most prized tattoo.

As Fili suspected, his eyes grew wet with tears.  
"Bo," he whispered, still grinning. "I knew I would be moved, but nothing like this. I'm having trouble finding words. Suddenly, merely piercing my other nipple for you seems woefully inadequate and I-"

Fili's smile faded with the hitch in his thought process as his eyes swept across Bofur's thigh. Bilbo's name flanked the right of Bofur's favorite tattoo, in an equal position of honor to Fili's.

"What?" Bofur said, glancing down.  
"I-I found Bee's name," Fili replied, markedly unenthused.  
"I told you ahead of time I was going to commemorate all three of you," Bofur said gently.  
Fili licked his lips, nodding absently.  
"I know you did. I mean, of course you did. I don't know where else I thought he'd be, to tell you the truth..." he trailed off, not quite sure how to explain it wasn't the ink itself, but the placement that had jarred him so.  
"But it bothers you, seeing it, doesn't it?"  
"No, not really," Fili said hesitantly.  
Bofur fixed him with a skeptical eye. "Fee, now is probably a poor time for us to have this conversation, all things considered. I can't really take it back."  
Fili exhaled, his shock beginning to wane. "I don't want you to take it back, and more to the point, _you_ don't want to take it back, either, or you wouldn't have done it in the first place. Besides, how could you get my name and Kee's name and leave him out--especially after Bee went through the ordeal of including us in his own tribute?"  
"The last thing I wanted was to upset you," Bofur said, taking Fili into his arms.  
"Good thing I'm not upset, then. Well, I'm a little upset--upset that my name on your thigh is yet too tender to trace and kiss. I plan to worship it every day."  
Smiling in relief, Bofur flirted, "Perhaps we could work out some other manner of blessing for the night, then?"

*****

Deig sat in the tavern, nursing a beer and thinking to himself. He should've realized it earlier and saved himself the trouble--what hobbit would have wanted the name of Durin's heirs (and Bofur's besides) on his skin if not THE hobbit from the journey to retake Erebor? Deig had spent so many years schooling himself not to ask _why_ anyone wanted what they wanted that he had been more concerned with the chosen form than he had been the content. _Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ he chided himself. Still, how was he to know? That little scrap of a Shireling, growing pale at the first prick of pain and almost swooning at the sight of his own blood...how would Deig have supposed he-- _HE_ \--was one of the Fourteen? And not just one of the Fourteen, but the brave hobbit who was said to have twice jumped in front of Azog the Pale to save King Thorin?

Having been a royalist his whole life, Deig had been planning to lease Llawr the shop and move to Erebor in the summer. He had only delayed to give Erebor time to become populated enough to be able to support his trade. Having once envisioned his past association with Fili and Kili possibly yielding him a royal endorsement for his shingle once he arrived, Deig hoped he hadn't offended the princes terribly much, or in any way beyond repair.

*****

Fili and Bofur had a lone, wingback chair in their room. When they first saw it, they shared a good laugh at how out of place it seemed in a spare, simple sleeping room. However, they certainly weren't laughing now.

Fili sat in the chair, naked. Bofur crouched astride him and faced outward, holding the sides of the chair-back to help steady him as he rose and fell on Fili's cock. Fili supported Bofur with his hands against his sides, as careful not to grip his thighs as Bofur was not to rub into Fili's new piercing.

After several moments, Bofur paused and disappointedly rasped, "I can't anymore, Fee. My muscles are burning."  
"Here, ease your feet down and sit in my lap. I'll hold you," Fili said.  
"But your ring?"  
Fili helped Bofur get into position. "It'll be fine. I'll move my hips, not my chest."

There was an initial sting when Bofur leaned against Fili, but Fili ignored it and wrapped both his arms around Bofur's middle.

"Relax the rest of the way, Bo."  
"I can't--it is too deep for all my weight."  
Fili canted his hips back and supported Bofur's upper body with his grip. "What about now?"  
Bofur exhaled a happy moan. "Nicer, much nicer."

Holding Bofur close, Fili slowly rocked in and out of him, especially careful not to go too hard with all of Bofur's weight in his lap. Though his own thighs felt the strain and his nipple ring stung, Fili did not stop. He ran his fingers into Bofur's loose hair, tightening to pull him back for a kiss. Bofur stretched to reach him, groaning delightedly. Seeming to understand Fili wouldn't be able to stroke him off and keep from hurting him at the same time, Bofur closed his hand around his cock and pumped.

"That's it," Fili whispered, encouraging him.

Fili's ribbons of pain blended with pleasure, staving him off _just enough_ to not finish ahead of Bofur. When he was sure Bofur had gotten his, Fili chased his own rapture, moaning into Bofur's shoulder when it had been caught.

Easing up off Fili, Bofur stumbled toward the bed. With weak legs and a happy heart, he flopped onto his back with a huff when he reached it. 

Fili snatched a flannel out of his road sack to clean them both up before joining him. Scooting down to admire his name inked into Bofur's flesh again, Fili found himself far less bothered by the placement of Bilbo's name in the wake of such an intense, romantic coupling with his lover. He caressed the air above Bofur's thigh.

"I'm still amazed you did this, Bo. No matter where my body is, I'll travel wherever you go always."  
Bofur stroked Fili's hair. "You say that as though we've never had sex. Our bond is always with us too, you know, much deeper than even the ink."  
"I know, I know. It is just...special, yeah? You're right, though. We'd be in some trouble if it was exactly on par with a deeply romantic, love making sort of love, what with Bilbo inking our names as well."  
"Aye," Bofur agreed, absent-minded and growing drowsy. In another beat, Fili's words reached the thinking part of his brain. "Wait, what do you mean?"  
Yawning, Fili said, "Nothing, only that the love that moved Bilbo to put me on his wrist was far more brotherly--a different level of devotion than what prompted you to add my name to your thigh, clearly."  
Bofur considered this.  
"Right," he said dully.

Fili propped himself up on an arm to look at Bofur's face, which did not look as happy or as relaxed as when Fili joined him on the bed.

"I'm sure the love that moved him to tattoo your name was less familial than mine," Fili remarked, hoping to backtrack enough to chase away Bofur's frown. "I didn't mean to insinuate-"  
"It's fine, Fee," Bofur said, suddenly and fully unwilling to continue discussing the matter.  
"But-"  
"-It's _fine_."  
Fili nudged up to look at Bofur's face. "It doesn't seem fine. I really wasn't trying to-"

Bofur put his hand gently to Fili's mouth to shush him before sliding it up his jaw and urging him down for a kiss. He far preferred to cap off this pleasant night with continued tenderness and joy instead of the vague turmoil that had started to threaten in his middle.

When they parted, Bofur said affectionately, "Come on, Your Highness. Let's actually get into the bed."  
Fili smiled sheepishly as they made moves to get under the covers. "Did I make an arse of myself pulling that Crown Prince business?"  
"Not at all!" assured Bofur. "I found it unexpectedly and exceedingly attractive. I'll bet Bilbo did, too, considering it was his honor you were defending."  
"Really?"  
"Absolutely, though I must say I almost feel sorry for poor ol' Deig," Bofur chuckled, adjusting as comfortably as he could on the bed. "He honestly must not have known who Bilbo was at all. I introduced him by name and not by title, so I should own up to a bit of it being my fault."  
"I'll go around before we leave and let him know there are no lingering bad feelings on our part," Fili said. "Especially not after the beautiful work he did for the two of you."  
"And us, Fee," Bofur said, reaching over to squeeze Fili's hand.  
Fili squeezed back. "Us."

*****

Even after Kili artfully found a way to get him off without pain, Bilbo could not relax enough to sleep. If one thing didn't hurt, another did. _This is why hobbits do not go in for this nonsense_ , the Baggins part of him grumbled in his mind. He huffed out an annoyed sigh and a gentle hand reached out to soothingly stroke his thigh. Bilbo smiled in spite of himself. The Took inside reminded him that the delight on the dwarrows faces this evening--and the joy that would doubtless be on Thorin's when next they met--was worth a few days' discomfort. As with his other piercings (his nipples only just now starting to properly heal), he told himself he certainly had sustained worse injuries in his life with less to show afterwards than this.

Kili shifted--obviously with great care not to irritate his hurts--and Bilbo smiled again. Kili wouldn't even let him dampen the candle until the last possible second, delicately cradling Bilbo's hand to gaze upon the tattoo below it one last time. Kili's continuing, awed reaction to seeing his name against the pale of Bilbo's wrist had honestly been worth it all.

A certain stillness and happier thoughts pulled Bilbo closer to the comfort necessary to drowse. Thoughts of Bofur languidly rolled through his mind. When Bilbo had been standing next to him in the shop, he had looked away quickly when he noticed blood on Llawr's hands. Afterward, Bilbo busied himself with tattoos of his own. By the time both Bofur's legs were bandaged, it had been too late for Bilbo to sneak a solid peek. Fading towards sleep, he idly wondered what Bofur's new tattoos were.

*****

Nori and Nîfon sought out Elrond with a special request for Nori to be permitted to stay the winter in Imladris--as Nîfon's personal guest, it so happened. Elrond had been wondering how serious the two of them were with this flirtation, unusual as it was. They each took turns eloquently asking his leave for Nori to stay, all the while sneaking sweet glances at each other and tendering affection--Nori lovingly patting Nîfon's hand and Nîfon laying a calming palm on Nori's nervous knee. In those few moments, Elrond saw everything he needed to know. He gave his permission with no hesitation.

Before they left, Elrond asked them to tell him more of Bifur. Nori and Nîfon had naught but high praise for him, Nori specifically noting how Bifur had pulled him out of more than his fair share of scrapes with no regard for himself. Though fiercely reckless and wild in battle, they also told of a more curious, gentle, and considerate side to Bifur. There was also a brief mention of a hobbit back in the Shire, but a glance from Nori stilled Nîfon's tongue on the subject. Some things just weren't to be talked about behind a battle brother's back. 

Elrond thanked them for their candor and again graciously welcomed Nori to Imladris.

*****

"Did you find the gems you were seeking yesterday while on your rounds with Rorimac?" Fili asked Bofur, dressing down for a sweaty afternoon at the forge.  
"Aye, I did, and I hope you will agree. If not, I can always find another use for them."

Bofur produced two small clear but vivid blue sapphires. He handed them to Fili.

"These are beautiful," Fili said, moving closer to the window to examine their fire in the light. "Truly, quite a find! I fretted you might not find anything here to suit us but these are perfect."  
Bofur came up behind him, slipping an arm around his waist. "I wondered about that, too, but the worry was unfounded. Everything they presented was so lovely, I honestly wondered how I was going to choose. When I saw these, the first thing I thought of was the color of your eyes. I knew at once they were the ones."  
Modestly, Fili softly replied, "You know my eyes aren't this blue."  
"So _you_ say," Bofur murmured, leaning in to steal a kiss.

*****

Bilbo struck out with Kili, Rorimac, Ori, Thodora, and Chadham for another day of adventuring around Kili's and Ori's former home. Oddly enough, it was Rorimac who seemed to be the most enthusiastic about making the most of their day, nearly wearing them all out by lunch. There was something about being out and about that brought Rorimac to life in a way Bilbo hadn't seen since Thorin's group had left the Shire. Indeed, even prior to meeting Bifur, Bilbo was unsure he had ever seen such shine in Rorimac's face. Travel certainly agreed with him--his cousin's Took nature was blooming within him like one of Betty Butterbottom's prize giant roses.

*****

Bofur grew fidgety, waiting for Fili to finish forging their betrothal rings. There wasn't much to do but wait, and when he waited, his mind wandered.

It had been days since he had been to bed with both of his lovers, and longer still since he had been alone with Bilbo without the bother of clothes. Fili was not leaving him unsatisfied--particularly not since their discussion about intimacy--but Bofur missed Bilbo. Here he had waited so long for permission to touch, and even still there seemed to be conditions.

More frustrating was the issue of Bilbo's tattoo. Bofur needed to speak with him privately, ask what getting that tattoo really meant to Bilbo, express how it made him feel, then get undressed and _show_ him how it made him feel. He also wanted to reveal his own ink to Bilbo and study the reaction. Bofur had already played it through his mind a dozen times, imagining everything from indifference to complete adoration. In his most private fantasy, Bilbo would press his lips to Bofur's ear and make a confession that filled Bofur's cock with the mere thought of it. 

Exhaling completely, Bofur crossed his arms, thinking about how he at least he had that glorious kiss from last night to help tide him over. It might be days before he could get a few moments alone with Bilbo again. 

Bofur was still enjoying this visit to Ered Luin, however, reveling in what it meant for him and Fili. In fact, he started to feel a little guilty, sitting here sighing and pining over Bilbo when his own beautiful intended was crafting the very rings that would symbolize their impending union.

*****

After casually seeking him for the better part of the morning (and being distracted by various orders of business), Elrond finally spotted Bifur. The dwarf had found a rabbit and was hand feeding it bits of something green he had doubtless coaxed out of one of the chefs in the kitchens. Elrond watched him fondly for a moment as Bifur fed, stroked, and murmured to the creature who had no fear of him whatsoever.

"Master Bifur, I crave a word with you."

*****

Fili had called in a few favors and arranged a lovely dinner alone for himself and Bofur, put together by some of the finest chefs to be found in Ered Luin. Afterwards, they took a pleasant (if chilly) walk to Bofur's favorite thinking spot--up a path and out of the way, along an outcropping that overlooked the mountainside. It was a clear night, and the moon shone brightly in the sky. Long ago, Bofur had carved a detailed observation bench there out of an old stump, and that is where they sat.

"Now seems to be as good a time as any, don't you think?" Fili asked.  
Unexpectedly nervous, Bofur replied, "It isn't as though it is a surprise, right?"  
"No, which is a bit of a shame in itself. Still, I wanted your input so that you would get exactly what you wanted. I'd say that was worthwhile."

Fili pulled two rings from his pocket. Taking Bofur's right hand, he pressed one into his palm and closed it in for the time being. Caressing his left, Fili gazed into his eyes. His voice carried a slight tremor when he spoke.

"You already have my heart and my mark. Tonight, I share my formal intent to give you my title and--more importantly--my life."  
Bofur smiled affectionately. "You sound as nervous as I feel."  
Fili chuckled. "I suppose I am, even though we've sort of done this already."  
"But not like this."  
"No," Fili murmured. "Not quite like this."  
"I accept, Fee."

Fili slipped the ring on Bofur's finger, breath skipping as it settled. The ring was made of gold, halfway to Bofur's knuckle, with Fili's personal sigil crafted into one side of the band and a special symbol of Bofur's design on the other. Nestled in the middle, in a secure but nearly invisible setting, was one of the sapphires Bofur had selected. It glinted in the moonlight; Bofur mused it almost looked happy to be around his finger, as though it knew where it belonged. Taking Fili's left hand, Bofur readied his ring's twin.

Meeting Fili's glance, Bofur merely said, "Marry me, Fee."  
Moving in its simplicity, Bofur's request brought tears to Fili's eyes. His lip quivered as he responded, "Yes."

Once he slid the ring on Fili's hand, Bofur was seized in a tight embrace. 

Holding Fili close, Bofur jested, "You seem more moved than you were that day in our smial. Have I mistakenly assumed we've been engaged this whole time?" 

"I'm not sure why I'm such a mess," Fili blubbered. "I don't know if I ever expected to get married before I met you, wasn't sure how much I even cared, and you came along and changed everything. You have no idea how long I've desired to marry you, even though it scared me--gods, and I've been so scared!"  
"I know you have, my golden one," Bofur soothed, feeling terrible now for having made his joke.  
Fili sniffled and pulled in another breath. "But I've not been scared because I doubted us. I knew this was what was right for me, even if the political implications had me less than thrilled. I've been so happy to be your betrothed, and for you to be mine, Bo. I promise you I have."  
"I know, and so have I."  
"Making and exchanging our rings--you putting mine on me, especially--it has suddenly made this seem very real, even more real than before." Fili sniffed again, leaning back to rub at his eyes. "Between your tattoo and our rings, I'm feeling quite overwhelmed again. I swear, I've never wept so much in all my life as I have since I've fallen for you, but the majority has been happy weeping, I assure you."  
Cradling Fili's face and thumbing away an errant tear, Bofur said, "It is quite alright. As much as your love regularly moves me to tears, I'm frankly shocked I didn't follow you over the edge this time around." 

Fili hummed a giggle and Bofur tugged him forward, claiming his mouth passionately. The two of them kissed for several minutes on Bofur's bench in the moonlight, all lips, tongues, and roaming hands.

When they breathlessly separated, Fili said, "I want to get married, Bo."  
Bofur leaned his forehead against Fili's, taking his ring hand and swiping a finger over the new jewelry there.  
With a grin of amusement, he said, "Aye, we've established that."  
"No, I mean before we go to Erebor. I want to get married when we go back to the Shire."  
Astonished, Bofur pulled back to take in Fili's full expression. "You--you're sure? That soon?"  
Excitedly, Fili explained, "Just like Bilbo and Thorin said--we can do it in secret and no one has to know until we say so. We'll do the big to-do in Erebor when the time is right politically, but in the meantime we can do it just for us."  
"Fee-"  
"-And we'll file the paperwork in Michel Delving, should it become necessary to reveal the particulars later on."

Bofur felt as though he couldn't get enough air. An odd squeak escaped him. 

"D-don't you want to?" Fili asked, his excitement faltering.

Bofur pulled him into an emphatic hug. "I want to! Bless me, how I want to!"

Relieved, Fili sighed into Bofur's shoulder. When Bofur made another strange sound, Fili leaned back to examine him. Bofur practically lit up the night sky with the happiness beaming across his face. 

Weeping joyfully, Bofur joked, "Looks like you managed to get those tears out of me tonight, after all."

*****

Not used to leisure time on the road, Thorin had enjoyed his second day in Rivendell far more than he would have anticipated. After a truly refreshing night of sleep, he met new people, took a few key meetings, spent more time with Estel (whom he liked rather a lot, truth be told), tasted new foods, and enjoyed the company of his own traveling companions. He was sure the needs of their group had to be straining Elrond's resources, but not a cross word had been said--though that Lindir fellow always looked a sight more flustered than his fellow elves.

The elves--Elrond, really--insisted upon a plan to load their transports practically to brimming with fresh supplies as well as things intended to keep for the longer road. Thorin noted Dori in particular had been rather pleased to find out that Elrond's people knew of lembas, too, as he apparently had developed a taste for it after the battle. It also pleased Thorin how Nerithel took care to teach Dís her special, elvish trick for encouraging wet wood to light--a skill that had already proven useful on their road and one they surely would have missed their elf companions for later on. He wondered what sort of wisdom Elrond had been imparting to Bifur, having taken him aside at least twice that Thorin saw for conversation.

Nori approached Thorin after dinner, without Nîfon close by for the first time in days. Thorin had been expecting it--sooner, in fact--and was not surprised at all to hear Nori would be waiting out the winter with his sweetheart in Rivendell. He thanked Nori for giving him the courtesy, though he let him know there had been no need for such formality. While there was a time Thorin would have been horrified to learn one of his own people would consent to consort with an elf, now he only wished him well. Nîfon had repeatedly proven to be a good sort, and anyone who could capture and hold Nori's fascination was a special soul indeed. Thorin made a point to Nori beyond doubt that Nîfon would be welcome in Erebor if Nori had a notion to join the caravan in the Spring.

Elrond offered to have letters sent with a scout heading West after tomorrow's early breakfast, prompting Thorin to finish his current missive to Bilbo before bed. Though it would be a long time yet before Thorin could hope to see anything in return from him, he smiled when he envisioned how happy Bilbo would be to receive such abundant word. Thorin had amassed quite an impressive pile of papers to send back to the Shire, indeed.

To his most recent writings, he added--

_Lord Elrond was kind enough to grant me a room, though we are too great in number to have full, complete, and separate accommodation for our count of heads. However, a group of his out on patrol had emptied their part of the barracks and made way for everyone from Ered Luin to at least have a bed. Oh, these beds! Mine has only made me miss you more. Though last night I slept nearly the moment my head touched the pillow, thoughts about tumbling you unrelentingly danced through my mind when I woke this morning. Honestly, I did not want to bother getting out of bed._

_I envy Kili as much as I ever have, knowing he had you here. At a point earlier in the evening, despair found me. I had been sitting on a terrace and watching the moon glow through the mist of the mighty waterfall, thinking of how my earlier prejudice cost me marrying you sooner and exploring this beautiful valley with you._

_(Aye, I can admit now it is truly beautiful, elvish or not. I am not past my full grudge against elves, nor will I ever look upon Thranduil with friendship in my heart, but I will admit Lord Elrond and his people are not those in Mirkwood who would have denied us aid or done us harm.)_

_As quickly as I had been saddened, a deep breath and a different memory ushered in happier thoughts. Perhaps I did not marry you in time to share your first true exploration of this valley, but marry you I did. Perhaps we might visit Rivendell together one day. You can show me your favorite nooks, sing me your favorite elvish songs, and we'll make love in one of these glorious beds._

_I miss you every day and night, only stopping for sleep where I can see you in my dreams. Sometimes I like to imagine we're meeting for real, entertaining some sort of ethereal nighttime visit brought on by the fervency of our mutual longing. Occasionally, I fancy perhaps you might even wake up in Bag End still feeling my kiss on your lips._

_It is time now to let these letters go and allow them to make their way to you. Rest assured, I will continue writing as often as chance allows. Please know how eagerly I look forward to holding your own words of love in my hands._

_I have loved you always and I love you still._

_Yours,  
Thorin _

*****

Bifur sighed, glancing up at the moon. He took some comfort that it was the same one shining down on Rorimac.

Letters were going out in the morning, and it seemed possible that the company might be setting forth not long after. With another, heavier sigh, Bifur took out a fresh sheet and began to write.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special wink towards Richard Armitage for the inspiration behind "Betty Butterbottom."


	9. A Mile In Your Boots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Thorin's vast surprise, he caught himself thinking on the road out of Rivendell that it was a shame they had to leave so soon. He shook his head as though it would dislodge such a wild notion. _I blame Bilbo,_ he thought to himself...though he thought it with a smile and not a scowl.

The next morning was unexpectedly chilly, and it had Bilbo worried about their return trip home. Though Kili would have liked to stay a little longer--he still had so much he could show Bilbo--he agreed to leaving the next day if the rest of their group was amenable.

Kili approached Fili to ask him when he and Bofur would be ready to go; Fili said leaving soon was fine by them. They had done what they originally came to do, namely making their rings and having another small adventure to distract them from the departure of their friends and family. Truthfully, the restlessness that helped push Fili toward Ered Luin was considerably ameliorated by his impending marriage. Whether it was the matter of having something else to plan or whether, deep down, it was the root of his anxiousness all along, the thought of returning to the Shire to prepare a wedding was a balm to Fili's spirit.

*****

Fili and Bofur gathered all their companions together after breakfast, ushering them into their room for their private announcement to ensure it wouldn't be overheard by any they did not trust.

"We have decided to marry twice," Fili announced. "One wedding, private in the Shire, and the other, the state affair in Erebor to appease tradition...and Balin."  
Kili smiled. "That is glad news!"  
Fili continued, "The wedding in the Shire will be very small, only between those of us in this room, the Thain, and possibly only a handful more. Though I'm sure Bo will want to tell Bifur and Bombur, it is otherwise to be a secret amongst the rest of our friends and folk. Can we count on you to keep it close until such time that we are ready to reveal it to Erebor?"

Their friends agreed. 

Reiterating, Fili said, "Truly, please, as it might be many months, or possibly years. There is the possibility of our public marriage forcing me back to Erebor, and although upon speaking to Thorin it seems to be less than I originally feared, I would not want to risk the life I'm coming to love in the Shire."

Murmurs of agreement spread through the room again. 

Bofur took over speaking. "Good, and thank you. We knew we could count on you, our friends, and," for the briefest second, Bofur's glance landed on Rorimac, "our family. Now comes the rest of the news--we wish to be wed before we make our spring trip."  
"Oh! So it is to be quick, then!" Ori said.  
"Yes, by Yule season if we can manage it."  
"Oh, we can manage it!" Kili said cheerfully. "Right Bilbo?"  
Mostly quiet until now, Bilbo glanced between Fili and Bofur. "Yes, quite right, though it might be a bit cold for the Party Tree."  
Fili clasped Bofur's hand. "Where we do it is not so important as actually doing it."  
"Agreed!" Kili chirped.

*****

With every day bringing winter rapidly closer, it was time for Thorin's company to depart Rivendell. They gave their thanks to Lord Elrond and his folk for their hospitality, leaving the valley resupplied well above promise.

To Thorin's vast surprise, he caught himself thinking on the road out of Rivendell that it was a shame they had to leave so soon. He shook his head as though it would dislodge such a wild notion. _I blame Bilbo,_ he thought to himself...though he thought it with a smile and not a scowl. Indeed, although they left with fewer dwarves than they numbered at their arrival, Thorin was going back to Erebor with more elves than what had left the Shire. Unable to suss it out on his own (and unwilling to take the time to explain it by trial and error to a dwarven artisan who had not slept in one before) Thorin had sought and hired a small team of craftspeople to help him recreate Rivendell's glorious beds. They did leave behind their friends, however, as Nerithel and Nifon's specialty laid more in metals than textiles. Before Bilbo, Thorin would have sooner fellated a goblin than commission elvish furniture for his guest rooms.

The thought of Bilbo filled Thorin with yearning and warmth. The hobbit who once had never set foot outside the Shire had managed to broaden Thorin's world view beyond reckoning and he couldn't wait to share it with him once again. At the very least, the prior night was not the last Thorin would spend in Rivendell--of that much he was sure.

*****

Kili took Bilbo around for more introductions before they left. Fili had told Bilbo what a social creature Kili was, and he had not been untruthful. However, Bilbo's definition of "friend" and a dwarf's might have been a bit different. His blood was frequently angried up in the presence of some of Kili's old so-called friends, some of whom were shocked that Kili managed to get anyone to look twice at him--much less a hero like Bilbo. Bilbo was quick to remind them that Kili was quite the hero, too, and a prince besides. Though Bilbo loved the look of pride and adoration on Kili's face when Bilbo spoke up for him, it pained Bilbo that so many of these people were the sorts Kili had been spending his time with before the journey.

Still, Kili's new self-confidence (a result of both Bilbo's love and the compliment from Yavanna) left him unfazed. Bilbo showered him with affection and praise after these visits all the same, but Kili did not seem the least bit wounded.

*****

On their first break after leaving the valley, Dori glanced back at the road behind them. It seemed strange, being on his own without Ori and Nori. Though he had spent a fair amount of time with one and not the other, it had been many years since he found himself without either. He would miss his brothers, but they had lives to lead, and so did he. He glanced fondly over at Óin. Yes, he had more to do with his days (and nights) besides fussing over Ori and Nori.

"Hobbits and elves for in-laws," he quietly muttered to no one in particular. "Never would have guessed it, myself."

A kind hand reached out and rubbed his shoulder. As unlikely as such a thing would be, it seemed as though Óin had heard him. 

"You know, no one would ever figure how strong and vicious you are with the way you dote on those lads," Óin said.  
Dori sighed. "They have others to dote on them, now. It is time for me to focus my attention elsewhere."  
"Or," Óin ventured, "Perhaps it is time someone doted on _you_."

*****

Bofur was anxious--so, so anxious--to spend a few moments alone with Bilbo, but the opportunity did not show itself that evening. After Ori and the hobbits left them in the tavern for the night, Kili cajoled the barkeep into selling them a couple bottles to take back. Kili, Fili, Bilbo, and Bofur gathered in Kili's room and worked to empty them, getting pleasantly warm and tipsy in the process.

"So, Bee...is it still okay with you if I marry your lover?" Fili asked playfully, nudging at Bofur.  
Airily, Bilbo replied, "To be fair, I knew the two of you were going to marry when I sucked Bo off the first time."  
"And you were married yourself," Kili pointed out helpfully.  
"Right!" Bilbo said. "Besides, it so happens my mouth sometimes waters for the tongue and prick of Bo's groom-to-be. You shall both be made adulterous whores in my bed."  
He held his drink aloft and nodded, as though he had just made a toast.  
With a mischievous glint in his eye, Fili countered, "Ah, but we've established that _you're_ the whore, haven't we?"  
"So we have, so we have," Bilbo conceded, draining his tankard.

Bofur sat, dumbfounded, listening to them talk as if he was not there. It was casual and flirtatious, but hearing it spelled out so plainly made his blood warm with shame--and fiery lust. 

"Will we, ah, will we get a chance to explore our wicked ways with you tonight?" Bofur ventured.  
Shaking his head, Bilbo said, "Sadly, I'm still in no condition for that."  
Fili scoffed, "Filthy tease."  
"You would know," Bilbo joked.  
"Oh well, Bo," Fili said. "I guess it is just you and me tonight. Damn all the luck."  
"There are many who wish their whole lives for luck as poor as mine," Bofur quipped.  
"Just as well," Bilbo said, ahead of a hiccup. "Leaving out tomorrow means the next time we share pleasure, we'll be home, I'll be better healed, and we'll have a much larger bed in which to do it."  
"And no Ori down the hall to overhear," Kili added.  
Fili chimed in, "Or hobbits!"

Bofur smiled gamely, but the realization that it would yet be days before he could climb into bed with Bilbo was an unkind one.

*****

After breakfast the next morning, at Fili's and Bofur's urgings, Ori reluctantly purchased weapons for Thodora and Chadham to practice their fighting over the weeks ahead. Their road to Erebor in the spring would be perhaps safer than Ori's first time around, but with no guarantee they would be free of peril. Ori had to agree that if he was going to take his loves on such a journey, it would be wise to prepare them better for it.

Chadham chose a slingshot. Not only did it mirror Ori's own weapon of choice, but it was a good one for a hobbit's eye/hand coordination. Also, though Chadham had never used a slingshot against a breathing foe, he had fondly played with them often in his youth and felt far more comfortable with one of those in his hand than he did something like a sword.

Thodora chose two daggers--one traditional and the other a little more insidious. The second was of a push variety, with a guard curved inward on both sides and no actual hilt. It was an item easily concealed even when drawn, and the cunning of Thodora choosing such a stealthily violent weapon unnerved and aroused Ori all at once. 

Bofur picked up a new weapon as well, though dwarrows arming themselves before a journey wasn't unheard of. Bofur packed it with the rest of their belongings, not pausing to show it off. 

Bilbo, Kili, and Fili already carried considerable weapons, thus not purchasing anything additional. Bilbo thought Bofur had had a rather fine weapon from their prior travels, too, but he didn't know enough about dwarven weaponry to question it. 

Readied for the road, they set out toward home.

*****

Rorimac turned frequently, watching Ered Luin grow further and further away. He had joined the others on this trip to get a loose feel for Bifur's old home, merely hoping to have a look around and breathe his former air. Thanks to the kindness of Bofur, he was gifted the opportunity to view it with Bifur's eyes and to hear stories of his life there. Now, instead of the expected lonely pining, Rorimac's longing was joined by a renewed hope. He could scarcely wait to receive that first letter.

Bilbo also took several glances behind. There had been something sacred about being where Thorin had lived and worked for decades, meeting more people who knew him, hearing their recollections, and simply experiencing the place Thorin had called home while he planned to reclaim his old one. Emotionally, Bilbo felt closer to Thorin than ever, though he knew the physical distance between them grew by the day. He wondered if Thorin would imagine Bilbo's experiences when he reached Rivendell as Bilbo had envisioned Thorin's in Ered Luin. Shaking his head, he chided himself for being a fanciful and sentimental hobbit. Allowing himself a final look back, he turned forward to face the road ahead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much!


	10. Friendship, Kinship, And Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a bridge chapter. Letters are due to arrive in the Shire soon...

The road back to The Shire had proven uneventful and chilly. Though he was glad for the absence of disturbance, the lack of warmth vexed Bilbo for the duration. It probably would not have been as irritating for him had he not chosen to get tattooed and pierced--getting both comfortable _and_ warm turned out to be a mutual impossibility. When they returned to Bag End, Bilbo saw to the fire before he even bothered with food. 

A bath was next on his list, with a proper cleaning and home treatment for his new, tender decorations. He was warned to avoid soaks for the next couple weeks, but he managed to freshen up and warm his bones. At least his nipple piercings had grown tougher--that was one happy favor! 

Ori, Thodora, and Chadham politely declined their invitation to that evening's dinner. Bilbo had a feeling they were probably eager to go off privately, and he could hardly blame them. His last orgasm--indeed, his last skin-to-skin contact with Kili--had been back in Ered Luin. For his part, the only things keeping Bilbo chaste through dinner were his need to fill his stomach and Rorimac having joined them to eat.

*****

After they ate, Bofur walked Rorimac back to his lodgings. With him, he carried his wrapped weapon from Ered Luin. Rorimac thought it was a bit overkill for strolling through Hobbiton, but did not say anything. He did not want to cause offense, especially after Bofur had been so nice to him.

At Rorimac's door, Bofur nervously said, "Um, I hope I haven't over-stepped. I didn't want to hand this over in front of everyone, in case it was in some way upsetting or perhaps too presumptuous of me..."  
"What's on your mind?" Rorimac asked, giving closer attention to the bundle Bofur carried.  
"I don't wish to give you false hope, nor do I truly know what is transpiring in the midst of your letter-writing campaign, but it is my thought that if you--well, that is to say, if circumstances put you on the road to Erebor at some point, Bifur wouldn't want you any less protected than Ori wants Chadham or Thodora. Since he was not here to do it himself, I took the liberty of getting you a weapon in Ered Luin on his behalf."

Rorimac accepted the bundle from Bofur. It was heavier than he had expected. Flipping back the wrappings, he beheld a rather short sword and sheath. He glanced up at Bofur, stunned.

He breathed, "This is lovely."  
"I was going to wait until Spring, to see if perhaps you and Bifur had come to an accord, but by Spring you won't have much time to learn how to wield it. I know Fee and Kee are going to start lessons up again for Bilbo. They've said you are welcome to join. If things don't turn out as well as you are hoping with Bifur, then consider it still a gift, or perhaps a new hobby."  
"You-you're really invested in this? Bifur and me?"  
Bofur granted him a small, soft smile. "I'm invested in his happiness and if he can find it with you, then I'll be pleased for you both."  
"It is touching to me that you would work toward a love that is not your own."  
"Let's just say I have a soft spot for matters of the heart," Bofur said. "I'll do whatever I can to remove obstacles in your paths, but the rest is up to the two of you."  
"Of course."

Bofur's gift given and his errand having been completed, Fili's whispered request to not take too long buzzed between Bofur's ears--along with the memory of Bilbo's pleased flush throughout their meal. Bowing, he took his leave and hurried back to Bag End.

He hoped they hadn't started without them.

*****

No one was naked when Bofur returned home, though it was not long after that the four of them were undressing in the master bedroom. Bofur found himself unexpectedly shy when it came time to bare his legs.

"Come on now, let's see this secret you're walking around on," Bilbo coaxed. 

Complying, Bofur exposed his thighs. At first, Bilbo and Kili were not sure what they were looking for amongst the artwork, given so much of it had already been present. Bilbo spied Kili's name first, pointing it out to him. 

"I'm...I'm with your brothers," Kili said, astonished. "Well, brother and cousin, I suppose, but I always think of Bifur as your brother, too."  
"And so you should consider yourself," replied Bofur. "All our battles and experiences aside, soon I will wed our Fee. With the rest added in along with it, how would you have ever thought I could consider you otherwise?"

Kili hugged Bofur, forgetting for a moment they were naked. It had been an unspoken thing between them since the onset of this arrangement: Beyond an occasional shared touch or brush of the lips, Bofur did not seek to seduce Kili, nor the other way around. Independently, each of them had fretted that--though they found the other quite handsome--they did not feel the same pull toward each other they felt towards their lovers. In the end, it had mostly worked itself out without the need for stilted conversations. Belatedly, Kili realized he was clutching a nude Bofur in his arms, awkwardly releasing him once the moment passed.

Bofur's gaze sought Bilbo, who was staring at Bofur's other leg in still surprise. After a few silent moments passed, Bofur spoke.

"I see you've found yours, too...or were you looking at Fee's?" said Bofur, with the slightest tease.  
"Both, and Kee's too...oh, Bo! I didn't know you were going to--they are just so lovely and, my, what grand gestures! You've inked us into your skin, into the story your other tattoos tell, into your very life!" Bilbo said, almost babbling, his voice swelling with pride.  
"The three of you are my very life," Bofur said softly. 

Bilbo kissed him then. Carefully taking Bilbo into his arms, Bofur returned it passionately, glorying in the feeling of Bilbo's naked flesh against him again. Fili dropped alongside them, trading licks between Bilbo's and Bofur's pricks. Kili closed himself around Bilbo's back, slipping a newly slicked finger into Bilbo's crevice (and being cautious not to worry Bilbo's other tattoo, though he longed to caress it). 

Though they all came back from Ered Luin with fresh, raw adornments, they found careful ways to chase their pleasure. Bilbo was wrung dry by Fili and Kili working in tandem, one front and one back, Kili spending himself inside his husband mere breaths behind Bilbo's own orgasm. Bofur and Bilbo both had a hand (and tongue) in Fili's ecstasy, and--on his knees--Bilbo worshiped Bofur to his end. 

Sexually spent and exhausted from their travel to boot, not a soul pressed to favor continuing their liaison over the need of sleep. Carefully adjusting themselves in the master bed, the four of them nestled in to rest together for the first night in days.

*****

Unable to spoon against Fili or Bilbo the way he wanted, Bofur had to settle for resting an arm on Fili's hip while the other one held Bilbo's hand. One by one, he listened to his companions drift off. He would have no problem following them, weary as he was, if not for his busy mind.

Fate had not been in the mood to conspire with Bofur, it seemed. Kili had been close at Bilbo's side all the way back to the Shire and for the duration of their first evening at home, while Fili had been close to Bofur's own side as well. At least they had all fallen into bed together following their journey, giving Bofur the chance to show Bilbo his name. It had been his wish to do it privately, but he had no desire to forfeit this chance for the four of them to share a bed again--nor to explain why he was declining. As a result, any of Bofur's favored, fevered fantasies about revealing his tattoo to Bilbo were hampered by the company they had, though Bilbo's reaction was still happy, appreciative, and sweet.

*****

That night on the road was the coldest one Thorin's company had to endure so far. Luckily for them, wood was still easy to find and it was agreed between them all that they'd rather risk the signal of multiple flames than risk hypothermia. Thorin skipped his letter writing altogether in favor of huddling closely with the others around one of the fires.

As Dís shivered next to him, Thorin felt a stab of guilt, thinking maybe they would have missed such a cold night had they not tarried in the Shire so long. However, as he closed his eyes and thought about Bilbo on their wedding day--nearly able to feel him warm and trembling in his arms as he recalled their whispered vows--Thorin found himself quite unable to regret the decision to delay.

*****

Bilbo woke up unpleasantly, having rolled onto his new, sore earring. The sun was up just enough to fill the room with soft light. Bilbo blinked and shifted, pondering if he should try to go back to sleep or get up and make breakfast. His eyes fell on Bofur's bare leg, kicked free of the blankets. Bilbo assumed it must have irritated him in the night. Last night, Bilbo was too surprised and caught up in their pleasures to spend much time on the wheres and whyfors of Bofur's tattoos. As the only one awake in the quiet daylight, now Bilbo considered his name there.

He had not expected Bofur to do such a thing at all, though even if he had pondered it beforehand, he was still not sure he'd have predicted Bofur's choices. Though he wouldn't have thought himself in with Bombur, Bifur, or even Kili, he would not have guessed he would be afforded the same honor as Fili, either. He wondered how Fili felt, seeing Bilbo represented thus.

*****

The dwarf mania that had seized the hobbit population through the autumn had slackened a bit once the larger number of them left for Erebor. Still, upon his return, Bilbo saw braids for the lasses and longer hair for the lads still endured in style, as did dwarven touches of dressing and an increased love of jewelry. Bilbo noted that since he had given it, Lobelia had certainly never missed a chance to trot out her ruby necklace.

Bilbo waited for whispers to start up now that the excitement had passed, as these things always did, but heard very little in the way of disparaging remarks. Perhaps, if their friends had left town as quickly as they had arrived, it might have gone differently, but it seems time spent with "outsiders," along with a few shared dances and beers, had won over even the stodgiest of his peers. Kili, Fili, and Bofur integrating--and ingratiating--themselves was also a likely factor. He supposed it was hard to maintain such prejudice in the wake of such community.

*****

Bofur discovered that without the tattoo to unveil, trying to begin the conversation with Bilbo about the meaning of their artwork (and the way it made him feel) was difficult. The things he wanted to say--and perhaps, wanted to hear--needed to come about organically and (preferably) privately. After a few days of waiting, the chance came at an unexpected moment.

*****

Bofur crept down the hall to investigate a noise in the kitchen. It turned out to be Bilbo.

"Oi, I thought you were out with the lads," Bofur said.  
Replied Bilbo, "I thought _you_ were with them! I was just getting ready to boil a pot and have some seed cake. There's enough for two--want to join in?"  
"Sure!"  
"Here, you do the boiling and I'll set up the rest," Bilbo said. 

Waiting for the water to heat, Bofur watched Bilbo put together the service and plate their cakes. He caught a glimpse of Thorin's and Kili's names on Bilbo's wrist. Bilbo looked up at that moment and caught Bofur staring. 

"What?" he asked.  
Bofur indicated Bilbo's arm. Affably, he said, "Thank you for not putting me on the same arm as Thorin."  
"I don't know which of you would be more annoyed if I had," Bilbo said with a grin. "Besides, how could I possibly separate you and Fee? You belong together, even on my wrist."  
Softly, Bofur agreed, "We do, but I also belong with you."  
"And I'll always carry you with me, now." Bilbo tilted his other forearm to display Bofur's name.  
Taking Bilbo's upturned hand, Bofur stroked his palm.  
In nearly a whisper, he asked, "Why did you put my name on your skin?"  
Looking perplexed, Bilbo plainly stated, "I already told you, back in Ered Luin."  
"You said you carried us in friendship, kinship, and love. Which one am I, Bee?"  
Bofur looked at Bilbo, searching, _needing_.  
Bilbo gazed back at him, equally caught up. "All of them. You're my...you're my Bo."  
"Kiss me," Bofur whispered, lowering his lips to Bilbo's. 

Bilbo pushed up on his toes and into the kiss, making Bofur moan. 

When they parted, Bilbo murmured, "I think I'd like to see mine again, if you wouldn't mind?"  
"Well, I'd have to take my trousers down."  
"That's the idea."  
Bofur smiled and started undoing his laces. "Tsk tsk tsk, and what about the tea and cake?"  
"They can wait a little longer, don't you think?" Bilbo asked, lowering himself to the floor. 

Bofur dropped his head back and moaned low with the first wet swipe of Bilbo's tongue along his inner thigh. Careful not to get too close to the possibly-still-tender artwork, Bilbo licked up Bofur's stones to his shaft instead.

"You mean to-" Bofur started.  
"-Mmmhmm."  
"Right here in the-"  
"-Mmmhmm."  
"Bloody-"

Bofur's thought was interrupted by his own shout as Bilbo engulfed him.

*****

Having traded oral pleasures against the counter of the kitchen in Bag End--something Bofur had fantasized about often since the "dressing gown incident," as he had come to call it--Bofur and Bilbo now sat in the dining room, lazily enjoying their snack in their afterglow. Bilbo asked Bofur how it went with Rorimac in Ered Luin; Bofur answered with the story of his part in helping along their cousins' romance.

When Bofur had finished, Bilbo said, "So you've gifted Rorimac a weapon, then."  
"Aye. Now, don't be jealous he got a present and you didn't," Bofur teased.  
"I'm not jealous!" Bilbo protested, rolling his eyes. "Besides, the present you gave me in Ered Luin was incredibly special in its own right."  
"And it holds a lot of meaning for me as well," Bofur added.  
"Oh?" Bilbo flirted. "How's that, then? What does it mean to you?"  
Locking eyes with Bilbo, Bofur said, "You already know."

Quite suddenly, Bilbo was struck by the shift from playfulness to passionate intensity in Bofur's gaze. It was not unpleasant, but it caught him unprepared, as did the message Bofur was seeming to convey. 

Bilbo cleared his throat nervously. "Well, any road, giving Rori that sword was a lovely thing to do for him, and for Bifur besides."

"Bifur would do it for me," Bofur said with a shrug. He was not sure why Bilbo changed the subject.  
Bilbo pressed a kiss to Bofur's lips. "You really are such a romantic, Prince Bofur."

Bilbo shuffled off to wash the tea service, leaving Bofur blushing and confused in his wake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bofur's "dressing gown incident" http://archiveofourown.org/works/1077576/chapters/2966611
> 
> Thank you, friends!!!


	11. Interlude:  Chemistry and Biology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ponderings, awakenings, and writings.

Fili and Bofur had picked a day in December to wed. It was to be the 19th of December, two days before 1 Yule, so that all the Shire would be feasting and celebrating the holiday for six days after the wedding. The date had been Bilbo's idea and a fine one, too. His reasoning was that, since it was not going to be a large or state affair, they could take advantage of party after party to make up for all the formality and dinners they would be lacking. Fili found the sentiment quite thoughtful on Bilbo's part, moving him to praise Kili again for his choice of mate. 

Bofur loved the idea, too, finally having a set moment in which he would marry his golden god at last. He didn't even complain when Fili declared that night a couple's night to celebrate selecting a wedding date. Alone in their bed, Bofur fucked Fili deep and hard into the mattress, just the way his intended loved it. In turn, Fili showered Bofur with passionate adoration, making love languorously until neither of them could hold off a moment longer. It was a glorious night and Bofur was struck once again how fantastically blessed he was to have Fili to call his own.

*****

Though Bilbo always loved Fili and Bofur with them in bed, the nights off weren't unwelcome. In addition to loving the chance alone to properly adore and undo his husband, it gave Bilbo some time to catch his breath and reflect. Bilbo was still adjusting to Bofur's intensity as a lover, to say nothing of the swell of feelings Bofur stirred within him in turn. It was a heady, new angle on their already multi-faceted relationship and it was exciting to explore. He often found himself pleasantly surprised by the things Bofur might say or do, or breathlessly disarmed by a heated look. Little by little, he was also discovering how long Bofur had longed for him--and how deeply. There was a delicious tension between them and it only seemed to grow after they inked each other's names onto their bodies. Bilbo couldn't quite put his finger on what it was, but as long as it continued to make the kisses deeper and the orgasms harder, he was not going to complain.

*****

Thorin had been counting days, trying to estimate when the letters might reach the Shire. He hoped Bilbo had taken up his end of their bargain, building up his own sheaf of loving and lascivious thoughts to send to Erebor at the very first opportunity. Thorin's smile at the happy thought faded to a frown. Given the onset of winter, he wasn't sure when said opportunity could reasonably be. He shook off the worry. He knew if there was a way to get a letter to him, Bilbo would find it--even had they not married at all.

Any such worries or concerns did not keep Thorin from continuing to write Bilbo as often as he could, though the shift in weather and Dís's curious eyes made such moments scarcer than they were prior to the arrival in Rivendell.

*****

Shallow into November, Bilbo answered the bell one day to find Holman at his door with a basket.

"Mister Bilbo! A traveler just came through! A man, and a smudgy, queer looking sort at that, asking after the Baggins residence. Well, I asked him his business--told him I was in your employ--and he dumped this out of his pack!"  
Bilbo peered into the basket. "Letters! Oh! Did you see which way he went? I would have given him some coin."  
"No, by the time I got it all in something to carry, he was gone and there was no sight of him from side to side. It was highly irregular, I don't mind telling you. Say, do you think he might know Mister Gandalf?"  
Smiling, Bilbo said, "It is entirely possible. Here, let me take that from you."  
Handing over his burden, Holman asked, "Will there be anything else, Mister Bilbo?"  
"Yes, do you know which way Fili and Kili went?"  
Holman scratched his head. "Last I saw, they were heading off with Mister Ori."  
"Thank you, Holman."

*****

Bilbo was sorting letters onto the dining room table according to addressee when Bofur joined him in the dining room.

"Oh! Bo! I'm glad you're here," Bilbo said, beaming. 

Bofur's heart beat a little faster at the sight of Bilbo's smile. Something had been growing between them, changing, evolving--the tattoos being only the latest in a string of encounters and events that tickled the inside of Bofur's skin with an adoring urgency he hadn't been able to name. 

Interrupting his thoughts, Bilbo handed him letters. "These are for you. Only two, I'm afraid."  
"From Bifur, of course. I didn't honestly expect any of the others to write me. Well, maybe Dís," Bofur said, waggling his eye brows.  
"You are a bad fellow," Bilbo teased him back.  
Bofur flipped over the second letter. "Well, would you look at that! The other one is from our Estel! He hasn't forgotten us!"  
"I think it would take a life-age for him to forget you, Bo. He practically gives you credit for hanging the moon."  
"Cor, what's this?" Bofur said, hefting a parcel.  
"Presumably, that's Thorin's letter to me."  
"So what is that in your hand?" Bofur said, eying a similar package.  
"This is to Rorimac from Bifur."  
With mock indignation, Bofur said, "Bifur wrote him _that_ and all I get is this flimsy little thing?"  
He shook his letter--limp by comparison--for effect.  
Bilbo giggled. "I think that's probably a good sign for Rori, don't you think?"  
"The best!" Bofur replied with a genuinely thrilled grin.  
"I'm going to go give it to him right now, and find Fee, Kee, and Ori to let them know they have mail, too."  
"Don't waste another second getting that to Rorimac, if you know what is good for you," Bofur said. "Nor getting back here so we can share our own new gossip between the lot of us. Go on, now, go!"

On his way out of the room, Bilbo smiled and winked before disappearing through the doorway. Bofur felt a bolt travel from his chest to his spine to his stomach to his cock, leaving a tight burn all along its path. Epiphany bloomed; the unnameable, named.

 _I want to do everything with you,_ Bofur thought.

*****

While he waited for Bilbo to return with the others for letter distribution (and the chatter that would doubtless follow), Bofur decided to read his own missive from Bifur. A second, folded note fell out. Bofur tucked it into a pocket while he read the first.

" _Bofur,_

_Lord Elrond has invited me to stay the winter in Rivendell. Nori is here, too, so I won't have to endure being the only dwarf. I think he's rather glad I've chosen to stay, for the same reason. My plan is to meet up with you in the Spring and go back to Erebor when you visit._

_There's more to it, though, and I've spent the past several moments staring at the page in an attempt to figure how to tell you. Lord Elrond seems to think he can help me with my war wound. Indeed, he thinks he may even be able to salvage my speech, if the pathways it cut can be mended by elvish healing. Nîfon has told me Lord Elrond's healing ability is exceptional, that if he could not it do it, no one could. Dwarves and Men have been unable to help in the past and I thought I had made my peace with it, but this autumn has changed things for me. Lord Elrond is going to do what he can and, afterward, allow me to convalesce in Rivendell. The offer was most generous and I have accepted._

_It is not without risk, and there is a chance it may end me. If it doesn't, though--I can scarcely let myself imagine the joy I would feel!_

_I have a letter folded within this one, one that is secret. If you get word the worst has happened, I should like you to give it to Rorimac for me, but otherwise, breathe not a word to him, please. I would like to keep this matter as private as we may. Of course, rest assured I'll be writing Bombur and the family to let them know, as it is only right._

_If I do not make it, dear cousin, give Fili, Kili, and Bilbo my fondest hopes for a life to be well-lived. Our journey with them as well as the lovely autumn we shared in the Shire are things I'll never forget. I was glad to know them._

_For you, Bofur, follow your heart. It has been quite a life, being your cousin and friend. I'll be sad to see it end, if that is what is to be, but we've had a good time, haven't we? You've been a right cocky tit, but I surely do love you._

_Be well,  
Bifur_ "

Slowly sinking down into a chair, Bofur desperately tried to school his emotions before the others returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shire Yule information was located here--  
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle-earth_calendar
> 
> Thank you!


	12. Near Miss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny how it is possible to be so close and still so far.

Bofur hadn't gotten himself quite sorted yet when Bilbo returned with a cadre of their loved ones behind him. Bofur noted Rorimac was the only one missing from the bunch, but he figured the hobbit would have stayed behind with his letters, unable to wait another moment to see what they held. He remembered a time when he counted the days to hear from Fili and, knowing what he did about Bifur's plans, his heart ached for Rorimac all the more. He hoped Bifur gave him something in his correspondence (other than anecdotes) to cling to should the worst happen.

Seeing Bofur, Bilbo sensed right away that something was amiss. His happy grin faltered. 

"Bo? Everything okay?" he asked.  
Rolling his lips inward, Bofur nodded. "Aye, fine. Wond'rful."

Bilbo glanced down, the rest of his smile disappearing entirely when he saw Bofur's hands tremble. Fili caught it, too.

"Oh, you're shaking! Out with it--has something happened?" Fili leaned in closer so Thodora and Chadham could not hear. "Did Bifur say something about ending it with Rorimac? I know you got a letter, too."

Faced with his Chosen's caring tone and gentle gaze, Bofur thought he might go to pieces in the safety of his embrace. His throat tightened and he felt the unwelcome warmth of tears on the verge. He willed it away (later having no idea how he managed) and came up with an excuse.

"No, nothing to do with that. I'm just...well, the stomach is empty and all. It has given me a bit of the shakes," he said, glad he had skipped second breakfast and elevensies, so it wouldn't be an outright lie.

"Oh! That would also explain why you've gone so pale. Let me start lunch, then!" Bilbo said.  
Fili shook his head. "Bee, you've got your giant letter from Thorin you've been waiting weeks for. I daresay you might not finish it before dinner, but I'm sure you're eager to at least start, seeing as you fetched us straight away."  
Kili inspected it. "Hasn't even been opened yet."  
"Kee, why don't you get a little water boiling?" Fili suggested. "I'm going to grab one of the morning's scones for Bofur so he will stop losing color, then I'll join you. The rest of you can start reading without us."

Bofur exhaled, glad his bit of a ruse worked. He had planned to get Bilbo distracted--telling a hobbit a meal had been missed always resulted in a flurry of activity--but he managed to shift Fili's keen eyes as well. He felt bad Fili was now charged with lunch, but he knew he would not have held up under Fili's questioning--particularly when all he wanted to do right now was bury himself in his arms.

*****

Rorimac didn't pause to bother with a single moment of guilt over not joining his friends for their letter reading. Carefully, he peeled back the covering, smoothing his hand over the first page as gently as if it were Bifur's own bare skin under his fingers.

_"Rorimac,_

_I am not sure yet what this letter will contain, though I'm certain as the distance between here and Erebor shrinks, my writings will grow ever longer. Thorin had given me an idea to write whenever we are stopped, and I quite like it. I am hoping you would not be put off receiving pages and pages from me. If your words at our parting still hold true, I do not think it would be too arrogant to say you would not mind it at all."_

Rorimac smiled to himself. Those last moments with Bifur had been replayed in his mind hundreds of times.

Rorimac was surprised to learn Bifur's ancestors hailed from not the Blue Mountains but from Khazad-dûm, a place he had only heard of in whispers and snatches of legends. His people had settled in Erebor and fled during the terror of Smaug. Bifur had not yet been born, but his surviving kin carried the horror of it with them ever after.

 _"I come from a long, proud line of miners and smiths, some who unearthed the very gems and created the most amazing metal works of Erebor's finest age. My parents wanted me to become a smith like them, but I could not bear to follow their footsteps exact. There was something incredibly sad about it to me, you see, to view the proud pain in my father's face as he spoke of the past and talked of glories that would never be again for him--nor, had we thought, for any of us. Those who remembered always told me that Ered Luin was lovely, but it was no Erebor. Our own halls were not as majestic, and the beauty to be wrought was...lesser. Thusly, though the need to create art flowed in my blood and through my fingers, I had to find another way. Whether it was for my soft heart alone or whether it was an attempt to somehow preserve my parents' memories of the glorious past, who could say?"_  
  
Rorimac read on.

*****

Waiting for lunch to cook, Fili and Kili dug into their own letters.

"Look, Kee! Mam sent a letter addressed to both of us," Fili said.  
Kili crowded over Fili's shoulder to read it. "What's it say?"

After a few moments of their eyes sweeping the page, Fili's hand went to his mouth. Kili caught up a second behind, exclaiming.

"What? What's going on?" Bilbo asked.  
"Mam and Dwalin are getting married this summer," said Fili, disbelieving.  
"Married?" gasped Bofur. "But that was so fast!"  
Kili shrugged. "Maybe, in a sense, but didn't Thorin say Dwalin had pined for her for decades?"  
"Probably didn't seem so fast for _him_ ," Bilbo agreed jovially.  
"What else does it say?" Bofur asked.  
The surprise was abating and Fili sounded more like himself. "We're all invited to the wedding, of course, along with half of Middle Earth. It is to be in May."  
Noted Bofur, "Looks like Balin is going to get his big royal wedding sooner than later, after all."

*****

Rorimac's stomach rumbled, interrupting his trip through Bifur's memories. It seemed as if Bifur managed to send him his life story, though Bifur himself said he saved many things back for them to discuss the next time they saw each other, if a next time there was to be. The thought of seeing him again sent a lovely flutter through Rorimac's chest. He planned to re-read it and savor it again later, bit by bit, until every nuance was inked upon his mind, but for now (and for his stomach), he read quickly. To be true, he was scarcely unable to keep himself from wanting to see what Bifur would say next.

_"The party is preparing to leave Rivendell in the morning, but I will not be joining them. Elrond and his folk are allowing me to stay if I wish it, and I am enjoying the hospitality too much to turn such an offer down. I should also confess it gives me a thrill to think we might have faster and more frequent letter exchanges as a result._

_As long as I'm being truthful, I might as well tell you I'm eager for you to read this and to understand in part who I am inside. I'm anxious to know if you find the words in these pages as compelling as you found the warmth of my skin and the weight of my body against yours. I told myself I wouldn't speak of our time in the Shire because this is supposed to be about what we were unable to share, but you deserve to know I think about the time we spent in each other's arms. I think about it probably more than I should, particularly if these letters prove we would be better off parting as friends. I cannot help myself, though. I miss you._

_One last confession--I knew I would miss you before I ever left._

_I hope I haven't made a fool of myself by speaking this way. If you had already reached the conclusion by this point that what we had was a lovely affair and nothing more, do not let these last paragraphs make you feel obligated in any way. Please. I'd much rather have a disappointment now than the humiliation later._

_Above all else, I hope this letter finds you happy and well. Whether it is friendly regards or possibly something more, I look forward to hearing from you soon._

_All my best,  
Bifur"_

Giddy and grinning, Rorimac decided to take Bilbo up on his invitation to lunch.

*****

Bilbo read through a part of Thorin's letter while the others read theirs.

 

_"Darling husband,_

_I am sitting here, cold. It was a soggy evening, but still Bifur and I are unfailingly writing our letters. It would seem to me that I am not the only one in love with someone in the Shire. I daresay he isn't writing to Bofur nearly every night._

_I think of you nearly always. I'm wondering about you even now. Are you warm? Dry? Is your stomach full of good food? Are you reading? Visiting? Making love? If so, do you wish I was there to touch you, too? I find myself starving for the smallest scrap of information about you. In the absence of any, I can only hope you are happy. Is it contradictory if I hope you are happy but missing me terribly at the same time?_

_I slept with your blanket again last night, but I think it might be the last time I allow it for this trip. It is starting to smell more like outside air than Bag End. I'll want the comfort it brings later, so I'm going to pack it away to preserve what is left of you until I reach Erebor. I hope it makes my whole chambers smell like your home._

_Home. I've been thinking quite a bit lately about the concept of home, of nobility and responsibility, and how they all differ in reality from the ideas I used to carry in my mind. I have spent nearly my full adulthood planning to avenge my kin and take back what was ours. From the moment we fled her gates, everything led back to Erebor. Fili and Kili were raised on it. I was going to retake it or die trying. On the occasions I let myself hope, I would daydream what it would be like to finally rule the mountain, to have the full respect of our house and my position restored. Elves and Men alike would be forced to reckon with me, not belittle me. Oh, and Erebor herself--I planned to see the mountain restored! To run this kingdom, to reawaken her glory! It was where I belonged._

_Except._

_Now that it is done, it doesn't seem right. My memories of the mountain in my youth were warmer, brighter. Living there now, it almost feels claustrophobic. I know that must sound wrong, such an enormous and cavernous space being such, but after all the nights I've spent under open skies, or in small waypoints (and smials) where the sun and moon were only a doorway away, it does make me feel somewhat hemmed in. At first, I thought it was the curse and gloom of Smaug. Later, I thought it could be because I had lost so many dear to me and perhaps their lack made the new reality more dim. As I head back to Erebor, though all that may also be true, I think I know better what it was._

_I was happy, those last days in the Shire--happy, warm, and comforted in a way I hadn't been since before we found the mountain...and perhaps not even then. I spent months at Erebor, broken-hearted and missing you tremendously. In fact, even in the midst of our romantic parting, the most Erebor had felt like home to me since her reclamation was when you visited before going back to the Shire. Erebor did not hold the comfort for me I had been expecting all those years in part because it lacked you._

_Though falling in love with you has changed my life entirely, even if it hadn't, I would still be trying to catch up to myself, to figure out how to be, to figure out whom I'm supposed to be now. _

_I need to get some rest for tomorrow's journey. If we're lucky, this rain will let up._

_I love and miss you. I'll write more soon._

_Yours,  
T"_

*****

Kili let Bilbo sit to read a while longer while he finished lunch, Rorimac excitedly joining them about the time it was ready. The dwarves had learned to always make an overabundance of food when in Bag End, so there was more than enough to share with another chair added.

Rorimac practically skipped to the table, prompting Bilbo and Bofur to share a knowing look. He must have gotten good news from his would-be suitor. Bofur did his best not to let the fear in his gut for Rorimac show in his face.

While tucking into a hearty lunch, the table shared news from their respective friends and lovers.

Ori said Nori had chosen to stay behind with Nîfon until the next expedition--theirs--passed through Rivendell. He reported that Dori, more used to Nori's independent streak than Ori's, only put up the slightest bit of fuss.

"Oh, that will be good then, because Bifur is staying behind as well," Rorimac chimed in.  
Ori chirped in happy agreement, "Oi! It'll be good for Nori to have him around, I'll bet."  
"I wonder what made Bifur decide to winter in Rivendell," Bilbo wondered guilelessly.  
Rorimac shrugged. "He didn't go into great detail. He mentioned he was enjoying Elrond's hospitality and that I should forward my correspondence there. To be honest, I've been too relieved we could speed up our letter exchange to properly think about _why_."  
Bofur, more determined by the moment to keep Bifur's secret for the sake of them all, said, "You know, cold weather has vexed him since he was wounded. It bothers his injury something fierce. I'm willing to bet he has gotten some terrible headaches on the road that encouraged him to bed down in Rivendell until warmer days."

Again, hating to lie, Bofur felt better that although it wasn't _the_ reason, it certainly could have been _a_ reason. Bifur suffered miserable head pain in frigid weather.

Rorimac was not-so-secretly thrilled Bifur was going to be staying in Rivendell. Although still far, it was not as far as Erebor and Bifur seemed to be promising his letters would come more frequently. As it was, Bifur had already sent him pages beyond his best wishes. Rorimac learned only Bilbo had letters as long from the traveling group.

Bilbo, Bofur, Kili, and Fili reported all receiving happy letters from Estel. He had told Kili of his practice with archery, Fili was informed of his improvement in swordplay since Fili's lessons, and he sent along verse to Bofur to set tune to. His letter to Bilbo was in Sindarin on one side and Common on the other, in case Bilbo had let his studies lapse. Estel was effusive about the visit he had heard was coming in the Spring and how kind and interesting King Thorin was. Bilbo couldn't help but smile, picturing how it must have been with the two of them together.

Their company eventually left in happy spirits, going home with long-awaited news from their friends and loved ones. The rest of the day at Bilbo's went on much as usual, if not far more quietly, and Bilbo had his nose in his letter from Thorin at every opportunity.

*****

Once Bag End was settled for the night, Bofur begged off the sharing of Bilbo's and Kili's bed. It would not have been his first choice, but his worry for Bifur still weighed too heavily on his mind--and nervoused up his stomach in a way that hindered arousal. 

Bilbo warily kissed him goodnight, still studying him, trying to figure out what was amiss. The sweet concern in Bilbo's expression almost made Bofur change his mind altogether.

*****

Fili had not pressed Bofur for anything beyond them getting into bed unclothed and nestling into each other, Bofur's back pressed to Fili's chest.

"Fee? I need to talk to you."  
Fili had been waiting, hoping for Bofur to unburden whatever had been weighing on him.  
"I'm here," he replied. 

Bofur took a deep breath and rolled over in Fili's arms so he could look at him. Marshaling his courage, he told him about Bifur's letter. Bofur's strength wavered when Fili's breath hitched, but still he pressed on, ending with only a brief mention of the second letter. Though it remained hidden and unopened, Bofur didn't have the heart to say aloud what he guessed was inside.

"So that's it. No one can know. If you tell Kee, he could tell Bee, and then he might tell his cousin. No telling Ori, either. Bifur asked for this to be as private as possible," Bofur said.  
Smoothing his palm along Bofur's cheek, Fili regarded him solemnly. "No, we will not breathe a word to anyone, not a soul."  
Bofur lips pressed together in a semblance of a sad smile. "Thank you, Fee. I was not to tell anyone at all but I couldn't--I can't, can't do this all alone."  
With that, Bofur's tears broke free. Fili cradled him as he wept into his shoulder, kissing his temple and rubbing his back.  
"That is far too great a burden to expect anyone to shoulder by themselves. It is my privilege to help you carry it."  
"I love you, I love you, I love you," Bofur whispered, still crying, into Fili's neck.  
"My brave Bo. I love you, too."

*****

"Bee! Stop flopping about like a fish," groused Kili.  
"I can't sleep."  
"Don't I know it!"  
Bilbo made a noise of frustration and Kili pulled him close.  
"What's got you so restless?"  
"Something happened to Bo between the time I left to get you and the time we all got home, and I think Bifur's letter was the cause."  
"Do you think Bifur is perhaps finished with Rorimac?" Kili asked. "Bo does seem quite invested in the two of them working out."  
"It is mostly for Bifur's sake that he is invested to begin with. No, he looked far too stricken for it to be the end of a love affair that is not even his. Besides, you saw Rorimac. He practically floated out the door when he left, he was so happy."  
"So what do you think?"  
Bilbo shook his head. "I'm perplexed. It seems like grave news was received about somebody, but none of our other letters hinted at an injury or worse within the traveling party. I wouldn't even know who to worry about!"  
"Maybe you are making too much of it," Kili said. "You do tend to overly fret."  
"Perhaps, but it scares me when Bofur loses his shine."  
Kili hummed a little laugh.  
"What's so funny?" Bilbo demanded to know, craning his head up to look at him.  
"Not funny so much as just...well, I wish I had a way to preserve it when you say things like that for the times that Bo is eating his heart out. Sometimes, I don't think he knows what it took for us to get here...or how much you love him."  
Bilbo rolled his eyes and rested his head against Kili again.  
"Don't be silly! I've got his name inked into my arm. Of course he knows."

*****

The morning after the letters came, Bofur awoke feeling better. Though he was worried about Bifur, the initial shock had worn off. Sharing the news with Fili had helped immensely.

As he went about getting up and ready for his day, he felt altogether different than the day before. Something about Bifur's letter had changed him, empowered him in a way. "Follow your heart," Bifur had told him and, more than ever, he felt a responsibility to live up to Bifur's wish for him--most especially if it could be his last. Bofur had been happily planning to finally marry his Fee, putting him well on the road toward what his heart wanted already. Now, after yesterday's epiphany and coupled with Bifur's advice, Bilbo's place in Bofur's life was clear as day. He had been too afraid of rejection to dare to name what he long had known to be true, but the feeling had grown too strong to deny. 

If only he could be as sure about his place in Bilbo's life as he was about Bilbo's and Fili's places in his.

*****

Kili and Bilbo had their first angry fight as a married couple that afternoon. It being a chilly day, they had been enjoying a pipe in the smoking room where it was warm.

Unusually, Bilbo did not find his pipe weed very soothing. Truth be told, he felt most snappish in general, and Kili--nattering on about how he wanted to have a larger role in maintaining their household--quickly bore the brunt of it. 

"Don't you take that tone with me," Bilbo spat.  
Kili looked at him in confused annoyance. "Tone? What tone?"  
"Oh, you know which tone! You just can't stand that there are things that I would prefer to do around here myself, can you?" Bilbo pointed his pipe at Kili to punctuate his point.  
Kili sarcastically mimed pretending to think.  
"Things you would prefer to do yourself...hmmm...you mean, _just about everything_? You know, I wouldn't have to take any tone with you if you weren't so pig-headed about how _your_ house should be run!" he said, turning pink with sudden agitation.  
"Pig-headed!" Bilbo sniffed, offended.  
"Yes, pig-headed and control-bent!"  
"Well, why shouldn't I be? Should I be locked away for the crime of believing there's a certain way things need to be done?"  
"You aren't the only one who lives here anymore! When you asked me to share Bag End with you, I didn't think I'd only be your toy and errand-ling! I thought this was to be my home, too, but you're too busy being fussy britches to let me act like it!"  
"You know, if I wanted to be lorded over by the Prince of bloody Erebor, I could've stayed in Erebor!"  
"And if I wanted to be bossed around in my own damned home, I would have stayed there, too!"  
"If that's what you want then fine!"  
"Fine!" Kili jumped up, leaving his pipe on the tray, and stormed out of the room.  
"Fine!" Bilbo shouted down the hall, just to get the last word. 

Bilbo was worked up, his blood angrier than it had been in weeks. He paced--heart pounding so hard it almost sounded like whispers in his ears--eventually smashing his empty tea cup against the wall in a fit of frustration. He jumped as it shattered, his hand covering his mouth. He thanked goodness it was not one of the heirloom cups, but it was a mess just the same. He extinguished their pipes and picked up the broken remains. 

Trash disposed of, Bilbo sat in his favorite armchair and tried to compose himself. The fight was over something so trivial--why did they get so worked up?

*****

Kili's stalk away from Bag End turned into more of a wander as his initial anger morphed into bitter confusion and regret. What had that even been about? One moment they were talking about Kili taking a bigger role in taking care of Bag End and the next, they were both red-faced and furious. Replaying it in his mind, he couldn't really remember what had set them off. He surely hated this now, though.

Walking along, upset and alone, Kili better understood Thorin's concerns from the beginning of their arrangements. Bilbo could be on his knees at this very moment with Bofur, not even giving Kili or their argument a second thought because another lover was there to fill his place, soothing Bilbo and sharing pleasure--all while Kili had nothing.

Kili shivered in the midday chill, wishing he hadn't forgotten his cloak in his angry haste. He wasn't really quite sure where he was walking, anyhow.

*****

It was time for Gandalf to turn off the road from Thorin's group. Preparing to ride in his own direction, Dori and Dís saddled his mount with rations as Gandalf said his goodbyes. He took several moments to speak with his friend Beorn alone before seeking Thorin for a private talk of their own.

Leaning on his staff, Gandalf said, "A wizard, Thorin, is more than a doddering old man with a walking stick, a penchant for fireworks, and a handful of tricks for the parlor."  
"I understand that," Thorin replied evenly.  
"Do you indeed? Good, then I will not need to point out that despite my grey appearance, I am not yet blind."  
Thorin didn't break Gandalf's gaze, though he ran his tongue along the roof of his own mouth before speaking again. "Of course not."  
"Therefore perhaps you will take my advice to tread carefully."

Thorin and Gandalf studied each other, Thorin in full understanding of what Gandalf was alluding to. For Thorin to outright feign ignorance would be too obvious, but he had had enough of Gandalf in his business for a season. Instead, he pretended to misunderstand.

"We shall, Gandalf. The war is over, but the road between here and Erebor might still pass by goblin, bandit, or foe. We will remain alert."  
Gandalf's eyes narrowed. "Quite."

As Gandalf rode away, he muttered, "Dwarrows and hobbits, sex and love. Confusticate the whole stubborn, reckless mess of them."

*****

"Kee! I've been looking for you!" Bofur shouted after him breathlessly.  
Kili turned around, a smidge of hope in his breast. "Oh?"  
"I just came from home."  
Kili noted Bofur was flushed and sucking in air as though he had been greatly exerted.  
"From seeing Bilbo?" asked Kili, eying him warily.  
"Aye."  
Kili did not try to keep the bitterness from his voice. "Then what are you doing here?"  
"You and him had words?"

Kili's look turned sour. Bofur should know the answer to that, given he was the one to give Bilbo particular comforts in Kili's place.

"You could say that."  
"Thought so. Oh, he's in a bad way, Kee--sad and mopey and would barely say a word to me. He wouldn't drink the tea I made him."  
"He...he is sad? He barely spoke to you?"  
"I've been running up and down the paths seeking you out. Bee didn't know where you were or if you even wanted to be found, but I'm here to tell you he needs you. I don't know what you argued about, but I can tell you he regrets it terribly."

Joy surged through Kili's center. Bilbo didn't just fill in Kili's gap with another lover! Bilbo missed him and regretted their fight! 

Kili clutched Bofur's shoulder, confessing, "I do too, Bo! I don't know why we fought!"  
"Don't tell me, daft lad! Tell _him!_ What are you still doing even standing here?"

Kili took off for home, leaving Bofur chuckling fondly in his wake.

*****

Kili surged through the door to Bag End, shouting for Bilbo.  
Racing down the hall, Bilbo called, "Kili, is that you?"

They met in the foyer, neither one sure which one embraced the other first. Kili had Bilbo's feet off the floor in an instant, kissing him at eye level, both of them gasping apologies whenever they broke for air.

"-So sorry," Bilbo whispered.  
"Didn't mean-"  
"No, I should have-"  
"-so stupid."  
"I didn't even care that much-"  
"Please forgive me-"  
"-don't know why I was so mad!"  
"I love you."  
Bilbo repeated, "I'm so, so sorry."  
"Me too, oh, it was such a foolish thing to get so furious about." Kili said. "I don't understand it."  
"Kee?"  
"Yes, my jewel?"  
"I need to feel you, this very moment, as close as we can get. As close _inside you_ as I can get."  
"Mahal, yes, right away."

Not returning Bilbo's feet to the floor, Kili instead walked them down the hall to their bedroom and placed Bilbo gently on their bed. The two of them touched, kissed, and stroked their apologies until their strange quarrel was all but forgotten.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!


	13. Notable Features

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo gets a little tied up at Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of fun. Tags have updated.

In light of their fight, Bilbo and Kili were the ones begging off for a couple's evening. Bofur felt the weight of disappointment, eager to return to Bilbo's embrace with his new realization, but Fili quickly extinguished Bofur's regret with sensuous promises, elated mentions of their upcoming wedding, and many, many kisses across Bofur's skin.

*****

The next afternoon, Bofur and Fili intercepted Bilbo emerging from his bath in naught but his dressing gown. With Bofur at his back and Fili at his front, they walked him to his room, crowding and kissing at him.

Bilbo giggled, "Wait, where's Kee? Wasn't he with you?"  
"He...had some things to do," Fili explained. "But he's still feeling simply awful about the argument you had, you see, and he requested we give you a special treat."  
Fili slipped the dressing gown off Bilbo's shoulders while Bofur ducked out of Bilbo's view.  
"Did he?" Bilbo asked breathlessly.  
Bofur popped back up with some familiar, silvered coils of fine rope and some flannels. "Aye."  
Bilbo eyed the supplies, wondering how long they had been under the bed. "Wh-what are you going to do with those?"

Fili urged him back on the bed, covering him with his still-clothed body. Licking up Bilbo's neck, he purred into his ear.

"Remember the day I teased you about us tying you up and getting you ready for Kee?"  
Bilbo wet his lips. Did he ever! "Yes."  
Taking over the explanation, Bofur said, "Then, by your leave, we're going to show you what some of the special features of this bed are."

Bilbo's cock had been stiff before his back had touched the blanket, and the partial explanation of what was about to transpire only served to make him virtually drip with arousal.

His gaze darting between Fili and Bofur, Bilbo said, "You have my leave."

To Bilbo's surprise, Fili did a maneuver and the wooden bar along the foot of the bed came free. Fili set it aside and grabbed onto Bilbo, pulling him downward so as to position his bottom along the edge of the bed. Measuring out the coils of ultra-thin rope until he found the two smaller ones, Fili used Bofur's supplies to carefully wrap Bilbo's ankle in a way that wouldn't cut or strangle.

"Is that tight?" Fili asked.  
Bilbo had been watching with wide-eyed interest. "No," he said, surprised to hear himself sounding husky.  
"Good."

Fili raised Bilbo's leg up in the direction of the bedpost, effectively spreading him, checking in again to make sure the strain wasn't too great on Bilbo's muscles.

"No, you can go a little more, even," encouraged Bilbo.  
Fili glanced down in amused surprise. "How 'bout that? Sounds like someone has been doing some limbering up, doesn't it Bo?"  
Bilbo grinned. "I've got to do something to keep up with Kee."  
From behind Bilbo's head, Bofur said, "Isn't that the truth!"

Bofur grasped Bilbo's arms, pulling them into his lap. He softly kissed his own name on Bilbo's skin before he prepared Bilbo's hands, tying them together with the same care Fili had given to his ankle and being extra mindful of his tattoos. Glancing up, he saw Fili tugging the foot-bench into a more convenient location at the end of the bed for Bilbo's seduction.

"Have you--have you two done this before?" Bilbo asked.  
"No," replied Bofur.  
Fili explained, "We kept waiting for you two to try this on your own, but Kee says you hadn't yet. Bo and I are curious for our own sakes, too, but haven't gotten around to building our own bed."  
"Let's just say you're going to be the test run," Bofur said, tying the single, long rope strand that held Bilbo's bound hands to the bar across the headboard.

Bilbo's arms were above his head, suspended above the bed at an angle with enough give in the rope to wiggle, but not enough to touch himself (or anyone else). His legs were both spread wide, also at an upward angle, the rope having been looped through the hoops built-in beneath the carving on the posters. He was naked, displayed, and vulnerable.

Cautiously, Bilbo asked, "What if I don't like it? Or if it starts to hurt?"  
"Well, you'd tell us, I hope," Fili said. "Especially if it hurts or you start to ache. We will get you down in an instant."  
"But," Bofur said, "Choose your words carefully. If you say, 'no, I can't take it' when you're tied like this, we'll immediately stop and free you. If you mean what you usually do when you say it, you're going to ruin your own good time."  
Bilbo nodded as best he could. "Understood."

Fili and Bofur took turns at claiming Bilbo's lips before their attention turned southward. Bofur hovered over one of Bilbo's pierced nipples. 

"Have these healed enough?" he asked.  
Bilbo replied, "Yes."  
"Bless the maker!"

Bofur licked and nibbled, pulling both nub and ring into his mouth with a gentle suction. Bilbo moaned and squirmed. Taking in Bilbo's reaction, Fili paused to take a moment of his own to tease the other ring. 

"Aren't you going to get undressed?" Bilbo asked.  
Answered Fili, "Not this time."  
"You were right," Bofur chimed in. "There _is_ something exciting about being dressed while you are at my mercy."  
"I feel I'm beyond at your mercies, displayed like this," Bilbo said.  
"Enjoy it," Bofur urged him. "Unless you wish to stop?"  
"No, please!" implored Bilbo, suddenly embarrassed by his emphatic protest. 

Bilbo felt hands, tongues, lips, seemingly everywhere on his body, punctuated by the occasional brush of clothes against his increasingly sensitive flesh. He felt _exposed_ , his skin flushing with the heat of a sudden shyness he could do nothing about unless he was willing to call for the end. Humming and groaning, he moved against his restraints, trying to lean into delight and retreat from the more tickling touches. Fili had been blocking his view when he felt the slick heat of Bofur's tongue on his arsehole. The mewls spilling from Bilbo sounded to him as though they belonged to someone else. 

With Bofur lapping at Bilbo's entrance, Fili leaned forward to take in the hobbit's cock. Facing each other while they pleasured their whimpering, writhing lover, Fili locked eyes with Bofur. Though they were doing wicked things to someone outside their bond, there was a shared intimacy in the obscene moment. 

Feeling (and hearing) Bilbo growing close to his climax, Fili pulled away from him. 

Bofur's continued licking into Bilbo, his eyes following Fili. He watched Fili pause at the oil dish, snatching up the bottle used for filling it instead of simply slicking his fingers. Bofur's cock flexed within the confines of his trousers, madly hard, as Fili took a place next to Bofur on the foot-bench, in between the V of Bilbo's outstretched legs. 

Fili opened the bottle, sharing some of the slick with Bofur. Bilbo's eyes stretched open with curiosity and his breaths came more shallowly. A mischievous look spread across Fili's features.

"We'll need to prepare you for your lover, of course," Fili said. "Isn't that what we promised you all those weeks ago?"  
Bilbo gulped a breath. "I don't seem to recall you mentioning this specifically."  
"Well," Fili drawled. "I thought it was implied."  
Bilbo let his head drop back, his neck aching from lifting it to watch. "Merciful Eru!"

Bofur was allowed the first touch, smoothing around Bilbo's opening enticingly before dipping inside. With very little effort, one digit fully disappeared. Fili added the next, also sliding in easily. 

"Kee must keep you properly fucked open for this to be so easy," Fili teased.  
"Oh," Bilbo attempted to retort, breathlessly. "I figured you two would know all about being fucked open."

Grinning, Fili's index finger joined his middle and ring fingers inside the panting hobbit. 

Flirtatiously, he noted, "Perhaps, but I've never been stretched two cocks wide. I must say, I don't know how you manage it. Perhaps we need to see a demonstration?"  
"What?" asked Bilbo, nervous.  
"Fingers only, of course," Fili reassured him. "Go ahead, Bo. Let's see how wide he can stretch."  
Bilbo emitted a small whine, but did not ask for them to stop.

Bofur moved gently within Bilbo, making sure he was ready to take more. Adding more oil, he slipped his index and middle fingers inside him alongside Fili's. Bilbo grunted, twisting his body, straining the rope and gasping. 

"Mahal bless me," Bofur murmured, admiring Bilbo stretched around them. He pulled his fingers slightly to the side. 

"What an interesting way to stretch," Fili commended him, pulling in the opposite direction. "Oi, I can almost see inside you, Bee."  
"P-please," Bilbo begged.  
"Please what?"  
Moaning, Bilbo replied, "Fuck, I don't know!"

Bilbo glanced down, observing Fili hungrily eying his erection, which was steadily oozing from the stimulation. Fili leaned over and whispered something to Bofur that won him an arousing moan of his own. Unable to see what Bofur was doing with his hands, Bilbo drew in a stunned breath when a sixth finger breached him, pad-side up, directly in the middle. He still felt the deliciously agonizing pressure of Fili and Bofur pulling him open, and Bofur's added digit manipulated circles, seeking a particular prize. Bilbo keened when Bofur found it. 

Whispering dirty words of encouragement to Bofur and Bilbo, Fili felt a throbbing urgency in his own cock. 

His voice rising higher, Bilbo pleaded, "Touch...please, touch me."  
Fili reached out to him, but Bofur said, "No."  
Bilbo wailed Bofur's name brokenly in protest.  
Panting and affected himself, Bofur said, "Just a little longer..."  
When he had Bilbo strung out to the exact point where he wanted him, Bofur nudged Fili.

After moments that seemed to Bilbo like hours, Fili grasped his cock. Rapidly, Bilbo spent hard, spurting against his stomach, his whole body as taut as he could manage in his predicament. Dry sobs emitted from his lips as Bofur and Fili massaged every possible drop of pleasure from him. Originally, Bilbo thought they meant only to prepare him for Kili, perhaps get in a few teases here and there. He hadn't expected an orgasm, much less an explosive one, pulled so incredibly open. 

Fili's head dropped forward as he felt Bilbo's arse struggle to snap against their combined digits. Bilbo was stuffed as full as Fili could imagine a body being. At the end, Fili carefully removed his hand. Sliding from the bench, he walked around and climbed on the bed, kneeing his way over to Bilbo and rapidly unlacing his trousers. 

Bofur asked, "What are you doing?"  
"I'm going to burst in my trousers if I don't get off," Fili said, pumping his cock.  
"Here? Now?" Bilbo breathed.  
"Right here, right now," answered Fili, positioning himself just to the side of Bilbo's face.

Bofur didn't disengage from Bilbo just yet, worrying about Bilbo's potential discomfort if he had to adjust too quickly from all to nothing. Relishing the feeling of touching Bilbo this intimately was also no small part of it. Not having been to bed with him since his moment of clarity, Bofur found himself half-drunk on the heat of Bilbo wrapped tightly around him. His cock strained more tightly against his trousers, craving that heat too. He eyed Fili working himself over. He left him to it, as Fili and Bilbo were both clearly enjoying it, and waited for his own chance.

*****

Kili watched Bilbo's seduction play out from the hall, carefully peering through the open part of the door and staying out of Bilbo's sight. He smiled to himself when all it took was the mention of Kili's name to allow himself to be tied up. Stifling moans, he palmed himself through the fabric of his clothes as Fili and Bofur unraveled his lover. He had asked them to make Bilbo come at least once and they delivered it more beautifully than he had anticipated. He could see the lingering desperation on Bilbo's face, knowing full well that coming at their hands was only the beginning for him. Bilbo was going to need more to satisfy the needs of his body and his bond, and Kili could hardly wait to give it to him.

Wetting his lips, he watched Fili position himself just above Bilbo's face and shoulders. Oh, Fee was going to _love_ getting off like this, splashing against Bilbo's skin and Bilbo unable to do anything about it--and he knew Bilbo was going to love it just as much. He wondered what finale Bofur had in store before they left Bilbo to Kili for the planned trade-off.

*****

Even with Bofur's digits still within him, Bilbo felt a dull emptiness inside. As bone-shaking as it was, his orgasm made him desperately want--need--something deeper, something more, something that would tingle through his bloodstream.

Close to coming, Fili's palm seized Bilbo at the scalp, firmly holding his head in place. Fili curled forward, but not far enough downward to feed himself into Bilbo's mouth.

Realizing this, Bilbo whined, "I want to taste."  
"Open your mouth then, and we'll see what falls inside," Fili managed cheekily, even though his breaths were coming quick.

When Fili burst, he intentionally painted Bilbo's cheek and chin, extra mindful of his eyes (because Bilbo couldn't reach them), and only allowed a few faint drops onto Bilbo's eager, outstretched tongue. Bilbo puffed out little grunts as he strained to get more. 

Easing out of Bilbo, Bofur observed him struggling to get whatever he could from Fili. Bilbo's seeming _need_ for it--and Fili's delight in teasing him--sent a fresh pulse of desire through Bofur. The two of them drove him to distraction, both apart as well as together. 

When it was over, Fili glanced over Bilbo's newly striped face. He was pleased with himself.  
"Mmmm, quite nice," he said, lacing himself up and scooting off the bed. 

Fili and Bofur exchanged a look Bilbo didn't understand, but it seemed Bofur did, because he started unlacing his own trousers. Bilbo's cock was already hardening again, even as Bofur presented his, his eyes burning into Bilbo's as he groaned and smoothed his hand down his own length. Bilbo felt his hole flutter.

Seeing Bilbo presented so--his entrance wide, slick, and seemingly quivering--made Bofur truly _ache_ down to his stones. There was no longer any doubt in Bofur's mind of how badly he wished to be inside Bilbo, to fuck him, to make love to and mark him. Bofur swallowed hard, reaching out to gently run a thumb along the still-unusually broadened expanse of Bilbo's arsehole. Bilbo sucked in a breath, softly sighing it out with an encouraging noise. It made Bofur feel light-headed. He wanted Bilbo madly, terribly, incredibly. He tipped forward into a new position. Supporting himself on the bed with one hand and holding himself firmly in the other, he slowly rubbed the head of his cock around the rim of Bilbo's entrance, aided by the slick he and Fili had left behind. He bit his lip and closed his eyes, shuddering out a ragged exhale.

Bilbo watched Bofur with wide, curious eyes as he felt Bofur's prick tracing his opening. What was Bofur playing at? Was he _playing_ at all? Gods, Bilbo wanted to know what was going through Bofur's mind, but he was as afraid to ask as he was dying to know. Bilbo furtively glanced over to see if Fili was noticing this. He didn't seem to be, over in the crack of the door, seemingly glancing out. He supposed perhaps Fili was checking for Kili. He returned his full attention to Bofur, scarcely daring to breathe. 

Bofur met Bilbo's gaze. Bilbo looked apprehensive, as Bofur had expected, but the expression on his face was also unmistakably hungry. Bofur's eyes flicked down to Bilbo's cock, hard again as though they hadn't just wrung him out. Could he--was it possible he was thinking of the same thing Bofur was? Wishing for it? It would be so easy just to slip inside, Bilbo already wide and waiting for him. Bofur's tongue ran over his lips as filthy and forbidden thoughts floated through the arousal-addled haze in his mind. 

Bilbo studied Bofur's face, knowing well his own must mirror the same needful desire. His eyes followed Bofur's tongue as it darted out of his mouth.

"Bo," Bilbo whispered, part questioning, part imploring. 

Something suspended between them--stilling them, uniting them even as it separated them, as though they were the only two living beings in the Shire--and it hung in the air for several moments. Bofur could hear his heart pound in his ears, seemingly in time with Bilbo's quick breaths that were moving his chest hypnotically up and down.

*****

Fili had gone to the door to stealthily check in with his brother, whom he knew had been watching from the hall. They exchanged a silent conversation: The raising of Kili's eyebrows and a grin asking Fili, "How was it?" and Fili's own huge smile and ecstatic eye roll as the answering, "Fantastic." Suddenly, Kili stood up on tiptoe with a queer look on his face, as though he was trying to see past Fili. Still wearing his grin, Fili turned around to see what was so captivating. Bofur hovered, lined up against Bilbo as though he was about to penetrate him, seemingly massaging at the opening. A second silent conversation appeared to be happening across the room, on the bed. Though shocked by this turn of events, Fili stood quietly and waited.

*****

A decision was made, though later Bofur could not say which one of them made it for certain. He leaned back, retrieved the oil bottle from where it had rolled, and poured a generous amount into his hand.

Bilbo's throat tightened when Bofur reached for the oil. The tendrils of desire lazily swirling through his abdomen turned urgent, jolting past his core. His mind knew this couldn't, shouldn't happen--several discussions should be had, futures were to be considered, agreements would need to be made, and just perhaps it wouldn't do to be helpless if something like this was to transpire--but his body betrayed him with a twitching cock and as much arching need as he could manage in this position. However, the anticipated breach didn't happen. 

Bofur sought his own completion with his newly oiled hand, rubbing hard lines into his thigh with the other. It would not take him long at all to finish like this. The past several moments of intensity with Bilbo were like an hour's worth of play, winding him up tightly and fitting to burst. His glance darted down to Bilbo's exposed entrance and Bofur pondered coming on it, leaving Bilbo a mess as though he had just been fucked. The mere thought of it pushed Bofur there faster. He didn't know how much Kili could see from the door, though, and for the second time in as many minutes, his sense prevailed. Instead, he came with a shout, spilling out over Bilbo's hard cock as well as his stones. He looked up into Bilbo's eyes, noting with pleasure they were still filled with arousal and...surely that could not be disappointment?

*****

The tension in Fili's chest whooshed in release when he realized Bofur only meant to tease Bilbo. For a moment, he thought Bofur might actually go through with it.

*****

Bilbo supposed he should be relieved Bofur hadn't taken advantage of his position. It would have surely thrown their lives into chaos. Still, the fantasy of it kept Bilbo's prick hard and sped his breath when he felt the tantalizing texture of clothing-on-skin as Bofur ducked under one of the raised legs and crawled up his side.

Next to Bilbo's ear, Bofur purred a confession. "I would love to feel your fuck."

Bilbo's heartbeats doubled as his blood raced in his veins once again. He turned, agape, only to find Bofur retreating and lacing himself back up again. Fili opened the door and Bofur disappeared past it, leaving Bilbo almost wondering for a moment if he had heard it at all. Fili looked as though he was leaving, too, and Bilbo called out, not sure what was to become of him in the meantime. 

"Where are you going? Is Kee on his way?"  
Fili shrugged. "Maybe. I mean, eventually, right? He sleeps here."  
"What do you mean, maybe? I thought you three set this up!"  
"Well, Bo and I did."  
"Kee wasn't involved?" cried Bilbo.  
Fili smirked convincingly and avoided the question. "Won't he get a surprise when he sees you, all wanton, filthy, and used when he gets home."  
Bilbo dropped his head back. "Yavanna's Grace, you have to be joking! Fee, are you joking?"  
Grinning wide, Fili said, "I guess you'll find out."  
Fili, too, disappeared into the hall.

Bilbo wiggled in his restraints. "Fuck! Fee! Bo! You're kidding with me, right?"

No answer came.

Bilbo considered the rope at his feet and hands. He recognized it as Elvish rope, made of something called _hithlain_. Estel had taught him of it one day when Bilbo came upon him building a contraption with it, eventually giving each of them (with Lord Elrond's permission) their own coils of varying lengths for utility on their road home and beyond. Thanks to Estel's instruction, Bilbo knew if he truly wanted down, all he would have to do is pull with honest intent and it would release him. He tested a leg, but it held fast. 

_Interesting_. 

BIlbo's sexual play with the dwarrows had taken him into many strange corners of physicality, intimacy, intensity, and vulnerability, some never lit by so much as his imagination before. This was certainly one of them, perhaps a little more odd than some of the others, but Bilbo's curiosity outweighed his fear--the rope still holding him firmly was the tangible proof of that. He wondered if Fili or Bofur knew or had known he could free himself whenever he was truly finished being restrained.

*****

In the hall, Fili winked at Kili and murmured, "Don't make him suffer too long." 


	14. Part Of The Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili plays out his part in the afternoon's sex games.

For a moment, Kili curiously watched Bilbo thoughtfully take in his surroundings. Though he would not have been able to bear Bilbo getting upset about Fili's maddeningly vague exit, Kili was rather fascinated with Bilbo's unexpectedly quiet calm about being left alone, tied up, and covered in semen. Kili nearly finished the game right there in order to shower him with pure adoration (though he wouldn't have untied Bilbo _quite_ yet), but he had a sense Bilbo would be just this side of disappointed if Kili didn't continue at least some of the planned ruse. He smiled to himself. Truly, would he ever stop falling more in love with this hobbit? 

Schooling his expression, he tiptoed further away from the bedroom to make his approach more authentic.

*****

Bilbo heard Kili call for him down the hall.

"I'm in the bedroom!" Bilbo answered. 

Kili opened the door and froze. "Well, well. I should say you are."

Bilbo's feeling of over-exposure renewed when Kili's gaze swept over him...along with his arousal. 

Kili moved to stand at the side of the bed. "You've been playing without me," he accused. " _Coming_ without me."  
Bilbo swallowed hard. "Yes."  
"How did you wind up like this? How did it get this far for you to be so...used?"

Bilbo studied Kili's face, but his expression was frustratingly neutral. His tone was stern, though, and Bilbo felt a creeping doubt that Kili had actually signed off on this adventure. He chose his words carefully.

"Fili made me an offer to show me something new, for him and Bofur to get me ready for you. I accepted, and they prepared me for your inevitable arrival."  
Kili walked around to the end of the bed. "'Prepared you' is an understatement. You are still gaping as wide as if Thorin and I had just finished sharing you at the same time. What about that? Did they fuck you, my jewel?"  
"No! No imprinting. It was all, um, fingers."

Kili ran a digit through the semen on Bilbo's stones.

"Seems to be an awful lot of come down here for someone who was not marked. Indeed, you seem considerably coated in general for merely 'getting you ready for me,' as you say. Still," he bent closer, making a show of inspecting the area, "None seems to be seeping from your arse."

Standing again, Kili's tongue flicked out, obscenely tasting the seed on his finger.

He glanced at Bilbo with raised eyebrows. "Bo?"  
Bilbo's cock flexed on its own. "Yes."  
Smirking, Kili said, "I should have known."

Walking back around to the side of the bed, Kili took his tunic off as he went. He rubbed a full palm through the mess on Bilbo's stomach. 

"And this is yours, obviously. I hope it was enjoyable, at least," Kili said, hoping he sounded appropriately brusque. "Who did it for you, hmm? Was it my brother or was it Bo who unraveled you?"

Bilbo wasn't sure how much of Kili's inspection was playing and how much was interrogation. It didn't seem to matter either way to his body, which was starting to twitch and vibrate with want.

"Both," he admitted. "They had their fingers in me, and Fili tugged me off."  
"Both of them had fingers inside you while Fili stroked you? How filthy of them. I'll bet you squirmed and begged for it, too. How many fingers did they stuff you with to get your hole to remain so stretched, I wonder?"

Bilbo could feel the arousal oozing from the tip of his cock, even as his face burned.

"I don't know," he replied. "I couldn't see and they didn't tell me. It felt like it was all of them."  
"I'll bet it did," Kili said, leaning in.

Bilbo thought he was going to get a kiss, but Kili licked his face clean of semen instead.

Kili hummed. "Mm, and this was Fee, wasn't it?"  
"Yes."  
"And how did you think I was going to feel about all of this when I got home? To find you spread and wrecked without me?"  
Bilbo took a breath and attempted reason through the haze of his desire. "Truthfully, I thought you'd enjoy coming home to find me presented for you. I didn't know it was going to be quite like this, or that I would be so thoroughly, ah, _experienced_ prior to your arrival, but I'll confess I had complete power to stop it and never uttered a word against it. I desperately wanted the pleasures they bestowed upon me, and I wanted to see their pleasure, too. The fault of finding me covered in all this spend was ultimately mine and mine alone."

Kili admired Bilbo not laying blame on Fili or Bofur, though Kili knew full well Bilbo had been seduced into this plan. 

"As your husband, what do you think I should do about this?" inquired Kili.

Bilbo met his eyes and took the chance that Kili was either in on the game, or at least amenable to joining it. 

He said, "What I hope is that you satisfy me, and satisfy yourself in the process. I need you, Kee."  
"Ah yes, I'll bet you do," Kili said, his tone carrying hints of both danger and mischief. "Poor hobbit love--stuffed full of fingers yet dripping with no dwarf's claim. I'm surprised you haven't been begging."  
Bilbo wet his lips. "I will beg if you need it."

Kili took a moment to remove his boots and his trousers. 

"It isn't me who is the needy one right now," remarked Kili.  
Hungrily looking over Kili's erection, Bilbo sassed back, "Your hard prick says otherwise."

Kili climbed on the bed. "You aren't in a position to be cheeky, you know. Of course I want you, but that doesn't mean I have to fill you. I could have you selfishly if I wished."

Facing Bilbo's feet, Kili straddled his torso. He bent forward, resting his head on Bilbo's hip, using both hands to expose his arse in front of Bilbo's face. When he spoke, he knew he was close enough to Bilbo's cock for the hobbit to feel his teasingly hot breath. 

"You've been dirty without me today. Maybe I don't want to give you the satisfaction of the fuck you crave. Maybe I'd rather open myself for you, just like this, making you watch as punishment for your indiscretion. Then, perhaps I'd ride you until I finished."  
"Kee!" Bilbo protested.  
"You'd have a chance to finish, too, of course. I'd make it good for both of us, even if I am a bit cross with you for taking Fili and Bofur to bed without me."  
"That's not what I want and you know it. Please Kee. _Please_ , I'm begging. I need to feel it. I'll plead, I'll apologize, I'll even put it in a song to croon into your ear at a later date, just please, take care of it. Fill me," implored Bilbo, croaking out the final plea. 

Bilbo kept his gaze on Kili as he climbed off him, oiled his cock, and positioned himself at the foot of the bed. Bilbo's restrained legs angled in such a way that Kili could not drape himself across his body the way Bilbo loved. Gripping Bilbo's hips, Kili adjusted them both in order to slide inside and buried himself to the root with one stroke. Bilbo's loosened body welcomed the intrusion; he whined in relief.

Kili had intended to keep up the charade long enough to taunt Bilbo to his finish, but the hobbit's heat wrapped around him melted his remaining resolve. A handful of strokes in, Kili was unable to hold back the tide of lust and love any longer.

Passionately, Kili confessed, "I admit I did this. I set up your seduction. I was in the hall watching them pet, kiss, and caress you, wanting you like mad the whole time--so much so, I nearly ended it a half dozen times simply to be able to touch you myself."  
"Why did you arrange this?" Bilbo asked.

Kili had slowed down but did not stop moving within him while they spoke. 

He panted, "Fili told you the truth: I wanted to do something particularly special to make up for the way I spoke to you during our fight. Fee reminded me we had not experienced some of the more unique features of our bed and it sparked an idea in my mind. I decided I wanted you to be pleased in a way heretofore unknown to you."  
"You could have joined them. Obviously I wanted you terribly."  
"The first part of this was for you. Fee and Bo taking their own liberties was not part of the specific plan, though I cannot imagine it was unwelcome."  
"No, it wasn't," Bilbo agreed, breathless. "But what of the second part?"  
"Me happening upon you after? That was for both of us, to reveal myself as pleasure's architect as well as to finish what they started. I hoped to play cold a while longer and draw out the game for you, but I'm unable to resist the natural impulses that flood me whenever we are together like this. I cannot help it, Bee--I adore you so much, I ache."

Kili tried to lean forward to kiss Bilbo's face, but Bilbo tied up--coupled with Kili's position at the end of the bed--kept him from being able to do it while still inside him. He made a noise of frustration. 

In that moment, Bilbo wanted nothing more in the world than to hold Kili close and feel his kiss. He groaned Kili's name, craned his neck, and struggled to meet him. All three of the restraints gave way immediately. Bilbo wrapped his legs around Kili's hips, unwound his hands, and urged his lover forward. When Kili leaned close enough, Bilbo threaded his newly-freed fingers into his hair and pulled their mouths together.

Kissing Bilbo, Kili's thrusts increased with rising passion. Bilbo clutched and scratched at him, having broken his bonds for the pleasure to do so, and Kili felt the overwhelming intensity between them down to his marrow.

"Oh, my jewel, my warmest jewel," he rasped when they broke for air. "Your touches set me ablaze."

Bilbo felt his yearning to feel Kili spill inside him grow as frantic as Kili's apparent need to get there himself.

"Please. Now!" gasped Bilbo.

Kili came with a guttering cry, Bilbo under him whispering, "yes," over and over again until Kili's final waves of pleasure ebbed.

Resting his damp forehead against Bilbo's chest, Kili huffed a mighty sigh and relaxed while Bilbo stroked his hair lovingly. After several lazy moments, Kili's head flew up with a start. 

"Oh! You've not gotten yours!"  
Bilbo, calmed and oddly sated by the bond streaming at last through his veins, replied, "Haven't I?"

Kili smiled humbly at Bilbo's implied meaning. He shifted in preparation to slide out of him, still half-stiff, but Bilbo held him fast. 

"Not yet, if you please."  
"Wanted it that badly, yeah?" teased Kili gently.  
Purred Bilbo, "You have no idea."  
"Oh, I might have an inkling. Remember, I was watching. For a moment, it seemed as though you were so in need of penetration that you were going to let Bofur do it for me."

Bilbo's breath hitched, half in fear and half in fervent arousal. 

Kili noted the change in Bilbo's breathing, easily reading his expression for what it was. His voice dropped deeper with lust. 

"I thought sure he was going to fuck you," murmured Kili wickedly.

Wetting his lips, Bilbo searched Kili's face. 

Hardening inside him and not breaking their gaze, Kili licked the seam of Bilbo's mouth, drawing his head back before Bilbo could snatch his tongue.

"You wanted him to," Kili whispered dangerously. "Didn't you?"  
"Yes," Bilbo breathed.

Bilbo's raw honestly only served to provoke Kili's lust.

"Imagined yourself stretched around Bo's thick cock, I'll bet, wanting to feel full, so desperate to be _seeded_ , you could have forgotten yourself entirely, pleading and sobbing for it."  
Bilbo breathed out a ragged sigh. "Gods, _Kili_."  
Kili rolled his hips.  
"Fuck, you're erect again," Bilbo groaned.  
Reaching in between them, Kili smoothed a hand down Bilbo's shaft. "You're not exactly soft."

Kili pushed up to once more claim Bilbo's lips.

"Which reminds me--I owe you a proper finish," he said, his body undulating purposefully as his hand stroked in time.

Jolts of delight flew through Bilbo's core as Kili worked him, both within and without. His climax built with astonishing speed.

"I'll tell you a secret," Kili whispered conspiratorially, moving faster. "I would still have fucked you afterward. You would have been dripping with his come and I would still have fucked you, just like this."

His orgasm whipping through him, Bilbo keened with rapture, spurting between them. 

Kili did not pause. Instead, he rode Bilbo through his trembling climax, intent on chasing his own second finish. Being so close to his first, Kili came with pained pleasure and a choked laugh. He collapsed onto Bilbo afterwards. 

"Yavanna's grace, you surely do know what to say to goad me into coming," Bilbo said, sounding wrecked. "All your wicked fantasies."  
"You love my wicked fantasies," countered Kili. "The filthier the better."  
"I happen to believe you love making up obscene suggestions as much as I like hearing them."  
Kili grinned, adjusting to slip out of Bilbo. "I think we mutually benefit from my filthy mind."

Had his cock been able to do much more than twitch feebly at the moment, the unmistakable feeling of Kili's twice-over release dribbling from him would have made Bilbo hard again. 

"Besides, we've talked about that. About Bo, I mean," said Kili, scooting onto his side. "It makes it easier to spin the fantasy when I know what the truth is."  
Bilbo reached over to hold Kili's hand, his own fully free from the silver rope.  
"It is a good thing Bo was merely teasing, though," Kili added. "Can you imagine what Fee would have done if he had fully breached you?"  
Bilbo shook his head. "I shudder to think of it."

There had been a point in their encounter where Bofur had looked so raw, so real, that Bilbo almost got caught up in him entirely. In his current, blissful hindsight, he figured the whole thing to be a delicious taunt on Bofur's part--meant only to stoke Bilbo's desire to a conflagration. Though it had worked incredibly well, Bilbo figured the aftermath of Bofur following through on that afternoon's tease would have been disastrous had it been made reality.

Still, he'd seen Bofur fuck Fili nearly in two--rough, relentless, making his lover wail in the most frantic delight--and he had seen them come together in the most passionate, heartfelt unions. Fantasizing what it would be like in such scenarios, being the one giving it to Bofur or taking it from him...well, Bilbo had managed to scandalize himself most awfully letting his mind wander like that. Though those thoughts were pushed firmly away for now, Bilbo knew he'd be bringing them back around for a later wank.

Kili and Bilbo held each other tenderly, their whispered words of sweet adoration a stark contrast to the prior, forbidden lewdness of the afternoon. Having been the one tied up and used, Bilbo found the softness between them to be a welcome comfort. Moreover, Kili seemed to need the affection as much as he did. Bilbo relaxed happily in Kili's arms. What a day it had been!

*****

Although they had originally planned to watch, Fili and Bofur wound up leaving Kili alone with Bilbo. The decision to go had come about organically and without discussion. Bofur not lingering in the hall was one reason, and the obvious need painted all over Kili's face when Fili emerged was another. Fili wasn't too disappointed by the change, however. He had to admit to needing a touch of fresh air himself after this particular experience. It has been far more erotic and exhilarating than he could have guessed, though (momentarily) also troubling.

Standing a little ways down the hill from Bagshot Row, Bofur said to Fili, "I could do with a beer, how 'bout you?"  
"At the very least," Fili agreed. 

Bofur pulled him in for a quick kiss and they set off in the direction of the Green Dragon. 

Fili hoped the crisp, cool breeze could help clear the image of Bofur's prick pressed so intimately against Bilbo (as well as the searing, yearning look that had passed between them) from his mind. By the time they reached the door of the tavern, Fili indeed felt much lighter. After all, hadn't it all been simply part of the game?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love and appreciate anyone who is still reading.


	15. Interlude:  Meanwhile In Rivendell/Meanwhile at Beorn's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What it says on the tin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates today. If you did not see Kili's conclusion to the bed games, go back one. 
> 
> If you are the type of reader who is compelled to comment, I encourage you to take a moment to leave one on each of today's chapters if they moved you in any way. I would appreciate it ever so much <3

Bifur stirred awake. There was a strange, throbbing feeling in his forehead that was not quite pain, though it certainly was not normal. As his eyes adjusted, he noticed he was not alone in his room. 

"Well, well, well. He's not in a coma, after all," Nori joked. "I would have placed a bet with someone, but it seems elves don't wager the way dwarrows do. Made me miss our Company, I can tell you that much."

Bifur reached up to touch where the axe used to be, only feeling a thick bandage and a twinge when he put pressure on it. While his mind tried to break free of its grogginess, he searched the fog of his memory. He could recall this hadn't been the first time he had woken since Elrond had removed the axe, but there were no memories of the in-betweens. He glanced at Nori, who seemed to understand his bewilderment.

"You've been in and out of consciousness frequently since the procedure. Lord Elrond managed to remove the axe without killing you, I'm sure you've figured, and he's been sedating you while he works on trying to mend whatever was interfering with your Common. Each time you wake, you seem to have very little recollection of what has gone on since it all came to pass. Don't let it concern you overly much, though. He said confusion was to be expected."

Nori's informational speech sounded smooth and practiced. Bifur realized Nori must have had to update him more than simply this once. He opened his mouth to test his speech in whichever language might spill forth first, but Nori held up his hand. 

"He's not finished with whatever Elvish magic he's doing yet, and he would prefer if you didn't try speaking until he was," said Nori. 

Bifur sighed. Given an (albeit infuriatingly vague) update on his own condition, he turned his attention to Nori's rough appearance. The dwarf looked as though he hadn't slept in far too long, and weary worry outlined his features. Bifur's expression changed to concern. 

"Now, don't you go thinking I've been sitting vigil or anything at your bedside, like you're special or something like that," Nori sniffed. "I've merely been charged with sitting here until one of the healers return, in case you woke and tried to do anything stupid like talk."  
Bifur crossed his arms, not buying Nori's tough and aloof act for a moment.  
"Really," Nori yawned. "I assure you, I could scarcely care less."  
Raising his eyebrows, Bifur shot Nori a look.  
Insisted Nori, "I'm tellin' you, another what? Six or seven hours and that was going to be _it_. I mean it."

Bifur quirked a smile; Nori was unable to resist returning it. 

"Tit," Nori said fondly, fixing him a cup of water from the pitcher at the bedside. "Whenever you wake, Lord Elrond says it is important for you to drink as much as you can."

Though he felt weak, Bifur was able to hold the water to drink by himself. He drained three cups before shaking his head at the offer of another. 

"Sleep again if you can," Nori urged him. "It is an important part of your recovery...or at least, so I've heard."

Somehow, Bifur figured Nori knew more of the finer particulars about his care than his attempted nonchalance let on. Bifur relaxed into his pillow and smiled again, thinking how lucky he was to have one of his battle brothers there with him in the middle of such an ordeal. It made him miss Bofur and Bombur all the more, though he suspected they would have been too worried to be effective healer's assistants. 

So, the axe was gone and Bifur still lived. He did not want to be ungrateful, as progress of that nature alone spoke volumes of the elf's considerable skill, but he fervently hoped Lord Elrond would yet be able to pull off the improbable task of fully restoring his speech.

Until the waking world once again fell away, Bifur let himself imagine what it would be like to share his voice with Rorimac.

*****

With an unexpected run of unseasonably pleasant weather, Thorin's group managed to arrive at Beorn's home by sundown of the day after Gandalf left. Beorn apologetically only had beds for a precious few, though he invited the remaining group to camp the night in the barn and on the immediately surrounding property. Despite the offer of a room in the house, Thorin opted to stay in the camp with his folk. It did not feel right to him to have the luxury of a bed when they all suffered from the same weariness.

Dís pulled Thorin aside and expressed her vehement displeasure with his decision. If she did not follow his example, she would seem spoiled to their traveling company, thereby losing respect. However, by following his example, she was to be denied a night in a proper bed with her Chosen. 

Just as Thorin finished reeling from Dís's private but firm dressing down on the matter, Dwalin came to him to thank him. Apparently, Dís had been pressing to consummate their bond in light of their betrothal, but Dwalin was firmly insisting on waiting until they were actually married before they bonded properly. They had already had several arguments on the subject, and Dwalin explained a night with a bed at their disposal would only serve to renew their disagreement.

"Not that I want to get into my sister's bed life, but what would the harm be?" Thorin asked. "She's been married, she's had children...she is well aware of the particulars."  
"Yes, _she_ has done this before, and I've had to make peace with that, but _I_ haven't," Dwalin pointed out.  
Teased Thorin, "I know you haven't had a bondmate, but you've played up under enough frocks to have an idea of how it should go."  
"Of course I know how it should go, but I haven't waited this long to court the Princess to do it with any less than the proper ceremonies. I know you didn't wait with Bilbo, and I'll refrain from pointing out the specific difficulties that sprouted from _that_ decision, but at least Bilbo had no chance of carrying your children in the middle of it all."  
_Ah,_ Thorin thought.  
"Have you explained it like this to Dís?" Thorin asked.  
"Not in so many words. When she starts to get angry about it, I distract her with the pleasures we _can_ share without compromising our courtship or conceiving a child before we are able to wed."  
"I definitely do not need to discuss your, um, pleasures with my sister, Dwalin," Thorin said, wrinkling his nose. "However, that's twice you have mentioned children. Remember, Dís is the mother of two grown children already, with nearly eight decades past the last. She might not be able to have another."  
"You do not need to take such a concerned tone. Despite Kili's age, Dís is not yet past her potential bearing years. Although I've appreciated seeing Fili and Kili grow, she and I want one of our own to raise together, conceived in the intensity of our love."  
Well, that was an image Thorin simply had not wanted. "Understood. Just..."  
"Just what?" Dwalin pressed.  
Thorin thought better of it. "Erm, nothing. What is between the two of you is yours alone, whether it involves your bonding or future family. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go stare into the sun and try to burn away any traces of evidence this conversation ever happened."

Dwalin laughed raucously and clapped Thorin on the shoulder, leaving him to himself. 

Thorin shook his head as he watched Dwalin retreat further into camp. He hoped Dís and Dwalin wouldn't be too disappointed if children did not come to pass for them. It was uncommon for a dwarrowdam to conceive so many decades apart, and Thorin had never once heard of it happening after the death of a mate. It was likely that Dwalin's wish to start a family of his own with Dís might go fully ungranted.

****

Thorin resisted when Beorn and his animal host offered the traveling complement dinner, pointing out that Beorn was going to need all his stores for his homestead to last the winter. Citing how wagons from the North always intermittently visited with supplies throughout the season, Beorn insisted on feeding them that evening regardless. No amount of Beorn's protests were going to keep Thorin from helping prepare it, though, and Dís, Dori, Óin, and Dwalin all joined him in feeding the large group. Working side by side with Beorn's animals (somewhat disconcerting in and of itself), Thorin wondered how they had cared for themselves while Beorn was away. They all looked improbably hardy and healthy despite their master's absence.

Being in Beorn's home again flooded Thorin with shameful memories of his failed attempt at seducing Bilbo back into his arms. After all this time, the embarrassment of it still stung. He had been desperate, having no idea at the time the arrangement they had now was possible. He would not have been notably open to the idea back then, anyway, nor would he have had the slightest idea how to propose or arrive at such an agreement if he was. Being honest with himself, sometimes Thorin still did not quite know how his marriage to Bilbo came to pass. 

Taking their meal with his company in camp, Thorin glanced back at the house. Bilbo had said he always carried love for him, only realizing after he married Kili that he might have asked for both. Thorin tried to envision Bilbo sitting on the porch as Kili had recalled, crying and pondering running after his wagon that chilly, sad morning when Thorin carried only the memory of the love in Bilbo's eyes, jars of precious honey, and the faintest ember of dwindling hope back to Erebor.

****

While the travelers bedded down for the night, Thorin found himself drifting back into Beorn's home. He stood in the parlor and stared into the flickering hearth, picturing the many nights Bilbo, Fili, Kili, and Bofur must have spent around it: too thin and too threadbare, but oh so happy. He squeezed his eyes shut and wondered why he insisted on torturing himself with the past when the future had become so much brighter.

"The last time you stood there, I had been angry with you for disrupting the peace they had found in my home," a deep voice said from behind him.

Thorin startled and spun around. Seeing Beorn illuminated in the firelight, he felt silly for jumping at the sound.

"I-I didn't mean to intrude," Thorin said, apologetic. "I'm not sure why I came back in when I should be sleeping outside with the rest."  
Unfazed, Beorn continued, "As I said, I had been angry with you."  
Sighing, Thorin admitted, "I was angry with myself. I did not behave honorably."  
Beorn nodded in agreement. "I smelled the desperation on you immediately."  
"Then why did you allow me to stay?"  
"Because of Bilbo. He loved you, and Kili had his own questions that only your presence could have answered for him."  
"Did they tell you that?"  
Beorn answered with a slight shake of his head.  
Bowing shallowly, Thorin said, "I formally offer you sincere apologies for bringing discord into your generous home. I suppose I was thinking mostly of myself at the time."  
Replied Beorn, "And Bilbo."  
A wistful smile stole across Thorin's face and he briefly glanced down at his feet. "Always Bilbo, my friend. Always."  
"I know," Beorn said kindly. "I knew the first time I met you that you were in love with him."  
Thorin looked up in surprise. "You did?"  
"It was all over you, in both scent and expression. I wondered at the time how it was all going to shake out, Little Bunny going into the Darkwood with three lovesick dwarves. I must admit, I had not figured you to be the first to confess your heart."  
"Three?" Thorin thought for a moment. "You mean Kili and Bofur? Even back then?"  
"I will only confirm because their current feelings are no secret to you. Yes, even back then," confirmed Beorn. 

Thorin turned this information over in his mind. It was one thing for Kili and Bofur to have alluded to having feelings for Bilbo for so long, but quite another for a third party to attest to it as well. For so many months, Thorin had thought his love for Bilbo to be the most righteous--the oldest and strongest. Was it possible he had merely been the one who had found his courage before the others? Of course, Bilbo's would-be suitors at the time were only the half of it. Bilbo was not an object to be won between them. Whom Bilbo had wanted mattered too--maybe most--and after many long nights of agonies between then and now, Bilbo had finally decided he wanted all three of them. 

Still, the curiosity was too much for Thorin. He had to ask. 

"And Bilbo? Whom did he love in those earliest days?"  
"That is Bilbo's confession to make," Beorn answered, firmly but not un-gently.

Thorin sighed in concession and he did not press. Nodding deeply as his "good night," he walked toward the door. Beorn softly called after him and he turned around. 

"I wish you all the best, I truly do. If you remember to consider Bilbo ahead of yourself in times of conflict, I believe it could very well work out between the five of you."  
"Thank you, Beorn. Bilbo is lucky to have you as a friend and ally, and so am I."

Beorn bowed in honored thanks.

*****

It wasn't until deep into the next night's camp, leagues away from Beorn and wrapped up on his bedroll, that Thorin's eyes flew open in sudden question.

"Five?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, friends!


	16. Bathed In Need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo had felt a inexplicable shyness around them since their explosive adventure...as well as a renewed and heated desire. It was a peculiar sensation for him, to be sure. Whenever his eyes had landed particularly on Bofur, Bilbo could almost hear Bofur whispering that lewdest of suggestions in his ear all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm using non centered breaks in the foursome scene to (hopefully) make the exchanges between couples more clear.

After Bilbo's surprise session, his arse needed the night off. A promised, brief overnight stay with relatives too far to get there and back from in a single fall evening appeared as though it would likely delay it one more. The reprieve from Bofur and Fili was both bitter and sweet. Bilbo had felt a inexplicable shyness around them since their explosive adventure...as well as a renewed and heated desire. It was a peculiar sensation for him, to be sure. Whenever his eyes had landed particularly on Bofur, Bilbo could almost hear Bofur whispering that lewdest of suggestions in his ear all over again. He'd smile to himself--occasionally blushing as well if Bofur met his gaze--and grow stiff in his trousers every time.

While Kili packed up a basket of baked goods they prepared to bring some of Bilbo's kinder relatives, Bilbo sat down to add more to his letter to Thorin.

_"You asked after my nightmares. I've not dreamed of the day at the gate since my first vision of Yavanna at Beorn's. It is my belief that she blessed me with their absence. Please do not dwell on those darkest of days, my love. The lessons have been deeply learned and there is nothing new to gain from revisiting them. There is much for which I am also sorry, so many tears I wish I had not made you shed, and I'm sure the future will not be free of my missteps. I do not wish to tempt misfortune by saying so, but I imagine I shall always find a way to forgive you. I hope you will do the same for me."_

He paused and thought. Should he tell Thorin about the breathless thrills of the hithlain and the bed? Regardless of Thorin's somewhat reluctant acceptance of Bofur into Bilbo's life and bed, Bilbo decided not to get too specific. Still, the desire to share and tantalize was strong. After a several moments, he grinned and went back to writing.

_"Kili and I are discovering interesting ways of delivering and receiving pleasure, thanks to a few coils of elvish rope and the carpentry innovations of Fili and Bofur. You already know they wickedly devised this bed to encourage deviant bedroom behavior. I must confess, I've been thinking of what it might be like for you to be restrained, able to do nothing but be stroked, licked, and explored until you could not stand it any longer. Even more than that, I've been envisioning being the one tied down myself, yours to take apart any way you wished. I've imagined you doing filthy things to me until I moan your name, shaking and stretched so taut with delight that my muscles would ache for days. I miss your face, your voice, and your company terribly, it is true, but merciful Eru! How I miss you in our bed! I did not have long enough with you to hold me over for this time we are to spend apart."_

"Bee? Weren't you wanting to try to make it there by dinner?" Kili called.  
"Quite right, dear heart. One moment," Bilbo answered as he set his letter aside, stood, and wrapped himself in his cloak. "I'm ready to go, now."

*****

Bofur sat with Ori, Thodora, Chadham, Fili, and Rorimac at the Green Dragon. Ori was chattering away excitedly about something or other, but Bofur was too inside his own head to pay much attention. Bilbo's sweet smiles and blushes had been turning Bofur inside out. Did that hobbit know how captivating they made him? Their adventure with the rope was delicious and new, but he missed the feeling of Bilbo in his arms, of their heated flesh pressed together. Instead of slaking his desire, their wild afternoon only made Bofur crave more--particularly with Bilbo's limbs free to fully respond to his caress. A morning and afternoon of heated looks and lingering touches had passed, an overnight was spent in Bag End with no Bilbo in it at all, and by his figuring, it was going to be at least another day before Bofur could foresee the opportunity for more of Bilbo naked in his arms.

If he closed his eyes and blocked out the din, Bofur could still see Bilbo, stretched out and panting for them while tied to his own bed. Bilbo's face had reflected such arousal and bright curiosity with each new revelation of their plan; the memory caused Bofur to shift in his chair. Oh, and how that hobbit had moaned! Bofur could still recall how tight and warm he was as he had stretched him, and when he came--Mahal's Mercy, when he _came_ \--he fluttered so wonderfully around them. Bofur wanted to feel that flutter somewhere far more personal. 

Leaning into Fili, Bofur hissed, "We need to go. Now."  
"What? But I was going to order another beer!" Fili protested.  
"Now, Fee. Please."

Fili glanced at Bofur, who was unusually flushed. The "please" had made up his mind to skip the last beer. Leaving out into the crisp autumn night, Fili was surprised to find himself yanked around to a small copse of evergreens back behind the Green Dragon and kissed nearly breathless. 

"Bo!" Fili gasped at his first opportunity. "What's this?"  
Bofur unlaced his trousers. "Suck me, Fee."  
"What?" Fili replied, glancing around. "Now? But can't it-"  
Bofur groaned with frustration, his cock stone-hard and aching. "-If you ever loved me, suck me right now."

Fili laughed at the overly dramatic response, but still dropped to his knees and wrapped his mouth around him. Bofur groaned--loudly--and Fili paused.

"If you can't wait until we get home, well, that's flattering, but you are going to have to keep it a bit quieter than that."

Fili went back to it and, though the hands on his shoulders tightened and dirty encouragement was whispered, no more loud outbursts were heard until Bofur was coming in his throat. After they were finished, Fili realized it had been foolish to worry. Nothing was keeping sober hobbits from their beer or their dinner, and the drunk ones probably couldn't have figured out where the noise was coming from, anyhow. 

Bofur moved to give Fili his turn, but Fili shook his head. 

"I can wait a little longer to be warm and comfortable with oil at the ready," Fili purred.  
"Oil, you say?"  
"Oh yes," Fili replied seductively. "For spreading and fucking you proper. What do you say?"

Bofur felt a moment of shame for thinking of Bilbo almost the whole time Fili had him in his mouth. Fili was a sexual dynamo himself, after all. Bofur kissed him. 

"I say we're wasting time," he replied.

*****

Bofur and Fili arrived back in Bag End, removing items of clothing as soon as the door was shut and leaving a trail of them down the hall on their way to the bathing room. Believing Bilbo and Kili to still be out visiting relations for a second night, they were stunned at the doorway to find Bilbo in the bath with Kili. They were on their knees, Bilbo's front pressed against Kili's back as he washed the other's chest sensuously. His head thrown back on Bilbo's shoulder in pleasure, a soft moan escaped Kili when he discovered they were not alone.

"We've picked up an audience," Kili said.  
Bilbo shot a smoldering look towards Fili and Bofur. "We're nearly finished here."

A firm palm pressed between Kili's shoulderblades and nudged him forward. Kili bent over the side of the tub, water droplets rolling down his skin and falling onto the floor. He could feel a wet flannel running down the length of his spine, into his cleft. The warmth and the softness of the flannel tantalized Kili. Responsive and pliant, Kili whimpered and let Bilbo play as long as he wanted.

Bilbo stood, helping Kili out of the bath. He wrapped his lover's favorite towel around him--Kili had remarked repeatedly how it was softer than the rest-- and dried him off, murmuring in his ear.

Bilbo, clearly the one in control of their bed this evening, turned to Fili and Bofur. "The water is yours, if you should like it. You are welcome-"  
Bilbo paused then, licking his lips, and letting his gaze salaciously rake up and down Fili's and Bofur's bodies.  
"- _Very welcome_ , to join us when you are through," Bilbo finished.

With Kili still draped in his towel, Fili and Bofur watched Bilbo lead him out of the room. 

"Well, had I not already been fit to burst, that would have done it," Fili said.  
Bofur groaned in agreement.  
"Seriously, what _was_ that?" Fili continued. "Some days, Bee is nothing but blushes and quivers; other times he's an absolute predator!"  
"Don't sound so incredulous--you are much the same way, you know."  
"Me?"  
"Absolutely you," Bofur said, pulling Fili in for a kiss.

*****

Bilbo smoothed Kili's damp towel over the bed and urged Kili up on it.

"Ach! It is freezing!" Kili complained.  
Bilbo joined him, laying him down and covering him.  
"Won't be for long," he murmured. 

While Bilbo kissed him, Kili felt the chilly spots warm to his skin as promised. He understood Bilbo's fastidious nature in wanting to keep the blanket clean--Bifur's beautiful needlework wouldn't survive long if it had to be washed every time they made love--but a part of him wanted Bilbo to be so lost to passion he forgot about the towel entirely. Something low in his abdomen flexed deliciously as he pictured Bilbo making him come on the bedspread...or Bilbo coming on it himself. He bucked up against Bilbo, making his lover groan.

Kili had known Bilbo was in a particularly libidinous mood tonight, but the ravenous look in his eyes when he pulled back to look at him sent a shiver through the whole of Kili's body. 

"What are you going to do to me?" whispered Kili, breathless in anticipation.  
Saying nothing, Bilbo reached for the oil dish.

*****

Bofur was keen on getting to Bilbo, but there was something about bath time with Fili--he was never willing to rush it. They soaped, rinsed, and washed hair, attentively and lovingly bathing each other.

Bathing with Bofur had become somewhat sacred to Fili. They had unbraided and first confessed their love this way--to say nothing of that first, brilliant, sexual taboo they had broken with their tongues. No matter how eager he was to follow Bilbo and Kili for some doubtlessly shameless play, he was unwilling to sacrifice these minutes they spent caring for one another.

*****

Bilbo had Kili bent double, using the backs of Kili's thighs to support himself while his hips moved steadily, only pausing for a slower rhythm to stave off his orgasm. Kili had lost track of how long Bilbo had had them both clinging along the precipice of bliss. With Bilbo folding him in half thus, Kili could not reach to finish himself.

Unable to stand it a moment longer, Kili managed to gasp, "Let me loose! I'm dying to come!"

Bilbo pulled back and nudged Kili onto his stomach. Kili took the suggestion and rolled over.

"No," Bilbo said, shaking his head though Kili couldn't see it. "Not on the bedspread--on your towel."

Grumbling inwardly, Kili did as requested. His irritation faded when Bilbo slipped inside him, only to bloom again when Bilbo draped his body heavily across Kili's back. He tried to wiggle a hand underneath himself, but Bilbo took both Kili's wrists and pinned them to either side of his head. 

Protested Kili, "I just told you I'm dying to come!"  
Breath hot next to Kili's skin, Bilbo replied, "And come you shall."  
"I can't get there like this tonight, else I would have already," Kili argued.  
"Move against me."  
"What?"  
"Do it," Bilbo commanded quietly. 

Kili rolled his hips, the soft friction from his favorite towel sending a shiver through him. He moved more, a soft whine escaping him.

"Like that," Bilbo murmured against the nape of his neck. "Use it...come on it."  
"You planned this," Kili accused breathlessly.  
A sensual hum of laughter was Bilbo's reply. 

Kili worked himself against the towel, back against Bilbo. For his part, Bilbo was still thrusting into him, his own moans growing more throaty. 

"I'm not going to hold out with both of us moving," Bilbo warned. "You'd better get there soon."

Kili was trying--undulating, panting, and vocalizing this frantic urgency in sounds beyond words--his core and thighs burning with the effort of moving both his weight and Bilbo's in order to chase his pleasure. Had he not been so fraught to come when Bilbo changed their position, his muscles might have given out before his body gave in. As it was, though, Kili felt that final, wonderful build while he still had strength to see it through.

"That's it," Bilbo encouraged. "Fuck, I'm-I'm--"

Surging forward, Bilbo was suddenly and loudly _there_. Moments later, Kili pulsed along with him, not bothering to be much quieter. As the rush abated, Bilbo collapsed against Kili's back.

"Off. Off!" Kili insisted.

Bilbo climbed off and Kili rolled over--careful to stay on the towel--wincing and slowly flattening out his body. Bilbo scooted to get off the bed. 

"No, wait, don't go just yet," Kili pleaded, his voice far less commanding than the moment before.  
"You said 'off.'"  
"I had to shift off my stomach because everything was aching. I didn't mean for you to get all the way up. Please, come here," Kili held out his arms, wanting Bilbo close to him after such an intense coupling. "I need you close."  
"It will only be a few moments, dear heart. As long as I'm off the bed, I'm going to clean up and bring over a flannel for you."

Happily relaxing again in anticipation of Bilbo's immediate return, Kili exhaled and closed his eyes. 

"Okay," he said.

*****

Kili's cries floated down the hall, leaving no trace of doubt that Bilbo was fucking him. Fili could not deny hearing Kili so thoroughly strung out gave his abdomen delightful flexes of the illicit pleasure he had been trying to avoid. The sounds of both orgasms from the other room rose and abruptly fell, leaving nothing more than the sounds of Fili's own breathing and the gentle noise of the water as it moved.

Hard again and fit to burst, Bofur stammered, "What do you think we should--I mean, do we do...what do we do?"

Bofur glanced towards the door, wanting Fili but also wanting what undoubtedly awaited them down the hall now that the ritual of their bathing had been done.

Fili sensed Bofur's struggle, but felt the pull too keenly himself to be bothered by it at the moment. 

Standing, he said, "I think we are overdue to join our bed hosts."  
"Aye," Bofur replied in a huff of relief, quickly getting out of the bath. "I wholeheartedly agree."

Drying off, Bofur smoothed a hand through Fili's hair. 

Carefully, he asked, "Do you wish to be plaited before we go?"  
"Do you?"  
Bofur shook his head.  
"Then neither do I."

*****

Bilbo and Kili were freshly done with their session when Bofur and Fili joined them in their room. Bilbo had been on the other side of the bed, cleaning himself up and just about to bring the flannel to Kili.

"What are you doing out of bed?" asked Bofur, playfully scooping Bilbo up off his feet.

Bilbo squealed with delight (though he would say he never squeals, thank you very much) as Bofur tossed him onto the bed, bouncing near Kili. Quicker than a breath, Bofur's lips were on Bilbo's, body covering his right after. Bofur kissed him as though he had been starving weeks merely for the taste of Bilbo's mouth and, incredibly, Bilbo's kisses felt like he was returning the passion just as eagerly.

*** 

Fili hopped up on the bed, sitting on his knees by Kili's feet, waiting for Bofur to move off Bilbo so he could join in. After a few awkward moments, all that happened was Bofur and Bilbo rolling over--thankfully the other direction from the one that would smash Kili--so that Bilbo was on top.

Kili waited for Bilbo to remember his request, aching to be held after such an intense coupling, but BIlbo and Bofur were far too consumed in their kiss. Unable to hold Bilbo without breaking the moment with Bofur, Kili sat up on his knees and embraced Fili instead.

"Fee," he rasped.

There were things Fili and Bofur had learned about Bilbo and Kili only _after_ the sort of intimate observation that sharing a bed with them provided. One thing (that Bilbo hardly kept secret) was Bilbo's near-visceral need to be fucked if he was penetrated with anything greater than a tongue. It made him desperate and frantic until the promise of a renewed imprint was stroking within him. The other thing they had learned was how Kili became rather needy and affectionate after he had been filled himself. Fili slipped his arms around Kili, who was trembling slightly as he clung to him. His attention flicked to Bilbo, now focused on Bofur, and he thought about how Bilbo had been washing up at the basin when Bofur grabbed him. 

_Ah_.

"You've been taken," Fili murmured in understanding.  
Kili whispered back, "Yes."

It was rare that Bilbo was as distracted afterwards as he was now, and it seemed to fall to Fili to be the one to soothe Kili. Holding him more tightly with the intent to comfort, Fili glanced back to the scene next to them and its divisively intimate tone. He noted that, in spite of their loving wash-up, Bofur seemed to all but have forgotten Fili's presence. Fili had been avoiding extended play with Kili after their agreement and hadn't had much trouble holding true to those ideals in the time that had passed after. Tonight, he had to admit a warm, naked, clingy, sex-softened Kili in his arms felt a little too inviting.

***

Bilbo scooted back on his knees and Bofur chased after him, attempting to recapture his lips. Giggling, Bilbo stood on the bed, just to see how far Bofur would go to continue their clinch. Bofur gazed up at Bilbo with soulful brown eyes. The love and the bare need Bilbo saw in them vanquished the laughter in his throat. Something in his stomach fluttered and he became acutely aware of the blood pumping in his limbs. 

Looking at Bilbo above him, smiling and flushed with excitement, Bofur was moved. He wanted--he _loved_ \--and the soft, velvety change in Bilbo's expression as he gazed at him only made the feeling in his center surge more powerfully. He needed Bilbo inside him, fucking him, and if it was not yet time to have him the way he deeply aspired, he knew another way he could be momentarily fulfilled. 

"Fuck me," murmured Bofur. 

Bofur opened his mouth, his tongue darting out to invitingly rest against his bottom lip.

Bilbo remembered the last time the words were spoken between them, their positions switched, and a thrill ran up his spine. He pressed the head of his cock to Bofur's lips, using his grip to trace the edges before settling it heavy on Bofur's tongue.

***

Fili and Kili both froze when they heard the request, looking over. Surely they hadn't heard what they heard?

Bofur and Bilbo shared a gaze so intimate Kili almost felt as though he needed to look away, lest he be intruding. They seemed transfixed on one another, stirring a faint jealousy Kili hadn't felt since the first time Bilbo took Thorin back to their bed. Inwardly, he banished it to the dark corner where it belonged. With each of Fili's tender rubs across his back, the urge to touch and kiss him as a lover again rose a little more. He had no business being upset with Bilbo's bit of mouthplay when he was pondering slipping his own prick between his brother's wet lips. Kili shivered a bit at the fantasy and subconsciously leaned harder against Fili. 

Fili watched the dirty-sweet scene playing out next to him with interest. Like Kili, even though Bofur was his betrothed and his partner, it almost seemed too personal for witness. When Bilbo rubbed the crown of his cock across Bofur's bottom lip, nudging forward into the waiting mouth, Fili felt like he could just as easily been watching Bilbo breach Bofur's arse. The tenderness was unsettling as much as it was fascinating.

Fili felt Kili press closer to him, distracting him from the myriad of emotions he was feeling watching Bilbo and Bofur together. He was glad he had the excuse that he had come to the room hard (still not having had his own since Bofur's frantic insistence outside the Green Dragon), though he alone knew the feeling of Kili's bare skin against his was keeping it that way. 

Kili had gone to Fili moments before for the comfort Bilbo was too distracted to provide, but being close to him, feeling the sensual warmth of flesh against flesh, something stirred inside him. He had been careful not to push Fili since they decided to minimize their bedplay with each other, but tonight the attraction increased with each breath. Kili inhaled deeply, smelling Fili's freshly clean skin mingled with the scent of arousal. Kili knew it wasn't for _him_ specifically--Fili had joined them flushed and hard--though his cock still twitched in response. He feared he would annoy Fili right out of his arms if he tried to go further, but then again, hadn't Fili agreed that Kili could ask for him when he desired him? Kili hadn't pressed for that particular privilege since that discussion, but he was currently finding that mere arms around him fell well short of what he required. Nervous in bed for the first time in a long while, Kili tentatively kissed Fili's skin, marking a path as he moved up toward his ear.

He whispered, "Fee, can we?"

Before Kili spoke, Fili had felt something shift in the energy between them, something palpable enough that Fili was not as surprised as he should have been to feel warm lips pressed first against his clavicle, then up along the column of his neck. Fili's initial plan was to simply hold Kili, not to get into these kisses and touches thick with intent, but the ache of Bofur's fascination with Bilbo tonight, coupled with Kili's own softly sighed request as he slowly kissed upward, lessened Fili's resolve. Even still, after all this time Kili had refrained from further attempts to seduce him, Fili could not help but wonder what his game was. 

Fili drew away, tipping up Kili's face to study it for any trace of playful scheming. Kili guilelessly blinked back, his expression so earnest and wanting that the last of Fili's will shattered.

Cradling Kili's face, Fili claimed his mouth. He felt Kili's hands move up and wind into his curls as the kiss deepened, passionately. They ignored the moans and the shaking of the bed next to them, taking these moments for themselves. 

"I've missed you like this," Kee whispered.

Fili rested his forehead against Kili and peered into his eyes. 

Quietly, he asked, "What do you want?"  
One of Kili's hands traced down Fili's body, brushing over his prick. Fili shivered.  
"I want to touch and be touched," Kili replied.  
Closing his eyes, Fili inwardly fought for some control. Leaning past Kili's face, into his ear, he whispered again.  
"How do you wish to be touched?"  
Kili guided Fili's hand to his own cock. "Like this."

Kissing down to nip at his neck, Fili closed his fingers around Kili's erection. Kili sucked in a ragged breath and similarly gripped Fili. The first, soft, powdery strokes of fresh skin to skin were tantalizing, but soon the friction of not enough moisture slowed them both down. Fili licked his palm, exaggerating for erotic show. Not to be outdone, Kili did the same, his gaze burning into Fili as he did it. 

Fili's free arm had been still circling Kili's waist. He let it drop over the roundness of Kili's arse, dipping into the cleft. Teasing inward more, Fili felt a tell-tale wetness. The forbidden unlikelihood of what they were doing--what they _all_ had been doing, had they been relations or not--sharpened in his mind (neither for the first time, nor for the last). Kili had been fucked that night by his Chosen, yet he was wickedly naked in the arms of another and hoping for another climax...a climax Fili was going to make damned sure he got. Fili could scarcely believe this had become their life, yet he did not wish to trade their lewd and filthy arrangement for anything in the world.

"Mahal, Kee," Fili rasped. "You're wet."  
Fili felt Kili's lips touch his ear. Though he spoke quietly, Kilil's tone was gleeful. "Isn't it obscene?"  
"What have you done to all of us?" Fili mused aloud.  
Kili didn't reply.

Wetting two fingers through the seed that had dripped from Kili, he pushed them into Kili's hole and used the new grip to pull him close. Kili mewled in his ear. 

"I can barely stand you, how arousing you are," Fili growled.

Kili felt a sharp sting as Fili bit into his neck, sucking a claiming mark. Fili still held Kili's cock, too, and his fingers continued working in and out of him. Though he had wished to be the one doing the enticing, Kili's own strokes faded entirely with Fili biting at him, filling him, and pumping him--showering him with sensations from front to back. All his thoughts and fantasies of what he would ask for if Fili allowed them illicit thrills again seemed to have fallen by the wayside, though he was hardly in a position to complain. Indeed, he found himself doing little more than holding on, whimpering, and allowing Fili to coax him to his second finish of the night. 

Though he had not yet come once that evening, Fili's focus narrowed on the quivering, erotic beauty in his arms. His earlier reticence forgotten in the haze of blinding lust, Fili pumped Kili resolutely, fixated on making him come. Kili tossed his head back with a cry and Fili licked the undwarvishly long line of his throat. 

"That's it," Fili hissed in encouragement. "Get there for me."  
"Wanna come on you," Kili gritted out.  
Leaning his head against Kili's shoulder, Fili sighed, "Yes."  
"On y-your prick."  
Fili moaned, "Oh, fuck _yes_."

Kili shot out a hand, encouraging Fili to hold them both together in a shared grip. Kili stuttered out Fili's name, each time at a higher pitch of increasing urgency, the last one being a broken shout as he spilled in ribbons over Fili's cock. He scarcely allowed himself a spare breath before using his slick to stroke Fili. Fili's allowed his hand to fall away, expecting a rapid finish after all this evening's erotic tension.

"You're wanking me in your own..." Fili faltered. "Fuck, Kee! This won't be long."  
"Are you going to come fast?"  
"Uh-huh," Fili rumbled.  
"Where do you wish it? On me?" Kili's tone turned more seductive. "Perhaps on my tongue? Was that something you enjoyed?"  
Sucking in a breath, Fili groaned, " _Gods_!"  
"Was it?"  
"You--you know it was. It was...perfect."  
Kili's hand caressed Fili's hip, roaming toward the swell of his backside. "Or was there something _more_ I could do for you?"

Fili caught Kili's wrist, sliding his fingers down to lace with Kili's, holding it still at his hip.

Kili's tone grew darker. "You claim to love it, but you've yet to let me penetrate your mouth, or let me touch you inside. Do you not believe I want to invade you as you have me? Or is it something you've not desired?"  
Hoping to distract Kili with the very real warning of his imminent orgasm, Fili panted, "I'm close."  
Leaning to Fili's ear, much like Fili did when he was similarly stroking him, Kili murmured, "I've thought about it. Truthfully, I had expected our next play to be switched, with you the one being explored. You have no problem doing it to me--breaching me, by arse or mouth, making me come, making me taste yours-"  
"-Kee!"

Sensing the end, Kili quickly and deftly maneuvered himself low to wrap his lips around Fili's cock, mere moments ahead of the first spurt of his climax. Fili shuddered and groaned while Kili swallowed through the final throes, squeezing gently along the length to claim the last remaining drops. Kili straightened back up to his knees to look into Fili's eyes; it was Fili's turn to need Kili's closeness. He pulled him into a tight embrace. 

"What are you afraid of?" whispered Kili. 

Fili had been naked--naked and coming, to be precise--with Kili before, though he had scarcely felt so exposed. This time had not been about possession, or even about Thorin. This was pleasure, this was _them_ , and Fili would have been paralyzed with the rawness of it...had it not felt so good. How could he explain to Kili how overwhelmed he was when he could not put it into coherent thoughts for merely himself? 

Kili felt Fili shake his head against his shoulder. Not having expected an answer, he didn't press further. The point of asking was to encourage Fili to think on it. Kili knew--no, he _felt_ \--that in the future Fili would grow curious or needy enough to ask for bedplay again. Perhaps the next time, he would be more adventurous. 

***

Bilbo braced himself with a hand cupping Bofur's neck. He rolled his hips, pulling his cock across Bofur's tongue and through the silky, wet grip of his lips, only to push it back again. He moved slow and steady, relishing each and every sensation. It was incredible, having Bofur like this without _having_ him. Bilbo had pondered before how intimate mouthplay truly was, not having grown to respect it until he got caught up with his dwarrows. Even his dalliances with Fili weren't idle--he'd never have let any part of him in his mouth or his arse if they hadn't been special to each other. Taking that into consideration, Bilbo still felt as though this encounter with Bofur was taking the intensity of the act to a higher point. His breath quickening, Bilbo threw back his head and closed his eyes in rapturous delight.

Breathing was always a tricky endeavor when fellating a lover, and Bofur was discovering it even more difficult to keep steady when Bilbo was being so...so _Bilbo_. Bofur's heart pounded and his blood warmed with every stroke. Bilbo held his head firmly, but gently, using it to guide himself in and out. Mahal, Bilbo was _making love_ to his mouth. Closing his eyes, Bofur imagined what these strokes would feel like if they were making love in reality. A series of tingles shot down his spine and through his abdomen; his cock was thick and dripping with the headiness of it all. A second hand rose to touch Bofur's face, the thumb grazing his cheek. He glanced up to see Bilbo caught up in the moment. He shimmied his tongue and tightened his lips on Bilbo's next out-stroke, seeing if he could get Bilbo to further lose himself to passion.

Bilbo let out a cry when he felt Bofur change his technique, picking up speed while scarcely realizing he was doing so. He felt Bofur's deep groan rumble through him, the vibrations adding their own distinct thrill. Bilbo answered with his own, shifting his angle as Bofur gasped in a lungful of air, seeming to prepare himself. Bilbo's desire spiked at the realization and his grip tightened. His head tipped forward as though it took too much precious energy to hold it up.

This time, when Bilbo closed his eyes, he imagined the warmth around his cock was a tighter, more forbidden sin than merely Bofur's mouth.

This time, instead of quickening Bilbo's breath, Bofur seemed to take it away entirely.

Bofur sensed a change, not only in pace, but in Bilbo's demeanor. He looked up, attempting to read Bilbo's face. What he saw there seemed like a dream--Bofur recognized that expression from furtively watching Bilbo in bed with Kili. He would have given half his share in the mountain to know what was in Bilbo's mind at that very moment.

Bofur had to adjust as Bilbo's strokes grew more erratic in order not to choke. He didn't care that he had a saliva-soaked beard, nor that his eyes watered from the strain. He was singularly focused on receiving this pleasure, having long-since given into his fantasy.

Feeling the unmistakable tension building, Bilbo glanced down at Bofur. He was gorgeous like this, with his flushed skin and damp cheeks. Bofur's eyes fluttered open and met Bilbo's. They were glittering, chocolate pools of hope, love, and desire. For a moment, Bilbo thought they could see straight through to Bilbo's soul, that Bofur could see Bilbo's wicked imaginings, and that they unequivocally matched Bofur's own salacious visions. It was the last thought that sent Bilbo hurtling toward his finish.

"I'm going to come inside you," Bilbo growled, mere seconds before he made good on his warning.

Bilbo's words went straight to Bofur's prick, sharpening his arousal to an ache. Bofur felt Bilbo's orgasm spill within him and cataloged each twitch, each pulse, each tremor. What would Bilbo's bond feel like, were it racing under his skin at this very moment? He carried Bilbo through his pleasure, slowing down to soft licks and kisses at the end. Their eyes met again. Though Bofur's own sexual release did not spontaneously happen with Bilbo's, the fullness in his chest and the lightness in his skull made him feel otherwise. He had had gotten Bilbo there with his mouth before, but never quite like this. Trembling with love and want, Bofur let himself fall back on the bed. He did not trust his knees to keep him upright much longer.

Bilbo went after Bofur, weighing down his body with his own, greedily claiming his lips.

"Amazing," he whispered.

Supporting himself with his elbow on the bed (with an assist from Bofur's chest), Bilbo wrapped a hand around Bofur's neglected erection. Bofur cried out, arching up. Bilbo craned his neck, his mouth once again finding Bofur's. Bofur kissed back fiercely.

"My Bee," Bofur whispered against Bilbo's lips in between kisses and gasps.  
Bilbo replied, "Bo, oh, Bo."

***

Fili and Kili stayed in each others arms, the orgasm momentarily clearing FIli's rapturously hazed mind and restoring his anxieties more vividly than before. Already warring with himself about Kili, his mind also reminded him of Bofur and Bilbo. He glanced over to see them horizontal again on the bed together--how did he miss them moving?--kissing as they were before. He could see when Bilbo shifted that he was no longer hard, but Bofur was stiff and dripping. Bilbo wrapped his fingers around Bofur's length, pumping him teasingly. Listening to his Chosen whine and beg, Fili felt his prick stirring anew.

Kili noticed Fili staring at their lovers and subconsciously wetting his lips. 

"It's Bo's turn, don't you think?" Kili whispered.  
Fili's attention flicked to Kili.  
Nodding towards the other couple encouragingly, Kili said, "It is up to you to give him what he needs."  
***

Bofur rolled his head back, trying to get deeper breaths, exhaling each with sounds of growing pleasure. He closed his eyes and gave himself over to Bilbo, riding along the wave that was building and waiting for it to crest. He felt Bilbo shift; immediately after, a pressure at his entrance that was quickly followed by an oiled, thick intrusion. That was not a hobbit's digit. He looked down to see his Fili grinning up at him from between his legs. At the very moment Bofur thought he was going to come, Bilbo released him. Bofur groaned in frustration.

"Oh, my poor Bo. Still waiting on yours, yeah?" Fili cooed. "Why get wanked when you could get fucked?"

Bofur's head was spinning from both confusion as well as lack of blood. His Bilbo encounter seemed at an abrupt end, but a delicious fuck with his betrothed seemed to be the reason. There was only so disappointed he could be, after all.

"Why, indeed?" he countered, shooting Fili a sexy, inviting grin.

Fili was irritated he felt such relief at Bofur being happy about this turn of events. There's no reason Bofur wouldn't be excited to receive him, nor any reason for Bofur to be disappointed for the switch in partners. Fili dismissed his disquieted thoughts and set about preparing Bofur for the fucking he was about to deliver. Any last shreds of doubt faded with Bofur's writhing and calling Fili's name in between filthy pleas to be claimed. Fili toyed with him until his own stiffness fully renewed.

***

Bilbo returned to Kili's embrace as promised, however belatedly. With both of them having been spent twice in such a short span, their reunion was more tender than tawdry. Languorously, they stroked and kissed, murmuring devotions that no one in the bed could hear but each other. Bilbo's blood vibrated and he was skeptical how something as thin as skin could keep his soul from escaping in pure elation. What an adventure tonight had been!

Kili welcomed Bilbo home to his arms, bearing no grudge for the attentions Bofur received. Likewise, Kili's encounter with Fili was as curious as it was glorious, but it was for thinking on another time. He bathed Bilbo with caresses and adoration just as diligently as they had earlier bathed the other with water.

***

Fili pressed his chest against Bofur's, unable to hold himself up with his hands clutching at Bofur's hips as he rolled in and out of him. Bofur whimpered and begged beneath him, having had his arousal strung out far beyond the others. Fili wondered if Bofur even noticed Fili had come in Kili's arms.

Suddenly, Fili's weight was no longer on Bofur's chest. Bofur was grasped this way and pulled that until his bum was barely on the bed. Fili was on his knees in front of him, still inside him, tilting Bofur at the waist to support him against his thighs and hips.

"Fuck, Fee," Bofur whined.  
Panting, Fili asked, "Ready to come?"  
"I want to be swallowed," Bofur said, glancing at Bilbo, who was currently kissing Kili passionately and paying them no attention.  
"Bee is busy," Fili said firmly. "But if sucking is what you want, far be it from me to deny you."

It was not odd for them to share pleasure between three of them like this, but Fili was not in the mood to share Bofur's orgasm this night. He slipped from Bofur, ignoring his protest, and wrapped his lips around his prick.

"Mahal's light!" Bofur swore.

With Fili expertly working his cock (and with all the obscenity that had preceded it), Bofur burst soon after with a toe-cramping climax, his cries of "oh!" mixed with yelps of "ow!" While he was still shuddering and sucking in breaths, Fili was on top of him and within him once again. Fili took him hard and with purpose. Shared between both his loves that evening, Bofur had been through a range of intense emotions and pleasures, leaving him emotional, physically sensitive, and hyper-aware. Therefore, he was stunned almost breathless for the second time in moments when Fili's bond rocketed through his blood.

Fili rested his weight on Bofur's legs as his pleasure ebbed, exhaling sharply. He was suddenly aware of every muscle in his body growing weary and could not stifle a yawn. Having just come twice in a short period of time, a bit of soft bed and a pillow seemed too inviting. Kissing Bofur's calf, he eased out and stretched out on the bed next to him. Bofur immediately crawled into his embrace, holding him tightly and whispering words of love.

"Wouldn't you like to clean up?" Fili asked.  
"Don't want to leave your arms, Fee."

Fili smiled, nudging Bofur's chin upward for a kiss, sweet at first but deepening in intensity. Fili's earlier doubts seemed quite silly when he could _feel_ how much Bofur adored him. When they parted, Bofur held Fili's ring hand, pressing his lips to the pad of each digit before turning it over in order to bestow a kiss upon the ring itself. The conflict Fili felt about what transpired between himself and Kili as well as the odd thoughts about Bilbo and Bofur were gone with a long, blissful sigh. Whatever the four of them did in their bed, Fili would still end their nights here, with his Bo...and his Bo was happy to end his nights here with his Fee, too.


	17. From The Bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More bed games in Bag End.

The next day, the wind had kicked up and Bilbo had decided it was too cold to be leaving the house. No matter, for excitement found them in the form of a quartet of visitors for tea: Ori, Thodora, Chadham, and Rorimac, all of whom enjoyed tea so much they decided to stay through dinner. Though Bilbo had been a proper hobbit host from the moment they arrived, he leaned on Fili and Kili heavily to help him prepare the food. He listened attentively and laughed heartily whenever he had a mind to, though he did not talk much himself. 

Throughout the day, whenever their glance would meet, Bilbo would hold Bofur's eyes for a moment with a sweet, open-mouthed smile, as though he was going to say something. He would glance down, then back up through his lashes, closing his lips and wearing the softest of expressions. It was coy, disconcertingly precious, and it had happened multiple times since breakfast. Bofur wanted to grab him and ask him, "What, _what_? What is going through your mind to make you look at me like that?" but there was never a proper moment to do so. 

Towards the end of their meal, Kili noticed Bilbo looked a bit paler than usual and casually insisted Bilbo keep company while he cleaned up. That Bilbo offered no initial argument to this plan worried Kili even more.

By bedtime, Bilbo had begged off sharing his bed with anyone but Kili. He crawled under the covers complaining of aches and fatigue. 

The next morning, Bilbo woke up ill. Nothing as serious, he had insisted, as what he had in Lake Town, but it was enough to make his next couple days unpleasant and his nights decidedly not sexy.

*****

The dwarves cooked Bilbo food and kept after the household while Bilbo grumbled about not being allowed to do much more that sit, read, eat, write, sleep, and sniffle. On the third day, he sat in the dining room while Kili made soup. Fili and Bofur were stocking the pantry after having returned with fresh supplies.

"You likely got it from trying to travel in this weather," Fili said. "Hobbits don't have the same resistance to chill or illness dwarrows do."  
"I should have argued for us to stay home," Kili noted with no small amount of guilt.  
Bofur chimed in. "How was anyone to know?"  
"Hush up, the lot of you. I probably got it from one of my relations, not the weather, and Bo is right--there was no way to predict it. I--I-" Bilbo paused for several seconds to allow a particularly explosive sneeze to escape. "-I don't eben hab a feber, thag you berry buch."  
He blew his nose.  
"Be that as it may, there will be no cooking, dusting, or fussing out of you, Master Baggins, not for at least another day," Kili chided in a stern-but-affectionate tone. 

Kili placed a steaming bowl of heavenly chicken soup in front of Bilbo, along with two thick slices of the bread Fili had prepared that morning. Bilbo smiled up at him gratefully. This wasn't the first time--and he was sure it probably wouldn't be the last--that a sick Bilbo Baggins was looked after so lovingly by dwarrows.

*****

Feeling better, Bilbo nuzzled into Kili that evening in bed.

Kili clasped a roaming hand. "Not tonight."

Smiling, Bilbo wrenched out of his grip and grabbed a handful of his bum.

"Stop," giggled Kili, reaching back and snatching Bilbo's hand again. "I said, 'not tonight!'"  
"Oh, why not?" Bilbo whined, nibbling at his throat.  
Kili groaned, not truly wishing to stop him but knowing he must.  
He argued, " _Because_ you are still getting over feeling poorly."  
Grinding his stiff cock against Kili, Bilbo cooed, "Does this seem like I'm feeling poorly?"  
Kili gently guided Bilbo's face out of his neck and looked into his eyes. "My jewel, I want to fuck you like mad, but I want you to stay well even more."

Bilbo grunted ahead of a protest, but Kili pressed his fingers to his lips to prevent the rest of it. He kissed the tip of Bilbo's nose. 

"Tomorrow night, after another day of rest and good meals, I promise I will make it worth the wait."  
Though Bilbo rumbled with noises of disappointment, he cuddled back into Kili without additional argument.  
"You always do," he said, pressing a final kiss to Kili's collarbone.

*****

Kili shooed Bilbo out of the bedroom in the morning, still not allowing him to share in the housework. He suspected the inviting smell of breakfast wafting down the hall spared him any pending protest from Bilbo on the subject. Having gone without sex or self-pleasure since Bilbo caught his cold, Kili found that putting the bed back together and palming over the bedspread had the odd effect of stiffening his prick.

Honestly, Kili had been replaying the memory of Bilbo making him come against his towel since the night it had happened. As always, any time Kili found a new sexual experience scintillating, he was enthusiastically eager to have Bilbo give it a try, too. Reciprocating with the towel wouldn't work, though. Bilbo wasn't as attached to it as he was, and seeing it smoothed out over the bedspread would take away the element of surprise, which Kili had to admit was half the fun. Glancing at the bed again, Kili's lips widened in a lewd smile. He knew _just_ the thing.

*****

Holman stopped by Bag End with a single letter from Rivendell, delivered by another "of those queer, mysterious-type messengers," Holman had said. It could have been delivered directly from the beak of Gwaihir himself and Bofur wouldn't have noticed...because it was from Bifur! Bofur tore into it, skimmed it quickly, and searched for bad news. When he found none, he read it more thoughtfully. Though he felt for his cousin's struggle with his recovery, Bofur still felt more happiness than melancholy. In fact, for the rest of the day, he felt as though he was walking on a cloud. Bifur was alive! He couldn't wait to find Fili and tell him.

*****

Kili had Bilbo on his hands and knees. He had teased out Bilbo's arousal extensively, hoping that the lack of something to protect the bedspread would be overlooked in the process--and it had worked. As an added benefit, the resulting mewls and groans had earned them company. Though Kili loved the idea of being watched for this (and didn't mind the odd touch), this endeavor was specifically engineered for him to be the sole source of Bilbo's orgasm. Fili and Bofur seemed to sense this early on and kept their hands mostly on each other.

Kili nudged into Bilbo, taking his time burying himself deep inside. Once there, he didn't move. When moments passed without a stroke, Bilbo spoke up.

"What are you doing? Or rather, what aren't you doing?"  
"I'm waiting."  
"Waiting for what?" asked Bilbo, sounding exasperated already.  
"Waiting for you to fuck yourself."  
Bilbo craned his head in a struggle to look at Kili, but all he saw were Fili and Bofur. "What?"

Kili's hand massaged Bilbo's hip, giving his clever lover time to figure out the game. Bilbo didn't disappoint him.

"Oh! This is for the other night, is it?"  
"Only this time, no towel and no help. All you get is your arse and my prick."  
"You're sure I'll manage?"  
"Unless you've been wanking through your cold, you're as pent up as I am. I've got a plan if I don't think you can come, but I hardly think I'll need to use it."

Fili looked and listened, intrigued. Bilbo and Kili loved to goad each other with these playful sex games, and for good reason: they always ended in what looked and sounded like powerful orgasms. Fili found himself already wondering how Bilbo would escalate their play next, even though he hadn't begun to answer Kili's present challenge. 

Bofur listened to Kili's plan, his mouth watering at the thought of watching Bilbo fuck himself to ruin on his lover. When Bilbo began moving, Bofur was transfixed, his eyes following every ripple of muscle, each tremor of softness, and the graceful, sinuous undulations of Bilbo's body as he sought their pleasures. He wanted to join, touch, and kiss, but he understood these moments were not for him to share. When he felt the wet, smooth heat of Fili's mouth engulf his erection, Bofur mused that a moment of his own had gone and found him.

Bilbo balanced himself on one hand, though Kili interrupted him before he got very far.  
"No," Kili commanded him. "Both hands on the bed where I can see them."  
"Yavanna's Grace!" swore Bilbo, though he did exactly as Kili told him to do.

Doing his best to stay still as Bilbo fucked himself on him, Kili realized a flaw in his plan: he should have gotten off before taking Bilbo to bed. These nights of denial coupled with Bilbo bouncing against him had him too close, too fast. An especially enthusiastic push back from Bilbo almost knocked him off kilter. He reached out and steadied himself with a hand on Bofur's shoulder. 

Fili adjusted, attempting to suck Bofur off as well as watch Bilbo's performance--and what a show it was! Bilbo struggled against a flushed Kili, the latter biting his lip to nearly bleeding-- tense, taught, and doubtlessly fighting to stave off his own finish lest it ruin the game. A long, sustained whine came from the back of Bilbo's throat, rising in pitch each time Bilbo gasped to suck in a breath. As his own cock throbbed for it all, Fili wondered how long it would take Bofur to come encouraged by this overload of his senses. 

With Kili's hand on his shoulder, Bofur felt a ghost of the movement each time Bilbo slammed against his lover. With the tight sucking sensation of Fili's mouth around him, Bofur could _almost_ imagine what it was like for Kili. He didn't know how Kili had managed to sustain without bursting for so long, particularly given Bilbo's increasing vocalizations. He guessed by his cries that Bilbo had found that maddening, delightful plateau of agonizing pleasure, just ahead of the final break. 

Other than ordering Bilbo not to touch himself, Kili didn't talk, didn't encourage, didn't whisper filthy sentiments--he scarcely dared breathe. It was taking everything in him to outlast Bilbo.

Bilbo groaned, "Fuck, I can feel myself oozing, feel it steady dripping-- _fuck_ \--all over the...oh, oh my! W-we should have put something down."  
Still moving, Bilbo whined Kili's name loudly before exclaiming, "It's so good, I can't stand it!"

The thought of his fastidious, fussy Bilbo positively soiling the bedspread from milking himself against his cock was more than Kili could bear. Crying out, Kili came, still clutching Bofur's shoulder and trying not to move. 

"No, no, no, no," Bilbo frantically panted. "So close, don't...don't--have mercy, Kee! Stay hard just a little...longer. Don't pull back."

Kili tried desperately to honor Bilbo's pleading request, but he was so sensitive now. _Too_ sensitive. His fingers dug into Bofur's shoulder while he tried to summon the will to stand it. Shouting and grunting through the much-too-much, he nearly missed what he had been waiting for. 

Fili sucking him faster while Bilbo keened got Bofur there next. He had hoped to come when Bilbo did, but he couldn't hold out. Truly, he might not have lasted as long as he did had Kili not been digging distracting bruises into his skin.

Bilbo was sweating, dripping, wailing, and thrusting himself back in a frenzy. His muscles hurt, but he didn't care--he was racing to the finish, and _oh_ , how he wanted this finish! Kili shouted and screamed behind him while the final tension built in Bilbo's abdomen. He was so grateful for it (not to mention smug), he found himself laughing through a powerful, bone-quivering orgasm...coming all over his bedspread. He barely noticed the mess. 

Kili collapsed on Bilbo's back, glad the unbearable sensation had passed but gladder still Bilbo was able to fulfill the plan. When he trusted his thighs to hold his weight again, Kili rocked back enough to flip Bilbo over and claim his mouth.

"You are a maniac!" Bilbo declared between struggled breaths. "An absolute maniac and I couldn't love it more!" 

Bilbo and Kili passionately kissed, kissed, and kissed, not sparing so much as a glance for Fili or Bofur. 

Fili watched for a few moments before he turned back around, playfully licking up a feigned missed drop along Bofur's shaft. He peeked upward expectantly, though Bofur's gaze was locked on Bilbo and Kili. Fili rose to Bofur's mouth, rapidly gaining his attention back. After a few deep kisses of their own, Bofur took Fili's hand and tugged him off the bed. Though he didn't quite understand, Fili allowed himself to be led to their room. 

Glancing back, Fili and Bofur could both see Bilbo and Kili locked in their embrace, oblivious to the other couple's absence, still kissing and whispering love.

*****

"Why did we leave?" Fili asked.  
"We were there to play, but they were lost to everything but each other. There was no point in remaining simply to be ignored."  
Fili crossed his arms. "I can't believe it. I never thought I'd see you jealous of _Kee_."  
"I'm not jealous of Kee," Bofur quickly replied. "I simply felt like we were intruding on their intimacy, especially when they didn't bother to look up."  
Fili's eyes twinkled with lewd delight. "That was rather intense, wasn't it?"  
Bofur licked his lips, glancing down at Fili's hardened prick. "It was, and I see you are not unmoved."  
"A statue would be unable to remain unmoved by such a display as what we just witnessed!"  
"Let me assist you, then," Bofur purred.

He nudged Fili onto the bed and crawled between his legs. Soft cries drifted down the hall as Bofur pulled Fili into his mouth.

"They must be making love again," Fili panted.

Bofur hummed in the affirmative, his tongue too busy to talk. As he worked his cock, Fili's sharp breaths blended in Bofur's ears with Bilbo's carrying moans. In his mind, Bofur was pleasing both of them. The fantasy grew more vivid the closer Fili and Bilbo got.

"Are you hard enough to fuck me?" gasped Fili. 

Though he had practically just come, Bofur _was_ hard again. "Aye, does seem that way."  
"Nearly as fast as a hobbit!" Fili teased.  
Already reaching for the oil, Bofur asked, "Why do you ask? Are you wanting?"  
"Are you giving?" Fili challenged. 

Joyfully, Fili noticed Bofur's full, mischievous gleam in his eye and the gorgeous smile that went with it were on his face full force for the first time since Bilbo had gotten ill. 

"Only hard and fast tonight, I'm afraid," Bofur countered.  
Fili shimmed back toward the pillow to get comfortable, spreading his legs. "That happens to be _exactly_ what I'm looking for."

*****

Kili and Bilbo cuddled together, exhausted and utterly spent twice over.

"Hey, when did Fee and Bo leave?" Bilbo asked.  
Sleepily, Kili replied, "Hmmm? I dunno."  
"We got so caught up with each other...I hope they weren't too disappointed tonight turned into more of a couples' night."

Fili's rapturous moans cut through the household silence, with Bofur's right behind.

"Don't sound too disappointed to me, Bee."  
Bilbo grinned. "Nope, not disappointed at all."


	18. A Bag Of Marbles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In spite of Bofur's fleeting weirdness about Bilbo and Kili the night before, Fili thought they had a fantastic fuck. Bofur had seemed like his _Bofur_ again, instead of this brooding, frowning dwarf who had all too often been taking his place lately. This morning, Bofur was flirtatious, palming at Fili's bum and flattering him like they were yet back at Beorn's.

Kili lost Bilbo after breakfast the following morning, eventually finding him on the bench in front of Bag End, puffing away on his pipe.

Kili scolded him. "You've only just gotten over all that mess and you are sitting outside in the chill to have your pipe?"  
"It is fine, Kee. However much I did love being looked after, it was a lot of fuss for what was honestly just a cold."  
"Well, it was scary to me to see you like that," Kili said, crossing his arms indignantly. "Dwarrows don't get casually ill in such a manner, plus the memory of you being sick in Lake Town still haunts me...probably still haunts all of us."  
"Haunts you? Granted, I was very sick then."  
"When you were terribly ill, I wasn't permitted to see you and neither was Fee. Bofur was allowed to sit with you only for a short while, and he told us later he thought at the time you might not make it. Indeed, even Óin worried you might not beat your fever, particularly when you fell under that second day. I was readying to break the door in frantic desperation to see you myself when Thorin came down that morning and told Bombur you wanted food."  
Bilbo frowned. "I didn't know any of that was happening. Of course, the day my fever was particularly bad, it is safe to say I didn't know much more than my own name."  
"Anyway, you being ill--even with something you consider benign--is strange to us, not being hobbits. Add in the memory of you being bed-ridden in Lake Town, and you will simply have to expect the three of us to panic a bit, or at least spring into action so it does not grow worse."  
Bilbo smiled affectionately. "Worse things have happened to a hobbit, I guess."  
"Why _are_ you taking your pipe outside?" Kili asked.  
"I suppose it must have been the time spent under the sky and in cavernous places, but since the weather has changed, the smoking room has made me feel...I don't know, claustrophobic? I feel penned in, agitated almost, every time I take a pipe."  
Kili nodded. "It didn't bother me in the beginning, but now that you mention it, I've not had a relaxing smoke in there in a while. I guess the novelty of Bag End kept me from noticing I'd rather be smoking in the wider, open spaces of the outdoors. Still," he paused to shiver, "perhaps one of the bigger rooms could stand in once the ground freezes?"

*****

In spite of Bofur's fleeting weirdness about Bilbo and Kili the night before, Fili thought they had a fantastic fuck. Bofur had seemed like his _Bofur_ again, instead of this brooding, frowning dwarf who had all too often been taking his place lately. This morning, Bofur was flirtatious, palming at Fili's bum and flattering him like they were yet back at Beorn's.

Fili chided himself for his over-sensitivity and envy. Fili had known Bofur loved Bilbo and wanted him in his bed well ahead of the arrangement, and Fili himself had pushed for the explorations of bodies and feelings. He enjoyed it, as a matter of fact. Besides, Bofur was set to marry Fili--and not in any way by coercion, either. Bofur had courted him, had wanted him, had asked him to be his _husband_...so what if Bofur was attentive to Bilbo in bed? Fili had to admit giving both Bilbo and Kili a little attention himself, after all.

By the time Fili was done kneading the bread for that night's dinner, he had himself convinced that Bofur's strangeness as of late was a product of nothing more than Fili's insecurity and imagination. Right about that time, Bofur stomped into the kitchen looking as cheerful as a stormy day. 

"What's gotten into _your_ boot?" Fili wondered.  
Bofur barked back, "Nothing has gotten into my boot!"  
Fili cocked a scrutinizing brow. "Oh, that explains why you're raising your voice to me for asking you if you are okay."  
"You said something cheeky and I'm not in the mood for you having a go at me right now."  
"I'm _not_ having a go, but if you're not in the mood for fun, that means you are moody in general, and therefore I-"  
Exasperated but quiet, Bofur pleaded, "Fee, don't fuck with me, yeah?"

Hearing Bofur's tone, Fili took a breath and tried to calm himself. He didn't know why Bofur joined him in the kitchen if he had wanted to be alone, or what had him rubbed raw, but Fili was willing to give him some space.

More kindly than he felt, Fili said, "I've got to wait for the dough to rise anyway. If you're going to be in here, maybe you can keep an eye out?"  
Bofur looked up at Fili and smiled sheepishly. "Aye, I can do that."  
Fili kissed his head. "Good."

*****

Fili found Bilbo and Kili in the study. Kili was reading something and Bilbo sat writing at his desk, humming a pretty tune.

Flopping down in the other comfortable chair, Fili asked, "What are you working on over there, Bee?"  
"My letter to Thorin. I'm anxious to get it on its way--he probably feels as though he hasn't heard from me in forever. That reminds me, if you have letters to go to Erebor--or Rivendell, for that matter--you'd best have them done soon. I was just telling Bo and Kee that these are going out by the end of the week, whether yours are ready or not."  
Fili shrugged. "It is not as though we don't have the time. I just forget about it until--wait, you were just telling Bo?"  
"Yes, he was sitting right there, but not for long," Bilbo explained. 

Thinking on it, Fili wondered if Bofur was upset Bilbo was writing to Thorin...and why, exactly? Bilbo had _married_ Thorin! How surprising could Bilbo writing him a letter be?

He said, "Well, back to it you go. I'll try not to interrupt you again."

Fili watched Bilbo continue his letter. Bilbo mouthed some of his thoughts as he went, smiled often, and paused occasionally to think--and sometimes to giggle and blush at whatever thought he had had! When he continued, he would go back to humming absentmindedly. Bilbo looked completely besotted, and very happy to be lost in whatever memories he was sharing with Thorin. Fili thought it was quite cute.

Turning his attention to Kili, Fili asked, "What are you reading?"  
Smirking, Kili said, "Dirty hobbit stories. There's a whole shelf, under there and hidden behind those histories. You should grab yourself one."

Fili's brows shot upward and he stole a glance at Bilbo. Well, well--wasn't he full of surprises?

*****

Bilbo went to bed early with a giggling Kili, who was clutching a small number of books to his chest. Bilbo put out the invitation for joining, but Fili declined--in part because Kili privately told him he wanted to spend tonight reading naughty stories alone with Bilbo, and also in part to see how Bofur reacted to being denied. Fili realized it was probably silly, but the mist of doubt that had been washed away with Bofur's glad mood (and wonderful fuck) had crept back in when his lover's disposition had changed this afternoon.

Fili couldn't get a read on Bofur's expression when Fili told Bilbo and Kili to go ahead without them. However, he didn't miss Bofur's dramatic sweep of Bilbo into his arms, nor the passionate kiss he gave him, nor the lingering look farewell.

*****

Alone in their room, Bofur asked, "Why alone tonight?"  
Fili put his arms around Bofur, clasping his hands at the nape of his neck. "Don't you ever get, I don't know, couples fatigue from sharing? The sex is glorious and no mistake, but I do love these nights when it is just us two. Leading up to the wedding in particular, I'm finding myself to be a little more greedy for our special times alone."  
"Aye, I do love our special times alone, though I also love our wickedness, all four together. With Bee having been sick, then last night being sort of a bust...well, I was just surprised you wanted to opt out again, that's all."  
Fili recoiled as though he had been struck. "Last night was a bust? Wonder whose bed _I_ slept in, then, because it certainly didn't feel like a bust to me!"

Fili turned away from Bofur and folded his arms, hurt and hot embarrassment burning in his face and chest. He thought last night had been so magnificent!

"Fee...Fili, please," Bofur said softly, moving in and embracing him from behind.  
"No, you are entitled to your opinion. I'm merely surprised to learn having my arse and renewing our bond was a bust compared to mouthplay with Bilbo," he snapped.  
Fili struggled but Bofur held him firm. "It isn't like that! How can you say that? That part of our night was blissful, filthy, and fantastically amazing--how could it be otherwise?"  
"You tell me, you're the one who said it!"  
"Listen to me! I meant last night was bust for us trying to play with _them_ , not for what came after, not for playing with each other! Durin's Axe, Fili! Please listen."

Fili felt the conflict warring under his skin. He wanted to believe, for both pride and heart's sake, but Bofur's poor choice of words had not been the first odd thing to transpire. Still, Bofur's hands on his arms, the rings gleaming in the candlelight when he looked down, and the gentle feeling of Bofur's breath against his cheek made it hard to remain angry. He turned in Bofur's arms to look at him and found the loving expression on his face too hard to resist.

"My Fee," Bofur whispered.  
"Bo..."

Bofur closed the distance between them with a kiss.

*****

Fili and Bofur made love and had, at Bofur's insistence, took turns finishing inside the other. With Bofur holding nothing back, Fili completely forgot his worries and his doubts for the duration.

Bofur flopped back on the coolness of his pillow, naked and sweaty. Fili landed on the pillow next to him with a happy sigh. Bofur had poured everything he had into their intense session, wanting Fili to _feel_ how much Bofur cherished him. Though Bofur had truly thought it was unfortunate tonight would not be a shared night after too many without Bilbo in his arms, a night with his golden god was hardly a misfortune. His phrasing of that sentiment had proved nearly disastrous, though. 

They had not noticed the sounds of ecstasy carry down the hall while they were busy making their own. With Bofur and Fili now still, the lovers' noise was unmistakable: Bilbo's yelps and groans, Kili begging to be fucked harder, the two shouting encouragement until they peaked and faded, one after another. 

Bofur looked up at the ceiling, but he was too gone inside his head to notice the flicker of candlelight against the texture. Wistfully, he pictured what he imagined Bilbo had been doing to Kili, thinking how badly he wanted it himself. There was a time--many, many times--when Bofur thought he would remain ignorant of the feeling of Bilbo's bond in his blood forever. Lately, though...the way Bilbo looked at him, the things they said, the things they _did_! They seemed to be building toward something more, but then Bofur would recall Fili's name tattooed on Bilbo's wrist in the name of friendship--right next to Bofur's. Was Bofur's devotion one-sided? It certainly didn't _seem_ that way, not with those sweet, blushing glances, not with the way they hungrily shook each other to the core whenever they were naked together. He exhaled a deep breath. It frustrated him not to know, though finding the truth was as daunting as being in the dark was. 

Fiil heard Bilbo and Kili come, followed by a heavy sigh from Bofur. Fili glanced over to see Bofur staring at the ceiling, unfocused, with conflict painted all over his face. Though Fili might have jumped too quickly onto tonight's particular misunderstanding, he knew he had seen this look several times before. Closing his eyes, he cataloged the instances in his mind, all coinciding with Bofur's blue moods and hurt feelings, all of them pointing back to Bilbo. 

Bofur blew out the candle and went back to the mental, emotional circles he was running. He thought Fili had long since fallen asleep when his thoughts were disturbed by the warmth of his voice.

"You're obsessed with him," Fili said, matter-of-factly.  
Bofur thought a moment before replying. "What makes you say that?"  
"I know what you look like in love, you know."  
"But you already know I love him."  
"You're more restless these days, too," insisted Fili.  
"Well, it is nearly winter," Bofur explained. "That happens when the days grow shorter."  
"Your restlessness is more specific. What's more, I recognize the look in your eyes, Bo. I've seen you wear it before, back before we bonded. It is the same look Kee had those long weeks Bee allowed him into his bed but not his body. It is desire, frustration, and adoration, blended into one."  
"Fee, I-"  
Fili cut him off plainly. "-You want a bond with him."  
There was a beat of silence. "I do wish it, sometimes."  
"You know very well a bond isn't a 'sometimes' thing. It is all or nothing," Fili said.  
Bofur closed his eyes. "Aye, I know."  
Fili sighed. "When it goes beyond 'sometimes,' I'm going to need to know."

He rolled onto his side, facing away from Bofur, and ended the conversation.

Bofur blinked into the dark, conflicted. He wanted to tell Fili he already knew what he wanted, wanted to tell him it had gone well beyond "sometimes" already. Encouragingly, Fili himself seemed to understand it was an eventuality, not saying " _if_ it goes beyond," but " _when_." Still, Bofur's tongue wouldn't speak his confession. Fili's tone in questioning him was not angry, but it was not particularly welcoming, either. Bofur was too confused by Bilbo's signals himself to attempt to start down that road while having to sort out Fili in the middle of it. Now was not the time to dump out a bag of marbles, not when he was uncertain whether he was even going to get to play. He would have the conversation with Fili when there was something to definitively have it about.


	19. Interlude:  A Brief Peek In On Thorin and Bifur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A wee interlude. An interlude-ette, if you will.

As he traveled long, weary leagues, Thorin had spent the past weeks wondering so many things: How much did he need to share with Balin about what all had transpired? When should he tell Dís the things she needed to know? How was he to get ready for Bilbo's visit while planning a wedding and running a kingdom? Would he _have_ a kingdom to fret over at all when he returned? Though he had all the leagues between the Shire and Erebor to think on them, he still had more questions than he had answers. 

Most of all, he wondered how he was going to get through the winter without his hobbit? Oh, he had done it before (with a broken heart, no less), but this time seemed far more difficult. There was something about knowing he _could_ have Bilbo that made the not having that much worse. As he closed in on the final league towards Erebor, he found comfort in the knowledge that at least he was returning to his mountain married, something that was little more than a dream the last time he traveled upon this road. 

" _Rings_ ," he thought to himself with a smile. " _We ought to have some sort of rings_."

*****

Elrond was eventually satisfied with Bifur's progress enough to let him remain waking more or less as normal. Apparently, the axe had been well on its way to growing out and might have simply fallen out on its own eventually. Elrond explained the removal was the part of the procedure he had feared most, and it had carried the most risk. Since nature and time had taken care of a great deal of it, Elrond's greater attentions turned to mending what the blade had severed so long ago. That, too, followed the path of Elrond's fonder hopes, but Elvish magic could only take them so far. The rest was up to Bifur and how much work he was willing to put towards it.

Estel and Nori took turns working through Bifur's speech exercises with him daily. At the beginning, talking for too long gave Bifur terrible headaches. Estel had been taught a basic healing technique for such maladies and sometimes, it worked. Other times, Bifur would need to rest in as much darkness as he could muster, usually with a black piece of cloth over his eyes to help block the light. 

As days passed, the severity of Bifur's speaking headaches lessened. On good afternoons, he could hold a conversation all through lunch with only the slightest twinge at the end. Though neither ease of speaking nor his vocabulary were where they were prior to his injury, Bifur was heartened by the progress--though it was not as rapid as he had originally hoped. Determined, he continued doing his speech exercises with Estel and Nori, and agreed to submit to Lord Elrond's deeper, induced, elvish sleeps every few days accelerate his healing and reduce his headaches.

One long day, after his exercises and some lunch, Bifur asked Nori, "How did you know you wanted to stay with Nîfon?"  
Shrugging, Nori said, "I don't know if it was any one thing in particular."  
"You're a big help," Bifur grumbled sarcastically.  
"I'm not trying to be vague on purpose! It wasn't an idea or any sort of thought that came to me in clear words, you know. It was more like a feeling in my middles. It quivered like mad when we were together, and wrenched unpleasantly when I thought of continuing onto Erebor without him."  
"But didn't you weigh the pros and cons, or think about how you were from two different peoples? Weren't you scared of what the future would be like?"  
Nori shook his head decisively. "When it comes to decisions, I don't bother with all that nonsense swirling about in my head. My gut has not once steered me wrong, and every time I've tried to ignore what it told me, I've lived to regret it...sometimes just barely lived, period. My gut said it wanted Nîfon, so here I am."

Bifur considered the worries of his mind versus his own feelings when it came to Rorimac.

"When did your gut tell you that?" he asked.

Nori smiled--it was as soft, sweet, and genuine of an expression as Bifur had ever seen on his face--and replied, "I set my eye on him that first day we met in the Shire, but if you are referring to the moment I knew beyond doubt my heart and future were his? It was the morning after the wedding, when I woke up with him in my arms."

Bifur felt a swell of happiness for his friend...and the dull, echoing throb of quite a headache to come.

Ever observant, Nori noticed Bifur's distress. "I see you wincing, and I don't think it is solely because this elf has turned me into a sop. You feeling the pain coming on again?"  
Bifur nodded.  
"That's enough practice for today, then," Nori said. "You're doing well, I think. No stutters or forgetting words the past two days, and today was in no way a short one. I'll go let Estel know you've had a headache come on, in case he can comfort you to sleep."  
"Thank you."  
"Shush, now," Nori admonished. "You'll only make it worse."

On his way out the door, Nori paused. "For once, I'm not going to pry, but if you feel the need to unburden your heart...well, it would be good practice for your speech, at any rate."

With that, Nori left him to his rest.


	20. Insinuation of Gilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something strange is happening at Bag End

Fili sat on Belladonna's glory box and stretched out his legs. Deep down, he knew Bilbo would hate seeing him sit there, but he was drawn to it, having come to dislike sitting anywhere else when he had a pipe.

Fili puffed and ruminated. Bofur had left him earlier in the day to meet up with Rorimac, presumably to talk about Bifur. He didn't begrudge Rorimac any of Bofur's time, though. They had developed a friendship because of their connections to Bifur, but Fili never saw the slightest flicker of anything more for Rorimac on Bofur's face the way he did with Bilbo. Indeed, trying to compare Rorimac to Bilbo as they related to Bofur was laughable. Rorimac got nothing more than kind glances of friendship. Bilbo was the one who received looks of love. More than love, really. Fili noted the desperation in Bofur's eyes was growing, the want barely disguised when he looked at Bilbo. Something as simple as, "Do you want pancakes?" this morning had resulted in a deep hunger in Bofur's returning gaze, one that had nothing whatsoever to do with the food.

Fili didn't have the heart to blame Bilbo, though. Bilbo was simply accepting the attention that came his way and warmly returning it as he thought a lover should. He did not appear to be obsessed with Bofur, nor was he purposefully attempting to usurp Fili's place at Bofur's side, and Kili--Kili hardly seemed to be ailing from Bilbo's relationship with Bofur at all. Save for the incident where Kili was driven to seek comfort in Fili's arms (for which Bilbo had well made up before the night had passed), Bilbo was as attentive to his husband as he ever was. Even Fili himself didn't suffer a lapse of Bilbo's affections. No, he thought darkly, it was Bofur who was shifting his ardor, leaving Fili feeling as though his place in his life had diminished. Fili noted rather particularly that Bofur hadn't argued when he accused him of obsession, either.

He ceased to smoke; he merely held his smouldering pipe as he retreated further inward. A sunken unrest built within him and murmurs from an unknown voice in his head churned inky in otherwise orderly thought. Resentment and jealousy crept outward from his chest in fine, sour tendrils, each one laced with Bofur's name.

Fili hadn't realized he had been grinding his teeth until a noise distracted him enough to feel the ache in his jaw. He paused, hearing it again. It was a noise of distinct pleasure. He put down his pipe and went to go investigate. A little sensual observation (or bodily delight) might be just the thing to quell his uneasy agitation.

 

****

Peeking through the open door, Fili took in the scene: Kili sat on his knees, bum resting on his heels, naked, back to the bedpost, his hands bound to the post behind him near his waist. His feet weren't restrained, but he wasn't going much of anywhere the way he was perched. Bilbo was nude and on his knees as well, in front of him, touching himself while Kili looked helplessly on with his own erection ignored. Fili watched for several moments as Bilbo lewdly teased the powerless Kili.

Fili stepped into the room, making his presence known.

"Would you mind if I helped you along?" he asked, already shedding clothes.  
Bilbo glanced up, unfazed by Fili's sudden appearance. "Which one of us?"  
"I suppose helping one helps the other, but I was rather considering assisting you in taunting my brother."

Bilbo straightened up to his knees. He exchanged a look with Kili, who was in a position to do little more than shrug and nod.

"Very well. You are welcome to touch," Bilbo said.

To Bilbo's surprise, Fili splayed his palm in the middle of the his back and urged him face down on the bed as he was when Fili found them. From the corner of his eye, Bilbo saw the portable bottle of slick plucked from where Bilbo had left it on the bed. Moments later, a lubricated finger gently rubbed around his hole.

"Spread yourself," Fili said.  
Bilbo did as he was told. "I didn't realize this was how you planned to taunt Kee."  
"Should I stop?"  
"No," Bilbo exhaled. "In fact, I would say you better hadn't dare."

Fili glanced up at Kili, who was breathing shallowly and staring at Fili's stroking fingers.

"How about it, Kee?" he asked. "Do I have your leave? Should I massage him deeper?"  
"Yes," Bilbo and Kili both groaned in unison.  
Fili hummed a laugh. "Such naughty lads."

He teased a fingertip inside, then two.

"How far did you get before I showed up, dear hobbit?" Fili said quietly, almost to himself.  
Bilbo opened his mouth to answer, but Fili pushed in full with both wet digits and only a moan escaped.  
"Oh, you were at _least_ this far. So tell me," Fili did not stop slowly moving within Bilbo as he spoke, "and let me see if I've guessed correctly: You've bound Kee so he can only watch, and you've been teasing him by touching yourself and putting on a wanton little show?"  
"In part," Bilbo breathed.  
Curiously, Fili asked, "What's the rest?"  
"I wasn't going to tell Kee, yet."  
"Well, far be it from me to ruin the surprise. Let's work on the show, then. What do you think, Kee? Do you see me touching him so, with you unable to do anything about it?"  
"Yes," Kili replied, breathing shallowly.  
"Cor, you love it! Somehow, jealous, jealous Kee is letting me finger his precious hobbit. I can't believe the change from the first time you went mad over Thorin touching him! Gods, look at you! Your cock is swollen and wet for this."

Kili glanced down and it was achingly true--a single drip made its way down his needy shaft.

"You know I've never denied you anything," Kili said.  
Uncharacteristically dark and challenging, Fili replied, "Not even your husband."  
Wetting his lips, Kili replied, "No."  
"Not even when he loves what I'm doing to him. Not even on his knees, whimpering, hard, and close to begging with two of my fingers inside." Again, not a question.  
Erotic shivers skipped through Kili's veins. He breathed in raggedly. "No."  
"And what of your Bilbo? I wonder what he thinks while I'm violating him in front of your very eyes?"  
"Yes," Bilbo sighed.  
Fili slowly moved his fingers, methodically skimming over the soft spot that made Bilbo squirm moments before. "Yes what?"  
"Yes, that, yes _more_!"

 _He's more interested in your play than your own betrothed,_ the spiteful voice in Fili's head echoed.

Fili smoothed his free hand up and down the length of Bilbo's back, resting above Bilbo's tattoo. Something about the symbol of their house etched into the soft, pale flesh at the base of Bilbo's spine aroused him all the more. He slipped another digit inside and reveled in the satisfaction of Bilbo's renewed heat and soft sighs. Kili was flushed and sighing, too, his abdomen rippling while he rocked his hips, going through the motions with no lover to give him tactile satisfaction. Fili's own prick was hard, tingling, and wet. He felt drunk on desire and the heady feeling of being the reason Bilbo and Kili were so gorgeously provoked. The underlying turmoil that he had carried with him into the room mingled with those feelings until the combination vibrated dark and carnal through every appendage.

"I think...I think it is time to reveal the rest," Bilbo panted.

Fili eased out of Bilbo and helped him up, giving him room on the bed for Bilbo's next planned phase of play. Bilbo moved close to Kili, facing him.

"Are you ready?" Bilbo ran a light finger up the length of Kili's erection. "You feel ready."  
Though fairly far gone already, Kili flirted, "Is it my turn?"  
"It is _our_ turn, dear heart."

Bilbo turned around, returning to his hands and knees in front of Kili, and reached one hand back to guide Kili's cock to his entrance.

"Since you like to make me work for it and all," Bilbo sassed. "I thought you might like a replay."

Kili's answering laugh turned into a lewd groan as Bilbo took him in.

Fili watched Bilbo set himself upon the restrained, stone-hard Kili and commended BIlbo's cunning. Again, he mused how much he loved these little, baited games they played! He observed Kili, now less hubristic than he was the last time Bilbo was on his cock like this. Indeed, Kili gave himself over to the proceedings, not fighting the experience in the slightest. After several beats of erotic observation, Fili decided it was time to join back in.

Shifting in front of Bilbo, Fili urged him off his hands and helped hold him up by using his own body to push Bilbo's back to Kili's chest. The three of them were now on their knees, Fili in the most dominant position, and Bilbo only able to stay upright due to Fili in front of him, barely less helpless than the bound Kili. Bilbo could not move in this position, though Kili was able to rock his hips enough to pump in and out of him. Bilbo's game had been turned on its head by Fili's change, as he was now the one who could not move, but he was too curious and stirred up to terribly mind.

Fili was inflamed and captivated by Bilbo's and Kili's receptiveness. They were so willing to welcome him into their play, ready for what appeared to be anything. He had not been to bed with either of them without Bofur around and it was quite different than what he had experienced with them before. He grew greedy for more.

Kili thought he might burst from the arousal burning in his blood. He could feel the throb of it throughout his body, and it grew more urgent with each new element that was being introduced. Fili's arrival was a surprise to both of them, and he continued to surprise them as they went. Kili had expected Fili would revisit their personal bedplay with a more adventurous state of mind sooner or later, though this was nothing like what he had envisioned.

"Fee, please," pleaded Kili, craning his head forward for a kiss.

Cupping the back of Kili's head, Fili pulled him forward, trying to get a deep kiss over Bilbo's shoulder. Bilbo's body rocked against Fili's as Kili struggled to pump in and out of him with his limited movement. Bilbo's breaths were ragged next to Fili's ear, punctuated by broken sounds, and grunts of pleasure from Kili's throat echoed through their kiss. Fili felt around blindly for the bottle, breaking away from Kili's mouth when he found it. Liberally coating his fingers, he reached under Bilbo, back towards Kili's stones, softly massaging them. Kili called his name, struggling against his bonds, but Fili saw the rope had held firm.

Bilbo felt Fili's hand move to the base of Kili's shaft, slick fingertips grazing his most sensitive skin as he ghosted caresses over the point of entry. The touches grew firmer, more deliberate, and Bilbo could not help but cry out.

"Does that feel good?" murmured Fili dangerously.  
Bilbo moaned in the affirmative.  
"I'll bet you could take a little more."

Watching Fili over Bilbo's shoulder, Kili found the look on Fili's face unrecognizable. It was his handsome Fee, of course, but something clouded his expression and changed his face. It even appeared to change his _voice_. Fili wore the signs of a darker lust than Kili had been privileged to witness from him yet, and Kili was fascinated to observe it unfold. Curiously, Kili noted Fili was oiling his fingers again. The quiver-inducing touch at the base of his shaft returned, along with a rare pressure. He sucked in a breath, realizing that strange feeling against him was Fili working a digit inside Bilbo.

"You're touching me," Kili gasped.  
Bilbo clutched Fili's shoulder, moaning his name. "Yavanna's grace!"  
Voice raspy, Fili said, "Pleasurable?"  
Bilbo's answer sounded akin to a sob, "Yes! Don't-don't stop."  
"Don't stop," Kili echoed.

Bilbo felt Fili within him, rubbing in slight movements, stretching just so, while Kili still rocked against him. Play of this nature was so intimate that Bilbo was shocked Fili would want this manner of contact with him for himself...though he welcomed it with exuberance. There was something different about Fili today, something mysterious--something _dangerous_ \--and it made Bilbo's cock throb and ooze. Just as he had been hoping Fili would be brave enough to try another finger, Bilbo was indeed split wider. His moans degraded to muttered pleas as Kili's movements and Fili's own pressure nudged against that spot inside him that made him frantic with need.

Fili pressed his body against Bilbo, his tongue slipping through Bilbo's lips. His thoughts were swirling--a blurry mixture of envy, spite, want, attraction, and something foreign and murky he could neither recognize nor define. He recalled seeing Bilbo through the late summer window of Bag End, being split in two by Thorin and Kili. He knew, without doubt, that Bilbo had been filled that way more than once, that Kili-- _his_ Kili--had been brought towards his finish with the friction of Thorin sliding against him, and that they had come, together, inside Bilbo. The thought had bothered Fili then, though he didn't fully comprehend why, and it bothered him exponentially more now that he did. His jealousy compounded when he thought of Bofur, casting Fili aside in his desire to take Bilbo for his own. Though he loved him, Fili brooded that Bofur was a fool to think it could be thus. Bilbo had bedded and voraciously swallowed four dwarrows...and had been bonded by two more. This insatiable hobbit would never be satisfied with only one lover, not when he was panting and groaning against Fili's skin, stuffed with cock, and already begging in whimpers.

These notions churned within Fili, pooling low in his abdomen, joining his resentment and his pounding lust. His mouth opened seemingly on its own accord and, though they were his own, Fili was shocked by the words that reached his ears.

"Maybe I will do more than stretch you. Perhaps I will take you, too. Maybe I will fuck you against Kee's prick and make you both come. Thorin, Kee, and me, all bonded within you, you belonging wholly to us, just as your tattoo implies. What do you think, Kee? Should I make him a true Whore of our house? Shall I spill inside your husband, drenching your cock? Do you want to come in my seed, Bilbo's tight arse made all the more slick for you?"

Strung out and lust-wild, Kili was not as stunned by Fili's words as he would have been an hour before. Rather, they only further worked up his frenzy. He sucked a mark into the side of Bilbo's throat.

"Fuck him, Fee," he growled.

Bilbo's head lolled back against Kili's shoulder, disbelieving. What had he gotten himself into? Fili's fingers moved inside him and a cry escaped his throat.

"Gods--Kee!" Bilbo whined. "You can't possibly..."  
Kili's lips moved up Bilbo's neck, brushing Bilbo's ear as he whispered. "He has been part of me since the day I was born. I'd be surprised if his bond felt any different inside you."

The alien, dark spot in Fili's mind that had grown as he had smoked nearly cackled at the thought of Bofur finding out Fili had bonded Bilbo instead, and it seemed to dilate further with Kili's unlikely permission having been granted. Fili's voice, dropping lower, exuded with velvet allure as he continued to persuade.

"Think about how good it will feel coming around two cocks, with us filling you even as you scream and twitch. Both of us, dripping out of you," Fili bit into his neck on the other side, matching Kili's mark. "Your pulse against my lips says you want it as much as I want to give it to you."  
" _Fuck_ ," whined Bilbo.  
Fili murmured, "Say it, Bilbo. All I need is your assent."

Bilbo closed his eyes, feeling the urgency of his desire pulse until it threatened to burst through the very flesh of his core. He wanted to scream yes, to be split in two as he had not been since Thorin's departure, to be fucked and filled in the most forbidden ways. Fucked in half by brothers...Bilbo was ashamed at how excited he was by the notion. However, the thought of Thorin gave strength to the quiet, tiny voice of reason that, for the past several moments, had been fruitlessly shouting itself hoarse to be heard.

"And Bofur's and Thorin's," Bilbo managed to choke out. "They--what would they say?"

Bilbo's words made their way through the haze. Distant, cloudy logic told Fili they would never be able to explain it enough to Thorin for him to ever be forgiven, though he wasn't as concerned in that moment about Bofur. Bitterly, he imagined if the tables were turned, Bofur might do it without so much as summoning Fili's face in his mind.

"They would likely never speak to us again, other than to yell," Fili acquiesced. "No matter. There are other ways to make both of you moan my name."

Though the invocation of Thorin had quelled his strange, jealous fervor enough to reconsider, Fili still blazed with several desires. He slipped his fingers from Bilbo and wrapped his arm around Bilbo's body, holding him firmly while he licked into his mouth. As they kissed, the other hand snaked up into his hair.

Fili drew back slightly and Bilbo chased his kiss. Fili tightened the fingers in his hair, stilling him before Bilbo was able to reclaim his mouth.

"If I can't fuck you myself, I'll fuck you with my brother's prick," he said.

Using his new grip, he swayed Bilbo's body off and on Kili's cock. He was careful not to move too much at a time, lest Kili slip out or anyone get injured, but that did not mean he was gentle. Fili sucked and bit at Bilbo's lips, swallowing his desperate moans. His erection rubbed against Bilbo's body, and he could feel Bilbo hard against him, too.

Kili stopped thrusting when Bilbo's body started moving, though his sounds increased threefold in intensity. He leaned his head against the post and simply _felt_. Fucking Bilbo was always breathtaking, but having neither of them in control of the movement, coupled with the pure filth of what was happening--Fili was using Kili's own husband's arse to fuck him--well, that was a distinctive sort of rapture all its own. It quickly overwhelmed all his senses.

"I-I'm close!" Kili shouted.

The stimulation Bilbo was getting from being slammed down around Kili over and over was _almost_ enough to finish him off, and the friction of his prick against Fili's body was just the counterpoint he needed to get him the rest of the way there.

He moaned back, "Me too!"

Hardly feeling like he was the one governing his own body, Fili continued at his frenetic pace. He felt hot pulses of come strike his stomach as Bilbo tearlessly sobbed incoherent sounds. Not far behind, Kili broke next, the gravely, strained sound of his desperate pleasure making Fili rabid. There hadn't been enough of the right kind of sensation to get him off along with them, and the quaking, dark, passionate madness that had been driving him since before he walked through their door had reached its zenith.

Releasing Bilbo, Fili backed away from him. Bilbo fell forward and eased himself off Kill's cock. He noted with interest that, although things had gotten heated and fierce, Kili's hands remained fastened behind his back. He sat up on his knees properly, without the strain from having to have his legs spread, and scooted over to Kili. Fili rose next to them, standing on the bed.

Fili wiped Bilbo's come from his stomach and smeared it on his cock. He bent down, pulling his hand the length of Kili's shaft to gather the combo of oil and seed. He mixed the two swipes together on his own erection, stroking himself with it. He stood near their faces and almost changed his plans, thinking about those two mouths sending him over the edge. As exciting as such a thing would be, Fili sought a more illicit climax.

"Kiss," Fili demanded.

Bilbo and Kili needed no further prodding, kissing each other thoroughly.

Pumping himself and breathing raggedly, Fili barked frustrated orders. "No, not so deep. Tongue each other so I can see them outside of your mouths...a little wider apart. That's it. Oh--oh fuck, _ _that's it__!"

Fili stroked harder, faster, until, until...

" _Fuck_!" he exclaimed, pulsing, leaning in so it would spurt over their exposed tongues. Fili had lost one good stripe to Kili's cheek before he could aim, but Bilbo and Kili took the remaining ribbons exactly as he wished, passing his come into each other's mouths as he painted their kiss with it. If Fili could have had a second orgasm that moment, he would have--the sight of it was as obscene as he hoped it would be and more.

Reeling and light-headed, Fili dropped to his knees and fell back onto the bed, gasping. His mind cleared as his blood calmed and the strange murky feeling abated. Gone, too, were the rancorous echoes. He felt more like himself than he had since the morning. Movement at the end of the bed caught his newfound awareness as Kili untangled himself and Bilbo rubbed the ache out of his lover's arms. Upon gazing at their faces, the words and deeds of a troubled mind flooded back to him, filling him with horror.

Bilbo cleared his throat, feeling a little awkward now that the rush of passion (and all its perverted pleasures) was starting to subside.

He said, "I supposed I'd better get together something to clean us up. The basin is empty and that flannel...well, it is far from clean."

Bilbo flashed Fili a shy but knowing smile on his way out the door, which only added to Fili's growing mortification from what had just transpired. Joining their session, taunting Kili, and even handling Bilbo could all be excused as part of the recreation, but he had no way to explain away or justify trying to fuck Bilbo. Fili was aghast and perplexed that the thought had gone through his brain at all. Had they not stopped...! Fili tried not to think of them cooling down only for Bilbo to realize he was tied to him forever--and that was to say nothing of how indefensible it would have been later to Thorin and Bofur. Oh, merciful Mahal, _Bofur_! Fili could still feel the helpless ache within him as he watched Bofur cry over Thorin's first return to the bed at Bag End. Fili remembered how awfully it hurt Bofur for someone else to be granted what Bilbo had denied him. Fili felt nauseated that he might have been a party to the same. What had come over him? Had he been so blinded by envy and lust that he had gone that far afield of himself? And Kili! Gods, his brother! Though Kili did not seem bothered, apologies still spilled from Fili's lips.

"Kee, oh! I'm sorry, so sorry...I don't know what got into me! No, that's not true. I...I-"

Kili's convivial expression morphed into concern. Just moments ago, Fili had been leading them in a terrifically erotic display. Now, most of the color had drained from his face and his eyes were wild, haunted.

"What is it?" asked Kili.  
"It is Bo. He's been a bit obsessed with Bee lately and I've been, well, I've been jealous, if you want to know the truth. I got carried away, I guess, and...Mahal, Kee, don't be mad at me!"  
Still confused, Kili wondered, "Why would I be mad?"  
"The things I talked about, what I did!" _what I almost did_ , Fili added silently.  
Calmly, Kili replied, "To Bee, you mean? It seemed part of the show. It got us all off, at any rate. I'm hardly mad about it."

Simply the tone of Kili's voice quelled some of Fili's guilty terror, and his words further soothed him. Fili took several deep breaths.

He said, "I appreciate your understanding, and that's _you_ , but I still must apologize to Bee. What he must think of me!"  
"I don't think you do," Kili said. "He was loving it as much as I was. You'll notice he wasn't tied up this time, yet he let you do what you wanted. He accepted it as part of our play, too."  
"But it wasn't at the time! I was genuinely agitated," Fili blurted out.  
Kili regarded him more seriously. "Do you really want to tell him that? And tell him why? He would be horrified if he thought he was part of any discord between the two of you. It is very likely he would refuse to let either of you touch him again. Even if that was okay with you, which I suspect it is not, how much wider would that make this chasm between yourself and Bo, having to explain to him that play time is over for the four of us?"  
"Bo would be furious," agreed Fili glumly.  
"Aside from today, though, have you and Bo talked about how his feelings for Bee make you feel?"  
Haltingly, Fili answered, "Somewhat. I don't mind his feelings for Bee, though. The two of them being into each other is nothing new."  
Kili furrowed his brow in confusion. "Then why are you jealous?"  
"Because the way Bo behaves with me lately _is_ something new. There's something I can't quite put my finger on, but I can't name it enough to properly ask about it. I've asked him what he wants from Bee, but his answer is vague."  
"Maybe Bo doesn't know what he wants, either."  
"Maybe."

There was silence between them, enough to be able to hear Bilbo's return from down the hall.

Quietly, Kili murmured to Fili, "Apologize, if it that's what it takes to remove the stricken look from your face, but do not bring Bo or your jealousy into it unless you want to hatefully regret it."

Bilbo entered the room with warm, wet flannels for each of them, collecting them again when Kili and Fili were done cleaning up.

Fili decided to heed Kili's advice to a point, though he needed to at least apologize to Bilbo for attempting so crudely to take advantage of him. He placed his flannel in Bilbo's hand, searching for how to begin.

"Bilbo, I-I...well, things got a little wild, there, and I-"  
Bilbo shushed Fili with gentle fingers against his lips--and a sly gleam in his eye. "I sense an apology where none seems due. You took the game I was playing and turned it into a right adventure, you did. You should be commended for a job well done."  
Fili softly took Bilbo's wrist and moved the fingers away from his mouth. "The things I _suggested_ , though! Th-the things I said-"  
"-The things you said heated the blood and stiffened our cocks. Seemed like a good way to spend the afternoon to me. That was quite the exotic fantasy you spun for us all...and to think, you used to believe you had no talent for filthy talk!"

Opening his mouth for one last attempt at an apology, Bilbo cut him off again--this time with a gentle kiss.

"No more guilty arguments," Bilbo decreed. "I think I've proven time and time again I can handle most of what you rowdy dwarrows throw my way. The next words out of your mouth are going to be 'you're welcome' when I thank you for a lovely time and that's that. Now, thank you, Fee, for a lovely, dirty game this afternoon."

Fili looked at Bilbo, then Kili, then Bilbo again, bewildered and wondering how he had been so effectively disarmed in the face of such sincere, impassioned apologies. Though he still felt queer about the whole thing, he demurred.

"You're welcome," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, friends!


	21. Discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur's warm mouth sought Fili's. Sweet, soft tastes quickly bloomed into the voracious sweep of tongues. Bofur pulled Fili's shirt off and nuzzled his neck. 
> 
> "Kee is quite limber," he remarked impishly. "What do you s'pose they could have been doing to each other to injure him so?"  
> "Bee had him tied to a single bedpost for a long time, on his knees and with his hands knotted behind his back. That alone would be enough to make one a bit stiff."  
> Bofur smiled against Fili's throat. "I'll say!"  
> "You know what I mean!" Fili laughed, smacking Bofur's arse.  
> Bofur sprinkled kisses up Fili's jaw, moving toward his ear, and unlaced Fili's bottoms as he went. "You got more gossip than I did, it seems. Kee tell you all that?"

Fili had felt nervous around Bilbo and Kili for a short while after their session, though Bilbo's easy smiles and Kili's...well, being _Kili_ had dispelled any remaining awkwardness before they prepared dinner. Fili was relieved he hadn't done any irreversible damage, and he was exponentially glad the mysterious, chemical impulse to fuck Bilbo had been thwarted. It was still a horrifying, full-scale mystery to him that he had attempted such a thing.

*****

Kili had begged off that night's bed sharing, citing sore muscles from the afternoon. As always, Bilbo followed him, leaving Fili and Bofur to spend the night alone together. Fili worried Bofur wouldn't take the news well. Bofur's pleasant mood as they readied for bed was a welcome surprise.

"From what I understand, Kee put his body through some strain having it off this afternoon," Bofur chuckled. "Didn't get all the naughty details, though."  
"You're not...upset we're on our own tonight?"  
"If Kee wants to take it easy, who can blame him? Although I've been missing our nights with them, I can't fault Bilbo for wanting to stay with Kee, either. If you were sore and aching, I'd want to stay with you. Besides, who's to say _we_ couldn't get up to a little something on our own tonight?"

Bofur's warm mouth sought Fili's. Sweet, soft tastes quickly bloomed into the voracious sweep of tongues. Bofur pulled Fili's shirt off and nuzzled his neck. 

"Kee is quite limber," he remarked impishly. "What do you s'pose they could have been doing to each other to injure him so?"  
"Bee had him tied to a single bedpost for a long time, on his knees and with his hands knotted behind his back. That alone would be enough to make one a bit stiff."  
Bofur smiled against Fili's throat. "I'll say!"  
"You know what I mean!" Fili laughed, smacking Bofur's arse.  
Bofur sprinkled kisses up Fili's jaw, moving toward his ear, and unlaced Fili's bottoms as he went. "You got more gossip than I did, it seems. Kee tell you all that?"

Fili had been looking for an opportunity to broach this subject with Bofur all evening without appearing like it was something of which to be ashamed. Luck was on his side, as this seemed like the perfect way to bring it up. 

"Actually," Fili started. "I, ah, discovered Bilbo and Kili playing that very game in their bedroom today."  
"Mmmhmm," Bofur replied distractedly, reaching inside Fili's trousers. "What did you do?"  
Fili replied, "I took of my clothes and joined them."

Bofur's kisses and questing hands stilled. He leaned back to study Fili's face. Bofur's smile was no longer there. 

Coolly, he asked, "Joined them how?"

The sudden change of Bofur's expression and attitude rankled Fili. True, Fili had felt shame for his outlandish treatment of Bilbo, but Bofur wouldn't have been able to guess that at this stage. 

Fili responded, "What do you mean, 'joined them how?' Joined them sexually, of course."  
"Did you? Did you _really_? That's just great," sneered Bofur, taking full steps back.  
"Wait, you're _angry_? _You're_ angry?" asked Fili, not sure which part annoyed him more.  
Bofur's sarcasm continued. "No! Why _wouldn't_ I find it wonderfully lovely that you're romping around in their bedroom without me? I'm only your intended."  
"And I'm your intended, and Kili and Bilbo are married!" Fili insisted, defending his position. "Still the three of us have played without Kili, and you've played with Bilbo without me--more than once!"  
"That's different. Bilbo is just a bit of frolic for you, and you for him. It isn't like it is with Thorin, or Kee, or even me, where there are more tender feelings that sometimes require privacy. There's not the same reason for you want to take Bilbo off alone, nor is there anything enduring between you to compel him to follow you for such intimate liaisons."

Fili did not find Bofur's reasoning the least bit flattering, though he chose to address the point as presented.

"Kee was there, though! It was still a game. In fact," he paused, recalling the more scandalous parts, "it wasn't particularly tender at all."  
"Still, I don't know how I feel about being intentionally left out."  
"Intentionally?" Fili repeated, incredulous. "You were off somewhere in Bywater! You weren't even on the hill!"  
Bofur nodded in concession, his face softening considerably. "Okay, so _not_ intentionally, then, I'll give you that. No, you're right. It wasn't the same as being home and merely uninvited."

Fili regarded Bofur for a moment, honestly surprised that he had gotten this bothered by Fili, Bilbo, and Kili having a bit of fun without him, especially given that Bofur and Bilbo had had incredibly private moments of their own. Fili wondered if Bofur had been more upset about Bilbo off with his beloved intended...or if it was Fili having the nerve to touch Bilbo without his Bofur's say so and supervision that tweaked his nose more. Bofur's overreaction to the more innocent bedplay he _thought_ had happened annoyed Fili enough that he pushed aside his own feelings of guilt and confusion over the actual events. 

"You and Bilbo have had yourself a few personal moments with me just down the hall, you realize," Fili reminded him curtly.  
Bofur shrugged. "Like I said, that's different."

 _I don't see how_ , Fili silently retorted, but he knew there would be no winning this argument (nor peaceful sleeping tonight) if he voiced it aloud. Indeed, Fili was sick of arguments in general. He had thought Bofur finally winning that chance all those weeks ago to take Bilbo to bed was going to quell some of his moodiness--a personality trait that seemed very out of place in the Bofur with whom Fili had fallen in love--but it only seemed to exacerbate it lately. He scowled and glanced down at his hands.

"Come now, please don't wear that expression," Bofur said, his voice far sweeter than in the moments before. He tipped Fili's face up to look at him. "I don't love missing out but I _do_ love you. C'mon, gorgeous. How about we pick up where we left off and maybe you could give me a little taste of what I missed today?"

Against his will, Fili's lips twitched towards a smile. He wanted to stay mad, but when Bofur took that light, flirtatious tone--when he sounded like _his_ Bo--he found it impossible to resist him. 

"I'll give you a taste, alright," Fili muttered, hoping he sounded ornery.  
Bofur grinned wolfishly. "That sounds _especially_ promising."

*****

"Does it hurt anywhere in particular?" Bilbo asked Kili. "I could massage you a bit."  
Kili climbed up onto the bed. "No, it is just a little pinch up by the neck. It is nothing, really, though I'm not one to turn down a massage if you're offering."

Bilbo urged Kili onto his stomach and straddled the small of his back, oiling up his hands and setting to work on Kili's shoulders. Kili hummed happily while Bilbo gently prodded him with his fingertips. 

"At least it isn't badly knotted," Bilbo observed.  
Kili admitted, "I might have...exaggerated it a little for Fee and Bo."  
"Oh? Why's that?"

Kili didn't want to cause Bilbo undue alarm by telling him specifically _why_ he thought Fili and Bofur needed time alone together. He creatively explained himself without going into defining detail.

"I thought maybe it would be good for them to have another night on their own. We had already stolen Fee this afternoon, after all, and with the wedding coming up, I thought they could use another night for just each other. The past couple days notwithstanding, we've been commanding their nights quite a bit."  
"Dear heart, that was a lovely idea!" gushed Bilbo. "You're so thoughtful."

There were several moments of blissful sighs and more happy hums while Bilbo worked his hands down Kili's back. 

Bilbo spoke again, "Speaking of Fee...um. Well. Ah, how can I put this?"  
"What?"  
Bilbo decided blunt was the way to go. "You told him to fuck me."  
"Only if you had wanted to, mind you," Kili noted.  
Bilbo climbed off Kili's back. Exasperated, he said, "That's not the point!"  
"It turned out he wasn't serious!"  
"But you didn't know that at the time! I don't know if I knew it, either, but regardless, you gave him permission. What if he would have done it? What if I had said yes?"  
Groaning, Kili rolled over. "Does it matter?"  
"You told your brother to imprint me. I'd say it does matter."  
Kili sat up and took Bilbo's hands. "Look, my jewel. Obviously, it was up to more than solely me, and the two of you made better decisions than I did in that moment regarding the other people it would affect. I had gotten caught up in the talk and the filth and was thinking only of us three. If it _had_ happened, though, and if you weren't upset about it afterward yourself, I would not be sitting here brokenhearted. It is _Fee_. Outside of you, no one else means more to me in this world. Him making love to you is practically like me doing it."  
Bilbo fixed him with a skeptical look. "I beg to differ on that last point. Would you have thought that if you and I hadn't bonded yet and he wanted to go first?"  
"That is a silly argument," responded Kili, rolling his eyes. "Of course I wouldn't have--for a dozen reasons, not the least of which being that I was far less secure and substantially more jealous prior to our bond."  
Bilbo nudged Kili back on the bed, laying on top of him. "I still differ considerably on that last point. There's no one like you, Kee."


	22. Mind That Cake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I heard you and Fee and Kee had yourselves a bit of fun yesterday while I was gone," Bofur said.  
> In between kisses up Bofur's neck, Bilbo replied, "Mm...more than a bit."

Bilbo was up the next morning, still bustling about the bedroom while Kili grumbled. The rest of the house was silent and asleep.

"Bee, it is early. The sun is barely up!"  
"The sun has been up for at least an hour."  
"I don't want to get out of bed yet," Kili whined, sitting up. "Do we have to go?"  
Bilbo crossed his arms and fixed him with a look. " _We_ do not have to go. _You_ do not have to get up yet. _I_ will be back later."  
Kili dramatically fell back against the pillow. "I've been forsaken!"  
"Yes, yes, yes--you are all alone in this world and it is a terrible tragedy. Now, do you want me to make you something to eat before I go?"  
"No," Kili pouted.  
"I'll be back this afternoon...and I'll have a chocolate cake with me, just so you know," Bilbo said.  
Kili peeked out of one eye. "Chocolate cake?"  
Bilbo hummed in nonchalance. "Mmm, likely three layers."  
"Really?" asked Kili, brightening.  
"That is part of the plan. _Now_ do I get a kiss goodbye?" Bilbo asked, leaning over the bed.  
Grinning, Kili rolled toward him and granted his request. "You were going to get one anyway, you know."  
Bilbo winked. "I know."

*****

Bofur had been smoking alone much more since their return from Ered Luin. In fact, nearly daily he found himself hunkered down on that glory box, solitary and deep in his thoughts. He thought perhaps it was his nerves over whatever this thing was with Bilbo likely driving him to it, as he spent most of his time while puffing (and thereafter) engaged in speculation and puzzling about the nature of what was between them. Bofur had been sneaking off for these introspections privately, the presence of another person being counter-productive to his soul-searching. However, Bofur feared Fili would figure it out soon enough. The day before, Bofur had emptied one of the barrels of Southfarthing pipeweed Gandalf had procured them for the winter. Going forward, he would have nothing with which to take his secret, morning smoke without asking Fili for some of his.

Bofur thought it might perhaps best to skip it altogether for a day or two, anyhow. He'd started to feel quite odd the past few times he had had a pipe, sometimes with the feeling lingering on until bed time. Today, in fact, he still felt some of the strange murky-headedness from the day before. He wondered if the leaf in the bottom half of the barrel hadn't been dried properly, causing some sort of bizarre Shire mold to develop. He made a note to ask Bilbo about mildly hallucinogenic strains of pipeweed fungi later.

Instead of smoking, he decided to work on a carving project. Working wood was soothing and meditative for him. 

He sat down at Bilbo's desk to utilize the light there and it didn't take long for Bofur's mind to be again consumed with thoughts of the hobbit, of Fili, and of how much he wanted and needed them in both his life as well as his blood. He wondered if this was how Bilbo felt when he was preparing to marry Kili: adoring Kili far too much to contemplate ever letting him go, but knowing how badly he needed Thorin, too? 

Bofur turned himself inside out with such thoughts while he shaped the wood in his hands.

*****

Hamfast came to Bag End to drop off a note for Fili. Fili was so delighted about its contents, he pressed several coins into the confused hobbit's hands.

"But Mister Fili, I didn't do anything but carry it!" protested Hamfast.  
"I've been waiting for this news for days upon days and the coin is for the messenger bearing such glad news."  
Hamfast nodded before curving his expression in question. "But shouldn't you be giving this to them who sent it?"  
"Trust me when I tell you I've given them _plenty_ of coin already, Hamfast," Fili assured him.

The hobbit shrugged and went on his way with an extra skip in his walk.

*****

Fili found Bofur at Bilbo's desk, carving a small piece of wood.

"Bo! Come with me on my errands today!" Fili said brightly.

Bofur sighed to himself. It had been too many days since he had exchanged private, intimate words (and other things) with Bilbo. Bofur had missed those moments terribly. So much had happened in his mind since then, he yearned for the comfort Bilbo's heart and body would no doubt bring. Though Bilbo had left Bag End early that morning, Bofur had been hoping Fili and Kili might go out on their own, thus giving him a chance to potentially steal a few sweet moments with Bilbo in between his return and theirs. 

Glancing up from his carving to reply, Bofur said, "No, you go ahead. I'm happy and warm here for now."

Bofur looked back to his work, missing how Fili's face fell. 

"Really? You're sure?"  
"Please, go on," Bofur said, mistaking Fili's disappointment for concern. "You and your brother have yourself a day. I'll be fine."  
"Well, okay," Fili said reluctantly, coming over to kiss Bofur on the cheek. He glanced down at Bofur's hands. "You're lucky Bee can't see you carving at his desk. You'd better not get any shavings on it. He'll be in an awful fuss, you know."  
Bofur grinned. "I've no doubt of that!"

Fili smiled back, still not quite feeling the joy himself but relieved to see genuine amusement on Bofur's face. 

"If Bee beats us home, tell him not to worry after Kee," he said. "I might have him out until around time to fix dinner."

Bofur pulled Fili down by his sleeve until he got a real kiss goodbye.

"Enjoy yourselves," Bofur said. "Make sure you wrap up warm."

*****

Halfway through the afternoon, Bilbo struggled through the door with a cake plate and a large leather bag strapped diagonally across his body. Bofur jumped up when he heard the noise.

"You need help with that?" he asked.  
"Please! Mind that cake, though."

Bofur carried the cake to the dining table while Bilbo unloaded his bag. 

"Are you the only one home?" inquired Bilbo.  
"Aye. The lads are out and about doing some errands of Fee's."  
"Ugh, I hope they do it quickly. There's no doubt winter is around the corner with that frigid wind picking up outside." Bilbo rubbed his cold cheeks. "I've only walked from the Cottons' but I'm practically ice."  
"Let me warm you then," Bofur purred, stepping close enough to Bilbo for their bodies to touch.  
Bilbo smiled, peeking up through Bofur through his lashes. "That sounds like a welcome proposition."

Bofur bent to claim a kiss. All his daydreams of smoothly seducing Bilbo were abandoned in favor of the excitement he felt the instant their lips met. Bofur happily surmised that Bilbo must have considerably missed him, too, because he fervently gave back as much as he got. It was _intoxicating_. Bofur swooped Bilbo up in his arms, carrying him down the hall while the hobbit giggled in delight. He playfully tossed him on the bed. 

"Well, I know where _your_ intentions lie!" Bilbo remarked.

Scooting to sit on the edge, Bilbo beckoned to Bofur, tugging him down by his pigtails to heatedly reclaim his mouth. His hands moved on to busy themselves with seeking laces and fastenings to undo. 

Though Bofur was elated that Bilbo was wasting no time attempting to divest him of his clothes, he still felt last night's jealousy that Fili had experienced his Bilbo without him. He couldn't help saying something.

"I heard you and Fee and Kee had yourselves a bit of fun yesterday while I was gone," Bofur said.  
In between kisses up Bofur's neck, Bilbo replied, "Mm...more than a bit."  
Bofur frowned, but Bilbo couldn't see it. "Indeed?"

Bilbo mistook Bofur's tight tone for the strain of arousal. He thought back over those times he and Kili had whispered filth about their other lovers in bed, as well as the times Bofur or Fili confessed to Bilbo how they did the same to further work each other into an erotic frenzy. While Bilbo and Bofur used to share sexual conversations about their other partners, it occurred to him they had spoken only of each other since becoming lovers themselves. Feeling naughty, Bilbo instigated a dialogue he hoped would lead to less clothes and more orgasms.

"Your Fee--merciful Eru, he's so _filthy_! He positively made me quiver," Bilbo flirtatiously whispered in Bofur's ear.

Bofur didn't like hearing that at all. Stilling in his jealousy, he coldly said, "Did he?"

Bilbo felt the difference in Bofur's embrace immediately, and his icy change in tone chilled Bilbo, too. Bilbo hadn't meant to threaten Bofur, speaking of his intended in such a way! In truth, Bilbo was surprised by this reaction. After all, weren't the four of them in this obscene arrangement together? He pushed back to look at him, noting Bofur's stormy expression with alarm.

"Oh, my. Please don't misunderstand me! You must know I'm not trying to do anything to divide the two of you. What I have with Fee is not like what I have with Kee or Thorin, nor you with him. You know I love the relationship the two of you have with each other," he explained.

Bofur thought about how he was nearly Fee's equal when it came to gestures of affection from Bilbo--both had their names in his skin, both had piercings in their names, both were welcome in his bed, both shared his home, and he knew there were more if he could only think straight through the onslaught of heartbreaking disappointment. The only thought that rose above that cacophonous din was that Bofur himself was excluded from Bilbo's list of those who meant most to him. He stepped back.

"What are we doing here?" Bofur asked, sounding far too agitated in Bilbo's estimation.

Bilbo frantically searched his mind, trying to figure out where he had miscalculated. Didn't they have an agreement? Wasn't this part of it? Hadn't Bofur held Bilbo while Fili had sucked him off? Why was it now that Bofur decided to get pear-shaped about Fili playing with Kili and Bilbo?

Carefully, Bilbo asked, "What do you mean?"  
"I mean, what are _we_ doing here? You and me. What is this to you? What am I to you?"

Bofur's questions quite suddenly helped clear Bilbo's confusion. It hadn't previously occurred to him that Bofur would be was jealous _over_ Bilbo, not _of_ Bilbo. For several moments he was dumbfounded Bofur could be jealous of his own betrothed--to say nothing of how improbable it seemed Bofur could still carry doubts about what was between the two of them. How did Bofur still not understand what he meant to Bilbo?

Bilbo's hesitation spoke volumes as far Bofur was concerned. His mouth set to a grim, thin line. Since the day Bilbo and Kili had come to them with a declaration of Bilbo's love and the invitation to their bedroom, Bofur had hoped this was leading somewhere, hoped that he hadn't imagined this thing between them was mutual and that maybe--despite his worries and his insecurities--there was a possibility of them one day escalating towards the ultimate intimacy. He had been a fool.

Bofur shook his head and walked around Bilbo, out of the room.

Bilbo blinked, watching Bofur retreat down the hall.

_"You must learn to take better care of the things that are most cherished by you."_

At the time, Bilbo thought Yavanna's words referred to Kili alone, but now he wondered if she hadn't been considerably more prescient.

Bilbo followed him to the parlor. 

"Bo, please. Stop a moment and talk to me! Where's all this coming from? What's it about?"  
Bofur momentarily halted his attempted fleeing, turning to Bilbo and snapping, "All this time together, all our intimate moments together, and you cannot figure it out? Then again, why should I be surprised you cannot read me, either?"

Oh, how Bilbo wanted to hold him, kiss him, anything he could do to chase that look from Bofur's face!

He said, "Bo, you have a smile so sweet and beautiful that it makes all who see it feel like everything is right in the world...but how often does it mask your other feelings? Half the time I don't know something is wrong with you until it has already burst into thousands of pieces! Please, speak to me. Help me understand so I might have your smile--the real one--again."

Bofur felt wounded inside, but something in Bilbo's voice and pleading, worried expression called to him. Did he genuinely not understand? Bofur swallowed the bitterness of oncoming tears and marshaled the courage to confess his heart and mind.

"I want you to take a moment to think about Thorin and how he draws you, how he pulls you, how you married Kee and still felt the need of him. Think about how much you adore him and let it fill your chest with that glorious, shimmering fullness that makes it feel as though your body can't contain it. Hold that feeling in your mind while imagining if Thorin hadn't tried to harm you, nor had done sneaky things to undermine your relationship. Imagine that when he unintentionally hurt your feelings from time to time, he was fully repentant when he realized it. Imagine he was kind and lovely to you the whole time you and Kili were wooing, listening to your troubles, helping you find your way, flirting with you to build your confidence, and teaching you about sex. On top of the great love I've asked you to hold in your mind, imagine how you would feel about Thorin if he had been those things to you as well, because that is how I feel when it comes to you. I'm wildly, ridiculously in love with you in a way you'll never be with me."

Bofur's analogy nearly made Bilbo stumble. He knew Bofur loved him and had done for some time, but to think that Bofur might love him so _strongly_...the implications were as daunting as they were blood-quickening. Still, for all his insight, Bofur was missing a crucial detail.

"What makes you think I'm not wildly in love with you?" Bilbo asked.  
"You haven't given me anything you haven't given Fili, too, and you've made unmistakably clear to me your feelings towards him do not run in the direction of romantic devotion."  
Bilbo's mind reeled. "Wait, what? To begin with, obviously I do care for Fili if I let him in my bed, to say nothing of the permissions he has to my body. That you would suggest otherwise quite frankly does make me feel a bit like the Whore of Durin, and not in the way I prefer."

Bofur let out a groan of frustration. Bilbo was fixating on the wrong detail! He tried a different manner of explanation.

"Every time I allow myself to hope and think we feel the same, I'm wrong," said Bofur. "You asked to be my lover, and I thought it was everything I wanted, but you didn't need me the way I needed you. You etched my name into your skin and I thought, Durin's Axe! Surely, surely you must adore me to carry me with you...but you carry Fili's name too. I let myself hope, but I'm always two steps further onto the ledge while you stay safe on the ground. It is constantly being proven you don't dream of me the way I dream of you."

Bilbo shook his head, heart aching. He had thought Bofur understood so much more than he did. No wonder he was upset.

Gently, Bilbo said, "It isn't a matter of love; it is a matter of free time. I have you, Fili, and Kili all sharing this house, assimilating to the Shire. I've got Thorin Eru-knows-where out there, hopefully not getting himself killed, I've got Ori here and although it was his choice, I feel a little responsible, and then I've got Rorimac to worry about, too, I don't _have_ to dream of you because you are here, breathing, living, loving...what does it say about me that you cannot see it that way? Do I neglect you so terribly that you are forced to merely dream of me, even as you share my home and sometimes share my bed?"

Daring to reach out and take one of Bofur's hands, Bilbo continued.

"You point out Thorin and you point out Kee, but I remind you that you keep their company! Are you not welcome to my kisses? To my nights? To my days? To my very life? Do you not have leave to speak tender words to me, nor hear the ones I have for you? How is it that I feel like we are sharing a vivid love affair and you feel as though you are left to lonely pining? What can I do to show you how I feel?"

Bofur gazed at Bilbo, his final, deepest confession yet stuck in his throat.

Bilbo heard it, regardless, reading it in Bofur's eyes, seeing it all over his face, hearing it desperately pleading in his ears with Bofur's voice even though the dwarf's lips did not move.

_Oh._

All these weeks of forbidden teasing and whispered fantasies crystallized in perfect understanding. Those were not mere fancies meant to provoke titillation, as Bilbo had supposed. No, they were all but engraved invitations. Bilbo suddenly felt magnificently foolish for having missed something so obvious for so long.

"You-?" Bilbo began.

Bofur felt as though holding Bilbo's gaze in that moment was one of the bravest things he had ever done.

"Aye."


	23. Mind That Cake Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Bofur's confession.

_"You-?" Bilbo began._

_Bofur felt as though holding Bilbo's gaze in that moment was one of the bravest things he had ever done._

_"Aye."_

 

In order for Bofur to feel as adored as Kili and Thorin, he needed to love Bilbo as they did--completely. Bilbo's heart rapidly thumped against his chest. He had to hear it to truly believe it.

"You want...me?"

Bofur took a step forward, grasping Bilbo's other hand so that he was holding both of them.

"Aye."

Bilbo's breath hitched and his heart beat impossibly faster. "What do you want?"

Bofur quirked a small, embarrassed smile. He shyly glanced down, then up again to meet Bilbo's gaze. 

"Are you truly such a cruel creature?" he asked.  
Bilbo shook his head, eyes earnest and wide as he explained. "No! I'm not trying to be cruel, I just--look, I know this is not merely between us, I do, but if we did not have a situation where there were others to be included in these sorts of decisions, if it was only between you and me, please...I cannot explain why, but I need to know how this moment would go. Please. Tell me, Bo."  
Bofur raised Bilbo's hands and kissed each one. "I have loved you and wanted you for so long. If it could happen the way you are supposing, I would ask you to braid me, court me, and ultimately, share our bond. It is what I've always wanted, from our earliest days on the road together."

Bofur noticed Bilbo's hands were trembling.

"Oh...oh _Bo_ ," Bilbo whispered.

Their mouths came together. Bofur was not sure which one surged to meet whom, though the resulting breathless passion was both of theirs. After several long moments, Bofur broke their kiss. Although he well realized he might not love the answer, he could not bear merely guessing Bilbo's desires any longer. 

"And what of you?" he inquired softly, his palm still cradling Bilbo's face.  
"Me?"  
"I ask you the same question, likely for the same reason that I, too, can't seem to explain. Bee... _Bilbo_ , what would you want?"  
Gazing into Bofur's eyes, Bilbo replied, "If this had happened with different circumstance, I think I would seduce you this very moment--and I don't imagine I would stop until you begged me to."  
With a voice like velvet, Bofur asked, "What if I wouldn't beg you to stop? What if I wanted to finish inside you, make you mine?"  
"Then I would be the one begging: begging for you to come in me, to mark me, and not finishing myself until I was likewise buried in your arse."  
Bofur moaned. "Fuck, I've imagined so many times about what it would sound like for us to tease each other like bonded lovers, but it sounds so much better than my fantasies."

Bilbo rose up on his toes for more fevered kisses that seemed to go on and on. Eventually resting their foreheads together to pant for air, neither one wished to ruin their moment. However, there was only so far they could push this fantasy before reality had to be acknowledged.

"But we _do_ have a situation where others have to be considered," Bofur said.  
"We do," Bilbo agreed. "Knowing you've felt this way, have you discussed these wishes with Fili?"  
Bofur remembered the terse exchange he had had in bed with Fili. "Somewhat."  
"And?" Bilbo asked tentatively.  
"I think it would warrant serious group discussion at best...and you would have yours to add to it as well, of course."

For the time being, Bilbo chose to keep to himself that the subject had already been broached with Thorin and Kili--he didn't see the point in starting up a fresh round of angst.

"Yes," he replied.  
Bofur sighed wistfully. "Well, in that case, I don't suppose we'll be tearing off our clothes and making grand, passionate love this afternoon if we want to keep our husbands. Perhaps, though-"  
He rubbed his nose against Bilbo's before continuing.  
"-Maybe we could get naked and do the other lovely things we're allowed to do apart from making that grand, passionate love?"

Bilbo's enthusiastic answer wordlessly slipped between Bofur's lips. When mouths and tongues and questing hands were no longer enough, they shed their clothes right there in the sitting room.

In the daylight, Bofur noticed love bites on both sides of Bilbo's neck, as well as the red marks and finger bruises that were the hallmarks of rougher passions. He wondered how many were Fili's and not Kili's, his core roiling with envy for passionate grips he neither witnessed nor delivered. Squashing down the jealousy, he left a mark of his own. 

"It has been way too long since I've been with you alone," Bofur breathed. "I feel like I've not properly touched you in ages."  
Bilbo smiled, almost bashfully. "We were just in bed a couple days ago, Bo."  
"Not the two of us and no one else, though. Us four in bed--or three, as occasion calls--are blazingly erotic, no doubt, but there's something tender in being alone together, one on one. Fee and I were just having this discussion, matter of fact. We agreed that pairing off alone carries its own intimacy. It is...well, it is special, loving."  
"And you're feeling loving right now?" Bilbo flirted.  
Bofur poked him in his tickle spots. "After what I just confessed--and the stones it took to do it--you've got a lot of nerve asking me that!"

With Bilbo giggling, Bofur's tickles turned to lustful pawing at Bilbo's bum. He manipulated Bilbo backwards towards the settee, turning him around and urging him up on it. Pressing against Bilbo's back, Bofur kissed his way down Bilbo's spine to his crevice. Massaging the rounded flesh, he pulled his hands to each side to expose the dusky opening.

"Fuck, I love your arse," Bofur murmured. 

Though he knew it was going to happen when Bofur spread him, Bilbo still sucked in a surprised breath at the first slick swipe of tongue. His quickened breathing was joined by pleasured moans as Bofur ventured deeper. He held on to the back of the settee. The combination of the sensations rippling through him from Bofur's tongue and the view of his current surroundings made him feel scandalous. He was being licked in the _sitting room_. Even Kili hadn't done much more than grope or kiss him in that room, yet. 

Bofur's fingers twitched. He wanted to touch Bilbo more intimately, to feel that delicious thrum of heartbeat against his fingers, to have as much as they could allow themselves. He knew taking their encounter there could be dangerous, though, given Bilbo's proclivities. Kili wasn't there to finish what Bofur was about to start. 

Nevertheless, he asked, "May I...touch you? Inside?"

Though Bofur already had such allowances in the past--and in spite of what Bofur had already been doing with his mouth for the past several minutes--Bilbo found the request for permission sublimely erotic. 

"Please," he breathed.  
"Give me a few. Don't--don't go anywhere."

Bofur returned shortly with a bottle of slick and a towel. After protecting the furniture with the latter, Bofur encouraged Bilbo to straddle his lap. Their lips came together again, this time with Bilbo's warm and bare body sliding against him. Bofur looked up at Bilbo and was overcome by the emotion blooming in his chest.

"I've never stopped thinking about that first day I saw you and Kee, out in Beorn's garden," Bofur confessed. "He sat against the tree and you were in his lap, nearly just like this. Bless me, you lost in pleasure like that, naked and bedecked in flowers...it still remains one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen."

Bofur found the bottle and coated his digits, slipping his hand between Bilbo's legs.

He said, "I may not be able to have you fully, but I would love to at least have the view of you straddling some part of me, moaning and sighing for the sorts of pleasures I _am_ allowed to give you."

Licking his lips, Bilbo let his head fall back. 

"Yes," he breathed. "Oh, yes, Bo."

Bilbo felt Bofur massaging him, readying him, heightening his anticipation--it made him feel as though he was about to be penetrated with something far more significant. He exhaled a long, breathy moan, relaxing for Bofur as he pressed inside. 

"Aye, that's it," Bofur whispered. "Let me in."

Shivering, Bilbo imagined Bofur whispering those words with his cock nudging at him instead of his fingers. 

Bofur's eyes never left Bilbo's face. He meticulously studied each flicker of rapture as he stretched him, digit by digit.

Aloud, he pondered, "Hmm, two fingers or three? Is it the stretch you want today or would I be better served by dexterity?" 

Bofur removed the third finger, sliding back inside with just two, purposefully putting gentle pressure with the pads as he moved. Bilbo groaned with delight. 

"Ah, dexterity it is, then," Bofur said. 

Bilbo rocked a bit against him, giving Bofur a wicked idea. 

"Move where it feels good--aye, that's it. Ride it where you want it, let me see how it feels best," Bofur encouraged. "Show me how you like to be taken."

Bilbo undulated, full but too empty, once again yearning for more than the temporary pleasure of fingers. They had been right when their heads were cooler, of course, but knowing Bofur had been longing to make real some of the very fantasies Bilbo himself had been imagining made it difficult to keep control. He glanced down at Bofur's girth, tasting salt at the back of his tongue for how much his body wanted to feel it inside, how much he yearned to feel every spurt of Bofur's considerable orgasms fill him.

Bofur hungrily eyed Bilbo moving above him. They had said it wasn't time--they had mutually agreed and he _knew_ it was only for the best--but Bofur wanted Bilbo down to his very bones. If Bilbo would lose himself, if those sweet lips were to gasp an invitation now, Bofur was unsure he would be able to resist burying his cock deep inside him.

*****

Fili and Kili heard sounds of passion when they walked through the door, and it was only a few steps more before the source was visible. Bilbo faced them, in Bofur's lap, and they only saw the back of Bofur's head over the settee. Bilbo rose and fell, moaning as though nothing had ever felt so good. His eyes were closed in this lush revelry and he clearly had not yet noticed he and Bofur were no longer alone.

Ice flowed underneath Fili's skin. Bofur had gone and done it, then--he was making love to Bilbo. That was bad enough, and shocking even in spite of the clues, but Bilbo's participation gave Fili the biggest surprise. He had Kili and Thorin to consider, plus Fili thought Bilbo might have had more respect for their relationship even if Bofur had temporarily lost his head. 

Fili walked into the sitting room and around the settee to face Bofur, having to see the truth regardless of the heartache that would doubtlessly follow. He nearly swooned in relief. It was Bofur's _fingers_ Bilbo was riding and nothing more. A noise to the side drew his attention and Fili smirked as Kili shucked off his boots and pants, preparing to join in. However, Fili's amusement and relief were both short-lived as he recalled his last conversation with Bofur that morning. It dawned on Fili that Bofur might have intentionally passed on a very important outing with him specifically to wait for an opportunity to seduce Bilbo. A moment later, Bofur opened his eyes and noticed Fili's arrival for the first time. The stricken, guilty expression on his face told Fili everything he needed to know about Bofur's intentions. 

Kili pressed naked against Bilbo's back, nibbling his neck. Bilbo's eyes flew open in delighted surprise and he turned his head to accept a kiss. Neither of them noticed Fili quietly leave the room.

Bofur watched Fili walk around them, his footfalls fading as he left them alone to their debauchery. It was evident Fili did not find the scene as arousing as his brother; Bofur felt a distinct sinking in his stomach. As much as he didn't wish to stop now, he knew he should go after him. He eased his fingers out and Bilbo took the opportunity to shimmy off Bofur's lap. 

Once Bilbo's feet hit the floor, Kili grabbed him from behind. Kili glanced over Bofur's naked form, noting he was flushed, hard, wet, and primed to burst. He guessed Bofur had been so caught up in making Bilbo whine and squirm that he had been ignoring his own need. Kili grinned, recognizing the scenario quite well--from both sides. 

"Was my greedy jewel taking all the pleasure and making Bo wait for his?" Kili teased Bilbo. "Don't you think he's earned a little _provocation_?"

Bilbo's jaw dropped, readying to argue before realizing Kili had been right. From the moment Bofur had bent him over the furniture to lick him, Bilbo had done little else but selfishly accept all the joys Bofur bestowed upon him. Well, now, that would not do at all! He bent forward into Bofur's lap, holding onto his lover's prick with both hands and sloppily taking in the head, humming erotically as he tasted the considerable amount of arousal that had been dripping from him. 

The time spent teasing and touching Bilbo had made Bofur achingly stiff and wanting. Bilbo's mouth on his neglected prick took Bofur's breath away with a forceful gasp. Panting, he glanced up, attempting to form the words to excuse himself. In front of him, Kili slicked his cock, preparing to slip inside Bilbo's upturned arse--the arse Bofur had stretched for him. Though he desperately wanted to be a part of this filthy encounter, Bofur closed his eyes to summon his strength to move away. Bilbo's groan of ecstasy lured them open again, in time to see Kili sink in flush against Bilbo's bum. Less than a breath later, Bilbo swallowed Bofur in as deep as he could go. Bilbo sucked at him in matching rhythm to the snap of Kili's hips, shredding the rest of Bofur's resolve.

*****

Fili fumed after catching Bofur with Bilbo, stomping off for an indoor pipe to calm his nerves. Bilbo and Bofur had been alone together before, to be true, but Bofur had never passed on spending time with Fili merely to hang about, trying to get Bilbo alone. It only made the wound worse when Fili thought about why he wanted Bofur to go with him in the first place. He was blown off, only to come home and find them...find them...

They weren't making love, though it was close. He thunked down on Belladonna's glory box as he smoked, wondering what would have happened if he had not come home when he did. All this would explain Bofur's frustration lately, the desperation written all over his face, the pure desire. Regardless of Bofur's previous insistence, it was obvious to Fili now that Bofur was ready for a bond with Bilbo. Likely the only thing stopping him all along had been Bilbo himself, which would also explain the sour moods. 

Fili scarcely understood it. Bofur had been so patient with Fili when they had yet to consummate their courtship. He didn't thunder about, pining. Instead, he had said beautiful things like, "I've got you in my arms night after night. If that is all you ever give me, it will still be more than I ever dared hope."

Why had that been okay for Fili, but suddenly Bilbo's arms and kisses weren't enough? Nor was Bilbo's love enough, nor a tattoo and a piercing in Bofur's name on his body? If Bofur could have been content with Fili's love alone, why did he now require so much from Bilbo? Was it because Bofur loved Fili more, thrilled to have any part of him he could? Or was it because his love for Bilbo was so much greater, Bofur would accept nothing less than everything from him? 

If only there was a way, a way to see without being seen, to hear the things Bofur said to Bilbo when no one was around to hear. Indeed, why was Bofur so fascinated with having his own private time with Bilbo at all? Unless he was secretly trying to get up Bilbo's arse, there's nothing he should have to say that Fili or Kili couldn't be there for. 

Fili wondered what became of Bilbo's invisibility-granting ring.

*****

After their illicit session ended (with explosive orgasms for each of them), Bilbo, Kili, and Bofur hunted for their hastily discarded clothes.

Bilbo asked Kili, "Wait, did Fee not come home with you?"  
"He did," Kili answered, quite suddenly aware they had been missing their fourth for the duration.  
"Yet he did not join us?" Bilbo asked.  
Kili shrugged. "It seems he didn't."  
Bilbo furrowed and frowned.  
"Don't fret," Kili said, attempting to soothe him. "It was an odd morning for him. Perhaps he wasn't feeling amorous."  
"I suppose that could be so, as unlikely as it would seem with the three of you," Bilbo said, swatting Kili playfully on the behind.

Though he smiled at Bilbo's teasing, Kili began to feel the weight of guilt. Fili had the option, had been _right there_ , but had apparently chosen not to join them. Kili had shamefully not noticed Fili's absence at the time, having thought solely with his cock. Now that it was done, Kili thought he--or at the very least, Bofur--should have first gone to make sure Fili was not upset about what he came home to, especially after his jealousy as of late. He glanced over at Bofur, who was chewing his thumb nervously and very likely trying to figure out how to explain his own lapse of judgement. 

While Bilbo went to the kitchen and Bofur stayed lost in his thoughts, Kili cleaned up the rest of the evidence from their encounter. From nowhere, Kili felt an inexplicable, visceral urge to find Fili _right that second_ , as though his life depended on it. Rushing down the hall, a sound drew him toward the smoking room and he flung open the door. Fili was on his knees in front of Belladonna's glory box, and the surprise made him drop the lid--very nearly on his own hand.

"Fee! What...what were you doing?"  
"I was, I was, um," Fili stammered. "I'm not quite sure, exactly."  
"How are you not sure?"  
"I-I thought it might be interesting to see what Bilbo kept stashed away in here, but you scared me out of my wits before I even got the lid fully extended. I almost broke my fingers!"  
"Well, if Bee thought you were rooting around in his mother's keepsake chest, he'd probably do you the courtesy of smashing them himself. Really, Fee, what has gotten into you? You're as pale as a Mirkwood elf!"

The strange, inky haze in Fili's mind abated with the adrenaline of getting caught doing something he shouldn't be doing, though the deeper, jealous churning remained. He stood up. 

"I don't feel quite like myself right now," Fili admitted.  
"Is it because of Bo?"  
Fili shrugged. "Maybe."  
"Look, I should have come to see about you as soon as I noticed you were gone. I was selfish."  
"I didn't expect _you_ to come after me," Fili said pointedly.  
Shaking his head, Kili replied, "Well, knowing what I know, I should have sent Bo to see about you instead of goading him to play. I'm sorry."  
"Sent Bo after me and, what? Wave a giant flag to Bee that there is a problem? Make him think he is causing all the trouble and likely ruining everything for everybody by making him self-conscious?"  
"Isn't he causing some of the trouble, though?" Kili asked, confused. "Didn't you say yesterday's explicit game was in part because you were jealous and mad?"  
"No. Yes. No. I mean, yes I was mad, but it isn't _Bee_ who is acting oddly. This is about Bo. Bo is the one who is rattling the roof, here. He's the one who should have come to see about me. Making Bee feel bad is not going to change Bo's behavior."  
"Fee, you know you are always welcome to unburden your heart with me as much as you need to, including now, so please take this as it is intended: Why are you telling _me_ , then?"  
Fili sucked in his cheeks and nodded. "You're right. I know you're right. Talking to you won't make things right with Bo. I'm just...I'm not ready. I still have to figure out what to say, and what questions are the right ones to ask to get the answers I need."  
"C'mon. A little dinner will do you good. I won't tell Bee you were snooping."  
"Thank you. I...I don't even know quite what I was looking for, now that I think about it," Fili said. 

It was the truth. Over the past several moments, Fili could only recall the vaguest memory of kneeling on the floor to begin with.


	24. Hurts And Vexations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili tries to use his words, but his emotions get the best of him. The voice in his head has a new plan, though.

Bofur sat, paralyzed with his uncertainty. He did not know what to say to Fili. For Fili not to stay and get naked with them, something must have been bothering him. There was also that look on Fili's face when he left--it was not one Bofur recognized, though he knew it wasn't a good expression, to say the least. Surely it wasn't because he was indulging with Bilbo, not after Fili had so passionately made the case the day before that it shouldn't matter that they played sometimes without each other. While he thoroughly expected to be in some manner of trouble for staying to play instead of following his moody Fili, Bofur was damned if he could figure out exactly why Fili had gone off angry to start with.

The brothers came down the hall before Bofur had a chance to go find Fili himself. Bofur immediately rose out of his seat, taken aback at Fili's lack of color. 

"I'm going to help Bee with the food," Kili said, subtly excusing himself.

Bofur walked up to Fili, gently smoothing his knuckles along his cheek. "You didn't join us for the fun, and you look terribly pale to boot. Are you unwell?"

Fili did not recoil from the touch, hating himself a little for how grateful he was for the tenderness even while he was furious. 

"I did not think my absence was noted," Fili said, clipped.  
Bofur placed the other hand on Fili's face. "How can you say that? Why didn't you stay?"  
Now Fili did step away. "Why didn't you follow?"

Bilbo came in--apron in hand--with Kili but steps behind, the latter having realized too late Bilbo would be quite unaware that he might be intruding on a conversation long overdue. 

"Bo, I was wondering if you could help..." Bilbo trailed off. "Oh, Fee! There you are! I had been wondering where you had gone off to!"

Kili stood in the doorway, not sure what to do or say to coax Bilbo back into the kitchen without being obvious.

Bilbo glanced between Fili and Bofur. "I was going to see if I could press-gang Bo into potato preparation, but if I'm interrupting-"  
"-Not at all," Fili said, neither in the mood nor mentally ready to have the fight that was about to commence. "He can peel while I work us up something for dessert."  
Eyeing Fili, Bilbo said, "No need--we've got one of the Cottons' famous chocolate cakes tonight. Besides, you don't look like you feel quite right. Perhaps you'd be better off having a sit."

Fili started to protest but Bilbo was already fussing over him, feeling his forehead and the back of his neck to check for clamminess or fever.

"I hope you haven't gotten a chill, running all over the Shire with your brother today with that horrid wind whipping about," worried Bilbo.  
"You know we don't get sick the same as you, Bee," Kili said, tugging at Bilbo's shirt. "Leave him be."  
"All the same, if you want to relax a bit, we can make dinner happen without you," Bilbo said.

Fili did not especially wish to be alone so soon after the puzzling spell he had just experienced.

"No," he said. "I am not coming down with anything and I'm perfectly fine to help. It is a shame I hadn't thought to put out dough to rise earlier today. It would never be done in time if I did it now."  
"Oh! But there's that sauce you make," Kili added. "That would go quite well..."

The three of them discussed food plans on their way into the kitchen with Bofur following behind, silently thankful for Bilbo's intervention--even if it meant peeling potatoes. It bought him more time to think.

*****

Bofur kept a surreptitious eye on Fili throughout the evening. Judging from the snatch of private conversation they had managed to have, Fili was (as Bofur expected) quite cross Bofur did not chase after him when he left them, but he still did not know what had been bothering Fili in the first place. Fili remained subdued throughout the preparation and consumption of dinner, not obviously ignoring Bofur but not making efforts to engage him, either. Bofur held but small hope that the storm had truly passed, fearing the civility was merely an act for their housemates' comfort.

While Bofur felt the worry and wariness regarding his Fili, the evening was peppered with sweet moments, too. Each time Bilbo met his eye, Bofur recalled the tingling, joyful warmth of their mutual confessions earlier that afternoon.

*****

Bilbo sent Bofur into the sitting room to stoke the fire as the three of them cleaned up dinner. While Kili began to wash, Bilbo nudged up against Fili and spoke quietly.

"We surely missed you this afternoon," he said. 

He pressed up on his toes to place a small kiss to that favored spot under Fili's ear, one that would leave no question as to which part of the afternoon he was referring. 

"No explanation needed, nor pressure if you merely did not feel like it," Bilbo continued tenderly. "Simply know you had been welcome, and that I am looking forward to the next occasion."

Though he was stunned, Fili recovered quickly enough to find his voice.

"Thank you," he replied, brushing his lips across Bilbo's cheek. 

Grabbing up the last pile of dishes, Bilbo winked at Fili and carried the plates off for washing. 

Bilbo's small gesture of letting Fili know he was both welcome as well as missed was a surprising comfort. Fili would not have guessed it would soothe his wounded heart as much as it had, nor would he have guessed it to have come from Bilbo. He glanced towards the kitchen with confused wonder.

*****

Fili avoided bed that evening as long as possible, killing time playing his fiddle with Kili. For his part, Bofur did not appear to be in a hurry to press for bed early himself. Finally, it was Kili and Bilbo who suggested the extended song session finally end so the household could sleep.

Kili truly wanted Bilbo to himself that night, but he also wanted to give Fili space and time alone to speak with Bofur without him having to be the one to request it.

Taking the opportunity to tease Bilbo with the title that always made him flush with pleasure, Kili asked, "You don't mind if I have a night alone with my Prince Bilbo of Erebor, do you?"

Fili shook his head, relieved, as he had not the heart that night for group endeavors

"Indeed, going off to bed alone with our handsome princes is far from the worst thing that could happen on a chilly night like this," Bofur replied blithely, hoping he sounded happy enough to assuage Fili. 

Normally, Fili would grin at Bofur's compliment, but Bofur's unduly cheerful tone rankled him. The annoyance was tempered by a gentle, lingering kiss goodnight from Bilbo. He also received a tender forehead touch from Kili. Kili seemed to innately understand tonight Fili needed him much more as a brother, and Fili was especially grateful.

*****

Bofur considered the revelation with Bilbo that afternoon. Since then, he had been so worried about Fili that he hadn't allowed himself time to luxuriate in this newfound comfort of _knowing_ Bilbo adored him. Bilbo had given Bofur a lovely kiss goodnight but even then, he could not let himself be overcome. Finally now, getting ready for bed alone, Bofur allowed himself a few precious moments to dwell on his development with Bilbo. Sighing happily, he felt the old heaviness of uncertainty lift and float away.

He could not stay caught up for long, though, because he still did not have time for it, not quite, not when he had yet to figure out what had upset Fili. After that, he needed to finally confess to Fili that his desire for Bilbo had gone beyond _sometimes_ \--and to discuss what Bofur hoped it could mean.

Having done his own bedtime preparations separately, Fili joined him in their room. Gone was the relatively placid demeanor he had throughout the evening. In its place, Fili wore a frown. He faced away from Bofur as he unromantically stripped down for bed, climbed in, and blew out his candle. The tension between them was all but tangible and Bofur loathed it. Not only did he hate it when they were doing anything but adoring each other, it would also prove difficult to have a productive and serious discussion about their future if Fili was starting it already furious. 

_First things first_ , Bofur sighed to himself. 

"You've been quiet tonight," Bofur said softly.  
"Surprised you noticed."  
Bofur placed a loving hand on Fili's bare shoulder and spoke tenderly. "'Course I noticed. How about you tell me what had you so riled when you and Kee got back, hm?"

Once again, Fili hated himself for wanting that touch. _Stay angry_ , he reminded himself. 

"Oh, you care now?" Fili said. "You didn't seem to care when you were too busy naked and moaning to realize I left the room."  
"You're right. You're completely right. I should have jumped up and went after you when you left the room so abruptly. I was going to, I was, but...I, I--blast, I don't have an acceptable excuse, Fee. I just don't. After I, um...well, _after_ , I felt like a right arse and then I thought it was too late. I thought the damage was done."  
Fili laughed, a sinister, agreeing laugh that sounded anything but merry. "The damage was done well before that."

 _Well, at least we're getting somewhere_ , Bofur thought grimly.

Fili rolled over to face him, Bofur's face dim with the light of only their hearth.

"So that was why you stayed home today?" Fili asked, his tone accusing. "To wait for Bilbo? To seduce him?"  
"How do you know he didn't seduce me?" Bofur replied, attempting to be cute in order to calm Fili down.  
Fili was not having it. "Just, don't. That's not the part I'm trying to address right now. Is that why, when I asked you to go out with me, you declined and stayed home?"  
"Fee, please," Bofur said earnestly, "I didn't think it mattered if I stayed home!"  
"It mattered because I asked you to go with me!" Fili countered.  
"If it was that important, you should have asked me...I don't know, asked me harder!"  
"I shouldn't have had to," Fili grumbled.  
Bofur scrubbed a hand over his face. "You're not making sense."  
Fili rolled over on his side, his back again to Bofur. "And you're keeping me awake."  
"I want to talk about this," Bofur pleaded. "You're obviously angry."  
"You know why."  
Bofur made a frustrated noise. "No, I don't!"  
"Sleep on it and see if you can figure it out," Fili spat.

Bofur hated Fili being this upset, particularly with him as the cause. Fili seemed to be the only one who knew why he was angry, and he was shutting Bofur out.

Touching Fili's shoulder again, Bofur fruitlessly peered over to try and see his face in the near-dark. "I don't want to go to sleep with you this upset."

Fili said nothing.

Bofur desperately willed himself to understand, but he couldn't understand the riddle. He tried to smooth over it--if only a little--in an attempt to reassure Fili that he _wanted_ to understand. He wanted to show him he still loved him...and perhaps reassure himself that Fili still loved him back.

"Can I please just have a kiss? For sweeter dreams?" Bofur gently asked.

Fili still had no reply. Tears pricked hot behind his eyelids when he felt the soft brush of Bofur's lips and beard against his shoulder before his lover gave up and retreated to his side of the bed for the night. Fili almost rolled over, almost gave into the sweetness, but then he recalled how happy he had been to get the message from Hamfast this morning. His heart broke all over again.

*****

Bofur had gone from looking for a way to share his revelation about Bilbo to attempting to calm down (or at least understand) an already irate Fili. He couldn't begin to broach his own subject tonight, not while Fili was already not speaking to him for something he didn't comprehend.

Bofur replayed things in his mind, breaking it down to try and figure out where he veered horribly off Fili's preferred course. Fili had asked him to go on errands and he said no. He was obviously supposed to have said yes, but if Fili wanted a yes so badly, then why didn't he say so? Why did he not press? Why give him a choice at all? Why not say, "Bo, we're going places today?" None of that had happened, so Bofur had stayed home. That seemed to be the main thing that had set him off, though Fili also snapped at him about seducing Bilbo. So he _was_ mad Bofur and Bilbo got naked without him? That didn't make much sense after Fili's arguments yesterday that seemed to the contrary, and less sense still considering Fili could have joined them but didn't... 

Right about then, fully without his mind's permission, Bofur's body had had enough of nights spent pondering and days run on little to no sleep. Bofur's thought wagon abruptly unhitched and he fell straight asleep.

*****

Fili remained awake. Although the unwelcome whispers in his ears and the inky, confusing blight of earlier stayed gone, Fili clutched his pillow still not feeling like himself. His brainwork was bitter and kept him from sleep. Bofur's conscience only seemed to have plagued him as long as it took him to get comfortable--as he was now slumbering deeply--and that only served to exacerbate Fili all the more.

As he stewed and held the pillow that was standing in for his lover, a thought disconnected from Fili's own familiar reasoning arose in his mind. 

_You need to get back at him. Perhaps Bofur isn't so special as to be the only one Bilbo will sneak off to tryst with. What if someone else made Bilbo moan and come without giving Bofur the invitation? What if he discovered Bilbo with you? Then he should not sleep so well, or worry so little._

Fili didn't know where the idea sprang from, but he liked it. He recalled something Bofur had said in a recent argument:

_"Bilbo is just a bit of frolic for you, and you for him. It isn't like it is with Thorin, or Kee, or even me, where there are more tender feelings that sometimes require privacy. There's not the same reason for you want to take Bilbo off alone, nor is there anything enduring between you to compel him to follow you for such intimate liaisons."_

Oh yes. 

The shadowy part of his mind that had been steady dwelling on these hurts and vexations liked the idea a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw shit, son.


	25. Unexpected

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The voice inside Fili's head is still leading Fili contrary to his true conscience. Someone unexpected helps to start putting Fili back in touch with himself...but not before complications reach their zenith.

Bilbo had planned to talk to Kili when they went to bed. He felt obligated (at the very least of it) to share Bofur's pulse-quickening revelation. Bilbo had also been wondering that evening about Fili and hoped he was well; perhaps he could find out whatever Fili might have confided in his brother. However, neither of these things came to pass that evening. Kili was on Bilbo as soon as they had undressed, whispering in his ear how desperate he was to be taken by his husband. Bilbo fulfilled his request quite vigorously and, well sated, both of them fell asleep before the other subjects were broached.

*****

Bofur softly stirred Fili awake to tell him breakfast was ready. He risked a kiss to Fili's forehead and lingered in the room with him for a moment, hoping Fili might wish to have the conversation that had sputtered and faded the night before, but Fili did not have anything to say. Indeed, he would barely meet Bofur's eye.

Bofur's natural inclination was to talk, question, joke, or otherwise press the issue so they could get past this unpleasantness already and go back to being them, but last night his attempts had only jerked an unruly knot in the whole thing. As much as he hated it, he chose to give Fili his space today, to not crowd or smother him, and then try to reach him again at bedtime.

*****

Fili fought the urge to let himself be moved by Bofur's soft lips and even softer voice that morning, not after yesterday and the frustrating fight that followed. He spoke little and looked at Bofur even less, deciding it would be easier on his heart to avoid getting drawn into those warm, soulful eyes...only to be faced with how much brighter they sparkled for another. This time, Bofur did not press for Fili's attention, making it all the worse. The Bofur that Fili knew would have tried a little harder for the one he loved.

The resulting confusion and hurt only strengthened Fili's resolve to follow last night's mysterious contrivance.

*****

Upon waking, Bilbo decided to put off discussing Bofur with Kili until later. Disclosing Bofur's intimate and heretofore secret feelings somehow did not seem a conversation well-suited to the harsh light of an early day. If it wasn't too terribly cold after that night's dinner, he thought he might take Kili on one of their romantic walks under the stars to divulge this new development instead. For his own part, Bilbo wanted to privately savor yesterday's precious confessions (and the events that followed) just a little longer before he shared them with the others.

As for the prior day's concern about Fili, Bilbo decided he would not pry unless the dwarf's reserved mood continued. Everyone was entitled to want quiet days for themselves, after all, and those were difficult to come by with multiple boisterous (and lustful) housemates. Even heroic patience like Fili's was likely to eventually wear thin with them all from time to time.

Bilbo decided a larger, seasonal project would keep him out of the way of the others for a few hours and give him a chance to spend some quiet time in his own mind while still getting something important done.

*****

Fili skipped his pipe. His last smokes had made him a little queasy, anyhow, and yesterday's perplexing haze combined with those odd imaginings and moments of lost memory led him to wonder if something had been off with the leaf. He thought it best to err on the side of caution. He wanted his head clear for his plans today, and he wanted to be fully present to enjoy what was about to transpire in Bilbo's bed...

...or what he hoped would transpire. Bofur had indicated he did not think Bilbo would follow Fili for a private liaison and now that he thought about it, Fili wasn't entirely sure Bofur's reasoning was wrong. Still, he forced himself to shake off his insecurity. After all, Bilbo enjoyed it when Fili joined their games--explicitly _said so_ , thank you very much--and besides, a hobbit's natural curiosity might yet compel him to follow, even if he didn't feel a romantic pull.

Assessing the whereabouts of his housemates, Fili quickly surmised that Kili was mixing pie crust, Bofur was gathering supplies for a long sit at the writing desk, and Bilbo had sequestered himself down the hall, likely working on some chore or other. The timing could hardly be any better for what he planned to do.

Once Bofur was seated, Fili stole into the kitchen and whispered into Kili's ear. Kili grinned and whispered a reply. Back and forth they had a quick, quiet discussion about Fili's wish to get Bilbo alone. Perhaps Kili's permission wasn't needed, given their arrangement, but Fili felt better about letting Kili in on at least some of his plan...even if he wasn't sharing all his reasons for _why_.

"How will I know it is time for us to join you?" Kili asked at the end.  
Fili fixed Kili with an impish look. "I should think the invitation will be quite clear."

*****

Kili fondly watched his brother leave. Judging from Fili's spirits, the private time with Bofur last night had been just what they had needed. Not only was Fili happy, he was ready to play--and quite saucily, from the sound of it. This pleased Kili for several reasons. He had plans for Fili the next time the opportunity presented itself, and that opportunity did not seem as far away as it had last night.

*****

As he expected, Fili found Bilbo working on a task--specifically, in the room he kept for his clothes.

"Bee, I-" Fili paused abruptly.

Bilbo stood amid a pile of velvet and brocade, his hair mussed with effort and his flushed face focused in pure concentration.

Laughing, Fili asked, "What in Durin's name are you doing?"  
"Wardrobe rotation," Bilbo replied matter-of-factly, his hands on his hips. "Winter is upon us and things must move. Warmer things come out, lighter things are put away, and everything must be looked after so as not to grow musty or mothy."

Fili had never heard of something so ridiculous, but Bilbo's expression was as serious as could be. Fili looked at him for long moments with an affectionate, incredulous smile on his face.

"Is there something I can do for you?" Bilbo asked.

The question shook Fili of his fond distraction and reminded him of why he sought Bilbo. Fili walked up to him--close enough to touch--and tucked a wild wave into place.

"Yes," he replied, his voice smooth and sensuous. "I believe there is."

*****

Bofur had letters to write and was out of time to write them. Bilbo and Rorimac had both grown impatient to send their letters out to their beloveds, the former letting Bofur know in no uncertain terms that any missives not completed by lunch would be missives left undelivered. Bofur wanted to write Bifur and Bombur, of course, but first there was a very particular thank you note he needed to write. He sat for several moments, not sure where to begin or what to say. Finally, he dipped his quill and began.

" _To the Benevolent and Generous Lord Elrond,"_

*****

Laying Bilbo naked on the bed in the master bedroom, Fili marveled at how he needn't have worried over Bilbo's interest at all. The answering bright sparkle in Bilbo's eyes and the amazed, open-mouthed smile were more than Fili had expected. He didn't even have to ask twice. One might not be blamed for thinking that perhaps Bilbo had been _wanting_ a chance to sneak off with him, as unlikely as it seemed.

Bilbo willingly allowed himself to be guided. Gone was Fili's quietness from the day before. He appeared to be back to himself-- vibrant, virile, and deliciously focused on Bilbo.

Fili draped his body across Bilbo's, scooping his arms under Bilbo's shoulders so he could hold him and still be able to cradle his head. Bilbo sighed happily and wrapped his arms around Fili's shoulders in turn, twining strands of hair around his fingers.

Noted Fili, "I've never been with you alone."  
"I'll admit to fantasizing about this since you cornered me that day in my room, giving me your express permission to taste and be tasted. Did you plan to find me there again, or was that merely serendipitous circumstance?"  
"I confess I hadn't planned to replay the past, though now that you mention it, it does seem rather fitting."  
"You left me with a stiff prick and a racing pulse that day," Bilbo mockingly accused him.  
"Bo would have had my guts if I had finished what I started before he had the chance himself, but I'll confess it took a lot of will to push away from you."  
"Well, now we have the opportunity to make amends. Let me start by doing the first thing I desperately wanted you to do to me that day."

Bilbo tugged Fili down into a needful kiss. As they separated for breath, Fili caressed Bilbo's hair and forehead, gazing into his eyes. He rubbed his nose against Bilbo's.

"What's it like, Bee? Having so many lovers?"  
Bilbo grinned up at Fili. "You would know as well as I do."  
"Me?" Fili replied, incredulous.  
"You have Bo, Kee, and me. Wouldn't you say that's enough to know?"

Fili had stopped to ponder this answer when a surprisingly-strong Bilbo rolled them over, switching their places so he was on top. He pressed a kiss to Fili's lips but did not stay long. He seductively mouthed his way down Fili's neck, taking extra time at his chest to appreciate the jewelry.

"I've been meaning to ask you, is this new one for me?" Bilbo said, circling the flesh around Fili's latest nipple piercing.  
Breath stuttering, Fili replied, "And if I said you shared its significance, much like I once shared the ring through yours?"  
"Then I would say that suited me rather well," answered Bilbo, moving on to the other nipple and closing his mouth around it.

Repressing a grunt, Fili sharply exhaled his pleasure. He had originally gotten the new ring for Bofur, of course, but he was happy to say it was for both of them to keep those lips on his body. Bilbo's stomach brushed the sensitive skin of Fili's erection and he shivered, musing that perhaps he might seek out someone to put a ring in his ear, like Bilbo had done for him. Salaciously, he wondered how Bilbo might reward him then.

As Bilbo worked his way down his torso, Fili quipped, "You know, I've been rethinking all those times I groused about wanting my own room."  
Bilbo sputtered a laugh against Fili's skin. Joking back, he said, "It _is_ good to have our own spaces--if every afternoon was like the last one you spent with Kili and myself, I'd have considerably more trouble sitting down for my meals...more than I already do. I must say, however, I would go many a day with a sore bum in exchange for such illicit pleasures with all of you. Merely remembering it still gives me lovely shivers."  
Fili's worry over his misconduct that day flared anew. "You're still thinking about the other day? Pleasantly, even?"  
"Far more than pleasantly, Fee. The way you handled me, the filthy scenario you wove! I must admit, I found it compelling. I found _you_ compelling, even moreso than I had before."  
"But I was, I mean that was-" Fili stammered.  
"-Thrilling, erotic, forbidden, and, in the end, quite sticky. You seem to still be ashamed of your behavior for some reason, but I found it delightful. Why didn't you?"

Fili felt Bilbo's tongue run up the length of his cock. As Bilbo's words sank in and the first ripples of bliss tingled through him, Fili recalled the encounter untainted by guilt for the first time. It _had_ been thrilling, hadn't it?

Truthfully, he confessed, "I did find it delightful, and you were compelling to me, also."

Bilbo was still amazed that Fili had approached him for private bedplay at all, particularly given that Bofur had made it clear how he and Fili thought it was a special and loving thing to do. Fili's irresistibly drawled invitation had filled Bilbo with tender surprise, smouldering lust, and a flood of joyful warmth. Bilbo had not realized Fili looked upon him this way, though it was a welcome revelation. This new admission only served to stir his curiosity more. The past several minutes had already been quite a delight for Bilbo...and they had not yet truly gotten down to business, as it were. He suppressed a happy giggle--what a week he had been having!

While Bilbo teasingly kissed and licked Fili's prick, he thought Fili to be oddly quiet. To provoke a bigger reaction, Bilbo took Fili full in his mouth in a deft swoop. Fili sucked in a deep breath and choked on a cry, covering his mouth and obviously working to repress the moans Bilbo craved. 

"Why not let me hear you?" asked Bilbo.  
"Loud sounds would bring us company," Fili explained, "and quite frankly, I do not wish to share you yet."

Bilbo felt a fond flutter in his middle, quite sure he was blushing anew. Oh, he was going to make Fili feel _superb_. He climbed up the length of Fili's body and gave him another soulful kiss.

Conspiratorially, he murmured, "I would not have presumed before today to lead you to bed alone, but I confess I'm glad for this opportunity."  
"Opportunity to what?"  
"To give you some special attention all of your own."

Bilbo kissed Fili's nose and scooted over to the dish of oil. Holding his hand just above the bowl, he met Fili's eyes again. 

"With your leave," he said. 

Momentarily breathless, Fili nodded. "At your service."  
"So you once said. Several times, in fact."  
"And I'll say it several times more," murmured Fili, watching keenly as Bilbo liberally coated his fingers and returned to his spot between Fili's legs.

"I'm glad you insisted on putting down this towel first," Bilbo said.  
"Well, I have learned a thing or two about you since I've moved in-- _oh!_ "

Bilbo smoothed over Fili's entrance, aiming to tantalize the sensitive skin there. He wrapped his lips around the crown of Fili's cock, slowly slipping his digit inside him at the same speed he swallowed him down. When Fili's breath began to come in impatient puffs, Bilbo was ready to truly begin. 

Fili lost track of how long Bilbo bad been stimulating him from the inside out while he sucked at him, though he silently commended the dauntless endurance of the hobbit's jaw, tongue, and arms as he repeatedly drew him to the brink of ecstasy. Each time Fili was nearly there, Bilbo would replace suction with soft kisses and still his hand until the urgency ebbed...only to start it all again. These drawn-out teases were fluid, with peaks gracefully subsiding and building just as seamlessly. Fili did not know how Bilbo was doing it. He struggled to keep silent--he did not want an interruption of their privacy until Bilbo had finished delighting him over and over! He had experienced tastes of Bilbo as his lover before, of course, but being the singular focus of his talents was something else entirely. Devotedly, Bilbo hummed as though the bliss was his, generous with worshipful kisses and murmured compliments during the moments Fili floated back down from the heights of near-ecstasy. As another wave of pleasure rippled through Fili's body, he understood more than ever the physical pull Bilbo had on Thorin, Kili, and his own Bofur.

Bilbo undulated against the bed, seeking any sort of friction that could alleviate this _need_. Fili--Fili!--under him, around him, feeling this way against his hands and tongue, _sounding_ this way as he struggled to contain his voice...the effort it took to reign himself in was considerable.

Just over his sandy hair, Fili could see Bilbo's pert bottom rising and falling as his lover sought stimulation of his own.

"Don't come," Fili gasped. "I've plans for you."

Pulling his mouth away to speak, Bilbo slowed his fingers to wind Fili down gently.

"I could, you know," said Bilbo throatily. "With you like this, I could quite easily spill on the bed simply from the thrill of you."

Fili closed his eyes, reveling in the compliment. He exhaled long and slow as Bilbo (yet again) expertly drew him back from his peak.

"Are you ready?" asked Bilbo. "I'll bet you want to come on my face, don't you?"  
A lascivious, affirmative groan was Fili's reply.  
Bilbo hummed, amused. "That's our Fee. Another time, though, I'm afraid. I want to feel you come inside me--I desperately need to taste you."

Fili's hips rose up and Bilbo took him in again. Instead of rushing Fili to his finish, Bilbo went gradually, deliberately and masterfully guiding him to his final ascent. Fili had to cover his mouth with both hands, tensing all his muscles in an attempt to contain the noises threatening to escape him. He could only grunt and whimper while Bilbo raised him to the very pinnacle of his rapture.

The heat and tension spiking in Fili's body told Bilbo he was close, and he felt the spasm around his hand a breath before he actually tasted it in his mouth. Oh, how beautifully Fili shuddered and writhed! Carrying him through to the end, Bilbo stilled his hand until Fili's frantic gasping for air slowed to more steady (if rapid) breaths. Easing out, Bilbo sat back on his knees in between Fili's legs, comfortingly rubbing his thighs as the rush abated.

Looking up at Bilbo, Fili saw a wonderful symphony of contradictions: His skin was flushed--from effort, want, or shyness, Fili didn't know...likely all three. His face bore a loving and soft expression--all except for the eyes, which were dark with carnal hunger. The hands on Fili's skin felt gentle, yet Bilbo's cock was hard, straining, wet, and nearly purple with pent-up need.

"You fascinate me, Bee," Fili breathed in confession. "I went from wondering what was so special about you all those months ago to having cravings of my own, and I can only imagine they will increase from this point onward. Your mouth on me, your fingers inside of me...this has been nothing short of miraculous."  
Bilbo shook his head and smiled shyly, waving off the praise. "Please."  
"Gods!" Fili cried, springing up to his knees and tumbling Bilbo backward, their heads now at the foot of the bed. He said, "The way you can be so wild and then suddenly turn so bashful is enough to make me stiff, even after I've spent so hard! I mean it when I say I've never felt anything like what you just did to me."

Fili gazed into Bilbo's eyes for a moment, then fell on him, fiercely claiming his mouth. Strange feelings coursed through Fili's body. All this time, he had not been in love with Bilbo. Out of bed, Fili had of course adored him, respected him, loved him like kin, and sometimes considered Bilbo the older brother he had never had. Since they had become bedmates, as he had just admitted to Bilbo, his sexual captivation with him had steadily grown. Today it all seemed to bloom--he could feel it down to his core. It wasn't a Bofur kind of love, but it was something so good, so obscenely sweet, so rapturous, it was almost enough to chase away the bitter spectres that had been haunting his mind for days. Almost.

"What do you want me to do to you?" Fili whispered.

Bilbo's prick twitched and he gasped involuntarily.

"Whatever you want," he exhaled.  
Fili shook his head. "I've had mine, most gloriously, and now it is your turn. Tell me, please," he paused, licking his lips. "What do _you_ want?"  
Feeling his face flush, Bilbo squirmed. "I think I should like, should like-"  
"-Should like? Come now, it is not like you to be at a loss for words."  
"I should like to feel you touch me inside again."

Fili had rather hoped that would be Bilbo's request. He leaned far back, swirling a finger in the oil dish as he spoke.

"You know, we wouldn't have this pleasure if not for you," he said sincerely. "It has changed our lives, our loves--revolutionized the very way we approach relationships and sex."  
"I didn't invent it, thank you very much," demurred Bilbo.  
"I suppose you were the first hobbit I've ever heard of with a propensity for dwarrows to teach us such things."  
"I'm surprised it was not a known practice already. Hobbits are hardly the only ones to have figured it out. I daresay, if rumors I heard in Rivendell were anything to go by, Nori will be getting a little revolution of his own if he decides Nîfon is his Chosen."

Fili responded by humming a wicked giggle. He dipped one hand fully in the oil dish, cupping some out. Bilbo had already spread his legs, making it easy to return to him. Fili made a show of coating the index and middle fingers of his other hand. Once done, he held out the first and let the oil run out, drizzling it over the length of Bilbo's erection. He reached out to stroke it, but Bilbo firmly stayed his wrist with an impressive quickness. 

"Only do that if you are ready to finish me this very moment," warned Bilbo.

Fili regarded him. After the insecurity he had felt these past few days, Fili felt nearly drunk on Bilbo laid out before him, flushed and quivering with undiluted, unmistakable desire. With a renewed confidence, Fili reached between Bilbo's legs with the opposite hand, breaching him with one of his prepared fingers. He kept the slick hand away from flesh (and blanket), saving it for the end. 

Taking his cues from Fili, Bilbo's moans were also constrained. As Fili showed off more of his manual skills, Bilbo had to resort to fully muffling himself with his hands. Bilbo mused that he was no stranger to thick dwarf fingers inside him, having had no fewer than four different dwarrows touch him like this. His Baggins side warmed with shame at such a thought, though it did not slow the spike in his arousal. He could not help how much he loved to be wicked. Even so, and though Fili had touched him like this before, this time was different. Fili held his gaze and they shared the intimacy of Bilbo's vulnerability.

When Bilbo's eyes fluttered shut again, Fili drank in the sight of him. Bilbo's muscles rippled as he squirmed, his chest rising and falling with erratic breath. Watching him receive pleasure like this reminded him of Bilbo tied up, wriggling and moaning as Fili had tugged him off. 

Glancing down, Bilbo could see the oil glistening on his cock, lazily dripping onto the skin below. It was joined by another type of droplet altogether as Bilbo's neglected cock throbbed in anticipation of the inevitable. His eyes flicked to Fili who had been gazing at him indecently, yet reverently.

Softly, Fili said, "Funny, isn't it, that it has only been since last winter that I've known of play like this? I had never considered myself to be a stranger to fleshly diversion, but I had no idea the thrills I had simply been sitting on all these years."  
"Fee, that's a terrible pun," Bilbo giggled, though it turned to a thrillful sigh as Fili gently stroked him inside.  
"I wouldn't have done it much even if I had known. This is too intense to go about putting it around like that." Fili's smile faded and he spoke meaningfully, "I-I wouldn't do it to merely anyone, let alone allow it be done to me."  
Understanding, Bilbo licked his lips. "Neither would I," he breathed.  
"All the more lucky I am that you chose to share your knowledge with me."

A distinct lightness in Bilbo's head and increased palpitations in his chest joined the enticing sensations swirling through him from Fili's ministrations. 

"Am I a good pupil?" murmured Fili.  
Bilbo's breath hitched. "Outstanding," he whispered back.

"It is kind of you to say so but after what you just did to me, there appear to be gaps in my knowledge. Perhaps I could benefit from a more proper education directly from the source. What do you think, Bee?" Fili's voice deepened into dark honey. "Will you teach me?"

Bilbo recalled a similar request--could still hear it in his ear as though it had just happened--from Fili's brother in their Laketown room. 

Fili curiously noted a marked softening of Bilbo's expression, followed by a full body shudder as he touched him just so. Without another word between them, he knew Bilbo was ready--and Fili was more than ready to bring him there.

Fili closed the slickest hand around Bilbo's prick. Bilbo arched off the bed, again clapping his hand over his mouth to catch his moan.

"Don't you think," Fili coaxed huskily, "it might be time we let the whole house know how good you're getting it from me? If you sound wanton enough when you come, perhaps Kee will come in and give you what you'll be aching for next."

With a sexy smile, Bilbo lowered his hands and allowed himself to give voice to his enjoyment.

"Fee! Oh, _fuck_ , so good...so good!" Bilbo crooned.

The feel of Fili's slick hand on his needful cock had him close in a handful of breaths. Fantasizing about Bofur and Kili joining them pushed him closer still. He thought about Kili running in and fucking the last remnants of emptiness from him, perhaps while Bilbo licked a quivering Bofur until he begged for Fili to take him. Bilbo's vocalizations grew steadily louder until he came swearing and shouting Fili's name.

Fili could not have planned it more perfectly--Bofur and Kili stepped into the master bedroom in time to see the last pulses of Bilbo's orgasm land on his stomach. 

Knowing his moans called them, Bilbo craned his head and grinned at the arrival of more lovers.

Bofur met Fili's eyes and instantly kenned from the satisfied smirk on his face that Fili had orchestrated this private seduction of Bofur's beloved on purpose.

Fili dipped down to Bilbo's stomach, gaze still on Bofur's, and cleaned him with his tongue. He had scarcely finished when Bilbo tugged him up the length of his body and kissed him ravenously. Fili closed his eyes and let Bilbo lick into his mouth, enjoying the hum of his lover's enthusiasm as they embraced. His eyes flicked to Bofur again, noticing the shock in his expression was now sharing a burgeoning anger.

Bofur nearly shook with rage when Fili spitefully lapped Bilbo up without breaking their glance. When Bilbo kissed him so insistently, an ill feeling joined his fury. He turned on his heel and walked out.

Fili's attention went to Kili next, hoping the end of this passion play hadn't upset his brother. Kili already had his tunic off, working frantically at his tightening trousers with a mischievous grin on his face. Fili couldn't help smiling, too. He should have realized Kili's lustful nature was going to make it all okay. A glance back at Bilbo's glowing, affectionate face dimmed Fili's smile, though. Suddenly, using him for revenge when Bilbo had been so giving, so adoring, and so happy to be in his arms made Fili feel like a shameful fraud. He climbed off the bed, hopped into his bottoms, and gathered his other clothes.

"Where are you going?" Bilbo said, rolling over onto his stomach. 

Bilbo's voice was tinged with disappointment, and Fili was unexpectedly touched that he did not want him to leave. Fili smoothed a hand over Bilbo's curls.

"Kee is here to give you what you need," he murmured. "I'm off to see to my own."

The latter part wasn't exactly true, but he kissed Bilbo tenderly to conceal the partial lie.

"Wait, you're _leaving_?" asked Kili, surprised.  
Fili patted Kili on the arse. "I've got him ready for you, so fuck him well."

Fili had his shirt half on already as he disappeared into the hall, closing the door behind him. 

Bilbo and Kili looked after him a moment in mild bewilderment before lustily turning their attentions to each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a lot of thought, I broke one giant chapter up into two. The wait for the next part will be much shorter than last time!


	26. Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we go.

"So you knew he was going to do this?" Bilbo gasped between kisses.  
Grinning, Kili said, "Yes. It was arranged this morning."  
"Oh, Yavanna's Grace, you are a scamp if ever I knew one. So the two of you were plotting to get my fingers up Fili's bum, were you?"  
"Is that what you did?"

Kili's grin faltered only slightly--so slightly, in fact, hardly anyone else would have noticed--but Bilbo immediately froze.

"Was-was I not supposed to? It was not the first time and I didn't think-"  
"-No, it isn't that," Kili said. "It's nothing."

He dipped down, attempting to resume their session, but Bilbo reached up to hold his face.

"Anything that dims the brightness of that smile is not nothing, so out with it."  
"My jewel, it is not you or anything you did. In fact, it has little to do with us at all. You've already made it a much bigger deal than it it truly is."  
"May as well tell me then."  
Kili sighed, knowing he wasn't getting out of this without an explanation. "Fee--he's been very careful in our play, you know? The frequency of it and such...you remember me telling you about the conversations we've had."  
"I do," Bilbo agreed.  
"Lately, I had been thinking he was not feeling the need for as much caution. He's been more open to us touching in bed, at any rate."  
Bilbo hummed. "I've noticed that, too."  
"I thought it might have been the bond already existing that had originally spooked him. After all, before we had figured it out--that first time when I was telling him what Thorin had done--he was far from skittish."  
"No, he was not shy that evening at all."  
"Right! And our last couple times together have finally seen a little more of that boldness except..."  
"Except?"  
"He--gods, I feel really weird saying this--he won't let me _inside_ , Bee. He won't put his mouth on my cock, he won't let me use my fingers, any of that."  
"Is it possible those sorts of things might be past the limits of what he wants the two of you to explore?"  
"I thought of that, but he has no problem doing them to me! You saw him that first night, how relentless he was...and the times after that, too. He has come in my mouth, he has had his fingers within me--it is obvious he is comfortable with the the two of us doing more than kissing."  
Bilbo squirmed under Kili. "I apologize--I swear I'm listening to you--but you're making me hard again, talking that way."

Kili's smile returned and he rolled his hips against Bilbo to further the tease.

He continued, "Anyway, it has been on my mind lately and I wish he would trust me the way he trusts you. That's all. Like I said, it is not anything you've done wrong or anything I'm jealous of between you. I promise."  
"Good. I would have hated for you to have regretted your part in setting up this surprise for me."

Kili lowered his head again, claiming another kiss.

"So you enjoyed it, then? When he brought it up, I so hoped it would be a delight for you both," asked Kili.  
"Oh, it was!" gushed Bilbo. "It is so different, being with him alone--different, but its own manner of wonderful. Although I'd surely miss the sight of the two of you together, you might try it for yourself. Honestly, I fell a little in love with him."  
"And he with you, I have no doubt," Kili said sweetly. "As for trying it myself, Fee is already reticent enough to touch when we are all four in a bed, and you know me: I'm the same whether there are four in a bed or two."  
Bilbo giggled. "True. I can't remember the last time you held anything back when you had leave to give. Possibly not ever."  
"If you'll recall, I had trouble holding back with you even when I _didn't_ have leave to give," replied Kili.

His smile faded softly, though not in sadness.

"Other than those stolen moments when I pushed for everything I could get, it used to be that dreaming was the only way I could be with you the way I wanted. Now, I can hardly wait to wake up because it means I can spend the day with you. I adore you with everything I am, Bilbo."  
Gazing up at him, Bilbo said, "I don't know by what mystery, wisdom, or fate we were put on this path together, dear heart, but I'll be grateful for the rest of our lives."

Kili claimed Bilbo's mouth passionately, grinding against him. Bilbo moaned underneath, giving back everything, desperate to be filled by this amazing creature on top of him. Bilbo felt the pang of emptiness and he was harder than stone all over again.

Gasped Kili, "I want you so badly, I ache. Can I-"  
"-Please, Kee! Yes, _now_!"

*****

Fili could hear the noise of Bofur pacing well before he saw him doing it, down the hall at the entrance to the study. Bofur stopped in his tracks when Fili came into view.

"Ho, now! I'm surprised you could tear yourself away," he snapped.  
Already spoiling for this fight, Fili fired back, "Well, I'm not you."

Fili saw Bofur's fury manifest in his face, his eyes narrowing and his jaw set. 

Bofur sucked in a breath to speak but thought better of it. He glanced past Fili in the direction of the master bedroom and made a quick decision. 

Not wanting Bilbo and Kili involved in the worst of the inevitable fight, he rumbled, "Follow me." 

Bofur stalked down the opposite hallway, past the smoking room and into a rarely-used storage room, closing the door once Fili was inside with him. They stared at each other, Bofur waiting (and wishing) for an explanation or apology that did not come. Bofur's mouth pressed a grim line as he steeled himself for a battle that promised to be harder on his soul than the one they all fought outside Erebor. 

"Do you mind," he said sharply, "telling me what in the bloody void was going on in there?"  
"I should think it obvious."  
Bofur swallowed hard, the hurt trading places with his anger. "I'm hoping there was more to it than the obvious, more to it than, than..."  
"Than what?" prodded Fili curtly.  
"Betrayal, Fili."  
"Betrayal, you say? No, I think you're just angry because you said he didn't care enough to follow me for a more intimate liaison and he _did_ and you hate that. Maybe you have yourself a bit of a double standard, hm? Or perhaps you feel you have some sort of right to Bilbo that somehow I'm excluded from? He is a person, you know, not a private club."  
"Don't give me that," Bofur snarled. "Don't try to take some sort of moral high ground, here, and don't try to change the subject. You did this on purpose, to hurt and to spite me for what I said the other day about one-on-one time, and maybe a little to get back at for yesterday while you were at it. Did you have to dishonor yourself like this simply to prove a point? Did you have to drag poor Bilbo into it to do so?"  
Fili made a noise of disgust. "Oh, you wish to speak of honor? Where, then, is my honorable Bo, who simply wanted what was best for those he loved? Who did not put selfish wants above Bilbo's happiness, or my happiness for that matter? I don't see the Bo anymore who castigated Thorin for being selfish and only thinking with his prick. In fact, I think you've taken Thorin's place in that regard!"  
"That's quite rich," Bofur contemptuously laughed. "Are you talking to me or are you referring to your own reflection?"

Fili wouldn't admit it, but the volleyed accusation wasn't helping the guilt he had been feeling over using Bilbo.

Nevertheless, he barked back, "Me? How dare you?"  
"You are telling me you don't see it?" spat Bofur. "Spending the other afternoon with Bilbo and Kili, playing bed games without me? Sneaking off with Bilbo today to get off in private, besides?"  
"How is that different than what you have been doing? At least I have not lain next to you in our bed, or with my cock in your mouth, and wished you were Bilbo."  
Bofur sputtered angrily, looking for the words to argue in reply. Fili did not wait for an answer.  
"And I can go better! You didn't even try to find me yesterday after I came home to find you knuckles deep in Bilbo's arse. No, you stayed with them and had yourself a time, didn't you? And how many times have you and Bilbo had private, filthy liaisons without myself or Kee either one?"  
"That's not the same! You ran off with him maliciously! You knew exactly what you were doing!"  
"Durin fucking _wept_!" Fili swore in hurt and frustration. "What's so gut-wrenching is that you aren't even jealous for me! You don't seem to care that while I was doing things to him, he was doing them to me, too! You're not jealous of him giving me, your betrothed, the most sensual, satisfying suck of my life--and it was, _believe me_ Bofur, it was--but you're sure as fuck jealous I touched your precious Bee without you to keep a watchful eye! You're hoping to fuck him, aren't you? That's what all this secrecy and yearning has been about--you've been dying to spend a load up his arse and I might as well be sent straight to the bloody Void for daring to distract him!"

Bofur listened to Fili talk about what could potentially be Bofur's bond with Bilbo in such crude terms and seethed, though being caught out with these uncomfortable truths in such an explosive, unexpected way tempered his reaction.

Tightly, Bofur confirmed, "Aye, I do wish to share an imprint with him."  
Fili didn't pause to let the heartache sink in, continuing furiously, "What about Thorin? Have you considered that? Or were you eager to spring this on him, to one-up him in the pissing contest you've been having since the day you found out Thorin loved him, too?"  
"Thorin has given me his leave," Bofur declared, punctuating the statement by stalking out of the room.

Fuming, Fili followed after him all the way to their bedroom, shutting the door behind him and picking up the conversation where Bofur had let it drop.

"Ha!" Fili scoffed. "I would have thought you--of all people--could have come up with a more creative lie than that."  
"It's true, Fili," Bofur said quietly.

Something about Bofur's face and tone struck Fili to the core. Fili's angry, incredulous smile instantly dissolved.

"When?" he asked.

Bofur's remaining ire was quelled by Fili's crestfallen expression. Though it was the truth, he did not feel in any way victorious as he explained himself.

"When they left in the caravan back to Erebor. Thorin said that-"  
Fili held up a hand. "-No. Just...fucking don't."

Fili distinctly remembered Thorin murmuring something to Bofur for their ears alone. In fact, he could still recall the look of utter shock on Bofur's face. Suddenly, a weeks-old mystery had been solved; Fili knew Bofur was not lying.

He spoke again. "So, all this time you've kept this from me? Why have you not mentioned conversation before?"  
"Because Thorin's permission was not Bee's, or Kee's, or...or yours. The possibility of his leave ever being needed seemed nothing more than a fantasy--one too hurtful to speak of even hypothetically, especially when I thought it might never come to pass."  
" _I asked you_ ," Fili insisted. "I asked you outright if you wanted Bilbo like that!"  
"I didn't know what to tell you!"  
"The truth!"  
"I didn't know how you'd respond."  
"You had always trusted me before, you know." Fili said quietly, glancing down at his hands and fidgeting with his ring. "You--you did a lot of things before."  
"Fee..." implored Bofur.  
Shaking his head subconsciously, Fili asked, "What was the thing I told you, way back, when this all began? When I didn't get angry or wildly jealous, when I only defended and supported you in pursuing your happiness in having these non-traditional impulses? What was it?"  
"That you didn't mind sharing, as long as you were not sacrificed, as long as I didn't forget I had a betrothed."  
"But you did. You did forget."  
"I didn't!" maintained Bofur.  
"You've been half somewhere else for days--mooning, yearning!" Fili's voice steadily rose in hurt and intensity. "You've been passing over spending time with me in hopes of catching time alone with him. You even tattooed his name on your thigh, right where mine is, as though you were to marry the both of us, so do us both a favor and stop lying to me, Bo!"

It was Fili's turn to storm out of the room this time. Bofur followed him as far as the front door to Bag End, where he caught up to Fili snatching his fur cloak and twisting the door handle. 

Grabbing his arm to stay him, Bofur called Fili's name. Fili turned to look back at him with tears in his eyes, eyes which now carried none of their earlier defiance.

"Please...just stop," Fili whispered. 

Bofur released him and they stared at each other for a long moment. 

Once again, Fili closed the door behind him.

*****

Bofur trudged back to their bedroom alone feeling as though he carried all of Middle Earth on his shoulders with him. He wanted to follow Fili right then as he hadn't had the sense to do yesterday, but something in Fili's voice and haunted expression told him this time the wise thing to do was stay behind. There was nothing more to say just yet, nothing else to drag out of their souls to scrutinize by the light of day. Bofur didn't like being home while Fili was out there, but what they needed right now was enough distance to sort out the things they had shouted at each other.

He flopped across the bed, crossed his arms under his chin, and glowered at the wall. Being compared to Thorin at the height of his brooding, selfish obsession was utterly jarring. Bofur had sworn at the time that he would never have acted like that towards anyone he loved, and yet...here alone in their room could not deny Fili had been right. Thinking back with a clear head, he realized his happy-go-lucky demeanor had been replaced more recently with sulking, secret smokes and days of pining. Instead of appreciating the fact that he was about to marry his prince, he had been spending hours wondering how Bilbo felt, what Bilbo was thinking, and fantasizing about touching him again. His poor Fili! He hadn't thought at the time he had been distracted in his relationship, but Fili clearly had felt the distance. How could Bofur not have noticed it had gotten this bad? Where had his mind _been_?

Suddenly, fate seemed terribly cruel. After all this time, it looked like he and Bilbo were finally at a place where their footing was more sure, where their emotional and physical relationships were at last blessedly mutual and not simply wistful sighs and scenarios in Bofur's imagination. Now, when it seemed Bofur and Bilbo were breaths away from the conversations that could take them from bedmates to bond-mates, Bofur was on the verge of losing Fili. He did not want to pick between them, now nor ever, and yet it seemed that was exactly what it had come to.

Bofur rolled over on his back and scrubbed his face with his hands. Only moments after having been as angry as Bofur has ever seen him, Bofur's intended had left Bag End without him. Bofur's other precious lover was down the hall screaming in ecstasy, wrapped round another dwarf's cock. Somehow, love seemed so much easier back in the days when he was allowed nothing more than daydreams of them both.

He stared at the ceiling, gathering the courage to make the hardest decision of his life.

*****

With his cloak wrapped around him and a fire coming to life in the hearth, Fili sat on the kitchen floor of the smial he and Bofur had bought for each other. They had not planned to move in until the return from the next trip to Erebor, but to surprise Bofur, Fili had put plans in the works to have it finished enough for them to spend time this winter at their leisure detailing parts of the inside to get it just the way they wanted it. Secretly, he had the extra rooms excavated and the last of the floors installed. All the hearths were fully functional and Fili had recently purchased a load of wood to keep the place heated for the days they chose to come by to work. He had been excitedly, impatiently planning to unveil it to Bofur when it was ready, then Hamfast brought him the word he had long been awaiting yesterday morning...

Fili sighed heavily. That suddenly seemed long ago.

He hated fighting with Bofur.

In Lake Town, Thorin had given Fili (and Kili) advice. Fili had been far too involved with caring for Kili's fragile heart at the time to consider it in regards to himself, but now Thorin's voice stretched across Fili's memory:

_"I have learned one cannot choose who they love or when. All I can tell you is that when it occurs, it is a beautiful and magnificent thing. When it happens for you, my dear nephews, do not let it pass you by. Take hold of it and never let it go."_

That's what Fili had been trying to do, wasn't it?

Mulling over Thorin's words, Fili thought of Bofur. Bofur hadn't chosen to love Bilbo--Mahal knew there had been far less painful paths for him to walk all those months instead of suffering silently on a cold bedroll every night--his love simply _was_...just like when Fili fell in love with Bofur. Was Bofur really so wrong in trying to do for Bilbo what Fili did for him? Taking hold of that love and not letting go?

Except...

Bofur also loved Fili. Shouldn't Bofur be nurturing that love and not coming so perilously close to letting it go, either?

*****

Bilbo always loved holding Kili in the honeyed laziness that followed their coupling. Starting out this morning, he hadn't anticipated he and Kili would be together like this until after bedtime. Being as he far preferred these moments close and adored in Kili's arms for sharing secrets, he decided there wouldn't possibly be a better time today to share Bofur's news.

"Yesterday, Bofur told me...well, he told me he wanted to make love to me."  
"Make love as in the imprint, the commitment, all of it?" Kili asked.  
"Yes, and I confessed to him how I've entertained similar thoughts myself."  
"You already know that's no surprise to me, but I'll bet he sure was shocked and delighted," Kili said.  
Smiling to himself at the memory, Bilbo remarked, "That's sort of what spurred what you walked in on in the sitting room."  
"Can't say I wouldn't have the same reaction," Kili purred. "Nor that I didn't, come to think of it."  
Bilbo giggled softly and kissed Kili's arm.  
"Yesterday, huh? Funny, I wouldn't have known for how ordinary Bo was at dinner last night," mused Kili.

A beat passed and something clicked in Kili's mind. _Yesterday_ : Fili's jealousy, disappointment in Bofur, and his strange, subdued mood. 

"Wait, has he told Fee?"  
"Somewhat, he said, though he was vague about the result," Bilbo said.

Kili turned it around in his head. Such a revelation would explain Fili's odd moods and behavior of the past few days, but if Fili knew for sure, wouldn't he have confided in him? As far as Kili knew, Fili only had suspicions, but he had not seemed to be taking them especially well. If it had been confirmed, why was Fili so happy and eager to play this morning? Kili was clearly missing pieces to this puzzle. He pressed for more clues.

"What did Bo say when you told him we had spoken of that possibility between us already?"  
Bilbo conspicuously didn't reply.  
Kili shifted to look at him. "Bee, you did tell him, right?"  
Having trouble looking Kili in the eye, Bilbo gazed hard at the ceiling.  
"You didn't tell him you had mine and Thorin's leave?"  
Bilbo furrowed his brow and rolled his lips inward.  
"Oh, Bee, why didn't you?" Kili asked, disappointment in his voice.  
"Because," Bilbo said, voice faltering. "I was scared."

Kili sighed and folded Bilbo closer in his arms.

"Scared of what?" he asked gently.  
"A little of everything. I promised Thorin that leave or not, I would not change our situation until we were together again, and besides that, I want more time to think on it, just like I had time to think on you. After rushing things with Thorin and hurting him so badly, I don't want to do that again to anyone."  
"You don't still regret Thorin, though...do you?"  
"No! I don't regret Thorin at all, not the love of him. I regret the awful, awful way I handled it, though. I owe it to everyone I love to be smarter about these things, and I owe it to Thorin himself to keep my word, even if he did give his leave. I didn't want to get into all of that with Bofur yesterday, not yet, not at the very moment I had just chased the frown from his face."

Kili hummed in understanding, caressing his back soothing circles. "There's something else, though, isn't there?"

Bilbo was silent for so long, Kili wondered for a moment if he hadn't heard him. 

"I was worried for Fee."  
"What about him?"  
"Think about the scenario for a moment: Bo confesses he wants me, I admit I have desires like that, too, and oh--just by the way--it so happens Thorin and Kee have said they would not stand in the way if that was what we truly wanted. Suddenly, it goes from being fantasy to potentially real. The only person left to chime in his feelings is Fee. Well, what if Fee didn't want that? What if Fee was fine with everything else but wanted to keep that bond sacred, just between the two of them? Perhaps, and I would hope, Bo would be the sort of person who would not resent Fee for that, but I know Fee would feel the pressure regardless. You know how caring and kind he is, Kee. He might wind up giving permission simply to make me and Bo happy, even if it tears his heart out."  
"So, what was your plan?" Kili asked. "To keep Thorin's part of this a secret? Because you know Fee and Bo would eventually ask me for my part."  
"No! I don't want to keep secrets like that. You and I know too well what damage secrets can do. No, I wanted to find out Fee's real thoughts first without him feeling the burden of being decider. I don't know--in light of what transpired between us this morning, maybe I was silly to worry so much about him not wanting me so close to his marriage bed, but oddly enough I feel more protective of his feelings now than ever."  
"Well, the subject isn't going to keep forever, especially now since you and Bo have discussed it between yourselves. We should all probably have a talk about it soon and discover what it means for our future, or if we even want it to go beyond talk at all."  
"I know, and I agree. I can't properly describe why, but my gut is telling me we need to leave it to Bo and Fee to broach the next discussion in that direction. There's too much at stake, and you're right--any one of us might be fine with discussing the hypothetical situation, but balk at the fleshly reality."  
"Speaking of fleshly reality, I wonder where they ran off to?" Kili said. "I must have misunderstood Fili this morning. I was sure he and Bofur were to join us."

****

Fili did not know how long he had been sitting on the floor of the kitchen--possibly a couple hours, judging by the light in the room--when Bofur walked in.

"I thought I might find you here," Bofur said.  
"How many places did you look?"  
"This was the first one."  
Fili huffed a wistful laugh. "I guess you know me pretty well, at least."  
Bofur glanced around. "I didn't realize you had finished the floors?"  
"I hired them out, as well as the extra rooms we wanted dug. I--I went to inspect the finished work the other day when I asked you to do errands with me, that day I came home to...well, doesn't matter. Anyway, I wanted you to come along because I was going to surprise you."  
"And I didn't go with you," noted Bofur solemnly.  
"No."  
Bofur knelt on the floor across from Fili. "Fee, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the things I said, the way I've made you feel, not noticing sooner that I was neglecting you....everything, really. Taking what you've shared with me, putting myself in your place, and viewing the way I've been acting through your eyes--well, I'm shamed. More than shamed, I'm horrified. Hurting you, ignoring you, not showing you how much I adore you...none of that was my intention. Intention or not, though, it was your perception and your truth for I don't know how many painful days. I'm gutted, thinking of how confusing and distressing it had to be for you and I'll probably never apologize enough."

Fili looked at Bofur, seeing the regret and sorrow in his eyes and aching for it himself.

Bofur said, "I think-"

He paused to take a breath and swallow around the lump that formed in his throat. This was going to be difficult.

"That is, we agreed to stop all of this bed sharing before we would let it harm our relationships with each other. In light of our conversation earlier, I think that time might be now."  
Fili noticed Bofur was trembling, and this time he knew it wasn't about food. "Are you saying we should end it with Bilbo and Kili?"  
Rolling his lips inward for another deep breath, Bofur nodded. "And go back to the way it was at Beorn's, just you and me in this relationship, with them as family and nothing more. Move out of Bag End right away, too, as I don't think I'd rightly have the heart to live there and listen to them at night anymore."

Fili's heart thudded against his skin even as it seemed to sink down to his stomach. 

"Is-is that what you want?" he asked, shocked.  
Bofur ran a hand over his hair, frustrated. "I love Bilbo. I love him so much, Fee, I do, but you? You are my Chosen. If my hand is forced between you, then of course it has to be you. I do not want to be without you. Not ever."  
"That's all I want, all I ever wanted," Fili said. "To matter, to be your mate and partner."  
"Fee, 'course you matter," said Bofur throatily, a tear spilling down his cheek. "You matter the most."  
"It did not feel that way for a while," Fili confessed.  
A second drop rolled down Bofur's other cheek. "It is to my shame that you could have doubted it. You _are_ my mate, my partner."

Fili wiped Bofur's tears, feeling his own threaten to fall. He studied Bofur's face closely. 

Asked Fili, "Is this truly your wish, to go back to just us two?"  
"Aye. If that is what it takes for you to still want to marry me, consider it well and done."  
"No!" Fili practically shouted, making them both jump. More subdued, he continued, "I don't need us to stop our arrangement to want to marry you. Believe me when I say, all selflessness aside, I personally love what we do and how we do it. I would be grieved should it have to end. As for you, I don't want to make you go through what Bilbo went through with Thorin and Kee. You don't need to. I don't hate that you love him, or even that you want more from him. What I hated was you being distracted from me while you longed for him. What I hated was wondering-" Fili faltered, "-wondering if you wished you had courted him in my place."  
"That was a stupid and heartbreaking oversight on my part," Bofur said, shaking his head. "I never, ever wished for him instead of you. Like Bilbo with Kili and Thorin, what I wanted was you both. If I was made to choose, though, it would always be you."  
"I doubted that for a while."  
"Please, I beg you, never doubt it again. My golden god...I love you."  
"I adore you, Bo. It hurt me tremendously to think you didn't love me as much."  
Bofur leaned in, cupping Fili's face. "Can I still have the rest of my life to make this up to you? Please? Please say you'll let me."  
"'Til the end?" Fili asked, finally letting his pent-up tears spill.  
"Oh...oh, _Fee_ ," Bofur choked, crying outright. "'Til the end."

Bofur pressed his lips to Fili's, softly at first but growing in urgency. Bofur had feared on the way over that he might not ever kiss Fili again. 

They embraced each other on the newly finished floor, sobbing, kissing, smiling, laughing, and sobbing some more, overcome by wave after wave of emotion and relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is still here! I live for your readership and your comments <3


	27. Meanwhile...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's spend some time with Thorin's arrival in Erebor, which happened a handful of days prior to the latest chapter's timeline in Bag End.

The approach of Thorin and company was noticed by the ravens (and later, the guards) well before he reached the gate. By the time he reached the path, an audience of Ereborian citizens nearly eighty strong--with Balin and Dain at the front--awaited him at the main entry. 

"Hail, King Thorin!" Balin decreed.  
The dwarves echoed, "Hail, King Thorin!"  
Balin glanced past Thorin. "You've brought many!"

Balin referring to him as king and the assemblage seeming to agree settled part of the uneasiness Thorin had felt on the way there. He had not been sure he would still have an office to command upon his return. Though he was road-weary, Thorin straightened in his saddle and spoke with kingly command.

"We are proud and contented to return to Erebor after so many weeks to and from The Shire. Our Prince Kili has been wed to his Chosen, who is now also known as Prince Bilbo of Erebor. Hail, the glorious princes!"

Many a soul was surprised for Thorin to speak thus, as his own broken engagement was not at all a secret. Some of them looked to the company behind Thorin, straining to see if the pair had returned.

With varying degrees of conviction, the crowd responded, "Hail, the glorious princes."  
"Princes Kili, Fili, and Bilbo did not return with me, electing to stay in the Shire. With them are Ori and Bofur. Nori and Bifur also have their own paths for now and chose not to return home to the mountain quite yet."

A murmur broke out in the crowd--so few of The Fourteen had returned to Erebor!

"However," Thorin noted, "I am pleased and proud to finally present to you my sister, Princess Dís of Erebor!"

The dwarves cheered. Dís waved and preened, though she would have preferred to have been washed and begowned for this first mass introduction to citizens of the mountain.

Thorin had a mind for a moment to announce the engagement, but thought better of it. Dwalin might have wished to privately make the announcement to his brother and cousins himself.

"Along with Dís, we have several of our kin and friends from the West, ready to remake their lives in Erebor. Among them, you will find some of the finest warriors, workers, and artisans Ered Luin has to offer. Their settling here will serve to elevate Erebor to a higher glory."

Another cheer went up.

"I have also brought craftspeople from Rivendell," Thorin said resolutely. "Which henceforth will be known as Erebor's ally and friend."

A confused rumble went through the crowd. Thorin hoped even more fiercely his crown was safe and that he was not making himself an enormous fool with such proclamations before so much as dismounting his horse. Still, this was easier to do now to a mass of dwarrows by way of introduction, and he especially did not want anyone giving the elves any trouble in these first stages of their arrival.

"Elrond and his folk have proven their worth and loyalty to The Fourteen time and time again, and though I yet have no great love for the likes of Thranduil, the people of Rivendell will be respected whenever an Ereborean citizen meets them, whether in the mountain or out in their travels. So it is decreed by the king!"  
"So it is decreed by the king," the assemblage repeated dutifully.  
"Carry that message forth and have it posted so as not to be missed. Also let it be known not to judge our guests as craftspeople until one has tried their wares. The mattresses in Rivendell are unlike anything I've experienced, and I daresay that anyone who choses to push aside their pride enough to employ these artisans will reap the benefits of amazing rest and good...other bedroom activities."

Thorin, satisfied for the moment that the most pressing news had been shared, shot Balin a brief look. Balin, understanding, turned around to speak to the crowd.

"Speaking of rest, our king and travelers are in need of it, and I imagine food besides. There will be time for more news later when limbs aren't as heavy and stomachs so spare."

Save for Bombur, Glóin, their families, and Dain, the rest of the citizens dispersed and made their way back toward warmer shelter. Thorin dismounted and greeted the rest properly. Óin, Dori, Dís, and Dwalin were right behind. 

"As I live and breathe," Dain said, bowing low. "It is the Princess Dís! Let me say most sincerely that you've only grown fairer over the decades."  
"And it seems you've used the time to have your tongue treated with silver, kind cousin," she replied.  
"Oh, Thorin! We're going to have a right time with this one, aren't we?" Dain said, chuckling. "It'll do us good to have her at council! Prettier to look at than the likes of the other warg-faces sitting 'round the room, too!"

Dwalin fixed an eye on Dain. He had always liked his cousin, but he was a damned flirt if Dwalin ever knew one. He cleared his throat meaningfully.

Dain turned his attention to Dwalin, "What's the matter with you? Are you upset I've not said how fair you were, yet? Come 'ere and give us a kiss!"

He jumped up and grabbed Dwalin into a headlock, laughing heartily. Dwalin broke it easily and shook his head, grinning as well. 

"You daft, warty fool!" Dwalin shouted. "What were we thinking, leaving Erebor partly in his charge, Thorin?"

Dwalin and Dain happily butted heads and the greetings continued. 

Bombur approached Thorin. "I guessed where Bofur was, but you said Bifur had chosen a different path? What word have you?"  
Thorin dug into his pouch and handed him letters. "This is all I have to share at the moment, though they are only as recent as the time we left Rivendell."  
"Thank you," Bombur said gratefully. "And you? Are you...that is, I hope that..."

Bombur trailed off, not quite sure how to give his condolences for Bilbo's marriage now that it actually had happened. He was up a few coins over it, as a matter of fact, but it didn't mean he didn't feel for Thorin. He wouldn't want to imagine losing his own sweet love like that. 

Thorin firmly laid a hand on Bombur's shoulder. "Thank you for your concern, Bombur. I'm doing well."  
"Good, that's good," Bombur replied, stepping back to let others say their welcomes.

As attention moved on to the others and conversations were started, Balin took Thorin aside. 

"So they are married, then," he said solemnly.  
"Yes."  
"And you, how has it been for you since?"  
Thorin answered cryptically, but with no outright lie. "It was a trying trip--grueling at times, and not merely the travel--but I see now it could not have happened any other way. I'm better for having gone."

Balin chose his next words carefully. A bit too carefully, it seemed, because Thorin read his face before he could speak.

"I know you want to know all the details," Thorin said. "I'll give as many as I can bear and the others will fill in the rest, I'm sure, but at the moment I think we're all desperate for a bath, a meal, and possibly our beds. Will there be accommodation for the new settlers?"  
"Aye, you were spotted by the ravens well ahead of your arrival. We have temporary lodgings for them ready to go in one of the barracks. We've got a guest room for Dís until she selects the room she wants for herself."

Thorin's face twitched, though he schooled his smile. Dís and Dwalin would not need separate accommodation for long--if at all.

"If you please, will you put someone on the task of getting guest rooms ready for the elves?" Thorin asked.  
"The elves? Thorin, putting them ahead of the people who are moving their whole lives here from Ered Luin is not wise."  
"They are my personal guests and hired craftsfolk. I'm paying them for a job and part of the promised payment is accommodation. Besides, we cannot have Rivendellian elves say dwarrows do not offer hospitality, not when we were cared for so lavishly. If anyone has anything to say, send them to me and I'll explain it. Thoroughly."  
Balin thought the last word sounded rather threatening. "As you wish. Come now, let's do what we can to supply comfort to all."

With the feeding and care of the ponies delegated, Dain helped Balin and the guards funnel the new arrivals to where they could lay down their burdens. Bathing became a sticky issue, though. Everyone wanted a bath, though Dwalin did not want anyone bathing at the same time as Dís.

"I've had two babies," She pointed out. "Even if modesty hadn't already been dashed to bits from the lack of privacy traveling in a group, let me tell you there's nothing that will eradicate one's self-consciousness faster than birthing a child!"  
Dwalin didn't quite understand, but he remained resolute. "Well, it isn't done. You're a princess--you do not need your subjects knowing what you look like in naught but your hair!"

The argument went back and forth, but ultimately a bargain was struck to flip a coin to determine bathing order between the sub-groups of travelers. Thorin made made up his mind he was bathing with the first group, regardless--ignoring all of Dwalin's horrified noises about royalty and propriety, notions which weren't saved for merely Dís--and took his meal privately. He was ready for a true, warm night's rest and wanted it sooner than later. 

Balin and Dain both came by Thorin's room while he was eating to discuss what had happened in his absence, but it was the last thing Thorin wanted that night. Still, they had indulged in him being gone for weeks and the answers to a question or two of Thorin's own might help him sleep more soundly. He motioned for them to sit in the chairs he had available; he stood, leaving his food half eaten for the time being. 

"It seems Erebor still stands and I am not exiled, at the very least," Thorin began. "The mountain seems to be running well with more than the planned improvements made since I've been gone. You two have done well."

Balin and Dain both nodded deeply in thanks. 

"Has it taken much breath and toil to protect my office while I've been away?" Thorin asked.

Balin glanced at Dain. 

Clearing his throat, he said, "Thorin, though we were able to protect the throne in your absence, it did come at a price. There was a motion put forth in committee that the council could override decisions of the King's that did not seem to be in proper interest for Erebor or her peoples. It was seconded, and so passed."

Thorin rubbed his beard, contemplating this. His silence unnerved Balin, who began to over-explain.

"The memory, or at least rumor, of your father and the gold is still carried among our people. You yourself were not exempt from its influence, and you didn't take pains to keep it deeply secret once you broke free of its thrall. It was put forth that there needed to be protection again, should one of our leaders show signs of being compromised."

"Who seconded the motion?" Thorin asked.

Balin's face contorted painfully, warring with himself whether or not he should tell. Dain saved him.

"I was the one who seconded it," Dain said. "No treason intended, you must understand, nor any delusions of becoming greater than a steward. I could have joined the argument calling for me to step up as king--because there was one--but I declined out of loyalty to you. So was the reason I voted in favor of the council override: Loyalty to you and what you stand for. The Thorin I know would not want to see Erebor suffer at the whims of a gold-blinded tyrant."  
"Dain!" Balin cried, horrified.  
"Balin, please," Thorin said. "I'm not angry, nor am I offended. You guessed rightly of my wishes, Dain--I know only too well the terrible judgement of one whose mind is clouded with the dragon sickness. I do not hold anything against you for the choice you made."  
Now Balin looked ashamed. "But...I did not vote for it."  
Assured Thorin, "I am not offended by that, either. You kept your loyalty in your way, Dain kept it in his. I thank you both for having my best interests in mind, as well as the needs of Erebor. You are good stewards, good kin, and good friends. I only hope council keeps this new rule for times of severe injustice instead of using it against leaders for ignoble or darker political reasons."

There was a soft knock at the door and Thorin inwardly cringed at more interruptions standing between him, the rest of his dinner, and his bed. 

"Dwalin," a gruff voice said.  
"Come in, come in!" Balin replied cheerfully, opening the door. "I've hardly had a sight of you since you arrived, save for dinner!"  
"Aye, and at dinner he was looking at the princess like she was dessert!" Dain chortled.  
"Don't make fun," Balin chided, knowing how long Dwalin had adored Dís from afar.  
Thorin asked, "How is she? Does she like your room?"  
" _Your_ room?" Balin echoed.  
Dain's eyebrow shot up curiously.  
"She does," Dwalin replied, grinning. "It suits us for now, anyway. You know she is making plans."  
Laughing, Thorin said, "Oh, I know, and I'll hear even more in the days to come! Or rather, you will. I'll only have to deal with the final requests--it is you who will have to share in the arranging."  
" _Excuse me_ ," Balin said firmly, not to be ignored a second time. "What do you mean 'does she like your room' and 'it suits us?'"  
"Well, the Princess Dís has allowed me to court her," Dwalin announced proudly.  
"What? Truly?" Balin cried. "After all these years! Oh, what happy news this is! But what of the mourning?"  
"Balin, it has been decades," Thorin gently said. "Not everyone must live the whole of their lives alone after their Chosen dies."  
Quietly, Balin replied, "I know. I know, Thorin."  
Dain clapped Dwalin heartily on the back. "Good on you! I was wondering when you'd get up the stones to confess to her! If you'd only done it a hundred years ago-"  
"Dain," warned Thorin. "If only he'd done it a hundred years ago, they wouldn't be the same people they are now, and we would not have had the joy of the princes in our lives."  
Dain immediately kenned he had gone too far with his teasing. "Aye, we wouldn't have and that's a fact."  
"There's more," Dwalin said, hoping to turn the mood to joyful again. "Dís and I are to be married."  
Balin came out of his chair, stuttering snatches of the dozens of thoughts going through his mind at once. " _WHAT?_ You--and she--b-but you...and for so long--and the, the, oh! Oh my! And the--yes! In Erebor! A state ceremony...it simply must and--oh! Oh, Dwalin, Thorin, shame on you both! How was this not the first thing out of your mouths when you got here? How did you let dinner and half this meeting go by without so much as a word?"  
Thorin laughed, noting, "Then you would not have listened to another thing after!"  
"Nor, indeed, likely wouldn't have even let them have their supper!" Dain remarked.  
"And yes, brother," Dwalin said, grinning proudly, "It shall formally be a state event, here in the mountain."  
Balin beamed, exalted to bursting. "Finally, a proper royal wedding in Erebor!"

As soon as he said it, his gaze landed on Thorin, who was smiling with sadness in his eyes. Balin quickly remembered too vividly how Thorin's was to be the first since Smaug, and how instead he had just returned from watching his Chosen wed his own kin. His grin faded and he opened his mouth to apologize. 

Thorin held up a hand. "No need, Balin. This wedding is to be joyous and it cannot be properly planned if everyone involved has to tiptoe around memories of the one that might have come before. However, it has been a long series of days. My food is growing cold, I'm ready for my bed, and you no doubt would like to share more stories of your brother's journey with him tonight. You and Dain came to speak to me of official things, so I ask, is anyone in deep or mortal danger that will not keep until morning?"  
Balin shook his head. "No."  
"Is there anything I must know that is profoundly tied to my well-being or the well-being of those I love that can only be remedied by your immediate counsel tonight?"  
Dain smiled wryly. "No, there is not."  
"Then please, whatever can handle one more sleep, can we let it be thus?" Thorin asked. "I'm weary in mind, body, and soul."  
"But it isn't even half-seven, you wee princeling!" goaded Dain.

Balin elbowed Dain in the ribcage. Thorin suppressed the urge to snort in laughter.

"Of course," Balin said, shooting a pointed look at Dain. "There are matters of your office that have been wanting a king's attention, but perhaps we were overly hasty in our expectation of it all to happen immediately upon your arrival."  
"No harm done," Thorin said. "Tomorrow, we shall begin in earnest. I promise."

As Balin and Dain walked down the hall, Thorin heard Dain's voice faintly echo back, "I _told_ you we ought to give him a night to himself before getting back to business!"  
"You told me? _You_ told _me_? The Maker ought to have your tongue for that lie, Dain Ironfoot!" came Balin's indignant voice behind it.  
The sound of Dwalin's hearty laugh faded as they walked further down the corridor.

Thorin closed the door with a fond chuckle. Ah, cousins. He did so miss them while he was away.

*****

Dain split off, leaving Balin and Dwalin to walk by themselves.

"Apparently--that is, I presume--you are as tired as Thorin and it seems you've also a lady waiting," Balin said.  
"Yes....but?" Dwalin recognized the look on Balin's face and knew this was the beginning and not the end of his thought.  
Balin smiled. "But, if you would indulge me a few questions-"  
"Of course, though they will be brief," Dwalin said, _not_ asking.  
"Yes, yes," Balin assured him. 

Balin opened the door to his chambers for Dwalin to enter, looked both ways down the hall, and closed the door behind. He motioned for Dwalin to sit, scooting a second chair near to his so they could speak in quieter tones. 

"I confess, I'm quite surprised you left for one marriage and came home planning your own," he said.  
Dwalin could not suppress his grin. "I don't think you could be more stunned than me, but there's also no one in the world more pleased."  
"I wager the bride to be is at least as pleased."  
"You know, I-I think she truly is. I never thought I would see the day...sometimes I scarcely believe it is real." 

The sweet look on Dwalin's face made him look a century younger. Balin's heart swelled with happiness.

"My joy for you both is a close match to your own, though your wedding is not the one I took you aside to privately discuss," Balin said, his expression growing serious. "How...how is he?"

Dwalin sighed heavily. He had anticipated this conversation for weeks, yet he still did not know what to say to Balin. He barely understood it himself.

"Both better and worse than I expected him to be," Dwalin answered honestly. "Much has happened since we've last spoken of Thorin together in your room."  
"Aye, I am sure that is the least of it. Well, then, tell me of the journey to the Shire. Was it much like the days leading up to your departure?"  
Nodding, Dwalin said, "He was quiet, keeping to himself when we made camp. Didn't eat nearly enough, either. Along the way, he lost whatever will he had to go in the first place and concocted a plan to stay hidden while we visited on Erebor's behalf. He made everyone swear to secrecy and act as though he did not come."

Resting his elbows on his knees, Balin put his head in his hands. 

"How did that go?" came the muffled question.  
"He was caught out skulking by Bilbo himself. Best thing at the time, really--dinner that night was the first time I had seen a genuine smile from him in weeks."  
"Bilbo caught him out, you say? So, how were Bilbo and Kili with him--and he with them?"  
Another heavy sigh escaped Dwalin. "Like when they were here, perhaps a bit more. They were hospitable to us all, taking care to make sure we were looked after and well-received, but they took particular pains for him. Thorin spent most of his time with Bilbo, Kili, or Fili those first days. Something happened, though, while a group of us had gone to visit the mountain and escort Dís. I'm not sure what it was, but it was serious. Balin, he--he cut off one of his _braids_."

Gasping, Balin's hand went to his mouth. How had he not noticed? 

"He didn't," he breathed.  
"Aye," Dwalin said solemnly. "Dís was beside herself with worry, but he was neither forthcoming to her nor me. I still don't know what the purpose of the sacrifice was, though it was obviously something to do with Bilbo and the impending marriage. Between then and the wedding day, he had settled into a melancholy acceptance, participating in many of the activities leading up to the wedding and attending all the parties. Dís said he helped her pay for one of them himself."  
Still astonished, Balin shook his head slowly. "What of Thorin and the wedding itself? How was _that_ for him?"  
"Oh, my brother, just wait until I tell you about Thorin's involvement in the wedding!" Dwalin scoffed.

*****

When he was at last ready to climb into bed, Thorin turned down his blankets and dug into his pack. He drew forth a wrapping and took out Belladonna's puzzle box. After lovingly smoothing his fingers over the carved designs, he placed the box on his night stand. Back into the pack, he gently flipped open another wrapping and pulled out Bilbo's blanket from Bag End. In an attempt to preserve the smell, he hadn't dared take it from his pack in weeks. He held it out, reverently gazing upon it in the remnants of the firelight before pulling it close to him. He breathed deeply--hoping--and was rewarded with that beautiful, comfortable scent of his beloved. The rush of emotion brought tears to his eyes. Not feeling steady at all on his feet, he got into bed with Bilbo's blanket on top of him, tugging the rest of the covers over it for additional warmth. For the first time since leaving his private quarters in Rivendell, he allowed himself to fully succumb to the ache of desperately missing Bilbo. He wept himself past exhaustion, falling asleep with tears still in his eyes.

*****

Balin was quite certain his mouth hadn't been closed for any of Dwalin's recollections, his jaw was so dropped in disbelief.

"Thorin named Bilbo an heir? Kili has taken the Baggins name? Thorin hid in a bloody _tree_ for the whole wedding except to come out for cake only _after_ Bilbo had already left?" Balin repeated, still shaking his head. "I had imagined many, many scenarios, but nothing I had conceived in wildest fancy could compare! What in Durin's name had gotten into that lad?"

 _What indeed_?, Dwalin thought bitterly. 

"And since the wedding? How has he been?" Balin asked.  
"He's...there's..." stuttered Dwalin, not sure how to explain it without letting on what he knew. Thorin's shameful solution was not his to share, nor did he wish to speak of such depravity aloud.  
"What?" Balin pressed.  
Eventually, Dwalin said, "I suppose he has found his own way to make peace with it, though I worry about the state it has left him in. I don't know what is going on in his mind, but I can say it isn't healthy."  
Nodding sagely, Balin noted, "Naming Bilbo fourth in line for his throne is certainly not an act of acceptance."  
Still intentionally vague, Dwalin said, "Our discussions of the matter turn to arguments; we have had to agree to disagree. Dís knows less than even I do."  
"Sounds about usual for Thorin, as unfortunate as it is. Perhaps he will come to confide in me as the days pass. Well," Balin said, standing, "I appreciate your candor and your time, particularly when you've got someone waiting for you. I still have many, many questions, but they will keep."

*****

On his way back to Dís, Dwalin wondered how much of the truth Thorin was going to share with the rest of them--and _when._ He hoped Thorin would come to better sense before something happened they would all regret. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone!


	28. Catching Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Thorin gets back to it, Balin goes a-gossiping.

Thorin woke from a pleasant dream about Bilbo, thinking for a moment he was in Bag End. The sleepy, contented smile on his face faded when he rolled over to pull his beloved into his arms and felt only the cold blanket. His eyes fluttered open and realization crept in. He allowed himself a moment before attempting to shake off the disappointment and the lingering sadness of the night before. After all, though he did not have Bilbo with him, they were still married and Bilbo would be coming to see him when the weather turned warmer. On his long journey back to Erebor, Thorin had vowed to make Bilbo as comfortable and happy there as Bilbo had made him in the Shire. He told himself he could either sulk or could spend the energy preparing for his husband's arrival.

*****

Balin and Dain briefed Thorin on the bigger things he needed to know in the time between breakfast and lunch. The largest change while he was gone were the new members at council, though blessedly there were not many on the list Thorin hadn't already known and respected. Two unfamiliar names from the Iron Hills had been appointed in Thorin's absence on Dain's recommendation. The broadened scope of additional appointees had to be made while the majority of The Fourteen were traveling in order to hold their places, and it was eventually decided to expand the total allowable members at council to include the alternates as full, voting councildwarrows even when The Fourteen were in Erebor. The Fourteen didn't all frequently sit council, anyway, as the position was considered by most of them to be more honorary, and there needed to be a minimum number of council present for all major votes.

After lunch, Balin suggested Thorin spend some time alone in his office reading over the files from the time he was gone. It would save them all time and breath for Thorin to peruse the minutiae on his own, and by the time Balin and Dain got around to the larger pieces of business that needed discussed, Thorin would already have familiarized himself with the particulars. It had been decided a full council would not convene until the following day, giving Thorin time to catch up.

*****

Balin was glad for some time off while Thorin caught up on reading and Dain tended to office. It was going to take him at least a quarter hour (if not more) to get where he was going, but he was determined to make the walk. He had been waiting weeks upon weeks to hear about the Shire wedding! Balin hadn't wanted to bother Thorin for many specifics, as he knew it would likely sting, but Dwalin--while forthcoming with the more personal news about Thorin--was not the person to ask about the planning details, either. No, if he wanted to know about cakes, flowers, and accommodation, there was only one person returning with the traveling party he could trust to have meticulously observed all the right things.

*****

Sitting at his desk, Thorin went over the official business passed in the past few weeks. Balin had made sure to have everything painstakingly recorded in Thorin's absence, so he held pages full of matters both big and small.

He browsed paragraph after paragraph of mine safety analysis/ore reports, structural integrity checks (from where Smaug had bashed into column or wall), merchant permit petitions, debris removal confirmation, waste disposal, trade requisitions, and a host of other smaller details that came from the newly re-created departments of Infrastructure, Commerce, Agriculture, Public Safety, and more. Though they all did not require the king's exact attention, each report was still submitted to council for either approval or archiving. While he was glad he had access to everything that had happened while he was away (and so much of it, thanks to the diligence of Erebor's devoted co-stewards), it was tedious work. Now and then it was broken up by larger matters, referendums, and votes that were more interesting reads in the way of policy and rule.

One of these was the very motion of which Balin and Dain had spoken the night before. It was followed by a small list of pertaining, balancing riders for protection of both king and council. Thorin lightly skimmed these riders but paid little close attention, as most official policies were written thus. 

On another page, he found mention of Balin and Dain signing off on an official agreement that the former Lake Town and current site of Smaug's body would be acknowledged by Erebor as untouchable, up to and including the gold and gems embedded in the worm's hide from the many years spent lounging on Thrór's hoard. Thorin agreed with this particular policy, doubly glad that Bard had at last seen sense enough to petition for it to begin with. There was a time, back when Bard initially sought Lake Town's share of gold from Erebor, when his goal was to rebuild a new Lake town on the old. He tried, bless him, but the ones who survived Smaug had experienced too horrific a tragedy there--and many of their loved ones and neighbors did not live to tell of it after. In an early meeting, Bard confessed to Thorin his hope of rising from the bitter ash and reclaiming the ruined parts of their former home, but it wasn't to be. The surviving citizenry simply did not want to build new homes on what were now essentially graves--no, nor near Smaug's own fallen body, which they considered bitterly cursed. Instead, it was decided Lake Town _would_ rebuild--in the form of a new Dale near Erebor, fulfilling not only Bard's wish for them to rally as a community after the tragedy of Smaug, but also restoring his birthright as Master of Dale. Though it had been too long ago for there to be Men left who remembered living in Dale before Smaug came, the new Dale only overlapped the old one purely of necessity while they built. Once basic needs were met, the old Dale was cared for as one would maintain the monument of a fallen hero, and few chose to make a life within the actual walls of the old construction. For this, Thorin had also been glad, because he _did_ remember...

*****

Balin sat at Dori's table, having been graciously invited in just in time for a fresh pot of tea. He was surprised to see Óin there, too, looking quite casual without his boots on.

Dori poured cups for Balin, Óin, and himself, chatting happily as he went. 

"You wouldn't have believed it if you saw it, Balin," he said. "I know I've never seen anything like it! The wedding and party didn't simply happen at a quaint location--it was more like they took place on wedding _grounds_! Tents and tents were erected, some for this, some for that, one for cake, another for gifts, and so on...and the gift tent was not for the presents from us to them, but from them to us! My, but I'm speaking of tents and I didn't mention the most amazing thing of all. You remember Bilbo mentioning the Party Tree?"  
Balin didn't quite, though he did not want to say so. "Possibly."  
"Well, he did not overstate its size. It's a huge, tall, fat thing with a wide canopy. It is the primary meeting place for that part of the Shire, I learned, and quite a big deal for hobbits. Bilbo did not want to take any chances with rain so he had a tent erected so large that it sheltered the very tree itself, as well as extensions to cover where the tables were. The sides were rolled up and secure so it felt fully open to outside, but had it rained, we would have not gotten a drop on us and still been able to enjoy the beauty of the tree. There was a grove right behind, but with the fabric rolled up, we could see it as though we were not covered at all...minus a few tent poles, of course."  
"How extraordinary!" Balin said.  
Óin interjected, "Oi, tell him about the food!"  
Taking a sip of his tea, Balin implored, "Please! Please tell me about the food!"  
Conspiratorially, Dori leaned forward with his hands clasped. "There was a giant open air kitchen with chefs from leagues around preparing the food and the food-- _the food_! What we had experienced in Bilbo's pantry was only the slightest, barest suggestion of what it was like to experience hobbits' meals."  
"Truly? Tell me more," Balin said.  
So Dori did.

*****

Bombur did his best not to fret, but Bifur's letter was disquieting. Though Bombur was not as close to Bifur as he was to Bofur (or as Bofur was to Bifur), he still loved his cousin dearly and wished him nothing but well. He hoped with every fiber of his being that Bifur made it through his procedure and all his hopes for its outcome had been surpassed, especially in light of Bofur's letter.

Bofur's letter did not mention Bifur's plans to remove the axe, as Bifur would not have gotten the offer from Elrond unti he had reached Rivendell and Bofur's letter was written before the company departed the Shire. However, what Bofur _did_ say about Bifur was that it seemed he might have finally fallen in love again--and Bombur was not at all surprised it was with a hobbit. Even before the accident, and particularly after, Bifur had an almost undwarvish interest in peoples and cultures other than his own. Hobbits particularly seemed suited to Bifur's kind nature and his interest in things that chirped, hopped, spoke, and grew. Bofur wrote he was certain the hobbit in question was already "head over furry feet" in love with Bifur. 

Bifur was due some joy, relief, and love in his life and Bombur prayed Bifur would endure so it could all be realized. The days until he heard from (or, worse, on behalf of) Bifur were going to be hard ones for him to bear.

*****

Some time had passed, tea and scones had been consumed, and Balin now knew substantially more about hobbit weddings than before. He was incredibly sorry he missed what sounded like a delightful series of parties, topped by the opulent granddaddy of them all.

"So neither Nori nor Ori returned with you," noted Balin when his wedding questions had been satisfied. "These are very exciting times for Erebor. Frankly, knowing them, I'm surprised they would want to be anywhere else. What drew their attention away from the mountain?"  
"You know Ori has had a fascination with hobbits and the Shire since that first night in Bilbo's home so long ago, and it only grew sharper as we learned what a remarkable and contradictory creature Bilbo was," Dori tentatively explained. "Ori had been immensely eager to return there for Kili's wedding."  
"Aye, so he's staying to study the Shire?"  
"And hobbits," Óin chimed in cheekily. "Two in particular."  
Balin furrowed his brow. "Pardon?"  
Dori looked uncomfortable, but Óin patted his hand, saying, "It is going to come out sooner or later, and this is Balin besides. Telling our battle brother isn't the same as sending a crier through the whole of the mountain. Better our friends find out through you, anyhow."  
Balin noted the gentle gesture with curiosity, but pressed on. "Find out what?"  
Sighing heavily, Dori confessed, "Ori has stayed behind because he has fallen in love with, ah, with two hobbits. He is presently courting both."  
Balin's happy smile at the news rapidly faded to confusion. "He's in love with two hobbits? How does that--is he, is he courting to see which one best deserves his favor, then? That's...quite unorthodox."  
"I'm not sure what the outcome is to be, but I think he does not mean to choose," Dori said.  
"Does not mean to choose?" echoed Balin. "But how? It...forgive me, Dori, but it isn't done!"  
Óin stepped in to help. "It isn't done here, no, but it is not completely unheard of there. Not quite _usual_ , mind, but it does not seem to be causing as much of a scandal back West. You know from the whole mess with Bilbo, Thorin, and Kili that hobbits don't love the same as we do."  
"But Ori is a dwarf. Regardless of how hobbits love, how is he in love with two at once?"  
Dori sighed again, weary. "I've not been able to wrap myself around it either, Balin, but I've accepted he is grown and he has to do what he feels. Staying behind in the Shire to explore this possibility seems to be the result of that."  
"Apologies, Dori. I did not mean to interrogate you in the wake of this shock. You are not your brother, of course. It honestly is stunning news, you must understand."  
"If you think _that_ is a stunner, wait until you hear about Nori," Óin said, snorting.  
Balin glanced at Dori. "What of Nori?"

Dori put his face in his hands and slumped forward on the table, hitting it with a soft thud.

*****

With his reading caught up, Balin still gone, and no new knocks on his door, Thorin took advantage of the spare moments to start on more personal endeavors. He began by sketching out a rough outline for things he'd like to accomplish before Bilbo's arrival in the spring. The simple act of putting ink to paper to organize his plans made Thorin's lovesick soul instantly merrier. He wrote two letters for sending out with the next messenger--one for supplies and one requesting expertise--and then a handful of additional work orders for merchants and artisans in the mountain. By the time he was finished, he felt quite optimistic indeed.

*****

Balin did not know what to say about Nori taking up with an elf, so he said as little as possible. He hadn't made this visit to make Dori feel bad, after all. If anything, he should be trying to comfort him--one circumstance as described would be much for a family to bear, but both of them happening at once? His heart went out to Dori having to deal with his brothers' romantic eccentricities. Balin would have to think on it more later, on his own, after he had time to work through it in his mind. He did not doubt Ori, Nori, and their respective sweethearts would be attending the royal wedding and he would have to come up with the proper diplomacy to deal with it somehow. Inwardly, he could not help but tut in disapproval. Ori and Nori were two of The Fourteen, heroes of the dwarven kingdoms and reclaimers of Erebor--what _were_ they thinking?

Balin must have been quiet too long, as Dori was looking at him and growing visibly uncomfortable with each passing moment. Balin decided to ask after him personally, realizing belatedly he had done nearly everything but.

"So, how are you faring now that you are home?" he asked.  
"It is fine," Dori replied. "Though the place is a bit emptier than I'd gotten used to, to be honest."  
"I can imagine it might feel strange with your brothers elsewhere," Balin agreed.  
Dori replied, "Oh, you know one or the other was always off and doing, so it doesn't seem as strange as it might. Still, I've never had them both gone before. It did not quite hit me until I unpacked here at home that I've not lived alone...well, ever."

Dori met Óin's eyes and a soft smile was exchanged between them. 

Tenderly, Óin said, "No point in starting now, either."

Balin had never seen Dori nor Óin look at another dwarf so lovingly and adoringly. His curiosity grew.

"How do you mean?" he asked.  
"We've decided I'm moving in," Óin said, turning his attention to Balin. "Time someone fusses over _him_ for a change, don't you think?"

Balin was quite glad he had long since run out of tea, because he was sure he would have choked mid-sip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who is still here. I appreciate your time, your comments, your reblogs, and all the rest. Loves!


	29. High Spirits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Erebor updates featuring happy, horny Thorin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The deeper I get into the BOTFA EE appendices and whatnot, the more I feel the need to revisit earlier disclaimers--
> 
> This fic is based heavily on the events of the first Jackson Hobbit film and the remainder of Tolkien's text from The Hobbit from the dungeon onward, plus a whole lot of "what ifs" based on the choices of the characters in romantic relationships as time goes on. Obviously, from the second Jackson movie onward, things varied from what I originally used as source text, some of it being wholly unrecognizable by Jackson movie 3...to say nothing of this being an "Everybody lives!" BOTFA fix-it. While there will be recognizable easter eggs here and there that came from movies released while I was writing, I continued onward with the common history stemming mostly from the time frame I started this fic, namely when only Unexpected Journey had been released. Because those original gaps were supplemented by The Hobbit text (notably past the Carrock) instead of additional films, Lake Town was not bitterly impoverished in this version, there was minimal Legolas, Bard was different, Beorn was much more boisterous with his friends (movie Beorn would sooner slice off his tongue than utter the phrase "little bunny"), there was no separation of dwarrows between Erebor and Lake Town, no Tauriel at all, etc. I had set Bilbo and Kili up with the acorn thing before Jackson gave his lovely subplot to Bilbo and Thorin, so Kilbo's tender acorn associations are not meant in anyway to be stolen from Thorin and Bilbo or to cheapen what Jackson did. They exist purely separate from and I have the time stamps to prove it! 
> 
> SO, please, bear those things in mind when you read...especially when the characters develop past what you might have seen as their personalities/futures based on Jackson's telling of DoS onward. 
> 
> Kili and Thorin and Fili and Bofur and Bilbo are all still sexy as fuck as they were in the films, though <3 Keep on imagining THAT, my friends!

Thorin took his evening meal with friends and kin, honestly enjoying his food for the first time since the Shire provisions ran out. Having wine increased his mood, too, and he was trading barbs with Dain, Dís, and Dwalin as he hadn't in a long while. He did not stay for any of the post-meal entertainment, though. Another couple details had occurred to him at dinner and he wanted to add them to his notes. 

Back in his room, wine and food both warming his middles, Thorin withdrew Bilbo's blanket from its hiding place. Removing his clothes, he climbed into bed and arranged the blanket by his head so he was surrounded by the smell. He had been far too sad the night before (and too disappointed that morning) to contemplate pleasure, but with the change of his mood over the course of the day also came the sharp realization of need. He took himself in hand for the first time since Rivendell. The sensation of being touched again, even by merely himself, ignited the receptors in his skin and sent pleasure racing in all directions. He nearly finished before the silkiness of dry skin on skin had the chance to grow damp and drag--but only nearly. Impatiently, he licked his palm, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose from the increased thrill of a wetter slide. The scent of Bilbo from the blanket sent him spiraling further, and he had barely conjured the image of his lover naked and moaning for him before he was spilling with a grunt on his own stomach. 

Breathing rapidly as he came down from his peak, he thought to himself that his room might need an oil dish as well. He would get fair enough use out of wanking with a better slick than his own saliva between now and Bilbo's arrival and after...

 _Well,_ he thought, smiling into the dark, _there will be plenty of need for it when Bilbo warms my bed_.

*****

The next day was more the sort of day to which Thorin had grown accustomed before he departed for the Shire: one filled with meetings, news, and various people needing the royal ear. Dís was in full attendance from breakfast onward and Thorin appreciated her presence more than he had imagined--though he already knew he was going to be grateful for her to begin with.

Council convened after lunch. Dain introduced Thorin to Regnad and Nabbi of the Iron Hills, the two members he had not yet met. 

Regnad was younger, but not awfully so--Thorin guessed him at roughly Bofur's age. He had deep auburn hair, an immaculately groomed beard, and carried himself with particular confidence, as though whomever was graced with his presence was lucky indeed. He was articulate and well-versed in the etiquette of formal tradition, if not a bit too courtly for Thorin's more down-to-earth taste. 

Nabbi seemed to Thorin like someone had blended Balin and Glóin into a single dwarf. Brightly red-haired like Glóin, he was also close to the same age and had a similarly gruff manner of speaking. His words themselves, though, put him in mind of the shrewd and thoughtful Balin, as did the full, forked beard he wore. Appropriately professional yet unpretentiously earthy, Thorin took a liking to him right away.

Dís jumped into the proceedings as though she had always been there. Thorin regarded her with respect and awe--she seemed well-suited to her office, indeed. As she took control of a debate on space allocations, Thorin sneaked a peek at Dwalin, who was gazing upon his intended, radiating with pride. Thorin's glance next landed on Balin and they shared a look, Balin nodding with impressed approval.

*****

Thorin had hoped to meet with his bedcrafters from Rivendell after the day's official duties were concluded, but Dís cornered him in his office with other business of her own.

"What do you mean you don't care?" she asked.  
Thorin sighed. "I mean, dear sister, I do not care which space you pick. We can renovate Dwalin's room to suit you, we can develop your guest suite into something grander as Balin and I had discussed before I left, or we can even get you one of the apartments on the level where the Dori, Bombur, Oin, and Glóin have decided they'd rather stay...though I would likely hire additional security if you and Dwalin choose that option so you would be as well guarded as we are up here."

Dís's face fell into a frustrated pout, a familiar one that had been working to tug Thorin's heartstrings for decades upon decades.

Tenderly, he took her hands. "This is where you live now, Dís. I want you to be happy. Dwalin wants you to be happy. You do not need me to tell you how to make it your home. There are suites at your disposal in the royal wing that have done nothing but sat empty, just waiting for you to bring one to life. You have as much authority here as I do about such things and we do not have to worry about money ever again. All I ask is for you to tell me where it is you've selected to put your roots so I can make my own plans for the other rooms, or hire more security if you think you'd be happier elsewhere in the mountain."  
"But Thorin, don't you understand? I _want_ you to help me pick it out. Dwalin only cares that I am there and that is where he has said his interest ends. I've been looking forward to settling in here for so long--it is more enjoyable to have someone with whom to help pick it, with whom to bandy around ideas. If not Dwalin, then I want it to be you."  
"You'll enjoy it more if I walk the rooms with you and help you pick?"  
Dís nodded. "And brainstorm with me what to do with it once I find it."

Thorin had been especially eager to get started on his own plans, but he had a difficult time saying no to this request. It seemed so important to her to have a co-conspirator and Thorin knew she spoke true about Dwalin. Though Dwalin was not a brute who dismissed the importance of design, he had told Thorin himself Dís was on her own to do anything she wanted to do to nest with him, so shocked he still was that she wanted to do it at all. They had both thought Dís creating her own vision would please her; neither Dwalin nor Thorin realized it might be a disappointment for Dís to be left doing the selecting, designing, and shopping all alone. 

"Okay, I'll help, but on one condition," he said.  
"What's that?"  
"You set your prejudices aside and commission an elvish bed--after mine is done, of course."  
Dís grinned widely. "You forget, I slept in Rivendell, too. I hold no such prejudices about their talents in that regard!"

*****

Surprisingly and happily, it was quite a joy for Thorin--in spite of the inevitable sibling squabbling--to be involved in Dís's planning. In fact, it was so entertaining that he decided to involve her in some of his, too. Over their spare time in the following week, they selected suites for the princes (Dís rather hoping they might choose to stay in them for good) and talked about the changes that needed to be made to make them more comfortable and luxurious. Next, they discussed tentative guest quarters to be renovated for the more esteemed wedding guests, particularly the ones who might need larger accommodation. Thorin was relieved that Dís's dwarvish grudges did not outweigh her pride--she quite agreed they would not be shown up by Elves nor Men when it came to hospitality...especially at _her_ wedding! They even spent some time sketching out plans to remodel one of the lower level apartments to fully accommodate Beorn's size for what Thorin hoped would be more regular visits in the future.

Thorin had a difficult time not confessing why he found such joy in enlarging and elaborating on his personal space as well as the suites they selected for Kili, Bilbo, Fili, and Bofur. He stopped just short of requesting the door he wanted to install to adjoin Kili and Bilbo's space to his, in fact, so he _wouldn't_ have to have an incredibly difficult conversation. As it was, Dís seemed quite puzzled as to why Thorin wanted them so close, anyway, citing the inherent heartache such a thing was bound to produce. 

Thorin also couldn't tell Dís his interest in renewing his own quarters after all this time was largely because he expected Bilbo to half live in them while he was in the mountain. Thorin would never have instigated such opulent changes for himself, king or not, but for Bilbo there was nothing too extravagant...nor, indeed, for Fili and Kili, whom he insisted deserved the most royal accommodation possible.

*****

Dís was only too happy to join Thorin in plans to pamper her sons. Because Thorin had always been the type to care more for the comfort of others than himself and (outside the dragon sickness) had never been much for flaunting his abundance, she expected to also have to prod him into spending time and care on his own space, which she felt was not currently kingly enough. Instead, he shocked her quite keenly with his interest in remodeling his suite in both size and luxury. By Durin, he seemed _happy_ \--she even caught him giggling to himself once or twice.

*****

Based on Thorin's and Dís's lists alone, the Rivendellian mattress makers found themselves already with weeks of orders. If many more of the dwarrows decided they wanted their own, requests for additional artisans would need to be sent back West...or new apprentices hired. After all, there were some dwarrows arriving in Erebor without existing trades and folks in the new Dale forced to start their lives anew.

*****

Thorin found a revived joy in daydreaming. Of course, he used to pine when he was in Erebor without Bilbo, and he certainly missed Bilbo on the way home when he had only the leagues increasing between them and his thoughts, but now--here--it was different. He had projects, he had a visit to which to look forward, and (at long last) he had Bilbo's vows. He was buoyed on a renewed sense of hope and the thought of Bilbo returning to Erebor, even if it was only for a little while.

Sighing happily, he thought of Bilbo on the new mattress, surrounded in plush linens, his eyes shining in the glow of the-

"Thorin," Balin said, sounding rather insistent. "Thorin, are you listening to me?"  
Thorin tried to cover it. "Oh, erm, of course."  
"What did I just say?"  
"Ah, yes...well, something, something, something about homes for the new settlers?"

A tilt of Balin's head a stern look told Thorin that was decidedly _not_ what Balin had just said. He was caught out.

Asked Balin, "Where were you just now?"  
"Thinking about the work order I put in for a change in my suite. I do apologize." Thorin reasoned it was sort of true, as that's where he was picturing Bilbo.  
Eyeing him curiously, Balin asked, "When did you do that?"  
"When I was helping Dís."  
"Why didn't you say that's where your mind was in the first place? We can finish up if you've got something to do--this isn't urgent business."  
"No, no. I was simply distracted by thinking about what it will be like when it is done."  
Balin smiled. "I've got to say I like this, Thorin. Haven't I been saying for months you should be living in kinglier quarters? A little luxury after what you've been through would not be looked poorly upon by anyone."

*****

In addition to Thorin's improved mood came the resurgence of his libido. Two to three times a day, he had a hand down his trousers or was naked on his bed, remembering all the ways he and Bilbo had made love in the past...and contemplating what it was going to be like to have the Prince Consort at last in Erebor! He saved the latter for when he wanted to hasten his orgasm, because it always got him there fast. Not since his last days in Bag End (or reaching his maturity) had Thorin been so...prolific.

*****

Balin noted a rhythm finally setting in after that first week of Thorin's return to the mountain, though the changes were still quite perplexing: Dwalin engaged to be married to Dís after decades of fruitless pining, Ori taking up with a pair of hobbits, Nori courting an elf, Óin and Dori returning as a couple, Bifur not returning at all, and now Thorin as happy as Balin had seen him since Lake Town. What in Durin's name had truly _happened_ at that bloody wedding, anyway?

Still, regardless of the mysteries, Balin was incredibly relieved Thorin was interested in things like his rooms (or _anything_ for that matter) after the moping he did over Bilbo. Thorin had been a husk during those sad weeks, doing his duty and little more, spending all his time on the Overlook and staring into nothing. This was a vast, delightful improvement. However, Dwalin did not seem to share Balin's elation. Balin had cornered Dwalin after twice catching Thorin lost in his own mind, a queer smile on the king's lips each time.

_"What is going on with him?" Balin asked. "He's getting along with everyone! He takes his meals with the rest of us in the main dining hall! He's_ decorating _, for Durin's sake!"_  
_Dwalin only grunted._  
_Pressing, Balin said, "You're the only one who isn't watching him with looks of curious glee as he virtually floats about the halls these days. As you are one who knows him best, I find that terribly concerning. I care about him, too, so please, be forthright with me. What do you know that keeps you from sharing in his joy?"_  
_"I told you before, I don't presume to know his mind," Dwalin replied. "But we both know he is neither done with nor over Bilbo; this good humor will not endure. There's no way it is possible to last as long as he reserves his heart for the hobbit. That is why I do not share his joy, Balin. I foresee a bitter end to it."_

Balin smoothed his beard, recalling the small, familiar wooden bead (the one Thorin obviously believed he had kept well-hidden these past several days) in a braid under the rest of the king's hair. Thorin wearing it was testament alone that Dwalin had spoken truly of Thorin not fully letting Bilbo go after the wedding. Still, Dwalin did not claim to know what it was that had Thorin so hopeful and happy these days to articulately dispute it, other than guesses and premonitions of the mood turning to eventual heartache. Balin reasoned that whatever put Thorin on such an uptick had to be good...hadn't it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you still with me, I thank you immensely.


	30. Détente Trente

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur pries into Fili's past to get the story on Fili and Kili...and everybody drinks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have planned a smut chapter for this one so I could call it Dirty Thirty. Oh well...maybe in Part 5 :P

Cushioned by their respective fur cloaks draped over the floor, Bofur and Fili held each other. In the quiet, the only sounds were their breathing and the crackling of the hearthfire--a full change from the frenzied gasping and desperate moans that preceded it.

Fili shifted to look into Bofur's eyes.

"I, uh, I suppose I'm overdue for an apology," he said.  
"Fee, I don't know how else to tell you I'm so terribly sorry, but I'll keep trying if you-"  
"-Not you giving me one. I mean me. I owe _you_ an apology."  
"How do you figure?"  
"For Bilbo."  
"Fee..." protested Bofur.  
"No, I do," Fili said, sitting up. "We only resolved part of our argument before we undressed each other."  
Bofur sat up with him, taking his hand. "Aye, the most important part. Not losing you is all that matters to me."  
"You were right, though. I-I _did_ take Bilbo aside to spite you, to use your argument against you, to prove..."  
"Prove what, Fee?"  
"To prove I'm more than nothing to him."  
"Valar's sake, did I say that?" Bofur shook his head. "If I said that, I certainly didn't mean it, and if you did it to spite me, well, can't say I didn't deserve it after ignoring you as I did."  
"You didn't deserve it, though. Acting out against you was not the proper way to deal with I was feeling, nor was using Bilbo against you. Bo, my mind hasn't been right lately, either, and I've made poor decisions of my own when it comes to our future together. I'm sorry."  
"I'm sorry, too, and still. Please, Fee."  
"I forgive you. I want you to forgive me, too."  
"Of course I do! That's why I came here, that's why we're naked, and that's why we're still getting married in less than a month."

Fili moved forward to kiss Bofur, quickly finding himself tugged back down to the fur with his lover. Their impassioned embrace was neither chaste nor demanding--they reveled in simply being together after the bitterness of their argument. This time, it was Bofur who paused the tender moment to speak.

"I don't want to start back to quarreling again, I swear I don't, but something you said is bothering me something fierce. I remember our talk about private liaisons, but when did I tell you that you did not mean anything to Bilbo?"  
"You didn't...didn't say those exact words. It was more of an implication and--gods, let's just let it go, Bo, I beg you. Obviously, we've both said hurtful things during this misunderstanding."  
"It struck a dissonant chord with you, though...an _awfully_ dissonant one if you went to such lengths to prove me wrong."  
"Maybe it was more that I needed to prove it to myself," Fili said quietly.

*****

Bilbo made his way back up the hill, each breath puffing out visible mists in the cold air. The only things that could have lured him from his warm, lovely, lazy afternoon bed with Kili were the letters he needed to send off with the scout (who was leaving Hobbiton that very evening) or the needs of his stomach. Unfortunately, both became pressing matters as the day wore on, so Bilbo had to go out and about. Kili offered to stay behind to take care of their next meal while Bilbo raced to mail their stack of very important letters. Now that Bilbo's task had been handled, he was _quite_ eager to address that second issue.

"It is too chilly a day to have such a bounce in one's walk, Bilbo Baggins!" one of his neighbors said as he passed them on the path.

 _Do I have a bounce_ , Bilbo wondered? Even as the thought occurred, his face spread in an uncontrollable grin as he thought about his day thus far. He had been anxious for some time to get his words of love on their way to Thorin, and now he could rest assured their comfort was finally on the road to Erebor. Kili...well, Kili was always a delight, in bed and out. The real surprise of the day had been Fili, though. Bilbo would not have guessed it would have unfolded as it had, nor would he have expected the gentle revelations that had been waiting to be discovered.

His smile stayed with him all the way to Bag End.

*****

Bofur stood, realizing rapidly that it was much colder to be naked in the open air than it was on the fur cloaks, wrapped up in a warm lover. He shrugged on his tunic.

"All this sex and emotional talk has made me thirsty. What have we got in?"  
Fili frowned. "We...uh, not much. The water runs but I haven't thought to stock the place with cups, much less tea, wine, or ale yet."  
"That's my Fee--you remembered to stash oil here, but nothing to drink." Bofur laughed heartily. "Good thing the 'Dragon isn't too far away, then. I'm a little bit of starving, too," he added.

*****

Bilbo had suggested wine to go with the delicious dinner Kili made. Kili suggested a little more for their dessert, then Bilbo suggested more still.

*****

Fili and Bofur had their favored corner table at the Green Dragon. It was a quiet evening there, affording Fili and Bofur an unusual amount of privacy for what was normally a bustling public house. They were free to eat and drank past sundown, enjoying each other's company with minimal interruption. Fili mused they hadn't talked this much (especially without a fight) in _days_ , and the more they drank, the deeper their conversations grew until eventually, Bofur asked--

"Had you ever suspected this thing between you and Kee?" 

Fili shook his head and emptied his drink.

"Not when you were young?" Bofur pressed. "Or _younger_ , I s'pose."

Setting the tankard down, Fili wiped his mustache. He shook his head again.

"Not at all. From the beginning, we were unusually close for siblings separated between years in the womb."  
"Aye," Bofur agreed amiably. "So you've said."  
"It started nearly the moment he came into the world." Fili smiled, fondly recalling the memory. "About a week after he was born, Mam gave up trying to have him sleep in their room and set him up in mine instead because it was the only way he would calm enough for the household to get any rest. Once he got old enough to follow me, he cried pitifully if I left the house without him. He wanted to be everywhere I was. Our parents tried to break him of it, particularly as we got older."  
"What of you?"  
"Aside from the sprouting pains here and there where I tested my independence, it was pretty safe to say I wanted him around every bit as much as he wanted to be around. Looking back, I can recall being cross or feeling out of sorts inside when I was sent off to do chores or run errands by myself, though until a certain point I had never made the connection _why_."  
Bofur hummed curiously. "What certain point was that?"  
"My first hunting trip with Thorin and Dwalin. Well, now that I think about it, it was more like my first hunting _assistant_ trip. I was only to be there to help, observe, and learn, but when I was told I was going, I had never felt more grown. At that point, I was yet far below my coming of age, though I had already had years of lessons drilled into my head--book learning, royal niceties, history, that sort of stuff. This, however, _this_ was going to be different. Being out in the wild with an actual hunting party felt more useful--it was something I was doing, not simply something I memorized out of a book--and being allowed to go with so many dwarves I admired made me feel important. I'd proudly looked forward to it for days. I must have packed and unpacked a dozen times just for practice. I couldn't wait to prove myself for them, _to_ them. Our folks thought it would do Kee and me good, too, to learn to how to spend time apart. Not just apart in the house--which had stopped being a problem when the house ceased being Kee's entire world--but truly apart from each other."  
Bofur listened, rapt. "How did it work out?"  
"Though initially thrilled by the newness, an uneasiness grew within me from the moment we left the limits of town. Miserably lonely for him, I would cry myself to sleep at night. A few days into our excursion, any excitement I had once felt left me completely. Our separation had become so unbearable, I was readying to cast the whole of my reputation aside and beg to go back when another dwarf rode up. He had been seeking us, specifically, having been sent to take me home immediately."  
"Cor! For Kee?"  
Fili nodded solemnly. "He wept the first day I was gone and went silent after, not speaking save to ask for me. He stopped eating and drinking. Had I stayed to finish the hunt for the planned duration, I would have buried my brother upon my return home."

Bofur clasped his hand over his mouth in surprise.

"As it was," continued Fili, "It took him a couple weeks to undo the damage he did to himself, with me scolding him the whole time."  
"I'll bet Dís did her fair share of scolding, too. What did she make of it?"  
"I never knew, really. I was still too young to be privy to those conversations, but I'm sure you remember how it was--you know _something_ is going on in those hushed tones, even if you don't know what it is."  
"Aye."  
"If our unusual closeness hadn't unsettled the family before, they certainly were unsettled by then."

Bofur drained his cup, raising it over his head with a wiggle to signal the barkeep.

"How have I never heard that story before?" asked Bofur.  
Shrugging, Fili replied, "I do not enjoy telling it very often."  
"I s'pose not. Did your kin continue to interfere or did the, erm, _incident_ sway them?"  
Exhaling, Fili recalled, "When we were older (but a few years before I officially came of age), it was decided we no longer needed to share a room. I don't remember now who decided it, but it was deemed important enough for the whole house to go through the chaos of shifting to make it happen. We hated it, though, and Kee often crept out of his room to sleep in my bed, or I'd sneak from mine to sleep in his. Still--and it probably seems odd to you to hear now given what you've seen--it was completely innocent. Even when I discovered my body's urges, it was never Kee who stirred them. For his part, Kee kept pretty private about his, too. I would always know the nights he was feeling the pull of nature because I slept alone."  
"You were able to handle being apart by then, though."

Their conversation was interrupted by the barkeep dropping off two more mugs and clearing the old ones. Fili held his new, full drink aloft in thanks and helped himself to a long pull as the barkeep bustled away with the empties. 

"We had grown out of the worst of it, of course," continued Fili, "although we always preferred to go scouting in pairs when we could and we were still sneaking into each others beds for chaste comfort even at the start of the journey to Erebor."  
"No jealousy when your brother started feeling things for Bee?"  
"Not a scrap. I was so happy he found someone to love and to love him in return. I've certainly had my share of cross feelings for Bee, but they were because he needed to do right by Kee, not because I was envious. I tried to give them privacy as much as possible."  
"But then...how did it shift from that to this?"  
Hedged Fili, "Well, I would imagine you know the rest, seeing as you were there to witness the way it evolved from Beorn's onward."

Bofur looked at Fili, knowingly, with his eye brows raised. 

Sighing in defeat, Fili admitted, "It was Thorin."  
"Really? Thorin is what did it?"

Fili put his face in his hands, embarrassed, bobbing his head. 

"Bless me! I knew you didn't like it, but I thought you were jealous from what you had already felt. I didn't realize he was the instigator."  
Letting his hands slump down, Fili drew another deep breath. "I'll never be able to explain it, but Kee crossing that line was radical, fateful, abominable, brave--so many things--and I was furious it was for Thorin. _Thorin_!" 

Fili's fist hit the table, drawing stares from a small handful of hobbits. He glanced around in sheepish apology before continuing, leaning over the table to speak even more intimately.

"Something deep within me felt terribly threatened--if Kee was going to do the forbidden, by all rights, it wasn't going to be without me. It was only after we did such things as to horrify our ancestors that I finally figured out--after all these years--why we had always been so close."  
Bofur nodded sagely. "Neither one of you knew how to deal with such a strong pull when you were young, so it manifested in those other episodes."  
"It had never been sexual, though, not until we...well, until we woke it up, I suppose."

Glancing around again, Fili lowered his voice further.

"When we agreed it was better for us to only revel in it occasionally, I felt such relief he did not put up a fuss. It was fine for a while, with me calling the shots on where and when, but Kee--you _know_ how he is--managed a little more, and then a little more still. It sounds silly to admit to myself even when I'm sober, but keeping at least some of my body to myself is the last shred of control I have in this situation. I'm _afraid_ , Bo, afraid of how it has already felt, never mind of what it might be like when I let go."  
Bofur put his hand on Fili's. "Aye, but you were afraid with me, too, and that fear has been proven unfounded."  
"I know," replied Fili, glancing down.  
"Well, were you afraid with Bee?"  
"Not nearly afraid enough, and now look where that's got me."

Bofur inhaled a thoughtful breath and nodded, though he wasn't sure with what he was commiserating. He was feeling the effects of his drink and his mind wasn't properly focusing.

"So, where does that leave you and me moving into our own place?"

Confused and feeling his drink himself, Fili blinked several times, but caught up to Bofur's backtracking.

"Though I've never quite been able to bear the thought of being leagues away from him to live, I needn't share a bedroom with him to be happy. I've felt sad a few times, though, thinking of leaving Bag End. I've admitted as much to you."  
"Aye, and sometimes the thought of it saddens me as well, but then we have times like today."

Fili didn't know if Bofur was referring to their lovemaking in their own home, or if he meant the discord that preceded it. The conversation moved on to lighter things before he had a chance to ask and soon, it skipped his pleasantly fuzzy mind altogether.

*****

Fili and Bofur shuffled home from too many celebratory ales to find Bilbo and Kili in the master bedroom with the door wide open: happy, naked, and (judging from the empty wine bottles) deep in their cups themselves. Fili surmised that Bilbo and Kili were a few shades more advanced in their inebriation. With Fili and Bofur not doing the best job of being quiet in their own states, Bilbo spotted them right away.

"There you are!" Bilbo said a bit too loudly, all joyful, shining eyes and flushed cheeks. "Oh, Kee! This makes the night perfect!"

Kili and Bilbo both stumble-bounced over to Fili and Bofur, respectively, with welcoming hugs and hands determined to relieve them of their garments. 

Earlier, Fili and Bofur had agreed the recent disharmony did not mean an end to future playtimes...though neither had expected the subject to be tested that very night. In fact, Fili wasn't entirely sure his cock could rally after the day it had already had. Kili pushed Fili's trousers to the floor, rubbing his naked body against him while Bilbo licked at Fili's neck.

 _Okay, so it does still work,_ Fili thought.

Fili shot a questioning look at Bofur and received eyebrows raised with a query of their own. Too much had happened these past few days and Fili was not in the right frame of mind to jump back into sharing beds when he was yet raw. However, the alcohol and the headiness of feeling so completely _wanted_ made Fili side with his body and not his brain. Bofur seemed to be in a similar place, though Fili noted through the haze of ale that Bofur resisted giving in until he could see whether Fili was planning to give in himself. They shared a look, a kiss, and a nod, silently agreeing to allow themselves a night of fun to blot out (however temporarily) the unpleasantness that came before it.

"I do not know whom to kiss first," said Bilbo, brightly. "Should all hobbits be as lucky as me!"  
"Perhaps it is we who are the lucky ones," Fili replied.

Fili was shocked to hear his voice reach his own ears. He was sure he had only thought it.

Bofur pressed his lips to Fili's ear as his hand roamed below his waist. "Aye, lucky indeed."


	31. Deep In Their Cups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk sexy times & feels

Fili rocked on his hands and knees with the slow beat of Bofur's cock rolling in and out of him. Minutes earlier, Kili had eagerly--if a little wobbily--wanted to help stretch Fili for Bofur's taking. Though tempting, the reservations Fili had confessed to Bofur at The Green Dragon were still there--and he thankfully still had enough of his wits about him to realize it. Fili artfully deflected Kili...or at least he had thought it was artfully. Klli had petulantly moved on, chugging the rest of his wine straight from the bottle before turning his attention to Bilbo. 

A touch on Fili's shoulder drew him from his trance and, next thing he knew, he was being urged up on his knees with Bilbo at his front. Fili glanced over Bilbo's shoulder to see Kili behind. Kili seemed happy enough to be touching Bilbo, but when their eyes met, Kili's face fell into one of his famous pouts, showing his obvious displeasure with Fili. There was little time for Fili to explore his remorse, though, not with Bilbo pressed against him with roaming hands.

Bilbo knew with Fili's thighs spread and Bofur inside, Fili could not depend on his own power to keep him upright. He was more than willing to do his part to hold him up in order to get the access he wanted to Fili's body. He glanced backward to give Kili a silent signal before returning his attention to the delectable task at hand. In the midst of sucking a mark into Fili's neck, Bilbo felt the slick of Kili's fingers inside him and groaned blissfully. His hand smoothed down the soft, golden hair on Fili's chest and stomach until it reached his cock. He teased it with a couple soft strokes, humming in satisfaction when Fili gasped a reaction. Nearly Fili's height with the way Bofur had him positioned, Bilbo kissed up his neck and pressed his lips near his ear.

"Fili," Bilbo whispered.

Fili shuddered.

Releasing Fili's cock, Bilbo kept his mouth by Fili's ear as he raised his hand.

"Wet it."

Fili shuddered again, though he firmly grasped Bilbo's wrist and licked the palm as he was told. His eyes lingered on the tattoo of his name until it lowered out of sight. Immediately after, a slick grip moved up and down his shaft.

Bilbo let his head drop to Fili's shoulder, breathing heavily. He was drunk all around: Kili stretched him, Fili quivered under his touch, Bofur rocked them as he fucked his Chosen--all while Bilbo's head swam pleasantly in a sea of wine. He lifted his chin and locked eyes with Bofur, undoubtedly more desirable than a dwarf had a right to be with his dark eyes, flushed skin, and undulating body. Licking his lips, Bilbo peered as best he could down Fili's back, watching Bofur's cock disappear into Fili as he moved, wondering how it must feel for one, the other, or both of them. Bilbo wet his own palm the second time it needed lubrication, going right back to his task. Fili moaned throatily into Bilbo's ear and it was _thrilling_.

Fili could scarcely believe he was in the midst of chasing another orgasm that day, though he enjoyed the attention far too much to bother anticipating the next day's inevitable soreness. With Bilbo's shift, Fili could see the hobbit was clearly feeling the effects of his drink: gaze going in and out of focus, coordination doing the same, and though Bilbo might have lacked his usual eloquence, his tongue was wickedly loose. 

"You're...ah, you're so lovely. What a beauty you are, Fee," Bilbo proclaimed. "And moreso when you're being taken, and Bo is so lovely when he's doing it, doing _you_."

Fili felt pleasantly hazy, free from the worry and darkness that had been clouding his thoughts in recent days. It was glorious to allow himself to enjoy such praise and roll with the pleasure.

"But you know what I'd really love? I--" drunk Bilbo giggled conspiratorially, "I wanna fuck him, Fee. I wanna fuck your Bo."

Fili had wondered about Bilbo's own intentions after Bofur's confession, though he had spent more of the days leading up to it worrying far more about Bofur wanting it from Bilbo. Now, here, stripped of pretense with Bilbo masterfully handling his cock, Fili was too into the moment to allow unease. He considered only the implications of additional pleasures between the four of them, which served to arouse him further.

"I-I think I might want you to fuck him," he stuttered.  
"Valar save me," Bofur groaned, stroking faster.

Bilbo exhaled sharply, as though Fili's words were welcome relief.

"Yes, oh yes," he encouraged. "I want, I want, I _need_ to have him at the same time he's having you--pushing into him, all the while making you feel it. I want you to come from my stroke."  
"Keep this up and I will," Fili gasped.  
Bilbo slowed his rhythm on Fili's cock. "Not this one, silly."  
Fili moaned Bilbo's name.  
Licking his lips impishly, Bilbo said, "And when I'm done fucking him do you know what I want next?"  
Fili grunted in response.  
"I want _him_ to fuck _me_."  
"Oh gods, oh fuck," wailed Bofur.  
"With you inside him," purred Bilbo. "I want you to fuck me with his beast of a cock, Fee."  
"I can't hold on!" Bofur shouted, coming moments later.

When he felt as though he had control of his body again, Bofur eased out of Fili to give him a better opportunity to hold himself up, though he remained pressed against his back. 

With the rush of Bofur's bond coursing through his body, Fili rapidly approached his climax, his head a maelstrom of churning, obscene thoughts urging him there closer and closer.

He begged, "Don't stop, Bee. Fuck, don't-"

Bilbo did stop, though, abruptly pulled back by Kili who was quite impatient by now to get his own, too inebriated to be polite, and perhaps feeling a little vindictive towards Fili besides. Bilbo spun to face him, his lips quickly being claimed with passionate urgency. Kili nudged him to turn around as he was before, his back to Kili's chest.

"I need...I need--oh Bee, _you'll_ let me in, won't you?" Kili pleaded.  
Shivering in lovely anticipation, Bilbo replied, "Always."

Kili tumbled them down against the bed to better steady them both.

"Wanna hold you, just like this," he said.

Gasping from the abrupt loss, Fili blinked the clarity back to his vision in time to witness Kili's ardent display. Bofur's fingers cradled Fili's at the throat, urging him back for a filthy kiss. The other hand trailed around Fili's hip to finish what had been interrupted. Fili stayed him by the wrist.

"W-wait," he breathed.  
Replied Bofur, "If you wish."

Fili held Bofur's his hand against his stomach, staring unabashedly at the couple before them as they made love. He wanted to join them--his cock still wet and aching from the denial moments before--though he held back. 

Kili moved with Bilbo. His lips pressed against his skin while he whispered what Bilbo assumed were devotions, the language on his tongue mixed, as both Kili and Thorin were both wont to do when overcome by pleasure or feelings. In between the unrecognizable Khuzdul phrases, Bilbo could make out the words "trust" and "love."

Feeling Fili's muscles twitch tensely under his hand, it was not a far stretch of Bofur's mind to figure out Fili dearly wanted to be a part of this experience. Fili denying Bofur's offer to get him off after Bilbo's unceremonious interruption was further proof Fili had been holding out at least a small hope to come another way. Bofur had no doubt Fili's own reticence to give into his deeper desires--and the rare disharmony it dusted up with Kili minutes before--were the things keeping him rooted to the spot. However, it was obvious Fili was near-vibrating out of his skin with pent-up want. All he needed, Bofur supposed, was a nudge in the proper direction.

"Go to him," Bofur murmured to Fili. 

Fili glanced back, momentarily unsure. Bofur gave him a deep, encouraging nod. Fili kissed him before crawling over to the other side of the couple, carefully settling behind Kili. He keenly hoped his earlier offense would not lead to his rejection now, though Kili's body was as a song in motion and Fili's arousal rapidly outpaced his worry. Fili risked stroking a hand up Kili's thigh, brushing his fingers along his flexing backside.

Kili shook his head--still angry Fili hadn't let him touch and annoyed with himself that he still wanted Fili to touch _him_.

"Should I stop?" asked Fili quietly, much closer to his ear than Kili had realized.

Kili shook his head harder, swallowing around the lump that either alcohol or emotion had placed in his throat.

Fili arched his arm over his head. He was glad Kili chose this direction to tumble, because he could only just reach the oil from here. Between Kili's movement and (perhaps) a light lack of coordination himself, Fili slicked the whole of Kili's buttock instead of his intended target. An answering moan from Kili gave him inspiration; the second time he slicked it, it was purposeful and with more oil. He reached back a third time. Pressing his body against Kili, he rocked his erection against Kili's glazed flesh and could not help moaning himself. He slipped his thumb between Kili's crevice, softly slicking against the entrance. Kili whimpered.

Nudging against Kili's neck, Fili murmured, "Do you want?"

Kili nodded, too embarrassed by his need to ask for it aloud. He bit into Bilbo's shoulder when he felt the breach. Light-headed and especially vulnerable, Kili struggled to gain some measure of control, finding it in the rhythm. Fili's body moved against him as Kili rocked into Bilbo, adding only pressure (oh, such delicious pressure!) where he was inside him. Kili squeezed his eyes shut in rapture, wishing Fili could let himself feel the dual joy of fucking while being stimulated so. His filthy thoughts faltered when he realized Fili _would_ allow it--just not from him. He forced the hurtful thoughts away, choosing to focus instead on the soft, dreamy sounds Fili was panting next to his flesh and how they stirred him to the root.

Bilbo knew something obscene was going on behind him from the stuttering of Kili's breath and the tremble in his stroke. Though a dash confused as to exactly what was going on, he hoped whatever it was would last. What Kili was doing--to say nothing of how he sounded--was absolutely delightful. 

As he had been the first to get his, Bofur thought he would be content to watch the erotic scene build to its conclusion, but Bilbo was far too enticing. There were only so many times he could watch Bilbo's tongue wet his lips before he _had_ to have a taste. Bilbo eagerly accepted this kiss, grinding against his body while their mouths moved together. 

Kili gripped Bilbo's hip to keep him in proper meter, giving it a fond tap when Bilbo whined in protest. Now was not the time for an erratic interruption of their flow. Though the volume of wine in Kili's blood had not softened his cock, it made his orgasm maddeningly, delightfully difficult to reach. Pleasured front and back, inside and out, it neither built nor ebbed. He undulated between two lovers, touching and being touched, seeking his body's complete deliverance yet only able to ride along the perimeter. It was exquisite.

"Per'aps there's something I can do," Bofur purred, shifting lower.  
Bilbo sucked in a breath when the heat closed around him. "That's--yes!" 

Fili was only dimly aware at what was going on at the front of their lewd chain of bodies. Inhaling the scent at the back of Kili's neck with every breath, feeling his warm, slick skin against his cock, the quickened thrum of Kil's heartbeat _around_ his thumb, Fili had no other focus. He wavered only when echoes of an added fervor reached him through Kili.

The hold Kili had on Bilbo did not alter the rhythm, but Bofur's mouth on Bilbo's cock led to other changes Kili couldn't ignore. Bilbo's moans and cries vibrated around his cock as his temperature inside changed in a way only perceptible by his lover. Kili's strokes increased, as did his own sounds, and Fili changed in return. Fili's intermittent pressure inside him was replaced by a shallow rubbing, snapping Kili from his beautiful, steady trance and sending him up a spiral of coiling, building tension. He could feel Fili rubbing into his backside, could hear the frantic pace of Fili's breathy moans, and he fucked Bilbo harder. The relay looped through the four of them in a cycle of erotic frenzy; the actions of one propelled them all.

Kili broke first, gasping and coming so hard it made his head ache. 

"Fuck, Kili," Fili drawled behind him. "Feels so-"

Fili couldn't find a word, punctuating his thought with a lascivious groan instead. He slipped his thumb from Kili's entrance, grasping his hip to grind against him. His hand was too slippery to hold well, and the friction against the swell of Kili's arse wasn't enough to finish him off. He ran his fingers through what was left of the oil there and pumped himself. 

Kili had softened quickly and he seemed to simply fall out of Bilbo. He could feel and hear Fili wanking behind him, unable to restrain a soft cry when he felt Fili's release splash hot against his flesh. Kili moaned again when Fili rubbed it in, wondering what his brother was thinking while he was doing it.

Feeling the loss of Kili inside him unusually fast (and blaming the drink), Bilbo was now free to move, chasing his pleasure along Bofur's tongue. The sounds of Fili's pleasure built and faded behind them, though Bilbo barely noted them. He had been surprised by Bofur tucking a finger inside his hole, using the lubrication of Kili's own come, fixedly prodding the hot spot Kili had woken while they fucked. Within moments, Bilbo climaxed deep in Bofur's mouth. When the pulsing ceased, Bofur met him with a deep kiss, sharing the last, lingering taste of himself. 

Bilbo turned his attention to Kili, intending to give him the post-sex tenderness he always seemed to crave. Instead, he found Kili cradled in Fili's arms, softly weeping and mumbling, Bilbo only able to make out the word "understand" from Kili's quiet, garbled speech. Appearing terribly affected himself, Fili kissed Kili's hair, murmuring back, "I'm sorry." Bilbo's first inclination was to comfort and hold Kili, though he bit back the impulse. He knew the brothers were working through some weighty issues together and as much as Bilbo wanted to be there for Kili, his instinct told him this moment benefited best from his absence. He looked to Bofur, who wore a soft expression as he took in the same scene. Bofur backed off the bed and Bilbo chose to follow his lead.

*****

By the time Bilbo and Bofur returned with damp flannels, Fili and Kili were no longer locked in their emotional clinch. Kili drowsily allowed Bilbo to clean him off and gave him a sleep-sloppy kiss. After Fili and Bofur saw to each other, Bilbo collected the flannels and left the room.

Kili climbed up and settled against Fili, insinuating himself in his embrace as he had done for decades. Fili marveled. As simple as that, they were brothers again. Shortly after, Bofur blew out the candle and joined Fili on the other side, snoring in moments. Fili had started to doze himself when Kili spoke.

"I don' unnerstan," Kili slurred again, quietly.

Fili blinked into the darkness, searching for something better this time than, "I'm sorry," to say in reply. 

Kili snuffled softly against Fili's chest, though he didn't speak again before he was breathing long, deep, and even.

*****

Bilbo was keyed up, not exhausted like the others. Instead of joining them in what had no doubt become an adorable cuddle pile, he went to his study. He had not realized he had been missed (nor how much time had passed) until he heard a voice.

"So, you've sneaked off on your own, have you?" Bofur said, entering the room.  
"Just until I feel drowsy, which is starting to happen, it seems."

Bilbo tapped the seat next to him in invitation; Bofur sat.

"How long have you been up by yourself?"  
"I never went to bed with the rest of you."  
"Well, but you _did_ ," Bofur said, waggling his eyebrows.  
"You know what I mean. I came in here thinking I'd write a note to Thorin, because I like to write him when I'm a little drunk--it loosens my pen."  
"You sent those today, though."  
"Right, which I realized before I got too far. I wound up writing a mash note to hide for Kili instead. He likes that sort of thing."  
"Aye, I would, too." Bofur rubbed his beard thoughtfully. "In fact, somehow--through the drink, perhaps--I'm only now realizing you and me, we got a bit turned around with the whole courting thing."  
"How do you mean?"  
"Well, you have piercings and we both have tattoos, which are pretty big shows of affection, but other than the sharing of songs and bodily fluids, we haven't done much by way of smaller, sweeter courting gifts."  
Bilbo sighed. "I suppose we did go about this more than a bit backwards, didn't we? No wonder you were so confused for so long. We've really jumbled up the order of things."

Bilbo seemed so wistful as he considered Bofur's point that Bofur pondered giving him the bead he had carved him. Before he gave into the impulse, however, Bofur thought better of it. Even through the ale, Bofur knew better than to make such a serious overture in the wake of the battle with Fili not even a full day ago. Instead, he poked Bilbo playfully. 

"Speaking of backwards, you are a right scoundrel."  
"Scoundrel? Me?" Never in Bilbo's born days had he knowingly been called a scoundrel. "What makes you say such a thing?"  
"For telling Fee you wanted to make love to me, that you wanted me to do the same to you! What if I had not told him we had discussed it yet?"

Bilbo's forehead pulled back in surprise. In his variously compromised state at the time, it had not crossed his mind it could have caused trouble at all. A beat went by before the further implication of Bofur's words settled on his brain. Bofur had previously been vague about how much Fili had known.

"Wait, so, so you _have_ told him?" he asked.  
Smiling shyly, Bofur said, "Aye."  
"Oh," Bilbo said, quirking a smile of his own in return. "And? What does he think?"  
"Results were ultimately inconclusive, but likely promising."  
"More than promising if tonight was any indication...unless he was only trying to wind me up."  
"It certainly worked on me. There was nothing I could do to keep from coming when the two of you started in."  
Hesitantly, Bilbo said, "Bo, I...I've talked to Kee, too."  
"You have?"  
"And--and Thorin."  
Bofur softly asked, "'That so?"  
"Yes, before he left."  
"How did that discussion come about?"

Bilbo explained the conversation Thorin had instigated with him and Kili about Bofur.

"Interesting. He saw this thing between us growing quite serious indeed, then, did he?" Bofur asked.  
"Possibly so. He did not want to be faced with any surprises and I can't say I blame him, given all I've put him through. Still, Bo, I promised him I would arrive in Erebor with only the bonds that existed the day he left. Once reunited in the mountain, had things changed the way he suspected they might have, we agreed we could look to it then when all affected souls were able to examine their feelings in the mutual open. I-I know I should have told you before, when we were confessing how far we might want this to go, but I didn't know then how to tell you all of it without hurting you. You were already so upset about my obliviousness."  
"I see."  
"Are you...cross?"  
"No, I'm--I don't know a word for what I am."  
Grumbled Bilbo, "That's not very reassuring."  
Bofur kissed his cheek. "More has gone into this thing between us than I had realized--and farther back than I would have guessed. Had I known all that when I was eating my heart out, it might have made things easier to bear. Still, I can also understand why you didn't blurt it all out. It gives me something more meaty to chew on, that's all."

Bilbo yawned so wide, Bofur thought the hobbit's jaw was in danger of unhinging.

"It will likely be dawn in a couple hours. It's well past time bedtime for hobbits. Dwarrows, too...or at the very least, this one."  
Yawning again, Bilbo replied, "I think it was past bedtime for hobbits at least an hour ago."

*****

Surprisingly, Fili and Bofur woke up with very little of the day-afters. Kili wasn't as lucky, having imbibed more than any of them. Bilbo only grumbled how much his head hurt. He rolled over, tugged a pillow over his eyes, and dozed off again--he had only slept a handful of hours.

"Why don't you all stay in bed?" Fili suggested. "I'll go see if we still have some of Óin's tea mix in."

*****

As Fili was glancing through Bilbo's tea stores, a soft voice behind him said, "Bee keeps it in the hutch cabinet with the remedies."  
Turning around, Fili said, "Kee, you should have stayed in bed a bit longer while I worked on the tea."  
Kili shrugged.

Fili rooted around in the hutch cabinet, pulling out the container and holding it up to show Kili.

"Well, I've found it. Go rest, now. I'll bring in a couple mugs for the two of you."  
Tugging a chair out of the dining room, Kili said, "I think I'd like to sit here while the water boils...if you do not mind?"

The soft uncertainty on Kili's face made Fili's heart ache. 

"Of course I don't mind."  
"Good," breathed Kili, smiling. 

Fili set the tea up for steeping in the pot and leaned against the counter while he waited for the kettle to boil. Though he obviously felt poorly, Kili seemed content enough to simply be there in the silence, as though he simply wanted the reassurance of Fili's presence near him. Fili thought of the rather emotional ending to their encounter the night before (and others that had preceded it, besides). It wasn't fair to continue to make Kili suffer--confused, hurt, and blaming himself--for what was nothing more than his brother's own cowardice. Fili needed to admit his fear and ease that burden from Kili's sweet shoulders.

"I am not brave like you, Kee."  
Kili huffed a disbelieving laugh. "What? Of course you are--why would you say that? I've been in plenty of skirmishes with you and you've been nothing but valiant!"  
"In battle, perhaps, but when it comes to feelings, you put me to shame. You go after them with everything you have, you ask questions without being self-conscious, you give of yourself without reservation, you're...you're so much I'm not."  
"That's not true, Fee-"  
"-No, it _is_ true. You saw what I put Bo through because I was afraid of what I felt, which is nearly what I'm putting you through now. The intimacy frightens me, no matter how much I know I want it."  
"So you, y-you do want it?"  
"Part of me, of course--desperately, in fact--but what I feel when we push those boundaries, when we challenge what we've known up until now to be all but forbidden...I can't explain it, but it terrifies me."  
"I know this is going to make me sound bitter and that mortifies me because I swear I'm not, but what about Bee?"  
"What about him?"  
"You let him in so easily--far more easily than Bo or myself."

Kili let his observation hang in the air as though it was question enough.

"Truthfully, as much as he is a part of us, he isn't one of us," explained Fili. "I don't mean that in a bad way, but you cannot deny the way he goes about things is different. He was the one who brought these pleasures to us in the first place. He wasn't a dwarf, approaching these things in dwarvish ways with dwarvish caution. I had a feeling for him, otherwise I would not have agreed to join your bed, but it wasn't the same as what I feel for Bo, nor the close connection I had with you before we ever started down this path. I can't say why it was easy for me to let him touch me so quickly and without protest...perhaps it was because I thought there was no risk, because I didn't think I could fall in love with him."  
"And now?" 

The day before, for Bofur, Fili had been able to summon neither the bravery nor the explanation, but there was something about Kili gazing at him with his sincere brown eyes that liberated him. Suddenly, he was able to confess. 

"I don't know. Something is there, has been there, slowly growing for some time. With our changing arrangement, consenting to these kisses, feeling him touch me so intimately, having my mouth on him, him being _inside_...I didn't expect to be moved this way. I thought I'd be safe and I brazenly took chances with him I'd once held off with Bo, that I still am cautious of with you. I did not suspect I'd be so drawn in by him, only to find...well, this building feeling only feeds my concern about you and me. My starting point with you is already an overwhelming jumble of emotion and guilt and love and sex--I do not know if I have the capacity for that to grow in comparison. You're the constant in my life, the only thing I've truly been completely sure of--even more than Bo."  
"Then why falter in your faith now?"  
"I'm not--Durin's beard, Kee! I'm not unsure of you. Is that what you think?"  
Kili shrugged again.  
"It is not a matter of it being not enough, but rather too much. You're the very anchor in my life and the last thing I want to risk."  
"Fee, we agreed that being brothers out of bed was more important than being lovers in bed and the Valar know it means the world to me. I couldn't pressure you if you didn't want it because honestly, I still struggle with what _I_ want. The thing is, we're not both on equal footing anymore. I am already there, having felt you within me, feeling the rush of it in a way I did not know was possible without the sort of sex Bee and I have. I'm--I'm not asking you to do something you don't want. I'm not even trying to make you feel guilty for leaving me there on the other side alone. I only...if-if it is fear alone that holds you back, if the want is there..."

Kili paused, searching for what he wanted to say.

"Think on it, examine it thoroughly. If it is too wrong for you to justify, if you do not feel that sort of pull to me, or if it is anything at all to do with a lack of desire or will, we can have that discussion and move forward. We'll have it with Bee and Bo, too, so they understand completely and do not pressure you on their own. We can do this, and I promise I will do it without deep sighs or sad looks."  
Fili quirked a small smile. "I never could handle those big, sad eyes of yours--or your sulking."

Expecting a sassy comeback, or at least a tongue sticking out at him, Fili was surprised Kili remained serious.

"Just know if...If it is fear alone that holds you back, I promise you would not have to face it alone."  
"Kili," Fili whispered.

Kili's breath hitched--Fili so rarely used his actual name.

Swallowing hard, he said, "Take all the time you need. I simply ask you take some of that time to consider _why_."

*****

Fili and Kili returned with the tea to remedy Bilbo's and Kili's day-afters. Despite feeling poorly, Bilbo accepted his from Fili with an unexpectedly shy smile and soft eyes. As Kili set his mug on the bedside table and carefully crawled back in bed, it also did not escape Fili's notice that Kili had been more unwell than he tried to let on. He felt both flattered and guilty that Kili would climb out of bed to follow him in his condition, just for a few quiet moments near him.

"Do you think you both could eat?" asked Fili.  
Simultaneously, Kili grunted, "Ugh," while Bilbo said, "Possibly."

Bofur laughed. "Drink your tea. Fee and I will get something put together for you to nibble. Dry toast for the ailing dwarf and...half the contents of the pantry for the likewise ailing hobbit?"  
"You're learning more and more about Shirefolk with every passing day," Bilbo replied.

*****

After Fili and Bofur left, Bilbo urged Kili to start in on his medicine.

"I don't want it," he groused, sitting up enough to drink it. "Though I do want to feel better so I _suppose_ I'll give it a try."

He glanced around as he took a couple small sips. His eyes landed on a bit of evidence from the day before...then more, and more still.

"Looks like we made a mess of the covers yesterday," Kili ventured.  
Grinning widely, Bilbo said, "You know? I can't even be mad, not when it all felt so fantastically good."  
"When you're right, you're right. Me, I'm right fucked out."  
"Yeah," Bilbo said, giggling and blushing. "Everything between my navel and my thighs aches in the best ways."  
"We'll have to leave it to cuddles only today, at least until later."  
Bilbo looked Kili over. "And until you feel better. It has been a while since I've seen you this pale. Drink up that tea and we'll try to get a little of that toast in you, next."  
"Whatever you say, my jewel," sighed Kili. 

He really did not want any part of that toast.


	32. Me Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two wires get untangled and two more cross.

Kili kept his breakfast down, though the tea had not yet done its full magic for him and he went back to bed in an attempt to sleep off the rest of his day-afters. 

Though Bilbo felt better, he still followed for a bit of a nap, yet short on sleep himself. On the way to his room, he paused to give both Fili and Bofur soft kisses.

Fili curiously observed a blushing, smiling Bilbo leave the room. He felt the phantom tingle still on his lips.

*****

"Do you want to come out with me while the lads rest?" Bofur asked Fili.  
"Out? Where are you going in this chill?"  
"Just down the road. Ori is writing something and asked for my help with song and verse. If I attempt to wait for a day the air doesn't bite, he won't get his help until Erebor," chuckled Bofur.  
"That's true enough. No, you go on ahead," Fili glanced toward the hall. "It has been a long time since Kili has felt this poorly from his wine. I think I'll stay close by in case he needs anything."  
Bofur smiled lovingly. "So much for growing out of all that when you two got older."  
Fili crossed his arms and fixed Bofur with a look. "Don't make me sorry I told you."  
"Aw Fee, you know I'm only messing. I can't blame you for not wanting to go far. In light of your stories, though, I also can't help seeing an added layer of sweetness to your protectiveness."  
"When you put it that way, I suppose you can be forgiven," Fili said.

He smiled and kissed Bofur on the cheek. 

"Have fun with Ori. See if you can work in a verse about a golden-haired warrior: handsome, brave, and especially virile."  
Bofur winked. "It is already written."

*****

Walking to Ori's, Bofur mulled over his conversation with Bilbo from the night before. Some of what Bilbo confessed about Thorin wasn't news to him, though it had been the first time he heard it from Bilbo's own mouth. Last night, still warm from his ale (and high from their sex), it gave Bofur a pleasant feeling. By the harsher, sobering light of day, he felt different about it.

Bilbo had made Thorin a promise, a promise Thorin had not expected Bilbo and Bofur to keep despite Bilbo's best assurances. Likely to save himself the grief of an unwelcome surprise, Thorin had given Bofur what more or less amounted to his blessing. Though--as Bofur had said to Bilbo--there was something queerly reassuring about Bilbo and Thorin thinking about such things as far back as all that, Bofur didn't find it especially flattering that Thorin _assumed_ they would get carried away without regard to Bilbo's and Thorin's marriage or Bofur's relationship with Fili. It nipped at his honor, Thorin assuming the worst of him, and it further rankled him (Bofur was always protective of his own) that Thorin did not have faith in Bilbo, either. However, what had made it exponentially more dismaying was the unavoidable truth that there were points where Bilbo and Bofur had been close enough to almost make him right.

Bofur had not ceased sorting through all the mistakes he had made recently with Fili, either, and adding Fili's perceptions and feelings as of late to these new revelations made it all the worse. In Bofur's haste and neediness, he had shown proper respect neither to his partner nor Bilbo's. Fili, Kili, and Thorin all deserved more than that. Bilbo deserved more, too--they went from passionate kisses to nearly trading imprints, all without the charming, gentler nuances of courting. Had Bofur truly needed to rush them so frantically from nothing to everything?

He reached an epiphany only a handful of paces from Ori's door: Regardless of the reasons he used to easily justify his actions at the time, Bofur was partially (if not mostly) responsible for allowing things to spiral out of control, thus creating heartache and worry for some of those he loved most.

He was ashamed.

*****

A quiet house gave Fili time to start unknotting his jumbled thoughts and emotions. Speaking with Kili had helped Fili give voice to some of his revelations about Bilbo, ones he scarcely believed he had said out loud. Kili usually had that affect on him, though--some of their best talents as brothers were coaxing confessions from each other.

Fili and Bilbo had consistently gotten along, well before Kili confessed his crush and Fili had thrown in his lot to help his brother woo the hobbit. Bilbo had always shared kind smiles with Fili, growing more flirtatious over the months as the quartet challenged their boundaries and negotiated these new arrangements, but Fili and Bilbo's private rendezvous brought about a distinct change in Bilbo's grins and glances. There was a new manner of softness Fili had not noticed there before--at least, not for _him_. Last night felt different, too, with the new, filthy-sweet way Bilbo was with him, even within their quartet. Though Fili was touched and changed by their experience the previous morning--and Bilbo obviously hadn't gone unmoved by it--he couldn't shake the guilt that it had originated from ruder intentions. No matter how delightfully it made his middles quiver, Fili felt like an arse every time Bilbo's expression glowed with sweet affection for him. In spite of Kili's advice, Fili wasn't going to enjoy these new developments until he had unburdened himself.

As luck would have it, an opportunity presented itself when Bilbo rose from his nap and joined Fili in the sitting room with a mug of non-medicinal tea.

"Oh! I hadn't realized anyone else was home. Shall I get you a cup?" asked Bilbo.  
"Thank you, but no," Fili replied, standing. He peered past Bilbo toward the doorway. "Did Kee get up, too?"  
"No, he's still resting. Best thing for it, really."  
"Good," Fili said, taking the mug from Bilbo and setting it aside. He took Bilbo's hands. "Honestly, I was hoping to get you alone for a few minutes."  
"My, again, so soon?" Glad butterflies circulated in Bilbo's stomach, overwhelming him with sentiment. "I--oh, _Fee_!"

Before Fili could argue, Bilbo rose up on furry tiptoe and sensually claimed his mouth. The passion in Bilbo's kiss was unquestionably more than one would find in a kiss meant just for play and Fili could not help a few moments of surrender.

Bilbo threw himself deeper into their embrace as Fili yielded. As he had told Kili that morning, Bilbo wasn't sure how he'd manage another round of anything after the day he had yesterday, but Fili coming back for more gave him a giddy feeling inside. Fili clearly had felt something between them and it excited Bilbo, because he felt it, too.

An invitation to go further pressed into Fili's thigh and, oh, how Fili wished to accept! However, he had already let this go on far too long, given he had serious matters to discuss.

Fili placed his hands on Bilbo's shoulders and gently urged him back enough to get a word in. Bilbo spoke first, sneaking more kisses against Fili's jaw in between sentences.

"As lovely as you feel, I must caution you my prick may not be able to handle another round, not after yesterday and last night. I might still need a little more recuperation to get past the ache."  
"No, that's not what I'm trying to do."

Bilbo leaned away to look at Fili, his smile fading to confusion. 

"It isn't?"  
"Not that it wouldn't be lovely, of course," stammered Fili, "but what I wanted...that is to say, what I'm here to tell you..."  
Confusion gave way to a frown and a creeping feeling of dread. "Yes?"  
"Bee--Bilbo--I used you," Fili finally blurted out.  
"Used me?"  
Fili nodded, ashamed. "I was starting to feel jealous of what was between you and Bo, or at least how it made him treat me. I knew it would upset him if I had my own intimate moment with you alone and that's why I invited you into the bedroom. Yesterday, I mean. When it was just us two."

Bilbo frowned deeper, feeling humiliated and silly for allowing himself to get this caught up in their sex.

"I see."  
"But that's only how it started," Fili rushed to clarify. "I meant what I said. It was...well, it meant something to me, well beyond my childish reasons for starting it. I owe you apologies for trying to use you in that manner, anyway, but even more so after-"

Bilbo wasn't hearing Fili's explanation, teeming with his own personal embarrassment and fixating particularly on the worry he had somehow caused trouble between Fee and Bo. 

"-And now?" he interrupted. "You and Bo?"  
"We understand each other much better. We had a long discussion and learned some important lessons. We've grown closer because of them, if you can imagine such a possibility."  
"Fee, you have to know I would never, ever, wish to become an obstacle for the two of you. I love Bo deeply--more deeply than I realized myself at first--but I would never ask him to choose, nor would I want him to. I know what being torn like that feels like, and I wouldn't do that to anyone I loved. You mean too much to me, both outside of our bedroom arrangement as well as within it."  
Fili exhaled in a huff. "I know."  
"What can I do?" Bilbo asked, wringing his hands. "How can I do my part to fix this?"  
Shaking his head, Fili said, "It wasn't your problem to fix, and it is no longer a problem, anyway. It was me, in my mind and my imagination, and my fears were unfounded. Bo and I talked and he said the words I needed to hear, made me feel what I needed to feel. The wedding is going on as planned, and if you can forgive me for my deception, I would like to continue on with our arrangement as well."  
Mind still reeling, Bilbo replied, "Of course I can forgive you."  
"Thank you."

Unbelievably relieved with the release of this burden, Fili rather wished to get on with what Bilbo had started--a celebration of sorts, burying the ashes of those fears and jealousies under a glorious new hope and a growing affection. Perhaps it would not culminate in a climax, but Fili would be quite gratified to enjoy the highlights of the process regardless. Cupping Bilbo's face, Fili moved in for a tender, promising kiss. Bilbo broke it scant seconds in.

"I think--yes, I think I might hear Kee stirring," Bilbo said.

Fili stood still for a few moments, glancing up as he listened intently. 

"Are you sure? I'm not sure I hear anything."  
"Right--he's not snoring to wake the dead any longer," Bilbo noted. "Do you think I could coax you to put together something easy from the pantry for a touch of lunch for him? If he is awake and feeling better, he'll be ready to eat for real."  
Fili gave Bilbo a quick peck on the lips, assuring him, "Sure, I'll take care of it."

*****

Bilbo hurried to the master bedroom to find Kili still sleeping, as he knew he would. He closed the door quietly and leaned against it, trying desperately not to make a sound as he cried.

*****

Chadham came to the door of Bag End to retrieve the dwarves and Bilbo to join Bofur and the rest for dinner.

Bilbo begged off, knowing Kili may not be in the best shape to trek across the Shire for food he might barely want. Fili was torn between staying or going and Bilbo could see it, but Bilbo urged him to go. When Fili accepted, Bilbo was glad of it. He did not know how to behave around Fili right now, not until he had time to get some manner of grip on Fili's earlier admission. 

After a late-ish dinner of their own (one Kili _did_ want, as it turned out), Kili retired to the master bedroom with Bilbo.

*****

Though Fili had explained himself, Bilbo's world was shaken by the revelation that Fili had been bitter in the first place. Bilbo had felt so lucky--all their trials and tribulations had led to such lovely (and filthy) harmony--but now he was seeing it with different eyes. What had he been thinking? Two husbands-- _two_ , and from a culture that held their Chosen sacred above all things--and he had been considering a bond with a third who was the Chosen of another. It was easy for Bilbo to think that the four dwarrows had come to this delightful agreement of their own free will because he wanted to believe it, but was it the truth? Was it this way because it suited their desires, or was it something worse? Was he cracking up their cultural and moral foundations for his own selfish gain?

Fili and Bofur hadn't even made their vows, yet Bofur and Bilbo were discussing something permanent of their own. Shouldn't he let Fili and Bofur at least have their wedding first? Experience each other as husbands before adding Bilbo to Bofur's blood? Bilbo and Kili had experienced a beautiful clarity almost immediately after having wedded--Bofur and Fili should have a chance for that, too. Maybe their revelation might be different. What if _their_ clarity was that they wanted to keep their union dwarvishly sacred after all?

Bilbo thought of the day before, of the surprising, trembling joy he had felt in Fili's arms and the tender, affected look in Fili's eyes--had that been his imagination, too? And what of Thorin? They had calmly and rationally discussed Bilbo's potential future with Bofur, but they had always promised Thorin that Fili was nothing more than Bofur's partner. Bilbo knew what he felt was real; what would they tell Thorin if he had not merely fantasized the way he believed Fili to be affected either? Or worse, what if he _had_?

"What?" Kili said.  
"What what?"  
"You sighed a very particular sigh. What are you thinking?"  
"I was thinking...I was thinking, 'what were _we_ thinking?'"  
"Oh, you're deep enough in your thoughts that you are talking in code again."  
Bilbo rolled over to face him, huffing, "I am not talking in code. I mean us: you, me, Bo, Fee, all thinking all this sex wasn't going to change how we felt about each other. This is what I was afraid of all along, why I was reticent. I knew we couldn't just throw our clothes off and, and, and-"  
"-Come without consequence?"  
"Yes, that!"  
"We knew that too, Bee. We had a whole discussion about it, remember?" reminded Kili gently.  
"We did, before we really knew how upset you were going to be over Fee, before Bo wanted a bond, before I had to explain to Thorin about--it was just... _before_ all that."  
"Fair enough. So, let's consider how it would have been if you had known about these things first? Would the worries and the excesses have honestly stopped you from desiring the lovelier aspects of it? Would it have kept you from starting?"  
Bilbo huffed again. "No, but-but-"  
"But what?"  
"But...I don't even know," Bilbo conceded. 

Kili recalled the Bilbo of that morning, giggling with lewd pleasure about how worthwhile he found the ache in his stones and the mess on the bed. He wondered how the switch had happened from that Bilbo to this one.

*****

Fili lay snug in Bofur's arms, his unburdened mind finally allowing him some peace. The past couple days had been emotionally (and physically) exhausting, though the effort was worth the sum and more in exchange for the lucidity he had found after confronting his anger, desires, guilt, jealousies, and fears. For the first time in days, Fili drifted to sleep relaxed and content.

Thoughts of his lovers sweetened his dreams.

*****

At his first chance to take a moment with Kili alone the next morning, Fili pulled him aside.

"Kee, I-" Fili faltered, not sure how to go about saying what he needed to say. "I have thought about what you've said, about what we've done, about so much that we didn't used to understand, and about things perhaps I still don't."  
"Okay," Kili responded carefully.  
"None of my hesitation has come from a lack of desire. Though I've been struggling with it being forbidden-"  
"-I know," Kili interrupted, staring down at the ground in shame. "I'm depraved. I'm sorry."  
Fili pressed a gentle finger to Kili's lips. "Oh Kee, that's not it. I'm struggling because it being forbidden excites me so, yet everything we've been taught says it shouldn't arouse me like it does. I'm depraved right along with you."  
Kili glanced up with hope in his eyes. "What are you saying?"  
"Well, if you'd let me finish a single thought for once in this life, what I'm trying to tell you is there is no lack of want or will. It _has_ only been fear holding me back." Fili peeked down at his feet, then back up again from under his eyebrows. "Remember what you promised me about that?"  
Kili smiled. "Yes."  
"The next time the opportunity presents itself, perhaps with a partner in the battle...well, I cannot assure you I won't retreat if it gets to be too much, but I-I might be amenable to making an attempt to face those fears."  
"I've always been your partner in battle, Fee, whether it be physical, mental, or emotional. That never changes. If we discover this path is a poor one for us, then we'll alter it. We will not let it alter us."

Fili cupped the back of Kili's neck and pressed their foreheads together, exhaling in relief.

"Brothers?"  
"The closest," Kili assured him. 

A thrilling flush crept up Fili's chest as he considered how true Kili's statement might one day soon be.

*****

Bilbo had been gone before breakfast, unusually subdued through lunch, and now Fili noticed he had been quiet through the entirety of tea.

"You look pensive," Fili said to Bilbo  
Quipped Bofur, "Nah, he's just thinking."

Kili, who had been lost in his own dreamy thoughts, put down his scone and studied Bilbo's face. 

"My jewel?"

Bilbo pulled in a breath. He didn't know how to begin this conversation, but he couldn't _not_ begin the conversation, either. 

"I am thinking...have been thinking...am practically sick with thinking. I've been so, so _joyful_ since we've sorted things out between us, making it work with Thorin, allowing ourselves to feel and to love the way our hearts dictate, even if it isn't perhaps what we've been told is the proper way. It was all so wonderful."

Bilbo's words were sweet to the dwarves' ears, but Fili could see the sadness etched on Bilbo's features. 

"'Was,' Bee?" he asked, nervous.  
" _Is_ , of course, and yet..." Bilbo bit his lip, looking for the words to convey what he meant.  
Kili reached out for Bilbo's hand, alarmed to find it trembling. "What are you trying to say?"  
"I think perhaps we should curb some of our shared activities for the time being. Not a full-stop, mind you. I want our arrangement very intact, and hope there will be no curbing of the love, of course, or other expressions of affection, but I'm speaking specifically of the ones involving nudity and orgasms."  
"Why? Because of me?" Fili asked.  
"Not only that," Bilbo explained. "No one here can deny things got serious very quickly, and in some ways quite unexpectedly. The revelations of the past couple days have shown me how close we've almost trended towards heartbreak, which is the last thing we need if we're going to make a go of this for the decades I think we all mean to. The two of you are to be wed soon, and it might be better for us to consider going to bed together a decadent treat and not necessarily our way of life while we're figuring things out."

Kili bit his lip but said nothing.

Fili desperately tried to change Bilbo's mind. "No, but it is fine! I told you it was sorted between us. Bo! Bo, explain to him how we've worked it out!"  
"I...I think I agree with him, Fee," replied Bofur.  
Fili's reaction was complete surprise. "What?"  
"You do?" Kili asked.  
"Bee is not wrong. Things started getting out of control."  
Fili demanded, "How can you say that?"  
"More tears have been shed between the four of us in the past week than in the full two months that preceded it put together, Fee. You can't pretend otherwise because I know you've seen it--you've cried at least a quarter of them yourself."

Fili crossesd his arms, knowing he had no retort to Bofur's observation. 

Bofur continued, "Look, me agreeing with Bee's position does not mean I love him any less than I did ten minutes, ten hours, or ten days ago, nor does it mean I blame you for anything, Fee. All I'm saying is a little perspective couldn't hurt."  
"Right," Bilbo chimed in. "If we don't slow down, who knows how we'll be riding into Erebor? Or if the four of us would be riding in together at all?"  
"You can't believe that," Fili argued weakly.  
"I can't see the future, Fee, but I do know--just as Bo said--there as been too much angst and far too many tears," Bilbo paused, looking between Fili and Kili, "Between all of us."  
Bofur addressed Kili. "Kee, you've not said anything. What do you think?"

Kili wanted to cry out in frustration. He had finally had a breakthrough with Fili and now--now was the time Bilbo and Bofur wanted to separate their bedrooms? As maddening as it was, though, Kili could not refute the arguments. They had all been enduring the pains of their arrangement growing. Fili, in particular, had been struggling to come to terms with Bilbo and Bofur as well as his own feelings for Bilbo and Kili. It would do him good to have more time to adjust without the pressure he had been feeling. Kili sighed. He loved them all too much to be selfish about it.

Carefully, Kili said, "If things are getting more serious than we had first planned, perhaps now is the time for softer affections to allow such things to bloom. It is too difficult to unpack how we truly feel when we are clouded with lust."  
"But I _prefer_ my feelings clouded with lust!" protested Fili.  
"And they can be, and they will be," Kili reassured him gently. "This isn't ending anything, Fee."  
"Valar's sake, no!" Bilbo added. "I don't want it to be over, please, no one take it that way."  
Kili put one of Fili's braids back in its place. "This is simply assuring we make it past the beginning."  
"Aye," Bofur replied.  
Sulking, Fili looked around the table. "I feel like you are all ganging up on me. Have the three of you discussed this without me?"  
"No, I swear to you," Bofur said. "But what does it say when the three of us have each reached this conclusion on our own?"  
"That I'm the only one who is going to miss it?" answered Fili miserably.

Bilbo moved over to stand next to Fili's chair. 

Softly, he implored him, "Please, Fee, that isn't true...and I think you know it isn't. If we're going to explore this properly, it needs to be without ill will, without vendettas, and occasionally _with_ clothes on."

Bilbo's words struck Fili to the core--so it _was_ Fili's confession, at least partially, to blame for this! He could kick himself now. He had only wanted an unmarred foundation on which to build. Instead, his middles churned with disappointment. He had been ready to explore these feelings for Bilbo, to take a new step with Kili, and Bofur--oh, Bofur! Fili felt so guilty for arresting the progress of Bofur's relationship with Bilbo, especially now that Bofur was so close to adding Bilbo to his blood. 

Fili looked up at Bilbo. "I'm sorry. I only...I only wanted to start honestly with you. It meant--you mean--something special to me."

The unguarded, caring look in Fili's eyes chased away the lingering humiliation Bilbo had been feeling over Fili's confession.

Bilbo smoothed his knuckles against Fili's cheek. "You mean something special to me, too. Does it all have to happen within this very moment, though?"

The answering sweetness in Bilbo's gaze soothed Fili's trepidation more than it had a right to. He glanced to Kili, having a full conversation with him in complete silence, ending with a nod. Finally, he looked to Bofur, who was looking back at him with the utmost adoration in his eyes. 

"No, it doesn't," Fili said when he finally spoke. "Though it came as quite a shock, I suppose you've all made a good case for moving forward with the softer expressions of our affection for each other for the time being, at least outside our bonded pairs. However, I want it as a matter of record that I do not want to indefinitely suspend our sexual arrangement."  
"Nor do any of us," Bilbo said. "Least of all me!"  
Bofur added, "No, I don't think anyone wants that, Fee. This is short-term, just enough to give us the room we need to expand and flourish."  
Fili pressed, "But just until our wedding, right? That's what we mean by short-term?"  
Nodding, Bilbo said. "Until the wedding, at least. After, if you are anything like Kee and I were, things should be clearer to you in the frame of what you want. At that point, the hope is that you'll look at it and the two of you will tell _us_ what you've figured out. Or, if you haven't figured it out, then presumably you'll both take the time you need."  
"And if it isn't us you want," Kili interjected. "If it isn't sharing our bed, or adding a bond between Bo and Bee, or if Fee and I are meant to be brothers only, or any other thing that you think might hurt or upset us, tell us. Tell us then, and we'll work it out between the four of us."

Fili wanted to inform him rather firmly there was no chance of that on his end, and likely not on Bofur's either, but he chose not to argue. Instead, he reassured him.

"We will, Kee. No matter what and no matter how, all I want is all of us to be happy."  
"Me too," Kili said.

Fili and Bilbo stared at Bofur. 

"What?" Bofur said.  
"I was waiting on you to say, 'me three,'" Bilbo replied.  
Fili said, "And I was waiting to smack you when you did."  
"C'mon, I'm not _that_ hokey with the jokes," Bofur protest.

This time, it was Kili who shot him a knowing look.

Bofur held up his hands. "What?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading. Comments are my love and my motivation, so don't be shy if you are here and still having a good time!


	33. Update From The East

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek in on Thorin and some passage of time in Erebor. 
> 
> Note: Erebor jumps ahead of the Bag End time line, here. Don't worry, they will catch up and none of you will miss Yule <3

Regardless of the odd news (and odder behavior) from those who had spent their autumn in the Shire, Balin thought Thorin's transition back into office was going well. The council was rather pleased with Thorin bringing back so many from Ered Luin, particularly with the letters promising more returning by summer besides. The arrival of the princess and news of a royal wedding also did their part to inspire confidence and enthusiasm among the council as well as the general citizenry. With these developments (and quite in _spite_ of the elves being welcomed to Erebor, at least in the minds of a few), public opinion swayed heavily to Thorin's favor. Balin could not overstate his relief, given the talk there had been in Thorin's absence.

He wished he could figure out Thorin's own glad mood, though, or at least further decipher Dwalin's mistrust of it. He couldn't shake the feeling Dwalin wasn't telling him all he knew.

*****

While still on the road, Thorin had come up with the idea to see if it was still possible to acquire the soap he had given Bilbo for that initial Lake Town bath--his first, actual courting gift to his husband. Though the temperature had dropped to close to freezing, he still bundled himself in some furs and made his way to New Dale. He had a security detail at Balin's insistence, and Dwalin was part of that detail...at Dwalin's insistence.

Bard seemed pleased to see Thorin and Dwalin both. For all the bad blood they had experienced between them at the Siege of Erebor, Bard and Thorin had managed better terms since. Thorin explained his visit was not official, but Bard still made time to have a chat between them "because the King has been away for so long." 

Bard expressed his pleasure at how the rebuild of New Dale was going. Thorin attempted to promise him another payment of gold, citing the original agreed payout had been arrested well before approaching even a fraction of what was agreed due, but Bard insisted he still had two wagons full and already had issues keeping it properly secured. As they spoke of trade and of the upcoming wedding--Bard was invited, of course--no one would have guessed the prior animosity between them.

"What can you tell me of Dale in your youth, King Thorin?" Bard asked. "I know it would be too ambitious to try to remake it in the image of old, but this will not be Lake Town, either...nor should it be. I would like our people to forge something new, something that might one day be the best parts of both, if somehow we could manage it."

Bard listened while Thorin described the Dale of his memory: the bustle, trade, gardens, orchards, craftsfolk, and food. Though food-bearing trees were not going to be a fast thing for Bard's folk to manage, they had already been to work in the past year buying and sowing seeds, growing green things once again in the Desolation. This year they had plans to start an even wider variety of crops, and hoped to add export in addition to building their food security.

In the midst of all this, Thorin asked Bard if he remembered the craftsman who created the soaps in Lake Town.

Sadly, Bard shook his head. "I'm afraid he did not survive to join us."  
"The dragon?" Thorin asked grimly.  
"Yes."

Thorin felt a sad twinge, because the soap maker was a happy and kindly fellow.

"Though if Erebor doesn't have someone to craft such things on its own, we have someone new taking on that duty," added Bard. "It is a bit slow going, of course, not being his primary discipline and having no one under whom to apprentice, but he keeps the complaints to a minimum...at least around me!"  
"No," Thorin answered. "We have people who do that in Erebor. I was seeking a particular scent I had acquired in Lake Town."  
"Hmm, you could always try the perfumer. She is wearing many hats these days, too, but perhaps she might have time to figure out what you need. Say, if you have particularly prolific craftsfolk of that sort in Erebor, maybe we can lighten the load of our unwilling soap maker."  
Thorin considered this. "Hmmm, maybe."

*****

"Why are we doing this again?" Dwalin groused.  
Thorin retorted, "Because I want to."  
"A king has time to bother with fripperies like perfuming his soap?"  
"Just as much as the king's bodyguard-- _and Captain Of The Elite Guard_ , thank you--has time to bother with what bunting gets hung in the hall for his wedding."  
Dwalin grunted, annoyed. "Carry on."

*****

As luck would have it, Eirina, the perfumer, had been the one to craft the oils the late merchant frequently purchased to use in his soaps. As such, it took Thorin only a smattering of sniffs from her samples to identify not only the scent of Bilbo's soap from that evening, but of Thorin's as well. Thorin hired Eirina on the spot, requesting for her to meet with Erebor's own craftsfolk the next day. Not only could she help Thorin make a solid go at recreating the gift he had once shyly given his would-be intended, she could also help him recreate the scent Bilbo had first breathed from his bare skin. He could barely contain his excitement.

*****

Dain and Thorin were in the middle of a casual conversation when a guard rapped on the Thorin's office chambers door.

"Excuse me, Your Highness?" he said.  
"Yes?"  
"I apologize for the interruption, but there was a human wandering in the main corridor? She says she is a fragrance specialist from New Dale with an appointment?"  
"Ah, yes! I suppose I did not give her the best direction, did I? Well then," Thorin looked to Dain. "I'll see you at dinner?"  
Dain replied, "Indeed."

Thorin greeted her in the doorway, noticing right away she was burdened by her supplies.

"Here, help her with her wares," Thorin directed the guard.

The guard relieved the woman of her large shoulder-box, hearing it clink.

"Oh, do please be careful, if you would be so kind," she pleaded. 

Dain watched the whole scene with puzzled interest as Thorin guided the woman out without a word of explanation to him. 

"'Fragrance specialist?'" He wondered aloud. 

The guard shrugged, leaving the room behind them, cautiously toting her heavy, wooden case by the handles and not by the strap.

Had Dain left the room too, or if the guard had been less distracted, they might have noticed the figure following Thorin and his guest from a carefully measured distance.

*****

Thorin went down to the Merchant's Level with Eirina, introducing her to the artisans who made soap and other like wares. Instead of leaving, as all involved had expected, he stayed and explained what it was he was trying to re-create. The dwarves were pleasantly surprised, if not a bit puzzled. Who knew the king to be so passionate about something like fragrance and the consistency of soap?

Thorin stayed on well past his own role in the process, raptly listening to the craftspeople discuss their trades.

*****

Thorin closed the workshop door behind him, feeling especially satisfied. Not only did it seem like Eirina and the dwarves would be able to fulfill his wishes, it also seemed as though the relationship forged between them might prove to be profitable well past Thorin's own purchases. Again, he was struck at Bilbo's prescience. He had been insistent that Erebor and Dale would need as strong a relationship as the one they had in decades past if they were both to prosper again. This thing--no matter how small it was in the grand scheme--was yet another sliver of evidence that was so.

He was startled from his thoughts by Regnad, who seemed to come from nowhere.

"I wouldn't have taken you for someone to be so involved in such things," Regnad said, gesturing behind them towards the soap makers' door.  
Thorin glanced around. "What are you doing down here?"  
"From afar, I saw a form resembling yours accompanying a human to the Merchant's Level and I thought, 'Well, surely not.' I figured I'd loiter around to see if my eyes had cheated me from the distance."

Thorin thought the hour or so he had been there was a long time for someone to 'loiter,' though he considered perhaps his presence was of interest to Regnad as a member of council. It was possible Regnad--whose intelligence had been obvious to Thorin from the start--had been especially perceptive, knowing at a glance that a human from New Dale visiting their craftsfolk could mean good things for Erebor's commerce.

Satisfied with his own reasoning, Thorin declared, "Now you know. If this alliance proves as promising as I think it shall, there will likely be some manner of merchant's petition going through council or sub-committee sooner or later."  
"And what alliance would that be?"  
"The human is a perfumer from New Dale, specializing in pleasing additives for bathing."  
Regnad hummed. "I find it interesting that the King of Erebor takes his spare time to become involved with merchant alliances."

Regnad's tone and smile had an odd quality to them, though Thorin couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. 

"There was something I wanted re-created," he explained.  
"Well, aren't you full of surprises! I must say, I would not have taken you for a dwarf interested and versed in matters such as perfumery," Regnad said, simpering in a manner Thorin would almost call flirtatious had it not appeared feigned.  
Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Thorin replied, "Well, we all must get clean. However, I've spent more time on this than I had originally planned and must hasten to my next appointment. If you will excuse me."  
"Of course, Your Highness."

Thorin was relieved to note Regnad did not join him on his trip to the upper floor.

*****

Dain mused there had probably been no one in Erebor, save perhaps Balin, who had been happier to see Thorin return than him. Dain had remained vigilant all those weeks--doing everything in his power to ensure Thorin's kingdom would still be his upon his return--and he was happy to have that responsibility lifted from his shoulders. Additionally, he was elated to see Thorin smiling with regularity again, something that also helped Dain walk a bit lighter these days.

Always observant, however, it had not escaped Dain's notice that Thorin had started investing time and effort towards...odd things. Thorin used his own money, time, and resources, diverting nothing from official projects, and put in his time as leader before he moved on to his personal concerns. Because of this, Dain did not think it was not his place to speak up on it, though he wondered exactly what had happened in the Shire and the traveling that followed. He had not seen Thorin with a passion like this in decades, and the Thorin who left Erebor for the Shire was very unlike the one who returned.

*****

The first good downpour since Thorin returned was upon them, though the nature of living in a mountain meant he did not quite realize it was raining until after breakfast. After the morning meetings, he stole away and stood at the doorway to the Grand Overlook to watch it fall. For years, he had loved rain--at least, as long as he wasn't forced to travel in it. The sound and the smell were calming. Wishing he had more and better memories of Bilbo in the rain, the longing for his husband knocked him squarely in his chest. The lovely spring for which he had been planning seemed suddenly too far away with the sound of rain turning to the cold, quiet tapping of sleet on concrete.

By evening, the downpour was a snow shower--insistent though not wicked. Thorin was compelled once again to visit the Overlook, this time stepping outside. The ground was slick beneath his feet due to the ice beneath the snow. Deciding not to risk the walk to the rail, he leaned against the wall and breathed in the crisp, biting air. The snow subtly illuminated the night and Thorin's first thought was how pleasing Bilbo would find listening to the softness of snow falling on snow in the cool of a early, early winter's night. His second thought was that this, too, was something for which he had a dearth of Bilbo memories. He could not recall a time he had walked with Bilbo as the snow fell, fat flakes sticking to both the hair on Bilbo's head as well as his shins and feet. There were no bright, twinkling eyes wide with delight, no giggles of wonder, no kissing of cold lips nor sharing cups of something warm and soothing by the fire when they came inside.

A disquiet inside Thorin disturbed the otherwise meditative calm of watching the snow fall on the mountain. He had known he hadn't shared many days as Bilbo's lover, though tonight hit him with a sharp clarity for how much he had truly _missed_.

*****

Shortly after that first snow, Beorn finally arrived in Erebor.

After being alerted to his approach, Thorin, Dain, and Balin met him just inside the gate. They all greeting him happily, though Dain was quite surprised to hear Beorn say he had been invited specifically by Thorin. After the introductory niceties, Thorin sent Beorn off with Balin to find the comfort of accommodation after his cold, weary journey. 

When they were out of earshot, Dain turned to Thorin.

"You sent for him? What need of Beorn do you have?"  
"He's going to help me with a matter of warm water plumbing."  
Dain shot him a queer look. "You've certainly developed some bizarre hobbies since you've been back."

Thorin laughed and clapped Dain on the back, though he didn't elaborate on the subject.

*****

The next day, council had not been scheduled to convene. With the rest of Thorin's duties completed early and Beorn having warmed up, slept, and eaten a few meals, they were ready to do some planning.

They walked from Thorin's chambers to the springs, and beyond those as well, Beorn using his unique senses to suss out another potential water source the dwarves had not realized was within their mountain. Beorn mumbled to himself as he calculated the feats of engineering it was going to take to make Thorin's hope a reality. 

"So," Thorin said what he hoped was casually. "You mentioned...well, that is, when I saw you last you made a comment about hoping the five of us came to some sort of understanding."  
"I did."

Letting Beorn's words hang in the air a few moments, Thorin quickly surmised he was not going to elaborate on his own. 

"Well, I count only four in this arrangement, unless you've sensed or smelled a suitor for Bilbo that has been yet unrevealed to me?"  
"Then you count wrong," Beorn said.

Thorin wanted to groan in frustration, as Beorn's matter-of-fact nature in matters such as these was maddening at best.

"How shall I count, then? _Whom_ shall I count?"  
Plainly, Beorn replied, "You cannot count Bofur without counting his mate."  
"Fili?"

Beorn nodded solemnly.

Thorin exhaled with a smile. "That's a relief! Of course, if we're counting loves and lives affected, we would consider Fili as part of the count. It makes more sense now. I thought you meant there was someone _else_ else."

Beorn looked at Thorin wordlessly in such a way that Thorin's heart sank again.

"You--you don't, do you?"

Though Beorn shook his head, his expression made Thorin think he was still yet to understand. Sighing, he decided not to press. When Beorn was not dispensing advice freely, pressing (or being thick as to what he was saying) had not ever proven productive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is still here.


	34. Trying It On For Size

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As always, to reduce confusion when the couples are together, pairings alternate with a left-aligned
> 
> ****  
> Instead of the usual centered break.

The evening of the conversation about abating their activities, Bilbo and Kili excused themselves to bed.  Roundly exhausted from recent events, a look was all the explanation they needed to give each other before nestling into for a comforting rest.

Kili woke to Bilbo stirring, noting by the light through the window that they had considerably slept in.

Seeming to read his thoughts, Bilbo said (through a yawn), "We slept late today."  
"I'm surprised the lads haven't come looking for us."  
"They know better.  The past few days have been tiring, even with no sex the past two nights."  
Kili agreed.  "We let our bodies rest but wore our hearts and minds out instead."  
"Truth be told, my heart, mind, bum, and stones could probably _all_ benefit from another night of that rest."  
"I was afraid to tell you I was thinking the same.  I didn't want you to think I was only interested in you if our bed was otherwise, um, populated."  
"I think all the months leading up to those last couple of wild days with Fee and Bo would be more than reassuring in that aspect."  
Kili smiled.  "Good, because I was also thinking maybe we could make a game of it."

He punctuated his comment with a flirtatious wink and Bilbo couldn't help but grin widely back.  Of course Kili would manage to find the naughty side of _abstaining_ from sex.

"Well?  Out with it then," Bilbo said, crossing his arms expectantly.

*****

That afternoon found only the mildest bit of awkwardness between the four before smoothing out.  There were still fond, familiar touches--a pat on the shoulder here, a squeeze of a hand there--and Bilbo had made sure to press soft, sweet kisses to both Bofur's and Fili's lips that afternoon to reassure them their relationship hadn't fully reverted to their former restrictions. 

Fili and Kili, always brothers first, didn't bother with such reassurances.  Fili stole food off Kili's plate, Kili protested and stole some back--that was all they needed to get back into step. 

*****

Relieved as he was the four of them hadn't managed to irreversibly cock things up, as it were, Bilbo surmised bed time would be the most difficult to navigate while their more carnal activities were put on pause.  He sensed they were all putting it off as long as they could, the yawns growing in frequency until he found it too ridiculous to ignore.  Sleep eventually won out and Bilbo made moves to excuse himself to bed. 

He kissed Bofur and Fili each on the cheek and, seeming to follow his example, Kili did the same.  Though relieved Bofur and Fili did not seem upset, a part of Bilbo would have rather had more, even it if wasn't going to lead to _all_.  Because Fili and Bofur did not press, though, Bilbo and Kili wished them a good night and let it go without pushing the issue further themselves.  

*****

Fili and Bofur rested side-by-side, recovering admirably after an energetic and voiciferous round of lovemaking. 

"I wonder what the lads thought of _that_!" chuckled Bofur.   
"I'm pretty sure we know!  Of course, given that we're supposed to be taking a break from being involved with each other like that, perhaps it wasn't as fun for them to hear as it was a couple days ago."  
"Or maybe they like to be taunted with it.  What if we heard them tonight, Fee?  Would you get off on it or would it make you lonely for them?"  
"Hmm...yes?"  
Bofur laughed boisterously.  "Me too.  I was a part of this decision, of course, but I'd be lying if I said I'm going to enjoy Bilbo's indefinite absence from our bed."  
"If it goes well, though," Fili rolled over and gave Bofur an obscene kiss,  "then one of these days, you might get both of us at the same time."

Bofur groaned lewdly.  Fili nibbled his way down Bofur's neck, making him squirm.

"We're not supposed to be thinking about that right now, remember?" Bofur managed to say.  "We're supposed to be trying to take this slow.  Besides, Bilbo promised Thorin we would not attempt to escalate our relationship until Erebor and I'm determined to keep that promise--more so since Thorin expects us not to."

Fili paused in his attempt to seduce Bofur again, crossing his arms across Bofur's chest and resting his chin in the middle so he could look at him.    

"I just thought it would be sexy to think about," Fili mumbled.  

Bofur suddenly felt bad.  This is what they always did with each other and Fili--who had been reticent about slowing down this wagon when he had finally decided to climb on board--was only trying to make the most of a situation he didn't particularly want.  Bofur ran his hand over Fili's hair.  

"You know, you're right.  So, both of you at the same time?  What would that entail?"  
Fili's smile returned, this time sly.  "Front to back and back to front, if you follow me.  If you're exceptionally good, maybe we'll both have your hole at once."  
"Both at once!  I confess, I'm achingly curious how it will feel to be made so full by the two of you.  After that, maybe your brother and I can have a go at stuffing Bilbo the same way so I can discover how it feels from the other side as well."  
"You think you can handle being touched that way by Kee, stroking your cock against his?  The two of you are going to have to get a lot more comfortable with each other for that to work."  
Bofur scoffed.  "We're very comfortable."  
"Day to day, sure--like kin, you are--but in bed you avoid each other."

Bofur packed that observation away for another time--one when a gorgeous blond hadn't resumed kissing his way down to a rapidly re-hardening cock.  

"You wanna make some more noise?" purred Bofur.  
"Your pleasure," Fili quipped back.

*****

Kili was out of bed and on his feet when Bilbo woke the next morning.  He shot a triumphant look Bilbo's way.

"I'm up first today," he said.  
Bilbo grinned.  "So I see."

Per Kili's game--inspired by the day leading up to their wedding--they had agreed to two more days of celibacy.  The first one out of bed was the only one allowed a wank that first day--a _private_ wank, no taunting the other--and would decide whether the other found his relief at bedtime the following evening or had to endure third sleep before they resumed their sexual activity.  To make things a little more fair for the one who did not wake first to win, no one was to wank the second day at all, making the winner more apt to want and provide relief at night's end.  

"Shall I give you your privacy?" asked Bilbo.  
"No," Kili said with a sexy grin, "I'm going to wait until the mood strikes me just right."

*****

"So, how are you feeling?" Fili asked, shrugging on his tunic as he dressed.  
Bofur quirked an eyebrow.  "How do you mean?"  
"The new arrangement, I suppose you would call it.  How did you do with your first full day and night?"  
Bofur gave him a knowing look.  "How did _you_ do?"  
"It was...nice, I suppose except..."

 _Ah_ , Bofur thought.  He had figured there was something Fili wanted to discuss. 

"Except?" he asked aloud.  
"I've been thinking about that goodnight."  
"What about it?"  
"We decided no sex, but we'd keep the affection, right?"  
"Right."  
"Parting kisses on the cheek felt a lot more like the way we were at Beorn's, that's all."  
"Well, it was the first night, you know.  I'll admit, we had better smooches yesterday afternoon than we did at bedtime.  Maybe they didn't want to start anything we weren't going to finish?"  
"I suppose," Fili said blandly.  
"Come now," Bofur said, tipping Fili's chin up, "If you want the clarification, why don't you simply ask?"

The corners of Fili's mouth quirked in a sheepish smile before straightening out, pained.  He shook his head. 

"Why ever not?"  
"I was the hold out, the one that took the convincing," Fili explained.  "I did--and do--see the valid point in this, but I worry if I ask any questions or press for details, it will be perceived as me continuing my argument."  
"Aye, I understand. I don't think they would think that at all, though I can see your point."

*****

It took a little planning on his part, but Kili had managed some time to himself in the bedroom to claim part of his reward.  No one knew what he was doing in there with the door closed--not even Bilbo--which gave it an added thrill. 

Reclining on the bed, Kili reached over to oil his hand.  He closed his eyes and slicked himself slowly, searching his mind for a memory to aid him.  He thought a moment about the first afternoon he and Bilbo spent opening their bed to Thorin, though he moved on to those last days of Thorin's in Bag End for a more deliberate pleasure.  Sharing Bilbo, sharing each other, so forbidden and raw...Kili bit his lip to keep from crying out. 

He found himself changing the memory to fantasy, thinking of how Thorin might handle them in Erebor.  Surely with more time to get used to the idea and the ache of having been alone all those months, Thorin would be bolder in his choices with Kili--and desperately _hungry_ for both of them.  Kili went back to his memory of the first time Thorin thumbed him open, imagining in the mountain there would be a less tentative start than before...and dirtier talk besides.   Tingles raced up and down Kili's spine with the consideration.  Thorin touching him like that--and Fili's jealous replay--had given him a feeling of such delicious surrender.

A small noise escaped Kili's throat with the thought of Fili.  Oh, _yes_!

He flipped through his recent memories and landed on one that pooled hot and trembled low in his abdomen:  the day Fili joined his rope play with Bilbo.  Gods, he had truly thought for a moment Fili might actually follow through with his erotic murmurings about fucking Bilbo--and Kili would have let him.  Kili reached down to cup his stones, shivering as he imagined Fili pushing in next to him.  He could almost feel Fili's hardness and heat, feel Bilbo tightening, hear Bilbo keening and begging for more.  Kili saw himself breaking free from the rope so he could touch and paw at both his lovers, using what leverage he could as they all raced towards their finish.  He imagined Fili breaking first, spilling against his cock and then-

Sucking in a breath and grunting, Kili came in pounding ribbons across his stomach.  In his mind's eye, he was filling up Bilbo, thrilling Fili with the filth of it all. 

*****

Fili noted that night's bedtime was a repeat of the evening before:  soft kisses on the cheek from Bilbo and Kili, nothing more.  Fili saw the longing in their eyes, though.  He had none of the uncertainty that came with doubt of desire, making it all the more frustrating that they couldn't have just a _little_ more with the present arrangement. 

*****

Bilbo woke from a cruelly vivid dream about Thorin going through a string of lovers in Erebor.  It put an ache in his gut, thinking about Thorin enjoying all the pleasures a kingdom would have to offer a seemingly single king.  After all, Thorin's letter told him he did not think it prudent share their special secret until after Dis's own wedding.  No one would know to keep from attempting to woo (or simply please) Thorin...and Bilbo was not sure he had a right to expect Thorin to keep his prick out of strange mouths, not when Bilbo lived with three lovers.  Still, Thorin knew about those lovers and whether the dwarves of Erebor knew it or not, Thorin himself knew he had made vows.  The idea of Thorin filling his bed without him (with strangers and sycophants!) made him feel nauseated. 

Or worse--what if it was just one lover?  One lover that Thorin fell in love with, one whom could give Thorin the traditional sort of love and connection he had desired from Bilbo--the one he confessed to Bilbo he still wanted?   What if Bilbo went to Erebor to find his husband wanted a different husband altogether? 

Whether it was the fear of several random partners or one meaningful one, the opposite alternative seemed only somewhat less stomach-churning:  Bilbo didn't want Thorin to be miserable, pining, and lonely, either.  Bilbo wiped tears he couldn't remember crying.  He honestly didn't know which version of Thorin in Erebor without them was worse.  Not for the first time, he deeply regretted their living arrangements.

*****

There was a break in the bitterness of the chill.  Though not what Bilbo would consider warm, the sun was out and one's breath was barely visible in the air.  The dwarrows decided to take advantage of a chance to get out of the house and announced it was time to start the hobbits' training for the trip to Erebor.  Bilbo couldn't not seem to shake his melancholy--still rattled by his dream--and bade them go on ahead without him.

"I've a bit of a head-start on the other hobbits, you know," replied Bilbo.  "I'll make sure I catch the next lesson, to shake off my rust."

Kili could tell Bilbo was more caught in his thoughts than usual and suspected getting Bilbo out in the crisp air with a sword in his hand might do him some good.  He appealed to Bilbo's practical nature in an attempt to change his mind. 

"Mrs. Cotton, you know that thing she does with the chickens?  Well, seems the chickens think we'll be getting worse weather again soon.  The next lesson might be awhile."  
"Then I will make doubly sure I won't miss it when it comes back around.  Please, I think I would prefer to stay where it was warm today, dear heart."

Kili gazed at Bilbo, noting the softest plea in his otherwise sweet expression, a wisp of sadness behind the reassuring smile, and the hint of something in his eye Kili had seen many times before.  Understanding dawned and Kili ceased his cajoling.  He tenderly kissed Bilbo instead, resting his forehead against his for a long moment after.  

Bilbo fondly watched the three dwarrows retreat down the path on their way to find their pupils.  Holding his sword, Kili spun it idly as he walked.  Bilbo couldn't quite pinpoint why, but he found it wildly attractive.

*****

Kili sat down for a break, watching the instruction with interest.   The hobbits were catching on quickly.  Thodora, in particular, was seizing her lessons with gusto.  He made a mental note to see if Nori could give her more specialized instructions for her special, stealthy dagger when they got to Rivendell.  Bofur broke away from the group and headed towards him, sitting down too.

"I think maybe I needed this practice more than the hobbits," Bofur panted.  "I hadn't realized how much I've let my battle skills atrophy."  
 "I've been trying to keep stretched, but it isn't the same as getting outside and sparring," agreed Kili.  
"We kept it up for a while, I must say, though we started to get a litlle...distracted."  
Kili hummed in agreement.  
"Speaking of distracted, I wanted to ask you:  what's going on with Bilbo?  He didn't come with us today, and he has seemed a little down since before breakfast.  It isn't to do with our arrangement, is it?"  
"Oh, no, it isn't that," Kili assured him.  
"Then what?"  
"He misses Thorin."  
"Oh?  What has he said?"  
"He didn't have to say anything. I can tell. There is a faraway look he gets in his eye that has always belonged to Thorin, from the very beginning."

Bofur was silent for a few moments, thinking about Thorin, Bilbo, Kili, and the rocky journey they endured.

"Does it still bother you?" he asked.  "Do you have regrets about that part of the arrangement?  Or any part, really?"  
Kili smiled softly before he spoke.  "Hasn't bothered me in a long while.  Odd as it may be, the arrangement works.  Not sure it could have been any other way, though we certainly bought it with tears and confusion.  Long ago, during one of my sad times in Lake Town, I tried to imagine what it would be like if we hadn't met Bilbo at all.  The very idea was too heart-wrenching and unpleasant to bear."

Bofur's stomach twisted at the thought.  

He replied, "Aside from the fact that we wouldn't be alive without him to begin with, I know it is likely I never would have courted Fee without Bee.  Bee was someone I was comfortable with, someone I was drawn to in all aspects early in the journey, and I only had the opportunity to get to know Fee better because Fee was Bee's friend and I was close to him.  Though I found Fee fantastically attractive, I'm not sure I would have dared reach out on my own without someone--without Bee in particular--to bridge the gap between Fee's title and my lack thereof."  
Nodding sagely, Kili said, "Everything that has happened, terrible as well as blissful, has been worth it for being here, in the Shire, with Bee, you, and Fee.  I had never in all my wild, youthful imaginings considered this life, fantasy or not, and I believe despite the price we all paid, it has still been a bargain."

Bofur watched Kili's face virtually _glow_ with conviction, love, and pride as he spoke--Kili truly was a beauty--and the same feelings rose within him as he listened.  

"Aye," he managed to say past the lump of emotion in his throat.  "A bargain at almost any price."

*****

The dwarves arrived home to Bilbo cleaning.  Whereas Bofur and Fili elected to clean themselves (via a bath) instead, Kili decided to nab a rag and do his part, darting down the hall to the their bedroom.  BIlbo followed him, the smoking room next on his list to freshen up.

*****

With slow, clumsy steps, Bilbo entered the master bedroom,  His wide eyes landed on Kili.  Kili rushed to him, urging him down next to him on the bed as he spoke.

"Bee!  You're white as a sheet!  Are you okay?  What has happened?"  
"I think...I think the smoking room could be haunted," Bilbo said.

Bilbo wasn't the sort to give in to flights of fancy such as these, so Kili's eyes went wide to match.

"What makes you say that?"  
"I was in there dusting.  A feeling of dread washed over me, and...oh, you're going to think it sounds ridiculous."  
"Bee, we've lived with a shapeshifter, we know a wizard, we've dealt with a dragon, and we've met our Makers without dying.  I promise I will listen to whatever you say with an open mind."  
"Whispers.  I heard whispers."  
"What did they say?"  
"Your name, and mine, Bofur's, and Fili's, too."  
"Okay, that's got my attention.  Whom could it be?  Your parents?"  
"No, I don't think so.  After they were gone, I'll confess I waited, waited for months like a fauntling, thinking perhaps...but no.  Not ever.  Also, I imagine if they would, if they could, it would be more comforting than hissed names and a cold feeling in my middle."  
"Who lived here before?"  
"No one.  My father built Bag End."  
"You know, Fee and Bo were saying they don't enjoy smoking anymore, and you and I have long since preferred to smoke in the cold...."  
Bilbo hummed, picking up the threads of Kili's thoughts.  "I might get my more important keepsakes out of there and leave it be for a while."

Kili recalled Fili's odd snooping in the glory box.  

"I don't think it is a bad idea," he said.  "There's that storage area where Bag End's excavation ends."  
"I wasn't thinking I'd send my treasures into _exile_ , Kee!" said Bilbo, aghast.  
Kili held up his hands.  "Just a suggestion!  You were the one who didn't think it was wise to leave your mithril shirt in a box in the foyer, if you recall."

Bilbo nodded, remembering the ring and how Gandalf had said to hide it.  

"Isn't that odd, now?  I forgot why I had it in there at all.  Now that you mention it, that's probably the best place for it for at the moment.  I hope my mother would forgive me."  
"Especially if the whispers are from her!" Kili said, grinning.  "After all, you _did_ move her treasure chest out of her original spot to begin with."  
"I'd break every last piece of her porcelain if I thought she would materialize--even just once--to scold me," Bilbo replied sadly.  
Kili's smile faded quickly.  "Bee.  Oh, Bee, I'm sorry.  I didn't mean to make light like that.  I would never, ever disrespect your wonderful Mam."  
Bilbo swallowed around the lump in his throat and blinked back tears.  "I know.  You know as well as anyone what it is like to...to lose...well, you know what it is like."  
Kili wrapped his arms around Bilbo.  "I do, my jewel.  I do know and I didn't mean to be so flippant.  I thought I was being cute but anything that makes you cry is the furthest thing from!"  
"It is strange," said Bilbo quietly.  "I've not cried for them in a long while.  I don't know what is going on in there, but I'm almost livid it isn't my parents."  
"I know.  I'm sorry."  
"It isn't you, Kee.  I can't tell you why I'm this emotional about it, to tell you the truth.  I guess it was easier not to believe in spirits at all than to believe, to believe she's not, that they're not-" Bilbo's voice hitched.  
Kili patted Bilbo's head.  "Shhh.  I know.  I know."

*****

After dinner, Kili and Bilbo fidgeted while Fili and Bofur played their instruments.  Their personal game had run its course, more than served its purpose, and the couple itched to get each other into bed--though Kili planned first on teasing Bilbo for a little while that he would have to wait until the morning.  However, it seemed rude to rush off to bed too early, leaving Fili and Bofur behind...especially when these restrictions between the couples still felt so new.

Eventually, Kili announced,  "Well, that's bed for me, then."

The others stood and stretched.

"Aye, I suppose me as well," Bofur said.

The quartet glanced between each other.  Knowing Fili was still curious (and rather missing the deeper kisses himself), Bofur spoke up for the both of them.

"I confess, I'm not sure how to behave right now.  Obviously, we will not be climbing into the master bed naked or leaving doors open, but can I--can _we_ \--claim kisses?"  
"Kisses were never out of the question," Kili replied.  
"Lovers' kisses, though?  Not to take it past the agreed-upon propriety, mind, but it has been a couple days without them and we find ourselves hopeful for the opportunity if it is still within bounds," clarified Bofur.  
Bilbo replied, "I don't think any of us intended to forego those particular affections...at least I didn't."  
"Nor I," Kili said.  
"Good," Fili chimed in.  "I was a little worried myself."

They all moved in towards each other at once, roughly bumping shoulders.

Laughing, Kili said, "It seems we might need to coordinate a little better."

He bowed to Bofur and made a flourish in Bilbo's direction before moving himself into Fili's personal space.

"Hi," Kili murmured.  
Fili tucked an errant strand behind Kili's ear.  "Hi yourself."

Fili and Kili regarded each other, their gaze sharing all that needed said for the moment.  Kili hugged Fili close, nuzzling into his neck.  Fili kissed Kili's hair, loosening his hold on him to drop another kiss to his cheek.  Kili turned his head to press his lips to Fili's.  Though the kiss was not overly long (nor overly wet), it carried the whispers of promise.  Kili's and Fili's pulses each raced from the thrill of it.

***

Bilbo expected to be swooped into Bofur's arms.  Instead, a tender palm cradled the back of Bilbo's neck and Bofur lovingly touched his forehead to his.  They stayed that way for a few breaths.  Bringing the other hand up to cup Bilbo's face, Bofur leaned in to languorously claim his mouth.  It was tantalizing and over all too soon, in Bilbo's estimation.

***

Fili stepped in next, feeling inexplicably shy when faced with the prospect of kissing Bilbo again.  When he looked into Bilbo's eyes, however, the memory of the hurt he inadvertently caused him flashed within him and the shyness passed.  He kissed Bilbo with a careful, slow-burning passion, hoping to wordlessly pass onto Bilbo's tongue his intention to make up for his past mistakes.

***

Kili grinned at Bofur and Bofur smiled back. 

"So, what about us?" Kili said.

Bofur recalled Fili's observation about himself and Kili.  

"I don't know, Beautiful," Bofur drawled in reply. "Want to try shaking off this oddness we've been skirting around and giving a little go?"  
Kili grinned wider.  "May as well.  It is going to be a tough several decades sharing a bed with those two if we can't even manage a little smooch."  
"You've read my mind."

Bofur pulled Kili's mouth to his, lips moving together, Kili's tongue darting out to explore.  Delicately, Bofur licked back, though neither deepened it further before parting again.

"Well now," Bofur exhaled.  "I think...aye, I do believe I would be amenable to doing that again."  
Flirting back, Kili said, "And I believe I might be looking forward to it."

***

The couples split off to their respective rooms, all four hard as stone.

*****

Kili no longer had any intention of pretending Bilbo might have to wait until morning to resume their bedroom activities.  In fact, _he_ was apt to to start begging as soon as they shut the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! And neither is this story. More to come.
> 
> Thank you to all that keep the faith. I love you.


	35. A Bag End Update For Hobbit Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short Bag End chapter in honor of Hobbit Day

Much like Mrs. Cotton (and her chickens) predicted, the weather turned bitter that week; biting wind shook the shutters. 

With the turn in the weather, the next few days and nights went much the same for the residents of Bag End: comfortable and affectionate domesticity until bedtime, then separate rooms for the couples. Twice they shared end-of-the-evening kisses, though it did not happen nightly...despite Fili's preference to the contrary.

*****

The break they were taking suited Kili better than he thought it would...not that he wished it to continue it indefinitely! For the first time in a long time, feelings were in the open and there was no drama to attend to. Sure, there were the wee, irritable arguments that came with cold days stuck indoors and early sunsets--there wasn't as much maintenance at Bag End to keep them occupied during the old months as there was at Beorn's--but the uncertainty and the disquiet of the previous months was not there.

*****

One evening, playing music after dinner by the fire, Fili traded fiddle solos with Kili while Bofur accompanied them with his whistle and Bilbo kept time. The song was large improvisational and went on a good spell longer than the more structured tunes they knew between them. At its end, Fili kept his gaze on Kili until it was returned.

Catching Kili's eye was different on these quiet nights. The soft mirth and smile Fili had always found so endearing, so comforting, were now giving him altogether different sensations. The gleam in those eyes had begun to flutter his middles. Though impish, Kili was always easy to read with his emotions. Fili saw the love and curiosity there, which only made the flutters beat faster.

*****

Bilbo had taken Bofur's observation of the lack of courting to heart. It had always bothered him he hadn't had much of a courtship with Thorin. Though he had mindfully avoided the same mistake with Kili, he had taken far too many liberties with Bofur's and Fili's bodies without the gestures of affection to accompany them. He had decided he would use this interval in between their bedplay to remedy that mistake, hoping in the process to keep them feeling cherished and dear in the absence of the more carnal expressions of affection.

He started by bringing Fili and Bofur small tokens not dissimilar to the ones he gave Kili. One day, he brought them each something special home from the (now indoor) market. Another afternoon, he seized the opportunity to procure a sizable block of special wood for Bofur to shape. All three of them received warmer knit tunics from Wilibald, while Fili was specifically gifted particular pastries from the Cotton's because Bilbo knew Fili loved attempting to reverse engineer the recipes nearly as much as he loved devouring them. Because Kili loved it so, Bilbo made sure he sang every day.

*****

Answering a knock on the door, Bilbo came face to face with an only vaguely familiar dwarf from Ered Luin. Re-introducing himself as Anicho (but encouraging Bilbo to call him Aake), the dwarf explained he had come with deliveries for the princes.

"In this weather?" Bilbo gasped.  
"Aye," Aake answered. "It was said that if some of these items did not make it here by the second week of December, they might as well not come at all!"  
Bilbo put his hands on his hips. "And who would make such outrageous demands? That doesn't sound like Fili or Kili either one. Oh, where are my manners? Come in, come in...it is far too cold out there! The bundles will be fine on the porch for a few moments."  
Gratefully coming indoors, Aake said, "Well, it was not so much the princes' demands as they were my employer's. No one accepting royal coin wants to displease, you can imagine."  
"Likely one of them hoped out loud it came before the--" Bilbo stopped himself just short of saying the word _wedding_. "--before Yule, and your employer did the rest."  
Aake shrugged. 

Bilbo peeked outside again, counting four rather large parcels as well as several medium-sized ones. 

"Surely you didn't bear those by yourself all the way from Ered Luin with no wagon?"  
Replied Aake, "No, thank the Maker! I have two traveling companions, a wagon, and a pony."  
"And they are...where?"  
"Making their way to board the pony somewhere warmer than outside air and buying themselves some ale to warm their own insides as well."  
Bilbo frowned, shifting his lips closer to the left side of his face. "So you were the one stuck walking back in the cold, then? Well, that hardly seems right. Let us make you something to eat to chase away the chill."

*****

Fili, Kili, and Bofur brought in the packages while Bilbo made their delivery dwarf some lunch. They tore into their prizes as soon as the last one made it through the door.

All three of them were the new owners of two new pairs of boots each, fulfillment of orders they had made in person during their excursion to Ered Luin. It was long overdue for all of them. Also contained within the bundles were the clothes Fili and Bofur had hoped to wear when they wed, boots for Ori, and some additional things for Ori and Kili besides. Ori and Kili had been enjoying adding more hobbit-like garments to their wardrobes (to the utter delight of their partners), though they still took pride in wearing dwarven-made garments, too.

*****

Originally, Aake had bitterly cursed drawing the short straw that left him with the burden of delivery and a cold walk back to the Green-whatever (where his companions would be no doubt halfway to sauced by the time he showed up). Filled with hot, delicious hobbit food, he left Bag End having been tipped very handsomely, sent off with an extra fur to warm his trip home, and personally escorted back to the Green-whatever by Bofur of The Fourteen so he would not be lost. Aake firmly decided he had been the lucky one after all.

There had been talk of more dwarrows relocating to Erebor in the spring and summer; this afternoon had him thinking perhaps he would be one of them.

*****

With Bofur helping their guest and Kili otherwise occupied three rooms away, Bilbo took the opportunity to steal a private conversation he had been meaning to have with Fili for a few days.

"You know, Fee," Bilbo ventured, "Kee told me the two of you have had words about your...well, your predicament, for lack of a better term."  
"Predicament?" echoed Fili.  
"Yes, about your boundaries with each other, at least as they pertain to him when it comes to you. It may seem odd, but I wanted you to know I'm glad to hear you've talked it out and are considering something more equal. He had been so awfully confused."  
Fili sighed heavy. "I know he had been. I apologize for my part in causing your love heartache, Bee. I know how riled I've gotten when you've upset Bo."  
"To tell you the truth, I'm still a mite confused myself as to why there were such particular exclusions for Kee to begin with. I mean, I know what you've _said_ , I just don't understand, well, why."

Fili paused for a moment before deciding there was no point in playing coy.

"You know--or least I think I may have told you before--I played as I gradually came of age. It was tongues and hands, mostly. Those explorations never meant anything. At the risk of sounding rude, most of the time I didn't care about anything but the good time. Immature fumblings with sticky endings, that was all they were."  
"May I ask then what changed with Kee and Bo? With Bo, you were terrified to take things past mouthplay even though you were in love. With Kee, you won't reciprocate even mouthplay with him...though from your insinuations, it sounds like you might know the taste of a few Ered Luin citizens."  
Flushing red in his cheeks, Fili conceded. "Aye, I cannot deny that and be truthful. They weren't Kee, though, or my Bo. With Bo, with Kee, it means something...it _does_ something to me, something I never noticed or cared to notice when I was idly slipping my cock in mouths back home."

Bilbo licked his lips thoughtfully, took a breath, and squared his shoulders in preparation for an answer he might not like. 

"If I may, another question then: Why was it so easy with me?"  
"Well, you say easy...we waited a long time, you know. But you're asking why I've tasted you, why you've felt me in ways Kili yet hasn't?"  
Bilbo nodded.  
Sheepish, Fili glanced at the floor. "It was to be a bit of fun, yeah? I didn't think it would affect me as profoundly, us being...well, friends? Family? I don't know. It seemed enough that we cared about one another, battle bonded in one way, bound by the taboo pleasures we've borne witness to in another, I just didn't think it would..."

He trailed off, not quite able to describe what he wanted without being offensive. Risking a glance up at Bilbo, instead of the hurt and confusion he expected, he saw a soft curiosity in his face.

"And now?" asked Bilbo.

Fili swallowed, marshaling his courage to look into Bilbo's eyes. 

"I was wrong. Not about the fun part, but about what it did to me, what it still does to me. The thought of Kee touching me the way you touch me, only with our unusual life-long soul bond...I feel it every time he and I do anything physical as it is. Things, well, things changed after you and I began exploring, and after you took me to bed that day--Durin's beard, Bee!--I just...damn, I hope I'm not making a fool of myself, here."  
"I felt it, Fee," Bilbo assured him. "I was worried I was the one who was a fool, especially after your confession about your motives."  
Fili winced, taking Bilbo's hands. "I know, and I cannot apologize enough."  
"I've long since forgiven you."

Fili glanced down at their joined hands, noticing his name prominently on Bilbo's wrist. How surprising it had been to him at the time! Seeing it there, now, after the events of the weeks that had followed its creation, it brought Fili renewed comfort, warmth, and a peculiar, low thrum inside his breast.

"To be honest, regardless of my reckless youth, I would not have let you into our bed or into my body unless I felt something other than kinship or friendship for you, even if my mind had not yet caught up."

The familiarity of Fili's words struck a chord with Bilbo. 

He said, "I know now is not the time to press, but when we four have decided it is time to go to bed again, I shall be very anxious for a replay of our day--this time, for the right reasons."

The thrum inside Fili's breast intensified.


	36. An Erebor Update For Hobbit Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short Erebor chapter in honor of Hobbit Day

Dain and Balin sat at the table in Balin's quarters, drinking wine and chatting amiably.

"What do you think has gotten into our intrepid leader?" Dain asked.  
Balin shot him a knowing look. "You've noticed it, too?"  
"How could I have missed it? I wasn't going to say anything, especially since Erebor is not at all suffering from his renewed vigor--perhaps even benefiting--but my curiosity is growing too great."  
"Aye, mine as well. Thorin's zeal is only one among the odd changes that happened between here and the Shire, though it also proves to be the biggest mystery."  
Dain nodded sagely. "Too true about those odd changes. Don't you wish you went, now? I certainly do."  
Balin laughed.  
"Still," Dain pressed, "I know it is ridiculous, given that Bilbo and Kili have been confirmed to be quite officially wed, but it almost seems as though Thorin is _setting up house_ for the hobbit's visit, if you follow me."

The rest of Balin's laughter faded to a mirthless smile. He followed Dain only too well.

*****

Thorin had not been able to put his finger on his bizarre encounter with Regnad on the merchant level, nor could he put it out of his mind in the days that followed. Intrigued, Thorin began paying more attention to Regnad at council, attempting to make sense of him.

Regnad's behavior was neither untoward nor out of the ordinary during these sessions, though his work itself was exemplary. Thorin noticed he took the floor more frequently (or perhaps it was only Thorin's observation that was new), giving shrewd analysis to the projects at hand and developing his own proposals that had several members congratulating him on his political and business acumen. 

Thorin had to admit the dwarf was popular. Balin, in particular, continually nominated him to committee and requested he sit at the king's end of the long table with them when the council ate as a group. Even Dís liked him, which meant Dwalin didn't, but Dwalin's demeanor was such that few people noticed.

At these meals, Regnad often looked Thorin in the eye and spoke to him with the confidence of a dwarf who knew himself well. The curious simpering outside the soapmakers had not shown itself again. Though he still preferred the conversation and company of Nabbi, Thorin had to admit Regnad was developing an undeniably captivating presence within the council. 

*****

Thorin tossed and turned in his sleep, troubled by a dark, too-familiar dream.

_The pines were burning and Azog was astride his great, white warg. Azog stared down Bilbo, who was guarding Thorin's unconscious form. Bilbo, clearly terrified, swiped clumsily at the air in an attempt to keep them away from Thorin. Azog gave the command for Bilbo's death and his crew advanced, three to one on warg-back. Bilbo did not flee, holding his ground and doing his best to protect Thorin's body, though his expression made it plain his hope was slim. There were shouts and dwarves charged--Dwalin, Fili, and Kili at the lead--distracting two of the three and giving Bilbo a chance to fight back. Bilbo fiercely and successfully defended himself from the last warg and rider, but was set upon by Azog and his mount. They surprised him and knocked him down hard, leaving him to do little but scramble backwards until he hit a fallen log. The cry of the great eagles split the sky._

Thorin sat straight up, shouting Bilbo's name. Glancing around, he was surprised to see he was in his own chambers. He felt the bed next to him. He slept alone.

With a mixture of relief and longing, Thorin sighed, "Bilbo."

Though he remembered the first of it from when it happened on the journey, Thorin wondered how accurate the later portion of his dream was. It seemed far more severe than the synopsis he had gotten after he woke up after the battle and, although the dwarves spoke of Bilbo's heroism, Bilbo hadn't claimed any of their praise. It did something to his middles thinking of Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Dwalin throwing all concern for themselves aside to protect him. Seeing his dream-Bilbo stand so resolute over him--back in those days when Thorin treated him so rudely, before Thorin had gotten his chance to apologize--ready to die for him, well...Thorin imagined if he had been awake, had seen Bilbo like this prior to their estrangement, he would not have despaired as gravely. Breathing deeply, his pulse grew closer to normal. He rolled over and sought sleep once more.

The sound of the eagles echoed still in his mind.

*****

Chatting on their way to lunch, Balin and Dwalin stopped to see if Thorin was available to join them. Since the door to his office chamber was slightly ajar, they let themselves in. They had been expecting to see Thorin perusing papers, writing, or possibly even stealing a short nap. Instead, Thorin had a leg out to his side and propped up by his desk while his torso was bent forward, facing downward and giving himself a close view of his shin.

"What in Durin's name are you doing?" Balin asked.

Thorin looked up, sheepish and caught out. "I'm...uh...stretching."  
"Stretching," Dwalin repeated skeptically.

Righting himself, Thorin thought fast. He was not about to tell Balin or Dwalin he was striving to become more supple to bed his husband in the spring. He cleared his throat and pulled a superior tone (specifically for Dwalin).

"I see, so you do not deem keeping the body trained a wise or valuable use of a warrior's time?"  
Affronted, Dwalin blustered back, "Of course I do! I never said-"  
"-You're not warring much lately, Thorin," Balin diplomatically interjected before Dwalin worked himself up the froth into which Thorin was obviously baiting him.  
"And we know that can change in an instant," said Thorin. "Nothing wrong with keeping a sound form."  
"Indeed," sniffed Dwalin.

With the potential embarrassment averted, Thorin agreed a touch of lunch would be welcome.


	37. Handling Their Desires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lads at Bag End are inching towards the wedding...and nowhere near fast enough.

The weather was particularly awful late one Shire morning: dreary, cold, and sleety. Wrapped in a blanket, Bofur snoozed as close as he could get his favorite chair scooted to the parlor fire. Bilbo sat engrossed in a book nearby. Fili and Kili flopped on Fili's bed as they had during many gloomy days deep in the past, huddled under the covers and talking.

"What do you think is going on in Erebor right now?" Fili asked.  
"I have to hope whatever it is, it is going well."  
"Do you think Dwalin has said anything to Mam about what he knows?"  
Kili turned to look at him, aghast. "Be reasonable! There's no earthly way Dwalin would breathe a word to her."  
"Okay, okay! I was just wondering out loud, you know."  
Kili spent a few moments wondering, too. "Do you think Thorin has told anyone about his wedding to Bee?"  
" _Now_ who is speaking unreasonably?"  
"Well, that is a bit different than us being in bed together. We signed that document. I figure someone is going to see it sooner or later."  
Shaking his head, Fili said, “Thorin has a lot to lose, and would have to deal with Mam besides. My bet is that he will not tell anyone anything until at the very least after Mam's wedding, though my gut tells me no one will see that document unless circumstances become unforeseeably dire."

Kili grunted in dissatisfaction.

"What?" Fili demanded.  
" _What_ what?"  
"I know that noise. What's the problem?"  
"Bee isn't expecting a state welcome as a consort or anything, but I think it is going to weigh on his heart if Thorin intends to keep him a secret indefinitely."  
"Bee would understand," said Fili. "He is rather acutely aware the situation with you and Thorin--with all of us--is unusual. He also supports Thorin being king, sometimes more than Thorin himself does. Honestly, I'm not sure what we'll be riding into when we go to Erebor, but I do know in my heart that Thorin only wants us protected and comfortable."

Kili turned to snuggle into Fili's side, comforted by the reassurance, and Fili stroked his hair in reply. A short period of amiable silence passed between them before the conversation continued.

"Um, Kee," Fili said, clearing his throat nervously. "So this, this wine Bo and I will be drinking in a few days...what do I need to know?"  
Kili grinned against the fabric of Fili's tunic. "I've told you about it before."  
"Sure, hints and teases and a tale or two, but what is it like truly?"  
Sighing in blissful remembrance, Kili replied, "Overwhelming and intense."  
"In what way? And if you say 'the sexual way,' I'm going to thwap you."  
"Let's say it like this: If you had still been experiencing any fear with yielding down to the spirit with Bo, we never would have gifted you that bottle."  
Fili stuck his tongue out at his brother. "Still too vague."  
"Well, gee, your _highness_ , I apologize for my displeasing description," mocked Kili. "Would His Excellency prefer if I dispense with elevated discourse in favor of straight out talking dirty?"  
Barking a laugh, Fili teased back, "Maybe. What are you going to do about it, drudge?"

Kili giggled, poking him in the ribs in his play act of royal defiance. Fili flailed and reached out to tickle Kili on both sides. They wrestled and rolled, knocking off blankets as they went, with Fili ending up on top. They gazed at each other, still grinning and gasping for breath. It did not escape Fili's notice that Kili's eyes darted to Fili's lips more than twice. Leaning down, Fili hesitated for a moment. Kili licked his lips and Fili descended the rest of the way.

Moments passed, or perhaps it was hours. In either case, Kili could taste from Fili's kisses how close this scorching embrace was to burning away the boundaries of their carnal truce. Oh, though--he was loath to stop!

"I'm ready," Fili whispered.  
Scarcely daring to breathe, Kili replied, “Ready to what?”  
"Ready to put my mouth on you."

Kili shuddered out a moan. Fili teased his teeth along Kili's neck, further risking his resolve.

"Fee..."  
"I want to suck. You. Off," Fili punctuated each syllable by flicking his tongue against Kili's skin.

Closing his eyes, Kili reveled in the moment, in the thrill of the confession, in the traces of lightning that seemed to be skittering throughout his core. The desires of his flesh warred with his reason and honor. A brief moment of clarity gave him enough strength to still Fili’s hands, which had been busily unlacing his trousers.

“Fee, please, you must stop.”  
“Don’t say that,” Fili sighed, closing his eyes in what he knew was his defeat.  
“I have to say it--for both of us. I don’t wish to, not in my body nor in my heart, but we promised the others.”  
Fili slumped against him. “I know we did.”  
“It was not our exact idea, you and me,” comforted Kili, urging Fili up to hold him. “But in the end, all four of us discussed and agreed to pause our mutual bedplay while we worked out what should be happening in the daylight. We must keep our word, Fee. You know we do.”

Fili’s face filled with hot shame. Regardless of his desire, he should not have tempted them both into dishonoring their words or their partners.

“Besides,” Kili continued, “I do not disagree with the idea that you and Bo should be wed before we continue. None of us, save for perhaps somewhat Bo, foresaw how rapidly opening our beds was going to affect us. Letting the two of you dwell within your vows before we move forward will only make it better. Trust me when I say you and Bofur will appreciate it—and the decisions that follow—all the more.”

Humming in solemn agreement, Fili stayed in Kili’s arms. Neither spoke much again until they rose.

 

 

*****

Though Kili made him feel better in his own way, Fili could not shake the shame and the touch of awkwardness he felt after his transgression. He and Bofur had been discussing working on their smial more, though neither one had yet spent a lot of time actually _doing_. It served as a good excuse to get them out of Bag End for the night with enough busy work for Fili to sort his mind.

Bofur didn’t extend much of an argument, even with the cold and wet of the unpleasant day. He was glad for an excuse to be gone for an evening. The novelty of listening to Kili and Bilbo while not being able to touch until after the wedding had worn off completely. Besides, he reasoned that perhaps working on their new home would renew his interest in it. He did not regret the romantic gesture (nor the impending marriage the purchase had spurred), but he could not help but rue how the reality of having their own home meant the eventual leaving of Bag End.

They packed up a few supplies and were gone by late afternoon.

 

 

*****

As he stewed vegetables for their dinner, Kili also stewed his own unwelcome thoughts. He had always been happy for Fili's and Bofur’s sweet story of mutually purchasing their house as a proposal, and doubly so because it was one of Bilbo’s family stories that spurred it on, further braiding their lives all together. However, Fili and Bofur actually _moving_ into that house was a different thing altogether. The idea bothered him.

“What is it?” asked Bilbo.  
“What do you mean?”  
“Your posture and those deep, weary sighs tells me something is weighing on you. Perhaps we can carry the weight together if you share it with me.”

Through his melancholy, Kili quirked a brief smile at the hobbit he loved so.

“Fee and I have never lived apart.”

 _Ah,_ Bilbo thought to himself. _How did I not see this coming?_

“Dear heart, what did you think was going to happen when they bought a house?”  
“Exactly this…and not this, all at the same time.”  
Bilbo pulled in his bottom lip, nodding. “I understand.”  
“It just…it feels more _real_ when they’re spending the night and putting the work into getting it ready.”  
Raising his eyebrows, Bilbo said, “You’d prefer it remained an abstract concept, would you?”

Sheepishly, despite wanting to seem strong and wise for his husband, Kili could only agree.

Bilbo took Kili in his arms. “Me too, Kee. Me too.”

Kili clung to him gratefully.

 

 

*****

It had been two hours since they arrived at their house, yet Bofur and Fili managed to get very little done besides puttering and procrastinating. Bofur could tell Fili’s mind wasn’t in it any more than Bofur’s own heart was, though neither one of them seemed to be in a rush to go back to Bag End that evening, either.

Fili gratefully accepted Bofur’s idea of breaking and going to the Dragon for dinner. Quite unlike the last time they went from their new home to the pub, it was bustling to the point of being uncomfortable. This time, they did not linger long enough for a multitude of beers or deep childhood confessions.

Returning to their project, the food in Fili’s belly improved both his focus and his mood. He sat down with some wood that Bofur had set aside for trimming and sketched on it the pattern he wished Bofur to carve out when the time came.

“Fee, what brought this burst of productivity about tonight?” Bofur asked.  
“How do you mean?”  
“The last-minute decision to be here this evening, doing this?”

Fili could have rattled off a handful of reasons, all plausible, and that would have been the end of it. Bofur’s open gaze, one that had a spark of its own quiet pain, absorbed any desire Fili had to dance over the issue.

“Truthfully, I did something today that disquieted me. I was embarrassed with myself and wanted a night of only me and perhaps you, sorting my mind while my hands stayed busy.”  
“So you wanted an easy excuse but still wanted to be productive. That’s my Fee,” Bofur said, patting Fili lovingly on the cheek.  
“You’re not going to ask me what I did?”  
“Aye, I want to know, but you’ll tell me when you are ready…or you won’t. Regardless, it is your tale to tell.”

Fili silently thanked Kili for keeping them honest. He wasn’t sure he could have taken Bofur being so understanding otherwise. Out loud, he confessed to Bofur how he had tried to seduce Kili: how it started, how it escalated, and how Kili had been their voice of reason.

“I can see where that might warrant a little distance, especially for someone as introspective as my Golden One,” Bofur agreed. “It does sadden me you keep using the word ‘ashamed,’ however.”  
“How so?”  
“Simply because we agreed to suspend bedplay outside our bonds didn’t mean it was going to be an easy sacrifice for everyone but you. It wasn’t as though Kili wasn’t kissing you back for a good, long minute while you were kissing him, right? So, he was heartily on board, despite his reason winning out in the end. I know I’ve had many lewd thoughts of my own these past several days and I’m quite certain Bilbo has been madly tempted by you…as has Kili, even prior to today. You are hardly the only one struggling with handling your desires. “  
Fili blinked. “You think…you think they’ve been interested in me like that, even though we’re taking this break?”  
“They’ve been outright _craving_ you—I’d bet my hat on it. Cor, the way they’ve looked at you!”  
“Really?”  
“Undeniably.”

Fili smiled, feeling better—and more confident.

“And what about you?” he purred. “Have you been craving me?”

Bofur wrapped his arms around Fili, kissing him passionately.

“Aye,” he replied when they parted.  
“You know, we have our mattress now and that basic frame you mocked up. It isn’t the deluxe bed it will grow to be but-“  
“-We’ll work around it.”

Bofur swept Fili’s feet off the ground and carried him to the makeshift bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still here! Slow going, but going still. 
> 
> Love you.


	38. Interlude: Sleeping Arrangements, Fili and Bofur Wedding Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is the eve of the beginning of Yule...and the night before Fili and Bofur are wed.

In spite of Fili’s attempted indiscretion, the residents of Bag End managed to avoid further incidents and additional awkwardness in the final days leading to the wedding. However, it was not without the light undercurrent of tension that had been present since the ill-fated tea around the table wherein their sexual truce was first agreed upon.

More than once, Bilbo wondered if he had somehow made things worse by trying to make them better— _and it wouldn’t be the first time_ , he chided himself—but this short period of unease was far preferable to the emotional collision course he had feared they had been on. 

There was also the matter of what Fili and Bofur would decide. A reasonable part of Bilbo’s original argument (and the part Kili seemed to agree with most, as well) was Fili and Bofur making their vows to _each other_ before pressing ahead with pledges to others involving body, heart, and soul. Fili’s and Bofur’s insistence that nothing would change had all the dwarves assuming that the wedding night was going to be the last evening of the aforementioned truce. Bilbo was reluctant to put his faith in that, though. As much as Bilbo hoped otherwise, it was always a risk that Fili and Bofur could very well decide this arrangement wasn’t good for them. He ran through the worst scenarios in his mind more often than he fantasized about the best--though weren’t the fantasies about the best so very stimulating?--preparing how he and his sweet Kili would deal with such a spirit-shaking disappointment. 

*****

Bilbo and Kili cooked a veritable (“and literal,” Kili had giggled) princes’ feast for Bofur and Fili on the eve of their wedding. Though they had plans to see friends and neighbors tomorrow—the point of having built-in Yule parties to attend being paramount to the original decision regarding the wedding date—Fili and Bofur had requested this particular evening's dinner be in the coziness of their beloved Bag End with just the four of them.

Once it had become real to him, Kili could not get the thought of Fili moving to his own smial out of his mind. That Fili and Bofur seemed so sentimental about Bag End themselves—wanting to spend special moments here, asking Bilbo to have their very wedding here, and so on—only increased Kili’s ache. 

*****

With dinner and dessert cleared, the four sat near the parlor hearth, discussing the planned events of the next 30 or so hours.

“Believe me, it is going to go so quickly,” Kili told Fili and Bofur.  
Bilbo agreed, emphatically adding, “You’ll turn around tomorrow evening and swear it had only been morning moments before.”  
“And speaking of tomorrow evening-” 

Kili paused, glancing at Bilbo. Receiving a small encouraging nod, he continued. 

”-We would like you to have our master bedroom for the night.”  
“Where will you sleep, then? What will you do?” Fili asked.  
Replied Bilbo, “Same as you did for ours: find somewhere else to spend the night.”  
“We couldn’t!” insisted Bofur.  
Bilbo folded his arms, preparing to stand his ground. “And just why not, I’d like to know? This is your home, too, and there is no better bed in the whole of The Shire than the one you made us. Therefore, there is no better place to drink your wine and consummate your bond.”  
“At least stay in our room, then, so you are not fully displaced for the night,” Bofur suggested.  
“No,” said Kili. “As Fili told me more than once on the occasion of my wedding, it is sacred and the two of you should have a space all your own. As your new smial—“

Kili’s voice caught in his throat quite unexpectedly. He cleared it and tried to move on without breaking again.

“—new smial will not be ready for your wedding, this is the least we can do for you.”  
Fili’s face glowed with affection as he spoke. “That is wholly unnecessary, but immensely wonderful. We accept the gift gratefully and humbly.”  
Reaching out to clasp Kili’s hand, Bilbo replied, “It is our pleasure entirely. The thought also occurs: how do you plan to sleep tonight? Together?”  
“Well, Bo and I are not playing the same game with abstinence you and Kee did, not purposefully, but we’ve discussed it and,” Fili paused bashfully, “sleeping the night before your wedding as your Pairs was special to us both and we hoped you each might consider extending your role as our Pairs in similar fashion?”

The shy uncertainty in Fili’s voice squeezed Bilbo’s heart.

“Of course!” he said. “We would adore it, wouldn’t we?”  
Kili agreed, “Absolutely! Just this afternoon we had been discussing how much we would love to do that, but we didn’t dare presume to request it for ourselves!”

Fili and Bofur both exhaled in relief, their entire postures changing. Kili wondered how long they had been waiting to ask.

Beaming, Bilbo said, “That settles it, then. The only thing left is to figure who sleeps where. I think because Bo and I had the master bedroom the last time we split out with our Pairs for a wedding, it is only fair Kee and Fee have it this time. That is, as long as you would not mind bedding down in your room this time, Bo.”  
“I think that sounds delightfully fair,” said Bofur.  
“Wait! What’s fair about you not using your own room?” Kili asked Bilbo.  
“It is _our_ room, dear heart, and for tonight--for the eve of your brother’s wedding--it is _your_ room.”

Kili flashed Bilbo one of his heart-melting smiles, proving he was still quite capable of stirring up all the quivers in Bilbo’s middles with a single look. 

*****

Washed up and readying for sleep, Fili prepared the fire as Kili turned down the blankets. They had managed to acquire nightshirts since the last time they did this and Fili was grateful as they were more comfortable than regular clothes…and less tempting than no clothes at all.

Fili momentarily wondered what awkwardness this night might bring. After all, when he cuddled as Kili’s Pair last time, they had not truly been lovers. A single, soft glance between them as they climbed into bed clarified any uncertainty: tonight they were brothers. Fili blew out the candle and settled in while Kili snuggled against his side as he had hundreds of times before. 

They were silent so long that each dwarf thought the other might have gone ahead to sleep. 

“Kee?”  
Kili smiled in the dark. “Yeah?”  
“You know, I never thought in all the ages of the earth that we would fall in love when we left Ered Luin. I hadn’t expected it for you, and I certainly hadn’t expected it for me.”  
“Me either. When I met Bee, it was the biggest shock. The feeling was so unfamiliar, I didn’t even know what to call it.”  
“And then we got an even bigger shock when we figured out that special hobbit secret,” Fili said, his smirk reflecting in his voice.  
“Apparently it isn’t just hobbits, either, according to Bee.”  
“That’s what he has said. Still, I had been in and out of a few towns and never heard a single whisper about such things, therefore who knows?”  
“So we went from never imagining being in love to love, sex, marriage and-“ Kili stopped short, not sure how to describe the changes between Fili and himself.  
“-And a brand new adventure,” Fili finished for him, knowingly. “Seems as though we had to leave Ered Luin to meet the lovers that helped us eventually find each other, too.”  
Kili rather liked the way that sounded. “Yeah.”  
“I marvel on a regular basis. How we met Bee, how Bee mustered his courage to help the lot of us, how I found Bo, how any of us fell into this arrangement—especially given the way dwarrows are—how…how any of it happened. Not the very least of which would be someone as unbelievable as Bo wanting to spend his life with me, not because I’m a prince but pretty much in spite of it.”  
“Make no mistake: Bo equally cannot believe he managed to get you to look twice at him, much less that he is marrying you tomorrow.”  
“I know...isn’t it wild? Anyway,” Fili cleared his throat, “the point of bringing any of it up was to ask you if it was like this for you the night before you got married? Thinking back over it all, stunned, as though it all somehow had to be a dream?”  
Almost too quiet to be heard, Kili confessed, “I’ve been married for weeks and it scarcely seems real, even now. I will catch myself kissing him, sometimes, and my heart stutters as I realize I am kissing _Bilbo_ , as though it was the first time it had ever happened. There are times I’ll sit in the parlor, looking around and wondering how something this lovely became my life.”  
“I wonder if it will ever seem real?”  
Kili sighed contentedly and leaned warm against him. “I’m happy to spend the rest of my years figuring it out and I’ll bet you will be too. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.”  
Fili kissed his hair. “Night, Kee.”  
“Night, Fee.” 

*****

Side by side, a clear foot separating their bodies from touching under the covers of Bofur’s bed, Bilbo and Bofur each stared at the ceiling, scarcely daring to move a muscle lest they be tempted to violate the current agreement.

Bilbo--attempting casual conversation to disguise the trepidation over their physical proximity--said, "So, erm, tomorrow then...I hope it isn't too cold for your party destinations, being as they'll be on foot."  
"We had handled worse on the journey to Erebor, I'm sure," replied Bofur amiably, thankful for the diversion himself. "Besides, Fee has told me he is holding out hope it will snow tomorrow. If his wish is to be fulfilled, some cold will be required."  
"Oh? He truly wants snow?"  
"Aye. He loves it. He said snow seems to make everything sort of muffled and peaceful, like time has stopped or something. He wanted that pretty, soft atmosphere as the backdrop for our wedding. Honestly, his favorite is when it is snowing on top of snow, but he probably won't get that tomorrow."  
"Not when there wasn't a scrap of it on the ground tonight, unfortunately."

Fond and dreamy, Bilbo considered this new insight into Fili's romantic nature and rolled over to face Bofur to remark upon it. Seeing Bofur so close, able to feel the heat from his shoulder, Bilbo rapidly flopped back on his back in an attempt to remember himself and regain some separation between their bodies. 

Bofur laughed hard enough to shake the mattress.

“And _what_ is so funny?" Bilbo demanded to know, already beginning to smile himself.  
“Us. This. We were doing exactly this the night before _your_ wedding, if you’ll remember.”  
Bilbo couldn't help but giggle, too. “As a matter of fact, I had been thinking of exactly that myself a few minutes ago. Funny how things change so much and yet they can stay the same.”  
“Such as our reasoning for the bed space between us both then and now?”  
“Yes. I suppose it is doubly laughable to think that we’re _still_ trying to keep ourselves honest.”  
“You’re right, though. So much else has changed and transpired between that night and this one. Last time, I had only distant dreams of being your lover. Since then, we’ve seriously discussed becoming bondmates.”

Bilbo reached out and took Bofur’s hand in the dark. 

“When you put it like that, it seems silly not to touch you at least a _little_ ,” he noted.

With an affectionate snicker, Bofur squeezed Bilbo’s hand. 

“Um, Bo?”  
“Hmm?”  
“Nevermind.”  
“No.”  
“No? What do you mean, no?”  
“I mean no. Despite the space between us, in the past several moments I've felt the tension return to your body...a clear indication something is weighing on your mind. Out with it, then.”  
“Silly, really, how the dark brings coaxes thoughts forth from the corners of one’s brain,” Bilbo said, chuckling nervously.  
“Not silly at all. Sometimes secret things are not comfortable tiptoeing out in too bright a light.” 

Bilbo considered this, focusing on the comforting warmth of Bofur’s palm against his own. When he spoke again, his voice was scarcely above a whisper.

“We meant it, Kee and I, when we said we wanted you and Fee to wait until after tomorrow to make decisions about your lives going forward with and for each other, to make them without being clouded with any lust or confusion regarding what we all four had been doing in bed. I cannot find appropriate words to describe why tomorrow will make things seem anymore changed than yesterday, yet when the two of you make your vows you’ll see it _is_ different, somehow, than the sex alone.”  
“I believe you.”  
Bilbo took a deep breath before he continued. “You and your Chosen would be pushing back against your ways, contrary to the very way you’ve been raised, if you should decide to continue with us. That feels like almost too much for a mere hobbit to ask.”  
“Yet did you and Kee not make that decision yourselves? Did you and Thorin not make it as well?”  
“We did,” replied Bilbo shakily.  
“Come here,” said Bofur, drawing Bilbo into his arms. “This is no discussion for distance. Aye, that’s it—hold me tight and share what thoughts are truly hiding in the dark.”  
Bilbo nestled into Bofur’s side, inhaling his calming scent. “It’s just…I’m scared that what I devotedly hope comes to pass and what the two of you decide for yourselves might not coincide. I don’t want to influence your decision...and yet I do. Yavanna help me, but I do. I love you, Bo. I want the continued chance to explore what it means for you to be my lover and for me to be yours.”

A wave of emotion welled up inside Bofur, nearly spilling from his eyes. 

“Oh, _Bilbo_ ,” he said. “I-“

Bofur stopped himself. He wanted to swear to Bilbo there was no worry of him choosing to leave their potential unexplored, nor would there ever be, but if he and Fili were going to keep up their end of this bargain--if these days and days of self-control were to mean anything at all--he had to wait and have his married discussion with Fili before he made reassurances.

Instead, he breathed, “You have no idea—or perhaps you do—how many months I’ve longed for you to say such things without my own confessions leading you into them. I don't know how to express to you what it means to me.”  
Hiding his head against Bofur's chest, Bilbo said, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. Tomorrow is about you and Fee, not about me and you. I should have kept that thought in the dark where it belonged.”  
“Please!” Bofur said a bit too loudly. Quieter, he implored, “Please, do not be sorry. Never, ever be sorry you trusted me with your feelings. I love you—have done practically since we first met--and although I’ve promised you not to make any final decisions for the future until I’m wed, you have to know I do and will continue to love you well, well beyond.”

Bofur felt Bilbo relax into his embrace and damned if it wasn’t such a _lovely_ feeling. Of all the things Bofur imagined to potentially transpire while alone in bed with Bilbo in the middle of their sex truce, he had not guessed this glorious warmth of soothing Bilbo's fears and having his own insecurities so thoroughly soothed in return. 

“Bo?” Bilbo murmured.  
“Hmm?”  
“May we continue to hold each other?”  
“Aye. My pleasure.”  
Humming contentedly, Bilbo said, “Good.” 

After a while, he had calmed to the point of almost drifting off when he heard Bofur softly call to him. 

“Bee?”  
“Mmm…yeah?”  
“I…I’ve missed sleeping in the same bed with you,” Bofur whispered. “I’ve missed this so much.”  
Bilbo hugged him closer. “Me too.” 

*****

Fili woke up and the room seemed abnormally bright. He was used to his darker accommodation, to be sure, but he had been in the master bedroom many times in the daylight (a lascivious tingle shot through him as he recalled a couple of _those_ memories) and it hadn’t been nearly so brilliant.

Easing out of bed, he made his way to the window and was stunned to see an expanse of sparkling white as far as he could view, interrupted here and there only by the middles of the structures that stood more than a foot high off the ground.

Sometime in the night, fully escaping his notice as he spoke quietly with Kili in the dark, it had snowed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you my dears! I love you and your comments. They feed my soul!


	39. The Wedding, Fili and Bofur Edition:  Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The residents of Bag End get ready for the Bofur and Fili's big day

Fili ran out into the hall, only to knock into his intended. They both spoke at once.

“Did you see-“  
“Bo! It snowed-”

Laughing, Bofur rubbed Fili’s shoulder. 

“I didn’t bruise my groom did I?”  
“No, but oh! Can you believe it snowed?”  
“It was a surprise and no mistake. So much, too! It had to have really come down last night to be up to the ankle by dawn. Looks like our day is going to be perfect for you after all.”  
Fili cupped Bofur’s face and kissed him. “It was already going to be perfect. This just adds another lovely layer to that perfection.”  
Leaning his forehead to Fili’s, Bofur said, “Speaking of proper starts to our wedding day, Bee is up and cooking the breakfast to end all breakfasts right now. Where is Kee?”  
“I thought the house smelled rather heavenly! After I shook him awake squealing about the weather, Kee opted to wash up first so he is out of the way for the rest of us. I’m going to go let him know food is nigh.”

Bofur grinned at Fili’s happy scurry down the hall. 

****

Once breakfast was heartily consumed, plans for the day were discussed. After a wash-up and lunch (which was standing in for Elevensies this day), it was decided the Pairs would help the brothers dress and groom in the same rooms they slept in the evening before. Bofur and Fili would then meet in the parlor of Bag End to re-plait their courting braids and crown each other with twists of evergreen (since flowers were out of season).

Discussing the day’s agenda filled Bilbo with warm nostalgia. It was almost as if he was reliving his own wedding all over again. It was a lovely feeling indeed.

Before they split off to set plans in motion, Bilbo and Kili decided to present Fili and Bofur with their gifts. 

“You gave us the wine and helped us plan our day,” Fili protested.  
“Aye, those were delightful and gift enough,” Bofur agreed.  
Bilbo shook his head. “Perhaps it could be, but it did not have to be that only, and so we have a couple surprises for you.”

Bofur lifted the lid of a soft, fabric-covered box, discovering two goblets inscribed with their names within.

“Oh!” Fili exclaimed. “Like the dwarven version of yours! Kee, did you make these?”  
Smiling bashfully, Kili replied, “I did.”  
Fili lifted one from the box to inspect it. “Oh, I love the detail! And the mirror finish of the smoother parts. Kee, these are exquisite! You’ve outdone yourself.”  
“I quite agree,” Bofur added. 

Kili beamed proudly while Bilbo handed them a quilt. 

“I do hope it will be big enough for your eventual bed,” Bilbo said. “If not, it can be a spare blanket instead of the regular cover. I used our bed as a guide when I commissioned it. The design is a tradition in the Shire. Many newlywed hobbits setting up first house receive this style as marriage gifts.”

Bofur ran his fingers over the stitching and pattern: wide, interlocking rings.

“We love it, don’t we, Fee?”  
“We need a word stronger than love. Truly, these are wonderful. Thank you both so much!”

Fili and Bofur bestowed enthusiastic hugs to punctuate their gratitude. Fili turned to Bofur next.

“As long as we are gifting, perhaps now might be a good time for me to give my intended his betrothal gift?”  
Bofur was taken aback. “Now? I thought perhaps we would do it after we returned tonight.”  
“We could, if you prefer, though I think yours might be especially useful before then.”  
“Far be it from me to deny utility, then,” drawled Bofur, winking.

Bilbo cleared his throat. “Kee? I’m sure there is something that simply must be done in the kitchen.” 

Kili agreed quickly, following him out of the room to allow Fili and Bofur privacy for their exchange. 

“Bee allowed me to hide it so you wouldn’t find it on accident in our room,” explained Fili. “I’ll need to fetch it from my secret spot.”  
Bofur laughed. “Kee helped me hide mine for the same reason.”

Fili joined him in his laughter, with another fresh peal escaping when they darted opposite directions in the hall. 

Once the gifts were retrieved, Fili found Bofur sitting on the bed with an elaborately carved wooden personals box on his lap. Bofur grinned wide when their eyes met and held out the box. Fili traded it for the bundle in his arms. Inside the box, on a bed of deep burgundy velvet, was an equally elaborately carved wide-toothed comb. Fili smoothed his fingers over the texture of the design.

Bofur’s eyes flicked between Fili’s face and fingers, taking in the reaction to the gift. 

Emotion softened Bofur’s voice. “One of my favorite memories was our first bath together, and more specifically that first time you loosed your hair for me. If you’ll recall, I had been so moved, I could no longer hold in my feelings and I confessed my love for you. By some miracle I'll never quite understand, you confessed right back. The comb is in remembrance of that night and the subsequent washing you allowed me. I could scarcely believe it then, just like I can scarcely believe I’m marrying you this afternoon.”

Fili stared at him, eyes glittering with fresh wetness. Fili’s silence made Bofur a bit nervous and he began to ramble. 

“The teeth are wide so the untangling doesn’t result in the loss of those waves I love so much-“  
“-Bo…you…this…” Fili could not seem to finish a sentence. “I’m overcome, truly. I, too, love that memory, I love this comb, and I love the box it is in.”

Fili’s happy tears finally escaped, rolling down his face. Bofur wiped them away from each side. 

“They took me a good, long while. Although it is true Ori is working on a writing project, I might have misrepresented how involved I am in it. Mostly, I used the opportunity to explain away my absences in order to attempt this surprise for you. I do apologize for the deception.”  
“You are forgiven. The box, the comb…they are some of your best work, Bo. How fortunate I am that I am the proud owner!”

Fili’s gaze drifted to the bundle. With another wide smile, Bofur set it on his lap and untied the string. He had to stand to unfold it. A fine, new cloak was revealed, heavy and lined with fur for cold winters. Already stunned, Bofur let out an audible gasp when he noticed the royal insignia embroidered on either side of the clasps.

Fili explained, “I had the cloak made, though the clasps were wrought by my own hands. I took the liberty of bordering my sigil with the key pattern of yours, as it appears in your favorite tattoo. I hope that wasn’t too presumptuous.”  
“No! This is beyond reckoning. I’ve never had a cloak so fine in either fabric or fastening!”  
“The new prince needed a royal garment.”  
“With insignia, no less! That could have been enough to take my breath away, but wearing the design you created to blend our union! It is my turn to be speechless, I think. Thank you. Thank you so very much.”  
“You are most welcome. I hope I didn’t interrupt a plan you had for later with the gifts. I just…well, I wanted it to warm you as we went from party to party later this evening.”  
“And I am glad for it, to be true! I had no specific plan for waiting to exchange later, other than to possibly be allowed once again to loose your hair and perhaps use my gift.”  
“How could I deny such a request? That is my wish, too…and more besides.”

Bofur took Fili into his arms with a flirtatious growl. 

“I am _especially_ looking forward to that ‘more’ of which you speak.” 

*****

Bilbo sent Kili ahead to check on Fili and finished carrying the last bits of hospitality to the dining room himself. Their table was set with cakes, dried fruits, nuts, and a few savories. The wedding was happening after lunch and ahead of tea, but with company in the house on such an auspicious day, not offering a layout of some manner of food was simply not an option in his mind. Luckily, Bilbo had spent the past couple days either baking or buying the key components, so all they had to do was set it from the pantry. Good thing, too, for he and Kili had cooked three out of their last four meals and he was quite done with his kitchen for a day or so.

Once finished, Bilbo checked back in on Bofur. He found him dressed in his first layer and ready for his Pair. Though Bofur didn’t have the same number of ceremonial trappings for his marriage garb the way Kili had, Bilbo set about helping him on with the rest. 

“I have jewels, of course,” Bofur said, gesturing at an array on the nightstand. “I will wear the ones crafted by my Fee for certain, though I’m not sure how much I should adorn myself. This is not a state affair in Erebor, but a Yule celebration in the Shire. What would honor Fee without being too ostentatious for your folk?”  
“It is a special case, you know. Though you are not advertising your wedding itself, you are dwarven royalty and--just as you said--it is the Yule celebration. You could get away with as much or as little as you wished with very few side-glances…well, other than the admiring ones, anyway.” Gasping in feigned shock, Bofur said, “Bilbo Baggins! Flirting so shamelessly, and on my wedding day!”  
“Wait until The Blessing,” Bilbo shot back without missing a beat, straightening the collar of the jacket he was about to take off its hanger. 

Bofur gently urged Bilbo to turn, his warm hands clasping Bilbo’s wrists gently. Bilbo met Bofur’s soft gaze. 

“Before I put that on, will you consent to braid me?”

The question came so gently, Bilbo could have easily mistaken it for a courting request and not his Pair duty. 

“It would be my honor,” he breathed in reply. 

Bilbo gestured for Bofur to sit on the bed. Grabbing a brush and the clip Bofur had selected, he climbed up behind him and began his work. 

****

Fili had chosen a dwarvish ensemble he had ordered from Ered Luin for his wedding day. Though it was not as elaborate as the royal kit Thorin had brought for Kili's wedding, it was certainly fancy for the Shire. He had intentionally chosen a similar color scheme to Kili’s, which hadn’t gone without remark when Kili saw Fili dressing.

“Blue?” asked Kili.  
“It seemed…I don’t know…right somehow that we both wed in the same shades.” He shrugged shyly. “It seemed important at the time.”  
“And so it is. I also had a rather sentimental impulse--something I wanted to do to send my big brother off to be wed--and because you were sentimental as well, now it will match.”

Kili opened a drawer and revealed the sash that had been among one of the last layers of his own wedding gear. Kili thought it blended rather well with Fili’s choices of blue and—like several of Kili’s details had been that day—it was lined with the finest threads of silver and inlaid with tiny, gleaming gems. 

“Kee,” Fili murmured in awe.  
“I would like you to wear this. Thorin said it signified the wearer as a royal of Durin’s line.”

Fili held his arms up in silent reply, allowing Kili to tie it for him. 

“What say you?” Kili asked when he finished, flashing a bright smile.

Fili pulled him in for a hug, tears spilling before he got his arms fully around. 

“It is wonderful, Kee. Wonderful and special.”

Hearing the wet emotion in Fili’s voice, Kili pushed back just enough to look at him. He cradled Fili’s face with his right hand and brushed a tear away with his thumb. 

“It wasn’t meant to make you cry, fool,” said Kili tenderly.  
Fili’s lip quirked in a half-smile. “You don’t get to call me fool. I call _you_ fool, fool.”  
“Well who is crying on the happiest day of his life?” Kili teased back. “Looks like a fool to me.”  
“Joyful tears, I assure you.”  
Kili regarded him earnestly. “You _are_ happy, Fee, aren’t you?”  
“Happier than I ever knew I would be.”

Kili pulled him back into a tight embrace, resting his chin on his shoulder. Squeezing one more time for emphasis, he said, “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all <3


	40. The Wedding, Fili and Bofur Edition:  The Blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Blessing and long-awaited kisses all around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fili's wedding braid is a waterfall braid, somewhat similar to this--https://i.ytimg.com/vi/oezddremlnE/maxresdefault.jpg

Guests had arrived earlier than planned…and definitely before Bilbo was dressed enough himself to present Bofur. Kili assured Bilbo he would take care of the propriety of hosting in his absence, though he informed them he was making Fili stay in their room until it was time (“Bo deserves to see you first,” he had insisted).

While Bilbo bustled about finishing up, Bofur amused himself by imagining Fili sitting in the master bedroom, nervous and gorgeous, waiting to be presented while Kili played host. 

Bilbo gladly—albeit more rapidly than he had planned--took the opportunity and excuse of the wedding to dress up for his dwarrows in the glitter they enjoyed. Though he left the crown stowed away, he chose a few key jewels as well as an anklet, the latter specifically due to how pleasing Kili and Bofur found such things on him. He topped his look off with the hair clip Kili had made him back at Beorn's. It took some doing to get it in his shorter mop of waves (and, in the end, Bofur had to help), but shortly thereafter he was fully dressed and almost ready to present Bofur to his intended.

*****

Appearing in the parlor where the attendees gathered, Bilbo did a head count to see if they were ready to proceed. Isumbras was there, having expressed a wish to officiate in exchange for his utter discretion. Rorimac came, too, at Bofur’s insistence. Rounding out their private party of witnesses were Ori, Thodora, and Chadham. Ori and his hobbits had been especially sworn to secrecy about the event. Though Fili and Bofur didn’t mind Ori sharing their news with Nori—they trusted him, as he likely had kept dozens of even bigger secrets over the years—they impressed upon Ori that Dori was absolutely not to be given even the smallest clue. Bofur, Kili, Fili, and Bilbo all agreed that the only faster way than Dori to get word of the wedding to Balin would be to tell Balin themselves. Ori had solemnly agreed and had made the hobbits promise, too.

The dilemma presented itself, Bilbo noted with a frown, that the early arrivals meant there was no privacy in the parlor for the plaiting. He whispered a plan into Kili’s ear, sent him off to tell Fili, gathered the evergreen branches, fetched Bofur from his room, and led him to the master bedroom where Fili and Kili awaited them. 

A soft knock on the door had Fili standing straighter. He was more nervous than he thought he would be. Kili elbowed him.

“Oh! Um, come in,” Fili called.

Bilbo pushed the door open and bowed ceremoniously. 

“Your Highness, Prince Fili of Erebor, it is my immense pleasure to present to you your intended, the soon-to-be Prince Bofur of Erebor.”

Bilbo moved out of the way, allowing Bofur to enter, and quietly shut the door behind him.

Coming into Fili’s view, Bofur stole his next breath. They had selected their outfits together in Ered Luin, but had agreed not to try them on in each other’s presence before today. Bofur had chosen grey, cream, and dark blue as his color palette, the cool tones making the warm brown of his eyes impossibly more rich and flattering his skin to glowing. His hair hung loose except for the elaborate braid Bilbo had created, which pulled the sides back to feature Bofur’s face. His brows, mustache, and beard were groomed and glossy. Fili had always found Bofur quite handsome even covered in mud, but this! In Fili’s mind, this bested even Bofur’s fancy dress for the formal wedding this fall. The picture was made more breathtaking by the soft, clear daylight bouncing off the snow and through the window.

Fili breathed, “You’re the most lovely thing I’ve ever seen.”  
“Fee, I’m…I’m stunned,” Bofur replied. “You’re…cor! You’re Prince Fili, head to toe.”

The two of them stared, part mesmerized and part disbelieving, each wondering what amazing fortune had brought them to this moment. Bofur broke the tension first.

“I think I might have the wrong room,” he quipped.  
Fili grinned. “Oh no you don’t!”

Moving forward, Bofur touched one of the strands spilling from Fili’s braid. It went around his head like a circlet, woven into the hair itself--yet left long--with pieces flowing out of it in an ordered row all along the plait.

“This shiny, golden crown is quite becoming, Your Highness. Kee, I had no idea you had such skill.”  
“Thank you,” Kili replied. 

With gentle, affectionate looks and minutely trembling hands, Fili and Bofur took turns restoring their courting braids to each other’s hair. 

“I am not used to seeing you in this much jewelry,” Fili murmured as he worked. “I quite like it.”  
“I do, too. In the Shire it feels like a lot to wear to market, though,” Bofur joked.

Next, Fili and Bofur each gathered some evergreen, lovingly weaving their partner’s crowns and handing them to their Pairs. 

Motioning Bofur to kneel, Bilbo placed the crown gently on his head. When Bofur rose again, Bilbo whispered to him, “Beautiful.”

Kili crowned Fili in turn, presenting him to Bofur when he was done. Bofur and Fili shared a soft kiss. 

“Shall we greet your guests before we do the Blessing?” Bilbo asked. 

*****

There had been talk of Bilbo sneaking Fili and Bofur out for The Blessing beforehand in order for their traditional first appearance in front of their invited friends to be their ceremony itself. Ultimately, Fili and Bofur decided skulking around was a lot of trouble for what was a fairly informal wedding in the first place.

“We’ll do the more formal presentation at the state affair,” Fili had said. 

Instead, Fili and Bofur walked into the parlor prior to their vows, hand in hand, and thanked their friends for being there to share this special moment with them. 

With interest, Kili watched Bilbo sidle up to Isumbras. Bilbo leaned in and whispered something in his ear while simultaneously slipping something in his jacket pocket. Kili saw Isumbras purse his lips thoughtfully, pulling his pocket open to inspect whatever had been dropped in. Isumbras raised his eyebrows, seemingly quite agreeable to what he saw there, and the bargain—whatever it happened to be—appeared to be struck. 

After a few minutes of pleasantries, Bilbo said, “Excuse me, friends. There is one last dwarven tradition we must observe prior to the ceremony. If you’ll take a seat here in the parlor, we will be back shortly.” 

*****

Weeks ago, Fili confessed he had originally often daydreamed of marrying Bofur in Bag End’s garden. Bofur would have liked this, too, but they knew an outdoor December marriage would not have been particularly considerate to their guests. Kili had come up with the idea of doing the Blessing in the garden instead. Whereas Kili’s and Bilbo’s outdoor version of the Blessing at their own wedding was not exactly dwarvish, it pleased Fili to have this detail of his own wedding day similar to his brother’s. He liked it so much, in fact, that he made a mental note of insisting the Blessing also be outdoor at the more formal wedding yet to come.

So it came to pass that Fili’s and Bofur’s Blessing happened in the snow-covered garden area of Bag End, bathed with the clear, bright light of a cold December afternoon. 

For his part, Bilbo thought this idea was doubly good. Things had changed between the four of them since the last Blessing and he believed the cold might serve to curb their libidos and shorten the kisses before they grew too ardent. Also, since the Blessing was going to be in the garden anyway, he thought it prudent to bring out dried fruit for the Yavanna shrine and a coin for The Maker. He took a moment to ask them to bless the union before turning his attention to Fili. 

“Kee insisted I go first, an honor to which I hope I do justice,” Bilbo said, the soft steam from his breath marking his words in the chill air. “I have had the honor of watching this affection between you and Bofur sprout, grow, and blossom into a glorious love. The roots go deep, deep, deep underground, strengthened by everything you’ve endured together as battle brothers as well as lovers. Continue tending this love with passion and care and it shall bloom eternal. That is my wish for you.”

Fili swallowed down the rising emotion as best he could. How many times would he cry today, he wondered? 

“Thank you,” he murmured. 

Bilbo gently held Fili’s face in both hands, guiding him down to seal the blessing. It had been days since Fili had properly kissed Bilbo and his heart pounded. First he felt Bilbo’s lips move against his, then a soft swipe of his tongue asking permission. Somehow, Fili's heart managed to beat even faster—all the times he had fantasized about it, he had hoped this kiss would be more passionate than chaste. He had no idea how prescient he had been! As he yielded to Bilbo, Bilbo licked into him again and again, firmer and more determined each time. Fili could only hang on and kiss back as best he could as Bilbo—for lack of a better term— _took_ his mouth, kissing him giddy. By the time Bilbo’s movements slowed and the kiss ended, Fili was aching in his trousers. He gasped to catch his breath.

“Well, now, I do not know of whom I’m more envious,” flirted Bofur. “That was…well, frankly, that was obscene.”

Bilbo looked into Fili’s eyes, seeing a hunger awakening there that matched his own. He silently chided himself—so much for depending on the cold to aid in his own self-control!

Aloud, he said, “I had not intended it to be obscene, though I found I couldn’t quite help myself once I started. I’ve been considerably lacking in your kisses as of late. Seems I’ve missed them.”  
“And I yours,” Fili replied, finding his voice. “I hope no apology is forthcoming.”  
“As long as no one present sees the need,” Bilbo said. 

Fili, Kili, and Bofur all shook their heads. 

“We should probably be thanking you for taking the uncertainty out these proceedings and setting the tone,” Kili added amiably.  
Eyes twinkling with mischief, Bofur chirped, “And thankfully that tone is ‘stiff in the trousers!’ Well, come on then, lads. We haven’t got all day.”  
Fili elbowed Kili. “He wants his filthy kiss.”  
“Damn right I do!” Bofur said. “But first he has to stand here and flatter me.”  
Bilbo put his hands on his hips and fixed his dwarrows with a teasing, skeptical look. “Are you sure you all haven’t just been pulling my leg about this Blessing nonsense all this time?”

The dwarrows laughed. 

Bofur said, “You can have Ori dig out the history when we visit Erebor next, if you are still unbelieving this Spring!”  
“Well, until then, I suppose I will take a few breaths and be serious for a moment,” Bilbo said. He took Bofur’s hands. “It is not flattery when I tell you I’ve scarcely seen you more handsome than you are today. Though you cut a fine figure in your pretty clothes and jewels, it is not your wedding garb that makes you shine like this bright sun today, my sweet Bo. Your love for each other glows. From the earliest, all I've ever wished for you was happiness. It is to my utter delight that you have found it with Fili. Whether your future remains in the Shire or moves you to Erebor, may you two never know anything but joy.”

Still reeling from the heady rush of the last one, Bilbo reached up to guide Bofur into the sealing kiss.

It only took the warmth of Bilbo’s lips to dissolve the last of Bofur’s willpower from the past few overly-decorous days. Luckily, it seemed Bilbo missed him just as much, deepening the kiss immediately. Bofur was often a fan of the flirtatious, shy, and tentative, but those three things combined could not best this current thrill of tasting the pure _need_ on Bilbo’s tongue. Several moments later, when they finally parted, Bofur noticed he had wound both hands quite thoroughly in Bilbo’s hair in the midst of their greatest intensity, disturbing the clip. 

“I, ah, seem to have knocked a little something loose here,” he noted.  
“If it wouldn’t be too much trouble…?” 

Bilbo looked up at him with _that smile_ and Bofur’s heart fluttered.

“I’m on it,” Bofur managed to say.  
Fili said, “Seems I’m not the only one on the receiving end of obscene kisses today. I’m fairly sure between the one I received and the one I just watched, I’m now leaking in my unders.”  
“Hadn’t we already agreed ‘stiff in the trousers’ was the tone of the day?” Kili chimed in.  
Bofur glanced at Fili, waggling his brows. “It had best be the tone of the day _and_ the night.”  
Barking a laugh, Kili said, “Well, that is a given. I meant the Blessing specifically.”  
“That makes me twice as lucky, then,” Bofur said, fastening the clip back in place on Bilbo’s head. “Because I’m pretty sure it is my turn again.”  
“So it is,” Kili said, his tone growing more tender as he moved to stand in front of Bofur. “So much has already been said that I could have said myself…though probably not as eloquently as my Chosen. Still, it is my duty to try. You are the two best dwarrows I know. How fitting it is that you’ve found your way to each other. May you each keep the other safe and warm, and may the love between you continue to grow until the end of days.”

Bofur thanked him, keeping eye contact but fidgeting nervously. Kili held his gaze, giving Bofur a wink as he moved in. Their first contact was Kili kissing the resulting grin. The playful beginning seemed enough to dissolve any jitters Bofur might have still had about Kili’s feelings on the matter and enthusiasm rapidly took over. Bofur parted for Kili’s favor first, though he was soon teasing slick explorations past Kili’s lips himself. It was the most liberty either had taken with the other yet and as it wound down, Kili found himself quite looking forward to the next occasion. 

“Quite nice,” Bofur breathed against his cheek before letting him go. 

“Is it finally my turn again?” Fili joked. “It is a lot colder out here when I’m not snogging one of you!”

They four of them laughed.

Kili said, “As a matter of fact, it is.”

He tucked his hands under Fili’s hair, clasping him gently behind his neck and pulling their foreheads together. 

“Oh, Fee,” he said softly. “It tickles me more than I can tell you that you have finally fallen in love. I can say with all honesty I could not have picked a better suitor than Bo for you if I had built one from scratch. Keep each other's hearts well, treat them with care, and this love will be one for the ballads.”  
“You know how that will please Bo,” Fili replied.  
Kili smiled, murmuring affectionately, “That’s why I said it, fool.”  
“You’re the fool, remember?” Fili whispered back, feeling the tears threatening again.

A proud tear of Kili's own trickled down his cheek and his voice broke. 

“Mahal, I love you, Fee. I love you so.”  
“Kee-“

Fili choked on the syllable and closed the distance between them. 

Bilbo and Bofur watched Fili and Kili cradling each other's faces while they simultaneously kissed and wept. It was desperate, sweet, and passionate all at once, contradicting yet interwoven. The designations of brother or lover were too mundane for this and Bofur and Bilbo both knew it. They were witnessing something special, something and unique to Kili and Fili alone.

Fili withdrew for breath, his forehead against Kili’s, still holding his face.

“I love you, too.”

They hugged each other tightly, giggling as they had hundreds of times before. When they finally stood back, they noticed they weren’t the only ones drying poignant tears. 

Bofur took a deep breath, taking Fili’s hand. “So.”  
“So,” Fili repeated, grinning.  
“You are so gorgeous,” Bofur said, pressing his lips to the back of Fili’s cold hand. “Frozen, but gorgeous. My intended, I share my blessings with you.”  
Fili gazed into his eyes adoringly. “My Chosen, I share my blessings with you.”

Bofur’s stomach fluttered at Fili’s distinction. He wrapped his arms around Fili and claimed his lips. His head had already been spinning (and his prick stiff) from the kisses of the others--far more suggestive than sealing kisses were ever supposed to be--and he focused his full, heightened desire into this last portion of the Blessing. He was about to marry his golden god, the one kissing him to glory at this very moment, and the fulfillment of that long-held dream was making him quiver in his lover’s arms. 

“Stop,” Fili said against his lips, giggling. “Durin’s beard, stop!”  
“What?” Bofur said, unable to help a chuckle of his own as Fili’s was infectious.  
“I’m…I’m in actual danger of finishing in my unders if you keep kissing me like that!”

Bofur looked at him more closely and it was true: Fili’s eyes were glassy with large, dark pupils, he was panting, and his cheeks flushed in a way that had nothing to do with the cold. 

Fili quirked a lopsided grin. “Each kiss has left me more breathless than the last, and I'm in snug clothes to boot…”  
“Feeling a little needy?” Bofur drawled. “I’ll fix that up for you tonight…even sooner If you want to get a head start after the vows.”  
“I think we’re all feeling a bit snug below the waist, if I may say so,” added Bilbo.  
Kili said, “I’d call that a pretty successful Blessing, then, wouldn’t you?”  
“We did make that our goal at the start, thanks to Bee's filthy initiative,” Bofur answered with a wink.  
Bilbo rubbed his arms through his cloak. “Now that the kissing and the cooing is done, though, I’m noticing that I’m freezing off parts I’ve never rightly named.”  
“Can’t have that!” Bofur said. “Come on, then. We have guests waiting, anyhow.” 

They paused in the kitchen to un-dishevel themselves, speaking in whispers so as not to broadcast their previous doings to their guests. Bilbo had a bit of beard rash that Kili assured him could be passed off as a touch of windburn. It was agreed overall that said wind would be blamed for anything not in its right place. 

Fili turned to Bofur. 

“Ready, then?”  
Bofur gazed back into his eyes devotedly. “I’ve been ready far longer than you know.”

Fili held out his hand and Bofur grasped it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! I'd love to know how the wedding chapters are treating you!


	41. The Wedding, Fili and Bofur Edition:  The Vows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Bofur do the do.
> 
> (not _that_ do, they do _that_ do later)

Fili and Bofur faced each other in the parlor of Bag End. Bilbo and Kili stood to the left of them, their friends were seated behind, and Isumbras stood in front, readying his small book with the Order Of The Ceremony outlined within. Fili would have preferred an officiant dearer to them, but they decided having it signed and witnessed as official in the Shire was the bigger priority. It wasn’t a terrible disappointment, in general, though Isumbras did tend to…go on. In the end, Fili and Bofur had both discussed it and prepared themselves for the ceremony to get a bit hijacked by Isumbras’s ego. It would be a small price to pay.

Clearing his throat dramatically, Isumbras intoned, “Friends! We come together today for Prince Fili and Prince Bofur to knit together life and love, witnessed by only the dearest of their dear due to the _delicate_ political needs of Prince Fili’s station. On a personal note, may I just take a moment to say what an honor it is to be one of the chosen few gathered for your most-“

Bilbo was overcome with a sudden fit of coughing that interrupted the proceedings. Kili clapped him on the back a couple times, in case it helped.

“Bee! Are you okay?” Bofur asked.  
The fit subsided. “Yes. Please accept my apologies.”  
Fili looked at him with concern. “You’re not getting sick, are you? Being out in the cold with us so long was probably not a help if you were!”  
“Oh, no no no no no,” Bilbo insisted, waving dismissively. “I simply breathed in wrong. I’m sure you’ve done it.”

Everyone nodded because of course they had. 

“Please, Isumbras, why don’t you _continue with the ceremony_?”

Bofur thought Bilbo’s emphasis was odd, though now was not the time to dwell. He turned back to Fili as Isumbras cleared his throat again and continued.

“Ah, yes. In addition to expressing their gratitude to you, their dearest, Fili and Bofur wish to recognize the many, many people they love who are not here today. Though secrecy or distance might be the reason for some, others cannot be here because they’ve left us too soon. Our couple wishes to light a flame in remembrance of all. Let it stand in for their absent loved ones this day and represent the light Fili and Bofur carry in their hearts for them always.”

Fili held the candle they set aside for this purpose as Bofur lit it. Together, they walked it over to a table next to Ori, resting it there as though it was a guest. Heads bowed, each of them murmured the names of their beloved dead. They returned to their spot in front of Isumbras.

“Before they make their commitment, Prince Fili would like you to witness his declaration to Prince Bofur,” Isumbras said. 

Taking a deep breath and letting it out again to fortify himself, Fili clasped Bofur’s hands.

“Bo,” he shook his head, humming a fond laugh. “I remember the first time I called you that. I was already falling for you, trying to feel out whether you were interested in anything beyond friendship with me. I don’t know if I ever told you, but at that point I had already been fantasizing all the different ways I planned to ask you to run away with us, with _me_ , to come to the Shire and allow me to court you.”

Bofur eyes grew wide and he squeezed Fili’s hands, though he did not interrupt. 

“And then you did. We are here and this is real and it is better than anything that might have floated through my head as I sat next to Beorn’s fire waiting for your situation to finally bring you to me. I’m well aware I’ve made mistakes along our road but know this: Though I’ve not always known the best way to process or express it, I’ve never faltered in my love for you. Whether we stay here, go to Erebor, or wind up in places we have never considered at all, it matters not. What is important to me is that it will be _we_ —it will be _us_ —together, ‘til the end.”

Bofur lifted Fili’s hands to his lips and kissed each one. He did not let them go. 

Isumbras addressed the room again. “Prince Bofur would also like you to witness his declaration to Prince Fili.”

Squeezing Fili’s hands again, Bofur spoke. “I would be annoyed you stole my big, poignant finish if you weren’t standing in front of me looking like the breathtaking personification of several dreams come true,. Oh, my stunning Fee. As it happens, I also remember the first time I used your pet name. You had just kissed me for the first time—again, like you had walked out directly out of my dreams—and it had finally dawned on me that your invitations to travel to the Shire were being extended in something more than friendship. It was responsibility alone and not any hesitation of my heart that made my answer a gut-wrenching ‘not yet.' That very moment, I _swore_ to myself that once I was finally by your side, not even another dragon would easily remove me from it. In our future, I might not always be wise in my choices, or even as thoughtful as I wish to be in my actions, but I will love you fiercely and--as I had planned all along to say it, I’m still going to—love you ‘til the end.”

By the time he finished speaking, both Bofur and Fili wore wet cheeks and enormous grins. 

Ori, weeping as well, blew his nose loudly in the audience. Everyone turned to look at him. 

Dabbing at his eyes, he said, “Sorry, please carry on.”

Thodora and Chadham each patted him with comforting hands. 

“Yes, quite. Back to the ceremony, then,” said Isumbras. “Those were lovely sentiments, your Highnesses, and they lead me handily to the next portion. It is time now for you accept those declarations and vow your commitments to each other.”

Isumbras’s eyes flicked to Bilbo in silent question; he received a quick approving nod. 

“Prince Bofur, Prince Fili asks you to share his life as his partner in all things. Do you consent to this and accept his declaration?”  
Bofur’s eyes hadn’t left Fili’s and he spoke directly to him as he answered. “I consent to this and I accept your declaration.”  
“And you, Prince Fili? Prince Bofur asks you to share his life as his partner in all things. Do you consent to such and accept his declaration?”  
“I consent to this and I accept your declaration as well,” Fili said to Bofur.  
“May we have the documentation?” Isumbras asked.

Bilbo retrieved two documents, a pen, and ink and set them on a second table in the parlor set aside for this very purpose. The documents were each duplicate of the other—one for filing in Michel Delving, one for Fili to keep in case of dire need outside of the Shire. 

Isumbras read the next part of the ceremony directly from the document:

“ _Let it be known among all here today, I, Isumbras Took IV, Thain Of The Shire, do not have nor do I claim any authority to officially crown citizens or royalty from Erebor, nor to confer the title used for the whole of these proceedings at Prince Fili’s behest. To the best of my understanding, dwarvish tradition dictates that this marriage will make Prince Fili’s husband a recognized prince in dwarven realms, up to and including Erebor. As such, Prince Bofur’s name is printed with title attached as seen here, and it will be signed as such where requested. This document is legal and binding in all lands that recognize the Shire, up to and including Erebor. No Shire permissions need be granted to marry again in order to confer royal title in dwarven lands, as this unique situation is not addressed in current Shire law, though this document still stands legitimate regardless of whether a second ceremony in dwarven lands comes to pass or not._ ”

Isumbras glanced up, making eye contact with Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Bilbo. 

“Do all present who will be putting ink to this document understand the terms?”

Agreeing, the four of them passed the ink around to sign, as Bilbo and Kili were included in the proceedings as witnesses. Looking over the signatures, Isumbras added his own authorization as both officiant and Thain. Leaving the papers on the table to dry, the five of them returned to their original positions in the front of the room.

“Well, now!” said Isumbras. “We have arrived at last to _my_ favorite part: Your first kiss as a married couple.”

Fili glanced away from Isumbras, who was grinning perhaps a tad too salaciously as he waited to watch. He took a step closer to Bofur, who met him chest-to-chest after a step of his own. 

“You’re still here,” Fili teased softly.  
Leaning in, Bofur whispered back, “Aye, wouldn’t miss it.”

Gentle and reverent, their lips moved together, parting briefly for a sweet, slick promise of more filthy kisses later. At the end, they rested their foreheads together tenderly.

Holding his arms high on both his sides (for dramatic effect), Isumbras announced, “Everyone! For the first time, I present Prince Fili and Prince Bofur of Erebor!”

Their friends applauded for them, standing for hugs and congratulations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still being here. I'd love to hear your comments on the wedding chapters <3


	42. The Wedding, Fili and Bofur Edition:  The Parties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Bofur make the rounds to have their rather unorthodox reception.
> 
> Non-centered ***** notations indicate changes within the chapters to easier navigate separate conversations.

After many hugs, snacks, and an hour or so of amiable chat, the wedding guests filtered out of Bag End. Wedding or not, it was Yule, after all, and there were other places to be. It was made far less awkward because Fili, Bofur, Bilbo, and Kili would be seeing all of them again that evening as they made their party rounds. Isumbras insisted the princes (all four of them now) make an appearance at his annual shindig and as a fellow Took, Rorimac would be in attendance there, too. Ori would be at his first ever Yule party with his hobbits and the hosts of that party, not wanting Ori to be the only dwarf, also thoughtfully extended invitations to the residents of Bag End as well as any other friends they might wish to include.

A few minutes after the last person left, Bilbo emerged from the hallway with a bottle from the wine cellar. Kili could tell by the way Bilbo cradled it that it was not just another bottle.

Bilbo said, "I know you have a much sweeter wine to drink later tonight, but I hoped we could share this and celebrate, just us four, before we get going for the evening. It is from my father's old Winyard."  
"Oh, Bilbo," Bofur breathed, looking at the bottle in respectful awe.

Kili put his arm around Bilbo’s shoulder.

"It isn't the last, not by several bottles-" explained Bilbo.  
"-But still, there's a finite amount," Fili said. "What a special, special gift."  
Bilbo quirked a smile. "Well, you're special people."  
Kili murmured in Bilbo’s ear. “That was very thoughtful.”

As they drank, Bilbo asked Fili and Bofur how they were enjoying their wedding day so far.

“What a question!” Fili exclaimed  
“Ah,” Bilbo gestured towards him with his glass, “but one that must be asked!”  
Bofur said, “I have no complaints at all. Between the morning, the Blessing, and marrying my love, we could end the day right now and I would still be walking on clouds for a month at least.”  
“Did you enjoy the ceremony itself?” Kili asked his brother.  
“I did,” replied Fili. “You two knew our fears going into this, but they proved unfounded. Though Isumbras is admittedly not as eloquent as Gandalf was, I think the ceremony turned out just fine. Fine and blessedly short, given Isumbras’s tendency to ramble—especially about himself!"  
Kili’s eyes widened with sudden understanding. He looked to Bilbo, impressed. “Perhaps suspiciously short, my jewel?”  
Bilbo grinned. “Well…I _might_ have slipped him something to make it worth his while to spare us his usual bloviations.”  
Bofur barked a laugh as he caught on, too. “And then perhaps had to remind him once for good measure?”

With a satisfied look on his face, Bilbo held his glass up in a toast.

Fili joined in, cackling gleefully. “Oh, Bee. Here I was really worried you were ill, too!” 

*****

Bundled up against the weather, Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Bilbo set out at sunset for the first party, which was the one being thrown by Isumbras. Their reasoning was to go out the farthest first, before the true chill of the evening (and the alcohol) could get to them. Lucky it was that particular party, too, because needing to be elsewhere was a handy excuse to extract themselves early if they so chose.

Bofur walked a little taller in his new cloak. Bilbo and Kili had much to say about its beauty and how handsome he looked in it. He often did not get caught up in such things, but he had to admit he felt very princely indeed that evening. 

*****

The Thain’s party was a full-on _affair_. It was not in his home but in a hall, complete with a band and a buffet. After a good run-up on the food, Bilbo, Bofur, Kili, and Fili made the kegs their next stop. Ultimately, they wound up on the dance floor. Bilbo went round and round, taking a turn with each of the dwarrows as well as Rorimac, who then also took his turns with the dwarrows. Singing happened throughout the night without reservation, with the voices supplied by as many present who knew the song.

It was only when an increasingly drunk Isumbras glanced in their direction with an expression lighting up like Gandalf’s fireworks that Bilbo made the call to leave. Bilbo had no desire for the princes to be made spectacles for a long-winded, boastful speech of the Thain’s. He cut off Isumbras on his way to the front and told him it was time for them to move on.

“No! Why, we’ve only just gotten started!” Isumbras argued. “We have hours to go yet, and I wanted to say a few words…”  
“Remember the wedding was _secret_ , Isumbras. You don’t want to be making an enemy of the Crown Prince Of Erebor. You said yourself this very afternoon his political situation is delicate.”  
Isumbras pouted. “I-I wasn’t going to talk about the wedding, you know. I just wanted to say what an honor it was for your princes to spend their first Shire Yule here with us.”  
“Well, then, you can tell them now as they get dressed to go back out in the cold. They’ll be happy to hear it,” said Bilbo, knowing full well Isumbras’s concern at the moment was more for sharing his sentiments _about_ the princes than _with_.

Somehow, Isumbras managed to pout even more, begrudgingly making is way over to where the dwarrows were shrugging on their outerwear. Bilbo knew he wasn’t a bad sort altogether—often, he had his heart quite firmly in the right place—but Isumbras had always been a bit of an attention-hog and his position as Thain had done more to exacerbate that impulse than to curb it. Given the choice between Tookish loyalty or keeping his dwarrows happy and comfortable in the Shire, Bilbo was sure his mother would forgive him for choosing the latter. He’d make it up to Isumbras some other time when it wouldn’t be at the expense of Kili, Fili, or Bofur. 

As Bilbo, Fili, Kili, and Bofur suited up for the chill and said their goodbyes, Bofur noticed Rorimac had gone from his earlier dancing, laughing, and happy babbling to a more subdued posture. He tugged on Rorimac’s sleeve. 

“Oi, Rori, why don’t you come with us?”  
Rorimac’s face brightened instantly. “Are you…are you sure I’ll be welcome?”  
“What sort of question is that? You are absolutely welcome! We’ve two more parties to see about, not to mention Ori, Thodora, and Chadham will be at the last one and most certainly happy to see you. Unless, of course you’d like to wait for your cousin to get drunk enough to try to use you as bait for a foursome again!”

Though Rorimac knew Bifur had told Bofur about the bizarre circumstances of their first meeting, he still blushed. 

“Let me grab my jacket and fur,” he replied. 

*****

The next party on the agenda was at the Cotton’s. Mrs. Cotton specifically had encouraged them to stop by for some of her legendary Yule baking and Bilbo didn’t dare refuse, not given the dwarves’ taste for the tantalizing sweets that came out of that oven! She chided them for not bringing Ori along. Since his arrival in the Shire, he had become one of her best customers at market. They assured her Ori had his own party to attend and that he had not been slighted.

Overall, the gathering at the Cotton’s was informal and homey with many familiar faces coming and going in the hour Bilbo spent there. Before his journey to Erebor, Bilbo had lost his patience for Shire small talk and would not have stayed nearly as long (or gone at all) had he been there by himself in years past. Fili, Kili, and Bofur genuinely enjoyed these light, frothy interactions that made them feel welcomed, though, and Bilbo enjoyed watching it happen so much that he found his patience with such things had increased fivefold. 

In between conversations, Bilbo’s mind wandered again—as it had many times that day already—to Thorin. Thorin had never gotten the courtesy of wedding feasts or breathless dancing around a hall. Half a wedding dance in The Green Dragon was all Bilbo gave Thorin, aside from his body and his vows. Bilbo thought about how Thorin would have especially loved to have been here for Fili, how happy he would be to know Fili took his advice about making his commitment to Bofur without worrying about his crown, but--most of all-- Bilbo thought about how much he personally would love to have Thorin there at that very moment. 

Bilbo was pulled from his thoughts by Bofur gesturing to catch his eye. He indicated for Bilbo to join him, then pulled him further aside to a more private hallway. 

“Here,” Bofur pressed something into Bilbo’s hand. “We wanted you to have this for the night.”  
“A key? To what? Is this to your place?”  
“It seems only fair we swap tonight since you are generously offering your bedroom to us. No sense you and Kee bothering with the inn when we can offer a bit of what we hope becomes your home away from home.”

Bilbo thought he sensed a keen sadness to Bofur’s eyes, one that matched the sadness in Kili’s whenever the subject came up.

Continuing, Bofur said, “Not much to eat or drink there, in fair warning, but there’s firewood, a bed for the interim, plumbing ready to go, and still a goodly amount of oil.”

Bilbo raised his eyebrows flirtatiously. “When you put it like that, how could we possibly refuse?”

Bofur’s smile warmed Bilbo from top to fuzzy toe. 

“You couldn’t,” Bofur said.

When it was time to go, Mrs. Cotton insisted they bring a basket of mini-cakes and a pie to the next party specifically for Ori with her compliments. 

*****

The final party was also the coziest. It was hosted by Thodora’s parents and although they packed an admirable number of people into their smial, it wasn’t a see-and-be-seen event like the Thain's, nor was it the half-of-Hobbiton-coming-and-going type of party thrown by the popular and kind Cottons. It put Bilbo in mind of holidays in Tuckborough with his mother’s extended family when he was a fauntling. He quite liked it.

Touched that Mrs. Cotton remembered him with her sweets, Ori encouraged Thodora’s Mam to add them to the treat table to share with all. 

When they thought they could get away with it, Bilbo and Kili sneaked out. As quickly as they could, they went back to Bag End to get it ready for the wedding night. They set up candles, put out the new cups, and re-lit the hearth fires so it would be cozy. In record time, they stole back to the party, stealthily shedding their cloaks and grabbing mugs to sham they had been there the whole time. 

It didn’t work. 

Fili cornered Bilbo, pressing the back of his hand to Bilbo’s face. 

“Hmm, still cold. So, how was it?”  
“How was what?” Bilbo asked, feigning innocence.  
“The little bit of naughty you and Kee slipped out for.”  
“The little bit…“ Bilbo suddenly twigged Fili’s meaning, deciding to let him believe it to keep their real secret. “Oh! Overdue. I’ve been thinking about our own wedding quite a bit today and it has been difficult to keep my hands off him.”  
“Tell me about it! I’ve almost thrown Bo in a closet half a dozen times today, especially after all that kissing. The only thing keeping me from actually doing it is the embarrassment it would cause you if we got caught sucking each other off in the host’s broom closet.”  
Bilbo sputtered a laugh. “I thank you for your courtesy, coming at such a great personal sacrifice as it does. It is just as well, though. Your body is going to need every resource it has tonight. As a matter of fact, perhaps you should have a piece of pie or another bun or something.”

Chortling, Fili expected Bilbo to join him to punctuate the joke…but Bilbo just looked at him with a knowing smile, taking another sip from his mug while holding his gaze.

“Wait, really?”

**** 

“I’m serious, Bo,” Kili insisted.  
“I DO believe you. I’ve just…I mean, you two have never been quite specific. So, the key things to remember are to get each other, ah, _prepared_ before taking the first drink, to pace ourselves as we drink it--don’t try to quaff it in a fast go—and to make sure we finish it to the last drop?”  
Kili took another drink, wiped his lip, and nodded. “The fun of discovering the finer details will be up to the two of you to figure out together. I mean, in general, you’ll both have a marvelous time regardless, but knowing those three things made our second bottle even better than our first.”  
“So noted.”

****

Again tight in his trousers, Fili decided Bilbo describing the best way to get the most of their wine was going to be the last time this evening he was willing to be this aroused and _not_ be naked. He was about to suggest it was time to go when Kili called him over, needing his help to tell Thodora’s father one of their road stories. Thankful for long, draping party clothes, Fili joined his brother for one last tale this evening. 

****

“So, were you just talking dirty to my husband?” asked Bilbo, recognizing the fading flush on Kili’s face, even eight paces away.  
Bofur hummed. “As much as you were talking dirty with mine. Purely educational, you understand. He shared some pointers to help us best utilize our favorite wedding present tonight.”  
“Educational…isn’t that how we got started with all this in the first place, back at Beorn’s?”

The look Bofur gave him sent a brilliant tremble through Bilbo’s belly, and the tone of his voice gave him several more besides. 

“It started well before that.”

Bilbo swallowed hard, ignoring his burgeoning erection, and changed the subject.

“So, have you sufficiently celebrated your union tonight? Gotten enough beer, food, and dancing in?”  
“And singing, don’t forget! I would say we packed a lot into our post-wedding festivities indeed. Bee, this was brilliant, this whole idea of combining it all with Yule. It certainly helped ease the sting of so many of our friends and relatives being absent for this first exchange of vows.”  
Bilbo shook his head modestly. “We’re happy that you’re happy, that’s all.”

A smattering of applause caught their attention. Glancing over they saw Kili take an exaggerated bow a scant moment before Fili play-grabbed him by the neck and ruffled his hair. 

“Well, that’s our lads, then. The epic tale has concluded.” Bofur said.  
Bilbo smiled fondly. “Seems so. Let’s gather them and make our goodbyes.” 

*****

With Rorimac staying behind to finish the night with his other friends, Bilbo, Bofur, Kili, and Fili left their hosts’ smial to find it snowing in large, fat flakes. Though hardly a blowing blizzard, a goodly amount was coming down. Fili spun around slowly, his eyes glittering in wonder.

“Fee,” Bilbo breathed. “Snow on snow. That's your favorite.”  
“I know,” Fili whispered back. 

Bofur kissed him, noting the flakes already softly clinging to his crown and hair. 

“It is perfect,” he said. 

They walked in contented silence, each couple holding hands, listening to the soft patter of snow falling on the already-covered ground. Soothing and quiet, Fili silently thanked the Maker for giving them one final bit of magic for their journey home. 

At the door of Bag End, Fili asked, “Are you coming in for a bit?”  
Kili shook his head. “No, we’re only grabbing our bag for staying over. It is just inside the door.”  
“Please, come in for a moment at least,” insisted Bofur.  
“Yes, please do,” Fili said. “I rather liked it when the Pairs had the last word after your reception and it would be so much nicer if we did tonight's somewhere at least slightly warmer than out here.”

Entering the house, Fili amended his statement. “Quite a bit warmer, actually. Did you two do this? Light the fires for us?”  
Bilbo grinned. “Yes, earlier.”  
“ _That’s_ why you were cold. Did you at least take a moment to have some fun for yourselves?” Fili asked.  
“No time,” Bilbo shrugged. "We were trying not to be missed."  
“Pity. Bo and I had one off when we got the place ready for you on your wedding night.”  
Bilbo feigned shock. “What a scandal!”  
“You _love_ scandal,” Kili leered, nudging him. 

The grooms each split off with their Pair, one in the parlor and the other in the study. 

*****

“I didn’t prepare additional words for you,” Kili admitted.  
Smirking, Fili replied, “When has that ever stopped your chatter before?”  
“Fair point. In seriousness, I’m downright envious of the night the two you are going to have. It is life-changing, and not solely because of the wine, though the wine does add an otherworldly dimension to it…perhaps literally.”  
“How…how do you mean?”

Kili lowered his voice reverently, though there was no one close enough to overhear regardless. 

“I know this is going to sound fanciful, but I swear to you it is as true as my name. Both times we have enjoyed Daerbes’s wine, after we’ve gone to sleep, we have had a mutual dream. A mutual _sex_ dream.”  
“Mutual dream? Like you both dreamed the same thing together?”  
“Yes. The first time I didn’t know quite what to make of it, but I suspected the wine. The second time I _knew_ it was the wine.”  
“And you two were making love in the dreams?”  
“We were, though I don’t know if that is always the way of it. There’s more, though. Both times, the sex was, well, it was sex that was physically impossible with our real bodies. It was also not the same twice--different from one bottle to the other.”  
“That is amazing. Durin’s beard, Kee! You and Bee are giving us that instead of keeping it for yourself?”  
“You have to feel it, Fee. We could not in good conscience keep it to ourselves, doubly so since you’ve elected to save it for your wedding night. Believe me when I tell you that you’ll wake tomorrow feeling different than you did today.”  
“I don’t know what to say.”  
“Say you will hold nothing back in giving Bo your all tonight, and request the same from him because you deserve nothing less. Cherish each other--not just tonight but for all time—and above all, my Fee, be happy.”

They had been subconsciously growing nearer the whole time they had been talking, and--quite without realizing it--they were in each other’s arms by the time Kili finished.

Scarcely audible, Fili said, “I promise.”

In a flutter of an eyelash, they were kissing languorously and thoroughly, their hands sweetly caressing skin and winding into hair. Within Fili, the dual yearning of flesh and soul rose up, mingling in his very core. Altogether too soon, he felt Kili begin to wind the kiss down and a thin tendril of panic snaked up his spine. He was not ready for Kili to leave and end their intimacy for the night. 

“Please…Kee don’t go,” Fili begged, voice rough. “Both of you, stay. I need you to stay.”

Kili held Fili’s face in his hands, urging it down so he could kiss the little bit of forehead not obscured by Fili’s crown.

Softly, he said, “This night is not for us.”  
“But-“

Kili hushed him with gentle fingers pressed to his lips. 

“It was you who impressed upon me that this night was a sacred one, despite my protestations. Allow me to return that favor, please?”

Fili swallowed the disappointment and nodded. Kili pressed another, more chaste kiss to Fili’s lips in farewell.

As he backed towards to door, he murmured, “Make sure you tell Bo about the dream so he can anticipate it, okay?”  
“I will.”

*****

Bilbo and Bofur stood locked in an embrace growing more passionate with each passing moment. Bofur explored deeper past Bilbo’s lips, pulling a soft sound of arousal from Bilbo’s throat. Bofur answered with a groan, holding him tighter. 

Bofur rested his forehead against Bilbo’s. 

“Kisses like that are going to make it difficult to leave,” Bilbo declared breathlessly.  
“It is going to be difficult to let you leave. You know, I’m willing to bet Fee might agree to company tonight...”

Bilbo hummed a laugh and leaned back, still resting his hands on Bofur’s shoulders. 

“Then I need to leave while I have the will to walk away. You two deserve tonight for yourselves.”  
Returning Bilbo’s wistful smile, Bofur said, “I know we’ll thank you for it later, regardless of how reluctant I feel now.”  
“Tonight and all its glories are yours. Even without the wine, it was destined to be incredibly special.”  
“And with?”  
“I look forward to the songs you will be dedicating to me and Kee for sharing it with you…though we would not be able to sing them in young company.”  
“You know, Bee? What I said earlier? I meant it. You’ve taken such lovely care of us.”  
“It was just breakfast and some scheduling,” demurred Bilbo.  
“That is only the smallest part. You’ve welcomed us into the Shire, helped integrate us for our comfort, shared your home, and then there’s the other part, the part where you are trying to also take care of our hearts, though I know we’re not speaking of that just yet. It all means so much to me. Those reasons and many more are why I wanted you to be my Pair.”  
“Oh Bo,” Bilbo said, emotion welling in his eyes. “I thought I was supposed to be the one leaving you with beautiful thoughts, not the other way ‘round.”  
“It needed saying. I wanted you to know.”  
“It has been my pleasure and my privilege to do those things for you and Fee. The two of you deserve it. You know, there’s an old toast they like to give to the newly-wedded in Buckland and I think I would like to bestow it upon you as your final Blessing: may you and Fee always have generously poured cups, amply full bellies, and a _thoroughly_ rumpled bed.”  
Bofur chuckled “You should take us to Buckland sometime. They sound like good folk.”  
“They are, and I will.”

Bofur lovingly slid his hand up Bilbo’s neck to cradle his head, dipping low for one last brush of lips. 

“G’night Bee.”  
“Goodnight. We’ll be back tomorrow, but not too early, yeah?”

Bofur closed his eyes and nodded, finding it much harder to let Bilbo walk away than even he had anticipated. 

“Aye.”

Bofur did not open his eyes again until he heard Bilbo’s footfalls take him out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you! I'd love to hear your comments on the wedding chapters so far!


	43. The Wedding, Fili and Bofur Edition:  Erebor & Rivendell Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Thorin and Bifur were doing the day Fili and Bofur were busy getting married.

Thorin had had a feeling all day that something was…not exactly _amiss_ , but important to someone he loved. It had distracted him through lunch, meetings, and dinner. He thought a walk through the main floor might clear his head…or at least tire him enough to get some sleep later.

*****

Balin chatted with Dain and Nabbi in a passageway adjacent to the Great Hall. Something caught his eye—or perhaps his mind’s eye, as he had developed a keen intuition over the years with watching out for Thorin—and he excused himself. He rounded the corner, doing a little jog to catch up, and finally saw Thorin’s unmistakable outline in the torchlight. He called out to him and Thorin turned to wait.

“It is unusual to see you out and about after dinner like this,” Balin noted. “Is there something I can do or handle for you?”  
Thorin shook his head. “Something is on my mind, thought I might try to walk it off.”  
Balin’s eyes narrowed, for he knew that look on Thorin’s face. “Something in the Shire, perhaps?”  
“I can’t describe it,” Thorin said, rubbing his temples. “I’ve been thinking of him for hours, though, and I can’t shake this feeling…”  
Balin shook his head. “Bilbo,” he spat in disgust. “Why must you keep-“  
“What? No! Fili!”  
“Fili?”  
Thorin nodded. “He has been in my mind all day in a most unusual way. I would say it was a premonition of some sort except it doesn’t feel like danger, not in the way one would expect such a lingering feeling to be. It is almost…joyful.”

Balin’s hard look faded as Thorin spoke. As he considered Thorin’s words, he felt guilty for jumping to conclusions and barking at him so. Perhaps his suspicions as of late were clouding his mind too much, making him lose sight of the other things that weighed on Thorin’s heart besides Bilbo. Smiling kindly, he rested a hand on Thorin’s shoulder.

“You’ve been working hard and long, both on Erebor as well as several more projects in advance of your sister’s wedding. I know you miss the lads and could use their help, especially now. I think you could use some rest and I believe we _all_ need a visit from our princes. That will surely set things right.”  
Thorin briefly held Balin’s wrist before letting go. “Spring cannot get here soon enough.”

*****

Bifur’s speech lesson had been interrupted by a surprise visit from Elrond, of all people. Elrond bade Bifur take a break to walk with him, asking after his recovery. Bifur answered him in Common, causing Elrond to grin in delight.

“You have been doing remarkably well. This has gone better than my hopes, due in no small part to your determination. You should be proud.”  
“Thank you, Lord Elrond. I owe it to your foresight and skill.”  
“I have not asked you to walk with me to praise me, though, nor solely to check on your progress. I wanted to tell you I received a lovely letter from your cousin."  
"My cousin? You mean Bofur?"  
Elrond nodded. “He sent me a letter of thanks for what we’ve done here. It was kind of him to do so and I thought you might want to know of it.”  
“Yes! I was indeed interested to hear he did that, so thank you very much. Oh, good ol’ Bofur. I sure do miss him.”  
“I have a letter from Bofur for you as well. Something else arrived with it, too, something you may find even more interesting.”

Elrond handed him Bofur's letter along with a second one with Bifur’s name on it. Bifur’s heart fluttered as he realized who it must be from. 

“I can see by your face that perhaps this is from someone else you are missing?”  
“Yes, Lord Elrond,” Bifur replied, willing his voice not to shake.

Elrond motioned toward a bench nearby. 

“Then I shall not keep you from it. Perhaps I will see you at dinner.”

Bifur bowed towards Elrond and watched him continue down the path. He took a seat on the offered bench and gently unfolded the letter as though it was made of the most fragile of materials. 

_Dear Bifur,_

_With each word of your letters, my feelings developed deeply and deeper still. You are brilliant, compassionate, and lovely, inside and out. You've been so many places, done so many things, and triumphed over adversities I can hardly envision, even though you write them so well. Thank you for letting me in, for giving me a chance to know you better. I thought you were remarkable from the start--you've confirmed it and more._

_I miss you. In fact, I've missed you from the day you left Hobbiton. Winter has not yet arrived and already it seems too long. I've begun thinking ahead to Bilbo and the others leaving for Rivendell and Erebor in the Spring. Bilbo has invited me to the Princess's wedding. More than seeing the world, more than attending such an event, the part that thrilled me the most about being asked was the possibility of seeing you again. I would not want to make you uncomfortable by going along with them. It has been my hope our separation was not simply the fond parting you made mention of in your first letter, but a continuation of sorts. I would like that, more than I can tell you. Please, I hope you will give me leave to travel with them, to travel with you, and perhaps you would find it pleasant to consent to be my companion for the event as well? I would love another opportunity to dance with you at a wedding._

_I anxiously await your reply._

_Yours,_

_Rorimac Took"_

Grinning so wide and so long that his cheeks ached, Bifur rushed back to his room to draft a reply. 

*****

Thorin stared at his ceiling, alone in his bed and holding Bilbo’s braid of hair in his hand. He thought of Bilbo as he had done dozens of nights prior--and would still do for dozens of nights hence. 

This loneliness was growing unsustainable. Early on, it had been...not _easier_ , exactly, but more manageable. The memory of Bilbo's kiss and promise had been much nearer then, plus Thorin had so many plans for Bilbo's arrival to put into motion that Spring did not seem so far away. Now, as the days grew cold and the nights grew colder, Spring did not feel like it would ever arrive. Worse still was the realization that--from their first kiss up through that very day--Thorin counted far more days spent without Bilbo than with him.

Thorin placed Bilbo's braid back in the puzzle box he lovingly kept on his nightstand. He had taken to carrying the plait on his person to help soothe him whenever he knew he was going to have a challenging day. He would have to find a better, safer way to carry it if he was to keep it in fair condition…or keep himself from inadvertently losing it. Stroking the pattern on the box, he recalled (for the hundredth time) what a gift this was, fraught with meaning for which he had scarcely dared hope in what felt like those most hopeless of days. That Bilbo had meant it exactly as a dwarf would intend such an heirloom to mean still sent tingles through his core.

Sighing, he placed it back on the bedside table.

"Soon, my love," he whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter = smut!


	44. The Wedding, Fili and Bofur Edition:  The Wedding Night Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding night! 
> 
> I split the wedding night into 2 chapters because this one clocked in over 6100 words all on its own. More importantly, this much was ready to go and I didn't want to make you wait for the rest. 
> 
> Happy emotional smutting!

Bofur found Fili in the study, peering out into the snow. He closed in behind him, caressing his shoulders.

“I can scarcely believe it snowed twice for you,” Bofur said.  
Fili replied quietly. “Yeah, I know.”  
“Hey,” Bofur urged him to turn around, peering at his face. “How are you feeling?”  
“Truthfully? A bit emotionally overwhelmed. It has been quite a day. You?”  
“Same. I found my Pair experience to be quite different from the other side and it has me a little…” Bofur trailed off, looking for a good word.  
“Shaken?” provided Fili.  
“Aye, that might be one way to put it.”  
Fili exhaled in a huff. “I’m relieved to hear you say that.”  
“You too?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Do you s’pose…? I mean, have you considered the reason we feel this way is not only from switching places with Bee and Kee as the Pairs?”  
“You think the change of our relationships with them from then to now is why our communion with them today has us noodled up inside?”  
Bofur rolled his lips inward, pausing but a moment before making his confession. “I can’t see any other reason why I came so close to asking Bee to stay, can you?”

Fili threw his arms around Bofur, burying his cheek in the crook of his neck and knocking his own crown halfway off his head. 

“Oh, Bo! I _did_ ask Kee to stay. I _pleaded_ with him. On our very wedding night! What you must think!” 

Bofur eased the crown off the rest of the way and tossed it aside so he could stroke Fili’s hair. 

“Shhh, none of that now. Things are unusual between the four of us and there’s no known precedent to guide us. I don’t think it would have been the worst thing if they had stayed in our bed tonight. It has been an emotional day in all directions, not merely in the direction that binds you and me. Kee and Bee talked what they considered sense and declined for the reasons they gave us, but that doesn’t mean we were wrong to want what we wanted. “

Fili made a noise and Bofur could not tell if it was happy or sad. He nudged him. 

“Hey, look at me.”  
Fili complied.  
“Tell me truly and forget about tradition, wine, and all the rest: Are you too emotionally overwhelmed to finish our wedding night?”  
Fili’s face screwed up in disbelief. “Bo, what kind of-“  
“-I’m serious. We can simply hold each other tonight—no sex—and it would be okay. I want you madly, but I want all of you and I can wait until you’re able to give it to me.”  
“What of you? You said you were feeling it, too.”  
“I was—I _am_ \--but I’m far more used to feeling this way than you, I think.”  
“I am a ball of emotion, but I’m ready nonetheless. I want you, I want that wine, and I want to spend the rest of this night unraveling myself bare for you.”

Bofur kissed him soundly. 

“And I wish to be turned inside out by you," he said. "Tonight is ours. We are going to take it and make some magnificent memories. No more guilt about the rest, okay?”  
“Agreed.”  
“Here, why don’t we enjoy the snowfall a little more before going to bed?”

Fili turned around in Bofur’s arms, leaning back against him as they watched the snow fall outside. 

Bofur smoothed his hands down Fili’s arms and back up again. Encouraged by Fili’s relaxed sigh, he swept the hair off his nape and kissed it. Leaning in a second time, his tongue joined his lips against Fili’s skin. He trailed these kisses around the side of Fili’s neck, up and down the column, until Fili tipped his head back, moaning. He captured Fili’s mouth then, Fili straining to reach until, frustrated, he turned back around to more properly kiss his husband. 

“I want you,” Fili whispered. “The snow can wait.”

They kissed from the study, through the house to the bedroom, shedding clothes from their top halves all along the way. Unfortunately, in order for the bottom half to come off, a couple minutes of serious boot removal had to happen first. In the master bedroom, they reluctantly parted to make it happen. It was then they noticed the room had been prepared for them with its own hearth burning and candles at the ready.

“Oh, they even set out the goblets!” Fili noted, prying off a boot.  
“Probably would have gotten the wine out for us too if they knew where we had kept it.” 

Fili’s second boot thunked onto the floor and he sat up, somewhat disheveled from the effort.

“I’ve been thinking. When I was talking to him at the party, Bee stressed the importance of us getting ready before drinking the wine, so as not to squander the first waves of pleasure.”  
“Kee told me something similar. What about it?”  
Fili smiled. “Well, obviously they know more about it than we do and I understand why they would give us that advice…”  
“But?”  
“But I’ve been thinking I might want to drink a glass and take a bath.”  
“Interesting thought you have there.” Bofur impishly cocked a brow. “What is the reasoning behind this flagrant disregard for their sage advice?”  
“Our first bath was particularly special for me, too, you know. I thought if this wine really does turn regular touches exquisitely sexual, I want to be bathing with you, feeling your hands in my hair, and massaging your scalp with my own.”  
“Mmm, you certainly make a compelling argument.”  
“And?”  
“And one of us is going to have to draw the bath while the other grabs the wine.” 

*****

Like the first time, Bofur and Fili loosed their own hair (save for courting braids) and stood before each other in the flickering candlelight of the bathing room. Their bath was drawn and the first two goblets of wine were poured.

“Beautiful,” breathed Bofur.  
“My sentiments exactly.”  
Bofur offered Fili his wine. “So, what do we drink to?”  
“To the intimacy of unbraided hair, which helped in part to lead us here.”  
Bofur held his cup aloft. “To the intimacy of unbraided hair…and the magic of bath time!”

They clinked their goblets together…but neither of them took a drink. 

“Why aren’t you drinking?” Bofur asked.  
“Why aren’t you?”  
“Can you believe I’m nervous? I’ve been fantasizing about this blasted wine since we were first told of its existence and now I’m stalling.”  
“I’d say it was preposterous but I understand. Kee kept using phrases like ‘life-changing’ and ‘otherworldly’ and although I am wickedly curious, for some reason I’m…well…it is a little like diving into a pool for the first time.”  
Tipping his cup towards Fili in approval, Bofur noted, “Nice water reference, all things considered.”  
Fili hummed a wistful laugh. “I’ve spent easily half our relationship afraid of letting go, afraid of _myself_ …well, not tonight.”

He took a deep breath and thought about Kili’s final words that evening. He peered into his goblet, then back up at Bofur.

“I’m diving, Bo. For me and for us. I’m giving you my all tonight, holding nothing back. If my wine exposes me to my very being, then I will be glad for it. You’ve long deserved it.”

Fili drank. 

“I’m diving, too," Bofur said. "You’ll never be alone in this, that I promise. I’ll give you my everything to fill in the spaces where you’ve given me you.”

Taking a fair-sized drink from his own goblet, Bofur held out his hand. 

“I do believe we have a date with a bath?” 

*****

Bilbo and Kili were quite done with both cold and snow by the time they arrived at Bofur’s and Fili’s smial. Bilbo’s hand shook with chill at the keyhole, though he managed to get it unlocked on the first try.

Setting down their bags, Bilbo and Kili lit the entryway candles. By that light, Kili found and lit a couple more, handing one to Bilbo so they could take a peek around.

A touch subdued, Kili noted, “I haven’t been over here since they did their last couple rounds of work. It looks great so far, don’t you think?” 

Bilbo headed Kili off before he was able to grow too maudlin thinking of the day when Fili would eventually move out. 

“I think _you_ look great, dear heart, and I believe you’ll look even better when we warm the bedroom up enough to shed our clothes.”

Kili’s dazzling, answering grin melted away the rest of Bilbo’s chill all on its own.

“That is terrific incentive to get that fire lit, then,” he said. 

*****

In the Bag End tub, Bofur and Fili had to take a little more care to arrange to fit than they needed to back at Beorn’s, though they always seemed to manage in the end. First, however, there was a short debate on who got to go first, the primary concern being which one would be getting the wash when the wine took effect. It was decided to face one another and take care of it simultaneously.

“How long will it take to take effect?” Fili asked. “I’m nearly done with your suds.”  
“They said it took minutes, not hours. Any moment, I suppose. I believe you’re ready to rinse, too,” Bofur said, sighing the last part in disappointment. 

Bofur poured water over Fili’s hair, smoothing through it to get the soap out. On his third pass, he paused. 

“I-I feel something. There’s a, a tingle in my fingers and palm.”

Bofur ran his hand experimentally over Fili’s hair again. 

“Oh gods…” he gasped.  
Biting his lip flirtatiously, Fili said, “Well, then, let me rinse you.”

Going to work, Fili observed with interest as Bofur’s writhing and groaning escalated to the like of a dwarf in the midst of magnificent sex--simply from having the water worked through his scalp! Fili ached with arousal from the effect the wine had on Bofur alone, until…

“I feel it, too,” he whispered, half afraid he might somehow scare the sensation away.  
“Let me,” Bofur said. 

Though most of the soap was gone from both sets of tresses, Bofur threaded his fingers through Fili’s hair and began to massage his scalp. Groaning, Fili did the same to Bofur. They met in the middle in a kiss, grunting, moaning, and panting against one another, growing louder as the thrill grew. Bofur rubbed his wet body against Fili’s, _all_ of his skin—head to toe—awash in frenzied stimulation. 

Bofur broke their kiss, still clutching and undulating against Fili. “I’m going to-“  
“Me too!”  
“ _How_?” was the last syllable Bofur croaked just ahead of his climax. 

Shuddering through pulse after seemingly never-ending pulse, he heard (and felt) Fili follow him right behind, his lasting just as long. 

Catching his breath, Fili loosened his grip on Bofur’s scalp. 

“I’ve never…I had no idea…”  
Equally dazed, Bofur said, “I believed them when they told us the story, truly I did. Experiencing it, though.”  
“You were more shocked than I was, and I was pretty damned shocked,” Fili chuckled. 

He glanced down and Bofur followed his gaze. 

“As advertised,” Bofur noted with a sly grin. “Still hard and ready.”  
“Another drink?”  
“Aye, please.”

Fili reached over to get their cups, stuttering a breath when his stomach grazed the side of the tub. 

As they drank, Fili noted, “I’m not sure how we are ever going to dry off.”  
“You’re already thinking of getting out?”  
“Well, erm, weren’t you?”

Bofur took the goblet from Fili’s hand, depositing them both over the edge. 

“I thought we’d have a little more fun.” Bofur reached for the cake of soap, lathering it between his hands and sighing for the feel of it. “Without the wine, I’ve always found the feeling of soap on your skin quite erotic. With the wine, I’m aiming for explosive.”  
Fili licked his lips. “Bo…”  
“What?” purred Bofur, smoothing two soapy hands down Fili’s damp shoulders. “According to the lads, we’re not going to run out of steam before the penetration, so what’s the harm?”

Fiii cried out from the sensation. 

“What’s the harm, indeed?” he managed to reply.

Fili snatched up the soap to make his own lather, scarcely able to hold it with the feeling shooting through him. He slid his arms around Bofur, smoothing slick hands up and down his shoulder blades, Not to be outdone, his lover reached up to tweak at his piercings. Fili tugged Bofur closer, fiercely claiming his mouth. He dropped his hands lower, massaging Bofur’s backside while Bofur teased his three piercings mercilessly in a cycle of delight. He felt the familiar pressure build again--still reeling at how such things could be possible at all—fumbling in the slick for Bofur’s cock.

Bofur rode these sensations—these wonderful, inconceivable sensations!—along the edge…and then Fili found his prize. Bofur choked on the next sound, agog. His erection had grown in sensitivity relative to the rest of him. He licked his lips, reaching out to demonstrate this newfound knowledge for Fili. Howling, they both came quite suddenly in each other’s palms—again, on and on longer than any orgasm Bofur could remember. They had a whole night of this ahead of them? Bofur didn’t know if he should be entertained or frightened by the notion.

With a final shudder, Fili fell against Bofur’s chest. 

He breathed, “I didn’t know…Durin’s bloody axe! The feeling _there_ gets augmented, too?”  
“Seems to be,” Bofur murmured, amused, against Fili’s damp hair.  
“Do you think- I mean if this is _this_ , what do you suppose, how do you think…” stammered Fili.  
Bofur named it for him. “You’re wondering about our arseholes?”  
“Mahal, Bo, can you imagine?” A tingle of delight went through Fili as Bofur loving stroked his shoulder. “Well, in a few moments I suppose we won’t have to imagine.”  
In a blink, Bofur’s gaze went from soft to hungry. “No, we won’t.”

Fili, for once, was wholly unconcerned about the semen in his bathwater. 

*****

Fire lit and clothes discarded, Kili lay his lover on the bed.

“Have you any clue how many times I was tempted to snatch you away today?”  
“Oh, how many?”

Kili took Bilbo’s hand, kissing each of his fingers every few words to punctuate them.

“At every stop we made today, and Bag End twice. I missed you last night, you know.”  
“And I missed you. Last night, all day, up until almost this very moment. I’ve not come since the last time we were together, despite temptation from all sides!”  
“I haven’t either, so you know.”  
“So, how about we uncork the bottle so thoughtfully left at the bedside and remedy that?” 

Kili plucked the bottle and dove in for a kiss. Grunting softly, he moved from Bilbo’s mouth to his jaw, mouthing at his neck. 

“You have the best ideas,” he noted in between nibbles.

He continued his downward movement, pausing between licks at Bilbo’s nipple rings to wrangle the bottle. The cork came free with a promising pop and Kili coated his fingers. 

“Shall I roll over?” asked Bilbo.  
“No, the blanket is protected and the difficulties of reach in this position are well worth being able to see your face as you feel me inside.”  
“You want that badly to watch me, yeah?”  
“Oh yes,” Kili drawled. “You’ve been desperate for it since at least The Blessing. You are always such a vision when you’ve been left wanting.”  
“You make me sound a tart!”

Kili’s eyes snapped to his, hooded with the same desire that smoked his voice.

“Do you wish to play my whore tonight?”

Bilbo wet his lips, considering. Other than occasional allusions, they did not play that game alone. Bilbo’s neglected prick twitched at the thought, a droplet already pooling at his slit. 

“Yes, Your Highness.”

Kili closed his eyes, savoring the surprise and obscenity of these first few moments. He always loved the beginning of their games—especially when Bilbo (like tonight) surprised him with his wishes. 

“I choose to take pleasure from your arse tonight. Spread your legs wider so I might ready you.”

Bilbo complied and Kili wasted not a moment, deftly locating his opening, teasing and spreading slick until he could dip inside. 

Kili asked, “Does this please you?”

Bilbo’s stuttering moan was his best reply. 

*****

Getting dried off and to the bed had been quite the challenge. As it was, both Bofur and Fili still had traces of soap residue in their hair and some dampness still on their skin when they reached the master bedroom.

“They filled the oil dish, too," observed Bofur. "Thoughful, our lads. More wine?”

Fili held out his goblet, noting there was still wine in the bottle even after Bofur had topped them up. Kili and Bilbo had both stressed not to gulp the wine, but to make sure to steadily drain the bottle as the night went. Fili idly wondered how his body would respond after the last drop of wine slipped down his throat. 

Lost in his lustful thoughts, Fili started as Bofur’s soft breath tickled his ear.

“Would you like to deliver the first breaching, my filthy golden god?”  
Turning into his arms, Fili replied, “I have thought about this many times in many ways, perhaps even finishing to it once-“  
“-Brilliant.”  
“-and the conclusion to which I’ve arrived is to give you unequivocal proof that I’m truly well and ready to be yours. I don’t want there to be any doubt in your mind; I want to be marked first.”  
“Fee, my dearest love, believe me when I tell you I know you are ready. I haven’t thought of that morning in ages. You even already carry my bond in your blood.”  
“I know, but this is its own living, breathing thing, tonight is its own commitment. This is my proof to you I’ll never leave you on the other side of this feeling again.”

Bofur opened his mouth to speak but Fili kissed him silent.

“Spread me open and make love to me, Bo. Make love to your _husband_ for the very first time.”

Bofur trembled with both the wine and emotion flowing through him, but not so much that he could not command his fingers. He urged Fili onto his back, raising his hips with a soft pillow.

Readying Fili proved as deliciously difficult as drying off from the bath. The pleasure skittering through Bofur’s fingertips was manageable enough—though novel—but Fili! Fili twisted and cried out in ecstasy with every stroke Bofur used to widen him. The wetness pooled against Fili’s trembling stomach in unprecedented amounts. More than once, Fili’s hand shot out to stay Bofur’s movement, not wanting to come again until Bofur was inside. 

Somehow, they made it, though Bofur almost muffed the whole deal when he went to oil his cock and nearly came. 

“I want this to be lovely--something worthy of a ballad--but I fear the reality is going to far less poetic,” Bofur joked, lining up at Fili’s entrance.  
“It already has been worthy of several ballads,” replied Fili breathlessly. “And there is so much more wine left.”  
“Fair enough.”

Bofur eased in a little, pulling back to ease in a little more, and by the time he was close to flush against his lover, Fili was contracting around him, crying out his name while coming hard and long. Bofur stopped trying to fight his own; in only a few strokes, he finished too. He fell forward, covering Fili’s chest with kisses. 

Gasping for air, Fili felt the fire of both bond and wine within him, each one making him more light-headed than the other. 

“Bo,” he whispered.  
Sensuous and quiet, Bofur asked, “Was it different?”  
“It was, though I can’t explain quite why. I want you to feel it, though. I _need_ you to feel it.”  
Bofur glanced down at both of their still-hard cocks. “Seems like that is a present possibility. Does the urgency ever fade, I wonder?”  
“I hope it doesn’t fade too much just yet. I want you to feel what I felt when you stretched me open. I could have come three times just from that.”  
“Hmmm, another sip of wine first?”

Fili winked at him. 

*****

On his hands and knees while Kili pressed into him from behind, Bilbo pushed back against each thrust.

“I had never bedded anyone when you first took me,” Kili said, smoothing a hand down the muscles of Bilbo’s back as he undulated. 

Bilbo could tell by Kili’s tone they were still to be playing their roles, but something else warmed his voice besides. 

“Oh, what you awoke in me! I was a virgin at your hands, unknowing but all too ready."

Kili rolled in and out of Bilbo sensuously and steadily in the silence between his thoughts.

"Since then, I’ve had my uncle thumb me open until I came, my own brother has lapped _your_ spend from my used hole, and just this very afternoon, my brother’s new husband licked promises into my mouth and—to my surprise—I’m looking forward to their fulfillment."

Bilbo's pulse quickened from Kili's obscene confession. This was an interesting way to play, veiled in shades of their game but still wholly truth. 

Kili continued, "You’ve done this, this sending me directly down the path of moral ruin, thrilling my body in the process.”

Bilbo felt Kili drape himself across his back and locked his arms to keep from falling flat against the bed. Kili’s breath was hot against his shoulder as he spoke again.

“Our sigil of ownership may be tattooed above your delectable bum but your name, your essence, is tattooed inside each one of my veins. You’re not just the whore of our house. You are the _sacred_ whore, leading us to physical and spiritual ecstasy. I worship your body as my altar, leaving you my most intimate offerings and accepting yours far too greedily for the sacrament they are. How can I help myself? How can I resist? I crave them, crave you, crave every drop of delight I can pull from you as though it were my own.”

Kili pulled out and stretched out on his back, beckoning for Bilbo to re-seat himself on his cock. 

Complying, Bilbo sank down around him. He trembled with his need, magnified tenfold by Kili's raw and arousing--while unmistakably reverent and tender--words. 

“Fuck me, _use_ me," pleaded Kili. "I’m your willing devotee.”

Bilbo threw his head back and moaned, moving faster. 

Kili cried out as Bilbo rose and fell on him. Kili sat up as best he could, clutching around Bilbo’s waist, kissing and tonguing his chest. The tip of Bilbo’s erection brushed against his chest and Kili had a wicked thought. Curling inward, he licked at it, causing Bilbo to stutter a new sound. 

“My sacred whore,” Kili murmured. 

Kili said something after that, though he whispered it so softly Bilbo couldn’t hear it over the sound of their bodies sliding. Kili’s mouth closed around half his cock, the suction tightening as Bilbo continued to ride him. Bilbo vocalized low as the two of them moved together, raising in pitch as the thrill grew more desperate. He chased his pleasure from both front to back, feeling Kili grow more frantic from the same. The vibration from Kili’s prick-muffled shout rumbled through him as Kili came inside. 

“No, no,” Bilbo whimpered involuntarily, so close himself. 

Quickly, he was on his back with fingers in his arse, Kili’s mouth now enveloping him whole with each stroke. Before he could form words to warn Kili it was nigh, his orgasm shook him. No matter; Kili drank him eagerly.

When the last of Bilbo’s tremors subsided, Kili crawled up next to him and encouraged him to fold into his arms. 

“That was…by the gods, do you have any idea how much I love going to bed with you?” Kili sighed happily.  
Bilbo squeezed him, replying, “Oh, I get an inkling now and then.”  
“We should probably make love more often, just so you can be sure.”  
“If we make love more often, both of ours are going to fall off.”

Kili laughed, shaking both of their bodies. 

“That was, erm, an interesting way to play our game," ventured Bilbo.  
Kili pushed himself up to rest his head on his hand, looking at Bilbo. “I don’t know what started me in that direction, but once I started, it just spilled out.”  
“The things you said? Were they all part of the play?”  
Kili’s soulful eyes stared into his. “You know outside of our play I would never refer to you as a whore.”  
“And the rest?”  
“I meant it.” 

Though Bilbo had introduced penetrative sex itself to the dwarrows, he had often thought of Kili being the actual and merry leader of their particular brand of obscenity and moral ambiguity. He was always so curious and _eager_ to investigate and pursue physical delight, cheerfully and without self-consciousness. He took many of the things introduced to him and dissected them, putting them back together in brilliant ways that had not yet occurred to any of them. To hear Kili somehow credit Bilbo as the architect of it all was heady flattery indeed. 

*****

Bofur did not make it through his preparations without coming. He seemed a bit embarrassed, but Fili was quite pleased. Even more intriguing, Bofur’s usual (copious) volume of seed was now cooling on his abdomen, the wine somehow defying what Fili knew to be the limits of Bofur’s anatomy.

Managing to make it inside without finishing himself, Fili gazed into Bofur’s eyes.

“Can you handle a bit of movement?”  
Bofur swallowed. “Aye, I think I may last a bit longer this time.”

Rolling his hips, Fili established a rhythm. Though the smooth movement might have given one the idea Fili was in full control, the intensity of the wine had him spiraling in quite the opposite direction. In the small bursts of clarity he managed, he might have been embarrassed at the noises he was making...had Bofur not matched him in both volume and frenzy. 

For his part, Bofur--who prided his masterful filthy talk as a key part of his sexual arsenal--was spun out too far on his senses to yet notice he was only currently babbling and keening. 

Close, Fili reached for Bofur's cock, unsure how much additional stimulation Bofur would need after having come mere minutes before. They managed to reach their climax less than a dozen breaths apart. Fili disengaged and adjusted so he could stretch himself across Bofur’s body, not caring about the mess they were making. 

Bofur blearily grinned at him, exhaling happily. “Ah, there it is!”  
“Mmm, there what is?”  
“I’ve been craving the feeling of your soul in my blood since I woke this morning. I’ve come what, four, five times tonight? But this, _this_ is what I’ve been waiting for.” 

Fili felt suddenly guilty for insisting on being marked first. Had he voiced it, though, Bofur would have reassured him they would have gotten there either way…and he would have been right. 

Scooting up to kiss him, Fili said, “From what I understand, you’ll get plenty of that lovely rush before we’re done.”  
Bofur stroked Fili’s hair. “We’re married. Married and properly consummated. If I didn’t feel you on me-- _in_ me, in my blood—I would say I didn’t believe it.”  
“I’ve wanted this for so long. Too often I’ve been a fool, running from this thing I should have been sprinting toward with all my strength.”  
“Those times you were scared, I understand it wasn’t me you were runnin’ from, Fee.”  
“I’m endlessly lucky you always ran after me.”

Bofur pulled him down, claiming his mouth passionately. 

*****

Bilbo grinded against Kili as they kissed, relishing the hardness against his own arousal. Their growing fervor was interrupted by Kili’s grin…followed by a case of Kili’s giggles. Kili’s mind sometimes replayed his favorite memories when he was aroused and tipsy. Bilbo had learned this by the many times Kili smiled or giggled to himself, sometimes volunteering the recollection before Bilbo had to ask.

“What?” Bilbo asked, already in danger of catching the contagious laughter himself.  
“We’ve certainly come a long way from ‘you can’t come in.’” 

Now Bilbo _did_ laugh. It gave Bilbo a warm and quite joyful feeling to hear Kili was thinking of the first time they laid eyes on each other. 

He said, “You didn’t even have my name right, if you’ll remember."

The laughter faded, but the delight and love still shone from Kili’s eyes.

“And now I wear it,” he said softly. 

Bilbo surged forward and kissed him again. 

*****

Bofur and Fili were now at the wine’s full sway, having drained the bottle to the last. Bofur had once again set Fili on his back, wanting to gaze at him while they made love. As before, Fili had stretched and spread his legs so Bofur did not have to fold Fili in half to do so, increasing the closeness.

Though Bilbo and Kili had given them various warnings and advice about the wine, Bofur hadn't understood the wine would inebriate them in addition to acting as an aphrodisiac. His head was light and fuzzy around the edges, even as his body _sang_ with the utter rapture every where his skin touched Fili’s. Moving within him, Bofur looked at his husband—really looked at him—and his breath was taken. Fili gazed back at him unfettered, vulnerable, and so unbelievably trusting. Bofur was struck by what an utter gift it was. In all the times and ways they had made love (or simply shared soft whispers in the dark), Bofur had never truly _seen_ Fili’s devotion so clearly, nor felt it so completely. 

Was it the wine that exposed his lover’s soul? Or that opened Bofur’s own eyes at last? Or was it now, their marriage, the effect of both vow and bond combined on his heart and spirit?

One of Fili’s hands rested next to his head and Bofur slid his own into it, palm to palm, clasping their fingers together tenderly. 

“Kiss me,” Fili begged hoarsely, curling forward to make the request easier to grant.

They came, locked together in that same intimate embrace. 

Panting, Bofur rolled off Fili. “My tadger doesn’t yet appear to need it, but my lungs are going to explode if I don’t take a moment.”

Fili shifted to his side, gazing over Bofur’s body where it had landed next to him with a soft whoosh. He noticed things perhaps he had appreciated before, but had not touched him as much as at this moment: the sweat on Bofur’s skin, the generous run of hair across his torso, the rapid rise and fall of his chest as he came down from his orgasm, the visible pulse of his blood through that special artery in his neck…all these things that proved Bofur was real and alive in their bed. He thought back to all the times they fought battles side by side—and the one particular time they were separated and could not—and considered that had an axe fallen this way or a halberd that, they might not have made it to this dear moment. 

“Bo,” Fili said, his voice shaded deep with desire. “I need to feel you, feel you hard. I have to know what the wine does when we suspend tenderness for frenzy.”  
“I need just a little longer and perhaps a gulp of water, my gorgeous Fee, but rest assured it has been my plan all along to do exactly that.” 

*****

“I’ve been thinking today,” Kili said. “I might like you and me to do something like this day for ourselves every year.”  
“You do?”  
“Maybe not with an officiant and Pairs and the rest, but maybe we get dressed up, give each other a pretty little bauble, speak some vows in front of a couple of friends, and do a little celebrating…maybe throw a party if there are none to go to, or maybe the Dragon for some carousing before we head back home and debauch each other. Maybe we could even travel sometimes—could you imagine taking vows next to our waterfall in Rivendell? The one in our dream from the first bottle of Lover’s Wine?”  
“Kee, that sounds…well, it sounds wonderful.”  
“I’m glad you think so, because that leads me to another thing I’ve been thinking about today.”  
“Oh?”  
“I’ve been thinking about Thorin.”  
“Me too,” Bilbo confessed.  
“The guilt hit me strong today that Thorin did not get to experience a wedding like this. I’m sure he loved the one he got, intimate as it was, but I can’t help feel he was denied something still. Both of you, really, because his wedding was yours, too.”  
“You’ve been so generous with my heart—I’m often stunned you were okay with Thorin having vows at all—and of course it is your thoughtful nature to think he was due more…”  
“Do you not feel as though he, you both, might have been slighted due to time not being on your side to figure these things out before he left?”  
“Honestly, yes. Oh, dear heart, I confess Thorin has been in my mind for much of the day and for the same reasons. I just—for you to say so, too, you being my Chosen…well, I don’t know-“  
“-Bee, if we’re going to make this work, we have to look at it for what it is. The time for me to jealously rage and wring my hands with insecurity belongs on the _other_ side of the decision we made, not on this one. What I am seeing now is people I love who love each other and trying to find our best ways to honor and acknowledge that.”

Bilbo swallowed around the emotion in his throat and nodded. 

“Thinking about Thorin and weddings and all the rest, I think perhaps when he next visits the Shire, maybe we put together something like today. Maybe someone you care about officiates instead of the Thain, but you two could still have the whole day, get dressed up special, select Pairs, and so on. If you still need to keep it quiet like Fili did, you could pick another festival day to have your dances, your feasts, and your merriment. I think the two of you would only benefit from it.”  
“I confess I would like that very much.” Bilbo huffed a wistful laugh. “I suppose there’s no procedure in place for one husband to serve as Pair for his Chosen to wed a second groom, is there?”  
“You would choose me?" asked Kili softly. "Not Bo?”  
“Oh, Kee…if it wouldn’t be painful for you, I don’t know how I could possibly select another.”

Kili was married to Bilbo, bonded so often he had long since lost count, and Bilbo had besides proven his loyalty many times over, yet each time Bilbo let him know his importance, it still left Kili breathless. 

“Oh, my jewel. I would be so honored. Besides, you wouldn’t do it if it was painful to me,” Kili said.  
“No,” Bilbo said with surety. “I would not.”  
“If distance wasn't a factor, who do you think Thorin would select as his Pair?”  
“Probably Dwalin or Balin, if I had to guess.”  
Grinning mischievously, Kili asked, “Could you imagine either of their faces if I laid one of our style of Pair kisses on Thorin in front of them?”  
Bilbo burst into laughter.  
Kili added, “Or if you tried to give _them_ one?”  
“Merciful Eru!” squeaked Bilbo through his giggles. “You have to stop or I’ll get a cramp!”  
Kili laughed, “I wish you could see Balin’s expression in my mind right now! Or Dwalin’s!”  
“Oh, wait,” Bilbo said, sobering a touch. “Dwalin has seen Thorin naked with both of us…and markedly does not approve. I can’t imagine, amusing as it would be, that he would want any part of anything that involves kissing me or you kissing Thorin, no matter how chaste.”  
Kili hummed out his last remaining giggle. “You had to go and be practical, didn’t you?”  
“Oops,” said Bilbo, wiping the mirth from his eyes.  
“No matter. All fun aside—and I don’t mean to be hurtful—Thorin’s Pair couldn’t be Dwalin or Balin either one. Neither of them would give their blessing to this, Bee.”  
“I named them as I was thinking of whom Thorin counts the closest…it took me a moment to remember the reality of our situation and what it means for dwarrows.”

A cloud seemed to cover Bilbo’s features as the potential dwarven repercussions of Thorin’s marriage to Bilbo—and Kili’s consent to such—suddenly swirled in his mind.

Kili tipped Bilbo’s face to his. “Come, now, do not be melancholy. We were just having a good time, right?”  
“Yes,” Bilbo answered quietly.  
“And before that we were having quite a _spectacular_ time, were we not?”  
Grinning now, Bilbo said, “We were.”  
“Thorin knew what he was doing, just as you did, just as I did. Though this decision came at a price, Thorin decided it was one he was willing to pay. If he was here, he would tell you himself. Since he is not, I feel duty-bound to remind you on his behalf.”  
“You’re right.”  
“Okay, then. No more furrowed brow tonight.”

Bilbo kissed him. 

“No more furrowed brow,” he agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion of Fili's & Bofur's wine sex party <3


	45. The Wedding, Fili and Bofur Edition:  The Wedding Night Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6k+ words of some of the filthiest smut I've ever written...
> 
> ...until we get to Erebor :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the dream, I did my best to avoid confusion. Whenever one of them is thinking or speaking, it is the consciousness of whomever is notated and not the body they are in. I've also thrown in a few asides here and there where they acknowledge they are not in their own bodies to also help road-map out any confusion.
> 
> Also, in the dream chapter, I've used bold to emphasize where I would normally use italics. 
> 
> Have fun ;)

With as much as Fili loved to be taken roughly, Bofur was quite surprised to find Fili had every intention of doing it to him first. Bofur was not about to argue for otherwise, however. Given the properties bestowed by the wine, this promised to be even more mind-bending than it was normally.

“I want you here, knees on the bench,” Fili growled. “You can use the foot rail to hold onto.”

Bofur did as he was asked, getting up on the tufted bench Bilbo and Kili sometimes kept at the foot of their bed. It was deep enough for only him to fit (without some feat of balance) and lewd curiosity fizzed through his veins as he pondered how Fili might choose to utilize it.

Fili gazed at the breathing, erotic art that was his lover. Bofur had already taken his position: knees spread, hands on the rail, and his pert bottom thrust backwards and begging for entry. Though Bofur was still stretched and wet, Fili liberally coated himself with oil.

“Fee?”  
“Yeah?”  
“Show me no mercy.”  
“I adore you.”  
“I soon hope to be likewise screaming my devotion.”

Fili stood behind him, assessing height. He urged Bofur to spread his legs wider, bringing him lower, and encouraged him to sit on his calves. Fili lined up and pushed, quickly sinking in full. Taking a moment for himself, he began to thrust, quickly ramping up his intensity. Using Bofur’s waist for leverage on either side, Fili snapped his hips. He relished the slapping sounds with each go. The sensation was tremendous and not only for him: as requested, Bofur was indeed screaming, occasionally grunting out adoring sentiments in Khuzdul.

“Do you want it harder?” Fili teased.  
“Please!”

Fili closed his hands over Bofur’s along the foot rail. Their hands, their hips, Fili’s stomach, Bofur’s back—everywhere their skin touched—reacted with their wine...and the connection between their bodies exponentially moreso. Fili pounded into Bofur, forcing their orgasms from them in the indescribable rapture of it all.

Fili’s thighs burned and his head swam. With some distant shred of reason, he figured the last few swallows of wine must have just activated in him, because he was still frantic for it despite the explosive finish he just experienced.

Swiping his fingers through the mess Bofur made, he wiped them across Bofur’s mouth.

Bofur rolled his eyes lustfully. “Fuck, _yes_!”

Fili tugged him back against him, straining to help lick Bofur's own spend from his lips. He released him after, helping him off the bench so he could stretch his legs.

“Has your last cup of wine taken effect?” Fili asked.  
“I don’t know how I’d know. I’ve been drunk and _sex_ -drunk for half the night, now. I’ll tell you one thing, though.” Bofur pulled Fili close to him, kissing him obscenely. “I want to fuck you. No, I _need_ to, right this very moment, just as much as you _need_ to feel what I just felt. I’ve never been so happy to be split in two.”

Fili was on his hands and knees with his arse up in the air almost before Bofur could finish his thought. Bofur joined him on the bed, grabbing his hips and tugging him backwards, the thrill from the touch making them both groan.

“I don’t want to wait for you to slick yourself,” Fili begged.  
“Too bad,” Bofur replied, doing it anyway. “You’re going to want me slick for the hammering I’m about to give you.”

Bofur started in as soon as he pressed inside, delivering better than he promised for several moments. Fili howled his pleasure, his previous climax seeming not to matter at all to his insides, which were coiling tight for another rush.

“Fee! Now, Valar’s sake, _now_! I can’t hold on-“

Bofur reached out, meaning to grab Fili’s shoulder but instead pulling his hair. As though it was a magic switch, Fili twitched around him, calling his name as he finished. Bofur kept up his pace, coming as Fili’s final waves subsided.

Fili rested his face on the bed, gasping. “I think…that’s got to be it. I don’t know how there’s another drop left in me.”

Bofur had not pulled out after he finished and was now rocking in and out of Fili slowly.

“Aye, it would seem that way to the rational order of things, but we are under an elvish spell. The lads say the end is when the prick softens. As you can feel, mine is still quite set.”

Bofur reached underneath Fili.

“And yours is, too.”  
“I don’t know if I can bear coming again. Each one feels more intense than the one before, and they go on _so long_ ,” said Fili.  
“Is that a complaint?”  
“No! It is just…a lot.”  
“Be careful what you wish for, eh?”  
“Hard or not, I feel used up. It feels wonderful, what you’re doing, but I’m not sure you’re getting another spurt from me.”  
Sensing a challenge, Bofur picked up his pace. “Perhaps I could use you up a little more?”

Fili threw his head back with a moan.

“Sounds like a yes to me. Oh, how I’m going to fuck you.”

Soon they were back to the fervent pace that had just brought each of them off, though this time Bofur had a marginally clearer mind.

“The sounds you make, Fee! The feel of you!”

Bofur reached around Fili’s torso, using his strength to pull him up, Fili’s back flush to Bofur’s chest, leaning back on both their knees with Bofur’s bearing the most of the weight.

“Bo! Oh _fuck_! What are you _doing_ to me?” Fili cried.  
Low and sensuous, Bofur replied, “Unraveling you to the last, like you said I could.”  
“Yes!”  
“If there is a drop left in you, I’m going to force it out,” hissed Bofur.

Bofur braced Fili with one arm across his front, ribbons of pleasure shooting through him at the point of contact. Satisfied he could hold them both up, Bofur used the other hand to stroke Fili’s cock.

“You’re wet with a little of everything, I imagine. Sex, arousal, maybe a bit of oil from just having it off in my arse.”

Fili wailed in response.

“It will make for a useful slide.”

Bofur bucked against Fili, moving them both with each snap of his hips. His hand followed the rhythm he set.

All Fili could do was lean in and hold on with Bofur milking him inside and out. His biology had begun catching up with the wine, but only just a little—just enough to draw it out to the brink of delicious agony.

Finally, wracked and wrung out, Fili whined, “Gods, I’m going to come!” as though he couldn’t believe it.  
“Let it happen,” Bofur purred in his ear.

Fili shook and sobbed as he came, pulse after pulse after blinding pulse. It seemed as though his very core had split open, revealing a white-hot ball of bright light. Moments later—he honestly did not know how long—the bright light turned to a brilliant, fiery orange as Bofur’s bond again shot through his body, frizzling in his blood with the wine and the remainders of all the marks that had preceded it that evening. He collapsed forward, stunned and hazy. He felt Bofur’s weight on his back and heard Bofur murmuring his name softly, over and over, in his ear.

Bofur rolled off Fili and Fili moved, too, landing next to him on his back. Fili’s cock was finally softening, the limits of his body finally outmatching the magic.

“I hope the drunkenness lasts a little longer, because I’m sure everything would hurt right now otherwise,” Fili joked.

He glanced over, noticing that Bofur’s cock was still very much affected.

“Oh, we’re…we’re not apace, it seems.”

Bofur sighed. “It does not seem so.”

“Do you need…what do you need?”

Bofur looked at Fili—beautifully wrecked, marked, bitten, and scratched—figuring that if the arousal of the wine was wearing off, what might still be thrilling for him might be uncomfortable at best for his prince.

Especially emotional from their day, evening, and (he was sure no small part) from the alcohol in his body, Bofur said, “You did everything you said you would and more tonight. You opened up to me fully, baring body and soul. You let yourself go, gave yourself over to me, and you loved me—well and truly _loved_ me, in all senses of the word—all night long. I can only hope you saw what you needed in me, that you were able to take what you wanted, that I had given you me as much as you’ve given me you.”

Bofur rose to his knees and straddled Fili’s abdomen, stretching across them to dip his fingers in the oil. He rolled in his lips nervously, licking them before he spoke again.

“You’ve given me all and I will not press for more tonight simply because my magic has not yet worn off. Instead,” Bofur slicked his shaft, giving it slow deliberate beats as he continued speaking. “I’m going to give you what I have left. If you have not yet seen my vulnerability tonight, see it now as I kneel, touching myself for you.”  
“Oh, Bo…” whispered Fili.

Bofur locked his gaze with Fili’s, making love to him with his eyes, wordlessly sharing anything left unconveyed by their bodies or voices. Though he had masturbated for Fili many times, he had never felt quite as exposed, bare, or raw. He felt the warmth of Fili’s hands caressing his thighs, working with the wine to spike the excitement already building within him. Fili’s touches grew firmer as one hand quested around Bofur’s hip and the other between his legs. Fingers dipped into his cleft, forcing his breath out in an ecstatic huff.

“Fee,” Bofur whispered.

He felt Fili’s fingers slip past his entrance, their gaze unwavering throughout.

Fili drank in the sight of Bofur. His hair was mussed, his skin splotched with both flush as well as the marks Fili had left on him, and his body and hair were damp with the effort of their night of coupling. Bofur looked utterly ruined. Fili filed away the memory for inspiration at a later date.

“Come on me, Bo.”

Biting his lip, all the glorious tension within Bofur snapped and--dizzy with pleasure and wine--Bofur came, shuddering, groaning, and flexing around Fili inside him. His head fell back and he bucked into each throb, well into the aftershocks. He stayed like that, eyes closed, for several moments after his lover’s fingers had retreated. He climbed off Fili to lie down, a weariness slowly cloaking him. Glancing down, as he suspected, he noticed himself softening.

“I think I’ve caught up,” he noted.  
“Brilliantly so, if I may say.”  
Bofur smiled. “You may.”  
“Oof, I don’t want to move.”  
“Me either, but we’ve made a bit of a mess.”  
“That’s like saying the Battle was a bit of a dust up.”

Bofur laughed and it almost _hurt_. He climbed out of bed to get them a flannel, finding more aches along the way.

Returning, he said, “We have done a number on each other, you realize. Tomorrow morning is going to be rough.”

He mopped at the mess on Fili’s torso.

Fili gently reached out to grasp Bofur’s wrist. “Worth it.”  
“Incredibly worth it,” Bofur agreed, returning Fili’s gaze.

They finished with the cursory clean-up, removed the protective blanket from atop the bedding (which definitely needed washing, having served its purpose well), and climbed underneath the covers. Fili immediately snuggled into Bofur’s side.

“I’m so glad I married you, Bo. I love you.”  
“I love you too. Now sleep. We’ve earned it.”  
“Mmmm,” Fili said, nuzzling him.

A few moments went by before Fili’s eyes flew open. “Oh!”

Startled, Bofur jolted out of his doze.

“What? What’s going on? Are you alright?”  
“I am, but I almost forgot! The dream!”  
“What dream?”  
“Kee told me tonight. With the wine comes one last gift: a sex dream. He said to be sure to tell you so you would not be confused when it happened.”  
“Is that so? Did he elaborate any more?”  
“It is to be a mutual dream, you and me having it at the same time. Kee said it isn’t always the same dream, but he said it will likely be sex that would not be possible with our waking forms.”  
“Intriguing, to be sure. Well,” he yawned. “I hope you’re as worn out as I am. It would be unfortunate for me to be kept waiting.”  
Fili hummed a giggle. “I’ll see you in a little while?”  
“I'm looking forward to it,” Bofur said, kissing Fili’s hair.

 

****

_“We’re…we’re at Beorn’s?” Bofur wondered aloud, glancing around._  
_Fili went from room to room. “There’s a fire burning but no one is home.”_  
_“There’s more than one fire burning, if you follow me. My cock is hard as though tonight hadn’t happened at all!”_  
_“Now that you mention it…Valar’s sake! It is like I’ve got stone down my pants.”_  
_“You said it was a sex dream, yeah?” Bofur was already shedding clothes._  
_Fili stripped, too. “Whether it is or not, the urgency is growing in me by the second! If we talk for too much longer, I might come all by myself. You know, I’ve wanted to make love on that chair ever since we caught Bee and Kee in here.”_  
_“Cor, right here in the parlor! Filthy prince, you are!”_

_Bofur drew Fili in for a kiss, slicking his tongue past his lips most insistently. In the deepest heat of it, they both gasped, drawing apart._

_“What was that?” Fili asked…in a voice that was not his own._  
_“Wait, Fee?”_  
_“Bo?”_  
_“What mischief is this?” Bofur leaned back, seeing himself standing in front of him._  
_“Kee said it would be something likely not possible in waking life.”_  
_“But you’re me and I’m you? I don’t understand,” Bofur said._  
_“This is lunacy!”_  
_“I know!”_  
_“I’m so incredibly turned on right now.”_  
_“Fuck, me too,” Bofur growled, kissing himself breathless._

_When they parted again, there was a light in Fili’s (well, Bofur’s) eyes._

_“Oh, **Bo!** I get to touch my body everywhere I know I love— **while you are inside me to feel it**. You get to do the same to me.”_  
_Realization dawned. “We get to teach each other about ourselves by driving the other’s wagon, so to speak.”_  
_“This is going to be-_  
_“-fucking spectacular.”_

_Fili dipped in, kissing the spot under his ear that always sent shivers through his core. Bofur skimmed the nipple on what had recently been his own body, making Fili gasp._

_“Even the things I know you like, I get to feel them as you,” Fili said. “Even something as simple as hearing your voice when I speak...Durin’s Light!”_  
_“I feel your cock dripping!” Bofur whined, touching it. “Fuck, I could just stand here and touch you everywhere, stroke you, make you come…all with your own hands.”_  
_“It is tempting,” Fili agreed, giving himself an experimental tug of his own. “But how often will we ever say we had a chance to come inside ourselves?”_  
_“I wish I knew how long this was going to last. I’d do both.” He reached out a tentative hand, but did not yet make contact. “May I explore?”_  
_Fili quirked Bofur’s own impish smile back at him. “It is your body, after all.”_  
_“I **know** that. I did not know if you were feeling skittish, first of all, to want a touch at all. Secondly, I wouldn’t mind this very unique chance to show you around…maybe see some sights myself.”_  
_Fili laughed. “Please, **please** be my guest.”_

_Bofur looked at himself—really looked at himself—naked in the firelight. He didn’t look the way he saw himself in the mirror, not even close. The Bofur across from him was gorgeous, enticing, delectable, irresistible. His breath left him in a sudden huff as he realized--this was how he looked to Fili._

_Sensuously, he moved closer, running his hand down Fili’s arm, threading their fingers together._

_“Fee?” he murmured. “Tell me what you see.”_  
_“I see…well, I-I guess I see me, but…”_  
_“But? Go on.”_  
_Fili wet his lips. “It is me as I’ve never seen me. I’m, I’m-“_  
_“Beautiful?”_  
_“Well, yes,” replied Fili, glancing down in embarrassment as sounding so prideful. “It is making me, um,”_  
_“Wanting to fuck yourself rotten, aren’t you? Like you’re some erotic gift of the Valar,” Bofur said, nibbling at the place on his collarbone he loved. Kissing down his chest, he stopped to graze his teeth across a nipple. “You feel like you might climb out of your shell if you don’t reach out and thumb that bead of wet arousal off the tip of your own cock. You’re looking at your face and your body and all you can think of is how to either fuck or be fucked by this magnificent creature in front of you.”_  
_“Mahal, **Bo** ,” Fili groaned._  
_“I know because that’s how I feel when I look at you. You’re not only in my body, awash in what would be my sensations. You’re also seeing yourself with my eyes.”_  
_“This is almost too much. I feel drunk with all these impulses and feelings inside me. My head is spinning.”_  
_Pausing to lower himself to his knees, Bofur said, “Oh, my love. You’ve not felt anything yet.”_

_Bofur wrapped his lips around the head of his own cock, hearing his voice moan above him. He was, admittedly, thicker than Fili. Luckily, the mouth he was using was used to taking him in. He licked and swirled and sucked in all his favorite ways, smoothing one hand across his stones. He could tell by Fili’s breathing and moaning when he was getting a little too close and backed off. He continued kissing southward, pausing at the backs of his knees._

_“Oh!” Fili said from somewhere above him. “I didn’t know that was so lovely for you!”_

_Bofur worked kisses down to his toes and up, touring his back side this time. He paused to tongue at his own arse._

_Surprised, he said, “Oi, you’re, I mean I’m…well, we’re slick!”_  
_“We are?”_  
_“Seems to be.”_

_Fili hummed. It was yet another mystery of the wine. He pitched forward onto the chair as Bofur licked into him in earnest._

_“Put your fingers in me,” he begged._

_He spent the longest time span of time at two fingers in, demonstrating Fili how much he loved the delicious rub of fingerpads along his sweet spot—and Fili did not disappoint at being responsive to it. It seemed an elaborate masturbation, fingering his own hole to pull those lovely sounds from his throat. Still, Fili was in there, blurring the lines and driving him wild._

_The odd dream-nature of not needing slick made continued experimenting easier and more efficient than it would have been in life, which is why Bofur found himself surprisingly with four fingers plus his thumb, gathered to a point and invading his hole almost to the second knuckle. More surprisingly, Fili **loved** it, stopping him only because he thought he might come and he did not know the limits of the dream._

_**Interesting** , though Bofur. He wondered if he would enjoy that much stretch with enough preparation, or if it was Fili’s own preference for the burn and stretch seeping through._

_He continued his journey up his back, paying specific attention to special areas of his neck and ears. He urged Fili to turn around and leaned in, tasting his own kiss again._

_“I love being in your body,” Fili confessed. “I love feeling your pleasure, breathing your air, knowing how it is you feel when I have you so hard and wanting that you practically vibrate from it. You are magnificent, Bo.”_

_Bofur leaned his forehead against Fili’s, emotion welling within him._

_“Would you allow me to give you my full tour?” asked Fili._  
_“I thought you might not ever ask.”_

_Fili urged him to bend over the chair, much in the position he was just in. He stood for a moment, looking at his own back in a way he was usually never afforded. He noticed a couple thin, white scars left over from their journey had had not realized he wore. His hair seemed like it was made of purely spun gold. **So this is what Bo sees when he calls me his golden god,** Fili thought. His eyes dropped to the round, muscular fullness of his bottom. His arousal surged as to almost make him physically falter. He huffed a quick laugh._

_“What?” Bofur asked._  
_“I’m suddenly struck by the absurdity that, in your body, I’m gagging for my own arse.”_  
_“It is an arse worth gagging for.”_  
_“That’s what your body and eyes are telling me.”_  
_“So, I have to ask…”_  
_“Yeah?”_  
_“Are you fucking painting me or are you going to seduce me?”_  
_Fili gave his bum a smack. “You do things your way, I’ll do them mine.”_  
_“But you’re me,” teased Bofur._

_Fili draped himself over his back, starting with sucking a claiming mark into his neck, twice as hard as he would normally have done it to Bo._

_“How’s that for a start?”_  
_“That was…by the gods, it feels like this for you?”_  
_“Mmmhmmm.”_

_Fili licked, sucked, and bit his way down his back, free to be as wanton and rough as he wished, knowing for once he wasn’t going to hurt his lover. When he reached the base of his spine, he reached up with both hands and scratched from his shoulders to his buttocks._

_“ **Fuck!** ” cried Bofur. “Fee, I’ve been far too gentle with you all these months.”_  
_“I wouldn’t say that. You’ve been plenty rowdy with me when the session calls for it. Think of this more as my way of showing you how much further out my limits potentially float.”_  
_“Your cock is steady dripping, your body loves this so much. I’m almost sad you aren’t in here for being done up proper in the way you like. On the plus side, I’m quite glad this is not Beorn’s actual chair, or it would be quite stained already.”_  
_“Are you ready for more intimate explorations?”_  
_“Please.”_

_Fili spread Bofur at the cleft, discovering he was indeed wet and shiny, with no need to fret over oil. He dipped in for a taste, discovering that this—just as his skin and his tongue—was exquisite. Bofur truly loved the taste of him, then. Fili eagerly looked ahead to sampling his cock with Bofur’s tongue, too. He teased enough to make Bofur whine, his body reacting with another spike of arousal from the sheer sound of it._

_Using Bofur’s tongue to give his hole a proper seeing to, even louder sounds spilled out into the parlor. He could no longer resist something more substantial and pushed in—three fingers at once. Bofur shook and screamed, the muscles in his thighs twitching with desire._

_“Maker’s mercy!,” panted Bofur. “Just like that! You—it—but you didn’t, and I…how many fingers was that?”_  
_“Three.”_  
_“I had no idea it felt like that for you. Three, straight away, and it felt incredible.”_  
_“Have we only just met?” teased Fili. “You know I love the burn of you.”_  
_“You certainly do,” he replied his voice filled with wonder._  
_“Here’s where the real fun begins, though.”_  
_“Color me happily terrified.”_

_Within minutes, Fili managed to get three fingers from each hand two knuckles deep inside his arse before Bofur had to stop him for fear of finishing. Bofur’s shouts and filthy talk were driving Fili quite out of his mind. His cock throbbed with want and he had half a mind to mount him straight away. There were other things to taste and demonstrate, though, so Fili reluctantly moved on._

_Soon it was time for Bofur to turn over and be seated. Beorn’s chair was so large, Bofur could have easily fallen back flat—or been fully laid out between the chair arms--but Fili preferred him seated for his own plans and ease of movement._

_Fili nuzzled at his stones, licking at them at first, then opening his mouth to take them in, one by one. By the time he moved to his cock, it was quite wet. Fili licked stripes along the length, savoring the taste of himself on his tongue. He closed his eyes and moaned, taking the whole thing in and discovering—to his delight-there was more pre-ejaculate to be pulled from within. He sucked at himself greedily, doing things Bofur already knew Fili liked as well as teaching him a trick or two. They both vocalized together—Fili, for how much he was discovering Bofur adored fellating him, and Bofur, for being the current recipient of Fili’s particular knowledge and talent._

_Nibbling at his navel, Fili moved across his abdomen and up to his chest, pinching here, scratching there, almost able to hear Bofur making meticulous notes. He bit into a nipple, especially to show Bofur how marvelously sensitive his piercings truly were. Bofur’s reactions did not disappoint, and Fili wore a smug grin across his collarbones, up his neckline, across his jaw, until at last they were kissing again. This time, Fili climbed into his lap, straddling him._

_Fili rubbed their noses together. “Did you enjoy the tour?”_  
_“You know I did. It was immensely educational. How was it for me?” joked Bofur._  
_“Oh, your body enjoyed the taste and the feel of it quite thoroughly. I think,” Fili reached behind to line Bofur’s cock up to his hole. “it might enjoy some more.”_

_Fili knew Bo would especially like to know how sex felt for Fili’s body in this position, loving it as Bofur did._

_Concerned, Bofur glanced around. “Are we sure we won’t need to add slick? Not that I see any close by even if we did.”_  
_“Kee didn’t mention that part, only that the sex here might defy reality. I think blissful arse-fucking without lubricant of some sort firmly qualifies as defying reality, don’t you?”_  
_“I suppose we’ll find out, yeah?”_

_Fili’s answer was to drop himself—minutely in case he miscalculated—onto the head of Bofur’s (well, his, really) cock. There was a feeling of pressure and the beginnings of fullness but no pain. He risked a little more length, discovering quite happily their summation was correct: no need to fiddle with oil bottles at dream-Beorn’s._

_“This was how you first marked me,” observed Bofur._  
_“Yes.”_  
_“And now I get to feel what it was like for you?”_  
_“That was part of the reasoning.”_

_Bofur closed his eyes and moaned._

_The more pressing worry of oil swept aside, Bofur let himself revel in what their lovemaking felt like for Fili. Although the basics of it were the same—a tight channel wrapped around a sensitive prick—he found one dwarf’s nerve-endings weren’t the same as another. Pleasure raced through this body with interesting variances to how it raced through his own. Even his own skin (which he had stroked many times in his life) felt different to Fili’s hands. He pushed into **himself** , fucking his own body, thoroughly wrapped up in the fascination of it all._

_Fili whimpered, overwhelmed. “I’m me, but I’m you. All these feelings, the way you feel…but it is the way **I** feel-“_

_His voice broke on the last word._

_“I feel it too, everything as you just said,” Bofur replied breathlessly. “I don’t whether to implode or explode…it is all so much. I’ve never loved you more, I’ve never loved **myself** more. I want to sing and cry both at the same time.”_

_They moved together, undulating faster as their feelings overwhelmed their hearts and bodies._

_“I’m-I’m getting so close,” Bofur panted._  
_“Don’! I mean…wait! What if…what if you come and the magic ends? Or we swap back? Oh, Bo! I have to feel this the other way around. I must.”_

_Despite the real threat of possibly vibrating out of his (Fili’s) skin, Bofur stopped, taking several shuddering breaths._

_“You’re right, of course. I would not want to deny either of us the reverse of this if one of us finishing is to be the end of it. One request, though?”_  
_Fili rested their foreheads together. “Yeah?”_  
_“If you come and we remain as we are, I would very much like to spend in myself as you.”_  
_“That is fully reasonable.”_

_Fili spread out on his back and directed Bofur to climb on top of him in a position that would put Bofur’s back to his chest if he chose to recline. After some adjustment, they settled on Both their legs spread, Fili’s a bit wider._

_“I extend this invitation with the utmost glee: Fuck yourself, Bo.”_  
_Bofur collapsed into a momentary fit of guffaws, twisting to glance back. “Look at your face--you’re so proud of yourself for thinking of it.”_  
_“Honestly, I’m just excited I got to say it. I thought sure you were going to think of it first.”_  
_“My Fee. Durin’s beard, how I do love you!”  
“I love you, too. Jests aside, I can’t wait for you to feel this. You’re going to adore it.”_

_Fili held his cock still so Bofur could mount it. Delightfully, Fili discovered that—even though his legs were spread--he had a powerful and quicker thrust if he put his feet flat on the bed. Groaning in rapture, Bofur pushed himself up with one arm behind him, shifting for his feet to be flat on the bed, too. He bounced like that as Fili continued thrusting into him for as long as he could, until his thighs burned and he had to drop backwards again._

_Knowing how thrilling it would be, Fili pinched his pierced nipples while they fucked; Bofur whined, awash in pleasure._

_Bofur stroked himself a bit, slowing when he grew too close. He eventually stopped tugging altogether in favor of simply letting his own monster split himself. He felt Fili’s hands holding him by the shoulders, using him for leverage to add power to his stroke. Fili fucked him harder (and harder still) while sucking another mark in his flesh, ending it with a bite. Bofur marveled at how good rough play felt in Fili’s body._

_Fili tugged him back, rolling them over and slipping out in the process. He pinned Bofur to the cushion, his thighs straddling him, and pushed back in. He used his weight to grind mercilessly into him using deep, circular motions alternating with more traditional rolls of his hips. He stayed mostly buried, though, and thrilled to the shouts of what he knew to be pure pleasure escaping Bofur in Fili’s own voice._

_He growled into Bofur’s ear, “Now I’m actually going to properly have you.”_  
_“Fuck,” Bofur whimpered back._  
_“It is okay. I know that body can take it.”_

_Bofur whined again, followed by a hard grunt as Fili rocked back, setting his feet flat on the bed, yanking Bofur’s hips back so he was on all fours, and pressed inside him again. Gripping his hips so hard he knew they might bruise, Fili used combined strength of his arms and legs to yank Bofur towards him for each pounding thrust. Bofur whined, shouted, and screeched out vowels with no structure whatsoever. Fili kept at him as long as he could, eventually reaching his crisis._

_“Bo, I’m close.”_  
_Bofur managed to choke out, “C’mon Fee, I want to feel it.”_

_Bofur knew his, erm, **volume** was easily twice that of any he had ever seen or swallowed himself and he was desperately curious._

_Fili dropped from his feet to his knees, slowing only enough to properly enjoy it when the waves crashed over him._

_“Oh! Oh **gods** ,” moaned Bofur between Fili’s groans. “You really can feel it when I—oh!”_

_Fili slowed and the heavy, dull ache of being held on the verge of coming for too long throbbed in his abdomen and the head of his cock._

_Panting, Bofur said, “I did not know you were so cruel.”_  
_“In what way?”_  
_“You knew—you knew--just where to angle to vengefully punish my hole and only graze the sweet spot, just enough to make me wild for it but not enough to send me over.”_  
_“Did you like it?”_  
_“Get off me and I’ll show you how much. I’ve never wanted to come so badly in all my life and-- **oh fuck!** ”_  
_“What?” Fili asked, having pulled out and hoping he hadn’t miscalculated and hurt Bofur/himself._  
_“I felt you **flood** out of me just now. Durin’s beard, it felt obscene! **”**_

_Fili glanced down and, indeed, was treated to the sight of one of Bofur’s copious orgasms that had flowed from his loosened hole and down his leg. He knew the feeling well, but the **vision** of it had him halfway to hard again._

_Bofur rolled over, pulling Fili on top of him, reaching down to guide himself inside._

_“Now, fuck, **gods** ,” begged Bofur. “I need it.”_

_Fili didn’t argue, instead bracing himself on Bofur’s chest and riding his own cock again._

_Bofur licked his lips. “You were enjoying it, weren’t you? Watching your own hole flutter with my come spilling out?”_  
_“I was.”_  
_Eyes rolling back into his head, Bofur said, “Cor! This is the height of all perversion, this is. I’ve just been pounded into oblivion by my own cock and now I’m gagging to come inside myself. That’s it, ride me. Suck it out of me with my own tight arse, Fee.”_

_Bouncing faster, Fili was aided by Bofur pushing and pulling his body just the way he wanted it, his hard-again cock slapping against his chest with every upswing._

_“You feel fantastic!” Bofur whined, his tone of voice shading ever higher with his urgency. “ **I** feel fantastic! I’m going to—to-“_  
_Fili leaned in, whispering dangerously. “I want to know what it feels like. Fill me with my own.”_

_That was all the rest of what it took for Bofur. With a sharp cry, he peaked, whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” in time with the remaining pulses. After a few more small convulsions, he exhaled a long breath, allowing his formerly tensed muscles to relax against the cushion. He sensed movement when Fili climbed off him and settled next to him, though it was several more moments before his eyes fluttered open and he glanced at Fili. He wet his lips._

_“You’re still me.”_  
_“-And you’re still me, and we are still here somehow.”_  
_“Did Kee say how long the dream lasted?”_  
_“No, he didn’t.” Fili’s eyes flicked downward. “You’re, well **I’m** still hard.”_  
_“So is mine, yours, whatever.”_  
_“Not still, rather, but again, so I don’t think it is supposed to be like the wine.”_  
_Bofur shook his head, “No, it isn’t the same sort of frenetic urgency. I can definitely tell I’ve finished, but I’m feeling a renewed tug of desire again.”_

_Fili rolled over, admiring how beautifully disheveled his own body looked through Bofur’s eyes after a particularly boisterous round of sex. Inside that body, Bofur used one of his hands to caress from his neck down to his chest while the other lazily stroked his cock._

_“You seem to be getting that wish of self-exploration granted,” Fili said, noting how husky his borrowed voice had grown._  
_“Aye, and I’m enjoying it. Wait--it is okay with you, isn’t it?”_  
_“Of course. Would you mind if I followed your lead?”_  
_“I suppose it would be too hokey to say ‘my pleasure,’ wouldn’t it?”_  
_Fili grinned. “And yet I would have been so disappointed had you not thought of it.”_

_Fili trailed his hands up and down Bofur’s torso, searching for hidden erogenous zones and generally enjoying the sensations. He peeked next to him frequently, disappointed he did not have a good view flat on his back. Shifting, he scooted the distance to the arm of the huge chair, sitting on his calves and leaning against the support behind him._

_“Ah, much better.”_  
_Bofur stirred from his fascination, looking over his own form appreciatively. “Mmm?”_  
_“I couldn’t see you and I wanted to.”_  
_“Just when I think we’ve pushed this as far as it can go, now we’re wanking to the vision of ourselves wanking.”_  
_“We?”_  
_“Well, now that you’re where I can see you, bloody right I’m going to watch!”_

_Bofur resumed touching Fili everywhere he could reach, even lifting his legs so he could explore down to his feet. He had learned so much this night! Movement caught his eye and his pulse quickened._

_“Where, ah, where is that other hand?” Bofur asked, knowing full well._  
_“Two digits deep in your arse,” panted Fili. “And not to tell you your own business, but I’m pretty sure with the way my cock is leaking over there, my body wouldn’t mind a little of the same.”_  
_Bofur moaned, “My filthy golden god!”_

_He rolled on his side, facing his lover, and discovered Fili was not wrong. Using both hands to stroke himself front and back this way was more difficult, though, so he sat himself up as to mirror Fili’s position._

_Fili wet his lips as he increased his speed. “I’m not going to last much longer—and I don’t think I want to, anyhow.”_

_Bofur licked his palm, then spat in it, kneeing his way over to be chest-to-chest with Fili. He gripped their cocks together, both thrusting and pumping. He held up the other hand._

_“We need it wetter.”_

_Fili complied, crying out when two split-slippery hands stroked them together. He spilled first, making the strokes far slicker for Bofur to follow right behind. They each rested their heads on the other’s shoulders as they gasped through the final throes. Bofur’s hands came up around Fili to hold him close, neither of them bothering much about the obscene mess they had just made in them. Fili hugged him back, tightly, eyes closed in utter adoring bliss._

_Though Fili could not see it, Bofur’s face wore an identical expression._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone! Love you!


	46. So Now What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Bofur have reached the milestone the four of them agreed upon, leaving Bilbo and Kili to anxiously wonder what the newlyweds will decide about their future.

Fili rolled over, unused to the light that streamed into the master bedroom in the mornings. Bofur was already awake and looking at him.

“Hello, beautiful,” drawled Bofur.  
“Hello, husband.”  
“’Husband.’ Hearing that made my heart beat a little faster, just so you know.”  
“Saying it made mine speed up, too.”

Bofur leaned in for a kiss, pausing in the middle of it when Fili made a sound of discomfort. Fili nuzzled his cheek. 

“My prick aches,” Fili lamented.  
“Mine too—discovered that shortly after you called me ‘husband.’ Food instead?”  
“Starving!” replied Fili, getting out of bed. "Oh!” 

He stopped short. 

“Damn, my arse aches five times as bad as my prick. You really rooted me out something fierce last night, you know.”  
Raising an eyebrow, Bofur said, “Ahem, I believe you not only begged for said rooting, but also gave a fair good one yourself. I don’t reckon my toots will make a sound for about three days.”  
”Nor mine.” Fili winced again. “Joking aside, I expected to be sore in the usual places, but my muscles are aching, too, and I’m feeling a bit of the day afters to boot.”  
“I’m feeling it, too. Why don’t you brew up some of that tea while I dig around the pantry for some food. We’ll meet in the dining room. How does that sound?”  
“Add in another nap afterwards and it is a deal.”

*****

Bofur and Fili eased some of their discomfort with the tea and ate to soothe a little more.

“When do you suppose the lads will be back?” Bofur asked.  
“Hard telling. It is possible they are giving us a good opportunity for a lie-in, knowing the secrets of the wine as they do. On the other hand, it is possible they are having a bit of a lie-in themselves, or perhaps are loath to get back out in the cold just yet to make the trek home.”  
“I hadn’t thought of that. The chill is still sharp in the air today. I wouldn’t blame them for waiting until the day had warmed up as much as possible with the sun still nice and high for their walk back.”  
“I imagine we’ll probably have them home by dinner at the latest.”  
Bofur grunted. “Dinner. That sounds like more effort than I have any desire to expend at the moment.”  
“Agreed,” said Fili, yawning.  
“Perhaps we’ll feel more spry after that nap I promised you.” 

*****

Wrapped in dressing gowns for extra warmth, Fili and Bofur climbed into their own bed for a nice, cozy nap. In the comfortable dim of their windowless room, they spoke about the night before.

Bofur said, “We’ve joked about the aches and medicated the discomfort, but we’ve not shared much about their source. I’ll confess I’ve been eager to compare memories, pain in my prick be damned.”  
“I’ve been thinking about it since we got up. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop thinking about it, if you want to know the truth.”  
“I do not think I will, either.”  
Cuddling in closer to Bofur, Fili said, “You mentioned comparing memories. What do you recall?”  
“Nearly all of it, I think. I am a little fuzzier around your suggestion for us to go at it harder, but then it gets a lot clearer when I think about how wildly we claimed each other after that.”  
“What about,” Fili lowered his voice in reverence. “the dream?”  
Bofur made a noise of amazement. “Every last moment, Fee.”  
“Me too. I remember it as vividly as anything that happened yesterday in the flesh. I feel like whole parts of last night—dream or otherwise—were engraved on my soul as they happened.”  
“I keep marveling how right Kee was when he said it was ‘life-changing.’ As a matter of fact, ‘life-changing’ might have been an understatement.”  
Fili hummed in agreement. “Somehow, I’m more content than I’ve ever been. I’ve always had a little knot of fear when it comes to my emotions. Even though I loved you more than I wanted that fear to rule me, it didn’t mean the fear was gone…nor did it mean I could always control the way being afraid made me act.”  
“I know, Fee,” Bofur said softly, kissing Fili’s temple.  
“Well, today it is. Gone, I mean. I feel like I gave all last night—well past what I thought was my capacity to do—and I felt you give yourself in return…and that dream! That dream took every insecurity I ever had and disintegrated them, one by one. I thought we were happy before, but it is like I’m floating on this beautiful pocket of contentment and comfort. I’ve never trusted or loved you more in this moment. The clarity…I just didn’t believe them when they said, you know?”  
“Aye, I do know. All of yesterday was joyful and reassuring from my blood to my bones, to be certain, but I admit the dream was the most powerful medicine of all, curing deep ails I did not think could ever be healed. I feel silly now for ever doubting, now that I’ve loved myself through your eyes.”

They kissed and fell to sleep soon after, warm and happy in each other’s arms. 

*****

Bilbo and Kili came home, half expecting Bofur and Fili to still be sound asleep in the master bedroom. Instead, Bilbo found Bofur and Fili sleeping in their own bed. Bofur stirred when Bilbo opened the door.

“Shhh, don’t wake Fee,” Bilbo whispered. “Go back to sleep. I daresay you need it.”

Bilbo closed the door and crept back to his own bedroom to let Kili know the couple was still sleeping. 

Kili swept him in his arms almost immediately, kissing him.

“What’s that all about?” Bilbo asked.  
“Inhale.”  
Bilbo did as he was told, exhaling with a restrained moan. “Sex.”

It was true; the air was thick still with the smell of sex from the night before. Bilbo glanced around. The bed was spotless and the cover he had provided them for soiling was not even in the room. Everything looked as though the room hadn’t been attended since Kili and Bilbo last used it but— _oh_ —the scent told obscene tales of the filth that must have occurred there hours before.

“I can’t believe it still hangs in the air!” Bilbo noted. 

Kili fell to his knees, unlacing Bilbo’s trousers. 

“Think about how it must have been if we can still smell it even now! It made me instantly hard.” Kili wrapped a hand around Bilbo’s erection. “Seems it did the same for you.”

Kili gave Bilbo a teasing lick the length of his shaft and groaned loudly in anticipation. Gently, Bilbo shushed him.

“We’ll have to be quiet. They’re sleeping it off in their room.”  
Smirking up at Bilbo, Kili said, “Well, good luck with that.”

He engulfed Bilbo’s cock in one wet, practiced motion. 

*****

Yawning and stretching, the smell of Bilbo’s and Kili’s cooking drew Fili and Bofur from their late afternoon cocoon.

“Ah, they live!” Kili pronounced merrily. 

Fili’s response to Kili’s teasing was a powerful hug for his brother, then one for Bilbo, with Bofur following him right behind.

“We cannot thank you enough,” said Fili, voice thick with emotion.  
Bofur agreed. “Not in a hundred generations. The wine was a far greater gift than I had ever imagined…and you know me! My imaginings were pretty involved.”  
Bilbo reached out to squeeze Fili and Bofur on the shoulder with each of his hands. “We wanted you to have it. We are thrilled it was as special for you as it was for us.”

Fili reached up to pat Bilbo’s hand and Kili noticed him wince. 

Knowingly, Kili asked, “Are you both sore?”  
“As though we were made of joints that have rusted, head to toe!” Bofur laughed.  
“I feel a little bad for teasing you both about the day after your wedding, now,” added Fili.  
“Your turn to be sickening, this time,” Bilbo teased. “A little early dinner will do the both of you some good. Just so happens, it is about finished. Why don’t the two of you grab what you want to sip with your food and Kili and I will serve out the table.”  
Fili dropped a chaste kiss to the top of Bilbo’s head. “You’re too good to us, Bee.”  
“Well, you’re newlyweds, after all. That’s worth a little special treatment,” Bilbo said.  
Following Fili, Bofur ruffled Bilbo’s hair affectionately. “Thanks, Bee.”

Kili watched silently out of the corner of his eye, smiling good-naturedly when he received his own claps on the arm and back as Fili and Bofur passed him on their way to find something to quench their thirst. His smile faded to bemusement when they walked out of sight.

*****

In the parlor after dinner, Fili and Bofur snuggled together in the settee. Kili stoked the fire and Bilbo sat in his favorite armchair, discreetly observing the newlyweds.

Since they had woken, Bilbo had noticed that Fili and especially Bofur had a different air about them, a sort of unprecedented comfort in their skin. Any trace of tension was gone and they radiated love for each other. He wondered if he and Kili had seemed that way to others after their own wedding night?

Sooner than later, Bofur stood, stretching with a grimace. 

“I’m still weary and aching. I think I might head off to bed a little early.”  
Fili stood. “I’m feeling it, too. I'll join you...if Bee and Kee don’t think it is rude to run off so soon, that is. After all, the two of you have certainly spoiled us tonight taking care of both dinner as well as the washing up.”  
“No, no,” Bilbo said, waving as though to shoo away the notion. “If anyone understands the stiffness in your muscles and the likely soreness in your bum, it is the two of us.”

Bofur laughed, tugging Bilbo in for a hug and a quick peck on the lips. He hugged and chastely kissed Kili, too, before releasing him to his brother. 

Tenderly, Fili smoothed a hand along Kili’s jaw and into his hair. He murmured, “Thank you, Kee, truly, for everything.”

Kili closed his eyes, anticipating a lingering kiss. He received it--on his forehead. He stood there, blinking in confusion, as Fili moved on to Bilbo to offer the same words and gesture of gratitude to him, too. 

Bofur and Fili disappeared down the hall. 

*****

Kili readied for bed, going through the motions out of sheer habit as his troubled mind dwelt on hugs and kisses more wholesome as any they had gotten in days.

“Did that seem…odd to you? Fee and Bo today? Tonight?” Kili asked.  
Replied Bilbo, “I wasn’t going to say anything since I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but a bit, yeah. They seemed, I don’t know, sort of…I don't want to say distant. What’s the word I’m seeking? Casual, I suppose?”  
“Not that I expected to be snogged rotten, but I don’t know how Fee went from nearly weeping and pleading ‘please don’t go’ on his own wedding night to patting me on the shoulder and kissing my forehead goodnight.”  
“Or how Bofur went from kissing the breath out of me to ruffling my hair.”  
“Right. You don’t suppose they really did…that they-“ 

Kili couldn’t find the right words, or perhaps he couldn’t bring himself to utter them. 

“-Made the decision we were trying to give them room to make, as opposed to making the decision we thought they’d make?” Bilbo finished.  
Deflating, Kili said, “Yes. That.”  
“The thought had occurred. We knew it could shake out that way. I think it is too early to fret overmuch, though. If you consider it objectively--which is difficult, I know--you and I only figured ourselves out fast out of necessity. Thorin was going to leave and sorting Thorin meant sorting Bofur, too. For their parts, Thorin was grieving and Bo was hurt and confused. It all happened quickly after our vows because it had to. If I hadn’t been causing them pain with a delay, perhaps we would have taken longer to reach our conclusions. By contrast, we’ve had this arrangement with Fee and Bo for a little while, now. They are likely not feeling that same urgency we did.”  
“I know, but I’ve…I’ve been patient, Bee. I’ve been so patient that I have even been the voice of reason once or twice…then yesterday happened and all these _feelings_ poured out from wherever I had locked them and those kisses were so…and I just—I didn’t know I had been _waiting_ for, for, for whatever I was waiting for until-“

Bilbo pressed his forehead to Kili’s to calm him, as the dwarf had grown increasingly more upset as he spoke. 

“-Shhh, dear heart. Let me help you sort those thoughts. You’re trying to say you’ve been good this whole time and realized yesterday how very much you had been looking forward to the four of us being able to just be _us_ again, yeah?”  
“You know me well.”  
Bilbo smiled wistfully, closing his eyes. “I know myself.”

He held Kili close, peppering his hair with soft kisses. 

“I feel the uncertainty, but I also know how much we mean to them, what being in our bed has meant to them. They might want some time to enjoy each other alone, but I cannot honestly see them deciding what we’ve had was not for them after all.”  
“They are just so unusually confident. It is disconcerting.” 

Bilbo tittered and Kili glared at him.

Kili clarified, “Look, I do not begrudge Fee or Bo either one of comfort in their skin—perhaps confident was not the right term, but-“  
“-I’m not laughing at you or the use of the word. I’m laughing because I understand it, and also a little bit because as much as I’m confounded by how unusual it is to see them thus, I’m also happy for them. There has always been the tiniest undercurrent of uncertainty there with both of them, in spite of the mountain of love, and I know my name has been on it at least once or twice. It appears gone now and as good as it is for them, there _is_ a palpable shift that might take us a day or two to get used to.”  
“How do you know how to describe my thoughts so well when I can barely order them into a single sentence?”  
“Because we’ve already had our reckoning that has done all this for us, synced us up, set us on the same page, if you will. Besides, it has been merely a day—just one day! You’re getting yourself worked up and it might be over nothing.” 

*****

Kili and Fili were on a patch of land a short ways from Bag End, shuffling around in the remnants of the snow that had been slowly melting for the past three afternoons, taking part in a little sparring practice.

Kili had initiated today’s session and Fili accepted quickly, grinning, anticipating his wedding night would be a key subject for this go. Truth be told, sparring had led to some of their best talks, second only to late nights sharing a room, and he thought Kili showed exceptional restraint in waiting this long to open an opportunity to share dirty details only those whom had had the wine would know. Fili had nearly pulled Kili aside for it himself two days prior, but until today it had been quite windy and Kili had been keeping pretty close to Bilbo, besides.

The first couple rounds of swordplay were the usual light banter and taunting. Fili called for a break, leaning against a tree. He waited for Kili to ease into conversation (or possibly blurt out the opening volley bluntly), but it didn’t happen. Odd.

“You’re doing remarkably well holding your curiosity about the wedding night,” Fili noted.  
Kili shrugged. “You told us you loved it and didn’t elaborate much further. I figured that was enough.”  
“Oh you did, did you? Funny, considering that you’ve been in my bed business every step of the way, to say nothing of how willing you always are to spill yours!”  
“After you needle and pry it out of me!” defended Kili.  
“Like you aren’t always dying to tell me anyway.”

Kili pouted a little and Fili knew it was because Fili’s statement was as true for Kili as it was for him. They both always wanted to tell each other everything, though sometimes the intensely private things needed one of them to be the braver one first. He waited, but Kili did not start in as he had expected. 

“So,” Fili finally said. “Now that I’ve had one of my own, I’m curious what your wine-dream was. You said you had two, neither alike.”  
“We did."  
"And...?" Fili asked, leading. "What was yours?”  
"What was yours?"  
“Oh no you don’t. You first.”  
“We, um, well...the first time we were in a grotto behind that one waterfall in Rivendell, the one with the pool we swam in? Everywhere we touched each other, we left streaks of moonlight. By the end, there was hardly any flesh left that wasn’t glowing. When it was over, though, that was my favorite part.”  
“Tell!”  
Getting lost in his memory, Kili closed his eyes and recounted, “Bilbo had a dream, back when we were fighting at Beorn’s…that big fight about Thorin’s leaving. The dream he had helped us make up and move forward. We, um, marked each other for the first time that night.”  
“Go on.”  
“He dreamed that I melted into him at the end of our lovemaking, that we were one single being. I loved the idea of it so much that I think I influenced whatever magic was in the wine even all those weeks later.”  
“You mean…?”  
“Mmhmm. We melted into one another, finishing in one body.”  
“I wonder what that would be like?” Fili said. 

With tightening trousers, Kili realized he had already gone too far and gotten much more into it than he had intended. He abruptly changed course.

“So, there. I told you mine. It is your turn.”  
Fixing him with an odd look, Fili said, “I don't know if that is fair, given that you have one more bottle to tell me about, but I’ll still go next. We switched bodies in our dream. My--um, I guess you could say it was my mind—was in Bo’s body, but when I looked at myself, it was as though I was seeing myself with his eyes. When he touched me, the sensations in my body were like I was Bo. It was the same for him, too. It was quite an experience.”  
“I can only imagine. Perhaps I’ll save that one up and try to influence our next bottle.” Kili moved to get up. “Welp, that’s enough rest.” 

Fili stayed him.

“Wait, that’s it?” he asked, incredulous.  
“What’s it?”  
“You share an achingly erotic scene with me, I give you the premise of mine, and suddenly you’re ready to get up with scarcely a question, never mind us getting down to the really filthy bits you normally love?” 

Kili bit his lip. 

“I know you as well as I know myself,” Fili continued. “When you suggested we work on a little combat, I thought sure you were bringing me out here to ask about the wedding night. I’ve got to confess to being quite confused that you seem to be avoiding it.”  
“Fee, I…well, I didn’t ask you about it because I didn’t want to be the one who started us talking about sex because then I would get stirred up, and maybe you would get stirred up…or maybe you wouldn’t, which would be worse.”  
“You think I wouldn’t? That I’m not hard, even now?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“Have you not been paying attention at all this autumn?”  
“I know, but you seem different since your wedding night. I don’t know how fun it would be to dig for details and share obscene whispers back and forth if you’re…never mind. Forget I said anything. Bee told me not to push and we both agreed we wouldn’t. I didn’t mean for the conversation to go this far into it and, well, you started it, anyway!”  
“Kee, Kee, it is okay. I’ve honestly been dying to tell you about the wine and have wanted to hear more about your experiences with it now that I can understand better what you’re talking about. I didn’t know you were avoiding it.” Fili noted Kili’s expression, halfway to distraught with a touch of agitation. “Perhaps, though…perhaps now is not the best time?”  
“Perhaps it isn’t.” Kili sighed heavily. 

Fili nodded, hoping to hide his own ripple of disappointment that his expectation of a flirtatious and bawdy discourse had gone so pear-shaped. Kili must have actually wanted to spar away his excess energy after all.

_”Or frustration,”_ Fili thought.

“Back to practice?” he said aloud.

Kili considered saying he didn’t feel like it anymore, but he knew it would be good for them both to continue. He stretched his back and spun his sword to signal he was ready. 

“Just…don’t tell Bee I pressured you, okay? I didn’t mean to.”  
“I have nothing to tell, because there was no pressure,” reassured Fili. “Just a little misunderstanding that will be kept between us.” 

Kili grinned his famous grin, the winter sun shining off his hair, and Fili _ached_. With a deep breath, Fili took his stance and brandished his weapon.

Cocking an eyebrow, he said, “Your move, hot shot.” 

*****

Later that night, Fili broached the subject with Bofur in bed.

“I think maybe it is time to talk about Bee and Kee…and us,” he said.  
Bofur smiled. “I have been wondering when we would get around to it. I’ve been interested in talking about moving forward but I’ve also been very happy with this, too.”  
“I’ve been afraid to rush things so as not to offend you, but Kee—bless him—I think his heroic patience is finally running out. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by taking too long.”  
“Though Bee is hiding his anxiousness well, I think perhaps he is also curious for our answer.” 

Bofur cradled Fili’s face with one hand and stroked his hair with the other. 

He said, “So, my golden one, now that we’ve exchanged vows, had our wedding night, drank our wine, and recovered—all as the lads insisted we do before we make any decisions about our future--tell me, how you are feeling? Hmm?”  
With watery, adoring eyes, Fili whispered, “Bo, you are everything I’ve ever wanted.” 

Bofur kissed him tenderly, running the tip of his tongue across the seam of Fili’s lips in promise. He gazed soulfully into Fili’s eyes. 

“And what about what we do with Kili and Bilbo?” he murmured.

A tear rolled down Fili’s face. 

“That is everything I never knew I wanted.” 

Still cradling Fili’s head, Bofur rubbed their noses together.

“Then let us discuss our terms.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!


	47. T-dog Tales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few peeks in on how the winter is progressing in Erebor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title and the Thorin self-smut section in the middle of this chapter are dedicated to ManhattanMom for her birthday <3 If you are a regular comment reader, you'll know T-dog is the affectionate nickname she has coined for our hot dwarf king.
> 
> PS here is a 100% NSFW visual aid for the above mentioned smut:
> 
> https://justanothertart.tumblr.com/post/158528102341/justanothertart-still-working-out-the

Beorn had been willing to help and was particularly touched by the special apartment Thorin had created specifically to accommodate his size while he was in the mountain. However--even with a small team of dwarves whose specialty was the engineering of infrastructure--Thorin's vision and the problems they encountered to realize it required more time than he had planned to be away. It was winter and those he safeguarded (beast and man alike) would suffer if he were to be gone as long as he had been in the abundance of a late summer. 

With a promise to Thorin to return for the wedding and finish what they had started, Beorn set off for home. 

*****

Though it came almost as naturally as breathing, Thorin tried to control his pining. He did his best job building a new life for his people, spent time with his loved ones already in Erebor, and worked on his pet projects with the time left over. Bilbo, Kili, and Fili were never far from his thoughts, though Thorin valiantly did his best not to dwell—at least, not by daylight.

Alone in the dim, flickering firelight of his chambers at night, Thorin allowed his thoughts, feelings, and worries regarding Bilbo to roam free. Some nights were peaceful; Thorin would miss him, but he would hold to his hope. Other nights were fretful and sad, the distance and the time giving Thorin doubts. The best nights, though…the best nights were when the dark fears gave way to the memories of Bilbo’s sweet whispers of love, the soft curve of his arse, and the bond when it freshly thrummed in his veins. 

He would admit to regularly pleasing himself on all three types of occasions but it was never more fulfilling than the latter. 

On those very special nights, his hand was not enough. Sometimes he wanted to move, to thrust, to imagine his lover beneath him. That very morning, he had acquired a square of soft scrap fur from Mignus. It was too small for a garment but just the right size top-to-bottom and side-to-side for Thorin’s purposes. He stashed it away with Bilbo’s blanket, waiting. 

*****

Thorin enjoyed a drink with Balin after a particularly satisfying dinner for a mid-winter night, having just received a shipment from Beorn’s contacts up further North.

“Thorin, now that the mountain is won, have you considered finally growing out your beard?”

Swirling his drink around in his cup, Thorin measured his answer. It was common knowledge among his closest friends and family that he had been keeping it shorter in memory of those lost back when Erebor first fell to Smaug, as well as those who did not live to see it restored. It made sense to him--particularly looking at it with Balin’s eyes—that he would be expected to grow into a new beard as the new kingdom grew. He rather liked the poetic thought of it himself, but he wanted to still look like Bilbo’s loved and remembered Thorin when he arrived that Spring. Though he had already made his decision to wait a little longer, he could not very well tell Balin the reasoning behind it. 

“I think perhaps after the wedding,” Thorin said finally. 

Balin grinned, taking the idea and running with it as Thorin hoped he might. 

“Yes, yes, yes, then a new chapter for not only Erebor but our family will begin. Very good indeed.”

Thorin sighed, only partly in relief. He hated having to weave these creative truths when he wanted nothing more than to shout the reality from the Grand Overlook itself. 

*****

Thorin took the fur from its hiding place, trying his best to chase away the latest doubt so he could let himself get lost in his pleasure unfettered by his anxiety. He had left Balin feeling good about Bilbo’s arrival--imagining Bilbo’s happy reaction to seeing Thorin as he remembered him-- but on his way back to the room, he faltered and circled back around to his most frequent insecurity:

What if Bilbo had changed his mind about wanting to be with him? After all, he had once left Thorin for Kili. What if something had happened in these weeks of separation that made Bilbo reconsider their arrangement?

Thorin shook his head, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes as though he could push the fear away. He reached back into his private storage and pulled out Bilbo’s blanket, which still retained a bit of smell. He held it to his face, deeply breathing Bilbo in and out several times. 

_No,_ he told himself firmly. _No matter the past, this time we are truly wed._

Thorin set aside both blanket and fur, taking his candle to the compact writing desk he had built and brought to his room. He liked having the privacy to write Bilbo whenever the loneliness got to him. Because it was always worse at night, it had only made sense to have a place to write in his chambers. As the weeks passed, it happened often enough that his new letter to Bilbo was more like a diary. 

He wrote to Bilbo of his day, of his talk with Balin, and of his worry. He felt as though he had written variations of these words many times already, supposing not all these pages would need to make the final draft. Getting the maudlin thoughts out of his head helped, though, and reading back over his earlier pages helped even more. He had been much more hopeful when he had shipped off the first letter and began this one. His cock twitched as he re-read several passages he had written about his more carnal plans for his husband upon his arrival. He exhaled another deep breath. Yes, he was feeling much better. 

Shedding his clothes, he wrapped his pillow with Bilbo’s blanket. Next, he placed his fur scrap on the bed and hovered over it, assessing location. He pulled the pillow in front of him so he could bury his face in it or hold with it his arms if he chose. For now, his forearms were underneath it, hands hooked up over the top edge. He lowered himself over the fur, experimentally sliding himself across the soft fibers. Shivering, he wet his lips and tried it again. Oh, it was _lovely_. 

Taking another deep breath through his nose, he savored the faint trace of his hobbit and recalled his own wedding day. Ignoring the initial shock of finding Bilbo in bed with Fili, the day they privately wed was one of the memories Thorin found most comforting whenever he felt fretful about the future. Rolling his hips in a steady rhythm across the tantalizing fibers, he recalled the proposal itself twice before moving onto the glorious vows. 

Eyes closed, he clutched the pillow as he moved, imaging it was Bilbo underneath him. He remembered how he pledged himself, how he spilled himself inside Bilbo’s very body, mingling them at last in both deed and word. The fur, bed, and pillow were a far cry from his husband, but in the moment, caught up in his memories, they were entrancing. Moving-- _fucking_ \--allowed his fantasy to further soar. 

As his pleasure built, he replayed the moments leading up to their near-simultaneous rapture again and again. He saw himself licking into Bilbo's mouth while he thrust into Bilbo's body faster and faster. The rise and fall of his hips against the bed had grown frantic, the friction just this side of lacking to get him where he needed to go. He spat twice in his hand, reaching underneath to grasp his cock, still rolling his hips at a feverish pace, but now—yes!—he drew closer to blessed relief. Muffling his moans into the pillow, he came when the Bilbo and Thorin in his mind did. 

Thorin gasped to catch his breath as he the rush abated. His gasps gave way to giggles as the euphoria from the best orgasm he had had in days spread through him. He had _needed_ that, heart to bones (and a few choice organs in between). The silly thought sent a fresh peal of giggles through him and by the time he rolled over to clean up, he felt happy and relaxed. 

Stashing the scrap of fur under his bed until he could clean it properly, Thorin carefully folded and stored Bilbo’s blanket before he went back to bed. His limbs felt blissfully heavy and he imagined sleep would come sooner than later.

He slept better than night than he had in a while. 

*****

The following evening Thorin took dinner with his Elvish artisans to thank them for their work. They assured him the pleasure was theirs. Apparently, the endorsement of the king had earned them enough commissions to remain pleasingly busy until April or thereabouts.

“Oh good,” Thorin said. “I’m glad your talents are being respected and well-received.”

Though it lasted less than a second, Thorin did not miss the look that flashed between them. 

“You _are_ being treated well, are you not?” he asked.

There it was again! Another look. 

The head craftsperson, Iylthame spoke. “If you please, Your Highness, your accommodation has been splendid and we have been afforded courtesy from you like none we ever expected we would receive from a king of dwarves.”

Thorin quirked a small smile, though remained mostly solemn. “That answer sounds admirably diplomatic. A little too diplomatic, I believe.”

She smiled sheepishly, glancing down. 

“Please. You are living here now and I promised your comfort to Lord Elrond. Have you been treated poorly by my citizens?” Thorin asked. 

Iylthame thought for a long moment, trading glances with her fellow elves that seemed to carry a whole wordless conversation. Finally, she replied. 

“We have not been threatened, nor have we been called names we have heard, but there are occasional looks of disgust that we can tell we were meant to see, and we hear rumors our presence here has been less than welcome by a few. It has stolen some of the joy we have felt being in Erebor.”  
“Indeed, as it would. I’m sorry for anyone who would relish bringing you bad news of that sort, and sorrier still to hear you are feeling some discomfort. Do you feel unsafe? Do you wish to depart? Your safety and sanity is more important than where dwarrows rest their heads. If you need to go, say the word. I will take care of handling the cancellation of your outstanding orders and I’ll pay for your safe passage back to Rivendell.”

The elves blinked at each other in pure surprise. They had not expected a dwarf to put their feelings before his needs—particularly against an agreement struck in good faith--and certainly did not look to such a thing to come from Thorin. Despite his amends made during his last visit, he did not have the most selfless reputation in Imladris and that was a fact. 

“No, Your Highness,” Iylthame assured him. “It has not grown into a threat and while we feel it is wise to be wary, we do not feel unsafe. We are happy to stay. Indeed, we are greatly looking forward to the Princess’s wedding.”  
Thorin relaxed somewhat. “If it persists or escalates—especially if it escalates—I am to be notified at once. I do not care if it is my own councilfolk or even my own kin. Will you agree to that?”  
“Yes, thank you.”

The conversation turned to more pleasant things. 

*****

At dinner, Thorin had learned the elvish mattresses for the princes were close to finished, though Thorin’s (due to its special size) would take longer. He hadn't minded the news, especially because he had requested Dís's order fulfilled first and hers was now ready. The bedframes for Thorin, Fili, and Kili were yet in the process of being made, anyhow, which Thorin also did not mind because the remodeling of the rooms was still in progress, too. Thorin had opted to outsource the construction of his own bedframe, preferring outsider gossip (if anything should strike the craftspeople as unusual) over gossip among his own. He at least had a larger chance of no gossip with Men, as they were not as familiar with dwarven ways—not to mention he had learned Men certainly had a different attitude about sex than his fellow dwarrows. Unfortunately, even with a priority (one he had not asked for) being made for his frame order, it would not be ready for a few weeks yet. Thorin didn’t mind overmuch—he would be content with his current mattress and bed until his beloved arrived, and the order would still beat that date by weeks.

Thorin ticked through his list, quite pleased with the progress. The things that were not yet done were on schedule, others were completed and ready to go, and the only particularly sticky issue so far had been the bath. He had a small number of things on his list that he had not yet started, so it was there he planned to turn his energy next. 

He wondered if New Dale had a horticulturist who might not mind a collaboration with Erebor’s finest. He made a mental note to check in with Óin. 

*****

One miserably cold afternoon, Thorin made a courtesy appearance at a rather dry council meeting. It wasn’t one where he was expected to speak, but Balin had suggested Thorin sit in as an incentive for committee members to participate more. Regnad was there, too, though he didn’t sit this particular committee. Thorin figured Balin asked him for much the same reason as he had asked Thorin. Balin and Dain were both quite proud of Regnad’s growing popularity and Balin—astute as he was—sought to utilize it as much as possible.

As the speaker droned on about integrity checks and hairline cracks in load-bearing structures for some new project or another, Thorin's mind wandered to Bilbo, the lads, and their Shire bedroom arrangements. 

For the thousandth time, he wondered how things had been going with Bilbo, Kili, Bofur, and Fili in his absence. Did they go to bed every night together? Was it only once in a while? Was Bofur already bonded to Bilbo? What was Fili's role to play between them? What would happen with the extended couple when Bilbo and Kili returned to Thorin's bed? Would he have to request Bilbo to take turns in each of their rooms? Durin’s beard--would Bofur want to _watch_ Thorin with Bilbo? Likewise, would Bofur or Bilbo expect Thorin to watch them together…or with Fili? Would Fili and Bilbo be like they were that day he caught Bilbo kissing him? Less involved? More involved? What if...what if it wasn't only Bilbo and Kili who wished to touch Thorin? 

Thorin mentally shook himself, forcing his thoughts back from the more paranoid and outrageous outskirts of his mind. Taking Kili as a lover had already been far beyond anything he had ever known to be decent and proper--he had only acquiesced after a load of guilt, soul-searching, and moral sacrifice. Though accept it he did (with an eager eye looking forward to Kili’s arrival in the Spring), he figured the additional bedmates would be best left to Bilbo and Kili to juggle. 

*****

That evening, well past common Ereborian bedtime to ensure privacy, Thorin luxuriated in the bathing pool after a full wash. He allowed himself to relax in the warm, soothing water while he pondered how wonderful it would be to have a bath in his quarters to share with Bilbo on days (like today) when the chill outside managed to seep through both mountain and bone. Leaving aside the realities of the matter currently vexing Beorn, Thorin let his thoughts drift salaciously. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, imagining that the hand he was smoothing up his thigh belonged to Bilbo. He wrapped his fingers around his developing erection and stroked himself lazily. As the pleasure grew, his pace followed in determination. Thorin's mouth dropped open as he panted.

"Isn't this a lovely surprise?" a voice said seductively.

Thorin's eyes flew open and he pulled his hand away from his cock as though it was suddenly made of fire. Regnad stood next to the bathing pool, nude and hard.

"What are you doing here?" Thorin demanded, covering his member as he rose from the water, attempting to scramble out with some dignity. "How dare you eavesdrop on my private moments?"  
"Oh, but Your Highness," Regnad said, eyes wide and voice suddenly contrite. "I-I thought, I thought...oh, this is too embarrassing."  
"What did you think? Speak!"  
"I thought _sure_ you heard me approach. I even called out--didn't you hear me?"

Thorin was positive no one had spoken. "I did not."

More confidently, Regnad said, "Oh, but I did! I called out and you didn't reply. Once I walked closer, I saw what you were doing. I thought you had heard me call out and had started doing it for me, seducing me, so I disrobed."  
"I was not seducing you! What in Mahal’s name made you think I was seducing you?"  
"You didn't tell me to go away. It seemed obvious you wished for me to catch you thus."

Thorin hadn't been that deep into his own mind that he couldn't hear the swishing of the water as he had stroked, nor that he could miss someone's approach...had he been? How could he doubt his own senses?

Thorin dried and wrapped up in his dressing gown as quickly as he could, grateful he bound his hair in a bun after washing. It obscured the wooden bead his wet hair might have otherwise revealed to his uninvited company. Though Regnad claimed to be embarrassed, Thorin couldn’t help but notice Regnad had neither bothered to cover himself nor gone flaccid. 

"That was not what happened," Thorin reiterated. "You were mistaken and I will be taking my leave now."

"Also!" Regnad called out, in a tone seemingly hopeful that the word itself would cease Thorin's retreat, "Also, I thought maybe, sometimes, those moments when you've caught my eye at council, like today...well, I thought you had been thinking the same thing I was when your gaze held a little long?"

Thorin could not deny noticing other dwarrows’ occasional glances of appreciation since his return. However, he had never imagined anyone would have had the audacity to extend an invitation (much less seduce him), as Thorin was widely assumed to be mourning the marriage of his Chosen to another. If ever he was to try again, propriety, tradition, and his title all dictated he was to be the one to make the overture. Aside from that, he himself went about his business feeling married, often forgetting the rest of Erebor (minus Balin and his occasional prodding) did not realize he was not seeking a mate. 

In his most desperate hours, Thorin sometimes wondered if the solace of another’s hand might make waiting easier, and in general he supposed Regnad was comely enough, but the real truth of the matter was inescapable: his vows were incredibly sacred to him and the fleeting pleasure of another’s touch wouldn’t help him, being neither what he honestly wanted or needed. Spring would renew Bilbo in his blood and Kili in his bed. That was twice as much as any dwarf in Erebor could ask for and infinitely more than Regnad-–beloved in council though he might be--could ever hope to offer.

Additionally, there was something off about this situation that would have robbed him of interest even if he had been game. Regnad’s tone of embarrassment had quickly given way to confidence and--just as quickly--back to a wide-eyed earnestness that did not seem to match the current hardness of Regnad's prick nor Regnad's shrewd personality any other time Thorin saw him. His intuition told him this conversation would be best ended as soon as possible.

Sternly, Thorin said, "Whatever you thought you perceived at council was business and business only, if it was anything at all. We will consider this breach of my privacy an unfortunate misunderstanding and move forward as though it had not happened. Good night."  
"Very well. Good night, _Your Highness_ ," Regnad said, trading his guileless demeanor in a flash for a tone a shade too flirtatious and deliberate for Thorin's comfort.

*****

Thorin was in a poor mood all the way to his room. He hated to admit it, but Dwalin seemed to have been right all along: Until he had his own bathing tub, Thorin had no business bathing alone without a guard. He still didn't understand how he could not have heard Regnad when he called. 

The premature end to his pleasure session had not improved his mood, either, and he was in no frame of mind to continue it now. His thoughts kept going back to Bilbo in Bag End with his attentive lovers while Thorin remained alone in his chambers. He did not regret aborting the potential offer from Regnad, but he still hated the pang of loneliness.

“If Bilbo were here…” Thorin lamented before catching himself.

If Bilbo were here what? He would have been with him? He could have prevented the situation? No, that was dangerous and poisonous thinking. He took several calming breaths. No, this was about Regnad and at best, a misunderstanding and poor timing. 

Though the incident at the baths was not at all Bilbo’s fault, Thorin found him missing and needing him even more desperately. He wanted Bilbo to hold him, to rock him and tell him things were as they should be. 

“ _Don’t be ashamed, Thorin. You did nothing wrong_ ,” Thorin imagined him saying. 

*****

The next day, nearly everyone who came in regular contact with Thorin noted the king's sour mood. Though he still held to his duties and worked on his projects, he kept to himself far more than usual--not that anyone minded, not with his short-tempered snapping.

Dain joined the after-dinner conversation of Balin and Dwalin, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Thorin was nowhere near to hear him.

“What’s the bite under Thorin’s skin today?” Dain asked.  
“Hmph,” grunted Dwalin. “Whatever it is, I’ve a mind to send him to Óin to get rid of it.”  
Pursing his lips thoughtfully, Balin said, “You of all people know he has always been prone to a mood from time to time.”  
“I think I preferred the unsettling cheerfulness to this by a long road,” Dain grumbled.

Balin frowned. He didn’t want a grumpy Thorin, either, but the wildly happy one filled Balin with its own trepidation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone!


	48. Provisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll check back with Thorin soon. The lads need their timeline to advance a bit for the two of them to be parallel for Thorin's next chapter.

Bofur and Fili bathed together the morning after the decision, figuring it might be a good idea to be clean before proposing something so filthy.

Fili washed Bofur’s back, musing, “I think if you told me five years ago that I’d be grooming my husband before he took his other lover to bed, I’d laugh in your face. In fact, if you told me my husband was taking Kee to bed, too, I might have punched it.”  
“I’ll go you one better. If you’d told me five years ago I’d even _have_ a husband, I would have been scoffing too loudly to hear the rest. I do see your point, though. We’re basically prettying each other up so we’ll look and taste nice for our dates. Not exactly an ancient and time-honored dwarven newlywed tradition, is it?”  
“No,” Fili replied, smiling.

Bofur didn’t ask Fili if he had any doubts. They had gone over that quite thoroughly the night before.

They left the tub and dried off, taking care to keep all but their courting braids loosed. They dressed in their more hobbitish clothes, figuring the gesture would please Bilbo.

“Bo, you look so handsome.”  
“As do you, my golden one.”  
“Well,” Fili quipped, “It isn’t every day one re-proposes a life of forbidden pleasure to his own brother as well as his husband’s beloved. One must look one’s best.”

Bofur smiled tenderly, knowing Fili’s humor was partly to mask his nerves.

“Are you ready to ask them?”  
Fili exhaled and nodded. “I am.”

*****

Bofur and Fili found a note on the dining table from Bilbo and Kili letting them know they were going to be gone for the day.

“They have got to be kidding me!” Fili huffed. “I swear, I think Kee did this on purpose.”  
“You know better.”  
Fili sighed heavily through his nose. “I know I do.”  
“Hey.” Bofur took Fili in his arms. “I’m disappointed, too—especially after all those messy and wet plans we made last night.”

Fili grinned. As either of them might have predicted, the discussion of terms had frequently devolved into the sort of filthy fantasies that eventually culminated in a sticky, sweating coupling, one made more fervent by the whispers of their favorite parts repeated as they went.

“You know, their note promised they’d be home for dinner,” Fili said.  
“You’ve read my mind.”

*****

Bilbo peered out the window of his cousin’s Adalgrim’s smial, watching Kili play Battle with the fauntlings. Due to the way he held his hands like claws and the comical snarl on his face, Bilbo figured Kili was supposed to be some manner of beast. The children shrieked, laughing and running as Kili stomped towards them--but he was always mysteriously too slow to catch them.

Lobelia—whom Bilbo quite did _not_ expect to be visiting, thank you very much--came to stand alongside him at the window and he did his best to hold in his exasperated sigh. After setting her straight about Bag End and giving her the necklace, she had vastly shifted her attitude towards him. He did not know if it had been the gift, the title he carried, or the company he now kept that might have been the reason, but her tone shifted more often towards the uncomfortably flattering these days (regarding both him and Kili) and he had easily found her in their path more since the wedding than he had in the four years that preceded it combined. He reminded himself that she had long been sheltered and this situation with dwarven royalty in the Shire was new to her, therefore he did his best to keep civil.

Outside, Kili The Beast had been taken down by the children, who were giggling like mad. Kili giggled right along with them and Bilbo’s heart ached with how much he loved him.

”Prince Kili is so _sweet_ ,” Lobelia cooed. “So wonderful with little ones!”

Bilbo’s hand clenched. If Lobelia made mention of what a shame it was Kili wouldn’t have any of his own, Bilbo was not sure he’d be able to contain his temper or his tongue.

Instead, she said, “With those big pretty eyes of his, he is almost like a puppy. I can’t imagine him _ever_ being a warrior! Can you picture such a puppy bounding off to battle? I’ll bet he cut a dashing figure in his armor, though.”

Bilbo supposed it was partly due to his existing irritation with her, but he positively bristled. He could not stand someone like Lobelia infantilizing his fierce and brave Kili.

 _She is just young and ignorant of the world, she is just young and ignorant of the world, she is just young and ignorant of the world,_ Bilbo chanted to himself in an attempt to cool his temper a bit before he spoke.

“Kili is sweet by nature, not one to abuse his title or misuse his fighting skills but make no mistake: Fili and Kili were both two of King Thorin’s best warriors. Expert trackers, too. They are enjoying a peaceful life in Hobbiton, but I’ve seen them fight and I’ve seen them kill. They have the ferocity of a warg when it is warranted.”  
“K-kill?” asked Lobelia, her former coy flush rapidly draining from her cheeks. “You’ve seen him _kill_?”  
“Child, we’ve been through war! Did you think all we did on the battlefield was drink tea? We’ve both killed, as these things go, though his greater skill means he has spilled more blood than myself. Still, we’ve saved each other’s neck a few times, and King Thorin’s neck, too.”  
“Oh! Oh my goodness! I’m…I think I might need a drink of water. If you’ll excuse me?”

Bilbo watched her flee the room. He knew it might have been a bit cruel to describe it as he did, but he still spoke truth. It might do Lobelia some good to know that war was not something to be romanticized or trivialized, but rather something brutal and ugly that no one should aspire to, dashing armor be damned.

 

 

*****

“We’re going to need to renew stores soon,” Bofur said from the doorway of the pantry.  
Fili glanced back over his shoulder. “I don’t remember the name anymore, but didn’t Bee say the farm he gets food stores in winter wasn’t too far off?”  
“Did he? I thought he said…well, no matter. Hobbits winter a bit different than we did in Ered Luin and I still haven’t got my mind wrapped around it.”  
“Do we not have what we need?”  
“Aye, we do, and not the very last of anything, as it happens. I was merely making note so time doesn’t get away from us during the worst of the cold.”

Fili finished the last punch-down of his dough and wiped his hands.

“Do you think they’ll understand about dinner?” he asked.  
“Bee will for sure, and likely Kee, too.”

 

 

*****

“Thank you,” Kili said.  
Bilbo glanced up at him. “For what?”  
“For inventing a need to visit relatives you’ve told me you scarcely even bother with simply to get me out of the house and out of my head for a while.”

Bilbo had no idea Kili had caught on to his plan. He laughed dismissively, though not very convincingly.

“Inventing? Honestly, Kee, the things you-“  
“- _Lobelia_ , Bee?" Kili cut him off pointedly. "Really? Do you think for one moment I’d believe you have voluntarily had anything to do with her if you didn’t think you needed to rescue me from my pining?”

Bilbo exhaled in defeat, looking up at Kili from under his brow.

“I didn’t realize she would be here, you know. I hadn’t planned to be quite _that_ obvious. Her being in this part of the Shire this week was an unhappy accident, then when she heard we were here, she hightailed it over.”  
Kili kissed his cheek. “That’s fair enough. Either way, I know you were trying to help and it was lovely. On the subject of my poor mood, though, I’ve been considering what you said as well as thinking on my own. If Fee and Bo want to take some time to just be married, there's no reason I shouldn't be able to wait. The day of the wedding was more intense than I thought it would be, as were apparently my feelings about what I had expected to happen afterwards, and I might have overreacted when they didn’t leap right back into the way it was before. They gave us so much time to figure things out for ourselves before our wedding, and likewise we had our own reasons to be quick about it afterwards. Expecting them to keep our same timeline was an emotional reaction, not a practical one. I’m going to do better about being patient.”  
“You were wonderfully patient in the time leading up to their wedding, too. Don’t be too hard on yourself about the last few days.”  
“I think I owe you an apology, too.”  
“What? Why?”  
“Mooning around, upset about Fee…as though I was unhappy. Bee, if it was only you and me forever, it would still be everything to me.”

Bilbo hushed him with soft fingers against his lips.

“I know, dear heart. I am your Chosen as you are mine. Nothing will change that. Having other feelings or other hopes doesn’t undo what we have, nor am I offended because you had hope for something to layer into this beautiful thing we have.”  
“It is funny, you know. I used to be so wildly jealous of Thorin that it burned me from the inside out. Now I’ve tasted his kiss and witnessed the two of you make love. We’re _both_ intimately acquainted with Fee in a way I never would have expected and I’ve encouraged what has bloomed between you and Bo. Instead of being jealous of Thorin, Fee, and Bo, I’ve wound up missing them in our bed. I look at myself and wonder who I even am sometimes.”  
“So, this new Kili…what do you think of him?”

Kili gazed into Bilbo’s eyes, lovingly brushing his fringe across his forehead.

“I think he is the most fortunate dwarf in the whole of Middle Earth, Bee.”

 

 

*****

Quite to their surprise, Kili and Bilbo came home to a house that smelled heavenly.

Fili shooed them out of his kitchen, urging them to wash up, warm up, and have a nice sit in the parlor before dinner was finished. Once they settled in by the fire, Bofur brought them a cup of wine each before returning to his cooking. Bilbo and Kili glanced at each other, puzzled.

 

 

*****

Bilbo noticed their dinner was comprised of the (in season) things he and Kili loved best to eat, not the least of which was Fili’s own handmade bread he had learned to bake when they all lived with Beorn. Bilbo swallowed around the emotion in his throat. This was quite a romantic gesture to a hobbit and a quick look at Fili and Bofur told Bilbo that they intended it to be taken as such. Whether or not they had plans to return to sharing physical intimacy any time soon, one thing was clear: this was plainly not the act of anyone interested in going back to simply being friends.

Once seated, Kili reached over and squeezed Bilbo’s thigh. Bilbo looked up at the beautiful expression on his face and knew in an instant that Kili understood what dinner meant, too. Bilbo rested his hand atop Kili’s and squeezed back.

Something deep within Bilbo’s core relaxed for the first time in days.

 

 

*****

Dinner conversation was comfortable and joyful. Fili and Bofur enjoyed hearing the stories of the day. Bofur, in particular, got the biggest kick out of Lobelia—first from what he knew to be Bilbo’s consternation in having to deal with her yet again, then from Bilbo nearly giving the poor lass a heart attack.

After dinner, Fili poured Bilbo and Kili more wine and encouraged them once again to sit and relax while he and Bofur cleaned up in the kitchen.

Bilbo stirred the parlor fire back up, tossing on another log to help it roar.

“So I have to ask,” Kili said low and conspiratorially, “Did that feel like wooing to you? Because I’m feeling a little wooed right now.”  
“Not to get your hopes up, but it certainly seemed that way," he concurred with a smile. He ticked the clues off on his fingers. "One doesn’t make one a meal of someone else's favorites, not allow the others to lift a finger, and then ply them with delicious wine on top of it all and it _not_ be wooing.”

Kili raised his wine in a playful salute and drank. Eyeing Bilbo over the rim of his cup, he paused mid-sip and lowered his wine with a grin.

“Oh, my jewel, what _are_ you thinking with such a roguish expression on your face?”  
“I’m thinking that maybe we do a little wooing of our own.”

 

 

*****

Bofur was in the middle of washing a dish when he heard the music. He slowly set it back into the water.

“Do you hear that?” he asked.  
Fili stopped, too, drying his hands. “Yes.”

Going to investigate, they paused in the door of the parlor to observe. The others were fetchingly lit by the glow of the fire as Bilbo sang and Kili played his fiddle. It was a beautiful song neither Fili nor Bofur knew.

Bilbo’s clear, high tenor complimented Kili’s playing style on this piece most particularly; their blended notes alone would have tugged at the heart even had the lyrics been plain. They were not plain, however. Bilbo’s voice was achingly full of longing as he pleaded the case of the hopeful lover, singing of friendship turned to love, of gentle touches developing into fervent, passionate embraces. It was bewitching and erotic, too sublimely sensual to be a bawdy tavern song and too scandalous to be shared in mixed company otherwise.

Bilbo turned and saw them. “Hello!”  
Fili stepped forward. “Oh, please don’t stop!”  
“Not much left of it at the moment, anyway,” Kili said, lowering the fiddle and setting it aside.

Bofur entered the room and sat in the chair next to them.

“What song is that? It doesn’t come close to matching any I know,” he asked.  
“I would hope not,” Bilbo said, not unkindly. “Kee and I have been composing this one together for a time, though we’ve not yet finished it.”

Fili leaned on the arm of Bofur’s chair, his eyes moving back and forth between Bilbo and Kili.

“Is the subject…is it meaningful to you?” he asked reverently.  
With a steady look that conveyed far more than his words, Bilbo confirmed, “It is.” 

Next to him, Kili wet his lips and nodded his agreement.

Fili scarcely dared to breathe, subconsciously mirroring Kili by licking his lips, too. His heart pounded in his chest and he felt himself thick in his trousers.

“And how does it end?” asked Bofur.

Bilbo gazed between Bofur and Fili. He was acutely aware of the heat of Kili’s thigh against his and fancied he could hear the blood rushing in between his ears.

Softly, he asked back, “How would you like it to end?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kind words. They keep me going.


	49. Beginning The Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you two only knew the plans we had for today. We were up half the night talking, making love, considering potential issues, making love again…we had talking points and speeches and all such things to put forth in order to be wise about the re-proposal of our arrangement like proper lads. Now, here, propriety is the last thing I want to spend time on when we could be shedding our clothes and reuniting. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously the bad news is that it took me *looks at watch* about six weeks to update. HOWEVER--good news #1 is that this chapter is some 6,000 words. Good news #2 is that the next chapter is also ready to go. I'll post it soon but not immediately--I'd really love to get some comments on this installment before I post the other. It won't be 6 weeks, though. Probably more like 6 hours <3
> 
> As always, when you see a non-centered ***** before a section, it denotes a switch between couples within the same scene.

_“What song is that? It doesn’t come close to matching one I know.” ___  
_“I would hope not. Kee and I have been writing this one together.”_  
_“Is it…is it meaningful to you?”_  
_“It is.”_

Kili watched Fili wet his lips and felt his breath skip in his lungs. 

_“And how does it end?”_

He glanced at Bofur, noticing the dwarf’s hands had a slight tremble. His own heart felt as though it had moved to his throat. Funny how just scant hours before, he had made his peace with waiting however long he needed to. He and Bilbo had been taking a flirtatious chance by serenading Fili and Bofur with their song, but he didn’t think either of them imagined it would lead them here: all looking at each other, the tension in the room so thick they could slice it and serve it as dessert, discussing a song but really talking about something so much more. Kili’s cock stiffened even while his insides turned to jelly and he held his breath—he mused they likely all were—waiting to hear what Bilbo’s reply would be. 

_“How would you like it to end?”_

Kili let his breath out with a whoosh that nicely complimented the rapid thudding of his heartbeat (now back in his chest where it belonged). _Bee, you absolute beauty_ , he thought gratefully. Mahal bless the bravery of hobbits! His glance darted to Fili and he knew something momentous was about to happen…and he was pretty sure (by the darkening of Fili’s eyes and the shallowness of his breaths) that they were all going to like it quite a lot. 

Kili watched Fili wet his lips again, standing, moving, and holding out each of his hands for Bilbo and Kili to grasp. 

“If you two only knew the plans we had for today. We were up half the night talking, making love, considering potential issues, making love again…we had talking points and speeches and all such things to put forth in order to be wise about the re-proposal of our arrangement like proper lads. Now, here, propriety is the last thing I want to spend time on when we could be shedding our clothes and reuniting. How do I want your song to end? I don’t. I don’t want it to end at all. I want Bo and I to add verses to your song with our bodies, and I want you two to sing it back to us with yours….”

A bolt of desire shot through Kili’s core so strongly it made his stomach flip. One look at Bilbo told him he was experiencing his own similar rush.

“And you, Bo?” Bilbo asked.  
Swallowing hard, Bofur replied, “Aye, Fee’s wish is mine as well, all around.”  
With a slight quaver in his voice, Bilbo said, “Possibly, then, those proper particulars might wait until after bed?”  
“All but one, for it is most important,” Fili said, releasing their hands and glancing between them. “Do you want this?” 

Bilbo caught his gaze, holding it as he shortened the already brief distance between them. He cradled Fili’s jaw, pushing up on his toes to capture his mouth in a gentle, promising kiss. 

Murmuring against Fili’s lips, Bilbo said, “I do not want it to end, either.”  
Fili swallowed, still able to feel Bilbo’s breath close to his face. He kept his eyes closed. “Is that your answer? For both of you?”  
“Perhaps it is best for Kee to answer for himself,” said Bilbo, stepping aside and trading glances with Kili. 

When Fili opened his eyes again, it was at the touch of Kili’s hand on his shoulder. 

Kili smiled. “Hi.”  
Fili grinned back in spite of himself. “Hi yourself.” 

With concern, Kili noted Fili's grin didn't stay.

“What’s wrong, Fee?”

Fili shook his head. He didn’t know why he was this way, so serious when they were breaths away from such delights. He was rooted to the spot with the gravity of the situation, needing to hear the words, to be told _yes_ , to be free to move. After the shock and heartache of all that preceded this—especially with Fili having finally been ready to give in to his feelings and desires at the very moment the other three were agreeing to a temporary break—he could accept nothing less. Bilbo had spoken his part, but he was not the only one Fili was waiting for. 

He murmured his plea. “Say it.”  
Kili smiled again. “I thought I was supposed to be the needy one between us.”

Fili was losing his patience, though it was obvious from the way Kili was grinning and gazing at him what the answer was. He shot Kili a look.

The pointed glance let Kili know he was pushing it with the teasing. Studying Fili’s face, Kili felt a pang of guilt when he noticed the pain hiding behind the desire in Fili’s eyes. Fili truly was waiting for his declaration. 

Softly, Kili said, “I don’t want the song to end, either, if that’s the metaphor we’re sticking with. Yes, Fee. The answer is yes.”

Swept up in giddy relief, Fili clutched Kili close and kissed him. Kili nipped at his bottom lip, hanging onto it for a moment before releasing it. Fili gently bit back and they both giggled. Fili gazed at Kili, all bright eyes and flushed skin. This time, it wasn’t about claiming ownership from Thorin or being shadowed by the fear and shame of his wants as it had been in their past encounters. This was finally just about the two of them, enjoying themselves and each other. With Kili’s sly smile and mirthful, twinkling eyes, a wave of emotion rolled through Fili so strong it almost brought him to tears.

Bofur and Bilbo had been too busy observing Kili and Fili to start in on their own happy reunion. With the tense (and frankly, Bofur thought, beautiful) moment of permission now over, Bofur decided it best to wait until he and Bilbo reached the bedroom to move forward with the kissing and touching…because he had no plans to stop once they started. He squeezed Bilbo’s hand and glanced toward the hall; Bilbo seemed to ken his intent immediately. 

Brushing Fili’s and Kili’s arms to gain their attention, Bilbo nodded in the direction of the bedroom. They did not hesitate to act on the suggestion.

*****

On the way down the hall, Bilbo held Kili back a couple paces. He whispered, “Do not concern yourself with me tonight, dear heart.”

In an instant, a dozen things raced through Kili’s mind—protests, thanks, plans involving the both of them—but a good look into Bilbo’s eyes settled them all with a joyful warmth. 

“Nor you me,” he said, kissing him deeply.  
“Oi,” Bofur called out to them. “Aren’t you joining us in your bedroom?”  
Kili rested his head against Bilbo’s. “See to the fire. We’ll be right there.”

*****

The room was already starting to warm by the time Bilbo and Kili caught up, though Bofur and Fili were fully dressed.

“Too cold still?” Bilbo said to Bofur.  
“No, simply waiting for the two of you before we strip down.”  
“Let me get going on that, then,” Bilbo replied, unbuttoning Bofur’s shirt. 

Kili slipped the braces from Fili’s shoulders, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. 

“Those for Bee?”  
“Yes.”  
“You look cute in hobbit clothes.” Kili smoothed the shirt off Fili’s shoulders. “But I might prefer you best out of them.”

The four of them undressed each other and--in the case of the more fiddly bits--themselves. Bending down to unsnag himself out of his pant leg, Fili unexpectedly caught Bilbo’s eye while the hobbit was doing the same. Fili straightened up quickly.

“Bee,” he whispered, feeling suddenly self-conscious of mostly ignoring him for the past several moments in favor of Kili, particularly since he had been yearning for Bilbo all this time, too.

Bilbo reassured him in an instant.

“We can’t all be two places at once. I’ll keep Bo occupied while you and Kee figure it out.”

Fili felt a surge of adoration over Bilbo’s understanding.

*****

It was only when they were undressed that Bilbo and Bofur finally narrowed their focus to each other. 

“So,” Bilbo said to Bofur, smoothing his hand down Bofur’s arm.  
“So.”  
“You made love twice working all this out last night?”  
Bofur hummed a laugh. “Aye.”  
“Those must have been some plans.”

Bofur reached out, curving his hand around the nape of Bilbo’s neck. 

“Allow me to demonstrate some of the highlights,” he murmured, going in for a kiss.

Bilbo licked back, grasping the back of Bofur’s head and urging him down for a deeper taste. He relished the grunt it pulled from Bofur’s throat and melted further into his embrace. 

After several moments, Bofur mouthed along Bilbo’s jaw and up to his ear, nibbling at the lobe while he caressed his back.

“I missed you so,” he whispered, voice husky with emotion.  
Bilbo held him close. “Me as well, so much!”  
Pushing back enough to look into Bilbo’s eyes, Bofur said, “One of the most difficult things I’ve done since we reached the Shire was let you leave the other night.”  
“Do you have any idea how tough it was to go?”  
“Now that you’re finally in my arms again, I don’t know what to do with you first,” Bofur said.  
“I’m experiencing a similar dilemma.”

Bofur guided him to the bed, laying him down wrong-ways close to the foot board to give both couples plenty of room. Bilbo looked up at him with sparkling eyes.

“This is an excellent start.”

*****

Clothes shed, Fili and Kili climbed up on the pillowed side of the bed. On their knees, they picked up where they had left off, simply caressing each other's arms, backs, chests, and faces while they kissed. This felt different than their other encounters and they took their time savoring it. 

The friction of their bodies rubbing together eventually became too much to ignore and, taking a directional cue from Bofur and Bilbo, Fili urged Kili back onto the bed. He dipped down again and claimed Kili’s mouth tenderly. He rubbed their noses together and rested his forehead against Kili’s, losing any shred of remaining doubt to those deep and beautiful brown eyes. 

Kili saw something meaningful flicker in Fiii’s gaze, at the same time physically _feeling_ a charge in the air between them. It made his insides flutter.

“What is it, Fee?” he whispered, awed.

Shifting, Fili nosed Kili’s cheek so he would turn his head, mouthing down to his neck. He reverently kissed the vulnerable softness just past the pulse, licked the faintness of salt a little further over, scraped his teeth over the part that always made Kili’s breath hitch, and sucked. Kili bucked underneath him, the heated skin sliding against Fili’s cock, and they both groaned. Fili leaned back, desire surging. Kili was under him—panting, flushed, trusting, and aroused. Fili _ached_ for him.

Kili murmured, “Fee.”

Reaching to thread his hand well into Fili’s hair, Kili leaned upward to bestow a mark of his own. Latching on, he tugged Fili’s head back by the hair for better access. Fili didn’t recognize the noise that came out of his mouth. 

One moment Kili was sucking his claim into Fili’s neck, the next moment Fili had seized his face and passionately invaded his mouth. Their tongues swept against each other while Fili undulated his whole core, rubbing them together deliciously. Kili did his best to meet Fili’s every grind, lick, and nibble as Fili used his whole body to kiss him breathless. 

“You’ve never kissed me like that before,” Kili panted, astonished, when they finally broke. 

Fili could feel their hearts pounding together where their chests touched.

“I’m not afraid anymore, Kee.”

*****

“Forgive me, Bo, but I have been starved of you too long to tease out the beginning.”

Bilbo bit and sucked into Bofur’s neck, unaware that something similar was going on nearby.

Involuntarily arching his back from the thrill, Bofur said, “I don’t think I could stand it tonight, anyhow.”

Satisfied with the mark, Bilbo kissed his way down Bofur’s chest, barely pausing at his cock before he took it in his mouth. Bofur cried out.

“You meant…starving…literally,” gulped Bofur. 

Bofur gave himself over to Bilbo’s talents, having missed this closeness between them more than even he had realized. A mere breath before Bofur was going to have to stop Bilbo from taking him past the point of no return, Bilbo paused and crawled back up his body to claim a deep kiss before sliding off, still pressed against Bofur’s side with his head resting on his hand. 

They gazed at each other, breathing together silently until Bilbo spoke soft and low. 

“It seems silly now, how I fretted,” he said, rubbing soft circles into the hair on Bofur’s chest with his other hand. “I should have known there was no going back from this, not after everything we’ve done and the things we’ve confessed we want to do.”

Bofur captured Bilbo’s hand and brought it to his lips. 

He replied, “It never was about going back, though, was it? I thought we were taking a break to let our hearts and minds catch up to our pricks.”  
“No, you’re right. We never planned to go back, not Kee nor I, but there was that worry…”  
“It was a pointless worry. I can scarcely remember a time I didn’t want you, and even then only because I hadn’t yet met you.”

After another kiss, Bilbo climbed forward to stretch towards the oil dish. Given his body position when he reached it, Bilbo shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was to feel Bofur lick at his shaft, drawing moan from him. Close behind where he was angled, he could see Fili and Kili. He paused to observe, unable to recall them being so equally uninhibited together before. He supposed he should be jealous, watching his Kili so pliant in someone else’s arms, but this was _Fili_. In addition to his own plans of enjoying Fili like that soon enough (and enjoying Bofur like that right this moment), in a weird way Kili had belonged to Fili first, even though the sexual aspect was quite new. No, the only twitch Bilbo felt was his cock. 

Bilbo made himself stop staring, decided he didn’t want to keep going back to the dish from his distance, and snatched the filling bottle instead. 

Bofur felt Bilbo shift to return, but did not stop, instead trailing kisses along the form retreating back across his body. 

When they were again face to face, Bilbo whispered, “I need to feel more of you."  
“I need you to feel more of me.”

Shifting lower still, Bilbo’s lips brushed Bofur’s chest while he expertly popped open the bottle to oil up for the first round. He glanced up to see Bofur craning to watch him, eyes flicking from the bottle back to Bilbo’s face. 

Bilbo asked, “Do you want-?”  
“-Aye, desperately. Please.”

Rubbing gently across Bofur's entrance helped relax him, adding that first bit of needed slip as well as stoking the fire burning within Bilbo. He wanted to give this pleasure as much as he looked forward to receiving pleasures of his own. 

Bofur hiccuped on the sharp intake of breath when Bilbo finally pushed a digit inside him. He silently reminded himself to breathe and before long, Bilbo was in to the last knuckle. 

*****

After many moments of kissing feverishly, Fili reared back, tapped Kili’s hip, and signaled with a nod for Kili to turn over. Kili blinked up at him a moment before he complied. Given Fili’s confession of facing his fears, Kili had rather thought his first deeply sexual request of the evening would be something different…though he couldn’t really bring himself to be disappointed, not if Fili was offering something else so intimate. Seeming to read the thoughts flickering behind his eyes, Fili brushed Kili’s hair off his forehead. 

“It won’t be like that. I just—I want…”

Kili smiled and rolled over onto his stomach, not making Fili try to find the way to complete his thought. Actutely aware Fili had not done this since their first time together, words had suddenly seemed like not enough…for either of them. 

Fili paused, even as Kili tantalizingly wiggled his bottom. The only time they had engaged in this particular intimacy was just after Thorin's departure, when Fili felt the possessive need to get one up on him. He chased the ache in his gut away, refusing to let Thorin intrude this time around. Fili was determined to fully appreciate the experience, to _create_ an experience for Kili, instead of having a personal, familial, and existential crisis like last time.

The hesitation Kili sensed had threatened to rob him of the excitement Fili’s request had given him…until Fili caressed him, spread him, and-

“-Mahal’s grace!” crooned Kili.

Clutching the blanket, Kili thought he might fly into a dozen pieces as Fili worked him. His heart pounded, his cock throbbed, his hole quivered under Fili’s tongue, and his head swam with too many thoughts to finish a single one. Though it had been lovely in its own right, last time had been nothing like this. 

A touch of Kili’s hair brought him to open his eyes. Across from him, roughly an arm’s length, a debauched looking Bofur had reached out to him. Their eyes met and Bofur, panting and purring from Bilbo’s efforts, gently stroked Kili’s hair. They remained locked in the tender moment for several breaths. Bofur suddenly bucked forward with a thrilling cry, turning his full attention to Bilbo, and the spell was broken. Kili observed them both before closing his eyes again, arousal further expanding.

Kili’s moans vibrated against Fili’s lips and around his tongue. Fili was not a stranger to this act, yet he was once again floored by the intimacy of using his mouth on Kili’s— _Kili’s_ —most vulnerable area. Kili shuddered beneath him and Fili found himself wanting to make him do it again and again. Spreading him wider, Fili licked in as deep as he could go. The resulting groan satisfied him easily as much as it did Kili. Each time he repeated the motion, Kili pushed back. Realizing what was happening, Fili stilled Kili’s hips with a squeeze of his elbows to stop him from rubbing himself off against the bed. However, Kili was determined and, if the sighs and moans were worth going by, too close to be held by the mere pressure of Fili’s biceps.

Fili crawled up Kili’s back. Kili raised his hips against him, grinding his bum against Fili’s erection. Fili grunted and rested his forehead on Kili’s nape. 

He recovered enough to rasp, “I want you to enjoy yourself, but I have plans for you coming and they involve my mouth, not this blanket. “

Kili keened, straining under him, and Fili drew back to see what he was trying to do. With the added room between their bodies, Kili turned himself around to face Fili. Lightning quick, Kili’s next move was to flip Fili flat on his back. Fili landed with a soft bounce, shoulder to shoulder and thigh-to-thigh with Bofur. 

*****

The bed moved and--quite suddenly--Bofur had Fili next to him. Kili scrambled up after, climbing on top of Fili and kissing him madly. Bilbo and Bofur both took a moment to appreciate the sight, though soon they were wrapped up in each other again.

*****

Kili kissed, bit, and tongued a path down Fiii’s chest, his chosen destination unmistakable despite the satisfying detours along the way. Fili started to protest that he wanted to taste Kili first, but the delight spiking through his body from the wicked heat of Kili’s mouth silenced his argument.

The imbalance of reciprocity between them that had caused Kili such confusion before their suspension didn’t bother him at all at the moment. He only cared that that they were once again intimate, that Kili was able to taste and kiss Fili again, to make him moan and whimper, and to be touched and whimpering himself. He had missed him too much to push him too far or too fast. Any little bit Fili let him in felt like such a gift.

Finally reaching his prize, Kili glanced up at Fili with a twinkle in his eye. Fili let his head fall back on the pillow, taking a deep breath to steady himself for whatever delights Kili had planned for him. 

*****

Bilbo had been mostly driving Bofur wild with his fingers alone, minus a few fleeting licks and warm breaths along Bofur’s shaft. 

“Bee, please!” begged Bofur. “If I have to wait another minute for that mouth of yours…”  
Smirking, Bilbo said, “Well, now, I was about to do that very thing, but I might simply have to wait just to see what this threat might turn out to be.”  
Bofur grunted in frustration. “Bilbo Baggins! For the love of-“

His words caught in his throat as Bilbo sucked him in, wiggling his fingers _just so_ as he did it. Bofur’s fingers clutched the blanket as he struggled to remember how to breathe. He was close—too close—in a flash. It surely didn’t help to have Fili writhing next to him, vocalizing the rapture he was experiencing with Kili’s lovely mouth taking him in. Had he the capacity to chuckle, he might have just done so from the sheer absurd unlikelihood of being side-by-side with his Chosen, each getting the life sucked from them by another pair of husbands. 

Bilbo withdrew to oil his fingers again, knowing the comfort of fresh slick would feel even better. Bofur's shout as Bilbo resumed sent a shivering bolt of satisfaction through him. The tight heat wrapped around Bilbo’s fingers grew even warmer. His lover was close and, judging from every muscle Bilbo could feel tensing and twitching under him, this orgasm promised to be fierce. 

Bofur's muscles were nearly knotted from the build-up of tension in his limbs as he grew nearer and nearer to his finish. He glanced down, stunned to find Kili watching _him_ intently. The lust blackening Kili’s eyes--focused on Bofur even as Fili’s cock was buried in that wicked mouth nearly to the hilt—proved one thing too many for Bofur’s senses to take. The invisible thread snapped and Bofur’s climax tore through him, shaking his body from head to toe.

*****

Toes curling of their own accord, Fili idly wondered if Bilbo had taught this delectable teasing technique to Kili or if it had been the other way around. Much as Bilbo had done to him that one sweet afternoon on their own, Kili skillfully brought Fili to the brink over and over, backing off before he reached his crisis, and bringing him there again. He thought (hoped, wished) Kili might use his fingers to add dimension to the experience—Fili _had_ told him he wasn’t afraid, after all—but Kili avoided everything below Fili’s stones. 

It seemed a silly thing, but Fili did not know where to look, surrounded as he was by erotic delights. Fili could not take holding Kili’s gaze too long. Those open, trusting eyes clouded with desire were too much in conjunction with those lovely lips were wrapped around him. Every time he tried, he grew so close Kili backed off. Next to him, hearing and watching Bofur get his proper seeing-to spiked his arousal in a largely similar fashion. He could tell Bofur was about to finish and his husband’s imminent orgasm called his own. Once again, Kili paused, not yet ready to let Fili come. Exhaling a shuddering breath, Fili unexpectedly locked eyes with Bilbo while he sucked Bofur to a powerful, shouting conclusion. 

*****

Quite satisfied with himself, Bilbo moved back up Bofur’s body. He had planned to hold and kiss him until Bofur felt like giving him a little back of his own, but an unexpected hand tugged at him. 

“Bee,” Fili croaked. 

Bilbo found himself half on Fili, half on Bofur, with Fili straining to kiss him. Bofur’s body moved from under him, landing Bilbo partly on the bed and partly pressed into Fili. 

“Give me,” Fili murmured, thrusting his tongue into Bilbo’s mouth.  
When his tongue was his own again, Bilbo replied, “I didn’t save much for you.”

About that time, Bilbo figured out the reason Bofur moved. One arm reached under Bilbo, securing him around the stomach and pulling him flush. The other hand, now gloriously slick with oil, clasped his cock. 

Voice low and filthy, Bofur said, “You can make it up to him, maybe trade him a little of yours since you didn't save enough of mine. I’ll bet Fee would like you to come on him, wouldn’t you, Fee?”

Kili took Fili in his mouth again.

“Fuck!” shouted Fili.  
“Sounds like a yes to me,” Bofur said.

Bofur held Bilbo tightly, working his cock rapidly and purposefully. There was no teasing here. Bilbo felt a heady, erotic helplessness as Bofur rapidly pulled him towards orgasm. 

Kili’s mouth had Fili close, and Bilbo getting veritably milked before his eyes (to say nothing of the resulting cries) brought him closer still. 

“If I shifted a little lower,” said Bofur, “I’ll bet he could probably hit Kee from here, too, don’t you imagine?”

What Bofur was proposing was so obscene, Fili could only whine in response. 

“What do you think, Kee? Do you want it?”

Kili groaned affirmatively with his mouth full. 

With one deft movement, Bofur moved them lower. Just over Fili’s hip, Bofur relentlessly stroked Bilbo until he came. 

Fili watched as the first ribbon of Bilbo’s ejaculate hit Fili’s shaft on Kili’s upstroke, the second on Kili’s face as he slid his lips back down to taste the first one. The remaining spurts landed on Fili’s hipbone. 

Fili came instantly.

Tasting both Fili and Bibo in his mouth at once made Kili’s neglected cock throb. He helped Fili shudder through the final waves of his climax, relishing the flare of the bond under his own skin. The wet arousal that had already puddled under Kili on the blanket cooled when he shifted. Unable to take the denial any longer, Kili rolled on his back, licked his palm, and touched himself. 

“What are you doing?” Fili said, grasping Kili’s wrist to get him to stop. “Let me. Please.”

Kili stopped, making a gesture to indicate he was only too happy to allow Fili to take over. Fili shook his head slowly. 

“Let me _taste_.”

Kili subconsciously licked his lips at the suggestion. He folded his hands behind his head with a confidence he didn’t quite feel, attempting to look collected instead of nervous and excited as he truly was. Fili shook his head again.

Scooting off the bed, Fili said, “Please, I want it like this.” 

Fili pulled Kili to standing and tossed a pillow to the floor. He lowered himself to his knees, using the pillow as a cushion. He looked up at Kili. 

Little would have prepared Kili for the vision of Fili on his knees for him, his normally bright eyes darkened with passion. Had he not known him so well, he might have missed the slightest trace of uncertainty there, too. The position Fili had insisted upon was meaningful, Kili realized. This was trust, this was surrender, and Fili was waiting for a sign that Kili understood.

He reached out to brush Fili’s jaw, thumb caressing his bottom lip.

“I want you, Fili,” he whispered. 

Fili’s tongue darted out for a fleeting taste of the digit, his gaze never wavering. He smoothed a hand up Kili’s thigh and received a blissful sigh in return. He continued his path across Kili’s hip and gently grasped his cock, pulling a quick breath and small noise from Kili. Moving forward, he ran his tongue from stones to tip, circling the head to wet it properly before he took it in. The hand Kili had cradled his jaw with so affectionately had moved to his shoulder and was now firmly holding it. Fili peeked up and the pure longing written all over Kili’s face gave him the rest of the courage he needed. 

The luscious heat of Fili’s mouth engulfing him would have been enough to make Kili stumble all on its own, but this moment and what it meant to him, to _them_ … Kili couldn’t hold himself on his feet. He leaned back on the bed (luckily only scant inches away) to stay upright for Fili. Aside from Thorin’s mouth on Kili’s prick only fleetingly, Kili had never known this sensation with anyone besides Bilbo. It was different--neither worse nor better, though definitely glorious in its own unique way. 

Fili took his time at first, feeling the weight of Kili against his tongue, relishing his particular taste, _experiencing_ him and how it felt to have Kili inside him for the first time as his lover. As Kili had known all along, Fili already felt different. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath before sucking him in again. 

Quite glad they were close to the bedpost, Kili clutched it with one arm to keep himself still. It felt phenomenal and his hips stuttered, wanting to chase this pleasure. Not wanting to scare Fili or take too much this first time, Kili did his best to try and regain control. Fili hummed around him affirmatively, sucking back down his length as he withdrew. 

“Yes, move.”

Surprised, Kili glanced down. Fili looked back up at him earnestly, split-slick and flushed, and Kili felt a jolt skitter through his body. 

“Move?” he said carefully.  
Fili nodded, rolling in his lips. “Fuck my mouth. I want you to.”

Unable to help himself, a whimper escaped Kili, followed by a louder moan when Fili took him in again. Letting go of the bedpost, he twined his fingers into Fili’s hair.

 _ _“Yes,” moaned Fili. “Use my hair to guide me, pull it while you_ have_ me.”  
“Fee!” cried Kili.

The last of Kili's resolve broke and their encounter rapidly devolved into the fiercely sexual. Gripping Fili’s hair close to his scalp, Kili thrust into him again and again. Fili’s hand wrapped around him at the base--likely to keep Kili from gagging him--adding another layer of stimulation to every stroke. He was frenzied now, fucking fast and hard, Fili’s filthy moans buzzing around him and pushing him further, both physically and otherwise. A sudden, telltale sharpening of this sex haze spurred him to warn Fili. He relaxed his grip in his hair, though he kept moving as he spoke. 

“I’m close. If you don’t—fuck--if you don’t want-“ 

Kili could barely finish his thought with the pleasure spiking so acutely. 

“-Pull back if you don’t,” he managed. 

With quick but fluid movements, Fili tightened his hand on top of Kili’s in his hair--indicating he wanted him to keep pulling--released it, and reached around Kili to clutch his arse, bringing him in closer. 

Kili’s head dropped forward, scarcely able to believe Fili managed to improve upon an already stunningly erotic moment. He didn’t have long to think much of anything else before he was shaking and coming in Fili’s mouth. He could feel Fili shaking, too, even as he chased every last drop. 

“That’s it,” he gasped. “Swallow me, all of me.”

Though Fili had felt Kili under his skin when they had gotten each other off before—enough to obviously recognize they carried a bond even without intercourse--he was not at all prepared for the feeling of Kili’s bond pulsing through his blood like _this_. It was as clear and strong as Bofur’s was when they made love…and it affected him with a surprising similarity.

When Fili finally released him, Kili saw the mess they made of him: Fili’s eyes watered, his face flushed bright pink, his lips were swollen, and his beard was spit-soaked. As gorgeous as Kili found this debauched version of Fili (and oh, he did!), the look in those watery eyes instantly stalled the compliment in his throat.

Fili was dimly aware Kili had dropped to his knees to hold him. Kili tugged him back with him, sitting against the bed, cradling Fili back to chest on the floor in front of him. Kili’s pressing of comforting kisses into his hair finally brought him back to his senses. Fili craned his head up to look at him. 

“I didn’t know," Fili said, half-dazed. "I mean, I _knew_ , but I didn’t understand. Oh, Kee. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”  
Still feeling the after-effects of a bone-rattling orgasm, Kili did his best to soothe. “Shhh, Fee. It is okay.”

Fili turned around in his arms, sitting on his knees. 

“It isn’t, though! I knew it was in our blood, I could feel it from that very first time, but I didn’t know…didn’t know it felt like _this_. You tried to tell me, but I didn’t understand. I left you there, ‘on the other side,’ as Bo would say, all alone without me.”  
“Not completely without you. We talked about it, about you feeling marked. It wasn’t as though you felt nothing.”  
“I suppose a part of me might have suspected it—I had the same fear I had about Bo—but I still…Durin’s Beard, Kee! I am so sorry.”

Kili pulled Fili into his embrace, murmuring assurances. 

*****

With the rush of his orgasm abating, Bilbo rolled over into Bofur’s arms, meeting his lover in a series of tender, deep kisses, pausing only when Kili’s moans grew loud. Bilbo and Bofur each stole a peek, only able to see Kili’s quivering form clutching the bedpost for dear life and Fili’s blond head rhythmically bobbing in and out of view. Wordlessly, they turned back to each other, both deciding individually to let Kili and Fili have this particular long-awaited moment for themselves. 

Bofur had so much he still wanted to say—they all did, didn’t they?—but it was difficult speaking soft words of love with the sound of Kili ramping up to what was going to be a spectacular release. Bilbo’s ragged breathing told him that Bilbo wasn’t quite able to ignore it, either. Bofur pressed in for another kiss and Bilbo fervently returned it, whimpering into Bofur’s mouth when they heard Kili finally come. The two of them rested their foreheads together afterwards. 

“In a way, I almost feel like I came again,” Bilbo whispered.  
Bofur tried not to snicker. “Stop it….me too. We probably shouldn’t have been listening.”  
Bilbo grinned sheepishly. “I know.”

Bofur wanted to discuss it further, but they were straining to keep their whispers to themselves as it was…though they were probably not being heard, regardless, as the lads had been having a conversation of their own. 

The room eventually fell silent, save for the sounds of breathing, and stayed that way far too long for Bofur’s preference. By his estimation, the lads should have long since gotten back on the bed.

*****

Kili sensed movement, glancing up to see a pair of faces peering over the side. 

“You two can share the bed, you know,” Bofur said. “I can’t imagine the floor is all that warm or comfortable.”  
Fili moved to stand, wincing. “When you’re right, you’re right. It was where we landed, though, and-“

He offered his hand to Kili to help him stand, catching his eye meaningfully. 

“Somehow, I couldn’t bring myself to move,” he finished softly. 

Now on his feet, Kili affectionately smoothed his hand across Fili’s cheek.

“Oh! Did we interrupt too soon?” asked Bilbo worriedly.  
Kili went to Bilbo, responding with a kiss. “Not at all, my jewel.”  
Leaning in close to Kili’s ear, Bilbo whispered, “How are you?”  
“Better,” Kili whispered back. “You?”  
“Better.”

They kissed again. 

*****

It was still ahead of what usually passed for their favored bedtime, having retired for their sensual reunion shortly after dinner as they did. There was also the matter of the looming discussion they put off in favor of that reunion. Now cleaned up and with the pressing desires sated, they cautiously agreed it was best not to delay it any longer.

Bilbo volunteered to get the wine, Fili fetched the cups, and Kili took care of gathering the dressing gowns to boost their warmth (and, maybe, to lessen the feeling of exposure in the heart-spilling to come). Bofur added a log to the fire before joining the three of them on the bed. 

“So, where do we start?” he asked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the reasons this took so long is because I really wanted the Fili/Kili scenes to have a particular feel, to respect their journey up to this point. If you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear about it.
> 
> Thank you for still being here!


	50. Using Their Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lads in Bag End discuss the lessons their separation has taught them. The T-word comes up...maybe a little too often for some dwarrows' comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a rare (these days, anyway) double update, so if you don't remember the sexy times after the song in the parlor, you missed a chapter! If you are reading them back to back, I hope you will take a moment to comment on each. Your comments are so encouraging to me.

_“So, where do we start?” Bofur asked._

__They glanced around at each other.

“Fee mentioned earlier the two of you,” Bilbo subtly gestured towards Fili and Bofur, “had discussed some things. Perhaps we might start there.”

Fili breathed deeply through his nose and spoke.

“I must confess, it seems a little awkward laying this out after the fact instead of before, though I’m not sure I would have been able to focus had we not done it just the way we did. I suppose I’ll start by admitting being skeptical this suspension of our bed arrangement would do anything more than test my patience, and it is no secret to anyone here that I hated the resulting wait. However, Bo and I wed and we shared the Lover's Wine and…well, you were right. You were both right about everything. It shifted our perspective in ways we would not have been able to guess. We both know ourselves and each other better now than we ever have. What we want for our future is clearer than ever before, too, which is both breathtaking and daunting at once. Bo and I have agreed the four of us have changed too much try to go back to our original bedplay arrangement from here.”

Kili was glad they had put the sex first, otherwise Fili’s words might have been misconstrued as an ending instead of the beginning they were.

Bilbo nodded sagely. “I think that is a fair assessment.”  
Added Bofur, “Fee and I spent much of last night discussing what we wanted so that--like you once did with us--we could come to you as a couple, neither putting forth anything the other hadn’t explicitly desired. Things are a bit different this time around, though. The stakes are higher and there is a tough road in front of us, tougher than what was proposed the last time we agreed to go to bed.”  
“We would like to hear the terms you’ve agreed on, as well as the issues you anticipate,” Kili said, finding his voice.  
“Yes, please,” echoed Bilbo. 

Bofur screwed up his courage, hoping what he said wouldn’t sound too presumptuous. “Well, this time, there is the possibility of something more between Bee and myself when we reach Erebor, pending time, feelings, and a discussion between us all, including Thorin. I would wager some of the other developments that might cause us no hesitation here might also be affected in the future by Thorin, wouldn’t they?”

Bofur directed the last question towards Kili and Fili in particular, expecting Fili to take his cue. To his surprise, Fili remained silent and Kili spoke. 

“There was a time when I was an observer only, to be touched by Bee alone. After Bee and I were married, we agreed my participation would be my choice, as I wished to allow it. I’ve discovered much more about myself since then and Bee and I have had further discussions regarding how this, all of this, impacts us and each other. As it is—and I don’t think it is a surprise to anyone in this room—I no longer wish to merely be a passive observer…though I do still have one or two personal limits as I always have.”

Bofur listened thoughtfully, having guessed much of what Kili was saying since September, but truly appreciating the clarity that came with Kili giving it voice. He kept an eye on Fili, though, whose furrowed brow of concern did not smooth during Kili’s speech. 

“And Thorin?” Fili asked. “Bo mentioned Thorin specifically.”  
Kili nodded his acknowledgement. “Thorin was where I was heading next. Fee, I hate to be the one to put that look on your face. I can tell you already know in part what I’m going to say.” 

He paused, giving Fili the opportunity to jump in and finish his thought, but Fili did not. It almost would have been easier if he had. 

“My participation in Thorin’s marriage bed—and his participation in mine--will also not be passive, nor accidental, nor something I’m merely being swept along with to keep the peace. It is my desire, Fee. Last time, I was nervous to confess it so openly, just as I was not sure how to deal with what I was growing to want from you. I mentioned to Bee yesterday that this separation between us—by choice for us four and by distance for Thorin—has made me quite miss Thorin, Bo, and you in our bed. I can admit that, now.” 

(Although he was being frank, Kili chose to keep the letter he sent to Erebor, folded in with Bilbo's, a private matter.)

Bofur, having kept a careful watch on Fili for this exchange, had a feeling Fili was not as ready as he had thought for Kili to speak of his desire for Thorin so bluntly. To buy Fili time to think, and because his personal interest in Kili's speech spiked at the mention of his name, Bofur cleared his throat and refocused the subject away from Thorin for a moment.

“As long as we are shaking it all out, Kee, what of me? We tacitly agreed in the past we didn't seem to have the same visceral pull towards each other as we do to the others, but I’ll confess to long admiring your body and I’ve been enjoying these recent kisses until I’m stone-hard in my trousers. I’d like permission to go a bit further and see how it feels.”  
“That is also my wish. As long as Fee and Bee do not have issues, permission granted.”  
As he had already given Kili his leave for whatever he wanted, Bilbo looked to Fili. “Fee, you’ve gone quiet.” 

Bofur sat very still, studying Fili's face as Fili regarded each of them in turn. 

“When I look back to when Bee revealed his rings and the two of you laid out this plan, I confess I did not realize how far things would go or how I would feel. Bee was a surprise to me, Kee certainly was, and I think I was envious of Thorin well before I understood it was because I wanted to touch Kee, too. Things have changed…or maybe they’ve been this way all along and we needed some time to figure it out. I’m not rightly sure I know anymore. What I do know is this: I want this. I want you, Bee--and Kee, and Bo. I want us. Always. If it is too unusual, if it is forbidden, if we must keep it secret—none of that matters. What matters is that any way I try to think through it, regardless of what scenarios I’ve mapped out, when I think about what will make us happy, I always come back to the four of us together.“  
“The five of us, Fee,” Bilbo said gently.  
“I know, but he is not here now...and, for the record, I might as well mention that I do not think I could stand being separated from the three of you the way he currently is. Anyhow, I can admit I'm still dealing with some jealousy where Thorin is concerned and I'm aware I’ll need to sort it when we go to Erebor. Believe me when I tell you I understand agreeing to his participation when we get there is unconditionally part of our terms. However, when I say the four of us, I mean here now, there in the spring, wherever we choose to be. Regarding the question of Bo and Kee specifically, I want us all to have leave to take each other to bed, to explore, feel and play. I want the three of you to enjoy yourselves and get off and if it is from each other—if Bo and Kee can take pleasure from each other—then I’ll get off on it, too.”

Satisfied, Bofur clapped his hands over his knees to punctuate his forthcoming synopsis.

He said, “So, nearest I can tell, the biggest issues here were Thorin, Thorin, Thorin, and whether or not Kee and I would pursue sexual contact, and I believe they’ve all been addressed enough to move forward.”  
“Perhaps,” Kili said to Bofur. “Except we didn’t discuss _your_ Thorin in that list of Thorin, Thorin, and Thorin.”  
Rubbing his neck uneasily, Bofur sighed, “Cor, Kee, what do you want me to say? I’ve said it all a dozen times or more.”  
“For you to say it a thirteenth time,” replied Kili. “Do not pretend Fee is the only one in this room with a boulder on his shoulder when it comes to Thorin.”  
Bofur scrubbed his face with a hand. “Fine. There is no denying Thorin and I have had our issues with each other. However, Thorin and I have also had frequent moments of understanding and respect among the discord and, as it happens, we’re currently at a truce. It is also no secret I’ve taken mighty big exceptions with how he treated Bee in the past. The thing about that is…well, Bee is the one it happened to and Kee was the one who lived through it the second worst of all of us. The two of you have managed to forgive him enough to allow him your most sacred acts of trust and it is not my place nor my business to interfere. As far as the jealousy goes…aye, there’s still some of that, if we’re honest, though much of it was centered around my feelings of inequality when it came to Bee’s affection. Bee has kissed some of it away since then. I’ll grant you, it is one thing to make my peace here in the Shire with merely the ghost of Thorin rattling around the place, whereas it may feel entirely different when we go to Erebor and Thorin is there in the flesh. All I can say is that I know it is part of the future and I’m ready to do my best to square with it when the time comes.”  
“I’ll do my best, too,” Fili said.  
Bilbo straightened up with a grin. “Right, then.”  
"Have we covered all the concerns?" asked Kili.  
"The immediate ones, at any rate," Fili said. "I'm sure there will be a wealth of new ones when we reach Erebor."  
Kili counted a couple on his fingers. "What stays secret, at the very least, which looks to be nearly everything. _How_ we keep it secret will be another one..."

Bofur noticed the mood suddenly dampening, showing most obviously in the rapidly diminishing joy on Bilbo's face. There would be time to strategize for Erebor later; he didn't want worst-case "what ifs" ruining their night when it was still weeks and weeks away.

Bringing them back to the main subject, Bofur asked Bilbo and Kili, “So, now that we’ve gone back to bed after our lengthy break, how did you two feel about it?”  
With a broad smile, Kili exhaled, “Like I had been starved for it!"  
“How about you, Bee?” Bo asked.  
Bilbo answered thoughtfully. “All I ever wanted was to put an end to the tears and the confusion. I wanted us to all want where we seemed to be headed and to know our individual desires. Much like Fee said a moment ago, I’ve honestly hated this break, too. Now that it has served its purpose, I’ll be glad to dissolve it entirely.”  
Bofur held up his cup. “Let’s drink to that.”  
“To the end of the abstinence,” Kili said, lifting his cup as well.  
“And to moving forward,” Bilbo added.  
Meaningfully, Fili added, “And to us.”

The four of them clinked and saluted their vessels, each taking a deep drink. 

*****

Bofur and Bilbo were asleep together, breathing deeply and snoring slightly. Decades of sleeping in the same bed told Kili that Fili wasn’t, though.

“Are you okay?” Kili asked softly, careful not to wake the other two.  
Fili answered just as quietly, “Yeah.”  
“You’re not asleep, though.”  
“Neither are you.” 

Kili had no response. 

A few moments later, Fili asked, “Are _you_ okay?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Good.”

A few more moments of silence passed.

“So…why aren’t you sleeping?” asked Kili.

Fili paused so long Kili thought he might not answer at all.

“Because you won’t let me,” he finally said.  
Rolling his eyes in the dark, Kili said, “That’s not true. You weren’t sleeping before that, either.”  
“I meant the you in my mind.”  
“Oh,” Kili exhaled. “Why won’t I let you?”  
“You—we—I…I’m not sure how to put it.”  
“Did I go too far? Earlier, I mean, with your mouth. Did I get too carried away?”  
“No.” Fili stopped himself from shouting it, mindful of his volume. “No, it was more…I was wondering why you held back.”  
“It didn’t feel like I held back.”  
“Not with _that_. Before our break, you had said you wanted to feel more than just the inside of my mouth, yet you…didn’t. You didn't even try.”  
“Oh. _Oh._ I was scared it might be too much for you if I pushed for that too soon. I did not want you to run from me or make you uncomfortable.”

Fili leaned in with his mouth close enough to Kili’s ear that Kili could feel his breath.

“The clarity I gained on my wedding night, it wasn’t just about Bo. It was about myself. The fear I thought was protecting me all this time wasn’t serving me at all—not with you, not with Bo, not with Bee. Being afraid only managed to keep me from doing what I truly wanted.”  
“So you wanted what we did? Liked it?”  
“Kee, it was…it was wonderful,” Fili sighed adoringly. “ _You_ were wonderful. I've been worried you might have been disappointed with me, or perhaps had changed your mind about how far you wanted to go.”  
“It was beyond my imagination, Fee. I’m not disappointed, not by a long road, and I've certainly not changed my mind."  
“Then why are _you_ still awake?”

Bilbo suddenly snuffled and shifted. Kili and Fili both stayed quiet and still to see if they had woken him. His breathing soon evened out again, and Bofur had never stopped his faint snore to begin with. Satisfied they weren’t disturbing the others, Kili answered.

“Because I was worried it had been too much for you. Doing that. To me. Letting me give it to you like that.”  
Fili smiled, wistful and fond. “Aren’t we something, then? We both loved it, yet we're both awake and fretting about the other."  
“Yeah,” Kili answered, yawning.  
Fili kissed his head. “Now that we know better, we should try to sleep, Kee.”

Kili snuggled in tighter. With his mind no longer racing about Fili’s potential reticence or regret, his drowsiness had hit him full force. 

He murmured, “Mmmm, ‘kay. Talk more t’morrow?”  
“You bet.”  
“Night, Fee.”  
“Night.”  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone!


	51. Constantly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after in Bag End.

Morning came and life in Bag End continued. Someone hanging on the bell pulled them out of bed before any fun could be had. After that, they figured they might as well have breakfast while they were up and about.

Minus a meaningful glance or two early on, Fili and Kili were back to being brothers, aggravating each other and wagering over who was going to have to do dishes based on who got through their stack of pancakes first (Kili). Other chores needed doing, too, and—somehow, despite the momentous night before—it turned out to be simply a regular morning. 

****

Done with his share of the housework and it not yet time to start preparing elvensies, Kili sat down in the parlor with a book. He had been working his way through Bag End’s bookshelves and Bilbo told him this particular novel was a favorite. It did not take him long to figure out why and he quite lost track of time.

****

Kili was pulled from his other world by the thud of the front door. He paused to listen if it was an arrival or a departure, noticing the house was unusually quiet. Departure, then. Before he could wonder much about the whys and the wherefors, Fili entered the room.

“Who left?” Kili asked.  
“I’ve sent Bo and Bee on an errand.”

The unexpected answer spurred Kili to really look at Fili. His hands were clasped in front of him and, though he had a soft expression on his face, there was something in his eyes Kili could not quite identify. He was quite curious as to where Fili would have needed them to go and asked as much.

Approaching Kili, Fili gently took the book from him, considerately keeping his place. He set it to the side and took Kili’s hands in his. 

“They could be anywhere doing anything. It was not the destination I requested. It was the time alone with you.”  
Kili blinked up at him. “Are you okay?”

With a small tug, Fili hinted for Kili to stand. Eye to eye, Fili spoke again.

“I am okay. I would like for you to follow me, though, if you please.”

Chest fluttering, Kili allowed Fili to lead him down the hall and, quite oddly, to the bathing room. A bath was waiting, the faintness of steam above it revealing it had been newly caught. 

“Kee, there are things I wish to express to you, things I thought might be best shared this particular time without distraction.”

As if to punctuate his point, Fili pulled his own tunic off and dropped it on the floor. 

Kili swallowed hard, breathing shallowly while his body thrummed with arousal. He fancied he could even feel it in the hair on his arms. 

“What might require such privacy?” he asked.

Fili unlaced his trousers, taking them off and tossing them aside. Fully nude, he walked up close to Kili, his bare chest brushing the fabric of Kili’s shirt. 

“In light of last night’s conversation, and in the interest of preventing further misunderstanding, I have a request for you.”

Chest fluttering again, Kili tried to keep himself together—a valiant effort with the heat of Fili’s naked body warming him in places he wasn’t even touching. 

“And that is?” Kili asked hoarsely. 

Closing his eyes for a moment to gather his bravery, Fili opened them again. 

“First, I want you to bathe me and make me clean...everywhere.”  
Kili’s heart thudded rapidly. “And then?”

Finally, Fili reached out to touch him with his hands. One snaked around Kili’s shoulder; the other held his face. 

“Kili,” Fili said, voice deep and sensual. “Will you touch me inside? I want to feel you.”

The question alone sent tiny, thrilling shocks skittering through Kili’s body. 

“Yes,” he breathed.

Grabbing the hem of Kili’s shirt, Fili pulled it up and off. Kili beat his hands to his trousers, though. Once naked, Kili reached out and combed his fingers through the loose waves by Fili’s face. 

“Is…is this why you have not bothered to rebraid your hair yet?” Kili asked.  
“You noticed.”  
“It was one of the first things I noticed when we arrived home yesterday. I wasn’t sure if it meant--well, that is to say, I did not think it would lead to last night, but it gave me the tingles all the same. Does this…does this mean you will allow me to wash it?”  
Fili held his gaze. “Allow? It means I’m asking you, requesting of you, hoping you will please consent to washing it.”  
Kili quirked a shy smile. “How about that? Last night’s tingles are back. Does this also mean you wish to wash mine?”  
“Very much so.”

Kili helped Fili step into the tub first, following after. Unable to resist any longer, Kili wrapped his arms around Fili and claimed his mouth. When they parted, he and Fili both dipped back into the water to wet their hair. 

Kili set to soaping Fili’s hair, prick twitching every time Fili sensually moaned at his touch. He could scarcely believe they were doing this together and it wound his anticipation ever more tightly. 

After Fili was rinsed, it was Kili’s turn. 

“We used to do this all the time, remember?” asked Fili, a wave of nostalgia unexpectedly washing over him, momentarily tempering his lust.  
Grinning wide, Kili answered, “Yeah, I do. I also remember when we reached a certain age and Mam said the hair washing wasn’t proper anymore.”  
“And you asked her, ‘why?’ and she said it was something that grownups did only with the most special person in their lives.”  
“Isn’t it odd that I can still hear it so clearly in my head?" Kili mused.  
“It is clear for me, too--I could almost close my eyes and watch the memory like a play."  
"I remember I said, ‘Fee is my most special person.’”  
"And she told you, ‘No, love, I mean your Chosen…’” 

Fili stilled his hands in Kili’s hair for a moment as he considered the exchange from decades ago in light of the events of the past months.

”…and you said, ‘Can’t I just choose Fee?’”  
“Then she got really quiet like she did whenever we did something too twin-like or familiar.”  
“Right. She mumbled something about how it didn’t work that way.”  
“I wonder…” Kili trailed off.  
“What?”  
“I wonder how much of a surprise this really would be to Mam and Thorin. I look back on memories like that, recall how weird they would get, count the times they tried to separate us-“  
“-Not to mention how futile those efforts always were.”  
“Yeah…”

It was time for Kili to rinse. 

“You know,” Kili said in between rinses, “Now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t think we’ve actually bathed together since before the battle…though we did stop washing each other’s hair after Mam’s talk.”  
“Well, mostly. I think we snuck in a couple more before she got adamant about it.”  
Kili grinned, dipping back again. “Yeah. You know, we should see about Bee putting in a bigger tub for all of us, something like Beorn’s, after we get back from Erebor.”  
“I don’t know, Kee. To even begin, he’d have to hire someone to excavate more into the hill to make room, to say nothing of the tearing into the floor to get to the plumbing. I mean, this is his father’s home, a gift to his beloved mother. I can’t imagine him being open to changing it so drastically.”  
Squeezing the last rinse of water through his hair, Kili said, “I hadn’t thought about it like that. Thank you. You probably saved me from accidentally upsetting him.”

Fili looked at Kili—musing that this was one of the few times Kili’s fringe wasn’t against his forehead—and smoothed his hand over the top of Kili’s’ wet head, smiling affectionately. 

The air between them changed. 

They stared at each other, an occasional drip of water trickling down their temples. 

“What is happening, Fee?” Kili whispered.  
Fili shook his head minutely. “I don’t know. I think maybe...maybe something we might have been meant for and never knew. Maybe something long overdue.” 

They drew together in a slow, burning kiss. 

Soaping up a flannel, Kili started in by washing Fili’s chest. Fili could see his hand trembling and his arousal stirred anew. Eventually, Kili dipped below Fili’s waist, straining bodily against him to reach an arm around to his backside. 

Kili pressed his slightly open mouth to Fili’s throat as his gently stroked the flannel down his cleft. He felt Fili’s reaction against his lips. After three slow passes back and forth, Kili dropped the flannel and stroked again with two of his fingers.

“Yes, Kee,” Fili moaned under his mouth. “Do it.”  
“Not yet,” he replied, kissing across his collarbone.

Kili leaned over, fishing around in the water until he found the flannel. He used it to wipe the soap from Fili’s chest and back. Loading it again, he handed it to Fili.

“You have to clean me, too.”

Fili felt the resulting bolt of desire from his throat to his stones. He did as he was requested, though it was nothing like a chore. Indeed, he drank in every heady, erotic moment of the experience. Kili’s quiet whimpers when Fili spread his legs to wash him intimately were almost too much to bear. 

After a final rinse for the two of them, they left the bath and dried each other off. Though they said nearly nothing, every look they exchanged smoldered with want. 

Fili took Kili’s hand and once again led him. This time, he brought him to the master bedroom, making Kili’s stomach flutter wildly once again. 

Fili reached under the pillow where he had hidden a small bottle of oil and offered it to Kili, who took it.

“No dish?” Kili asked.  
Shaking his head, Fili said, “Too far away for what I want.”

Noting it again--that delightful feeling in his middles--Kili urged Fili back on the bed, already kissing him deeply before his head even hit the pillow. Kili rubbed against him as they kissed, much as Fili had done the night before, and adored how it brought forth tiny noises of pleasured need from both of them. He scrabbled around, feeling for the bottle, only breaking their passionate embrace when he needed to get it open. 

Fili licked his lips in anticipation as he watched Kili open the bottle and slick his fingers. The bottle rolled against Fili’s hip when Kili set it aside, and even the cold glass sent luscious tingles through him. 

“Tell me again, Kee. Tell me what you want, what you’re going to do.”

Dropping his forehead to Fili’s, Kili reached between Fili’s already-spread legs.

“I want to be inside you.,” he said, duskily. “I’m going to feel you, going to make you feel me.”  
“Yes,” whispered Fili. “Make me feel you.” 

Fili felt Kili press against him, felt himself taking him in. He quivered, marveling at both the touch as well as the accompanying ripple in his blood. This was how he felt when Bofur had his cock inside him, that glorious connection, the pre-imprint buzz in his veins. A mere digit shouldn’t make him feel this, but then again, he should also not be able to feel the bond tremble from the other things he did with Kili, either--yet it did. This feeling, this surrender of the part most intimate to him—the loss of control over this thing between them was what he had feared before his wedding night. Now, Fili reveled in it. Kili gazed into his eyes as he spread him slowly, both of them breathing shallow while their hearts pounded. Suddenly, it was not enough.

“Kee, I want to feel more,” Fili said. 

Having thought he wanted another digit, Kili wrinkled his nose in confusion as Fili clasped his wrist and nudged him away. Fili turned himself around, face towards feet, urging Kili to roll on his side. Though still confused, Kili couldn’t help but giggle at finding himself suddenly face to face with Fili’s erection—though it turned to a moan as Fili nuzzled his cock. Fili’s warm breath teased against him when he spoke again.

“I want to feel you penetrate me, both ends. I want you to know and to feel how willing I am. I told you, Kee, I’m not afraid anymore. If I’m to be overwhelmed by this, then let’s not hold back. I want you to utterly vanquish me.” Fili swirled his tongue around Kili’s tip. “Touch me, please. I’m far too empty of you.” 

Unable to resist, Kili wrapped his arm around Fili’s hip and slipped back inside. Scarcely a beat later, his own cock was engulfed by the wet heat of Fili’s mouth. Blinking fast and breathing shallowly, Kili leaned his head against the inside of Fili’s thigh and struggled to gather himself. 

It felt incredible to Fili, being filled by Kili like this. How had he ever feared such rapture between them? Such closeness? In addition, the _sounds_ Kili made as Fili took him in from both ends were thrilling. Fili wanted to hear more of them. He felt around for the bottle he knew was close. Finding it, he pulled away to speak. 

“You’re too irresistible like this for me to ignore your arse. Please Kee…please say I can touch.”  
“Yes,” moaned Kili. “Touch.” 

When Fili breached him, Kili’s eyes flew wide open and he sucked in a breath. For a moment, he stopped moving inside Fili simply to _feel_ what was being done to him. A few shaky breaths later, he decided he also wanted more, wanted to feel as full as Fili felt, filling and being filled at the same time. Tonguing along the shaft to wet it first, Kili wrapped his lips around Fili’s cock. 

Despite so much going on, both inwardly and outwardly, Fili spent a long moment simply marveling at how Kili handled him. Kili was deliberate in giving Fili pleasure, yet his touch was also gentle and reverent. Fili felt him withdraw and return, each time adding more oil and more girth to wrap around. At three fingers inward (and a simultaneous and _purposeful_ change in Kili’s oral technique), Fili found he could not hold much more of a thought about anything. The only thing he wanted was to give as much ecstasy as he was getting. Redoubling his efforts while groaning around Kili’s prick, Fili let himself be gloriously, beautifully overwhelmed. 

Kili wanted this to go on for hours, though he was already shocked he and Fili had made it this long as it was. He felt the change--in Fili’s body wrapped around his fingers, in the wrecked moans vibrating his cock, in the quaking against him—and knew Fili was nearing the finish just as he was. Fili must have sensed it, too, as they both started ruthlessly working each other, working _into_ each other, at the same time. Kili removed a finger, leaving the two to maneuver Fili’s sweet spot in a way three never quite managed. 

The pleasure grew so intense, Fili had to pull his lips from Kili’s prick to gasp for air. He clutched him by the thigh with one arm, fingers of the other hand still buried in his arse, and keened. He had hoped they could come at the same time, but the dizzying rapture proved too much. Chanting Kili’s name (and with one final cry of it), Fili pulsed down Kili’s throat. He held onto Kili’s thigh until the aftershocks slowed, Kili tenderly withdrew his fingers, and the weight of Kili’s head rested against his own leg. Kili’s cock—as hard as ever—now had beads of moisture at the tip, readying to spill over. Seeing the physical evidence of how much his orgasm aroused Kili exhilarated Fili. He licked the tip clean , sucking the length in after. 

Still feeling the surge in his blood from Fili’s climax, Kili choked on a moan when those lips wrapped around him again. Fili sucked him expertly, fingers moving in tandem, and there was no mistaking Fili had a single, filthy goal in mind. Knowing Fili was using all his skill so that Kili would come in his mouth as soon as possible only hastened him towards that goal. He wrapped his arms around Fili’s waist, his softening cock against Kili’s cheek as Kili grunted and rasped obscene encouragement. 

“Fuck, I’m coming. I’m _coming_ ,” he wailed. 

Fili drank it down as though it were wine…and it might as well have been, for the rush that now tore through his body. Kili’s tightness and pulse against his fingers, the taste of him on his tongue, that feeling flowing through his veins…it was intoxicating. Once he was sure Kili was ready for him to let go, Fili righted himself on the bed. Before he could reach out for Kili, Kili reached for him. They held each other in the soft daylight.

“I don’t know how this is possible, Fee. Every time--and this time more, somehow—I feel your bond inside me.”

“Strong as if you had marked me inside,” Fili agreed. “I’ve felt degrees of it since that first time we played, growing stronger as we went. Yesterday was the strongest I’ve felt it, though…until today.”

“I think because you let me penetrate you yesterday, and moreso today. I’ve been feeling it strongly since the first time you made me come.”

Fili frowned, remembering how that session consisted of things Thorin had done to Kee first. 

“Did you feel a bond when Thorin did the things I did to you that night?”  
Taking a deep breath, Kili spoke carefully. “I felt something with Thorin when he touched me inside, something down-reaching, something that made me more attached and attracted to him. I imagine it is the same thing you felt with Bee when you let him in, the thing he no doubt feels with you and Bo. I can’t help but conclude when someone we care for breaches us in some way—mouth, fingers--well…perhaps it isn’t the visceral attachment of a bond, but _something_ happens.”  
“Did Thorin come in your mouth, too?” Fili asked quietly.  
“I’ve told you before that he didn’t. I’ve—Mahal, I can’t believe I’m talking about this with you—I’ve tasted him, but I’ve not had his cock inside me, I didn’t use my mouth to bring him there.”  
“But the sexual contact you did have, it changed you?”  
“How could it not? To intimately taste, feel, touch, and be touched…yes, there is something there for him now, something that did not exist before we went to bed, before he invaded me with my breathless permission-“  
“Don’t want to hear about that,” grumbled Fili.  
“BUT,” Kili said more forcefully, “But I feel it, a full bond with you, the like of which I have only ever felt with Bee--and then only after he had marked me fully as his. You must know it, we’ve felt hints of it under our skin for decades, never realizing its true nature until it roared to life when we crossed the forbidden line.”  
“I do know it. I suppose I just want to hear you say it, over and over again. The reassurance that it is real, that you feel it too. I could do without the Thorin bits, though.” 

Kili rolled on his side, resting his head on his hand, looking at him.

“First off, we talked about this. Thorin was and will continue to be my lover. He is going to please me and I’m going to please him. I’m not going to pretend it is a chore or that I do not want it. I do, Fee. I feel my face growing hot even now because I know it is against everything we’ve ever been taught, but the shame does nothing to soften my prick. Sometimes I think it might make it harder. Secondly, you say you don’t want to know, but you do. You don’t _like_ that you want to know, but that doesn’t change your desire to hear it. Perhaps the same shame makes you stiff, too, or perhaps you like the challenge of re-doing the things he does to me, doing it better, or doing it knowing I’ll feel your bond inside me each and every time in a way Thorin can’t give me. You like that you and I do things he isn’t allowed, that I’ll pull your orgasm from you with my mouth, that I’ll drink it straight from your cock, and that I’ll doubtlessly feel your bond in my veins the whole time. You hate hearing that I want him, but you also hate how much you love what it does to you. Your cock is stiff from hearing it.”

Fili glanced down. Kili was right. He was hardening again. 

More gently, Kili said, ‘Not long ago, you said you knew me as well as you knew yourself. Do you expect no less from me?”  
“Kee…”  
“You and Thorin are different, Fee. Though we’re all probably damned by our ancestors for the things we do--and would be cursed by our living relatives if they ever found out,--what I get from you, what I _need_ from you…I can’t describe how they are different, they just are. What you feel for me, for Bo, for Bee—it is all different, isn’t it? You want us--and the Maker knows you come with us--but the fulfillment is not the same from each of us.”  
“I-I don’t know. It _is_ different, what I get from you, Bo, and Bee, I suppose, but still quite profound. Being with the three of you, trying to reconcile the way I feel with how we were raised, trying to reconcile how Thorin fits into it with you by having a blood relation but not our bond…it makes my head swim, Kee.”  
“We’re built and threaded together in a way I don’t yet understand. The things we think and feel aren’t as we’ve been told they should be and with each wall we break down, we discover new things to feel and think, too. I wasn’t supposed to kiss you, but I did. Then I wasn’t supposed to want you, but it felt too strong to ignore. I wasn’t supposed to touch you but I did and now I want you all the time. I want you to touch me and Bee and Bo and I want Thorin in my bed, too, and…fuck, Fee. Who knows? We’ve been coded our whole lives that more than one love for a dwarf is an aberration, that brothers bedding brothers is an abomination, yet it feels so right and so magnificent. What makes us different?”

Kili sat up, continuing. 

”You, me, Thorin…we could claim it was some anomaly in our Durin blood that links our unusual desire for each other with the propensity to take multiple lovers, but then what of Bo, who hasn’t a drop? How do we explain that he is deeply in life-long love with more than one person, that he also isn’t ashamed that you and I want each other despite being brothers, and that a matter of fact he actively gets off on when we do? And what of someone like Dwalin, who is of the same blood as we are yet is wholly disapproving and disgusted of even the little bit he knows of me and Thorin, which is laughably tame in comparison to the truth?”  
“Dwalin isn’t entirely disapproving,” Fili muttered.  
“What?”  
“I said Dwalin isn’t as disapproving as he wants you to think he is. He has been in love with Mam forever. He is marrying her. She is his cousin and he does not care--nor has he ever cared.”  
“We’ve always been told cousins of that distance were different.”  
“Why, though? For childbirth, sure, the scientists figured it out long ago, but what of the homosexual couples? Why is there an arbitrary line drawn allowing dwarrows with a particular distance between cousins while everything beyond that is considered perverse?”  
“I’d…I’d not thought of that.”  
“I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Dwalin has _no right_ to be rude to you when he is marrying his own cousin, distant or not.” 

****

Bilbo and Bofur returned from the market, hoping their errand ran long enough. Kili told them why he wanted some time alone with Fili and it was quite difficult to stay away, knowing what erotic thrills were naked in the master bedroom the whole time. Only the bone-chilling cold outside (and no privacy when they were indoors elsewhere) kept them from doing something about it for themselves while they were gone.

Putting down their bundles, they could not help but make straight for the bedroom. Kili and Fili were there, undisappointingly naked, Kili stroking Fili’s cock torturously slow while speaking filth to him. 

“Did we return too soon?” Bilbo asked.  
“No,” Kili replied, grinning devilishly. “We’ve just started up again. In fact, we were talking this very moment about how much we would love company, weren’t we Fee?”

Fili whimpered in the affirmative, his head falling back on the pillow. 

“Say no more,” Bofur said, already sitting to remove his boots. 

With no boots on his furred feet to slow him, Bilbo met them on the bed with an obscene kiss for each. 

“Are we teasing?” Bilbo asked, nodding towards Fili.  
Kili nodded. “We are.”

Bilbo licked a finger, testing around Fili’s arsehole. 

“Oh! I see you’re already slicked.”

He shot a knowing look at Kili who returned it with an expression of pride. Spying the bottle of oil, Bilbo helped himself to some. 

“Perhaps Fee would like it if you’d join me inside?” Bilbo said, offering a tip of the bottle to Kili. 

He stole a quick glance at Fili to verify he hadn’t misread the new development between the brothers. Fili’s answering glance told him he hadn’t. 

Though Kili had released Fili’s cock, Fili’s eyes grew wide and he gurgled a sound of pleasure as Bilbo and Kili each pushed a digit within him. 

Finally bootless, Bofur said, “It is not fair to start without me! I had the most clothes to shed!”

Joining them on the bed, Bofur regarded Fili in his dirty predicament.

“Hmmm,” he drawled. “Will you look at this pretty little thing? Do I suck his cock or do I choke him with mine, I wonder?”

Subconsciously, Fili licked his lips. Bofur needed no additional invitation. 

****

Bofur had Fili backwards off the bed, practically upside down. Fili’s shoulders bore his weight and his head fully rested on the floor while Bofur sat on the edge of the bed, fucking him quite ungently. Fili splayed his legs out and Bofur held them as he thrust into him.

“Stroke yourself,” Bofur commanded. “I want you to come on your own lovely face.”

Fili grasped for himself, groaning. 

“You love it, too, coming on yourself, us coming on you. You would bathe in it if you could, wouldn’t you?”  
“Yes!” 

Having already finished once with Bilbo, Kili joined Fili on the floor, bottle in hand. 

“Let me help you with that,” he told Fili.

Kili wanked him, slick and fast, pulling a shout from Fili with a shock of pleasure. 

“Come on yourself, Fee. I want to see it,” Kili purred.

Figuring Fili to be close, Kili leaned into the line of eventual release as close as he could.

“Durin’s bloody axe,” Fili cursed, realizing what Kili was up to.

It was enough to make him come, spilling on Fili’s body and both of their faces. Kili flopped next to Fili and tongued into his mouth, tasting Fili on both their lips. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe I just watched that with my own eyes,” Bofur grunted. “I’m right behind you. Do you want it, lads? Be quick!”  
Kili and Fili both panted, “Yes!”

Bofur pulled out of Fili’s hole and pumped himself frantically, standing and leaning over to get a better target. He came in ribbon after filthy ribbon, making sure every drop landed on either Kili or Fili. He joined them on the floor, the three of them kissing and licking each other like they needed the substance to live.

Bilbo, still wickedly hard, climbed onto the floor, too. Hovering on his knees above where the others kissed, he stroked himself. 

Fili opened his eyes, drinking in the sight of Bilbo with an erotic moan. 

“Bee, what are you up to?”  
“Something you taught me. Keep kissing.”

Fili did, licking and kissing the others. Hearing Bilbo’s tell-tale whines, he pushed his tongue out further, just in time to catch the first spurt. The others moaned, lapping at the new drops. Bilbo fell forward, joining their kiss—a mere mass of tongues at this point—until Fili finally couldn’t take the strain on his neck anymore and called for mercy. 

“Well then,” Bofur said, helping Fili stand up. “I’m guessing you and Kee had a good talk?”

The four of them laughed at the obvious understatement. 

More seriously, Bofur pulled Kili close, cradling the back of his neck and touching his forehead to Kili’s. 

“Things got a little…heated between us,” Bofur murmured. “Are you okay with what happened?”  
“I asked for it, if I recall.”  
“Aye, you did,” Bofur said, smiling. “I suppose I’m just checking you’ve no regrets.”  
“Regrets? No. In the wake of that, I think I’d describe what I’m feeling as anticipation, actually.”  
“Good.”

They shared the languorous kiss of the recently sated, but Kili could taste the promise on Bofur’s lips. He made sure to leave one of his own with a subtle swipe of his tongue. 

*****

Much later that evening, it had been decided wordlessly that the couples would split off for bed. They all considered perhaps some conversation might be needed…along with some sleep and general physical recuperation.

*****

“You know I didn’t ask Fee to send you out of the house,” Kili said, holding Bilbo close.  
“I know, and it made me all the more happy to leave you two to it, knowing he was going to surprise you.”

Kili rolled Bilbo with him so Bilbo was on top of him, peering down. He leaned forward to nuzzle his nose. 

”You still…are you okay with this? With Fee and me being intimate? Intimate and _alone_?”  
“I left to give you the space to do it, didn’t I? And came home with an aching erection to boot!”  
Kili quirked the corner of his mouth in mild embarrassment. “I just—I know how important it had been to you, back before, that you were the only one who touched me, the only one who got me off, and the only one bonded with me. Everything with Fee was so unexpected, discovering we were imprinted without ever having made love, then with us exploring each other and trying to figure out what it all means…I feel like we keep changing the rules for me and I don’t want you to be hurt in the process. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you a thousand more times if need be: You’re my Chosen. We do this together or we don’t do it at all.”

“Kee, dear heart, gorgeous love of my life—we are changing the rules because we are both growing and learning. I did jealousy protect what we had together until I realized the only way I would lose it is by throwing it away myself. Besides, if we’re going to split hairs about first bonds, I think Fili has me beat by almost eight decades. It only just became sexual, granted, but if I understand rightly, you’ve been carrying whatever it was since birth. We’ve changed the rules for me, too, you know, and before spring is out, it might possibly come to pass that I will carry yet another in my blood, too.”

A delightful thrill shimmed down Bilbo’s spine and settled in his stones. 

“Thank you,” Kili said. Bilbo cleared his throat. “So, do I get naughty details or were these explorations too sacred to share?” This time, Kili rolled them over so he had Bilbo pinned and kissed him lustily.

“How about I take you through it, step by step, demonstrating it on you _explicitly_?” 

*****

“Well?” Fili said.

Bofur stripped off his last piece of clothing and joined him on the bed. 

“Well what?”  
“I know you’re dying to ask!”  
“Of course I am, but this was a big deal for you. As much as I want to know, I wanted to give you room not to tell me.”  
“As though I wouldn’t,” Fili scoffed…though he shot Bofur an adoring look immediately after. “It is only a matter of narrowing down my thoughts into words.”  
“Perhaps we can ease into it by starting with me, then.”  
Fili’s brow knit in confusion. “You?”  
“Other than a few steamy kisses and an errant touch here or there, I’ve not done much with Kee until today.”  
“By my estimation, you still haven’t done much with him, even after today,” chuckled Fili.  
“I _came on his face_ , Fee,” Bofur insisted meaningfully. “He licked my spend from your lips, even as other strands of it painted his cheek and dripped off his chin. That’s…that’s pretty intimate to me.”  
“I suppose when you look at it like that…” Fili trailed off. “So what do you need to talk about?”  
Bofur shrugged. “How it was for you as my husband, as his brother, as his brand-new lover—was it difficult for you? Exciting for you? I don’t want to push either of you--or Bee for that matter--past the point of comfort. Kee said being defiled so had not troubled him, which has eased my mind considerably, but I’d like to hear from you.”  
Fili shook his head, smiling fondly. “Oh, Bo. No difficulty, save maybe the cramp in my neck. Was it exciting? Incredibly. I had no issues with that in any capacity either of you hold with me. What about you, though? I know you’ve grown quite sexually curious about him as of late. Was it too far for _you_?”  
“I think,” Bofur licked his lips thoughtfully. “I think I would like to try a little bit more.”  
“I’ve always wondered why you two shied away from each other.”  
“I’m starting to wonder why myself. Well, now that I’ve delved into the subject of things I’ve gotten up to today…” lead Bofur.

Fili hummed noncommittally, teasing as if he didn’t know what Bofur was getting at, though also quite ready to talk about it…even if it meant admitting he was wrong.

Bofur wasn’t having Fee’s coquetting. He crossed his arms. 

“So?” Fili shrugged, a bit sheepish. “So the world didn’t end, just like you said it wouldn’t. The furthest thing from, actually. I let him have both my mouth and my arse at the same time, and I simultaneously had his, too. It was exhilarating, Bo. We were full of each other, we came on each other’s very tongues, and--by Durin’s Beard—I can honestly say I have been a bloody fool for far too long…or again, if you’d prefer. You would have thought after the whole thing with you at Beorn’s I would have learned to not be so afraid of letting myself go. Both times now—three times if you count Bee, though I was more cavalier about that in my ignorance—I’ve allowed myself to be vulnerable and the loss of control has spun me out into a world of astonishing pleasure. How did I fool myself twice into thinking it could have been otherwise?”

“Fear is powerful, Fee. I honestly believe to my bones that your witnessing the first dissolution of Thorin’s engagement scarred you every bit as much as it scarred him and Bee. Aye, the truth of the matter is that although we do have this capacity to nigh destroy each other with this intimate connection, we also have the power to bring each other boundless joy, to bestow upon ourselves magnificent nights of pleasure the likes of which we had never fathomed before we met.”

“I’m realizing that now, though I bought it with the hurt feelings of the ones I love most. I swear this to you, Bo: I will never let that fear rule me again. I will not shrink from intimacy. Instead, I’ll embrace the intensity that it brings and let It teach me.”

Long since fully aroused, Bofur kissed him deeply. 

He said, “It taught me things about my heart and my body I forgot I never knew.”  
“I want to remind you again,” Fili said breathlessly.  
“Constantly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much! We have a little longer to go to catch Bag End up to Erebor's timeline and then we'll swing back over to peek in on Thorin.


	52. Just Be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slice of life (...and cake...and pie...) in Bag End now that the biggest issues have been put to, erm, bed.

The next several days and nights were joyous in Bag End like none so many in a row had been since the autumn. Although there had been no more private sessions between mixed couples, nor had Bofur and Kili pushed for furthering their experiences together beyond a handful of heated kisses and soft caresses, none of these things were due to restriction or worry. Things simply _were_ and the quartet were so happy to be back to it (with the old nagging worries resolved), they could conjure few complaints. Warm food, warm beds, and warm bodies were shared, the winter chill not making a speck of difference to Bilbo, Bofur, Fili, and Kili.

 

*****

Rorimac answered his door to find a youngish hobbit lass (not more than twenty), one of the Butterbottoms’ many offspring, and he was quite embarrassed he did not recall her name. Lucky for him, she thrust a bundle of letters towards him and spoke.

“Master Took, I was bidden to give you these. A messenger came through yesterday, not knowing how to find you. He was a Man, and my cousin was loath to tell him exactly where you dwelt. Instead, he told him his cousin was your neighbor, sort of, and that’s how I came to hold it.”

Rorimac glanced down, heart racing immediately. There was little doubt what manner messenger of Man would come to their community bearing a bundle of letters, one with his name.

“Well, that’s mighty fine, then. Thank you for bringing these for me. Would you like a slice of cake for your trouble? You can have one for your cousin, too, for looking out. Pound cake is all I have in, but I’m happy to share it with you for bringing me this.”  
She curtseyed and said, “Thank you but there is no need.”

Rorimac could tell from her expression and fidgeting that although her manners might dictate she turn down the cake, she would very much like to take home that slice.

Conspiratorially, he said, “Between you and me, I can’t finish that pound cake alone and I would hate for it to go off without someone enjoying it. You truly would be doing me such a favor if you would take the rest of it completely off my hands. You and your cousin sharing it would be better than it drying out in my pantry, wouldn’t it?”

Her eyes lit up and Rorimac was pleased to have guessed rightly.

“Well, if it will be doing you a favor…”  
“The biggest! Come on in for a moment, if you have the time, and I’ll fix it for carrying.”

As quickly as he could, he wrapped up the cake and sent it on with the Butterbottom lass. With her happily on her way to her cousin's, he sat down with the letter.

Taking a deep breath, he worked it open and prepared to read his fate.

_"Dearest Rorimac,_

_You flatter and you tease with your words, but they fill me with warmth. Knowing you care for my inner self as well as my flesh means a great deal to me. There is more to say to you, but a letter is no place for it. I need you to be able to see my eyes, and I need to see yours, before we decide what happens next. It seems to me you've decided already, though. I will not lie--I am moved you have read the pages of my soul and found it worthy._

_You have not only my leave but my welcome acceptance to accompany me to the wedding. Should it please Bilbo, Bofur, and the rest of the traveling party, I shall await you this Spring in Rivendell. I look forward to continuing this discussion."_

_Yours,_  
_Bifur_

 

Bilbo. Rorimac needed to speak to Bilbo.

He decided to invite him to tea the next day to hopefully make arrangements to join the rest on their journey. He thought he should also invite Bofur in particular, as Bifur had written him too.

 

*****

Since the passing of his parents, Bilbo hadn’t liked Shire winters much. The house had always been too quiet and often chilly, as Bilbo had rarely lit all the fires just for himself. Now Bag End was filled with laughter and deep voices, with large dinners that took all day for the four of them to cook, with ale and song and whistles and fiddles. It reminded Bilbo of all the best parts of being at Beorn's.

They had all agreed many times since leaving his home how they had missed Beorn--such a lovely host that first tentative winter they were all together once their quest was done--though in Hobbiton he often had many willing stand-ins. Ori, Thodora, Chadham, and Rorimac all spent meals inside Bag End or leisure hours next to the hearth. Bilbo was glad they were close enough to visit with the harsh bite of winter in the air.

That particular evening--after a wonderful dinner with Kili, Bofur, and Fili—Bilbo reminisced and ruminated while the other three played a pretty dwarf song he did not know. He recalled how he had been so worried to leave Beorn’s, worried about leaving that cocoon, but Kili had been right. There had been yet more life to live beyond those loving walls. So much had happened in the months since they left...and so much was still happening.

Feeling hopeful and giddy with joy, Bilbo took a turn to sing a happy song. It was a song he had learned on the dancefloor of Brandybuck Hall long ago, and he encouraged the dwarrows to sing and play along. Fili picked out the changes first and helped Kili figure them out, and soon the two were fiddling away merrily. Bilbo didn’t want it to end, so he made up verses on the spot about them playing the song and about the décor of the room, making Kili giggle so hard he couldn’t hold his fiddle. After it was finished, they all laughed and cheered for each other.

“Well, I dare say,” Bilbo said brightly, “That a good time such as this is a great segue to dessert. Kee has whipped up a fine one, if I’m not mistaken!”  
Replied Kili, “Not quite as fine as Mrs. Cotton, not until Ori and I take our lesson with her this week, but it is certainly not going to last long!”

Bilbo bustled out of the room with Kili, his words floating back, “ _Kee, you know we love your sweets just as much as we love Mrs. Cotton’s…_ ”

Fili’s expression for the duration of the song and after had not been lost for a moment on Bofur. Fili had glowed, obviously utterly smitten.

“He’s something else, isn’t he? No wonder you love him,” Bofur said casually.  
Fili shrugged. “Sure. I’ve loved him since the day he was born.”  
“I’m not talking about Kee.”

Fee cast a sidelong glance at Bo.

“Well, um, of course I love Bee,” he replied. “He’s family now.”  
“You love him like I do.”

Fili now looked at him fully, half-surprised and half-afraid. Bofur smiled.

“Fee, did you think I wouldn’t see? As a wise dwarf once said, ‘I’m your bonded. I know what you look like in love.’”

Rolling in his lips, Fili took a breath, unsure what to say.

“It is okay, you know,” said Bofur. “How could it not be? You’ve been generous with my love for him. I would be quite a cad if I was not willing to consider it the other way.”  
“Just—it was, I…I didn’t expect it, then it started happening, then we had our separation of beds with them, and since our reunion…I had been too happy, too ready, too relieved…I wouldn’t have felt that way if it hadn’t been, hadn’t been _this_.”  
“Of course. We talked about it when we agreed, remember?”  
“You knew then? I wasn’t even sure I knew then!”  
Raising an eyebrow, Bofur said, “Oh no? What about that speech you gave where you said you wanted me, them, and us, no matter if it was considered unusual, forbidden, and so on. You said none of it mattered, that the only thing that mattered was the four of us together. That was a passionate declaration and I don’t know what implication could have been reached by me other than love…and you and I both know you weren’t only referring to Kee. Just as you gave me permission to touch Kee, just as we agreed Bilbo and Kee were not giving up Thorin…we agreed on a future together.”  
“Have I been so obvious?” Fili asked.  
“Perhaps to me, though I do not know what Kee or Bee might suspect. Knowing Bee, he won’t have it figured out until a week after you tell him.”

Fili hummed a laugh.

More seriously, Bofur said, “Fee, you _are_ going to tell him, right?”

They were interrupted by Kili’s shout floating out from the kitchen.

“Did you two think we were serving you pie in the parlor?” he joked. “Get your arses in here or I’m eating all the filling out of your pieces.”  
“I found wine that will be good with pie!” Bilbo added.  
“And Bee found wine that will be good with pie!” echoed Kili.

Laughing, Bofur led the way to the dining room. Distracted by the new round of silliness (and the promised addition of pie), he seemed to have forgotten he hadn’t gotten the answer to his question. Fili was quite relieved, because he hadn’t had an answer for him.

 

*****

The next day, Bilbo and Bofur had gone to visit Rorimac, who had gotten word from Bifur to share with them. Fili and Kili thought it could potentially be a matter needing more personal discussion and chose to stay home. The fact that staying home also meant not traipsing across Hobbiton in the cold wind had also had its appeal for the brothers. Instead, they sat around the dining table, working on munching their way through a whole seed cake and enjoying afternoon tea in a comfortable, warm Bag End.

“You know, when I am King of Erebor, I think I might have to make the official schedule of the King, court, and council revolve around hobbit meal times. I’ve grown quite fond of all this eating.”  
“You had better bring some hobbit cooks, too.”  
“You think the dwarrows wouldn’t be able to handle it?”  
“Oh, I’m sure they could, but describing all our favorites is one thing; having them properly taught or made by actual hobbits is quite another,” Kili said.  
“When you have a point, you have a point!”

Fili reached over for the teapot, warming his cup. He cleared his throat.

“Now that you’re not too shy to give the details, what was your first sexual encounter with Bee?”  
Kili nearly choked on his cake. “Where did that come from?”  
“I don’t know. I was thinking in bed last night about it when we all settled in for sleep. I figured there was no point in being coy now that we’re doing some of those very things to each other…and you know I love these sorts of secrets.”  
“Could it be considered gossip when you just want to know for yourself?” Kili teased him. “Very well. I suppose it was the first time I kissed him, when he told me how hobbits make love.”  
“I thought you two didn’t get very far that day.”  
“Well, no…but it was the most sexual I had ever been up to that point. I count it. You’re meaning like the first time we got off together, though? I thought I told you about that. It was that day Bilbo managed to get the baths open.”  
“You said you two were intimate. You didn’t say what you did.”  
“It is almost funny, now, how much you and I both wanted to talk about things but how shy we were to actually name them. Remember that day I confessed to licking Bee’s arsehole? I couldn’t even say it out loud. I had to whisper, like when we were dwarflings. That conversation seems like a million years ago, now.”  
“And still almost like yesterday.”  
“Also true.”

Fili kept looking at Kili pointedly.

“Oh! You’re waiting for me to continue.”  
“Unless you don’t want to. You know mine with Bo.”  
Kili grinned. “At Beorn’s.”  
“We wanked each other off the second night he was there.”  
“I’m surprised it took two nights.”  
“We were taking it slow,” Fili replied dryly.  
Kili burst into laughter. “Not as slow as me and Bee. He hadn’t even unlaced my trousers until that day in the mountain. We sucked each other off in one of the rooms behind the Great Chamber at some point in between Bee running around trying to get us baths and beds.”  
“Sucking each other off? In the middle of the day? That was foolishly bold! There would have been no way to talk yourself out of that one if you were caught, and it would have been much easier to get caught in the first place.”  
“Well, not that day. Not exactly,” Kili said, smiling mischievously.  
“Oh, I know that grin. Kee’s got a secret. Tell!”  
“Bee used his ring and went invisible. If anyone had caught me, the worst they would have assumed was that I was a pervert. I had no such cloak to take care of him, but that was less than half the time to get caught to begin with.”  
“I’ll be dipped! Invisible mouthplay! What a gloriously filthy little imp,” Fili mused, impressed.  
Chided Kili, “And here you couldn’t figure out all that time why I was in love with him.”  
“Hey, now!” argued Fili, suddenly bristling. “That is wholly unfair and untrue. I was on board with your wooing from the beginning-- _before_ the beginning, if you’ll remember--and I’ve counted Bee as one of my friends since the quest began, to say nothing of the respect I gained for him along the way, which was considerable. Granted, it took me a bit to come around to seeing him through a lover’s eyes, and I will fully admit I was annoyed to no end with him stringing you along, but to say I couldn’t figure out why you were in love with him is a cruel exaggeration.”  
Kili was taken aback at Fili’s passionate defense. “I was only having a bit of fun, Fee. I didn’t know it was going to upset you so.”

They stared at each other. When Fili’s face softened, Kili exhaled in relief and went back to his cake.

Feeling sheepish about his outburst, Fili fidgeted. Kili hadn’t known Fili was particularly sensitive about Bilbo these days, after all.

"Kee, do you remember," Fili hesitated, not particularly relishing the memory himself. "Do you remember--before you and Bee came to us with your plan for the four of us to share beds, back even before you were wed--trying to explain to me why Bee was reticent with Bo touching and kissing him but not with Thorin?"  
"Um, which time?"  
Fili rolled his eyes. "Brat. I'm serious."  
"I am, too! We had more than one conversation."  
"Perhaps you asked me twice, then."  
"Asked you what twice? Where are you going with this?"

Kili's knowing look bore right through him, as Fili expected it would.

Fili said, "To illustrate your point about Bo, you asked me--hypothetically at the time--if taking Bee to bed would change how I looked at him, if my mind would besottedly begin drifting towards thoughts of him unbidden. Do you recall?"  
"I don't remember the exact words but that sounds familiar."  
"And that my answer was more or less 'probably not?'"  
Exasperated, Kili said, "Fee, I'm about to turn you upside down and shake your point out of you."  
"What...what if I had been wrong?"

Kili's eyes widened slightly. They had talked about how Fili's physical relationship with Bilbo had altered the emotional one in a way Fili had been hesitant to name at the time. Was this now a confession of something deeper?

" _Were_ you wrong?' he asked softly.

Fili bit his lip nervously, noticing with some annoyance that the back of his eyes were hot with the threat of tears. He nodded.

"There is a distinct possibility I was foolishly, wretchedly wrong."  
Kili gave him a small, kind smile. "Does Bee know how, um... _wrong_ you think you were?"  
"No. He knows there has been a change, and before our more chaste bed agreement I had admitted noticing something more, but I..." Fili trailed off, floundering for his next phrase.  
"But?" prodded Kili gently.  
"I had to find a way to tell you. It--it didn't seem right otherwise."  
"Well," Kili said with mock solemnity, "When you tell him, I hope you can get to the point more eloquently."  
"Kee!" Fili snapped. "Stop it, I'm being serious! What do I do?"  
"Does Bo know?"  
"Yes."  
"And I know."  
Fili rolled his eyes. "Have I been talking to _myself_?"  
Ignoring him, Kili said, "So maybe it is Bee's turn to know."  
"Just like that?"  
"Just like that."

They sat in thoughtful silence for a long while.

“Say, whatever did become of that ring of Bee’s?” Fili asked.  
“Gandalf got particularly fussy about it. He forbade Bee use it anymore. He has it stashed or something.”  
“Well, if Gandalf is worried about it, there’s probably a good reason. Best it stays stashed.”

 

*****

Returning from Rorimac’s, Bilbo went looking for Kili and found him, alone in the writing room, weeping silently with a large book clutched to his chest.

“Kee! Gracious, what is wrong?”

Kili’s face--momentarily smoothing in surprise when he heard Bilbo come in—crumpled anew. Setting aside the book, he pulled Bilbo to his lap and held him painfully close.

“Not so tight, dear heart. You’re hurting me.”

Relaxing his arms only slightly, Kili cried into Bilbo’s shoulder. Bilbo did his best to calm him, rocking him and stroking his hair, asking him over and over what the matter was. Kili only sobbed with no explanation. Worried and desperate for an answer, Bilbo peered next to them to see what the book was. He gently tapped Kili for his attention and eased backwards.

“Is this what has you so upset?” he asked picking up the book.

Sniffing, Kili nodded.

Bilbo scooted so he could sit with the use of his own lap, still close enough to Kili to touch. He opened a book he had not cracked in years. A lump caught in his throat at the sight of his name in his mother’s own handwriting. There was a picture below it, drawn in her careful strokes, of a too-familiar hobbit babe. As he flipped through the pages, he saw her drawings: some of flowers she liked to grow in their garden, some of his father, some self-portraits of his mother, and many, many drawings of him. Each page included a story about their lives. Some pages were all story if the story had been deemed particularly noteworthy or meaningful. In going through Bilbo’s bookshelves, Kili had stumbled upon his mother’s family journal, the one she started shortly after Bilbo was born.

Silent tears streamed down Bilbo’s own face as he turned to look at Kili.

“I’m so sorry they are gone, Bilbo,” Kili whispered softly, broken on his behalf.  
Bilbo wiped his eyes and sighed, “Me, too, Kee.”  
“I didn’t mean to find it. When I saw your name, I couldn’t stop myself from continuing.”  
“It is okay, really it is. I…I haven’t looked at this in a long, long time.”  
“It made me so sad.”  
“It _is_ sad, but it is also joyous in its own way, too.”  
“Her drawings of you were incredible. I wasn’t here to see you as a baby, but your resemblance in the later ones is unmistakable. She was as gifted as she was lovely.”  
“Her drawings of herself and my father were perfect, so I don’t doubt I must have looked like that as a babe.”  
“You were terribly cute.”  
The corner of Bilbo’s mouth quirked up wistfully. “I suppose I was, wasn’t I?”

Kili put his arm around his shoulder and Bilbo leaned into him. He rested his chin on Bilbo’s head. They sat like that for a long time.


	53. Catching On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So about all those little songs, gifts, snacks, and gestures of Bilbo's for the past few weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 8131 word update, yo.

Fili had been meaning to take Bilbo aside for their own private reunion, but there hadn’t seemed to be the right opportunity in the days that followed his tryst with Kili. He had reached a point where there were so many feelings boiling under his skin, he wasn’t sure even what he wanted to say to Bilbo in the first place. Sometimes--when the four of them were in bed together--Bilbo would do something to remind him of the afternoon they snuck off on their own, Fili would feel a surge of emotion, and wind up almost blurting something out, anyway. So far (thank goodness), he had managed to get hold of himself before that happened. Despite his feelings not being secret to them, he hadn’t wanted to make any big confessions in front of Kili and Bofur. Not sure what Bilbo would say or how he would react, Fili thought they might both appreciate having whatever moment such an admission on his part might bring about—for better or for worse--without an audience.

He sometimes nervously wondered if they truly needed that spoken moment at all. Fili had promised Kili he would have no fear of intimacy going forward—and he meant it to include all of them--but it wasn’t the physical act making him wary now. After all, he had already been turned inside out by Bilbo and had returned the favor. Confessions, though…those were trickier. Weren’t they? 

*****

Ori stopped by Bag End to meet up with Kili, as the two of them had planned a baking lesson with Mrs. Cotton. Bilbo thought it was sweet that Ori wanted to learn how to make Thodora and Chadham his hobbit favorites, and sweeter still that Kili’s interest in such things included furthering his own education. He couldn’t wait to taste the results of Kili’s afternoon.

Kili left Bilbo with a kiss and a whisper: 

“Put some thought into my suggestion today and don’t be shy. I’m willing to bet they’ll finally clue in. I love you.”

After fastening Kili up warmly, Bilbo fondly watched him and Ori run up the path towards the day’s adventure. 

*****

Bofur sat at the dining table, working on his latest creation. As he had imagined before he reached the Shire, in his free time (when he had not been working on the smial or obsessing over his bedmates) he had been carving toys. Fili joined him at the table, having just punched down some dough for that evening’s dinner plan.

Taking a few deep breaths to summon his courage, Bilbo entered the room. 

“Um, when the two of you are not occupied—“ Bilbo said, nervously fidgeting. “—I hoped you might allow me the honor of combing and fixing your hair for dinner. Well, even though it is scarcely afternoon…I mean, I would like to groom you for the rest of the day, up to and including, erm, dinner.”

Bofur smiled lovingly at Bilbo, subtly shifting his gaze to Fili to catch his reaction.

Fili blinked in shock, barely breathing. Now that he paused to consider it, Bilbo _had_ been singing to them more, making their favorite foods, washing their clothes, giving them small gifts…to say nothing of him sharing both body and bed, often sleeping next to them when the passion ebbed and the four of them grew drowsy—and all without Fili having caught on to what it might mean. In an instant, dozens of oddly shaped puzzle pieces locked together at once: an unusually bashful and nervous Bilbo had asked to smooth Fili's and Bofur's hair and the realization--the incredible, improbable, wonderful realization—finally dawned.

Awestruck, Fili asked, "Bee, have you been courting Bo? Me?"  
"Well, yes," replied Bilbo, looking back and forth between the two of them. "It so happens I have been...and still am, if it pleases you for me to continue?"

Bofur had sussed it out days before Fili, though hearing Bilbo actually say it still carried its own pleasant satisfaction.

“I will be back in a tick,” Bofur said. “Hold that thought.”

Still reeling, Fili struggled to find a way to convey his feelings on the matter. As he sought a way to transcend the lack of words currently failing him, Bofur returned.

Said Bofur, “As it happens, I have something for this occasion.”

He opened his palm to reveal a wooden bead, similar to the ones he had crafted for Bilbo to gift Thorin and Kili, though far more intricate and time-consuming to create. The design was a lattice made entirely of the letter "B" to stand for Bofur, Bilbo, and Baggins, with all the interlocking holes completely carved through.

Bofur explained, “Though I do possess traditional dwarven beads, given our history I thought nothing would be more appropriate than this.”  
“Bo, this is…this is breathtaking!” Bilbo exclaimed. “The care you have put into this! Oh…”

As Bilbo trailed off, overwhelmed, Fili looked at Bofur. 

“When did you have time to make that?”

Bofur didn’t want to admit he had been working on this very bead the day Fili asked him to go see the surprise work at the smial, not after all the pain he had inadvertently caused. 

“I made it after we started going to bed.” He returned his gaze to Bilbo. “I didn’t know when I would be brave enough to give it to you or how I’d go about it, but now seems to be the right time. May I?”

Bofur gestured towards Bilbo’s hair.

“Yes! Oh, Bo! Yes!.”  
“I hope you have long enough hair right now to add a braid in the back!”

Fili’s fingers twitched. He thought about how it would feel to be the one fastening a personal bead in Bilbo’s hair. Despite the pang of yearning it gave him, he did not want to intrude upon this moment for Bofur, not when he had waited so long for it.

Bilbo said, “Perhaps, if it wouldn’t feel unspecial or like a slight, maybe we could stack yours on my longer braid where I wear Kee’s and Thorin’s? I’ve kept that lock longer on purpose.”  
“You would wear it where you are wearing your husbands’ beads?” asked Bofur, incredulous.  
“Well, it means you wish to officially court me, yes? That we’re not merely bedmates?”  
“It most certainly does,” Bofur answered.  
“And Fee doesn’t mind?”  
“Fee doesn’t mind,” Fili assured him.  
“Then yes, that is the best place I can think of for it to go, if you do not mind keeping the company.”

Bofur knew Bilbo’s concern was due to his consideration of Bofur’s jealousy of Thorin, but those old, bitter feelings were the furthest thing from his mind right now. He could not focus on anything other than his bead would be nested against Kili’s and Thorin’s, on the same braid, getting the same reverence and treatment—and he hadn’t had to ask for it. Bofur felt giddy, as though the whole of Middle Earth itself had just exhaled, “Finally.”

“After all this time whining about not being in their company, you think I’d object?” he asked softly.

Bilbo stayed still while Bofur added his bead to the stack of Thorin’s and Kili’s on his plait. When he was finished, Bofur gazed at him with shining, adoring eyes. Bilbo had no doubt his expression was a near-perfect mirror. Gently drawing Bilbo’s face upward, Bofur captured his lips in a slow, tantalizing kiss. 

When they drew apart, Bofur said, “As marvelous as that was, I must not be selfish. After all, I am not the only one who has been the recipient of these overtures of yours.”  
Bilbo blushed. “No.”  
“Then perhaps…” Bofur said, stepping back with a flourish. 

Bilbo looked between them, every fiber in him alert and alive.

“May I continue to court you?” Bilbo asked Fili.  
Fili, joking to ease his own speedily fluttering heart, asked, “Weren’t you supposed to ask leave before you _started_ courting however many weeks ago?”  
“If you want to be precise, I probably was supposed to ask leave to court before I fingered your areshole, too, but you know how that went,” teased Bilbo back.

Fili and Bofur barked laughs. 

“Point conceded.” Voice and expression softening, Fili said, “I accept, Bee. I never would have guessed…”

He trailed off, unable to find the words. The sweet look in Bilbo’s eyes that conveyed he, too, had not expected where this had gone for them also told him there was no need to explain. Instead, Fili unclasped a bead from his hair.

Resting his forehead to Bilbo's, he whispered, "May I court you as well? As you said, more than merely bedmates?"  
Bilbo closed his eyes and smiled. "Please. I would like that very much."

Fili leaned in, pressing his lips to Bilbo's in a soft, lingering promise. He added his bead to Bilbo’s braid next to Bofur’s, holding the final result reverently in his hand a moment before returning it to where it naturally hung. 

Fili stepped back to give Bofur and BIlbo room to…well, he didn’t know what. He did know that he and Bofur were both here, having this moment that Bofur had dreamed about for months upon months, a moment that Fili hadn’t realized how badly he had desired until it was happening. 

“Well, if I may?” Bofur said, reaching out for Bilbo’s hand. 

He tenderly brushed his lips over Bilbo’s knuckles before taking him in his arms and kissing him more properly. Before it grew too heated, Bofur released him and reached for Fili. Kissing him, too, Bofur finished off with a nuzzle and an adoring look. 

“You two misbehave yourselves, now,” he teased, backing towards the door.  
“Wait, what?” Fili asked, flummoxed. “Where are you going, Bo?”  
“Yes, how can you leave _now_?” Bilbo added. 

Bofur could not resist another embrace with Bilbo. 

“We will celebrate later, my furry-footed love. We’ll have a long, slow celebration, just you and me, ending in a terrific mess. For now, I’ll leave you and Fili to a private party of your own.”  
“But Bo,” Fili argued. “We could all three celebrate. You’ve—well, forgive me, Bee—you’ve been waiting for this moment a lot longer than I have. I worried to even give Bee my bead, so loath was I to intrude upon this for you. You can’t leave for something so very long overdue.”

Bofur walked over and cupped Fili’s face. 

“Bee and I have had many a private dance, so to speak, sharing bodies, love, soft words, and plans. He and I have done this one even more backwards for our part. I believe _you_ are the one overdue at this point, and besides, the acceptance of a courtship is no time to share.” Quieter he whispered in Fili’s ear for him alone, “Though it might be a fine time to confess secrets. Tell him.” 

He pulled Fili to him and delicately licked into his mouth, the soft, answering sigh _almost_ enough to turn him away from his nobler intentions.

Fili stole a look at Bofur as his husband pulled away and received an encouraging solemn nod in return before he and Bilbo were left alone in the dining room. 

“That was unexpected,” Fili said, still stunned. “Well, it all is, if I’m being truthful.”  
Bilbo hummed agreement. “He was right, you know. I’ve not been alone with you save for the one time, and none since we’ve figured things out better.”  
“You aren’t disappointed he accepted your courtship and left? Because of me?”  
“No mistake—I’m eager to to show Bo just how thrilled I am, and I’m also quite interested in perhaps a repeat performance of the day you two took me apart for Kee to discover, but I’ve been looking forward to a chance to spend some time alone with you. Does all this mean that you will let me comb your hair?”

Fili laughed, nearly having already forgotten how amazing it had been that Bilbo had even wanted to comb his hair, given so many astonishing things had happened right after in quick succession. 

“I have a special comb,” Fili said, holding out his hand in invitation. 

Bilbo took it, walking with him to Fili’s bedroom to retrieve it. He started climbing up on the bed but Fili stopped him. 

“Unless you object, I should like to do this in your room.”  
“Of course.”  
“I’ve, um, I quite like the look of you in the light you get in your windows, there,” he said shyly. “Also, I’m proud of the bed.”  
“As you should be.”

Switching rooms, Fili and Bilbo both sat on the master bed. Holding Bilbo’s gaze, Fili unclasped his remaining framing braids—all but his courting braid—and unplaited them. The mere act of loosing his hair in front of Bilbo made his stiffened prick throb. 

“This is a beautiful comb,” Bilbo murmured, scooting to Fili's side to comb through his waves.  
“Bofur made it.”  
“I expected no one else.” 

Fili closed his eyes and hummed in bliss as Bilbo groomed him carefully and purposely.

When he finished, Bilbo said, “There. You are a vision if I do say so myself.”

Fili took Bilbo in his arms and voicelessly used his mouth to thank him. It heated up rapidly between them, both of them having been stiff in their trousers since before a single bead was clasped in the dining room. 

“Fee?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I think we are overdressed for what I have in mind next.” 

Once their clothes were off, Fili gazed into Bilbo’s eyes. A part of him had no idea how they had gotten to this point, while another part wondered how it took him so long to figure it out. He supposed it didn't matter how it happened, as long as it was happening. Bilbo gazed back at him with endearing sweetness on his face, with such affection, yet there was a hunger in his eyes that stirred Fili to the core. He had seen Bilbo look like this before, but to have this expression (and all it conveyed) leveled directly at _him_ ….was Bilbo in love with him, too? The thought warmed him so much he fancied it had the potential to turn the Shire winter straight to summer. 

“Will you let me take you to bed?” Fili asked him.

Bilbo growled, seizing Fili’s face and diving into his mouth, tongue first. They fell back on the blanket, skin to skin, sliding against each other in those smooth moments before the skin grew damp. 

It was intense for Fili again, just as it was the last time, as it had been every time since he had realized his idea of lightheartedly bedding Bilbo had exploded into something far grander and wholly, wonderfully unexpected. Fili pushed up, his forearms locked under Bilbo’s shoulders and curved around so he could caress his hair and shoulders. Bilbo grinned up at him in the soft early afternoon light that illuminated the room, skin flushed with arousal and eyes dancing with mirth. A surge of love raced through Fili’s core and limbs, and it was suddenly all too fitting that this situation seemed familiar. 

“Bee, I-“ 

There was a catch where Fili’s voice met his throat. Why was he so nervous? He chewed his lip and tried again. 

“I’ve fallen in love with you. My tongue is dry and my heart is beating out of my chest and I swear I didn’t plan on this happening but…oh, Bilbo Baggins! How I love you.”

Fili could scarcely believe he had gotten it all out. His eyes pricked with wet emotion and he barely breathed, waiting for Bilbo’s response. 

Bilbo pulled Fili down and kissed him, slipping past his lips to taste him deeply. Fili yielded, virtually collapsing into Bilbo’s kiss with relief and joy. When they finished, Bilbo gently urged Fili to lean against his forehead. 

“Tongue didn’t feel that dry to me,” Bilbo softly quipped.

Fili laughed, his tears spilling over his cheeks. Bilbo thumbed them away, pressing back into the pillow just enough to gaze meaningfully into Fili’s eyes. 

“I love you, have fallen in love with you, however you need me to say it to understand I’m saying I adore you. I hadn’t planned it, either, and yet it has happened. I think it has been happening for a long, long time—little drops creating a puddle, growing into a stream, and eventually becoming a current I had no intention of fighting.”  
“I’ve told Kee, and Bo knows, too."  
“Kee and Bo know my heart, too, in case you were worried.”  
“You’re in love with me,” Fili repeated, as though he were trying to convince himself. “You’ve been quietly courting me and in love with me, waiting for me to notice.”  
“You’ve been courting me, too.”  
“I have?”  
“You’ve been playing songs to me, making food I love, giving me small tokens, helping me when I needed it around the house without asking, not to mention to kisses and the knee-weakening pleasure that has returned since we dissolved the most recent unpleasantness…all of those things are acts of courting by a hobbit’s reckoning. I wondered if you were going to ask formally or if they were going to remain gestures only. I hoped I wasn’t the only one of the two of us falling in love.”

Fili thought of how he had upset Bilbo when he confessed he had used him before and could almost taste the shame at the back of his throat. 

“Bee, I’m so regretful about giving you that doubt!”  
“That whole situation was unfortunate, but we’ve moved past it and we’re stronger for it.”  
“No,” Fili said.  
“No, we’ve not moved past it?”  
“No, the whole situation was not unfortunate. The misunderstandings were, to be sure, as was the initial motivation to bed you privately. What I discovered with you that afternoon, though…nothing about that was unfortunate. It was a revelation, and though the aftermath was somewhat sour, you and I together was sublimely sweet. I want to make more of those memories—here, now—ones not clouded with pretense or uncertainty. I’m in love with you and I am desperate to make you feel how much.”  
Joyfully overwhelmed, Bilbo replied, “Fee, I—I don’t know what to say.”

Fili kissed Bilbo passionately.

“Say you’re just as desperate. Say you want me. Tell me again you love me too.”

Bilbo had to admit this moment, this conversation, felt more significant than simply the acceptance of a courtship. 

Determined not to overthink it, he replied, “Yes! Oh, you beautiful creature. I desperately want you…and I do love you, too.”

Fili licked and bit at his throat and Bilbo arched into him, exposing his neck even more. 

“Fee, I want you to mark your claim on my skin.”

He yelped as Fili enthusiastically granted his request without a moment of hesitation. Fili soothed it afterwards. 

Fili said, “I want to wear yours as well--I want it something fierce--but not yet.”  
“Not yet?”  
“Last time we were alone, you took care of me first. This time, I wish to take care of you. You can stake your claim when I’ve accomplished that. Have you bathed today?”  
Bilbo—despite their present position—blushed. “Yes, my hair might even still be damp.”

Fili kissed along Bilbo’s collarbone, down to the nipple piercing that once shared significance for him and Bofur. Biting and teasing until Bilbo whimpered, he continued down Bilbo’s delightfully soft skin at his waist, drawing down to the side and firmly ignoring Bilbo’s eager erection. Moving down his thigh, Fili reached under Bilbo’s bottom and urged him to roll over. Bilbo complied and better, rising up on his hands and knees, his arse rising in invitation. 

“What a tart you are,” Fili purred.  
“I’m your tart, now.”

Reverently, Fili stroked over the tattoo at the small of Bilbo’s back. 

"Bilbo of the House of Durin,” Fili murmured quietly to himself, suddenly overwhelmed.  
“What was that?”

Tears springing up hot in his eyes, Fili did not trust his voice. He exposed Bilbo’s entrance and licked at it, pulling a whine from him. As many times as they’d been naked together, Fili had done this to him less than a handful of occasions. 

“Yes, Fee. Please, yes. I need to feel you as close to me as possible.” 

Fili wasn’t about to disappoint. 

*****

Kili returned from Mrs. Cotton’s and found Bofur in the sitting room, leaning sideways over the arm of the settee and using the side table to catch the shavings from something tiny in his hands.

“What are you working on?” he asked.  
“Beads for me and Fee to give Bee. No doubt you already know Bee has been courting us?”  
Grinning, Kili said, “Yes. The bigger story here is that you’ve figured it out finally, too?”  
“I caught on before today, but had been waiting to see how it was going to play out with Fee. When Fee finally figured it out today, we already had beads for him, being dwarrows and all. Bee had none to give back and I imagine when enough blood is back to his proper head to consider it, he will be mortified he didn’t change any with us.”  
Kili smirked. “So where is he now, with his blood not in the proper head?”  
“In the bedroom, celebrating with your brother.”  
The smirk faded to a frown. “Then why are you here?”  
“I’ll take my turn another time. It didn’t seem like the time to share and I thought it best Fee go first. You know he is considerably more sensitive about these things than he would like to think he lets on.”  
“He is, possibly more than any of us save Bee himself.” Kili looked at Bofur with thankful wonder. “That was incredibly thoughtful, especially because I know you would have loved to tuck Bilbo away for a couple hours yourself.”  
“Sure I would, but like I told them, Bee and I have had more quiet talks and private moments than they have. I’ll get my moment, don’t you worry.”  
“Hmm. Maybe Fee and I will urgently have to practice tomorrow for a couple hours.”

Bofur smiled at him. Kili winked back.

“This is the weirdest relationship I’ve ever heard of in all my days,” Bofur noted.  
“Yeah. Isn’t it great?”  
“Aye, it is the best.” 

*****

Fili had licked Bilbo until he had begged to be fucked with his tongue, then tongued him until Bilbo begged for fingers. Rolling him over, he obliged, ghosting breaths and tiny licks against Bilbo’s shaft until he was dripping, thrusting into the air and pleading, “for the love of all that’s good in this world, Fee!”

From that point, Fili had spent the better part of a half hour working Bilbo over the way Bilbo had once done to him, teasing out his pleasure, bringing him to the brink, and cooling him down…until Bilbo was so strung out on the thrill that there was no cooling him down in between any longer. 

Fili withdrew, leaving a panting, bewildered Bilbo on the bed grunting in frustration. He reclined next to Bilbo, making sure he was close enough to the side of the bed to reach the dish on the nightstand. 

“Come here,” Fili said. “Straddle me across my chest.”

Dizzy with arousal, Bilbo scrambled up, settling his knees just under the meeting of Fili’s arms at his torso. He watched with eager eyes as Fili reached into the oil dish, rubbing his hands together to coat his fingers…then reaching over to coat them again. Bilbo was already slick with oil from Fili already having been in him. Though he always appreciated a little more, he didn’t know why Fili needed it on both hands. 

“Budge up for a moment,” Fili said. 

Bilbo rose up on his knees, giving Fili the chance to sneak a hand between his legs—and into his crevice. Fili pushed into him with two fingers and Bilbo couldn’t help but roll his hips for the want of him. 

“That’s right," Fili encouraged. "Move with me. Fuck yourself on me."

Bilbo ran a hand through his hair as he undulated against Fili, both of them moaning as Bilbo chased his pleasure against Fili’s digits. A breath later, Bilbo figured out what the extra oil was for as Fili wrapped a slick hand around Bilbo’s cock and started to pump. Bilbo cried out in rapture. 

“Oh, that’s going to—oh, fuck!”  
“It’s meant to. Let it happen, Bee.”

Bilbo had Fili rubbing him within, stroking him without, and though it was not the consummating sort of lovemaking, Bilbo still felt utterly _taken_. 

Sensing Bilbo grow hotter inside while his moans grew more frenzied, Fili said, “Lean forward.”

Bilbo was too far gone to hear Fili, so Fili used his dual grip to move him himself, craning his head the rest of the way just in time for Bilbo to come, pulsing and spurting on Fili’s outstretched tongue. 

After Bilbo’s sense returned and he had climbed off, he said, “I thought sure you wanted me up there to finish on you.”  
“I thought that for a minute myself,” Fili admitted, “But celebrating courtships and love confessions, I needed you to finish inside me somehow. They’ll be plenty of time later to play to my perverted proclivities.”  
Bilbo giggled. “Perverted proclivities? Is that a Bo phrase? It sounds like a Bo thing to say.”  
“I’ll have you know that is mine and mine alone.”  
“The phrase perhaps, but not the proclivity itself,” Bilbo remarked. “It just so happens, though, that I’m feeling much the same way. I want you inside me, spilling, perhaps calling my name, as I suck you off for the first time knowing full well you’re in love with me.”

Bilbo had been positioning himself as he spoke, at mouth level with Fili’s cock by the time he finished speaking.

“In fact, I do not know how much longer I can wait for it.”  
Replied Fili, “I do not know how much longer I want you to wait for it. In fact, I want to know what it feels like when you throw out all the coyness and go at me with purpose, determined to make me come.”

Bilbo took him in, giving him exactly what he asked for, sucking him with masterful focus, pausing only the slightest of moments to lick a finger to push inside him, goading him further along. Fili could only clutch the blanket in both fists and hold on for dear life as Bilbo skillfully and relentlessly brought him to orgasm, his entire body quivering with the intensity. Fili _felt_ Bilbo taking it in eagerly, swallowing it, wishing for a moment in his post-climax haze that Bilbo could feel the same soul-rush Kili did in the same situation. 

When Fili was finished, they settled down in each other’s arms, enjoying the closeness. 

*****

Kili had fetched some ale for both Bofur and himself and plopped down next to Bofur on the settee with his latest book, sitting in contented silence while Bofur worked.

Eventually sitting back and rubbing the concentration out of his eyes, Bofur held up the bead he had just finished. 

“So, what do you think?”

Kili set aside his book and held out his hand, admiring the tiny work of art Bofur had just dropped into it. 

“You said you just started this today?”  
“Aye, a little before you got home.”

Fili’s bead had Fili’s and Bilbo’s initials interlocked. It wasn’t the hollow lattice of Bofur’s, following more the pattern of Kili’s and Thorin’s. Above one initial and below the other, Bofur had also managed a small flower. 

Letting out a whistle of admiration, Kili handed it back to him. 

“I don’t know how you can manage such tiny, pretty work so quickly. You truly are gifted, Bo.”  
Quirking a smile of shy pride, Bofur replied, “Thank you.”

Leaning back towards the table, Bofur worked some conditioning oil into the bead with a cloth to finish it. 

Kili hadn’t gone back to his book, choosing instead to let his thoughts drift pleasantly while he drank his ale. He had not noticed Bofur had put his project down and leaned to look at him until he spoke. 

“Kee, we’re closer now than we’ve ever been, wouldn’t you say?”  
“I would say that is a comical understatement at this point,” replied Kili, smiling.  
“May I ask you something personal?”

Bofur’s tone made Kili pay closer attention. He set down his mug.

“Sure, go ahead.”  
“What _is_ it about Thorin?”  
Furrowing his brow in confusion, Kili asked, “How do you mean?”  
“Bee couldn’t get him out of his mind pretty much ever, not completely. He always desired him, falling into bed with him even in the days leading up to your wedding…and scant days after.”  
“You’d probably get a better answer from Bee,” Kili shrugged.  
“But that’s not true, you know. Thorin has been tender subject with us in the past and I don’t think he would give me the answers I seek.”  
Kili canted his head, replying with a small, slightly baffled smile. “Forgive me, but if he can’t, how am I supposed to?”  
“Because you’ve been to bed with Thorin, too, and were captivated yourself—so captivated, in fact, that your desire to continue as Thorin’s lover was a direct condition when we worked everything out between the four of us. Fili said you had passionately reiterated as much when you two discussed it again after. Clearly, you are drawn to Thorin. You likely haven’t given Fili the full reasoning for the same reason Bilbo wouldn’t tell me, but you and I do not have the matter of jealousy between us when it comes to him.”  
“What does it matter? You still have Bee, and you know Fee isn’t losing me until I breathe my last.”

__

Bofur turned fully sideways to face him.

“I’m trying to understand what makes him so special to help me get in a better mind-space before we see him again. Also, perhaps if I understand better, I could help Fee if he gets his hackles up about Thorin in the future, too.”  
Kili considered this. “I’m not sure where to start. He is skilled, but that isn’t the whole of it. I just—I guess to begin with, there’s something about his focus. You know how intense he was leading us, week after week, never wavering? It carries over. He throws himself into bedplay as intensely as he threw himself into our quest. Moreso, if I am truly being candid.”  
“I guess I have to admit I see the appeal in a lover like that,” replied Bofur, attempting to imagine it. “There must be more though.”  
Kili did not argue. “Again, the best example I can make you is Thorin’s role as a leader. It is quite compelling, being in bed with Thorin. His presence is…well, for lack of a better word, kingly. When he touches me, it is as though he commands me. With a kiss, I’m ready to spread my legs and let him take what he wants. Digging deeper, it is especially exciting because I know a large part of what he wants is my pleasure. I can assure you he makes sure I get it, too.” 

Bofur noticed Kili palming his cock through his trousers as he spoke. Bofur’s own was not unaffected. 

“I can’t speak to all things, of course, as we do not make love,” Kili continued. “Bee, though—it is quite something to see Thorin make love to his Chosen. He is achingly loving with him, sometimes with a sort of breathless awe—as though he scarcely believes it is all happening--yet he still handles him as though it was his birthright.”  
Nodding thoughtfully, Bofur summarized, “In short, it is his majestic bearing and duty-bound drive to get his lover off. Again, I can concede that. Thorin compelled the fourteen of us to follow him across Middle Earth—shite moods and all--before he even wore a crown. If he is similarly compelling in bed, too, I suppose I should endeavor to be more understanding with Bee.” 

Bofur shifted, hoping to take some of the pressure off his cock. 

Klli noticed. “If you don’t mind, I think I’d like to finish this story with my trousers unlaced, for comfort’s sake.”  
Bofur’s eyelashes fluttered as he took a deep breath. “I think perhaps I’ll do the same.” 

They sat, canted towards each other, leaning against the back of the settee with their pricks free of their confines. Bofur cast a lascivious glance down Kili’s body and back up again before continuing, noting the flush of arousal pinking Kili’s cheeks considerably more than the few moments before. 

“So, where were we?” Bofur drawled. “King Thorin, I believe.”

Brazenly, Kili slowly stroked his shaft as he continued. 

“King Thorin, but not only. He also likes to give of himself with no pretense and no title, being simply Thorin—curious, loving, pliable, and eager. Although I’ve not reciprocated much myself, I’ve watched him let down all his defenses, letting Bee take the lead, making himself vulnerable in a way I had never imagined him to be capable. I cannot deny I plan to summon the nerve to be bolder when next I see him, perhaps to use my tongue or my hands to get him to yield his arse to me. I’ve seen him submit to Bee so willingly, so openly, blooming under his touch…to be one he trusts enough to do so must be intoxicating.”  
Bofur said, “Just the description is intoxicating.”

Seeing no point in denying himself when Kili had already started, Bofur pumped his own cock unabashedly. He reached behind him, snatching the small bottle of conditioning oil to help himself along. He offered it to Kili, tilting several drops into his accepting palm. They both exhaled tiny moans when they resumed, pleasantly slicked. Bofur kept his pace casual, enjoying himself just as he was for the moment. 

He asked, “So you’ve not touched him the way he has touched you?”  
“No.”  
“And you regret it.”  
Kili exhaled. “I do, Bo. Mahal forgive me, but I do.”

Kili’s flush now reached down past his collar and his skin began to glow with faint perspiration, even though the room itself was a bit chilly. He stroked himself somewhat faster—though not too fast--wetting his lips and breathing faster as his arousal grew. Bofur’s own need, coupled with the beauty of Kili starting to unravel with desire, made him bold.

Bofur pulled Kili into his lap and rapidly unbuttoned Kili’s hobbit-esque shirt, pushing it back towards his shoulders to expose his torso. Bofur rucked his own tunic to his chest, hastily dumped a few more drops of oil in his hand, and stroked them together. Kili sucked in a breath and groaned. Encouraged, Bofur worked him faster, watching Kili’s eyes glaze over in a satisfying haze of want, then abruptly slowing before Kili could become too far gone. 

“And what of the reticence you have about saving your mouth for Bee and Fee? Could Thorin command your throat as easily as he spreads your legs?” he asked, picking up his pace.  
“I-“

Bofur watched Kili’s chest rise and fall as he panted. Though he was pleased Kili was enjoying himself, Bofur wasn’t quite done with their conversation. He diminished his stroke again, pulling a delicious whine of protest from Kili. 

Voice low and dangerous, Bofur said, “You know, back before I had even kissed him, back at Beorn’s last year, Bee told me about the advantage you had over Thorin in bed. I had asked him to tell me, clearly wanting to torture myself with thoughts of Thorin and Bee together then just as I do now, it seems. With the idea that I could take the details to bed with Fee and drive him wild, Bee told me how you draw it out for ages to make his climax more intense, and about those other times when you would make him come as many times in a session as his body could handle. That means that I’ve been using your own techniques to make your brother come since we lived at Beorn’s. I've started using one of them a little on you now, as I'm sure you've noticed, teasing while we talk.“

Kili fixed his hungry gaze on Bofur, licking his lips again and purposefully bucking up into Bofur’s hand. Bofur felt the next stroke slip more easily down Kili’s shaft than the one before. 

Smiling, Bofur purred, “You like that, I can tell. You just got a whole lot wetter.” 

Kili hummed obscenely. 

“What turns you on more, I wonder? Bee speaking filth to me, being the recipient of your own pleasure torture, or being indirectly responsible for Fee blowing load after load for the past year?”  
Finally finding words again, Kili rasped, “All three.”  
Bofur grinned. “That’s a lad! But I’ll tell you a secret, my gorgeous accomplice—a secret I’ve never shared with Fee or Bee either one. I have discovered there is a point when someone is spun out on arousal when their desire is like a magical truth potion. It is how Fee finally got the nerve to confess he wanted to take Bilbo and you to bed, how Bilbo admitted he wanted to take us to bed, and so many other sexy little secrets that might have taken a lot longer to confess—if they ever had gotten confessed at all.”

Stunned, Kili thought back to the conversations he had had with Bilbo in the past—the ones when they admitted the liked being watched, when they might want to add to their bed, and so on—and realized they all had happened during times of heightened arousal. Maker’s light! Bofur was right!

Pausing to add more oil, Bofur took Kili in hand once more, focusing his efforts on him alone.

“You see,” said Bofur conspiratorially, “you can tell when your lover is sufficiently gone enough to confess their most covert cravings by the wild look they will get in their eyes. In fact, it is remarkably similar to the one in your eyes now. So, Kee, bringing it back around to our original subject: Thorin thumbed you open, as I saw in Fili's reenactment. You felt him inside you, your King Thorin version of him, as our Bee sucked you.” 

Bofur pumped him faster, tightening now on the upstrokes.

“Yes--oh fuck! Yes.”  
Bofur murmured, “What if Thorin had straddled your face with an urge to test your skill? Would you have denied him? Could you have?”  
“Bo!” Kili keened.

Inflamed by Kili’s reactions, physical and otherwise, Bofur stroked faster. Without a care for any trace of oil remaining on his free hand, he reached up and urged Kili down by the back of his head until he rested against Bofur’s forehead. Kili whimpered and breathed hard close to his face. 

Frenzied, Bofur said, “You wanted to feel him on your tongue and dripping down your throat. You wanted to know what that commanding, kingly intensity would be like fucking your mouth, didn’t you?”

Kili gasped for air, Bofur’s hand and words about to drive him over the edge. He licked out--trying to silence Bofur’s wicked, wicked tongue with a tongue of his own—and Bofur’s grip tightened in his hair, pulling him away just enough to keep him from kissing him. 

Bofur leveled him with a fiery, passionate stare. 

“You wanted him to spill in you, _needed_ to sense the heat of it, relish him salty on that tongue of yours. You wanted to wallow in the utter filth of knowing how _Thorin’s_ come tastes when it is your mouth pulling it from him. Tell me!”  
“Yes!” shouted Kili, shuddering and coming against Bofur’s cock. “I want it! Yes…”

Bofur’s tongue obscenely took Kili’s mouth as he breathed hard through his nose and pumped himself. The slick from Kili’s orgasm in his hand certainly helped things along, and soon Bofur was spilling, too. 

Kili relaxed his body and rested his head on Bofur’s shoulder, waiting for his blood to calm in his veins. Bofur leaned back, letting his head fall against the settee. After a few moments like that, breathing together, Kili sat up and looked at him. 

Smiling somewhat shyly, Bofur said, “Bringing us around to a mutual wank was not my original intent when I started this conversation, but you’ll not hear me complaining, You were fantastic.”  
Kili smiled back and shrugged. “You did all the work.”

Kili climbed off, looking around for something to use to clean up. Bofur offered him the cloth he had been using to oil the bead. 

“Not entirely all the work. Your desire for Thorin carried us along most, if not all, the way. I understand a little more, now, I suppose, though I’m having a particularly difficult time wrapping my mind around a Thorin with his guard down.”  
“And that is exactly what makes it captivating,” Kili explained, handing the cloth back and buttoning his shirt.  
“I could understand the appeal in that.”  
Kili laced his trousers, sat down, and looked at him anxiously. “Um, Bo…I would really appreciate you not telling Fee about this. I mean, of course you can tell him we were intimate, but would you maybe not tell him how affected I was by talking about Thorin? And especially do not tell him about that last part, please.”

Bofur’s spent cock twitched merely remembering Kili’s impassioned “Yes!” confession. 

He replied, “No, that’s not for me to share…though I wonder why you deny yourself. You obviously adore sucking cock.”  
“Your jealousy of Thorin is your issue to work through,” Kili observed. “Selective cock sucking is mine.”  
Bofur hummed a laugh. “Fair enough. There’s the other matter that seems closer to your heart, anyway. I still can’t envision Thorin submitting to anyone, much less ‘blooming,’ but for what it is worth, Kee, I hope you get your chance to…well, I hope you get your chance.”  
Kili kissed him. “Thank you.” 

*****

In a fit of heady delight, Fili rolled onto Bilbo, grasped both of his arms, and pinned them on either side of his head as he delved between his lips again. Something caught his eye when he drew back. He pulled Bilbo’s wrist--the one tattooed with Fili’s name--to his mouth, kissing the name there as he did whenever it captured his notice. Though always moved by the sight of his name written indelibly on the delicate flesh, Bilbo having it today it seemed to make the world cease moving around them. He stared at it a long moment and kissed it again. Still holding it, he leaned in to kiss the ring towards the point of Bilbo’s ear.

“Did you know?” Fili whispered, gently nipping downward at the lobe. “Even back then, when you did this? When you chose to carry me with your beloveds on your body, inking my name into your very skin until the end of time?”  
“I don’t know. I felt something, as I told you, little by little. There was something there, something strong enough to bare my body to you that night in camp, to let you touch me so intimately the evening Kee and I came to you and Bo as lovers for the first time. By the time we were in Ered Luin, it already seemed wrong to leave you out of the tattooing, to make you share Bofur’s piercing for meaning. I knew then I wanted to include you, that such an omission would assuredly pain me and possibly even you."

Fili vowed to get his ear pierced for Bilbo sooner than later, feeling a wave of guilt for not having done it already. 

Continued Bilbo, "I couldn’t name it, couldn’t place it until…”  
He pushed himself up on his arms to look at him. “Until?”  
Bilbo swallowed. “Until you asked me to bed, me alone, and allowed yourself to be so exquisitely vulnerable. When you took your turn with me, there was something in your touch, your eyes, your very voice that made me feel cherished and dear. Afterwards…afterwards I realized pretending we were simply close friends who happened to do filthy things to each other was pointless.”  
“Oh, Bee,” Fili started, feeling that old shame again.  
“Shush, now. You’ve just apologized for that ten times at least. I’m just telling you. Do you know when you began to figure it out?”  
“Whew, that’s probably just as complicated,” Fili said, breathing out with a grin. “I can tell you the first time I looked at you with new eyes, eyes that did not see you solely as friend and future kin: The day you and Kee were betrothed. I know Bo told you we wound up peeping at you. I had not yet started considering Kee as a lover—in fact, I was a little taken aback to see him thus—but you! I remember you had flowers wreathed around your wrists and ankles as you rode him. You were quite beguiling to me.”  
“And when you cornered me in my room to give me your assent that day?”  
“My desires had progressed much, much further by then. I could scarcely wait for whatever you would grant us. Bo and I had the most filthy conversations about what we would do if you let us. You made us both come a dozen times before you laid a finger on me, you. I wanted you desperately that afternoon. I hope you know the regard I have for you, though…that came well before the first twitch in my trousers. You had won my respect over and over on the journey. I once said to you that I counted you the best among us when it came to courage and will and I still believe that.”  
“That day we found the door," Bilbo chuckled softly to himself in fond remembrance. "You and Kee were such comfort to me that day. I carried your words next to my heart through all the trials that came after with the Arkenstone and the battle.”  
“It pleases me to know that. The rest of it, just like you, happened little by little, day after day, living with you, talking with you, kissing you, feeling you. The realization we might be in a little deeper than I knew hit me hard after our afternoon alone, too. That’s why I confessed to you, Bee. I wanted whatever we seemed destined to start to begin without any guilt or pretense. I don’t think I had realized how profoundly I had fallen until the four of us took that break, though. I was so relieved when you and I fell back into each other’s arms, I almost wept. It was then I knew, blood to bones.” 

They kissed again and held each other peacefully. Fili’s mind would not leave well enough alone, though, and he broke the silence with a worry that had been slowly simmering deep within him.

“What are we going to tell Thorin?”  
Bilb closed his eyes. “Thorin,” he sighed.  
“We promised him this wouldn’t happen.”  
“We promised him this hadn’t happened at the time,” Bilbo said, though it felt a little like grasping at straws. “Whatever we told him was true when we said it. Well…true that I didn’t know it was what I was feeling, anyway. I was being honest when I told you I’m not sure when it started, but I even told him before he left I would not have let you at my body like that without feeling something for you. In hindsight, I think this was growing between us then, though I wasn't aware enough to confess it to him. I can say I'm definitely wishing I hadn't protested quite so vehemently about this only being for play when we argued about it. I'm going to have to answer for that."  
"Me, too. I underplayed it considerably. Like you, I hadn't started questioning it yet."

Fili cleared his throat, relying on this new trust and development between them to help him give voice to a deeper fear regarding Thorin.

“Bee, I know he is your husband, but I’m…maybe if he had forbidden it back when he was here, or that letter even weeks ago--I still doubt it, though maybe--but now!" Fili realized he was babbling and cut to the point he was trying to make. "I do not think I can walk away from you. I don’t know what I’ll do if he says this cannot happen.”  
“Shhh, Fee. No sense getting upset. Thorin knew back then you were a part of this, though we did not estimate how this thing between us would grow. Still, he correctly predicted what would develop between me and Bo, and he is smart enough to anticipate we will be riding into Erebor different than when he rode out of the Shire. Do not let your worries of what might happen later spoil your right now.”  
“But, Bee…” Fili began again.  
Bilbo shifted to look into Fili's eyes. “I will not be keeping you a secret from him, I can promise you that. I’m also in too deep, you know—I do not think I can walk away, either.”  
“You’re getting as good at that as Kee and Bo are, you know.”  
“What?”  
“Knowing what I’m thinking.”  
“Maybe it is because we love you. Because _I_ love you.”  
Fili smiled. “I love you, too.”  
“Don’t fret, sweetheart. Promise me, okay?”  
“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are still here, I'm very thankful for you.


	54. A King Withdrawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin struggles with the issue of Regnad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! 
> 
> There are mentions and detailed descriptions of gaslighting, non-belief, and dismissiveness in this chapter, as well as allusions to sexual harassment and depression. If you are someone who finds detailed descriptions of gaslighting, non-belief, and descriptions of someone's reactions to experiencing these things especially troublesome or upsetting, you can absolutely skip this chapter and still be able to follow the story going forward. 
> 
> Take care of yourself.

Thorin's mood plummeted after the bathing incident and as the weeks wore on, so did his poor humor. It brought the gaping, Bilbo-shaped hole in his life into a much unwanted (and far too sharp) focus. He went from having a near-heroic sex drive to not touching himself at all. It was all he could do some days to bother getting out of bed and putting on clean garments, much less tending to his prick. Food either tasted of sawdust to him, wanting little to none, or he wanted to eat everything on which he could lay hands. A desperate helplessness settled around him--going through his routine and doing the things he had to do were monumental chores. He could see himself failing, knowing that wasn't the Thorin whom Bilbo wanted to see when he got to Erebor, but he couldn't seem to climb back out.

*****

Thorin's downward shifting mood brought an uptick in Balin's. Though he did not wish melancholy on the king, who had already endured enough pain and heartache for several lifetimes, it soothed Balin's suspicions that Thorin was not, in fact "feathering the nest” (so to speak) ahead of Bilbo's arrival. With that problem put to bed, however, Balin sought a way to try and soothe Thorin's poor moods for the good of council, his friends, and anyone who dared cross his path in the hall.

*****

Thorin dealt with council meetings, keeping his word that he and Regnad would act as though the odd experience at the springs hadn't happened. He was more mindful, though, of his frequency and manner of looking at Regnad when he was addressing the room, lest he do something that might be again misinterpreted. It seemed unfair that he had to alter his life over someone else's imagined perception of his attraction. It made him uncomfortable and only served to darken his mood, because now he had to examine his every behavior on top of missing Bilbo and everything else that weighed on a king's mind. He started to hate the council sessions, especially when Regnad had become the favored speaker over the past several weeks, heading several of the sub-committees as well. He had made himself nearly indispensable, which made Thorin's life unpleasant. Unfortunately, for some reason Balin had suddenly and quite firmly gotten it in his head that Thorin needed to attend as many sub-committee meetings as possible. 

Regnad didn't seem to be keeping his word, either, not wholly and certainly not for someone who had made what he alleged to be an embarrassing mistake. Instead, when he caught Thorin's eye, he tried to hold it. If Thorin looked away quickly, the second caught glance would result in a knowing sort of expression that put Thorin at an unease he could not pinpoint.

On more than one occasion, too, Regnad would walk past him in the dining hall or in the council chamber and Thorin would have sworn he had been humming the “Lonely King Of Lonely Mountain” song. Few people had the nerve to sing it in front of Thorin, not knowingly anyhow. Thorin could not figure out if it was purposefully intended to rankle him or if Regnad, as a late arrival from the Iron Hills that Fall as Thorin was in the Shire, hadn’t been told. Given everything else, he suspected the former, but his increasing doubt of himself made him wonder if it might not be the latter. 

It certainly didn’t help that there would be interactions between them that were perfectly normal, where Regnad was respectful--reverential, even. He would start to wonder if Regnad was simply a quirky creature whose sensibilities weren’t like his…but sooner or later, Regnad would again be humming that bloody song or giving him flirtatious—almost leering--looks. 

Thorin had thought of bringing his issue of Regnad up to Balin, desperate to have a second perspective on the vexing uncertainty of what Thorin thought was suspicious behavior, but he always stopped short, failing at how to explain what happened. After all, he had been bathing alone, with no guard, as Balin and Dwalin had repeatedly warned against. He had been wanking himself, also embarrassing, and then there were Regnad’s claims that he had called out to Thorin to let him know he was there. Thorin was dubious about that last claim, still loath to doubt the evidence of his own ears, but how would he explain it to Balin thus? Taken on their own, Regnad’s other rankling behaviors in regards to Thorin seemed too small to make a fuss—he had to mention the bathing incident or it wouldn’t make sense as to why the other things upset him, too. 

*****

“What is wrong with you these days, Thorin?” Dís blurted out one day. “You went from being on top of the mountain to buried in rubble in what seemed like an instant and I’m concerned.”

Thorin felt an unpleasant twinge in his core. He dearly wanted someone to confide in, or at least compare thoughts on the matter, but Dís couldn't be the one, no matter how badly Thorin wished she could be. Dís was utterly charmed by Regnad. She had even hinted around that Regnad would make a fine catch for any dwarf, _particularly_ any dwarf who might benefit from a well-spoken, intelligent, politically savvy mate. Thorin had almost sprained his tongue changing the subject the day she brought _that_ nonsense up. No, he could not ease his burden with Dís. 

“There is simply much on my mind, that is all,” he said. “We have more going on this Spring than usual, and our usual was already more than a full work load.”

She folded her arms and fixed him with a look.

“I know what this foul mood of yours is,” she said.

It took all Thorin’s effort not to roll his eyes. He hated it when she was smug. 

“What, praytell?”

“This ill-humor has Bilbo Baggins’s name all over it.”  
Sighed Thorin, “Dís, for The Maker’s sake! Yes, of course I’m still missing him—and believe me, I know you don’t approve of that--but he is not the source of this ‘ill-humor,’ as you want to call it. I want Erebor to reach a certain benchmark before we receive the diplomatic envoys coming in for your wedding, before more citizens arrive, for our lads coming in from the West, and for ourselves. I’m working hard in conjunction with the council, merchants, the guard, the builders, the miners, the architects, New Dale, Beorn, Bard, and more besides to make that happen and it takes a toll on a body and mind.”  
“Are you sure that’s all?”

Gods, Thorin hated lying to his sister, but the alternative was as bad.

Kissing her forehead, he said, “Yes, that is all. Don’t worry about me. Your plate is just as full as mine is. Did you talk to Nabbi about the latest integrity assessment tour of Reclaimed Hall 15 and the museum?”

Successfully deflected, Dís spent the next several minutes telling him about the plan going forward for the areas in question. 

*****

Milling around after one of the “Fellowship Dinners” Balin seemed bent on holding twice a week (with the idea of creating camaraderie among the council members), Thorin stood alone with his cup and watched the attendees split off into smaller groups to chat. He wished more of The Fourteen remaining at Erebor would exercise their right to sit council, if for no other reason than because dinners such as this would be followed with instruments and merry song. A faint smile ghosted along his lips as he recalled a past such meal with barrels upended to be used as drums.

Regnad drifted over next to where Thorin stood; both smile and memory disappeared like a wisp of smoke. Thorin thought he might get away from having to be social, but Regnad spoke too quickly. 

“Had you been gravely wounded in a battle to get such a dark scar, Your Highness? Or perhaps that is actually a tattoo of some _import_ to be worn so close to your heart?”

Thorin turned to look at him, both annoyed as well as puzzled. 

“I thought I saw something on your chest,” Regnad explained. “Something dark.”  
Tersely, Thorin replied, “I do not know what you are talking about.”  
Regnad persisted. “When we were bathing together…I could have sworn you had something on your chest, beneath that glossy nest of hair.”  
Thorin pulled him aside by the elbow, hissing quietly. “We were _not_ bathing _together_! You barged in on me--and I shall remind you that we agreed to forget it.”  
“I was simply wondering-“

Thorin bristled upon hearing that same, simpering, falsely sincere tone from the night at the springs. His dinner churned unpleasantly in his stomach. 

Fierce and low, he snarled, “What might or might not be on my bare flesh is none of your concern, nor do I need to explain anything to you regarding such matters.”

Regnad smiled back at him as though Thorin had just thanked him for being a valued and indispensable member of his team instead of having just dressed him down.

“As you wish, Your Highness.”

He left Thorin alone, walking over to one of the small chat circles with his cup aloft in greeting. 

*****

The after-dinner incident with Regnad had finally convinced Thorin he had not been imagining things or reading too much into Regnad's past (and continuing) odd behaviors. It also had proved to be too much for Thorin to continue keeping the burden he was carrying all to himself. There being only one person in Erebor he could trust with a matter this grave and delicate--both personally as well as professionally--he asked Balin to his private quarters. Thorin spilled forth as much as he could muster, leaving out the more personally incriminating details regarding the incident at the springs. Despite being emotional, he did his best to keep his words clear and his tone even, to sound as rational as possible.

After Thorin concluded, Balin stroked his beard thoughtfully. 

“Aye, I’ve noticed Regnad take an interest in you.”  
“If that’s what you want to call it,” Thorin muttered.  
Balin reacted to Thorin’s tone with confusion. “You’ve brought me to a private meeting in your own chambers to discuss these matters because they _disturb_ you?”  
“You are not disturbed? He has followed me, has invaded my privacy, and has since been needling me, _challenging_ me…and you don’t find it bothersome in the slightest?”  
“You’re the king, he is not challenging you! He is too smart to engage in such behavior—and you and I both know it. In fact,” Balin chuckled, “I think he might be flirting.”  
Thorin felt panic creeping up on him. “It is a funny way to show it.”  
“Well, you are the king and you’ve recently dissolved your betrothal. He has to find some way to get your attention.”  
“This is more than wanting attention, Balin. I am uncomfortable with his advances, he knows it, and yet he persists.”  
Balin stared at him pointedly. “Perhaps it isn’t Regnad that is the problem.”

Thorin’s panic ceased its gradual creeping and utterly seized him. Balin was taking Regnad’s side!

Oblivious to the drainage of color from Thorin’s face, Balin said, "You could do with a suitor, you know, and you certainly could do worse than Regnad.”

Thorin felt lightheaded with horror. 

“You’re, you-“  
“I’ve what, Thorin? Wanted what was best for you? Recognized that a handsome, intelligent, good political match would be leagues better for you than pining over a married hobbit?”  
“Have you orchestrated this? Encouraged this behavior?” Thorin managed, his world tilting sharply over, in danger of landing on its head.  
“Heavens, no! Whatever he has done, any advances he has made, he has made on his own. I will admit to perhaps creating more opportunities for you two to interact, but that’s as far as I’ve gone.”  
“All these extra councils, the dinners—it was all you pushing me towards courting?” Thorin was incredulous.  
“To be true, I’m disappointed to hear he had made the first overtures. Our tradition and propriety dictate you should be the suitor, given your circumstances. His behavior in that regard was inappropriate.” Balin sighed, “Well, I suppose him trying first could be overlooked in a circumstance as special as this, where you’d pine yourself into your grave if given the freedom. Regnad…well, he’s younger, mayhaps a bit less firm on staunch tradition when he sees something he wants. Like our Kili!”  
Thorin stood. “Do not ever, _ever_ compare that weasel to Prince Kili!" he thundered. "I cannot believe what I’m hearing! You find it inappropriate that he made the overtures first, but do not see the problem with what the overtures _were_? Balin, he sneaked up on me in the bath! He stared at me, naked, even as I insisted I wanted him gone. He has taunted me, knowing full well I did not wish his attention! I’ve kept it quiet until I could keep silent no longer! This goes far beyond simply being the first to make an overture and has toppled over into harassment.”

Balin crossed his arms. 

“Very well," he said shortly. "Are you not king, then? Why even bother with a private conversation with me when your mind was already set that he was guilty to begin with?”

Thorin exhaled, sucking on his teeth to control his temper. 

“Very well. I would like him removed from council, effective immediately, and returned to the Iron Hills.”  
“Thorin! Do not be ridiculous!” exclaimed Balin, his perturbed composure breaking.  
Thorin felt the threat of tears at the back of his tongue. “You cannot possibly support him over me on this matter. You’ve known me nearly your whole life and him only a matter of months!”  
“I _am_ supporting you, Thorin. Regnad is almost as beloved as any of The Fourteen who delivered Erebor back to dwarf-kind! Sending him away is political suicide at best. Possibly worse—you know there are people unhappy you left for months to attend the wedding in the Shire, to say nothing of those who have issues with this thing or that since you've returned. Forgive me, Thorin, but it is for your own good that I beg you to consider this further. Your claims are not egregious enough to warrant an ousting this severe without proof other than your word, not of someone so beloved by your political allies and defenders, up to and including your own sister.”

Thorin closed his eyes and tears of hurt and frustration escaped down his cheeks. Balin took both his trembling hands. 

“I do not understand what has you worked up so about this, but I have loved you and stood by your side for many decades, as I love and stand by you now. It is for your good that I am telling you the course of action you suggest is simply not possible without a wave of backlash I do not believe you could remain standing through, do you follow me?”

Eyes still closed, Thorin nodded. 

“I apologize if I played a part that exacerbated the situation at hand. I only wanted you to be happy and not alone. I will cease the formal dinners and I do not see a reason you need to attend the lesser committee meetings as you have been. Going forward, I will only invite you to the ones that truly require your presence and ear as king. Would that help?”  
Thorin sucked in a wet breath through his nose. “It would.”  
“And perhaps I’ll find a way to make mention to Regnad that I’ve noticed his increased attention and inform him it is inappropriate with you still mourning the end of your betrothal. I won’t tell him you spoke to me, but let me see if I can undo a little of my previous encouragement. Would that help, too?” 

Thorin sighed, finally opening his eyes. Balin looked upon him with kind concern and Thorin could tell Balin intended no malice or offense. Still stunned and heartsick Balin did not believe fully believe him or find the transgressions as awful as Thorin had, he conceded to himself that an alleviation of the dread he experienced so regularly was better than nothing…or worse, an escalation. 

“It would.”  
“Aye, then it shall be done.”  
“Thank you, Balin. I do not require anything else at the moment,” Thorin said. 

Pausing in the dooray, Balin glanced back at him. “For what it is worth, I am glad you confided in me, laddie. That’s what family is for, after all. You know you can always tell me anything.”

Closing the door behind Balin, Thorin was more doubtful than ever those words were true. 

*****

Whether it was Thorin’s curt dismissal of Regnad the uncomfortable evening after dinner or Balin’s promised suggestion of impropriety, something seemed to have curbed Regnad’s untoward behavior. He still held Thorin’s gaze a little too long, particularly when he was orating on those occasions Thorin had to attend important council, but the leering and song singing had stopped, as did most attempts to speak to him of anything but business. He still sometimes tried to get a space at the King’s long table for the regular meals, but Balin’s dinners (and hinted seating suggestions) had fully ceased.

Thorin still carried his disappointment in Balin, and he had never missed Bilbo so desperately—not even when they were estranged and leagues apart—but not having to deal with Regnad as regularly was at least a small relief. Having to hear his continual praises was irritating, though. He continued avoiding much of anything that did not involve running the kingdom or furthering his plans for the spring. 

*****

Thorin attended another mandatory council. Luckily, this one was full of final briefings, plans, and votes for the projects Nabbi and Dis were working on and Regnad, though in attendance, did not speak at all. Thorin avoided looking in his direction entirely.

After the last vote of the day, Dís said, “So we have agreement that Reclaimed Hall 15 and the museum will go forward with additional funding and personnel resources, not to exceed the allocation of ten persons until the Lower Apartments Heating Project is completed or until more science personnel arrive and/or relocate. Very good. We thank you all for your unanimous support. Nabbi, do you have anything else to add before we conclude business today?”  
Standing, Nabbi said, “Um, aye, I do, though it is not exactly related to the official votes today. May I address the unrelated question, Your Highnesses?” 

Dís, though puzzled, nodded her assent. All eyes went to Thorin, and he nodded deeply as well.

“Proceed,” Thorin said.  
“Forgive me, Your Highness, but do we know how long the Elves of Rivendell shall be staying in Erebor?”  
“May I ask why you wish to know?”  
“Some of the citizens who approach me with their concerns have asked if the elves shall depart upon completion of their last commission? Or if they plan to permanently relocate here as craftspeople?” 

Thorin was surprised, for he usually found Nabbi too grounded and too just in his dealings to bother with the small percentage of rabble that had been muttering about the elves. 

“Do they displease you?” he asked.  
“Not me personally, no. I was bidden to ask.”  
“For the record, they will stay to complete the commissions for as long as it takes to finish them. Given that they are fielding more requests than merely mine and those of the Princess—some from council members, if I’m not mistaken—they will take a little longer to finish. After that, they have asked to stay for the royal wedding, something I don’t think anyone could truly begrudge them?”

Dís glanced at Dwalin and he could not help but smile in return.

“Of course not, King Thorin,’ Nabbi said, obviously sheepish he had asked at all.  
“You have my permission to pass that answer along any of the _concerned citizens_ with an inquiry going forward. If anyone has a stronger argument, point them to the next full council meeting and I’ll take it up with them personally.”  
“Yes, Your Highness.”

Other than the uncomfortable conversation about elves, the meeting itself had reached pleasing results, particularly for Nabbi, Dís, and Balin, all of whom had championed this particular cause. Regnad had jumped aboard at the last minute, adding his thoughts in the last committee meeting, but Nabbi and Dís were the co-chairs and it was the bulk of their hard work that had gotten the proper inspections and tours done to obtain the final, confirming vote. 

Usually last one out, Balin left this time with the first wave, excitedly babbling like a dwarfling to Dís and Nabbi about ideas for moving forward. Dwalin followed behind with a fond chuckle. 

Thorin watched the rest of the council file out, looking forward to being alone in the chamber. He often liked remaining after vote sessions in particular, enjoying the solitude and peace that settled over the space after days (and sometimes weeks) of discussion and debate. He spent this time often thinking of his departed family and imagined they were sitting with him, pleased with the way Erebor was coming along and hopefully proud of a job well done. 

He noted with considerable uneasiness that Regnad was lingering behind. When the last person left, Regnad turned around to face Thorin instead of following them out the door. 

“I would not be so dismissive of Nabbi’s concerns about the elves if I were you,” Regnad said, still holding his notes.  
“I did not think I was being dismissive at all. I gave him a perfectly serviceable answer to give to anyone concerned over their presence here. Even he was uncomfortable bringing it to light.”  
“Yet he did anyway, which means he is not discounting the passion or the anger of the voices whispering these concerns in his ears. I’ll remind you there are far more ancient grudges than your family’s feud with Thranduil of the Greenwood, grudges in which your precious Rivendell elves are not clean of hand.”  
“The elves of Rivendell aren't _my_ precious anything,” Thorin growled. “but they are _our_ allies. Lest you or anyone else forget, it was Elrond of Rivendell who aided us in not only making it to the mountain itself, but also in deciphering the ancient code of a map even a wizard could not read. Neither you, nor I, nor anyone save a dragon would be in Erebor’s halls now if not for his favor, to say nothing if the hospitality and assistance they have given our princes and all-- _all_ \--the dwarrows who traveled this autumn from Ered Luin to finally return home to Erebor.”  
“Calm yourself, Highness. I'm only telling you what I know and regardless of how valid those points are, not everyone shares your newfound goodwill. I have to echo the concerns Nabbi has brought forth based on what I have heard myself. Some people are quite displeased you had even bothered to commission beds from them at all, even if you hadn't brought them to the mountain to do so in person. I must say, I don’t see what the big deal is about such craft, either. No mattress could be worth the damage it could do to you politically.”  
“You wouldn’t say that had you slept on one,” Thorin shot back, regretting in an instant the opening he had just given Regnad, of all people.  
“I’ve not had the opportunity.”

Thorin studied him to see if it was meant to be another lascivious comment, but Regnad's tone had been neutral and he was looking at his papers as he folded them, preparing to go. Thorin had a sudden, terrible thought, one that overrode his own discomfort with Regnad for a moment.

Gravely, he asked, “Do you think the elves are in danger?”

Regnad looked straight at him then, without an ounce of guile or flirtation. 

“Not them; you,” he stated plainly. “Or rather, you politically. At the very least, I would stay away from other controversial courses of action for the foreseeable future, and I would especially avoid hiring anyone else for your projects who is not a dwarf. The work you are farming out to Men, Elves, and the Skinchanger has not gone without notice or talk.”

Regnad tucked away his folded papers.

“If that is all, Your Highness, I’ll take my leave.”

Thorin scoffed inwardly. As if he had asked Regnad to stop in the first place! 

Waving his hand, “You are dismissed.”

Regnad bobbed a curt bow and left Thorin alone as he had once wished…though with less peace than Thorin would have had otherwise.


	55. Verisimilitude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A couple quick hits in Bag End and a longer Fili/Kili interlude before we swing back over to Erebor.

After speaking with Rorimac, Bilbo decided he should write the proper letters to Rivendell sooner than later. He wanted to send Lord Elrond a more formal request for lodging, giving him advanced notice of the headcount that would be traveling his way. Lord Elrond had assured him Imladris would always welcome him (and Kili, Fili, and Bofur), but for all his new dwarven habits, he was still a hobbit at the end of the day. It eased his mind to be more proper, especially when bringing additional guests.

Unfortunately, he had to get more paper, and the smoking room was where he had stored the spare. He had not been in it since he and Kili had moved the glory box to deeper storage and he was not excited to return to it now.

Walking softly— _for all the good it would do,_ he chided himself—he paused in front of the drawers where he kept his excess writing supplies. He felt nothing out of the ordinary, nor did he hear the slightest faintness of a whisper. Momentarily forgetting the paper, he fetched Kili.

Kili walked around the room before turning to face Bilbo, flapping his arms once against his side.

“Nothing,” Kili said.  
“But you felt it before, right?”  
“Yes. I never heard the whispers, but I stopped wanting to smoke in here well before you had your bad experience.”  
“So it must have been the glory box,” they both said in unison.  
“Surely not my Mam, though. I would know if it was her,” added Bilbo sadly.  
“I know, Bee. All the same, I’ll be glad to reclaim this room. I’ve been skipping a good smoke after dinner more often because I didn’t want to freeze my giblets, as Fili would say.”  
Bilbo hummed a distracted laugh. “Right, right…” 

*****

Bilbo noted that, though Bofur and Kili had added stroking each other to their list of willing seductions, they did not seem to be rushing things the way the rest of them had with each other. Still, sometimes (in bed) Bofur would whisper something in Kili’s ear that would make him flush as red as a strawberry. Bilbo always made a note to ask Kili what it was later, though the question was always fucked or climaxed out of his mind before he had the chance.

*****

Fili had gotten up in the middle of the night. Either his movement or his absence had roused Kili, who found him at the dining room table, snacking on some dried fruits.

“What are you doing in here?” asked Kili, joining him at the table.  
“Did Bee fuck you blind? I’m _eating_ , fool.”

Kili snatched a cherry from Fili’s pile. 

“Oi, get your own,” Fili fussed.  
Kili grinned with his mouthful. “Tastes better when it is yours.”

Fili affectionately rolled his eyes at the glib excuse Kili always used in such cases and went back to eating. Kili grabbed a few more bites of his own and studied Fili as they ate. 

Softly, he asked, “What are you really doing up in the middle of the night, Fee?”

Freezing mid-chew, Fili met Kili’s eyes. Going slack and resigned, he swallowed and said, “Your ability to read me does me less favors as your lover than it does as your brother.”  
“And?”  
“Kee…come on, now.”  
“Are you thinking about him again?”  
“Leave me be with it. I’ve told you, I’m working it out on my own. It took you months to work it out after you started courting Bee. Why can’t you at least give me until Spring?”  
“Yes, and in those months Bee and I spoke about it a lot, often with him making me talk about my insecurities so he could address them or assuage them. I’ve been there, Fee. Who better to help you?”  
“It is…discussing this with you, it is just so weird.”  
“Any weirder than what you did to me a couple hours ago?”

Fili raised his eyebrows and shrugged, conceding Kili’s point. 

“What is plaguing you tonight?” pressed Kili. “I can tell it is more specific than the fact that I’ll be warming Thorin’s bed. We’ve gone over that one a few times, now.”  
“It is more of the same, but something different, something we’ve not discussed yet.”

Kili leaned forward, eagerly resting his chin in his hands. 

“You’ve gone and done it now,” he said, eyes dancing with curiosity. “Now I have to find out.”  
“Did you,” Fili sighed, hoping he wouldn’t make Kili mad enough to wipe the enchanting, goofy grin from his face. “Did you want Thorin before this? Before Bilbo? When we were, um, I mean, before the journey?”

Kili’s smile did fade, but not in anger. He addressed Fili’s question with the seriousness it deserved.

“No, Fee, I didn’t. And although I loved you and needed you--viscerally sometimes—I didn’t know about this with you, either. I always thought we were simply close because we were family. It is only looking back with new eyes that I’m beginning to realize you and I were treated oddly for so many years because _our_ normal wasn’t _their_ normal. Even Thorin—people remarked often he was unusually present in our lives. Mam and Thorin himself always explained it away as us being heirs, as him taking up for our father when he died, but what if it wasn’t? What if he had no idea just like we didn’t?”  
“Kee, are you saying…you can’t be saying…you said you don’t feel the bond with him!”  
“I don’t, but I want him, Fee. I want him and I want him to desire me just as madly…and he seemed just as confused by the whole matter as we have been. That's not the specific point I’m heading towards, though. Something about us is different. Who knows? Maybe it spared Thorin. Maybe he fought next to Mam all those years to try and break us of these behaviors that made the neighbors talk because it seemed just as wrong to him….” Kili let his thought hang in the air.  
As expected, Fili finished it. “…Or maybe he was more like us and he didn’t know it? Fighting it, being on Mam’s side, treating us roughly to prepare us for our royal roles, thinking he was doing what was best for us-”  
“-And not understanding maybe his need for us to be happy and successful might have had to do with something else, something had nothing to do with him helping Mam with us, nothing to do with setting out for Erebor someday. Something he did not know until-”  
“-Until you woke it up. But you it only woke up for you. How do you suppose that figures into it, if it is related to our bloodline?”  
Genuinely puzzled, Kili said, “I don’t know, Fee. Maybe it isn't a bloodline thing. Maybe it has something to do with the Valar? I just--I just don't know.”

Fili scrubbed a hand over his face, sitting quietly for a moment and thinking, _Things were simpler when…_

He stopped himself.

…no, they _weren’t._

“You're right. We never were normal, were we?" he said. "That whole ‘like twins’ thing we constantly heard when we were kids--that was the kinder, euphemistic way of saying we were different, maybe outright disconcerting to other people. I...I can’t believe I never saw it before.”  
“Maybe we didn’t _want_ to see it, Fee. I was weird enough, gangly and awkward and not very dwarvish in the way I looked. You already had to defend me as it was, and on top of it all, we had our family history that made us different, too. At least you somehow managed to get out in front of it before I did, making friends and finding lovers-“  
“-You made friends, too. You still make friends, everywhere you go. You can’t help yourself, Kee. You’re charming as all get out. People have always adored you.”  
“Even as they made fun of me, guaranteeing I would never kiss a lad. I didn’t realize it until we went back to Ered Luin with Bee, but a lot of my friends back home…well, they weren’t particularly _nice_ to me.”  
“Well, you have me, Bee, Bo, Ori, Thodora, Chadham, Rorimac, Nîfon, Nerithel, Daerbes, Beorn, half the archers in Rivendell, all of Hobbiton, and who knows who else who adore you, right this very minute, for who you are and not merely what your title states…and they do not show it rudely.”  
Kili smiled at him gratefully. “You’ve always been my protector, Fee.”  
“You’ve always been worth it,” Fili replied, reaching out to take Kili’s hand. 

They sat like that for several silent breaths.

Asked Kili, “So you think Mam figured it out when we were dwarflings?”  
“I don’t know if she figured it out wholly, but I can recall so many incidents where we made her extremely uncomfortable. Whether Thorin ever figured it out, whether he has an inkling now, or whether he carries a bit of the same, erm, _oddness_ within him are good questions to take with us when we go to Erebor.”  
“Erebor,” Kili said, shaking his head. “You’ve been worrying how you will deal with your jealousy and I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell Thorin about this. ‘Hello, dear Uncle! Did you know Fee and I suck each other off now?’”

Fili muffled his snort in his hand, lest a bark of laughter wake up the others.

“It isn’t funny, Fee,” Kili said, snickering too.  
Fili swallowed the next chuckle, strangling out, “I know it isn’t.” 

A new peal of laughter got into Fili and he buried his face in his arms. That’s all it took for Kili to break up, too. He had to muffle his laughter until it faded. 

“Oh, Fee,” Kili trailed off in an amused, high-pitched sigh. “Oh!”

Kili’s tone changed abruptly.

“Oh, oh _Fee_ ,” he said, this time far more gravely. “What in the bloody Void are we going to tell him about you and Bee?”  
Fili sobered quickly. “Bee and I have discussed that. We’re not sure. The only thing we do know is we will not keep it from him. How we plan to broach that subject is another matter entirely, yet to be decided. I've gone back and forth on how much you and I need to tell him about us, honestly. We have to be incredibly careful."  
"I don't think we should tell Dwalin or Mam or anything," Kili noted, "But Thorin is part of our private arrangement. I think we would have to tell him."  
"That is a good point. It isn't as though he would run and tell anyone our secret, not when he has secrets of his own, one being with you himself. Yes, I agree; we will not keep anything from him this time. He is a part of this with us, even though he won't be in bed with all of us."  
“Fee? Do you ever feel…I don’t know…bad?”  
Fili furrowed his brow. “How do you mean? Bad like how?”  
“Bad like we’re here with Bee, all three of us, sleeping together--and having a pretty magnificent time, I must say—but Thorin, Bee’s original suitor and now-husband, is leagues away, all alone in Erebor.”  
“I think of it often, to tell you the truth. I know to my bones Thorin must miss Bilbo with a ferocity I cannot fathom. Being apart from Bo before we so much as courted was painful.” Fili toyed with the edge of his plate. “I try to imagine him busy being King, dealing with Mam, and helping her plan Erebor’s first royal wedding.”  
“You think?”  
Fili sighed. “I _hope_.”  
“Yeah,” Kili agreed sadly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone!


	56. Paper Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9,882 words for our depressed, lonely Thorin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The passages in italics are from letters.
> 
> It might be helpful to keep in mind these letters were written by the characters up to and before around Chapter 25 or so .

The longer it took to get a letter from Bilbo, the more often Thorin found himself slipping into that same demoralizing worry that Bilbo had somehow changed his mind. Though he knew he had unrealistically begun hoping for a letter before such a thing would have been physically possible, he was now well into the period where _something_ should have already arrived and…nothing. It would have been upsetting enough on its own, but he had felt increasingly isolated since the nonsense with Regnad had started. He had never needed a kind word from Bilbo, Fili, Kili, or even _Bofur_ more in his entire life than he needed one right that moment.

 

 

 

*****

After the uneasy conversation about the elves, things had mostly calmed from Regnad’s side of things--though the damage he had already done continued to nibble at Thorin’s faculties. From time to time, Thorin would catch looks from him, though that was nearly all anymore. Thorin couldn't allow himself to trust the respite, however. Though it exhausted him mentally, he remained vigilant, waiting for the next stunt to be pulled or comment to be uttered.

In the interim, Thorin had replayed that last strange conversation to himself several times, always getting caught up on Regnad’s warning about not doing anything controversial. Had Balin betrayed Thorin's confidence and told Regnad about his wish to send him back home? Was Regnad's warning a threat that Thorin might live to regret such action? Such thoughts infuriated him, partly because he hated how right Balin and Regnad were about it. Still, Regnad also included hiring outsiders in his warning, none of which had a single thing to do with the issues Thorin had brought to Balin, so perhaps it was a coincidence. Maybe Regnad was merely seconding what Nabbi said, speaking up for and corroborating the concerns of his friend. Thorin felt a spike of envy. There was a time when Balin and Dwalin would have done the same for him and more. Bloody damn—they had both flung themselves in front of axes for him before! Those days were behind them, it would seem.

Fili, Kili, and Bilbo had insisted for so long—well before Thorin even came to the Shire, and moreso to soothe him as they sent him off afterward—that Thorin would not be alone in Erebor. Individually, they had each assured him he would have his family and friends to keep him occupied, to hear his heart during times of tribulation, and to help him rebuild the kingdom for which he had sacrificed so much. He had believed it at the time, too, and though he knew he would miss them all fiercely, the thought he would not be completely lonely had comforted him along the hard road home.

How wrong they had all been.

He was surrounded by a kingdom of people, some of them kin, but he had no one in whom he could confide, not even his beloved sister. Never in his life had he felt so wretchedly alone.

 

 

 

*****

A messenger came one day, having hitched a ride with one of Beorn's (and now Erebor's) supply caravans from the North. He carried letters addressed to Thorin from the West--and from _Bilbo_. Not caring a jot for odd looks or whispers, Thorin cleared his entire afternoon schedule, sent word to have his dinner delivered to him, and bustled off to his room with his new treasure, planning to be unseen for hours. Once there, he latched the door to ensure no one could disturb him beyond a knock.

He took Bilbo’s blanket from its special spot and stripped down to naught but his tunic and trousers, wrapping the blanket around him like a cape. He held part of it with a free hand so he could periodically hold it to his nose to inhale.

The first thing he noticed when he sat down to inspect Bilbo's missive in particular was that it was a bundle, much like his to the Shire was. Bilbo appeared to have fulfilled his promise to write often. Thorin was also delighted to see letters had come from Fili and Kili. He even had one from Bofur, though he felt the tiniest speck of trepidation as to what it might contain, as he had not expected to have heard from him at all. However, that scarcely mattered when he had a new piece of Bilbo right in front of him, after long days, weeks, and months of waiting. His hands had a slight tremor. Having had daydreamed many times about what these pages might hold once they arrived, now that they were here, he was excited and nervous at once.

The first page of Bilbo’s letter was dated the day after Thorin and his company left.

 

_"Dearest Mr. Baggins (or, if you shall prefer, My King and Husband),_

_I stood outside and watched you leave until I could see you no longer. I stayed there until my bones were numb, waiting for I don’t even know what. Perhaps I was waiting for you to come back over the hill, having changed your mind. Maybe I just stood there and watched the air empty of you because that’s what we do, both of us, whenever one of us rides away. Either way, it was too cold for my romantic notions and Kili made me come in. I wept until I fell asleep. My housemates allowed me to nap through tea but drew the line at letting me skip dinner._

_I’ve been replaying the past few days over and over in my mind. I can scarcely believe any of it, but in the best ways. I’m not sure I ever believed we would or could come to an accord like this. I went from despairing the loss of you to marrying you. It is like a beautiful dream._

_Making love with you again after enduring such bitter heartache and loss was like a gift from the Valar. I had a new appreciation for your touch, and your caress seemed to carry a new reverence. It seems silly to me now that either one of us could have ever imagined a ‘one last time’ scenario. I will never have my fill of you. 'One last time' is simply impossible. I’ll always want you. Even as angry as I was after the awful misunderstanding, I still surrendered to you that night in what I had supposed was my dream._

_I’ll never fight against our love again, Thorin. I swear that to you. It goes against everything my body and my heart wants, anyhow."_

Thorin read further down the page, soaking up Bilbo’s thoughts like a sponge whether they were more words of love or merely anecdotal. He had been starving for any scrap of Bilbo; his husband could have written out what he had for breakfast and Thorin would have treasured it down to the handwriting.

_"The ink is fading on my skin where you and Kili put your names on me. Do you remember that?"_

Thorin licked his lips. He had fantasized about that night so often he could recall it vividly without the aid of closing his eyes.

_"While the words were still somewhat fresh, they were noticed by our housemates. I’m frankly not sure how much you might wish to know about how they got noticed, though I will say the story of how they came about--my secret fantasy—is no longer a secret in the household. I’m honestly not sure how much I should tell you about the outcome of that, either._

_It might seem silly, but the more the words fade, the further away from me you seem and the sadder I become. For someone who tried so hard that first bath to scrub them off, I confess to having grown accustomed to them. Having your name on me--the evidence of one of our last games together before you left--made you seem nearer somehow. As the ink disappears, it is like you leaving me all over again, only much, much slower."_

Thorin ran his fingers over the page, as though somehow he could soothe Bilbo across the weeks and leagues. He understood exactly how he felt.

_"We finally summoned up the courage to tell Fili and Bofur about the visions we had regarding our Makers. Thankfully, they immediately believed us as you did. It still sounded embarrassingly fanciful to say out loud, but as one of the two people who experienced it, I cannot imagine how it could have been anything other than real._

_You might be wondering how Ori is faring without his brothers. He is making the adjustment. I think it helps him that his closest family knows about Thodora and Chadham. I’m not sure how secret he has asked Nori and Dori to keep his reasoning once they reach Erebor. Maybe I’ll ask him when I see him tomorrow."_

Thorin knew Dori and Óin had at least told Balin--and Balin had been utterly scandalized by their telling of the tale. A dwarf courting two people…and those people being hobbits besides! He wondered how open Ori planned upon being for the wedding.

_"I know he misses Nori and Dori, but he has admitted to me that he knows his staying behind will be made easier by them each having their own new someones to dote upon. I can’t imagine Nori ever being that mothering—he had told me he would go off and leave Dori and Ori for days upon days at a time—but from what Ori said, Dori had scarcely let Ori out of his sight. Makes me wonder just how Dori maintained his viciousness as a warrior in the meantime. You know how strong and fierce he is in battle. I suppose it just goes to show one can never truly know about people. Dori: Tea and doilies and the blood of his enemies spattering his face."_

Giggling, Thorin shook his head. He could almost hear Bilbo’s voice saying it aloud.

_"My Thorin,_

_Not that you would be able to tell, but I took a break in writing your letter to do a spot of traveling. Before it grew too cold, Kili, Fili, Bofur, Ori, Thodora, Chadham, Rorimac, and I all took a trip to Ered Luin. I don’t know if you remember Rorimac Took—he is my cousin, the one who captured Bifur’s attention. It is fair to say Bifur captured more than merely Rorimac’s attention in turn, which is why Bofur thoughtfully suggested we take him with us._

_The trip to the mountain itself was uneventful, but not so the visit. To begin with, Fili and Kili—duty-bound Princes Of Erebor to the last speck—did their part to share tales and stir up sentiment to hopefully bring another wave of dwarrows your direction when the weather warms. Bofur did his Princely duties as well, using ballad and tale to captivate the hearts and minds of several more. Oh, you should have seen them, Thorin! It would have done your heart good to hear how passionately all three of them spoke of the journey, the fight, and your need for more of your people to elevate Erebor to further glory. It brings a tear to my eye simply recounting it for you._

_Kili and Fili showed me around to the places that had meant much to them--and to you. Kili took special care to make sure I received the closest approximation to the tour you yourself might have given me had you been there. I hope it does not displease you to know that he also showed me where you used to live. I walked through your home and saw where you ate and planned and slept and dreamed up this whole incredible endeavor that eventually brought you to fulfill your destiny as king. I will say I was also very moved to consider how the things you planned inside those walls had also brought you to me. To say it was significant for me is a gross understatement. I will treasure the experience always."_

Bilbo had gone to Ered Luin? Had gone to Thorin’s former home? Thorin was stunned at how relieved and adored it made him feel. Bilbo truly missed him that much, had been thinking of him, and had been moved to know him that much better! Had Thorin’s return to the Shire not been during such a busy (and for a long while, sad time), perhaps Thorin might have taken him there himself.

The news of Bifur’s hobbit still pining for him was unexpectedly heartwarming, too. He had seen Bifur writing on the road to Rivendell, having his quill in the ink as often as Thorin would. Thorin had known about Bifur’s reason for staying behind the day they left the valley and, joyfully, it was only a little over a week ago that Bombur had delivered the news of Bifur surviving and thriving after his procedure. Thorin hoped when his friend returned to Erebor for the wedding that perhaps it would be on the arm of a Took of his own.

The following passages grew more suggestive as Thorin read, more yearning and sensual, until Bilbo eventually gave up all pretense and proceeded to seduce him directly from the page.

_"I miss you. I miss the way your caress sends erotic shivers racing down my spine and how you can stir me up with merely an inviting smile. I miss the wickedly delicious heat of you wrapped around me and that maddening, silken-full feeling when I'm wrapped around your cock in turn. I miss the way we slot together, beautifully perfect despite our differences. I miss the filthy delight of the way you groan and shiver when I say “fuck,” “cock,” and other such words you were shocked I even knew the first few times I uttered them. I adore talking dirty to you, and I love to hear it back just as much. For example, once you said to me that I was so deep inside you that you might be able to taste it when I came. I freely admit stroking myself to that statement a half-dozen times or more."_

Thorin squirmed, growing far too aroused to be this confined, and decided his clothes were becoming an unpleasant hindrance. Undressing brought a cooling rush of ease, but it was not the cure he sought.

Digging back into his hiding spot, he retrieved the long-ignored piece of fur he had once acquired for pleasure. He glanced around nervously, as though Bilbo could see him do something so embarrassing through the letter itself. Dismissing his nerves as ridiculous, he spread out his piece of fur on the appropriate part of the bed. He wrapped the pillow in Bilbo’s blanket as he had before, gathered the letter, and stretched out on his stomach, holding himself up at the elbows to continue reading. After scarcely touching himself for anything besides the utterly necessary for some weeks, the decadent slip of the fur felt fit for the Valar. When he glanced down to the next passage, he had to laugh at how perfect his current situation was for Bilbo’s next recollection.

_"Do you know what I was thinking about today, my darling? I was thinking about that time in Lake Town when I had you on your knees, your face hidden in the pillow as you clutched it to muffle your shouts. The spot you used to bite and growl into was nearly as wet as you were when I had finished fucking you. I recall you had to flip it over to sleep because the one side was so damp. That was a fantastic night, wasn't it? I should like to do it again, and then another time still, perhaps the third one with me under you as you drape across my back and roll into me sensuous and slow. It shall be my turn to moan and drool into the pillow."_

Thorin paused, his mind drifting back and forth between thinking about Bilbo wanking to things Thorin used to say to him and the very clear memory of the lovemaking Bilbo described. He drew his aching erection across the softness of the fur beneath him, quick breaths escaping with each pass. He settled on a single fantasy in which to immerse himself and surrender to the building need within.

Clutching the pillow (and inadvertently crushing some of the letter under it), he undulated, imagining he was back in Lake Town again with Bilbo behind him, _inside_ him, driving them both to their finish in a gasping frenzy. Thorin had not pleasured himself in so long that he did not even need to stroke himself to come, pulsing into the fur. He stayed like that, face half-obscured. The faint smell of Bilbo could still be detected in the blanket wrapped around the pillow and it filled him with each lengthening breath. He had not realized how desperately he had needed the physical release. Coupled with Bilbo’s scent in his nostrils and confirmation of Bilbo’s love semi-crumpled beneath his chest, a strange, ethereal veil of peace settled over him. Only the unread remainder of the letter kept him from the temptation of a nap.

Staying on his stomach, heedless of the fresh dampness below him, he pushed himself up on his arms and smoothed out the papers that had gotten mussed. He had devoured another couple pages before he reached another erotic passage.

_"Kili and I are discovering interesting ways of delivering and receiving pleasure, thanks to a few coils of elvish rope and the carpentry innovations of Fili and Bofur. You already know they wickedly devised this bed to encourage deviant bedroom behavior. I must confess, I've been thinking of what it might be like for you to be restrained, able to do nothing but be stroked, licked, and explored until you could not stand it any longer. Even more than that, I've been envisioning being the one tied down myself, yours to take apart any way you wished. I've imagined you doing filthy things to me until I moan your name, shaking and stretched so taut with delight that my muscles would ache for days. I miss your face, your voice, and your company terribly, it is true, but merciful Eru! How I miss you in our bed! I did not have a long enough reunion with you to hold me over for this time we are to spend apart. I had just gotten you back, only to watch you ride away just as quickly._

_Before I get too maudlin with my thoughts, let me instead share a naughty secret with you. Inspired by Kili’s rather supple limbs, I’ve been working on improving my own flexibility. When you are alone again-"_

Thorin snickered. As though he would not have been alone to devour Bilbo’s words!

_"-I want you to touch yourself while you imagine me slicking you open."_

Thorin made a face, thinking about how he had just gotten himself off. “I might have gotten a bit ahead of you, my love,” he murmured to the letter. He shrugged his eyebrows to himself, figuring at least he’d have a nice wank scenario at the ready for the next time. He continued reading.

_"Maybe you can slick your fingers and do it for me since I’m not there. Pretend it is me, getting you ready. Spend some time stroking your skin with the other hand, enjoying yourself on my behalf. Imagine next that you are on your back and that I have your hips raised, sliding my cock in and out of you as I claim you. I hope you keep your fingers inside and relish the strokes just the way you like them. Take that other hand and pump yourself as you think about me bending over—while I’m still inside you—and taking the head of you into my mouth. Think about that for as long as you like and when you come, think about my mouth still on you, swallowing it even as I’m spilling inside you, renewing our bond. Make an awful mess for me, Thorin."_

Thorin’s cock flexed under him, already rallying from the heady obscenity of envisioning Bilbo’s new talent. He wondered if his own stretching regimen might be applied towards similar endeavors.

_"It is bedtime, so I’ll be winding this page down here. I’ll be taking care of my own stiff prick in a few moments. Think about that, too. I might have some help, which you can either consider, too, if it inflames you, or ignore if it bothers you. As I said before, I must confess I’m not quite sure where we stand with that aspect right now."_

Thorin told the letter, “I’m not quite sure either.”

After a few more pages (and a second immensely satisfying wank which, added to the first, made the mess Bilbo had requested), Thorin gave in at last to the temptation of a nap.

 

 

 

*****

Thorin woke to the rapping of whomever had brought his dinner to his door. Glad to have had the foresight of cleaning up before falling asleep, Thorin only needed to throw on a robe to receive his delivery. He ate contentedly for the first time in a long time. When he finished, he generously refreshed his cup, removed his robe again, and climbed on his bed. He got comfortable again (with Bilbo’s blanket around him and a pillow between the headboard and his back) before he resumed reading.

 _"My Husband,_  
  
_Your letter said you were starved for information about me. I hope all the minutiae and silly tales I have shared so far managed to satisfy some of those needs. Specifically, I can confirm—in case you still are wondering--I am warm and dry, my darling. I am eating exceptionally well, even for wintertime. I think I’ve mentioned before that it was a good year for the growers and we invested in stuffing the pantry and cold cellar as full as I think they’ve ever been. I am visiting around the neighborhood only when necessary, though these dwarrows in our home wish to be far more social than I do for how much chill is in the air. I think they like the neighbors and my relations more than I do…and I know the neighbors and relations like them more than they like me._

_I am happy, though I am also missing you terribly. I don’t write that because you want to hear that. I write it because it is the truth. The others keep me wonderful company, but there is someone I still yearn for. I need my stubborn-arsed king._

_Some of your mentions of my relationship with Kili hurt my heart a little, I must admit. I am glad you’re growing more accustomed to the idea of the unusual nature of my marriage to both of you, truly, but you speak of it as though you are lucky that we bothered with you at all. Do not let yourself believe that. Never, ever forget that this happened because I needed you. It happened because I love you, because I realized I did not want to be without you. I know it took me a while, my darling, but the decision was made quite deliberately. I have loved you practically from the start and although there were months I was convinced our relationship wouldn’t work after the darkness of the siege and what came after, there was never a time I did not love you. If anyone is lucky or fortunate in our scenario, it is me._

_My heart soars and aches all at once to read about your latest stayover in Rivendell. It soars for you freeing yourself at last to experience its beauty. The ache comes from not being there to observe said discovery glittering in your breathtakingly blue eyes. No, we did not explore the valley for the first time together, though it is also my hope that perhaps one day we might yet._

_Oh, those beds! I dream about those beds! Though I’ve had some lovely sleeps (and I adore the bed I have now), I concur with you! There really is nothing like the mattresses in Rivendell. You are a scoundrel, Thorin, because now I’m fantasizing about us making love on one. It would feel so good to be between you and one of those beds, like heaven on both sides! Would you think me wicked if I said I might pause writing here to have a luxurious wank imagining it?_

_Achingly yours,_  
_Bilbo"_

Thorin smiled to himself. The criticism he faced for commissioning elfish craft in the mountain was going to be doubly worth it. Bilbo was going to be astounded to find those extraordinary beds in the royal suites in Erebor!

_"You talked a lot in your letter about home, both as a concept as well as the reality, and how you had been spending your journey back thinking about what it really meant to you. The way you wrote about the Shire pleased me down to the hair on my toes. I had not realized you had left carrying a new love in your bosom! I cannot be too jealous, though, given how much I love the Shire, too. I appreciate it even more after having been there and back again. There were many times between here and Erebor when I thought I might have already seen my last change of the seasons here._

_Moreover, it brings me relief to know that you believe the soul searching you’re doing now to have been inevitable, with or without our love affair. I will admit I still worry that I’ve messed up far more than I’ve enhanced for you. I can almost hear you arguing with me now, so let me tell you I use that voice of yours in my head to remind myself that you left in love with me and as my husband. I know by your letter you are no stranger to those little gnawing doubts yourself—more on those in a moment. Any rate, I think it shows you to be a good person and a good king to re-examine your expectations in comparison to reality and adjust your plans accordingly._

_About the worrisome doubts--I blame myself for your insecurities in regards to us because I have not always given you the best reasons to have faith that I would arrive in the Spring with the heart I had promised you. The rest of your letter shines with such hope, though, and I want you to know and believe your hopes are justly founded. If the rest of my letter hasn’t already given you peace of mind, let this be the thing: I have not changed my mind, my king. I would take back nothing we did in the days before we left—not our lovemaking, not our vows, none of it. We are married and we shall remain married and I have all but climbed out of my skin in anticipation of seeing you again. Put all doubt to bed and believe in your heart that I love you and will see you as soon as I’m able._

_I cannot tell you how delighted I am that the blanket I sent with you brings you warmth and comfort. I hope it still smells like me on nights when this separation gets to be too much. I have nothing that smells of you, unfortunately, but I still remember the smell of your skin so clearly that it scarcely matters. I can close my eyes and see every detail on your gorgeous face."_

With joyfully watery eyes, Thorin paused to sniff Bilbo’s blanket again.

_"You asked after my nightmares. I've not dreamed of the day at the gate since my first vision of Yavanna at Beorn's. It is my belief that she blessed me with their absence. Please do not dwell on those darkest of days, my love. We have been through the fire—and perhaps we both melted a little around the edges when it got too hot to withstand—but we’ve come out stronger for it._

_Speaking of the nighttime, one of my favorite passages in your letter was the fantasy that perhaps we might somehow meet in those beautiful dreams we have about each other. It is a lovely thought. I’ve had stranger dreams and visions come to life, you know. I don’t see the harm in letting ourselves believe perhaps our Makers may yet take pity on us and allow us to tryst in the ethereal...if we haven’t already, unremembered.”_

Thorin smiled, considering his last dream about Bilbo and how nice it would have been if it truly had been an ethereal rendezvous. Further down the page, his smile faded as it was Bilbo’s turn to be melancholy.

_I would not trade what I have with Kili for anything, but I wish we had reached our solution sooner. Perhaps you wouldn’t have to move forward over the next few months trying to keep this secret from the people you love and in whom you would normally confide. I hate that you cannot yet discuss the pain you describe in your letter with Dís, Balin, or Dain. I understand that though Dwalin knows, he disapproves and so he might as well not know anything for all the help he is for you in this matter. The worst part of this for me, even worse than missing you, is knowing that although you’ve got Erebor to keep you busy, you’ve not a single confidant in Erebor to help guide you through the pain of our separation._

Thorin stopped reading for several moments in order to weep. He had expected Bilbo to understand the frustration of his silent suffering, though he had not anticipated the wave of gratitude at seeing Bilbo's understanding written out for him thusly. It made him miss Bilbo even more, which brought on a fresh round of tears.

_"Of course, realistically, I do not think there could have been any other way but the way it happened. I don’t think any of us would have agreed if someone had proposed this situation after the battle, nor during our visit to Erebor, nor even when you arrived in the Shire. So much had to happen for us to see the path. Still, had it happened earlier, we might be sitting in the same room right now. I don’t know why I put myself through it, but I often find myself asking, ‘what if?’_

_It is odd, isn’t it? While I’m reading your apologies and regrets, I want to hush you and tell you to stop beating yourself up over it all. I want to remind you we’ve learned valuable lessons from the pain and that it is not good to continually dwell in such ways, but then I do the same thing to myself. This letter is peppered with apologies and regrets that I’m sure you have been shaking your head at just as I shook my head at yours. I needed you to know, though, and I figure that is probably why you wrote me yours. We needed each other to know we are sorry, we are regretful, we would take away the past pain and fill it up with nothing but love and laughter if we could._

_Just as you said to me, there are so many tears I wish I had not made you shed and I will never be able to apologize enough. Despite our best efforts, I hate to admit the future will also likely not be free of our missteps. I do not wish to tempt misfortune by saying so, but I imagine I shall always find a way to forgive you for yours. I hope you will do the same for me._

_Now, and perhaps it seems silly, I’m going to put a word in the middle of this page. When the ink dries, I’m going to kiss it. When it reaches you, if you press your lips to it, you will receive that kiss._

 

 

 

_HUSBAND_

 

 

 

_Perhaps it is the ale I’ve had, or perhaps I’ve missed you too much, but I hope you did it and felt how much I need and adore you. I still berate myself daily for allowing you to leave the Shire this fall. Ending this letter is proving difficult because no matter how much I want to send it, it feels like another goodbye, somehow. Once, at one of our sadder partings, before we had figured this out—you said to me, ‘I wish you’d stop leaving me.’ I can still see your pained expression, hear your voice as you said it, see the tears you tried to hold back fall down your cheeks. The memory of it has long haunted me. Merely recalling it now has me weeping anew._

_I’m rubbish at taking my own advice, it seems, because even thinking about finishing this letter has sparked my own tendency to dwell on my regrets only scant moments after I said we should stop doing this to ourselves._

_I love you, Thorin._

_I am still overjoyed to have married you and I am proud to call you husband. I can’t see you soon enough. Think of me often, my darling, and know to your bones that I’m thinking of you just as much._

_Loving you eternally,_

_Your Bilbo"_

 

Bilbo’s letter brought Thorin a sense of solace nigh indescribable. In his hands, Thorin held irrefutable proof Bilbo cherished their vows, that he hadn’t forgotten Thorin, that he still loved him, that he hadn’t let go again, and that none of the other dozen or so horrifying things Thorin had imagined had come to pass, after all. Word by word, sentence by sentence, page by glorious page, Bilbo had dissolved Thorin’s fears, replacing each one with a sustaining, bone-deep sense of being wanted, needed, and adored.

Thorin made the decision for one extra very special surprise for Bilbo.

He sat for a long while, simply cradling the many pages of Bilbo’s letter against his chest, discovering with joy that the pages in the middle carried the comforting scent of Bag End even more strongly than his beloved blanket did. Tears came yet again—happy and sad, a mixture of relief as well as intense longing--and he did not bother fighting them. Eventually they stopped long enough for him to dry his face and blow his nose. He was shocked to find he felt better at the end, as none of his tears in recent weeks had given him so much as a scrap of alleviation. He had forgotten what it was like to feel ameliorated by a crying jag.

With another wipe of his face, he turned his attention to the other letters that had arrived with Bilbo’s. He plucked Bofur’s from the group next, figuring it would be best to solve the mystery of its contents sooner than later. Bilbo hadn’t mentioned bonding with Bofur at all in his letter, though anticipation of such news was the heaviest weight in Thorin’s stomach as he unfolded Bofur’s pages.

 

_"Thorin,_

_I’ve never quite gotten over being jealous of you."_

Reading the first line, Thorin barked a laugh. Leave it to Bofur to have the cheek to start a letter so bluntly.

“You and me both, _Bo_ ,” he scoffed aloud.

_"In fact, I’m jealous of you right now. Yet I think of you far, far away, and how you must be missing Bilbo and your lads. Even though I feel the burn of jealousy whenever I see Bilbo stare off into space and know he’s looking at you in his mind’s eye, or resent the adoring giggles Bilbo hums to himself while he writes his letters to you, I remind myself you’re not here to see It and I am._

_To this end, you should know Bilbo wears your bead proudly and sometimes bedecks himself in jewels you personally selected for him. When he is missing you most, he reaches for his quill and absentmindedly fondles that same bead in his hair while he writes to you. Sometimes he simply sits and holds your dagger while he drinks his tea. He often talks about you lovingly in my presence. Indeed, we have had more than one private conversation where Bilbo has poured out his heart about how much he loves and misses you. I’ve no doubt he does it even more when I’m not around. Kili says Bilbo spends a part of every day lovesick and daydreaming of you._

_I suppose you might wonder why I am bothering to tell you about it. We’ve not had the best history, you and I, and I’m still struggling with your part in this odd little equation of ours. I could say the reason for telling you is because you have no way of knowing Bilbo is doing these things and you deserve to. While that is true, it is not the whole of it. Honestly, it is mostly because if our situations were reversed, I would want to know. I would hope you would find it within your heart to set aside the bitterness of our past long enough to realize your good fortune to be there with him in order to see such things when I could not. I would hope you could spare just a moment to tell me how deeply I was missed and how fiercely I was loved so that I might spend the rest of the separation with some small comfort. Since it is me and not you, how I could I do for you any less than I would want for myself? Because Bilbo does miss you deeply, and oh how fiercely he loves you! He loves you so fiercely I can almost feel your presence near him, regardless of your distance._

_Fili and Kili miss you, too, and if I was pressed under the arse of a dragon…well, I might have to cop to missing you a bit, too. After all, arguing with you in person is preferable to dealing with the phantom of your memory when the jealousy strikes. Or maybe—and don’t let it go to your head—maybe I’ve learned to like you a little. Just a little, mind._

_Regardless, it is safe to say your absence is felt deeply throughout Bag End._

_I’m taking care of your lads until you reunite again, don’t you worry._

_Bofur"_

 

Bofur’s letter, wholly unlooked for, was needed more than Thorin could have ever expressed. To know that Bofur took the time to share these amazingly comforting thoughts with Thorin, despite Bofur’s own conflicts with him! Had he not already been intermittently weeping these happy, overwhelmed tears, this letter would have brought them on its own.

He picked up Fili’s next.

 

_"Thorin,_

_I would start by asking you how you are faring, though I do not think you would be able to answer me in writing before I see you again. Instead, I’ll tell you I wonder about you often, how you are doing, how things are going there, and I hope it is all as good as can be expected._

_As for me, these times are confusing. Sometimes, I’m so glad just to be here with Kili, Bofur, and Bilbo, no battles looming, no homeland to retake, no wargs to run from or orcs to fight. Other times, I’m thinking about what I could be doing in Erebor to help you and Mam. For example, I had an idea about possible work exchanges with some our allies, particularly to fill in the gaps while both Erebor and New Dale are attempting to recover skilled tradespeople. I feel guilty sometimes, on extended holiday in the Shire when there is so much to be done where you are._

_Despite that, I must say I’m happier than I can remember being in a long while, though I suppose everything has its challenges. I’m experiencing some of what I suppose Mam would call growing pains. Our current living situation is new to me, still, and is taking some adjusting to get used to._

_I’ll confess, there was a time when I wanted Kili and me to be away from you, to be somewhere he could explore his relationship with Bilbo without your interference, to be somewhere that we were not being prepped and drilled with lessons for our future as heirs. Now, with you gone, I find I miss your lessons, your voice, and even your fond exasperation. I miss being able to sit and talk with you and I especially miss your advice._

_The dynamic between you, me, and Kili changed on our journey from Ered Luin to Erebor. It changed even more this fall and it is my belief there is a level of understanding I had never thought we’d reach with each other, to say nothing of the joy it has brought Kili to finally know it was him being loved and revered that brought you down on him so hard. That has gone a step further, of course, and I have to tell you it is strange for me for many reasons…some of which I cannot yet articulate to share with you, if I would want to put them in a letter at all._

_When I last left Erebor, the thought of returning to her carried an undercurrent of despair. Now, I find myself quite eager to see you, Mam, and our dear companions again._

_I know my reasoning to live in Bag End confused you once, and you have said it confuses you no more, but I will tell you coming to the Shire has soothed my soul in ways I never would have been able to guess. I came here for Kee and wound up finding another part of myself in the process._

_I’m not ready to stay in Erebor yet, I do not think. The Shire is not done with me, nor I it. There’s something about this land, Uncle. Maybe it has something to do with Gandalf, or perhaps it is the reason Gandalf had been drawn to it since before Bilbo was born, and maybe it isn’t as instantly palpable as Rivendell or the foreboding dark powers of Mirkwood, but I think perhaps it might yet be magical in some wonderful way. I don’t know what you rode home to in terms of your office or the stability of your position, but I would suggest you give serious consideration to planning another trip this direction, one without Mam or Dwalin either one. Come spend a season with us simply being Thorin. Aside from the obvious advantage of not being separated from us, the Shire itself would do you a world of good._

_I hope that you arrived in Erebor to the best situation you could have expected in the mountain so that you at least do not have the burden of political turmoil to add to your already heavy heart."_

Thorin had to pause, his eyes too wet and blurry to continue for the moment. He set the letter aside to put his face in his hands, overcome once more. It wasn’t okay in the mountain, not at all, and for reasons Fili would likely never suspect. Fili and Bofur both seemed to understand the heartache of what he had left behind, though, which was more than anyone in Erebor could or would offer, and while the distance was gut-wrenching, their understanding reached across the leagues upon leagues between them and made Thorin feel a little less alone. When his weeping slowed, he picked up the pages again.

_"I’m well aware this distance cannot be easy for you, particularly in light of your recent reconciliation. If it helps you at all, Bilbo misses you terribly. We talk about it, sometimes. Other times, I simply notice it by the look in his eyes. There is an expression he gets that I’ve learned (Kili pointed it out to me, actually) belongs to you and you alone._

_Though I always carry the fear that I might somehow become stuck in Erebor each time I return, you will see me this Spring all the same. I cannot miss Mam’s wedding at the very least, and I am also looking forward to seeing you again. I’m sure we will have many stories to swap._

_Much love,_

_Fili"_

 

Along with the remarkable comfort it brought Thorin, Fili’s letter sparked Thorin’s curiosity, too. He had often considered what a boon Fili’s mind could be to the efforts he, Dís, Dain, and the rest of the council were making in Erebor-- Fili’s thoughts on the work exchange alone made him wonder what other untold brilliance might lurk yet unshared. However, it was the cryptic allusions to the personal situations in Bag End filling him with the most preoccupation at the moment.

To what manner of growing pains was Fili referring? What did he mean by “challenges?” Was all that referencing Fili’s adjustment to being in the Shire? Or was he hinting at the bed-sharing? What was Fili having trouble putting into words or hesitant to put in a letter about Thorin and Kili? Fili had never had compunctions speaking his mind before, particularly where Kili was concerned. Then there was the encouragement for Thorin to visit, leaving behind titles and those that would whisper duty in his ears, to simply go as himself and spend a season--that was the most curious of all. He didn’t think Fili was in any way wrong about the good it might do him—Thorin had been somewhat transformed by a mere month in the Shire despite his encumbrances--but what would have prompted Fili to advocate for such a thing?

…and here he had figured Fili’s letter would be the most innocuous of the group.

Having been fully stunned by what both Bofur and Fili had to say, Thorin eyed the letter from Kili a long moment before opening it.

 

_"Thorin,_

_I feared to hand these words over to someone who was not you, even for their delivery, lest they be read by the wrong eyes. To that end, I thought I might leave names off this, but Bilbo was having none of “such foolishness,” he said. He minced no words in explaining to me that his own letter was incriminating many, many times over and if it was discovered, my little anonymous section would do nothing to save any of us in the implication. I’m almost sorry you missed the exasperated lecture I received, complete with the hands on his hips and_ _the look_ _he gives from under his brows. I know you know the one—it also had the adorably jaunty little head wiggle that makes his hair bounce._

_With more time between you and me and more time to explore my own desires, I want you to know something. I hesitate only slightly in the telling in case you’ve reached an alternate conclusion, because then it will prove embarrassing. However, if you have reached the same conclusion it will seem too cruel not to have shared."_

“Get on with it, Kili,” Thorin muttered.

_“When we first opened our bed, the arrangement was for you and me to be there with our lover. As such, we agreed to be open to touch and to be touched by each other, seemingly because of circumstance. I must say that although it may have been true at the time—or perhaps it needed to seem true for us three to get our bearings—it is not the whole of it any longer._

_I want you._

_In fact, I think of how you handled me, the way you caressed my most intimate place, the way your tongue tasted against mine, and I find I crave you. Oh, it is wicked, wicked, wicked of me, the things I think of regarding you. I know I shouldn’t be thinking of them and thinking that makes me grow even stiffer._

_Your involvement in this--you in my arms, me in yours—may have started under another pretense, but I want…no, I need you to know nothing about this going forward will be an afterthought or a mere convenience to me...if it ever truly was. I’m starting to wonder how soon my body knew that ahead of my brain._

_When we see you again, it is my hope we will not be shy with one another. I have missed you, as I hope you have missed me, and I hope our reunion will be as passionate as my imaginings._

_None of this is unknown to Bilbo. We shall keep no secrets from him in this regard. When I’m done writing you this, I’m going to find him and tell him of this letter, perhaps let him read it, and then we are going to wring each other dry thinking and speaking of you._

_Kili_

_PS We hope you wring yourself dry thinking of us, too. I have just gotten off most spectacularly discussing you._

_PPS That was a (fairly drunk) Bilbo leaving the PS._

Thorin had looked forward to hearing from Kili, missing him as he did, but he had never thought...Durin's Beard, Kili had written him an erotic letter! Indeed, he hadn't expected much beyond him sharing news and the occasional funny story about being a dwarf prince living a hobbit life. Kili's words meant more to Thorin than he could have guessed, both in mind and (especially) in body. He was surprisingly hard, particularly given that he had finished twice already in the span of the afternoon.

Thorin took himself in hand, thinking about Kili and Bilbo in his very room together, perhaps leaning against the wall across from his bed. He imagined himself reaching over and fingering Kili into a moaning, quivering mess while he fucked Bilbo into much of the same. Or what if he and Bilbo both fell on their knees, taking turns at Kili with their mouths? He formed a new picture of himself kneeling in front of Kili, looking up into those _eyes_ , watching his mouth fall open in rapture as Thorin pulled the most tempting whimpers from him. He came shockingly quick.

Cleaning up, he settled back down with the letters and re-read them all again.

After weeks and months of sad pining, he had longed for the barest strand of hope or the tiniest scrap of comfort that might be found in Bilbo’s letter. Not only did he receive paragraphs of love declarations and filthy passages from Bilbo that would help warm him for nights to come, he also received a heartfelt letter from Fili, an unexpected (and very comforting) olive branch from Bofur, and a tantalizingly scandalous surprise from Kili. Given his crushing loneliness and increasing feelings of isolation stemming from the discomfort with Regnad, Thorin could not have asked for more, save for the four of them ride into the mountain in the flesh.

Though there were still long weeks before he would see them again, those glorious pages staunched the bleeding from Thorin’s heart, cleansing, stitching, and salving many wounds…some of which he hadn’t even known were there. Though sad and bitter tears had mixed with the joyful ones, it had still been the happiest day he had known since leaving Bag End.

 

 

 

*****

  
  
  
Thorin awoke early the next morning, refreshed and cheered. After weeks of isolation, he felt as though he had spent the prior day and evening reuniting with lovers, advocates, friends, and kin. He had a heady, renewed sense of self. Though the initial rush might not last all the way through Spring, having tangible pages to quell his doubts and renew his faith would go a long way to keeping him focused.

Fili missed him.  
Kili wanted him.  
Bilbo still adored him.

The majority of his fears outside the mountain were assuaged by those three facts, delivered in the most spectacular ways in yesterday’s mail. Despite their rivalry, he learned even Bofur had cared enough about his soul to share encouraging news.

He felt fortified in heart and mind. Though he would doubtless still feel isolated by circumstances in Erebor, he confidently carried Fili, Kili, Bofur, and Bilbo within him, ready now to face the rest of winter...and no longer needing to face it wholly alone.

 

 

 

*****

As Thorin moved through his day, he took special care to couch his mood, resisting the urges to do things such as lift up Dís and twirl her around when he saw her in the hall. He knew a marked buoying of his disposition immediately after they received letters from the Shire would lead to whispers and concerned looks from Balin, Dís, and Dwalin. Frankly, he had no desire to deal with such nonsense…or field the accusations that would inevitably follow.

His workload was light, despite the break he took the day before, and he was back in his room and ready to craft letters of his own before the afternoon had passed. Calculating, he figured (barring weather or attack) he could get his replies finished and sent in enough time for them to reach The Shire (or perhaps Rivendell, just to be safe) before Bilbo and the dwarrows set back out for Erebor. He wanted Kili and Bilbo in particular to know what he thought of their letters well ahead of the quartet arriving in Erebor. He wanted to minimize the time spent on awkward dances around each other when there were delightful reunions aching to be had.

Thorin pulled out the letter he had been writing since he sent the last one on its way, reading it back over eagerly with what he imagined would be Bilbo’s eyes. At its start, it was a solid counterpart to Bilbo’s own letter, often turning ardent (if not outright obscene). The further he read, the more he perceived how much his hope had wavered over the passing days and weeks. He removed a few pages that were repetitive in their themes of melancholy. As he reached the telling of the incident in the baths, he witnessed his mood turn considerably darker. It stayed that way up through his last stopping point. There were still words of love included within, but they were shrouded in sadness, question, and desperation.

He could not send such a letter to Bilbo, not when weeks would still separate him from Erebor, not even if his lover didn't receive it until Rivendell. Though Thorin thought it was important for Bilbo to eventually read what had basically amounted to his diary these past several weeks, he decided it would be better to give it to Bilbo in person, perhaps after he had spent a week or two getting settled in and reacquainted with Erebor. Besides, considering how badly Balin had misunderstood about Regnad, perhaps it might also be better to try to explain that situation face to face. He didn't know how he could bear it if Bilbo brushed it off the way Balin had...

No.

He could not consider that right now, not when he just had started to climb out of the dank pit in which he had spent the past few weeks. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and shook those noxious fears out of his mind. Instead, he redirected his focus to all the bliss that was currently stacked and awaiting reply on his desk. Thorin decided he would send a new letter filled with joy, love, and seduction to await Bilbo in Rivendell instead.

 

 

 

*****

Thorin loved the smell of the renovations. The fresh wood, recently wrought metals, and even the odd chalky bite of cut stone all stirred him somewhere deep, prized by the echos of ancestors centuries gone but still somehow in his blood. The work they were having done also served as a joyful reminder that he planned to have his husband and family restored at last in the Spring. Prior to the letters, It had been one of the few things that raised his flaccid hope in these long, drawn-out months.

Thorin spoke to the stone engineer, discussing the possibility of an adjoining door on Fili’s and Kili’s suites. While the engineer engaged in a check to ensure it would not be a safety hazard, Dís tugged Thorin (quite urgently) out of earshot.

Horrified, Dís said, “Please do not tell me I heard what I thought I heard.”  
“What did you think you heard?”  
“Are you honestly ordering an adjoining door for my sons’ rooms?”  
“What is the problem with that?”  
“For starters, they are no longer babes that cannot bear separation. They are grown!”  
Thorin shrugged. “I still think they would like it.”  
“They would, I’m sure, but, but-“ she floundered for another reason. “you’re going to have to destroy part of the wall.”  
“Yes, and he is checking to make sure that does not pose an integrity threat. How is that different than anything else we’re doing? We took a whole wall out of yours!”  
Dís pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look, I just…I don’t see the point of encouraging their old habits. Have you forgotten we once found it necessary to turn the house practically upside down to split their rooms in the first place, back when we didn't honestly have the space to do so? Yet here you are, basically putting them in the same room again when we have a whole mountain of possibility at our disposal.”

Thorin thought about the things Dís didn’t know, about Fili and Kili naked together that morning in Bilbo’s bed, about Thorin himself doing considerably more than merely being naked with Kili in Bilbo’s bed. A common doorway seemed the least of things…though Dís’s reaction to this had definitely made him glad he had decided against pursuing giving Bilbo and Kili a suite that could be adjoined with his.

He did his best to soothe her without being untruthful—the lies he already had to tell her were bad enough.

“You said yourself: they are grown now, Kili is married and Fili…well, Fili might as well be. This is not the same room. It is two rooms—two full suites—that are merely privately adjoined. If they wanted to badly enough, they could simply go out into the hall and do the same thing. In fact, you’ve seen the main hallway at Bag End. This is more room separating them here than what is likely separating them where they are living now.”

Dís crossed her arms, scowling to mask her worry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for being here. I appreciate you.


	57. A Kiss To Build A Dream On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin works on one of his many surprises for Bilbo's visit and gets a surprise of his own.

Thorin had been planning for some time to create a garden for Bilbo up on the Grand Overlook. It was certainly a large enough space to accommodate a garden (and then some) without compromising much room nor beauty. The actual planting would have to wait until the final freezes had passed, but the stonework had at last been put in place: a small, secondary wall against a portion of the mountain-side, about two feet deep by two feet tall. On Óin’s advice, he had not yet filled it with soil, though in the middle of trough, as Thorin had been privately calling it, he had included a small platform. Upon the platform rested a centerpiece Thorin had wrought with his own hands. It depicted Bilbo’s favorite parts of nature (coordinating with Bilbo's crown) and had been inscribed in careful places with Yavanna’s runes to act as a shrine. Most dwarrows would not realize its true purpose. Bilbo would know, though, and that’s all that mattered.

Part of Thorin’s reasoning for building Bilbo a shrine to the Hobbits’ Lady was to support Bilbo and show him no matter how fanciful the visions might sound, Thorin believed him. Furthermore, he thought it no hardship to create this for his Maker’s mate in thanks for her part in extending Bilbo’s life.

Thorin was up on the overlook when Balin found him, needing an answer to a minor question. Errand satisfied, Balin stopped short when he turned back toward the door. The plans for the new garden retaining wall had not been unknown to him, of course, though Balin had thought it odd Thorin had suddenly developed an interest in botany. However, seeing it built with his own eyes made him wonder what would move Thorin to make such an obvious change to one of the king’s favorite Ereborian sanctuaries. Shrewd as he was, Balin had his suspicions about it having something to do with Bilbo’s visit, though he was also shrewd enough to keep his mouth shut about it. Thorin’s funk had considerably lessened in severity and Balin was not about to poke the warg, as It were.

Thorin noticed Balin eyeballing the addition.

“Dis is having one built, too,” he noted, “in case you weren’t told. She wants to grow flowers for her wedding adornments.”  
Shrewd or not, Balin suddenly found he couldn’t quite help himself. “And what is the excuse for yours?”  
“Not that I need one, but between Beorn’s, Rivendell, and The Shire, I have developed a stronger interest in surrounding myself with more things that grow. The valley is coming to life, little by little, but it will be another couple Springs before her true lushness begins to be adequately restored.”  
Balin fixed him with a look. “Mm-hmm.”

With his patience for Balin’s suspicions well and truly spent, especially in light of Balin _not_ being suspicious over something far more egregious and deserving, Thorin did not entertain Balin’s tone. Instead, he shrugged.

“I have grown to enjoy the smell of flowers and greenery when I think--and you know I do a lot of important thinking up here.”  
Balin studied him carefully before replying, “Aye, that you do.”  
“In fact, I have some more important thinking to do now,” remarked Thorin pointedly.  
Tightly, Balin replied, “As you were then.”

With Balin gone, Thorin pulled some food from a hidden pocket. He was secretly glad Balin hadn’t caught him in the middle of doing what he was about to do. Thorin had been leaving small offerings of dried fruit at the shrine to Yavanna since the arrival of Bilbo's letter...though, on the whole, dwarrows tended to be more statue/monument people when it came to honoring their own creator. This day, he had been missing Bilbo quite fiercely, rereading his letter and daydreaming when he should have been viewing requisition orders instead. He retrieved a small gem from the same pocket, adding the shiny bauble to the fruit offering, expecting it would most likely be spirited away by the same ravens who had been consuming the fruit. However, with Bilbo’s stories in his mind, Thorin visualized a wish and whispered Bilbo’s name before he went back inside.

 

 

****

Feeling some guilt at honoring Bilbo’s Maker after not visiting the statue of his own in quite some time, Thorin thought it might be good to remedy that.

Mahal’s statue was in what eventually became the treasury. Long ago, one of Thorin’s ancestors began storing the kingdom’s wealth there, partly as blessing and partly as oblation (with the understanding it might at some point be removed and spent…in _tribute_ , of course). Over time, the piles grew and the visible floor shrank. When last Thorin had laid eyes upon the statue, it had been half-buried still in treasure.

Thorin paused at the entrance to the treasure room. It was too vast to reclaim or even to put in order, especially when they needed the skilled bodies elsewhere. For the time being, it had been decided simply to post guards outside the door. Any member of The Fourteen, Dís, Dain, and (of course) the king were allowed in without question or need of paperwork--and allowed out with as much as they could carry at any given time if they deemed it necessary. Even so, Thorin had done his best to avoid it since Bilbo had first left the mountain. It reminded him of when he had suffered the dragon sickness and of the tales he had been told about his behavior as he sought the Arkenstone. Moreover, it made him think of all he had lost—nearly forever. The memories of the pain he endured during his estrangement from Bilbo were still too close. On the occasions he needed to make use of the coin, he sent someone on his behalf.

He took a deep breath and entered, on guard in case any of his former malaise would make a return. As he made his way to where he remembered the statue, he passed a familiar spot and froze. He quirked a small, wondrous smile and swallowed with a throat that suddenly seemed much too small. There had been a beautiful memory made here, just before it had all gone horribly wrong.

 _"This mountain, this hall, and all its treasures have been reclaimed by me, but there is one treasure that I prize above all else and I wish to reclaim it within these walls."_  
_"I missed this."_  
_"I missed_ you _."_  
_"I want to be inside you. I need to claim you again.”_  
_"Yes, please. Mark me as yours within your mountain, my king."_

He lingered, taking a few moments to run the memory in his mind before continuing onward to visit the spot that--at one time--had been deemed sacred to Mahal, Father and Maker. As he had suspected, it was still partially obscured by coins and other valuable things.

“Not much point in making an offering with all the gold and gems in Erebor at your feet,” he murmured. “Perhaps I shall make it so we can once again _see_ your feet.”

Thorin spent over an hour moving the piles at the base of the once-honored statue of Mahal. This manner of work damaged his nails and irritated his hands, but he eventually created a semi-circle of bare floor around the base of the statue. On his way to clearing the floor, he unexpectedly found some magnificent pieces--things that had no business being mixed in with the coins and gems. As delicately wrought as they were, he was shocked they had not been damaged under the weight. By the time he was done, a few of these treasures had found a new home in his pockets.

Thorin stretched out the aches, surveying his work. His eyes flicked to the face of the statue.

"That's much better, don't you think?" 

Before going back to his day, Thorin spent several contemplative minutes with the statue of Mahal in the space he had cleared.

 

 

*****

With three lovers each, the residents of Bag End could not keep up their bedroom pace without requiring an evening of rest.

Bilbo, though enjoying himself with Kili, Bofur, and Fili quite thoroughly, could not help missing Thorin, too. The hand pies Kili had made them for dessert reminded Bilbo of Thorin’s last night in Bag End, teaching Kili how they were made, and that made him miss Thorin even more besides. With Kili’s kind understanding, Bilbo brought half of his treat to Yavanna in the garden as an offering. Though it was a bitterly cold evening, he took a minute to ask for Thorin to be safe until they could be reunited.

“If only we could be together sooner,” Bilbo sighed as he stood, his breath visible in the cold.

Bilbo spent the hours between supper and bed in his writing room, composing verse at first (Bofur always encouraged him to write), but eventually getting out Thorin’s letter for a re-read.

_"I miss you every day and night, only stopping for sleep where I can see you in my dreams. Sometimes I like to imagine we're meeting for real, entertaining some sort of ethereal nighttime visit brought on by the fervency of our mutual longing. Occasionally, I fancy perhaps you might even wake up in Bag End still feeling my kiss on your lips."_

After a time, there was a soft rap on the doorframe.

“Bee?” Kili called gently. “Bo and Fee have already retired and I think I’m heading that way, too.”  
“Okay, dear heart. I’ll be there presently.”

Kili smiled softly and disappeared around the corner.

Bilbo finished the paragraph he was on before snuffing out the candles and joining the others:

_“Isn’t funny, the things that take root in our minds and do not let go? I’ve done many things that have hurt you since we first met, kissed, made love, and so on, things that have kept me awake with the vise-grip of utter mortification in my chest when I recall and replay them, often against my will. One that comes to me often and fills me with core-wrenching regret is not dancing with you when you asked. We’ve only had two other opportunities since, and those shame me by their small number. The list of things I want us to do when we are together again is long, but I swear this, Bilbo: We will dance."_

 

 

*****

_Bilbo did not remember sleeping, nor waking, yet he stood in a strange vastness, feet on solid ground which at the same time was not ground at all. A glimmering starfield was all about him, his favorite constellations softly lighting the darkness. He heard a familiar, beloved voice call his name and whirled around, suddenly coming face to face with-_

_“-Thorin? Am I dreaming? Is it you? Truly you?” he gasped, reaching out but afraid to touch._

_Thorin grasped his hands with both his own, bringing Bilbo’s knuckles to his lips. Oh! Thorin was warm and solid._

_“It seems as though it is_ us _, my love,” Thorin replied._

 _Awed, Bilbo asked, “Did you, did you somehow do this?”_  
_Thorin shook his head minutely. “I merely wished for it.”_  
_“Me too.“_  
_“Wish or not, I'm still quite surprised to find us both here, though your tales of such exploits in the past have prepared me enough that I will not need to spend much time convincing myself of authenticity. In fact, this is the only thing I shall require to prove it.”_

_In a fluid motion, Bilbo was swept into a questing, passionate kiss in Thorin’s arms. When they paused, Thorin rested his forehead against Bilbo’s._

_“It is true, then,” he breathed, fascinated. “We are together and this—somehow—is happening.”_  
_“I can verify it feels real to me and no mistake. Your kiss tastes just as I remember it…laced perhaps with a little more wine. Oh, how I’ve longed for those kisses since you’ve been gone!”_  
_Thorin cupped Bilbo’s face, gazing at him adoringly. “I’ve missed you more than I can express.”_  
_“Thorin! I’ve missed you too. There’s so much to ask you, to tell you! I-“_

_Thorin claimed his mouth again, silencing him._

_“Shh,” Thorin whispered against his lips. “We do not know how long we have. I am dying to know all of your stories, but we’re borrowing this time…perhaps from our very Makers.”_

_It was only then Bilbo noticed the soft music filling the air, seemingly brought forth from an invisible harpist._

_“I have a regret, one I’ve had for a long, long time, and though we’ve remedied it in part, I still think of it often. I should have danced with you every time you ever asked. Will you dance now?”_

_It started with an embrace and a series of gentle steps. Their stance grew lax as their bodies sought each other, moving closer, feet eventually ceasing the pattern but their hips continuing to roll side-to-side to keep time. Soon, the dance grew more intimate still, far less proper than any dance Thorin knew of dwarf, hobbit, elf, or man._

_Bilbo did not know how the two of them came to be unclothed, yet they were naked and pressing to each other as they swayed. Sways turned to undulations as they panted in each others mouths. He drew Thorin’s thigh up to rest against his hip._

_“Yes, please,” begged Thorin._

_Bilbo tugged him to the non-ground and hovered over him, entering him with a slick ease that would be impossible were they not in that place, wherever it might be._

_“I’ve missed feeling you within me,” sighed Thorin._  
_“I’ve missed the way you felt around me.”_  
_“Make love to me, Bilbo._ Have _me, sustain us both until you are in my bed in the mountain.”_  
_“Wherein you shall claim me, my king, as your avowed consort in Erebor at long, long last.”_

_The pleasure mounted as they moved, intense and deep, until there was nothing to do but clutch one another, pulsing and gasping as they finished in turn._

 _After many moments, Thorin rolled them over, gazing deeply into Bilbo’s eyes._

_Bilbo reached up to touch his hair, noting the little patch where Thorin had snipped the braid had grown out long enough to wrap around his finger._

_“I don’t want this to end,” he whispered._  
_“Neither do I.”_  
_“Then let’s keep going, as long as we are allowed, until we wake. I desire you to take your pleasure within me.”_

 _Delighted not to be bound by the limits of a physical body, Thorin ardently complied. It all felt so completely_ real _—as if Bilbo’s actual body was beneath and wrapped around him--down to the luscious sensation of Bilbo’s pulse against his cock. The only thing reminding him of the leagues that actually separated them was the utter ease of coupling repeatedly without the limitations they would encounter in waking flesh._

 _“Is it always like this in your visions and dreams fueled by elvish wine?” Thorin murmured. “No need of slick nor stretch? Always hard and wanting?”_  
_“Not all of my visions have involved sex, but yes.”_  
_“That is a convenient boon, to be sure,” he replied lustily._

_In between sighs and groans, Thorin murmured passionate Khuzdul devotions in Bilbo’s ear. Though Bilbo did not know what they meant, Thorin’s tone was indisputable. Bilbo whispered back his own words of love. Soon, they were beyond words, surrendering again to thrilling, shuddering sensation. This time, when Thorin looked into his eyes, Bilbo could not contain himself._

_“I love you. I should have asked you to stay sooner. You should be home with me right now,” he said._  
_“It does my heart good to hear that, for there was a time my only prayer in the world was hoping against hope you wanted me near you.”_  
_“I do—oh, Thorin! I do want you near me, desperately so! Why did I wait so long?”_  
_Thorin kissed him. “My love, my burglar, my husband…do not punish yourself so. It could not be helped. Please, let us not spend the rest of this time dwelling on such things. I need as much of you as I can get to keep me going until you are in Erebor.”_  
_“Then I shall give it.”_

_Thorin and Bilbo made love again and again, until the inky black behind the starfield faded to a blue that was continuing to pale all too quickly._

_Knowing the end was near, their final coupling was raw and emotional, as tender as it was frenzied._

_With what little voice he could muster as he was speeding towards his climax, Bilbo repeatedly chanted Thorin’s name like a plea for this to never end._

_Thorin--thrusting relentlessly as though somehow his hips alone could stop time--rasped, “This wasn’t just a dream, Bilbo. Promise me you’ll remember that.”_  
_“You promise too.”_

_Thorin grunted, too hatefully close, yet fully aware holding back wasn’t going to keep the morning from happening. Just ahead of his orgasm, he whispered, “I promise.”_

_Simultaneously, they came._

 

 

*****

Bilbo woke up, trembling, with a pool of ejaculate cooling in his belly button and Thorin’s bond freshly thrumming under his skin.

He glanced around, disoriented. The pale blue light ahead of dawn gently illuminated his bedmates, all of whom were sleeping soundly and completely oblivious to Bilbo’s erotic, ethereal adventures with the King of Erebor.

“I promise, Thorin,” Bilbo whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone. I live for your comments, I truly do. Thank you for being here.


	58. Consideration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few snapshots of Bag End as the winter continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time will be moving quicker in these next few chapters, which will be less major plot and more like glimpses into the life of our dwarrows, hobbits, and elves as the winter weeks pass. It won't be long before we get the residents of Bag End on the road to Erebor, where some 20,000+ words already await.

“So, Bee,” ventured Kili as he washed Bilbo’s hair for him.  
“Hmm?”  
“You’re courting Fee and Bo with beads and gifts and exchanges of words of love-”  
“-And a lot of sexual shenanigans, don't forget those,” Bilbo added flirtatiously before a terrible thought dawned. “Are you--oh, Yavanna’s Grace! You’re not thinking twice about your assent, are you?”  
“No! Nothing like that,” Kili reassured him. “I was just thinking, though…when I wanted to court you, my goal was beads, gifts, kisses, and words of love, to be sure, but I also desperately wanted our consummation. Additionally, before we learned homosexual couples could bond physically, the general dwarven idea was one began or accepted a courtship with the intent and hope it would be fully realized into a formal commitment. However, you are married twice over. Where did you see your courtships with Bo and Fee going?”  
“I…” Bilbo was suddenly at a loss for words, swirling his fingers nervously in the water in front of him. “I wanted the words and exchange of gifts and beads to reflect that I was serious about my feelings. I never considered how it might, um, resolve. Are there no dwarrows who court indefinitely, just happy to be in love?”  
“Not before, not that I’m aware of.”  
“Oh,” Bilbo said dejectedly.  
“But,” Kili remarked, “aside from us and Ori, I also know no dwarrows who are courting more than one person or who bed more than one person at a time...and I certainly cannot think of a soul who is living with a husband and two lovers, one of whom is his brother, either. Maybe the courting arrangement with them could be one of those things that is just ours, like so many things are.”

Bilbo was silent while Kili rinsed his hair.

“Do you think I’ve confused them?” he asked quietly.  
“No, I don’t think they are worried about the goal of the courtship; I think they are delighted that the courtship is happening at all. Well, Bo might be looking forward to that conversation with Thorin about bonding.”

Bilbo hummed a small laugh.

Continued Kili, “I only considered the subject at all because we have a history of not considering things enough, sometimes. Well, except for Fee, who considers everything into a fine powder.”

This time, Bilbo’s laugh was boisterous and Kili joined him. 

“Anyway, I like how happy the four of us are right now, Bee, and I want to anticipate any needs to assure we stay that way.”  
Bilbo leaned back into his chest. “Me, too.”  
“I didn’t mean to cause you to fret, though, and I am sorry,” Kili said, kissing Bilbo’s shoulder and caressing his arms.  
“A little self-reflection is not a bad thing, at any rate. I’m still getting used to what different traditions mean to dwarrows versus hobbits, not to mention the things that have no real precedent at all.”  
“Well, dwarvish tradition dictates it is my turn to have your hands in my hair,” Kili said.  
Moving to trade places with him, Bilbo said, “Far be it from me to scoff at it, then!”

Gently soaping Kili’s tresses, Bilbo steered them back to the subject. 

“Speaking of things that have no precedent…”  
“Yes?” replied Kili, drawing out the vowel sound for dramatic, comedic effect.  
“What-” Bilbo paused. “That is to say, this way we’re doing things, the unusual arrangement, the courting, all of it…since it is something that might be just ours, like you mentioned, what if we found a way to commemorate it?”  
Kili grinned, knowing Bilbo already had an idea. “I’m listening, my jewel.” 

*****

Not many days later, Kili presented a small fabric bundle after dessert. He carefully unwrapped it, revealing a handful of small, shiny objects to his housemates. Upon closer inspection, Fili and Bofur were astonished to see Kili had made beads.

Kili read the questions spreading across their faces. “Each is crafted with a symbol Bee and I devised to symbolize the both of us.”

Both Bofur and Fili ran their fingers over them reverently, neither daring to pick them up just yet. 

Swallowing around the sudden thickness in his throat, Bofur softly asked, “These…we’re meant to wear these?”  
“Please know these are not to intended replace the lovely ones you carved on my behalf, Bo,” Bilbo added, “but are rather from us together, something to represent how we have given our blessing as Chosens and are entering this as a couple.”  
“They are beautiful,” said Fili, just as overcome as Bofur was. “How did you arrive at this number?”  
“I have made enough for you, Bo, and…” Kili cleared his throat. “Um, Thorin.”

Quickly, hoping to distract Fili, Kili picked up a couple beads. 

“I made you two quite specifically. Now that your mustache is finally growing back out after the incident with the spider webs, perhaps you might use these to fasten the new braids.”

Fili was only too happy to ignore the mention of Thorin for the time being. 

He said, “I don’t know if they will be grown out enough for that even by the wedding, but I do like the idea.”  
Kili reached out to touch Fili’s hair. “One can go on your braid now and you can save the other for later, if you do ever re-braid your mustache. That is, if you want to wear them.”  
“If we want to wear them?” Bofur interjected, aghast. “How could you think we wouldn’t?”  
"Of course we want to wear them!" said Fili.  
“Then go on, Bee,” encouraged Kili. "Put them in for them."  
“Me?” Bilbo asked. “But you made them.”  
“And you shall fasten them. Seems only right to me,” Kili said. 

Bilbo added the new beads to what seemed a growing stack on each dwarf’s courting braid. Fili caught his hand as Bilbo finished his, kissing it and gazing at him soulfully. 

*****

Later, lounging in the parlor with the third round of the evening’s ale, Bofur lay with his head in Bilbo’s lap, softly singing "That's What Bilbo Baggins Hates" as though it was a love song.

Bilbo pretended to grumble. "Could do well to sing a song about the things I love instead, you know."  
"Well, I s’pose I could rhyme 'going without socks' with 'taking stiff cocks,'" Bofur teased.  
"Why sing the line when we could demonstrate it?” added Kili. “Sounds more fun that way."  
"Indeed," Fili said.

Fili seemed to have been waiting for only the slightest bit of provocation to filthy up their evening, already perching between Kili’s knees and unfastening his trousers. Once past his initial trepidation about it, Fili had not been able to get enough of Kili in his mouth.

Glancing up, Fili noted Bilbo and Bofur watching him with hungry eyes. He licked his lips.

"I'm going to get to you all," he murmured lustily. “If you can wait for me.”

With the promise of such an erotic treat, wait they most certainly did. One by one, Fili finished up Kili, Bofur, and Bilbo, sucking them to completion on his eager tongue—and very nearly coming in his trousers himself. 

Kili and Bofur were ready again by the time Bilbo's turn was done and had been conspiring in whispers.

"Your turn," Bofur drawled, leading Fili down the hall. 

*****

Breakfast was big that morning, everyone famished from expending so much energy the night before. Once served out, the meal fell comfortably silent, as it occasionally did when everyone was deep in their plates. Times like this, Bilbo often caught the tenderness of wonder when he met Fili’s, Bofur’s, or Kili’s eyes, sharing a voiceless musing of, “How did we all manage to get ourselves _here_?”

He smiled to himself, thoroughly enjoying his current bite, his company, and his life. Only one thing could make it better, and he would see him when the weather warmed. Indeed, each day that gave them that tiny, extra blessed bit of sunlight was one step closer to Thorin. 

*****

Returning home from another baking lesson from Mrs. Cotton, Kili was flagged down by Isumbras, who he had not expected to see in Hobbiton that day. Bilbo’s cousin wasn’t a bad sort, of course, but Kili preferred to work up a particular mood to be in his company, one he wasn't especially in at that moment. He was even less inclined toward that mood when Isumbras asked after what was in Kili’s covered food basket. Kili had become accustomed to hobbit ways well enough to know anything less than offering Isumbras his fill would not only reflect rather poorly on him, but the other residents of Bag End as well. Luckily, Isumbras only sniffed the dainties tucked within.

“I’ve got business over at The Dragon and cannot tarry, but I saw you on the path and I said to myself, ‘Isumbras, my lad, you should never miss a chance to Good Afternoon a Prince of Erebor!’”  
Kili smiled. “Mostly Kili Baggins around these parts, if you please.”  
“Of course, of course!” Isumbras agreed, clapping him on the shoulder. 

His merry grin softened and his next words were not nearly as loud as the ones that had preceded them. 

“You know, after both Bungo and Belladonna were lost, Bilbo’s spirit dampened. We had quite despaired it would never return. Oh, he had _some_ fire still, which anyone who ruffled his feathers found out good and quick, but it rarely flared for anything else. If he had continued on as he had before--stuck in his empty smial, nothing changing, never having left to join the road with your band of travelers--who knows if he could have endured? Or what if he had returned from Erebor with his fanciful tales all by himself with no witness? He was already considered eccentric enough—I shudder to think. Anyhow, I'm well aware it takes me a while to get around to making my points, but the point of all this is that I would like to thank you, Kili Baggins. You’ve revived him. Saved him, really.”  
“I assure you he has returned the favor many times over,” Kili replied warmly.  
Isumbras winked at him. “I shan’t keep you. Come ‘round for dinner sometime!”

Kili waved goodbye and continued to Bag End, contemplating the brief and oddly touching encounter the rest of the short way home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, my loves.
> 
> Next chapter is so smutty, I had to write it peeking through my fingers.


	59. Sex Games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8.558 words of smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the areas where the POV gets confusing with the couples, I use **** to note the switches.  
> As things got especially involved, I wound up using **** for individual POVs, too.

Fili glanced over at Kili, whom had also been stripped of his clothes and was in the same predicament: hands bound over their heads with a run of hithlain connecting them to the headboard, their bottoms pulled to the edge of the bed, their outer ankles bound to their respective bedposts, and their inner calves bound to each other and secured to the higher bar that connected the posts. Fili sucked in one of his cheeks and considered how they wound up like this…

Kili—of _course_ it was Kili—had come up with the idea for the four of them to play one of the sex games he and Bilbo had often got up to. With a glint in his eye, Kili explained his idea to resurrect a favorite of theirs they had played before. It was changed a bit to accommodate their number, but the root of it was denial…and reward. They were to avoid sex with each other or themselves for as long as they could stand it. The first one to break was the “loser,” though Kili had added with a wicked grin that there was no such thing as actually losing when the penalties were so delicious. The “loser” would be tied up for the pleasure of the others whom had managed to hold out—and he wouldn’t be alone. He would select someone to join him and the four of them would set about blissfully undoing however many days of tension had built up.

“But what would keep one of us from tempting the others to make them fail first?” Bofur had asked. 

Fili laughed inwardly. Wasn’t it just like his Bo to consider plotting the sexual ruin of his opponents?

“Well, the punishment for trying to get the others in trouble is an instant loss. If anyone tries to seduce someone else into ending the game, it will be them who bears the consequence.”

Fili had considered the endeavor cute…for about a day. Chaste kisses, actually sleeping in the bed, and so on—it was well and good, Fili supposed, but it was too near their self-imposed hiatus to feel as playful to him as Kili had likely counted upon. By the third evening, Fili was too frustrated (and a little heartsick) to put up with it a moment longer. He marched over to Kili, unlaced his trousers, and wiggled his hand inside. 

“Fee! Oh-- _oh, by the Valar, that’s nice_ —mmm, but you’ve lost the game,” Kili said with a moan.  
“Looks that way,” Fili said flatly.  
Bofur laughed. “I don’t think he is very distressed about it, Kee.”  
“I’m not either,” Bilbo added. “So, are we going to call it as Fili breaking or Fili tempting you?”  
“Oh, I think it counts as a temptation for sure,” Bofur said.  
Kili laughed. “Doesn’t matter what we call it. Either way, you lost, Fee. Now we’re going to have our filthy way with you.”  
“Why are you laughing, fool? Who do you think gets tied up with me?”  
Bofur raised an eyebrow. “Well, now. This is a turn of events, isn’t it?”

...So it came to pass that Kili and Fili were naked and bound, side by side, salaciously awaiting whatever was to happen next. Bilbo and Bofur had undressed themselves, too, and Bilbo had excused himself to fetch something immediately after. He reappeared in the doorway with a bottle of oil. 

“Although I love it most of the time, oil dish isn’t very convenient when all the fun is at the foot of the bed,” he announced, holding the bottle up by way of explanation. “At least, _I_ didn’t fancy running back and forth.”  
“Naughty hobbit,” Bofur said approvingly. 

Fili noted with interest that Bilbo walked around to him while Bofur had settled in front of Kili, already sensually stroking his thigh. Fili didn’t mind the exchange in partners, though. He had already had a taste of what Bilbo was like in an exploratory mood and that was without Fili utterly at his mercy. Fili’s cock hardened further (if such a thing was possible) as Bilbo climbed up and insinuated himself along his side. 

**** 

Kili’s eyes locked on Bofur, who was still stroking his thigh, and waited for the next move. He had not expected Bofur to be so keen as to swoop in on him first like he did, which only further piqued Kili’s interest. Bofur’s fingertips traveled upwards, back behind his knee, along the fleshy portion of his calf, and paused where it was tied. Gently cupping it, he placed a series of soft kisses from Kili’s ankle back down the same path again. Ending at the thigh, Bofur reached over for the bottle Bilbo had deposited between the lads on the bed. A quick glance told him Bilbo was not in need of it yet, so Bofur helped himself. 

Reaching between Kili’s legs, Bofur gently swiped an oiled finger across Kili’s entrance and Kili quivered in anticipation. They had not done anything like _this_ before; the most adventurous of their activities with each other had been mutual wanks or frottage. Bofur met his gaze and grinned slyly, licking his lips. He tumped more oil into his hand and set the bottle aside. Using his other hand, he re-oiled his index finger from the puddle in the middle of his palm. 

“How many should I slick?” he asked Kili playfully. “Well, we know you like a thumb, so naturally we’ll have to add that one.” 

Bofur made a show of liberally oiling his thick thumb and Kili involuntarily licked his lips in desire. 

Quirking the corner of his mouth, as though he had been in deep thought and came to a decision, Bofur said, “Y’know, might as well slick the whole hand, I should think.” 

Kili’s eyes could not have widened anymore if someone had been holding them open. 

Smirking, Bofur reached out with the slippery hand and grasped Kili by the cock. He gave it a few long, slow pumps and an obscene groan escaped Kili. 

Bofur said, “Not that you aren’t temping, but I hardly think it is fair to only gain your consent to touch you inside after I’ve tied you up and teased you.” 

While play of this sort did involve the shades of small disappointment that came with taunting and denial, Bofur was not prepared for the twinge of genuine disappointment evident on Kili’s face. He moved to where he could climb up on the bed and straddled Kili. 

Kili thrilled in feeling the heat of Bofur’s bare bum against his own skin. Despite the restricted position, a generous portion of said heat was pressed against his straining, slicked cock. Bofur bent forward, putting them torso to torso. 

“For the record, Kee, for my part,” Bofur murmured in his ear. “Let me give you my full assent now that you can touch me, suck me, finger me, or push your cock into my mouth whether I’m tied up or not.”  
“Bo…” Kili croaked, bucking up against his flesh. The oil on him enhanced the pleasure of the slide and Kili undulated a couple more times, chasing the sensation until Bofur sat upright and forced him still at the hip. 

“Relax and be still. Cor, look at you! You’re an absolute beauty, you are,” said Bofur, smoothing his hands up and down Kili’s chest. “That ring through your navel makes me even harder, and then you’ve got two more besides. Something about a pierced lover simply makes my cock _drip_.” 

Bofur pumped a beat down his erection, pulling up more tightly to reveal beads of arousal at the tip. He wiped them off the top to show Kili. 

“See?” he purred. 

He rubbed the drops across Kili’s lips, the dwarf’s warm, eager tongue darting out (but failing) to catch Bofur’s finger before it retreated. 

“None of that,” chastised Bofur. “You have given me a grand idea, to be sure, but we’ll not try it just yet.” 

Bofur continued stroking Kili’s chest, taking his time to worship each of the nipple rings especially with his mouth. 

***** 

Bilbo ran his fingers lazily through the hair on Fili’s chest for several long moments as though they were lazily cuddling at the end of a romp instead of beginning one. Fili sucked in a hasty breath to point out just that but Bilbo spoke before Fili had a chance to. 

“Fee, how lovely you are! I could spend hours just looking at you and caressing your skin.”  
“H-hours?” Fili had hoped this wasn’t the plan.  
Bilbo hummed. “Among other things, of course. Don’t think I could resist a few tastes as I went.”

He licked at Fili’s pierced nipple. 

“This one is the one that’s mine, isn’t it?” Bilbo asked.  
“It is the one you share, which hardly seems right now to tell you the truth.”  
“Well, you can’t very well grow a third nipple to thread, so sharing will have to suit me fine…which is convenient since it does.”

Again, Fili opened his mouth to speak but Bilbo picked that moment to shift and kiss him more aggressively down his torso. Fili closed his eyes in anticipation of Bilbo reaching his cock—Fili _needed_ to feel that mouth on him—but Bilbo’s lips re-routed back up the other side of his torso, this time achingly slow. 

**** 

“Please, just touch me already!” Fili and Kili impatiently ordered their lovers in unison. 

All four of them paused, trading glances with the opposite couples before bursting into giggles. 

“These two are awful bossy for a couple of lads all tied up, aren’t they?” chuckled Bofur. 

Bilbo had sat upright and crossed his arms. 

“I thought this was to be a penalty,” he said. “How does bringing you to a pounding orgasm when you demand it count as a penalty?”  
“It wasn’t even my game!” Fili argued.  
Bilbo regarded a flushed, hard, _wet_ Fili and said, “You agreed to it, though, and it was your ending of it that put you in the predicament you are in right this very moment. However, the benefit of being myself or Bo in this scenario is that you get pleasure at our discretion and right now, I very much happen to wish to get on with it. So much so, I think, that I’m going to prepare you so that Bo and I might trade places and properly commence.”  
“Oh? What would that entail?” asked Fili hopefully.  
“Getting you ready to be fucked.”

A small, embarrassing noise escaped Fili’s throat. He still wasn’t _quite_ used to Bilbo saying such blunt, filthy things to him and Durin’s beard—did he love it! 

Bofur, meanwhile, still had not moved on from worshipping Kili’s chest and piercings and Kili was about to go out of his mind. 

“If Bee is readying Fee for you, shouldn’t you be considerate enough to return the favor?”  
“I told you-“  
“-I know, but _please_.”

Something desperate in Kili’s tone caught Bilbo’s attention. 

“He _is_ asking so nicely, Bo,” Bilbo said. “Perhaps you could prepare him for me, especially considering how tremendously selfless I am being by slicking up your husband for you.”  
“You are so very selfless, it is true,” Bofur said to Bilbo, grinning and rolling his eyes. He turned his attention to Kili and grew more serious. “Kee…”  
“Please,” Kili whimpered. “Please.”  
“It isn’t that I don’t want to. We’ve not done that before, though, and it simply isn't fair to violate you when you’re stirred up and helpless.”  
“But my desire isn’t new! I've been thinking about it, hoping we might go there soon. I want it, I've been wanting it, and it makes it hotter somehow that it is like this. Bo, I’m begging you, _violate_ me.”

Damned if _that_ it didn’t go straight to Bofur’s cock. 

Though he liked to think himself a controlled dwarf, he was not made of stone. 

Another soft, sweet, pleading sigh of Bofur’s name dissolved the last thread of his will. Bofur pitched forward--scant breaths from Kili’s face—and looked into his eyes. 

“You want to be violated by me, aye?” asked Bofur, voice as deep and plush as velvet.  
Kili moaned.  
“That doesn't just mean a little fingertip, how d’ya do, does it?”  
Kili shook his head vehemently.  
“You want me to open you proper, don't you? Prepare you to be fucked?”  
“Yes.”

Bofur closed the distance between them, kissing him obscenely before he dismounted both Kili and the bed. He snatched up the bottle of oil and slicked his fingers again, this time with purpose. 

Kili’s breath hitched in anticipation. 

**** 

“Bee!” cried Fili. “Fuck, don’t stop!” 

Bilbo had not bothered starting slow for Fili. With his body pressed tight to Fili’s side, his head on his chest, and an arm straining between his legs, Bilbo pushed two oiled fingers in without additional preamble. From there, he pressed, patted, pulled, and otherwise employed his favored tricks to get Fili mewling and writhing on the bed. 

Fili leaned his mouth close to the top of Bilbo’s head and whispered, “I love to feel you inside me.” 

Raw desire shot through Bilbo, taking his breath away in the process. 

“Fili,” he moaned. 

Fili’s hips twitched. It drove him wild when Bilbo was moved (or gone) enough to use his given name. 

Fili panted, “I can’t get enough of you.”  
Lifting his head to look into Fili’s eyes, Bilbo breathed, “The things you’re saying, the images you’re putting in my mind…who is supposed to be seducing whom, here?”  
Fili grinned wolfishly. “Being bound doesn’t mean I’m without my wiles.”  
“I should say not.”  
“And delivering my dubious ‘penalty’ doesn’t mean you cannot be affected by the wants of your flesh either.”  
Wetting his lips, Bilbo replied, “Quite the opposite, actually.”  
“Kiss me, then, and tell me what sort of images are running through your mind to make you so flushed and sweaty.”  
“I can’t reach your mouth and stay inside you at the same time.”  
“Then the kiss better be especially worthwhile.”

Bilbo relentlessly claimed Fili’s mouth, knees on either side of his torso, rolling his hips against him. They gasped against each other’s tongues from the enticing friction. He drew back, a wildness building under his skin. His own mood seemed painted across Fili’s face, body, and the wanton look darkening his eyes. 

**** 

Bofur had started slow for Kili, unsure if he had his brother’s proclivity for the rougher passions. Kili responded beautifully to the gentler touch, arching his torso sensuously, straining slightly against his rope—but notably not freeing himself. 

Bofur’s attentions were hatefully divided. If only he could concentrate on the tantalizing rapture flitting across his lover’s face without missing glimpses of that sweet, pink tongue or his strong chest rising and falling—the bits of metal catching the candlelight—with each gasp. Would that he could study those things at the exact moment he appreciated the ripple of the muscles along the length of _that body_ , Kili’s scandalously hard prick oozing with want, and the perverse sight of two of his own digits disappearing inside his inviting little hole. And the feel! He needed a whole other Bofur just to properly savor the feel of Kili, hot and close around him, heartbeat against his fingertips and moans vibrating around them. It was all too luscious-- he hated that he could not be fully immersed in each and every component individually. 

Feeling a keen ache in his groin and his core spinning quite out of control, Bofur withdrew from Kili. Glancing over to Bilbo and Fili, he took a breath and tried to ground himself. Bilbo was already looking back at him, damp lips parted irresistibly. Another breath and a better look gave him insight; Bilbo and Fili appeared to be struggling to contain their frenzy themselves. 

Bofur reached for Bilbo and they fell together, kissing frantically. 

**** 

Kili watched Bofur and Bilbo kiss as though their lives depended on it, pausing for murmurs and serious glances towards himself and Fili. He turned his head and caught Fili’s gaze momentarily before trailing his eyes once more down Fili’s body, noting the strain of arousal evident from top to toe. While he didn’t begrudge Bilbo and Bofur their fun, he itched to feel Fili’s flesh against his own, to taste his kiss, to be a part of the game _with_ Fili, not merely next to him. 

Bofur’s voice pulled him from his reverie. 

“Bee has an idea for the two of you. We’re going to ask you to tug on your ropes to loosen yourselves and re-tie you on your knees, chest to chest.”  
“What?” Kili asked, incredulously.  
Bilbo mistook Kili’s astonishment and shrugged. “I saw the two of you stealing surreptitious glances as we went and Kee, you have this, this _look_ on your face…I thought perhaps you might enjoy the game a little more if you could touch each other.”

Kili felt a surge of affection. How did Bilbo seem to just _know_? 

“Please, yes,” Fili moaned in reply, pulling his rope free from the head board and shaking his hands to let loose the rest of the knot. “I’ve been peeking over at Kili, both of us about to burst, and I’ve wanted to kiss him so badly.”  
“Kee?” Bilbo asked him, uncertain.  
Kili tugged all three of his ropes until they gave way. “I think you are some sort of hobbit mystic with the way you read minds. I was just thinking almost those exact thoughts.”  
Bilbo smiled bashfully at the praise. “I thought perhaps you were.”

Now temporarily free of the ropes, Fili snatched Bilbo, burying his hands in his curls and pulling him into a dominating, heated kiss. 

“I had to, Bilbo,” murmured Fili. “I’ll go back to playing the game now but I-I simply _had_ to.”  
“S’quite alright,” Bilbo replied, a little breathless. 

Kili hadn’t yet shaken the coil fully from his wrists, having been more interested in working the comfort back into his legs. Bofur unexpectedly crawled across his body, pushing his loosely bound wrists once again over his head. As he worked to finish unwinding the last little bit, Bofur spoke low and dangerous into Kili’s ear. 

"Soon, I am going to press my fingers to your lips and when I do, I want you to show me how you would suck your king. Make me feel what you wish you could do to him." 

Kili's insides _quivered_ with a rush of lust. Since the confession Bofur had coaxed from him in that particular moment of carnal madness, Bofur had kept Kili’s secret about Thorin quite well…but he often enjoyed using it in private whispers like these, timed at the perfect moment to build his arousal. 

After a short discussion—and a considerable amount of Fili and Kili kissing each other--Bofur and Bilbo had re-tied Fili and Kili on their knees, chest to chest, binding their arms at their sides and securing them to their respective thighs. Their thighs were bound to each other’s and thoughtfully spread (after working out a height issue for Bilbo’s next plan). The final knots were not made until Bilbo smeared them rather generously across the stomach, cock, and hips with oil. It was a downright fiendish addition--and Kili approved enthusiastically. 

**** 

Bofur pressed himself to Fili’s back, smoothing his hands over his biceps. 

“Hello, my golden one,” he purred. “Did our beloved treat you well?” 

He swept hair off Fili’s nape and kissed it. 

“Give you pleasure?” 

Bofur’s hand dipped between Fili’s buttocks. 

“Split you open for me?”  
“Yes,” Fili sighed, twitching against Kili.  
“What do you think I should do next?” he asked. 

Fili tilted his head back. 

“Fuck me.”  
“Let me tell you,” Bofur murmured into Fili’s ear. “I’m more than ready.” 

With more oil to ease the way, Bofur positioned himself and pressed in, leaning his torso back to help with balance. Kili had nearly had him fit to burst to begin with, then Bilbo gave him that pornographic kiss right before coming up with this even _more_ pornographic scenario, and on top of it all, there was the whole alluring process of making it happen. Bofur mused it might only have been the awkwardness of their positioning that kept him from coming nearly the moment he was fully engulfed. 

“Mahal, I needed that,” Fili exhaled. “I didn’t think I could bear one more second without either fucking or being fucked.”  
Bofur couldn’t help but chuckle. “You stole the words right from my mouth.” 

**** 

Even with the forethought, Bilbo had a little more work to do to be able to reach Kili properly enough to get his cock inside him. After a small slide downward of the rope, a little more spread at the knee, and a pillow for himself, Bilbo finally could reach best. He didn’t speak before he slid inside and neither did Kili; no words were needed. 

As Bilbo stroked, he felt Kili reacting, attempting to move with him. The thrum of Kili’s deep groans around his prick (and a peek of the pleasure on Fili’s face over Kili’s shoulder) told him the oil between did the job of facilitating the right amount of slip to properly stimulate. He only hoped he could hold out long enough to thoroughly enjoy it. He had already been close to climbing out of his skin with desire before he had Kili wrapped around him! Now he had that, the view of both Fili and Bofur, and the chorus of ecstasy between the four of them that would no doubt build as they went. 

**** 

Kili felt Fili move against him, his erection sliding over Kili’s slick stomach, hip, and sometimes prick. It was wonderfully frustrating. He craned his neck forward, lips parted, meeting Fili in the middle and licking into his mouth. They grunted together--kissing while doing their best to rut--and foremost in Kili’s mind was that they were both being taken by their lovers in turn. That familiar wave of arousal tinted with shame that _nice dwarf lads simply didn’t do things like this_ crashed over him, the taboo nature of it not remotely effective in clouding the want coursing through him—quite the opposite, actually. 

“Am I deviant?” he gasped into Fili’s mouth.  
“As much as I am,” Fili replied, tongue straining for another taste.  
Kili let him have it before speaking again. “That bad, huh?”  
“Fuck, I want you.”  
“Me too,” Kili said, grinding again. 

This time, instead of pushing into Kili’s mouth, Fili dove for his neck, sucking a mark. 

“Yes, Fee,” Kili breathed. 

His eyes caught Bofur’s and he could have sworn Bofur winked at him just a moment before Fili rocked hard against him and threw his head back with a cry. 

“Bo, Kee…Durin’s Bloody Axe, what are you _doing_ to me?” 

**** 

Bilbo did a blissful series of maneuvers that had Kili panting and too distracted to notice Bofur had reached over Fili’s shoulder until he felt two warm fingers against his mouth. His gaze snapped to Bofur’s. The heat he saw in those deep, earthy eyes might have been enough to send Kili to his knees if he hadn’t been there already. Kili pulled the digits between his lips. 

Closing his eyes, Kili relished the glut and filth of getting fucked with a full mouth. Rubbing against Fili's abdomen as best he could, he let the sensations and the forbidden fantasies pull him closer and closer. He tried to envision what Thorin would look and taste like as he demonstrated his skill around Bofur’s fingers. He imagined in vivid detail how Thorin might come in his mouth and it brought Kili perilously close to his own finish. 

Bofur guttered a cry, abruptly changing the picture in Kili’s mind. Kili now imagined it was Bofur in his mouth, managing somehow to get his lips around that beast of a cock enough to get Bofur off. Kili thought about how much Bofur always spilled--what it would be like to swallow that much, what each of those pulses might feel like--and suddenly he was coming too. 

**** 

Already pulled taut by the profane events leading to the moment, Bilbo strove to bite back his rapacious impulse to pump relentlessly until he spilled deep inside Kili. The teasing that led them here hadn’t affected Bilbo alone, though, and even with his confines, Kili did his best to push back. Bilbo grinned to himself when he considered how _obliging_ the lubrication against Fili’s abdomen must be on the other side of that thrust. 

Spurred on by the tight desperation he could feel growing in Kili’s muscles (and the lewd noises escaping all three of his companions as the pleasure grew), Bilbo alternated between chasing and staving off his own climax. Just when he thought he might not be able to outlast Kili, he felt the tell-tale rhythm of Kili’s orgasm tightening around him. Bilbo stopped fighting and let himself go, half-giggling in utter relief when he finally came. 

**** 

Kili’s eyes met Bofur’s with complete understanding and he wrapped his lips around his fingers without question. Instantly, there was suction and the magnificent tease of the tongue. Kili closed his eyes and looked to be in utter bliss. Bofur often loved to taunt him about Thorin because it conflagrated Kili’s desire—and this time was not even close to being an exception. Bofur knew what it was like to want what he couldn't (or shouldn't) have and was all-too-familiar with how it burned the blood and hardened the cock. As Kili worked his magic, Bofur found himself prickling with sparks of envy. Would that Kili wished to suck _him_ like this! 

Fili warmed around him and Bofur renewed his stroke, the bolt of pleasure forcing a particularly loud groan from him. He was going to have to pace himself a bit better or he was going to come before Fili. 

**** 

With thickness of Bofur stretching him at this angle, Fili had been riding that maddening edge of stimulation that so often led to him finishing from the penetration alone. Slipping against Kili’s skin added its own dimension, Kili’s moans and gasps added another, and watching Bilbo as he valiantly fought off finishing added another still. 

Kili wailed around Bofur’s fingers and pulsed to his finish between their bodies, adding renewed, perverse slickness and sending Fili further down his frenzied spiral of lust. He was close, twisting and struggling for just a little more stimulation—front or back, he didn’t care as long as it got him there. 

Unrestricted now, Kili stretched forward and latched onto his neck, sucking hard. At the same time, Bofur took the fingers most recently in Kili’s mouth, threaded them into Fili’s hair, and pulled him back hard, further exposing his neck and biting the other side. One last glide of Bofur’s thick, hard cock pulled past Fili’s sweet spot and the coiling, exasperating pressure exploded magnificently. Fili shook, choking on his breaths as each successive shudder rolled through his body. Bofur’s voice rasped into his hair, praising him repeatedly. Moments later, a new surge radiated under Fili’s skin as Bofur finished and sent his imprint racing through his blood. 

**** 

Bofur and Bilbo disengaged from their respective partners, both of them glad for some freedom of movement. In order to have Fili and Kili tied in such a manner, the positions Bilbo and Bofur had needed to assume were demanding. In fact, though Bilbo was having a fantastic time, he thought his attentions in general had been a bit too divided for the nature of the game they were playing. 

“I’m feeling spread a little thin, Bo,” Bilbo confessed. “What would you say to narrowing the focus a bit and only restraining one lover for the next part…assuming we want another, that is?” 

Bofur raised his eyebrows in approval. 

Kili had been resting his head on Fili’s shoulder, but looked up to answer Bilbo’s question. 

“It is still early. I say put me down for another go,” he said.  
“Me, too,” Fili added. “Why do you think we’ve not undone ourselves?”  
“In that case, Bilbo’s suggestion might not be a half bad idea. Fee, Kee, what would you say to picking who stays tied as we continue? Sound fair, Bee?”  
“Seems fair enough to me,” agreed Bilbo. 

Kili and Fili gave a couple tugs and their bonds unknotted. As they finished unwinding the rest, they whispered and giggled between themselves, glancing from Bofur to Bilbo, and then going back to whispering and giggling again. Once the rope was separated and smooth again, Fili pushed Bofur back on the bed. Kili had hopped off the other side and gone around to tug on Bofur’s legs, pulling him so that his bottom would be even with the foot of the bed. 

“Oi, what’s this?” Bofur questioned. “I meant pick which one of _you_ gets tied back down!” 

Fili leaned over and kissed him on the forehead before tugging his wrists together to wrap. 

“You should have been more specific, then, my darling.”  
Still sputtering in surprise, Bofur said, “Why me?”  
“Well, to begin with, so far you’re the only one who hasn’t been on the receiving end of this and we think it is high time you did,” explained Kili.  
Fili said, “In addition to that, you’re an obscene, lecherous jokester and we have agreed it is also long past overdue that we get a little of our own back.”  
“Well, they’ve got you there, Bo,” chuckled Bilbo.  
Bofur fixed him with a look. “I suppose you won’t be rushing to my defense, then?”  
“Not likely. More like I’m anxiously awaiting my turn.”

Bofur glanced up as Fili secured the wrist line to the headboard. 

“All my lovers turned traitor,” he said. “I must say I’m a little hurt, fellows.” 

The rope stayed tied, even as they hoisted his legs. 

“And yet the hithlain holds. Isn’t that odd, now?” teased Kili.  
Fili put his hands on his hips. “Either you’re the first failure of our magical rope or your mouth has no idea what the rest of you actually wants.” 

Bofur grinned, no longer shamming to be offended and not a bit sheepish to be called out on it in the first place. 

Grinning back, Fili told Kili, “I told you it was a good idea.”  
“Shouldn’t you two clean up?” Bilbo said, eyeing the mess on their stomachs.  
“For what? Just to do it all again?” Kili asked. 

He reached over to Fili, using both hands to rub as much into the skin as he could before doing the same for himself. 

Proudly, he said, “There. That’ll do for now. Fee and I will fetch fresh water for the basin when we’re done and clean all four of us up, how about that?”  
“Hey! How did I get dragged into chores?” Fili argued. 

There was a loud, very pointed clearing of a throat and Bilbo, Kili, and Fili turned to look at Bofur, almost comically helpless on the bed. 

“Could we perhaps fret about these things after we blow my mind, lads?” Bofur asked.  
Fili smirked, “Oh, look who thinks he gets to give orders.” 

He shot Bilbo and Kili a meaningful glance; he was going to go first. 

**** 

Fili stood at the end of the bed, reaching both arms between the V formed by Bofur’s legs to slowly caress his hips. 

Glancing down at his mostly soft member, Bofur said, “I, ah, haven’t quite bounced back yet.”  
“That’s okay. We won’t need your erection for a while.”  
“We—we won’t?”

Slowly and deliberately shaking his head, Fili wore a wicked smile. 

“No, we won’t.” 

**** 

Bilbo kissed Kili, nudging them back onto the mattress without breaking their contact. Kili was happily soothed by the tenderness, given what came before it. Bilbo’s lips trailed softly across Kili’s cheek until he reached his ear. 

“Still fine, dear heart?” he whispered.  
Kili hummed in affirmation. “Quite, though that doesn’t mean you don’t have rush off right away.”  
Bilbo grinned and Kili could feel it against his skin. “I think we’ll be in line a bit longer, anyway, as these things go. Was it fun for you?”  
“Yes,” replied Kili, wrapping his arms around him. “Letting Bo crawl around on me was an arousing adventure for sure, but I must say your additions were also especially inspired. And yourself? How was it with Fee?”  
“I think you already know.”

Kili bucked up against him, noting they were both already growing stiff again. 

“I do,” whispered Kili. “I looked over at you, just before we switched. You appeared nigh onto feral.”  
Biting at Kili’s earlobe, Bilbo whispered back, “I was. It took all my restraint to make sure you were taken care of too.”  
“You wanted to use me, didn’t you? So frantic to get off you just wanted to pound me until you came.”  
“Yes,” sighed Bilbo, grinding into him again.  
“Fuck, you could have. Fee had you half out of your mind, I would not have held it against you.”  
“Kee…”

Bilbo fiercely claimed his mouth. Merely speaking of it, Kili had him half-frenzied all over again. Kili urged his head down, his turn to whisper. 

“May I tell you a secret?”  
“Yes.”  
“Bo had me just as wild. I _wanted_ to be used by you, tied up and helpless, feeling your bond shoot through me as you took what was yours with no other regard.”

They were sliding together, now--going through the motions as they spoke of the act. It was quite tempting for Bilbo to simply slip inside Kili and have another turn. 

Instead, Bilbo asked, “How did you like the new…developments?”  
Kili breathed deeply in consideration. “It was so good. I--I can almost still feel his fingers inside me.” 

Bilbo pushed up on his forearms to study Kili’s face. 

“Oh,” murmured Kili, distressed. “Does that upset you?”  
“No, dear heart, it doesn’t. I encouraged it, if you’ll recall.”  
Reaching up to touch Bilbo’s face, Kili smiled softly. “Good.” 

**** 

After several playful touches, Fili had finally slicked his fingers and slowly, delectably slipped them inside Bofur. Bofur was not sure Fili had ever spent so long to spread him a mere two digits wide. His prick had rallied admirably and then some, arousal glistening in the dark, thick hair trailing down from his navel. He had gone from wry bantering to panting soft devotions (and the occasional swear, when Fili delightfully touched him _just so_ ). He wasn’t sure if Fili meant to make love to him, to tease him, or to make him come some other way, though he was especially partial to both the first and last items on that list. 

Fili noticed Bilbo and Kili had at some point stopped their feverish rutting and were now cuddled in, watching him and Bofur with interest—particularly between their legs. Smirking, he withdrew. 

“Seems unfair for me to spend all night with you myself, not when you’ve got two more keenly awaiting their own turn. Don’t you think?”  
Catching his breath, Bofur recovered enough to rasp, “Far be it from you to be rude.”  
Laughing, Fili said, “That’s my Bo!”

**** 

Bilbo walked around the bed, pulling the foot bench up to the edge of the bed so he could perch on it. Slicking his fingers, he gently traced around Bofur’s entrance, relishing the shiver that went through both of them. He dipped in just a touch, finding Fili had been thorough indeed. Pushing a little further, he was rewarded with a soft sigh of his name. Bilbo picked up the oil bottle again and swallowed hard around the desire in his throat. 

He slicked his erection slowly, quiet moans escaping him from the pleasure of his own touch. He balanced and positioned himself, tracing the head of his cock over Bofur’s entrance with a deliberate pressure. He locked eyes with Bofur and his heart pounded from the memory of the want, the _need_ he felt the day Bofur did this to him…the same want and need he felt right now. 

**** 

Fili and Kili had largely ignored Bilbo and Bofur for the moment, taking the opportunity to use their hands after the intensity of being tied together without the ability to touch. Kili noted with some chagrin that Fili’s throat had come out of that encounter far worse off than it had gone in. He had been placing gentle, soothing licks and kisses to the bruising skin when a series of rapid taps on his shoulder told him Fili quite urgently wanted his attention. He looked to Fili first, who nodded for him to look towards the other couple instead. 

The scene looked astonishingly familiar, though the players had switched places since Kili had last watched this play. The gaze Bilbo and Bofur were holding was filled with enough heat to burn down a forest, sending erotic shivers up Kili’s arms and down his legs and raising the hairs there as they went. 

“Do you think he’ll…?” Fili asked, scarcely even a whisper. 

Kili shook his head slowly and tilted his mouth carefully towards Fili’s cheek, as though any movement on the bed at all might ruin the moment. 

“It’s a re-enactment,” Kili whispered back, as softly as he could manage.  
Reverently, breathed, “By the Maker!” 

Kili nodded imperceptibly in agreement. 

**** 

Bofur observed Bilbo position himself with wide, adoring eyes. He knew exactly what Bilbo was doing and it stirred him to his core. Bilbo glanced up to catch his gaze, then Bofur felt _it_ : The soft, plump, intimate skin brushing Bofur’s most sensitive place, followed by the tiniest bit of pull against the opening as Bilbo smoothed over the entire edge. Bofur swallowed a gasp. Bilbo added a little more pressure, just enough to begin the stretch, and repeated the circle again…more slowly the second time. Breaths coming more shallow now, Bofur swallowed thickly in thrillful passion tinged with disbelief. This must have been what it felt like from Bilbo’s end last time, he supposed, and it was indescribable. All he could do was _feel_ , his mouth too wet and his throat too dry, as his heart pounded in his tightening chest. He could hardly bear the intensity—or the uncertainty—yet he relished them all the same. 

The drama of the moment was only increased by what had transpired since the last time they found themselves in a similar situation. So many confessions and permissions had been given since then, to say nothing of Fili and Kili sitting right there as witnesses. Even Thorin had once given his assent. Would Bilbo dare? _Could_ he dare? Bofur already knew he lacked the will to stop him. 

**** 

Bilbo shuddered out a long breath and sat up straighter, backing away from the tight temptation. He sucked his cheeks close to his teeth and set his mouth in a line, the tiny quiver there only known to himself. He blinked rapidly and motioned Kili over with a tilt of his head, indicating he should take his place. 

**** 

Stunned, Bofur watched the heavy veil of disappointment fall over not only Bilbo’s face, but his whole body. Bofur lauded Bilbo’s restraint even as he marveled at its cost. 

Before he surrendered Bofur to his new lover, though, Bilbo pressed against Bofur’s side. Bofur felt the warmth of Bilbo’s breath against the shell of his ear as he spoke. 

“I would love to feel your fuck,” he whispered, bringing Bofur’s own filthy promise back to him. 

Bofur licked his lips, hardly able to breathe. Before any more could be exchanged between them, Bilbo had backed away, giving Kili room. Bofur’s gaze strained to find Bilbo’s for one more second, but was unable to do so before Kili’s hands on his skin pulled his attention back. 

**** 

Insinuated between Bofur’s legs, his own knees on the foot bench as Bilbo’s were, Kili stroked lightly along Bofur’s shaft. 

“Let’s see…you said I could touch you…” he purred. 

Kili drew his fingertips back, feathering down his stones and dipping inside the crevice to tease at Bofur’s arsehole. 

“…finger you.” 

Bofur’s breath audibly hitched and Kili savored the tremble that rippled through his captive lover. Changing direction, he stroked his hands up Bofur’s thighs before backing of the foot bench entirely. He walked around and climbed up on the bed, straddling Bofur’s chest. 

“But I think…I think I like the idea of pushing my cock into your filthy mouth the most.” 

Kili and Bofur regarded each other as the words hung in the air between them. This would be another intimate change for them—the second such in a single evening—and a sizable step that Kili and Bofur both knew Kili would not be reciprocating anytime soon. Still, Bofur had offered it freely when he was still very much himself, and Kili…well, he _wanted_ it. Bofur smiled warmly at him. 

“I despaired you might not ever ask,” Bofur drawled. 

Bofur wet and parted his lips in a breathtakingly erotic invitation. Kili took a breath and fell forward, one hand on the bed over Bofur’s head and the other hand holding his cock as he rested it against the hot tongue that had been awaiting him. 

In the halved moment between the touch and Bofur taking him in, the magnitude of the moment swelled inside Kili. He had felt fingers tonight that had never stroked within him before, just as he was about to push inside a mouth that had never been stretched around his cock. Fili and Bilbo were there with him, watching him penetrating--being penetrated--and witnessing him and Bofur both experiencing these new pleasures, somewhat virgin to each other. It all raced through his head in an instant, slithered down his spine, and landed in his stones, narrowly beating the sensation of Bofur’s wet mouth around his cock. He cried out just as much for the forbidden, libertine _filth_ of it all as he did for the pleasure itself. 

**** 

Bofur gave himself over to the sensation of Kili heavy on his tongue. He had to trust Kili to do most of the moving due to his own limited range. In turn, Kili was thoughtful enough to refrain from pushing too deep while Bofur was essentially helpless. 

It was fascinating, how similar the process itself was but how different it was with Kili compared to Fili compared to Bilbo. None was superior; each of them was captivating and utterly perfect. 

Unable to see anything but Kili’s body, Bofur started a bit when he felt the touch of a hand on his leg. More slick was being added to his arse along with the press of fingers again. The thickness told him without a doubt they were Fili’s. They withdrew and he felt himself being positioned by hands on his hips. He licked and sucked at Kili with renewed vigor, anticipating he was about to be split open by his husbands cock…and there it was. 

Bofur had had this before, a cock up his arse and a prick in his mouth, but there was something about this, here, now that set him aflame. He needed to plant his feet and return Fili’s stroke, to hold onto Kili’s shaft and give him the best first impression possible, and to do whatever Bilbo might necessitate if the joined back in their play. Now that Fili, Killi, and Bilbo had all had their turns to tease, Bofur needed to _move._

***** 

Bofur released all three of his ropes at once and all movement in the room ceased immediately. 

Before Fili had the chance, Kili asked, “What is it?”  
“Wipe the concern from your brow, beautiful,” Bofur said reassuringly. “I just want to change things up a bit.” 

Bofur moved sideways on the mattress, scooting his head to the open edge. He did not bother unwinding the (currently useless) ropes from around his ankles, though he freed his hands immediately. 

“I beg of you, continue,” he urged. 

Kili got off the bed and positioned himself at the edge where Bofur was. Bofur grabbed Kili’s shaft, tipping his head for the best angle, and took Kili inside, making him cry out. As Fili resumed his position and stroked into him, Bofur moaned his approval around Kili, fully aware of the delicious vibrations it would send through his prick. 

**** 

Bilbo watched with wide, envious eyes as Bofur was shagged from mouth to arse. The envy was from wanting to be Bofur in this scenario more than it was from any jealousy over who was doing it to him. It still struck Bilbo as odd to see Kili so spiritedly fucking another person’s mouth, to be sure, but the feeling was more of a curious novelty than anything else. Having been momentarily content on having had a turn, Bilbo ultimately decided that he wasn’t quite done yet. He dove for Bofur’s cock. 

**** 

“ _This is more like it_ ,” thought Bofur, able to squeeze Kili’s arse with one hand while keeping himself from choking with the other. Kili had gotten into the spirit of things, as they were, and was fucking his mouth like a champion. Fili made use of Bofur’s newly liberated legs, too, manipulating them as needed for the angle and speed he wanted. 

A new sensation was added as Bilbo’s slick hands addressed the needy throb in Bofur’s cock and stones. 

Fili finished first, sending jolts through Bofur’s blood with each hot spurt inside him. Bofur felt Fili withdraw and the pressure on the bed change. Kili’s grunts turned to enthusiastic wails right about the time Bofur sensed a dip in the mattress alongside them. The telling occasional brush of skin not belonging to Kili or Bilbo affirmed Kili must have been getting a little something extra from Fili to help finish him off. 

Bofur listened to Kili’s increased panting as his cock grew harder between his lips. Lightning tingled through his core as he considered what Kili was about to do against his throat. 

“Bo, soon, I’m going to-- _soon_ ,” stuttered Kili, attempting to pull back out of courtesy. 

Bo was not interested in Kili spending anywhere other than inside him. He wanted the closeness, the connection, the sheer _indecency_ of greedily drinking Kili’s pleasure for the first time. Bofur again seized his arse with his free hand, not allowing Kili to withdraw, and instead urged him forward. 

“Oh, fuck, yes. Just like this!” Kili shouted. “Bo!” 

Kili’s orgasm pulsed against Bofur’s lips a beat before the heat and the taste splashed against his tongue. 

The arousal fluttered throughout Bilbo’s abdomen and groin as he watched Fili and Kili come inside Bofur. Bilbo stroked Bofur with one hand and fondled his stones with the other, keeping a slow and steady pace until the only person left touching Bofur was him. He could see Bofur reeling from being so used in such a short time frame, to say nothing of what must be running through his mind right now about Kili. Bofur seemed as dazed from it all as if he had just come twice himself. 

With his own urges lacking the attention they were currently demanding, Bilbo picked up his pace, adding the twists and pulls along the shaft he knew drove Bofur wild. It took hardly any time for Bofur to come with Bilbo’s name on his lips, arcing ribbon after ribbon of spend across his stomach and Bilbo’s hand. 

Bilbo swiped up what he could and smeared it on his own cock, already pulling in earnest. His eyes snapped open when strong hands lovingly pushed him onto his back. Blinking up at Kili owlishly, Bilbo’s hand around his member was briefly replaced by another one that was far more slick…then replaced by something more titillating besides. 

Kili sank down over Bilbo’s cock, hissing. He was too sensitive, but he wanted to give Bilbo this. He rode Bilbo quick and hard, ignoring the discomfort in favor of giving Bilbo another explosive experience. Kili fell forward, still working him, while he murmured his best filth and begged Bilbo to come. Bilbo writhed and guttered out shapeless sounds, spending deep within Kili. 

Kili quickly eased his overused arse off Bilbo, collapsing on top of him. Several moments later, Kili finally dragged himself up and off the bed so he and Fili could get the promised water and the flannel for the basin. 

Bilbo lay there after Kili got up, still somewhat panting. Bofur scooted over to him, lovingly smoothing a hand over Bilbo’s damp forehead. 

Voice deep, quiet, and smooth, Bofur said, “You are an imp, Bee, saying what you said to me after doing what you did.”  
“That day, right before you told me that, I honestly hadn’t known if you were going to do it. If you would have done it, I would have been powerless to stop it.”  
“The rope would have come down instantly,” Bofur said. He glanced down as he fidgeted with Bilbo’s hand before peering into his eyes again. “You could have stopped.”  
Bilbo held his gaze, unflinching. “And yet it stayed fastened as I made my own plans on how to explain it and deal with the aftermath. When I say powerless, Bo, I mean my resolve, not the limitations of the hithlain. I wanted you then. I want you even more now.”

Bofur swallowed hard, examining Bilbo’s face. 

“Your mind isn’t changing the closer we get to asking Thorin?” he asked.  
“My desires strengthen by the day. It took incredible will for me to pull away from you tonight.” 

Bofur wanted to tell him that he knew it had, that his disappointment had been evident from head to toe, but Fili and Kili had returned to clean everyone up for bed before he had a chance. 

***** 

  
With the stickier evidence of their evening wiped away, the house settled for the night, and the fire tended, Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Bofur climbed under the covers of the master bed, snuggling together for warmth and tenderness.

Each one of them stayed awake for a long time after, quietly lost in their own thoughts. Tonight might have started as one of Kili and Bilbo’s silly sex games, but it had ended as more.

So much more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone. Your comments and kudos mean the world to me.


	60. Breaks In The Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A touch of non-aftermath aftermath and a couple snapshots in the Shire before we swing back to Thorin.

Bofur carved his latest project at the dining table, covertly observing Kili going about his chosen chores for the day. It had been three days after their lewd evening of games and hithlain, and Kili had been behaving so… _normally_. True, his smiles for Bofur seemed to have grown warmer, but there was no crisis, no “can I speak to you in private” requests, nor were there avoidance or smother either one. Instead, there had been another entertaining go-round with the four of them in bed (after a night off for much needed regeneration), an aborted food fight at dinner, regular conversations ending in copious laughter, and a request for Bofur’s and Fili's dirty laundry to wash about twenty minutes prior.

In short, nothing had changed between them. 

Was Kili overcompensating? Or was there nothing to compensate for at all? Bofur found the first option concerning and the second option not at all flattering. 

Kili plopped down in the chair opposite him, setting down two cups of tea and nudging the sugar bowl in Bofur’s direction. 

“I’m having a little refresher before I tackle our clothes. I abhor doing laundry in the winter,” Kili said.

Bofur stared at the cup and the sugar, touched that Kili remembered Bofur liked his tea sweet.

Noting Bofur staring, Kili cleared his throat. “Um, I’m sorry. I thought it would be okay to just bring you the cup and the sugar. Will you not mention to Bee that I served out tea without the full Westfarthing set?”  
Glancing up, Bofur huffed an amused breath. “Not a word, Kee. For the record, I don’t mind. I was just thinking how nice it was that you brought me the sugar.”

Bofur stirred a few a spoons of it into his tea. 

“I know you prefer your tea with the sugar only just damp,” Kili joked. “I might have skimped on putting out the full service, but I would never expect you to drink it plain.”

Bofur held his teacup aloft in thanks before taking his first sip. 

They sat there talking as they had a hundred times before. At a natural lull in the conversation, Bofur stared at the bottom of his cup. Screwing up his nerve, he looked over at Kili. 

“You _do _feel different, yeah?” Bofur asked. “After…”__

____

_After you fucked my throat, after I swallowed your come, after I stuffed my fingers inside you until you shouted my name…_ Bofur wanted to say, but he chickened out. 

“…after what we did to each other the other night? And last night?” finished Bofur.  
“Well, sure. Don’t you?”

A corner of Bofur’s mouth twitched upward, not quite becoming a smile. He should have known Kili wasn’t going to need a dramatic discussion with him to come to terms with their new permissions, nor would Kili bother with denying or over-rationalizing the esoteric change that seemed to come from more invasive play. 

He ran his tongue over his back teeth and let the grin come. 

“Aye. I like it, Kee.”  
Kili smiled back with bright eyes. “I like it, too.” 

*****

Fili stopped stacking firewood and stood perfectly still. He thought he had heard something unusual. Seeing nothing within his field of vision, he slowly reached for his sword for a further investigation around the corner. Grasping only air, he felt a crushing sense of frantic dread. He walked backwards in his mind, trying to figure out when he had mislaid his weapon when he remembered the perils from their journey were over. He had to remind himself he was stacking firewood at Bag End, where he rarely wore a weapon unless he was training or hunting. Realizing the noise he heard was most assuredly not the creeping of a goblin, he took a few breaths, willing his pulse to normalize.

He knew from their talks that this happened to the others sometimes, these random moments of anxiousness left over from the journey. It was mostly pleasant not have to be ready to fight all the time, to be true, but sometimes their brains simply…forgot. They would be relaxed, not being mindful, and then—whoosh—something would put them on alert and their hearts would pound, forgetting for a moment that they didn’t have to be on guard for their lives any longer. It didn’t always happen waking, either. Kili and Fili both had recurring dreams about the sudden consequences of forgetting to remain aware for goblins, wargs, or worse. No one was ever badly hurt in those; it was the ambush itself that incited the terror that lasted past waking, sometimes as late as lunch. 

*****

“Bee?” Bofur called.  
Bilbo’s voice floated out from the study. “In here!”

Bofur’s heart swelled with pride at how Bilbo’s face lit up joyfully when his eyes landed on him. 

“We’re thinking of starting up dinner if you’re hungry.”  
“Bo, I’m so disappointed in you,” teased Bilbo. “How long have you been in the Shire, now? Yet you still ask a hobbit if he is hungry?”  
Bofur stuck his tongue out at him. “Hush, you. I’ve seen you stuffed like a tick and vowing never to eat again. Even a hobbit can get his fill sometimes.”  
“Fair enough. As it is, though, I am a mere hour away from wasting away to utterly nothing, I’m sure of it! Let me finish the thought I’m on and I’ll be in to help.”

It was only then that the quill in Bilbo’s hand finally caught Bofur’s attention.

“Letters to Erebor again?” he asked.  
“Oh, no. I had kept writing for a little bit, but we’ll be in the mountain at the same time the letters would be, anyway. No, this is…”

Bilbo paused.

“Did you know Thorin once gifted me with a blank book?”  
“Aye, a big red one. That was around the wedding, wasn’t it?”  
“That’s right!”  
“I remember you coming home with it, but not much else besides,” admitted Bofur.  
“I had once mentioned to him that I wanted to write down our adventure after I had returned home to the Shire. I honestly thought he had forgotten--if he had ever been paying attention at all--and then he surprised me with the book for my birthday.”

Bofur recalled the many times Bilbo had been frustrated or outright hurt that Thorin did not seem to listen to him. He found it unexpectedly heartwarming Thorin had not only remembered such a small (yet important) detail, but had also gone as far as to follow it up with a meaningful gesture. Bofur couldn’t even bring himself to conjure any of that old jealousy, not when the story of Thorin’s gift brought out this proud glow on Bilbo’s sweet face. 

“That was thoughtful of him, Bee. I’m-I’m happy he listened to you. He has grown so much since we first set out for the mountain,” Bofur said, meaning every word. 

Bilbo held out his other hand for Bofur, who grasped it.

“We all have, Bo, and I’m glad for it. Incidentally, that brings me back around to your original inquiry: When I get the urge to write Thorin, or when I find I’m missing him and our friends a little too much to keep inside, I’ve been writing down our stories, little by little.”  
Bofur lifted Bilbo’s hand to kiss it. “I think that’s mighty fine.”  
“You’ve helped me, you know.”  
“Me?”  
“Over the course of knowing you, you’ve taught me so much about how to tell a story. I have often found myself hanging on your every word even as you describe events I witnessed for myself. Adding that to what Ori has taught me about writing and chronicling events, you two have been amazing assistants in helping me get these thoughts out of my head and into ink.”  
“Cor! And we didn’t even know it,” said Bofur. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”

Bofur stood, setting aside his quill so he could take Bofur’s face in both hands. 

“I do feel that way, and many more ways besides. Perhaps I don’t tell you enough about the appreciation I have not only for your arousing body and your good heart, but your keen mind and poetic soul as well.”

Bilbo pulled him into a kiss. 

“You know,” he said. “Now that I think of it, I think I probably _am_ at a good stopping point. Let’s go put together a little something to eat.”

Bofur continued to blush, nearly speechless from the praise. 

“Or a tableful,” he managed to jest.  
“Ah! Now _that’s_ spoken like a true citizen of the Shire!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your continued comments, kudos, recs, and support. They sustain me!
> 
> We're only a few chapters away from the journey back to Erebor!


	61. Interlude in Imladris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very short peek in on Bifur.

More and more, Elrond had taken to inviting the dwarves staying in Imladris to join him for lunch. On one such day, as meal time was ending, he clasped his hands and addressed the table.

“Well,” Elrond said, looking first to Nori, then to Bifur, “It seems I will be hosting a reunion for you and your friends from the Shire, likely in the early spring.”  
“Reunion? You mean when the lads pass through on their way to the wedding?” Nori asked.

Heart beating rapidly, Bifur’s full attention was on Elrond.

“Yes," answered Elrond. "Bilbo Baggins has just sent me a request for accommodation. Should I see fit to assent, he said.”  
Nori grinned. “He’s always so proper, that one, not like us dwarrows who come barging in and won’t leave.”  
Elrond smiled back fondly. “He’ll be bringing a few familiar faces with him. Some hobbits, too.”

Bifur blushed under Elrond’s knowing gaze. 

“Some?” Nori added.  
“Bilbo mentioned bringing three specific hobbit guests along with four of your previous companions. Of the dwarrrows, Fili, Kili, and Bofur I know well, but the fourth one did not sound familiar.”  
Nori could hardly contain his joy. “Oi! The fourth is my baby brother, Ori!”  
“Have I met him?” Elrond said, frowning in confusion.  
Shaking his head, Nori said, “Only the first time when we came through. On our way back to the Shire for Kili’s wedding, we did not stop through here, as you already know.”  
“That explains it, then. Well! It appears their arrival will be even more joyous than I had previously anticipated.”

Bifur counted in his head. Three hobbits. With Ori, there was no doubt that two of them would be his companions. The third would be Rorimac! He and Rorimac had agreed upon plans that he would be going to Erebor with the others, of course, but hearing the arrangements actually confirmed by Bilbo and Elrond made it seem nearer and more real than it had twenty minutes ago.

With the meal officially concluded, Bifur lingered when the others departed. 

“Lord Elrond, may I be granted a word?”  
“Of course you may, Bifur. How are you feeling today? No headache, I hope?”  
Bifur shook his head. “Those seem to be coming on less and less.”  
“I’ve noticed you’re doing all your speaking in the reclaimed tongue, too. Your determination has given you better progress than my best hopes.”  
“Thank you, Lord Elrond. That’s part of why I wanted a moment with you. I’m not sure I’ve thanked you properly enough for the care you’ve given me. You have an entire valley of your own kin and those special to you, whom depend on you, yet you not only allowed me merely to live here—a most generous blessing by anyone’s standards—but you’ve also used your healing skills to…well, to give me a life back I once thought was lost forever. You’ll have my gratitude until the world’s ending.”  
“You are most welcome, Bifur.”  
“I also would like to thank you in advance for being a gracious host to our kin and friends this spring when they pass through Imladris on the way to the wedding. When you take care of our own, it is like taking care of us, and I thank you doubly for that.”  
“Would I be correct in assuming the particular someone you’ve been missing is one of their number?”  
Bifur smiled. “Aye.”  
Resting a hand on his shoulder, Elrond said, “Then I would have to say that it will be especially my pleasure to do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, as always. I'll be replying to the previous chapters' comments in the morning <3 Love you all.


	62. Fine-Looking High Horse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our chapter opens in Erebor, the morning after Thorin's vision of making love all night with Bilbo.

Thorin stared upwards after he woke, though he was so enthralled by still being able to feel the softness of Bilbo’s curls against his palm that he scarcely noticed the room had a ceiling.

Between Regnad’s double-speak and Balin’s heartbreakingly aloof reaction to Thorin's side of that story, he had begun to doubt his own perceptions. Having been worried about Bilbo in the first place, those doubts had served to make a sad, lonely situation gravely worse. The bundle of letters from the Shire went far in soothing those nasty wounds, to be sure, but last night's vision did the job of a thousand such letters. 

Most astounding to Thorin was Bilbo’s imprint under his skin having roared back to life, as strong as if they truly had spent the night making love and sharing marks. In addition, the desperation he recalled in Bilbo’s voice, the declarations of love, and the tearful pangs of Bilbo's regret remained incredibly vivid. Unlike a dream, he still remembered every detail—each touch, whisper, promise, and sigh--from beginning to end. 

Not a shred of doubt remained about Bilbo's wants and desires. They were certain and they were _current_ and Bilbo was coming back to him, eager to be made consort in Erebor once and for all atop Thorin’s bed. His cock flexed with the memory of Bilbo’s filthier words. 

They were married and this was happening. 

This was real. 

*****

That evening, Thorin pulled the letters from their home inside Bilbo’s blanket. Thorin had hoped the new pages might invigorate it with the fragrance of Bag End and his estimation turned out to be joyfully correct. He breathed deeply as he re-read the pages, luxuriating in the comfort and familiarity of the smell. Carefully tucking it all back together and stashing it away, he climbed into bed with Bilbo’s words fresh in his mind, Bilbo’s scent in his nostrils, and Bilbo’s bond contentedly thrumming in his blood. He rolled on his side, reached out where the puzzle box rested on the nightstand, and traced the pattern lovingly.

An unexpected side effect from both letter and vision was that for the first time in a long, long time, Thorin was comfortable enough with this relationship to pause and consider himself. Not in the visceral, selfish way he had done so all those lonely weeks and months before the reconciliation--a burning, blind ball of want and need—but as a person considering his own future hopes and needs in a partnership. 

Soon (though not soon enough), he and his love would finally be able to move beyond missing each other, beyond the reunion, beyond all the pining and suffering and uncertainty, and actually enjoy each other. Even prior to the dissolution of their engagement, there had still been so much anxiety about the dragon and the siege that planning their future had only been done in suppositions and maybes.

It struck Thorin that the time would finally come for plans and experiences long postponed. 

Smiling to himself, he daydreamed of weaving flower crowns for Bilbo at last, possibly using blooms from Bilbo’s own garden on the Great Overlook. He fancied he might even tuck the smallest buds into the very fur of Bilbo’s feet. 

*****

One evening, it occurred to Thorin that he actually _wanted_ to participate in the socializing that often took place in the hall after dinner. He purposely ignored Regnad while wandering from cluster to cluster of the folks staying to chat. He had just excused himself from a conversation with Nabbi, Dain, and other members of council when he heard a familiar, vexing laugh that seemed a bit too loud to be sincere. He turned to see Regnad standing with his sister, Balin, and Dwalin.

“Oh, Princess Dís,” Regnad said. “If even _one_ of the princes is half the delight you are, then I will have no choice but to declare the mountain has been poor indeed in their absence.”  
“You have no idea! I cannot wait for them to arrive,” Dís said.  
“I have but an inkling, though I’m looking forward to meeting them.” Regnad sighed wistfully, “I often think about all I missed, being a late arrival. All I have are glorious tales of the princes and the absent members of The Fourteen.”

Thorin couldn’t see Regnad's face--having purposefully positioned himself to avoid the remotest possibility of catching his attention--though he was sure the expression Regnad wore had been shrewdly chosen for maximum sympathy. “ _You fraud_ ,” Thorin hissed inwardly. He burned in further annoyance as Dís comforted Regnad in a far kinder voice than Thorin had _ever_ heard her use with Bilbo, even after they had called their truce.

“None of that, if you please,” she chided sweetly. “You are here now and these are also exciting times. Besides, my Fili and my Kili will be coming home soon and I’m certain you will all be fast friends! They won’t be alone, either. By the wedding, The Fourteen will be together, reunited in the mountain again. Some might even sit council, if it pleases them, and they will see for themselves what a proud asset _you_ are to Erebor, too.”  
“Her Highness is too kind,” Regnad simpered.

Feeling as though his food might come back up, Thorin turned to leave the hall entirely and caught sight of Dwalin striding out of the room ahead of him, looking none too pleased. Thorin followed, snatching a bottle of wine on the way.

Catching up with Dwalin, they chose Thorin’s office chambers in which to have a quieter drink. With no cups, it put Thorin in mind of the many times they had passed bottles back and forth while on the road for this expedition or that. Oddly and suddenly, it occurred to Thorin that he and Dwalin had hardly kept each other’s company without Balin, Dís, or Dain around in weeks. 

“How are your wedding duties coming along?” he asked.  
“Oi, can we talk about something else?”  
Thorin raised an eyebrow. “I thought you were excited about all this.”  
“I am, believe me, and the preparation even interests me more than I thought it would, but I’ve scarcely had a conversation in days that didn’t revolve around it somehow.”  
“Noted.”

Silence fell between them as they drank. Sadly, Thorin recalled a time it hadn’t been so awkward to just sit with his long-treasured companion.

Dwalin spoke next. “So, Balin says you had yourself a bit of an issue not too long ago.”  
“Oh? What sort of issue did he say I had?”  
“A certain council member getting under your skin.”

Thorin froze; the only thing moving were his eyes as he studied Dwalin’s face. 

“And what did he say?” asked Thorin carefully.  
“That he was a bit forward and insistent on demanding your time in a way you didn’t deem appropriate.”

Dwalin noticed Thorin still examining his expression and held his hand up in defense. 

“Those were his exact words, by the way. He did not elaborate on ‘forward and insistent,’ but I have a fair guess. I did not tell Balin the real reason you would not be interested, either, in case you were worried.”

For the second time within the hour, Thorin thought he might lose his dinner. He took a long pull off the bottle and handed it back. 

Bitterly, he said, “So you think I _should_ be interested, just like your brother.”

Dwalin took a drink and shook his head. 

“I think you should move on from Bilbo Baggins. My feelings on that matter are hardly news to you. Unlike Balin, though, I have no interest in matchmaking and I think he should probably give it up, too.”

Thorin thought about Dwalin stalking away from the group after Dís had comforted Regnad. 

“What do _you_ think of Regnad?” he asked.  
Terse and quick, Dwalin replied, “I don’t.”  
“Because Dís likes him?”  
Dwalin shrugged. “Possibly, but not only. There’s something about him I can’t quite put my finger on. He’s too put together, too well-spoken, too cultivated, too… _too_ , I suppose. His personality rings empty, as though it had been carefully crafted to be exactly what it is.”

Thorin nodded subtly, trying to hide the elation that swirled within his breast. Finally, there was someone else who did not believe Regnad had climbed the highest ladder to hang the very moon--and for it to be Dwalin besides! Their relationship had never fully recovered after Dwalin learned of Thorin's secret affair, not even after they had discussed it and agreed to disagree. For the first time in a long while, Thorin felt like perhaps Dwalin might be on his team. He dared not push it, choosing still to keep the specific nature of the harassment close and quiet. He could not bear Dwalin dismissing him the way Balin had…or blaming him due to judgement already borne of what Thorin did with Bilbo and Kili.

Thorin kept it general. “I’ve had similar impressions of him, particularly regarding my, um, my issues. I believe him to be false. In fact, I wanted him removed from council and sent back to the Iron Hills, but Balin bluntly informed me that my opinion was in the minority and I would be at a political disadvantage if I was to press for it. As much as I hate to admit it, his points were difficult to dispute.”  
A familiar, old glint appeared in Dwalin’s eye. “Perhaps the matter calls for some field observation? Perhaps that grand old kind we don’t mention to my brother?”  
Thorin’s heart leaped again. “I think that might be a very good recommendation. You know, it is a shame I cannot promote you any higher than the Captain of the Elite Guard.”  
Dwalin demurred, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, your sister is going to give me the best promotion possible soon, anyhow.”  
“I thought we weren’t talking of the wedding?” remarked Thorin, amused.  
“Well, not preparations, at any road. The fact that it is happening after all these years-- _that_ is something I’ll never tire of telling folks.”  
“Ah, very good. You know, I’m thinking this wine could use some sort of dessert. Want to raid the kitchens? We might be able to woo some cookies out of them at the very least.”  
“Oh!” Dwalin brightened. “Do you think they might have ones with chocolate in?” 

*****

As the weeks between the letter, the vision, and the wedding wore on, the edge of Thorin’s ache for Bilbo sharpened again. Though the desperation was the same as always, this time it blessedly came without the despair that had sprouted from Thorin’s uncertainty. This time, he knew to his bones he was only waiting for days to pass instead of fretting over his welcome back into Bilbo’s heart, bed, or body.

His renewed certainty had also revived his libido. While not as heroically frequent as he had upon his return to Erebor, Thorin still often took himself in hand after he blew out his candle at night. He often liked to fully unclothe and seduce himself, guiding his hands over paths Bilbo’s own fingertips once traveled. He would caress his skin, lost in his erotic memories, drawing it out for ages before he even touched his cock. Though he still had his moments of feeling scandalous about it, sometimes he imagined Kili there, contemplating yet unattempted pleasures between them. 

There were other rare occasions, too—those particularly dark, needy nights when the pain of separation grew unbearable and Thorin succumbed to the hardest spirits he could get in Erebor. Inebriated beyond reason, he would smother his ache with memories of Bilbo's letter and the stories of the Elvish rope. These episodes would have Thorin picturing _himself_ , not Bilbo, as the one tied up for the pleasure of his husband and his husband's lovers...though, even exceedingly drunk, he was too mortified by the scenario to think of them by name. Envisioning himself obscenely, helplessly presented for anyone who wished to lay hands on him, he would feel phantom caresses and lips all over his body, slipping his own fingers inside of himself and pretending he did not know to whom they belonged. He would wake the next day with a mess in his bed, a sore bottom, an aching head, and the boiling heat of shame filling his blood from top to toe. He would clean up quickly, embarrassed, as though Bilbo could somehow see the deviance to which his extreme loneliness had brought his liquor-addled mind.

*****

“So the rumors going around this afternoon are true! You’ve been at the forges again,” Balin said accusingly, intercepting Thorin in the passage on his way back up.

Things had been growing increasingly strained between them the more Regnad had earned Balin’s ear--and the less consideration Thorin had wished to give Regnad at all. Balin’s current tone was not doing a thing to assuage said strain. Thorin shrugged.

“So?”  
Crossing his arms, Balin asked, “Do you think it is a particularly regal use of your time, smudging yourself up at an anvil?”  
“What a ridiculous statement!” Thorin said, annoyed. “As if a dwarven king is somehow made greater by shying away from one of the very crafts that forms the soul of our people! It is good for the spirit to get into the heat of the fires.”  
“Ach, yes, and the soot and the sweat,” Balin said, disgusted.  
Thorin’s face darkened. “How have you become such a snob? Have we never been cold and hungry before? Dirty and bloody? Have we not worked our fingers to the bone to bring ourselves to this very moment, blessed beyond measure to able to cloak ourselves in all this privilege and finery? How can you think yourself, me, or anyone else as above an afternoon’s work when we’ve been through all of it? How is soot and sweat not noble enough for the King of Erebor?”  
Only momentarily chagrined, Balin said, “Yes, you have been through it, which is all the more reason for you to enjoy yourself now and not get your hands dirty in your leisure time. What is the point of even having leisure time if you are laboring at all? You have more than earned this crown, Thorin. There is no shame in keeping clean—everyone knows what you went through to be here. Besides, you have craftspeople now. You can hire out the work.”  
“Crafting metal is meditative. It helps me feel connected not only to the mountain but also to myself. Besides, I find working on projects rewarding. I see no shame in being at the anvil. At least this time I’m sweating for myself and not begging for the scraps of Men.”  
“And what of whispers that buzz through the citizenry about the king who forges sculptures, odd-shaped dishes, and crowns in his spare time--the same king, mind, who also builds elaborate gardens and hires elves and contracts perfumers (of all things) from New Dale to work with our merchants? To say nothing of the team of engineers you had turned upside down with that business with Beorn. It all seems a bit queer.”

Suddenly, Thorin was quite grateful Balin had no inkling what his purpose had been in the forge that afternoon…nor what his pocket held at that very moment. 

He shot back, “Queer or not, it is _my_ time. Does the kingdom suffer when I am in the forge? At the garden? In New Dale? Does a single coin get mislaid? Do supply requisitions go unsigned? No, they don’t, because I do none of this on Erebor’s time nor at her expense. Also, if you would pause your prejudice for a moment, you would see the good it does us as a redeveloping nation to establish new trade agreements and alliances. My behavior during the siege harmed our reputation; perhaps these new relationships could help repair some of the damage I did when I was not myself.”

He made a noise of exasperation. 

“You used to understand these things, just as you used to know the virtue of a smudged face. What has happened to you, Balin?”  
Pointedly ignoring Thorin’s question and setting his jaw, Balin said curtly, “I’m sure you are eager to get ready for dinner, Your Highness. I shall not keep you.”

He gave a shallow, stiff bow, rankling Thorin with a formality the two of them rarely used with each other. Thorin nodded in return, but caught Balin’s elbow before he left.

“Alliances can also do harm, Balin,” Thorin said, quiet and solemn. “It would do you good to remember who we are and the fraught, heartbreaking road that took too many decades and too many deaths to bring us back home again. Those memories might help you stay grounded when someone who has kept clean hands and never bled for a cause tries to fill your head with puffery.”

Balin’s eyes flashed fire, though he remained silent as Thorin walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time is passing quickly! Our Shire lads will be making their preparations to set off on the road to Erebor very soon.
> 
> Thank you everyone <3


	63. The Grey Pilgrim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As travel plans are being set, a visitor arrives

Winter’s time was growing short in the Shire. There were still cold snaps (and weeks), but the days without a freeze crept up in growing numbers. The soon-to-be-traveling Shire residents took advantage of such days to up their training in case of trouble on the road. 

Bilbo had been working to practice with both his sword as well as the dagger Thorin had given him, though if one would ask him, he would say he wasn’t nearly as quick of a study as Thodora and Rorimac.

Impressed, he told them, “You two are going to get recruited for the king’s Elite Guard if Thorin sees you in action! “  
“ _No_!” Ori shouted, upset.

Everyone one turned to look at him. 

“I mean, it would be up to her, I guess, but I’ve only just found her…” Ori trailed off.  
“Oh, Ori,” she said, touching his face. “I would not leave you and Chadham to be a soldier. Bilbo’s just having a bit of fun.”

Ori now looked especially sheepish. 

“To be fair,” Bilbo corrected her gently, “The compliment was real, even if the scenario was imagined.”  
Thodora said, “Thank you, Bilbo.”  
“Yes, thank you,” Rorimac echoed.  
Bofur clapped Ori on the back. “You okay there? C’mon, let’s square off again. Bee? Rori?”  
Dropping to the ground, Bilbo said, “No, I’m going to sit one out and catch my breath.”  
“Kee,” Bofur called out. “How about you take Bilbo’s place against Rori for this run?”

Bilbo watched the others go ‘round again, appreciating (as always) how fine Kili looked when he was sparring. He hated to see him in actual, dangerous battles, but when it was just for fun like this, he couldn’t help appreciating his… _form_.

After an especially dreamy sigh, Bilbo took note of how didn’t fog the air. It wouldn’t be long now before they could depart for the mountain, he reasoned. Though the risks of travel still frightened the more Baggins-minded part of him, the lure of his favorite places and the adventure of being out on the road whispered seductively to his Tookish blood. Neither side of him was looking forward to imposed semi-celibacy, though, especially now that it was not only Kili’s sensual attention he was going to miss. 

*****

A sunny day in the garden helped pull more of winter’s chill from the afternoon, comfortably enough for Bofur to step out and take a little air on what had become his favorite bench. Fili joined him soon after, offering him a puff of his freshly lit pipe. He took it warily, remembering how the pipes he had been taking in the house early that winter had made him ill. It certainly seemed as lovely as the best of them had been and he exhaled contentedly, hoping for no ill effects.

“I don’t reckon it gets much better than this, Fee. Mayhaps a little more warmth in the breeze, but otherwise I think this life we’ve built suits me more than fine.”

Fili hummed in reply.

Bofur continued, “Not that three years ago I would have imagined I might love seeking life as a hobbit, mind, but now that it is happening, I can’t think of it it having turned out any other way.”

Fili hummed again and this time Bofur noticed both the tone as well as the lack of an enthusiastic reply.

“Erm, something on your mind, Fee?”  
“I agree with you. I love It here, I love you, Bee, and Kee. Everything about this is unexpected and beyond my dreams. I never would have guessed it, either.”  
Bofur studied him. “But?”  
Sighing, Fili replied. “But this isn’t it, is it? We can’t just stay here. We have to go to Erebor for Mam’s wedding. We will miss spring and summer in the Shire again, and instead ride into the familiar unknown.”  
“Is this about your fear of getting stuck at Erebor or is this about…him?”  
“Both. All of it.”  
Bofur put his arm around him. “I know, Fee. I also want to stay in our Shire and love and laugh and watch the Spring ripen into Summer in our new homeland for the first time.”  
“I know we can’t.” Fili sighed heavily. “You know I love Thorin, I do. My bedroom issues with Kee aside, I want to see Thorin and be there for him, be there for Mam, and spend time with our friends. Besides that, there’s what Bee and Kee must be feeling, plus I know you are eager to see Bom and Bifur again soon. I understand why we need to go, all around.”  
“Understanding why doesn’t mean your trepidation is any less valid.”  
“Thank you, Bo.”  
“You know, I’ve been mulling over a little something that might help get us out of our heads for few days, maybe help rally our blood for the journey to Erebor, and help Thorin, too.”  
“Oh? Sounds intriguing. Fill me in.” 

*****

The bell rang and their dinner guests filed in: Ori, Thodora, Chadham, and Rorimac. Kili delightfully noted that everyone carried something to add to the dinner table. He adored hobbit cooking.

“Ooh, Ori, what is _that_?” asked Bofur.

Ori pulled the cover off his dish with a flourish, revealing a fat, multi-layer chocolate cake. 

“This is my coursework, as it is, from Mrs. Cotton,” he said.  
Bofur’s eyes grew wide. “Cor, that’s a _Mrs. Cotton_ chocolate cake?”  
“Yes, but made by Ori!” Chadham said with pride.  
Kili looked it over. “This is fantastic. You’ve gone and become a master, you have!”  
“Well,” Ori said haltingly, a little shy from the praise. “Let’s wait until you taste it.”  
“Dinner first. What do you think this is? Buckland?” Bilbo joked.  
Grinning, Kili said, “Hold on, they eat dessert first in Buckland? And we don’t live there why?” 

As dinner got underway, Bilbo made an announcement.

“In addition to the simple joy of having good friends at dinner, I specifically invited you over tonight to let you know a messenger dropped me a note yesterday from Rivendell. As expected, all is in hand and Elrond, Estel, Nori, Bifur, and the rest of our friends anxiously await our arrival when the weather changes.” 

Happiness (and one or two flying buns) erupted all around the table as they chattered about the upcoming trip. 

Thodora and Chadham were ecstatic about adventuring out of the Shire as Bilbo once had, and doubly so to go to all the way East to the mountain Ori had helped win. They knew this invitation was not offered (or accepted) lightly, nor was the embarking on the travel involved to make it happen. They had easily a dozen questions between them and set about asking them all at once. 

As he often did, Rorimac stayed quiet in his own thoughts while the others carried on. Bofur observed the sanguine expression on his face and smiled to himself. It was obvious Rorimac was lost in his daydreams about Bifur. 

*****

After the evening’s guests had gone home, Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Bilbo warmed their full bellies by the parlor fire. When he had screwed up enough nerve, Fili grabbed Bofur’s hand and cleared his throat.

“Bo and I have been talking and we’ve decided that before we leave for Rivendell, we want to take a short trip back to Ered Luin. We don’t have to wait for the weather to warm up reliably for as long to head that direction as we do for Erebor. We thought if we left the day after tomorrow, we’d be back with plenty of room to stay on our timeline for traveling East.”  
“The time should not be a problem for a trip like that,” Kili said.  
Bilbo absentmindedly played with his courting braid. “I agree. What’s the benefit, though? Why do you want to return to one mountain before we head to the other?”  
Bofur fielded the question. “We had rallied some interest in people relocating to Erebor when we were there this fall, but you know as well as I do that people have a way of getting complacent, if not forgetting there was something they were meaning to do altogether. With it warming and the bug to get out and about starting to nibble on folks, we thought now would be the perfect time to go back and get interest again. If Thorin wound up suffering any political pressure for coming here for the wedding, perhaps an influx of new citizens from this direction might give him a boost.”

As Bofur explained the basic jist, Fili tried to put together the best way to explain his more personal reasoning. 

He said, “I’ll be honest, doing something that feels official like this--something that feels _princely_ \--might help me get out of my head and over some of my fears about returning to Erebor, maybe shake a little of that Shire dust off my dwarven heart.”  
“Well, I can’t argue with that,” said Kili. “In fact, it is almost perfect. I’m impressed.”  
“I can’t take the credit. Bofur came up with it,” Fili said proudly.  
“Brilliant,” praised Bilbo. “It is simply brilliant. I would not have come up with it on my own but I agree. Having another wave of dwarrows relocating to Erebor in the spring will be a boon for Thorin, and the three of you as well.”  
“So, the day after tomorrow?” Fili repeated. “That will not disturb your schedule for leaving?”  
Bilbo shrugged. “Not at all. Should be fine.”  
“You are welcome to go with us, too,” Bofur added. “It probably goes without saying, but I figured I’d say it anyway, just in case.”

Bilbo and Kili glanced at each other.

“How about we decide by morning? Does that sound okay to you, Kee?” Bilbo asked.  
“Yes, my jewel.”  
Bofur shrugged his eyebrows and nodded. “Fair enough.” 

*****

Much later that evening, in bed, Bilbo spoke.

“Kee, I don’t know if I want to make that trip to Ered Luin with the lads, not when we’re getting ready to traipse for weeks in the other direction again.” 

Getting his main, worrisome statement out of the way, the rush of relief had Bilbo spilling the rest of his words like a fountain. 

“I’m…I’m going to be okay this time when you go. We’re married now and everyone will remember how you came back once besides. They won’t think you’re leaving me again, especially when half the homes between here and Bree know we’re traveling this spring, anyhow, and-“  
Kili put his fingers to Bilbo’s lips. “Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down for a moment, please. What’s all this explanation for? Who says I’m going?”  
Blinking in surprise, Bilbo said, “You’re not?”  
“Not if you’re not. I have no interest in being where you aren’t.”  
“B-but you and Fee hate to be parted from each other.”  
Kili shrugged. “True, we do, but we went to visit Mam without you and I swore that would be the last of us traveling apart. Even then, if it hadn’t been tremendously important for me to go for Mam, I would not have gone at all. Besides, it is only fair. I missed you last time, so Fee will just have to miss me this time.”

Bilbo surged forward with a grateful kiss, which led to deeper and even more grateful ones. Somewhere in the middle of it all, a thought occurred to Bilbo and he leaned back to look into Kili’s eyes. 

“Kee, if you think it would help Thorin more if you went with Fee, then I’ll go too.”

Kili smiled adoringly, smoothing a thumb over Bilbo’s cheek. 

“I love you, you know, and I know your offer is serious and sincere, but the answer I think is still no. Fee will be plenty if the situation calls for royalty, and Bo’s charm will make up for the rest.”  
“If you’re sure?”  
“Yes, I’m sure. I’m also sure that you are wonderful.”

Kili made a mental note to try to remember to tell Thorin about this exchange. 

*****

Once he thought about it, Bilbo didn’t know why he hadn’t anticipated a visit from Gandalf shortly after the letter came from Rivendell. Still, the wizard on the other side of the door took him by surprise.

“Gandalf!” Bilbo cried. “Come in, come in! What brings you here? What can I get for you? Would you like to me to set up an early afternoon tea?”  
Before he could answer, he heard Kili shout from the other room. “Did you say Gandalf?”  
“Gandalf’s here?” Fili asked.  
Out of his chair and around the corner in a flash, Bofur shouted, “Hello!” 

Gandalf quite suddenly had three dwarrows at his waist. 

“My dear Bofur, Kili, and Fili!” he laughed. “It is good to see you, too.”  
“Come, we’ll fix an early tea,” Bofur said.  
Bilbo brightened. “I just said that myself!”  
“Did you?” Bofur smiled back. “A couple of geniuses we are.”  
Rolling his eyes, Fili looked up at Gandalf. “And so humble, too.”

Still humming a giggle, Gandalf’s eyes were sharp, taking it all in. Whatever was going on under this roof was stronger than even before. Gandalf could _almost_ feel the prickle of energy raising his hair. What in Middle Earth had gone on in his absence?

Serving out the tea while Kili put the last treats on the table, Bilbo asked, “What brings you through this time?”  
“I’ve just been to see Elrond. He mentioned you’re preparing for another considerably long trip.”  
“Oh? Do you mean to come with us?”  
“Not exactly. We may meet up in Imladris in the coming weeks, if the timing is right, but I will not be able to travel directly all the way to Erebor with you this time around.”  
Bofur’s face fell. “You’re not attending the wedding?”  
“I didn’t say that,” Gandalf said in between bites. “There’s a whole world of folk outside Imladris, the Shire, and Erebor, though, and much for a wizard to track. My plan is to visit Erebor, hopefully in time for the wedding, but if not, that’s simply the way things go sometimes.”  
“Gandalf,” Bilbo said, clearing his throat. “You…you were _invited_ to the wedding, weren’t you?”  
Gandalf blustered. “Well, of course I was, Bilbo Baggins! What a preposterous question! To imagine I would attend such gatherings uninvited…” he trailed off indignantly. 

*****

After tea, Gandalf bade Bilbo take a walk through the peach grove with him. He kept his eyes roving, assuring they were alone before he spoke.

“Bilbo, I’m sure you have guessed there is a reason I especially made time to be here before you left.”  
“I figured you’d tell me sooner or later.”  
“What do you plan on doing with your ring while you are traveling East?”  
“My ring?” asked Bilbo, glancing down at his mithril ring.  
“The one you found in the goblin tunnels. You, you _do_ still have it, do you not?”  
“Oh! _That_ ring! You know, I couldn’t tell you the last time I thought about that! Yes, I have it hidden just as you told me. Not remembering it, I hadn’t considered what to do with it when I left. I guess I should…I should take it?”

Gandalf’s stomach sank, for he didn’t know any better than Bilbo did. Gandalf had planned for Bilbo’s reaction to his questions to guide his counsel, but Bilbo did not have much of a reaction at all. Other than a bit of dishonesty, Bilbo had not been not overcome by whatever magic was in the ring, and even less so once he, Kili, Fili, and Bofur formed their odd little family. The ring would at least guarded if Bilbo traveled with it on his person, but Gandalf was still wary. If it wasn’t the ring he feared it might be, magic rings still tended to bring magic with them, anyhow. If it could be related in any way to fell forces as well, the consequence of it traveling with their small, barely armed host was too terrible to dwell upon. Perhaps it might be best well-hidden in Bag End for the duration of the trip. 

“Bilbo, who knows your home will be empty for the next several weeks?” asked Gandalf.  
“Just about everyone, I imagine.”  
Gandalf frowned. “Is that so?”  
“Well, I had to make some arrangements, and you know how word travels West of Bree…”  
“Right, right.”  
“Oh, but I’m not bothered about burglars-” 

Bilbo paused to smile at his inadvertent word choice and the worry left Gandalf’s face for a moment to return it joyfully. 

“I have a house-sitter this time, someone to check in and make sure all is well,” Bilbo finished.  
“I see…”  
“So, the ring? Should I take it with me or leave it home?”

Gandalf regarded him, trying to figure out the answer himself. 

*****

The residents of Bag End spent the next day baking and buying enough food to keep Fili and Bofur comfortable on the road. They coaxed Gandalf (without much trouble, truth be told) into staying long enough to fill his own pack before he was off again.

“He certainly seems to leave as soon as he gets somewhere,” Kili said.  
Fili shrugged. “I suppose the time we spent with him at Beorn’s was the exception for him and not the rule. Perhaps it was because it was winter.”  
“He came and went a lot when we were there, too.”  
“Wonder what he does all the time…and why," mused Fili. "I’ve suspected for a long time that all his machinations with Erebor were part of something larger than even ousting the dragon. When Bofur told me he was a-“

Bofur shot him a look, widening his eyes in signal. 

Bilbo watched the two of them have a wordless conversation, silently debating whether or not to keep a secret they did not realize was already known to him and Kili. 

“'Even the very wise cannot see all ends,'” he quoted.

Bofur instantly recognized those words from the night Gandalf had revealed his title. Bofur’s head whipped to incredulously gape at Bilbo. 

“Had you been awake for that?” he asked.  
“Yes. I had had some suspicions here and there that there was much more to him, but I hadn’t yet connected all the corners as you had.” Bilbo looked to Fili and Kili. “Bo is referring to an instance from we were on the road back to Rivendell with Gandalf. Kee, I know we’ve talked about this.”  
“Bo has shared it with me, too,” Fili said.

Bilbo nodded decisively, pleased no further explanation was required.

“You two should have heard Bo that night. He asked Gandalf flat out what he was, having put it all together so cleverly. I only regret I didn’t see the look on his face.”  
“Why didn’t you tell me you knew he was a Guardian?” asked Bofur.  
Replied Bilbo, “I didn’t see the point in bringing it up.”  
“I’m still not clear on what a Guardian is,” Fili said. “Are they servants of the Valar?”  
“I never did quite figure it out,” Bilbo said. “However, I did do some research in Rivendell. Estel helped me translate some texts we honestly probably had no business touching. The best I could find were histories describing the wizards as folk tasked with assisting the peoples of Middle Earth, which is more or less what Gandalf had told Bofur.”  
Shocked, Bofur asked, “You had Estel help you? Mahal’s grace, but he's just a lad! Has no business getting mixed up in the likes of this, anyhow. Did you tell him you were researching Gandalf?”  
“No, of course not! I, um, I didn’t need to. In our readings, we found that _Mithrandir_ ,” Bilbo paused for recognition of the name, “has been known to the elves for least fifteen hundred years. Likely longer, but we didn’t have anything older. We found nothing more specific about the origins of the wizards, though. My guess is that they are some manner of mortal immortals, for lack of a better term.”  
Kili let out a long whistle. “Fifteen hundred years. That’s a long time.”  
“That confirms my suspicions about his involvement in Erebor being above politics, then,” Fili said.  
“But the task in Erebor--for whatever reason he undertook it--has been done now,” Bofur pointed out. “The bigger question here is why Gandalf is still deeply involved enough to continue checking in? I mean, I suppose he has been friends with Elrond for centuries, but what about his visits to us?”  
“Right, and wasn’t he especially close friends with your Mam, Bee?” Kili asked.  
“Did he just like us all a lot?” wondered Bofur aloud. “I mean, if one is mostly immortal, life gets lonely without friends, right?”  
Kili added, “Or is there something else to be done? Something unfinished?”  
"Or something to stay under observation," Fili said, wary.

Bilbo considered Gandalf’s worry about his ring. 

Sighing, he said, “I have a sneaking, sinking suspicion it is probably a combination of those things as well as things we have not yet begun to suspect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dears. You're all just lovely.


	64. Anything At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Kili deal with their first real separation as grown dwarrows--and the first one since the deeper bond awoke.  
> Bilbo and Bofur try to do the best they can for their husbands during this trial.

After a rental of ponies and loading of the packs, Bilbo and Kili saw Fili and Bofur off to Ered Luin. Though not as raw and fraught as the morning Bilbo had watch Fili, Kili, and Bofur depart for that visit to Dís, tears were still shed. All four of them exchanged kisses, hugs, and long, sad looks. Bilbo and Kili did not retreat indoors until Bofur and Fili were out of sight.

“Seems so silly, doesn’t it?” Bilbo sniffed, wiping his eyes. “When you left without me, I was afraid of the road ahead because I hadn’t traveled it before. This time, I’ve traveled the path they’ll take, but I’m still a mess.”  
Kili borrowed Bilbo’s handkerchief to dab at his own tears. “I know. It will only be however many days—hardly any time, really—but I hated watching them leave, too.” 

*****

“I must say you’re doing remarkably well, Fee,” Bofur said as they rode along. “Last time, Kee spent half his day crying, while I think your tears have about dried.”  
“I don’t want to hear it,” Fili shot back. “I’m pretty sure you were still sniffling as recently as an hour ago.”  
“Aye, fine, I’ll admit it. It was more difficult leaving this time, what with Bee weeping for me and you.”  
“I feel terrible now for being so short with Kee about his difficulties last time. I wasn’t the one leaving behind a lover back then. Leaving him and Bee, even just leaving him as my brother, well-“ Fili’s voice broke.  
“I know, Fee. It is only for a little while.”  
“I will be fine,” Fili replied shakily.  
“And I’ll do my best to be fine, too.”  
“Bo? Sing me a song?”

Bofur breathed in and quietly serenaded his husband, consoling them both with songs of love and merriment. 

*****

With Bofur and Fili some four days gone, Bilbo missed them, truly, but it had not been as hard on him as feeling as though Kili’s spirit had left when they did. Kili hadn’t been suggesting it was time for food like he often did, nor was he helping bake as he loved to--though he at least ate the food Bilbo set it in front of him. He also had gone quiet, which damped Bilbo’s own spirit almost more than Fili and Bofur being absent. Times before, even when Kili had been in a mood, he had rarely gone days without regular chatter and laughter like this…and his libido had been distressingly dormant.

By the sixth day, Kili was spending most of his time sleeping and Bilbo did not know what else to do other than let him do it. However, Bilbo thought eating and drinking was happening with too little regularity, and Kili, bless him, was starting to emit an odor Bilbo did not want seeping into their marriage bed. 

He let Kili sleep until the sun was high before nudging him awake. 

“Kee, come on, dear heart. It is time to start the day.”  
Kili rolled over, looked at him with bleary eyes, then tugged the pillow over his face and tried to settle back in. 

“Nuh-uh. Come now, up you go,” Bilbo said to him, pulling away the pillow.

Kili groaned loudly in complaint.

“None of that, now,” Bilbo gently chided. 

He tugged at Kili’s arm and Kili reluctantly sat up, still communicating with annoyed grunts instead of words. Bilbo was not swayed by Kili’s attempt at eloquence and pulled him to stand.

“We’re marching into the kitchen. You’re going to drink the water I have placed on the table for you and consume at least a cup of tea while I make you breakfast. After breakfast, I’m going to bathe you since you’ve lost interest in bathing yourself. If you want to go back to bed after that, I’ll not fuss.” 

*****

Kili pushed his food around his plate at first, though he managed to finish it. He also drank the water, tea, and second water Bilbo set in front of him.

“Kili, I want to ask you something.”  
The foregoing of the usual nickname caught Kili’s notice immediately. “Go ahead,” he said cautiously.

Bilbo folded his hands on the table in front of him and cleared his throat. 

“This gloom that has settled over you, this is because you miss Fili?”  
“It is.”  
Bilbo nodded. “I can understand that. I would like to ask you another question, then.”  
“Yes?”  
“Have you forgotten he did not leave you here alone?”

Kili responded with the most passion his voice had carried in days. 

“No! Of course not! What kind of question is that?”  
“It seems like you have. I find that I am not only missing them, but I somehow find myself missing you now, too.”  
He reached across the table. “Bee, I’m right here.”  
“But you haven’t been, have you? You only speak when spoken to and only eat when I make you do it. You’ve been somewhere else in your melancholy, and you’ve left me in Bag End without you.” 

Kili remained quiet several moments as he considered Bilbo’s words. 

“I hadn’t realized it, but you’re right,” he said tenderly. “You’re sad and lonely, too, and instead of clinging to each other, I’ve let us be sad and lonely separately. Selfishly. I’m sorry, my jewel.”  
“I’m sorry, too. Maybe it is me who is being selfish because I was looking forward to having you home with me this time while we wait for the people we love. However, maybe what you need is to miss him just like this. Perhaps you can help me understand?”  
“I don’t understand it myself. Fee being away from me, well, it has never been easy for us. It is easier now that we’re grown, but this is the first time we’ve been separated this long and far since I’m not even sure when. With everything else, with the bond, I just…it's…” Kili trailed off, unable to find the words.  
Bilbo now held both of Fili’s hands in his. “You don’t have to explain any more, then. Just as I promised, we’re going to get you washed up. You’ll feel better in your skin once we do, then we’ll tuck you back in bed and you can stay flopped until dinnertime. Sound good?”  
Kili nodded with a faint smile. “I could do with a wash. I’ve not had the energy.”  
“Good thing I’ll be the one expending it, then.”

*****

Bilbo’s touch on Kili in the bath seemed to rub more life into him with every pass. By the time Bilbo had finished his hair, Kili was lustily pawing at him and straining for kisses.

“Kee,” Bilbo said, though Kili did not pause.  
“Kee,” he repeated.  
“ _Kili_!”

The last one had gotten Kili’s attention. Bilbo cupped his face with wet hands and pressed his lips to his softly.

“This is not necessary, dear heart. You’ve explained yourself to me and I understand. You don’t need to prove anything to me.”  
“Prove anything…” replied Kee, momentarily confused. “No! This isn’t about proving anything.”  
“Forgive me, but it is difficult to think you’ve gone from days as a lump—a very beautiful lump, mind, but a lump nonetheless—to a handsy little rascal without the conversation we had being some part of it.”  
“I know how it must seem, but believe me, it isn’t that way. Getting clean, the warm water, the feel of your hands on my body and massaging through my hair—those are the things that are invigorating me, not guilt or duty.” He took Bilbo’s hand and placed it on his erection. “I can’t stiffen up like this with mere guilt, you know.”  
“So, it is not taking advantage of your delicate state to enjoy you?”  
“Not in the way you are thinking, though consider this my plea for you to take _thorough_ advantage of me.”

He pulled Bilbo into another fierce kiss and Bilbo did not try to fight this one. Though it had only been a few days, he was ravenous for these lusty kisses and caresses. 

In between kisses, Bilbo murmured, “When we get out, do you want to go back to sleep or back to _bed_?”  
“Bed, please,” Kili answered. 

*****

Having been flat on his stomach, Kili rolled his upper body to the side as best he could to see Bilbo on him, next to him, _inside_ him. Kili exhaled a noise of desperation, grasping to tug at Bilbo’s neck and urge him down. Bilbo shifted a bit, rolling them halfway to on their sides, and he slipped his tongue between Kili’s parted lips. Kili’s fingers threaded in his hair, his next noise being one of satisfaction because that had been exactly what he had been trying to achieve.

They had started slowly, Bilbo’s lingering doubts about Kili’s newfound energy setting his initial pace. Kili pushed them, little by little, until Bilbo ceased attempting to curb the encounter. Kili seemed to know what he wanted, and after Bilbo had been sure it was genuine, he was only too ready to give it to him. 

He hissed in Kili's ear, “You like it wild sometimes, don’t you? Being owned. Taken. Fucked.”

Kili whimpered in affirmation. 

Bilbo held him by the waist and pounded into him hard, rolling them both full on their sides in the process. Kili spread his legs wider—his one leg jutting high up in the air might have been comical if it hadn’t felt so _good_ \--and keened in enthusiastic response. Bilbo slowed for a minute, taking long, deep, rippling thrusts as he kissed Kili’s shoulder and stroked his skin. In a swift movement, he rolled them both back over on Kili’s stomach and tugged so they were both up on their knees. He picked up his pace, fucking into him rapidly with that particular hobbit speed that was difficult to match. Bilbo groaned, moaning explicit descriptions of his fithy view, while Kili cried out a series of broken, frantic sounds beneath him, growing hotter and hotter around Bilbo’s cock. With a choked noise, Kili’s muscle snapped around Bilbo’s hardness as his climax shook him. Bilbo saw both of Kili’s hands scrabbling against the pillows, smirking because that only could have meant one thing. It fueled him, driving him to a finish close behind. 

They fell back to their sides as a unit, spooned up together, Bilbo still within him. Kili shifted his shoulders to try and catch Bilbo’s eye; Bilbo nudged up on one elbow while smoothing the hair out of Kili’s face with the other. Kili was gorgeous like this: vulnerable, soft, and happy in a way he hadn’t been in days. The emotion welled in Bilbo’s throat. 

Kili’s hand reached up to toy with Bilbo’s. 

“I love it when you talk naughty to me,” he sighed. 

Bilbo kissed his hair. “That reminds me, and I have been meaning to ask you: what is it that Bofur whispers to you sometimes that makes you blush so?”

Kili dropped his hand and nervously chewed on his thumbnail. He didn’t want to admit it. However, he never could bring himself to lie to Bilbo. Closing his eyes, he could already feel the heat of embarrassment in his cheeks and he turned his head towards the pillow. 

“He—he talks about me sucking Thorin’s cock.”  
“ _Thorin’s_ cock?” repeated Bilbo. “That seems…unlikely.”  
“The day we fooled around in the parlor, Bofur coaxed the confession from me that I, um, I think about it. Sometimes.”

Though Bilbo couldn’t see much of it, Kili still covered his face with his hands. 

He continued, “I know it seems unlikely coming from me, and I don’t know what to say for myself. I’m not going to do it, I just like thinking about it.”  
“That must have been some coaxing and believe me, I want you to show me some time, but I didn’t mean it was unlikely from _you_. It is the Bofur talking about Thorin part that seems unlikely, given he can barely withstand the mention of Thorin's name most of the time.”

Never having grown soft enough to slip out of Kili’s arse, Bilbo’s cock gradually began to thicken again. He shifted to pull Kili’s hand away from his eyes. 

“You’ve had your reasons, I know, and I might have been at fault for some of them in the beginning, but let me state now that you do not have to abstain from that for my sake, nor do you need to give me assurances that you have no plans thereof. I want you to feel good and I want Thorin to feel good—and there is no question you are _very,_ very good at mouthplay. In fact, it seems almost a shame you might never know the thrill of giving him a go.”

Gripping Kili’s hip, Bilbo pushed in, undulating without retreating, relishing the tightness.

“Thorin can be so submissive when he has a mouth on him. Being in control of him like that, being the one pleasing him, feeling the weight and silky texture of him on your tongue, being the one he trusts completely to fulfill his pleasure to the fullest—it is a heady sensation.”

Kili squirmed, gasping, “You’re hard again.”

Bilbo adjusted them so that Kili was on his stomach again, Bilbo’s torso stretched out along his back, his knees bent for traction. He began to move inside him.

“But other times…” he said. 

This was new for them, Kili thought. Kili had occasionally turned Bilbo on by talking about the hobbit’s past with Thorin (or their filthy future). Other times, he had taunted Bilbo into telling him such tales himself. However, this discussion about how good a lover _Kili_ would be for _Thorin_ (or vice versa) was mostly uncharted territory. The intensity grew as Bilbo voice next to his ear wickedly described how Thorin sometimes seeks his pleasure aggressively, taking what he wants from between his lover’s lips. Kili gasped in obscene surprise when Bilbo pushed his fingers into Kili’s mouth to illustrate his point. Bilbo grew more frenzied, holding him at the mouth with one hand as he fucked him ruthlessly, all the while describing in detail how Thorin might take control while Kili was sucking him. Kili wedged a hand between his legs and the bed, pulling frantically at himself in spite of the weight, lost in the sensations and Bilbo’s explicit description. He climaxed when Bilbo described the fantasy Thorin spurting his come down Kili's throat. 

Kili went slack underneath Bilbo, spent. Bilbo had gotten himself worked up mightily and did not wish to stop. 

“Kee, can I finish?” he rasped.  
Kili moaned in affirmation.

Bilbo stroked fast, selfishly using his pliant lover for his own pleasure. He shuddered at its peak, pulsing into Kili for the second time. At its end, he withdrew before collapsing next to him on the bed. 

“Bee, that was…I don’t even know. My stones ache and I don’t want to move.”  
“We were overdue and pent up a bit, I think. I’m good now, though. Think I might join you for that nap.”  
“All that, all that stuff you said,” Kili stopped, not quite sure how to put words to his thought.  
“It was a bit of fun, yeah? Some titillation to stir the blood for our second go-round. A little bit of permission, too. You should do what you want, or don’t do what you don’t want, as it were, but don’t fret over past promises to me if you want to get a little taste. I’m too far gone on this arrangement to be fussed if you want to suck more cock.”  
“I, erm...don't tell Fee yet, okay? Bo has been keeping it secret for me. It is only a fantasy, but I don’t want it to be a big thing and I am worried it will be if Fee finds out.”  
“I was going to ask you if he knew. I promise he won’t hear it from me.”  
Kili sighed in relief. “I still don’t feel like getting up.”  
“Me either. Why don’t you roll over here off that spot. We’ll wash up again after we’ve caught a little rest.”

As he drifted off to sleep, Kili realized his heart hadn’t felt this light since Fili had left. His husband was truly a wonder. 

*****

Bofur surreptitiously observed Fili the further away they got from the Shire. Past the initial tears, he seemed to be doing well enough with the separation. Once in Ered Luin, though, Fili despaired.

Fili tossed his packs on the floor of their rented room and heaved a sigh.

“Being here without Kee is strange,” he said glumly. "It is strange and disquieting."  
“Are you feeling the dread, like you did when you were young?”  
Fili thought for a moment. “No, not quite like that, but I’m feeling like a part of me is…I don’t know…sleeping I guess. It is weird and I don’t like it.”  
“We will do what we came to do, then, and we won’t linger too long. Perhaps this wasn’t one of my better plans,” Bofur said, nervously rubbing the back of his neck.  
“Bo, I love you and I love that you're with me. It was—and is--a great idea. If I had thought otherwise, I would not have agreed as strongly as I did to come. Do not feel guilty about this. I thought Kee and I were past our separation affecting us strongly, and maybe it might be easier across shorter time and distance. If anyone should feel bad, it is me. We came here to clear our heads and help Thorin, yet I’m ashamed to say I’m already looking forward to returning home.”  
“I know. This time, Bilbo will be looking over Kee if he starts to falter, just as I’m looking over you. We’ll do what we planned and need to, then we’ll make haste to close the distance again.”  
“Bo, I know something that might help.”  
Softly smiling, Bofur said, “Then share it with me.”  
“Take me to bed and shake my mind loose.”  
The smile faded to concern. “Are you sure you want it like that, as fragile as your heart is at the moment?”  
“I don’t think I could handle it any other way right now.”

*****

Two fingers deep in Fili, Bofur whispered fierce and filthy devotions in his ear. He growled Fili’s name, slicking himself hurriedly so as to not waste a moment.

“Give,” Fili whispered.

Bofur yanked Fili to the side of the bed, setting his own feet on the floor. As he had hoped, it was the perfect height to (delightfully) line up to fit inside his lover.

“Give what?”  
“Give me,” answered Fili, his voice filled with desperate want. “Give _you_.”

The stretch gave way to fullness—that glorious fullness!—and Fili’s heart pounded.

Bofur possessed him so thoroughly, so relentlessly, that for one fevered moment of lucidity, Fili feared for the lone picture frame hanging on the wall. It was everything he asked for—everything he needed—from beginning to glorious, explosive end. 

Fili came back to himself slowly, basking in the moment and feeling especially sentimental as his breathing returned to normal.

He said, “This is the third time we’ve journeyed back to what we had called home in those days before we were so much as friends, and each of those times we’ve been _together_. It touches me in a strange way, smelling the familiar and homey old air but having your skin under my hands. Bo, I love you. Thank you.”  
Bo gazed at him as though he was the greatest of treasures. “I’m in constant awe of how things you say settle and lock into all these secret places inside me, places I didn’t even know were marked with your name. I should be thanking you.”  


*****

Fili had been renewed by their fierce intimacy. Bolstered by that (and a good meal at his favorite pub), he put himself back on task.

“For Thorin and Kee,” he had told himself. 

Bofur sang his heart out at the gathering spots. In addition to _Ballad Of The Fourteen_ , _The Hobbit Hero_ , and _The Noble Princes_ , he had composed other lyrical lures on the way for the express purpose of enticing citizens back to Erebor. Fili fielded the follow up questions (of which there were many), pleased that so many folks there were interested in possibly resettling.

Fili made a special visit to Deig at his tattoo and piercing parlor, too. Though he had assured him before they had left the last time that all was forgiven over the incident with Bilbo’s tattoo, he wanted to go one step further and specifically reassure him he would be welcome to move to Erebor when the weather reliably warmed. 

Deig had been thrilled to receive Prince Fili’s encouragement—he had originally planned to move East before he had cocked everything up over refusing Bilbo service—and he had also been a little sheepish. Fili told him that having been Fili’s and Kili’s piercer might have been enough in one respect, but Deig having Bilbo’s approval of his work meant he was bestowed permission to truthfully put the royal endorsement of his full services on his shingle. Who would have thought? The very thing Deig had dreamed and hoped of happening from his association with Kili and Fili wound up being possible because of the hobbit. 

Fili felt a little disrespectful excluding Bofur as one of the royals Deig had tattooed. He knew in his heart that Bofur was a Prince of Erebor, too, but he had to remind himself that Deig didn’t know--just like most others didn’t know--so he had to persuade with Bilbo alone. Still, he thought the lesson it had taught Deig about underestimating those different than him would be a positive thing for the dwarf to take into a wider world. 

*****

Kili did not mystically recover from his doldrums after two good orgasms--and Bilbo hadn’t honestly expected him to. Bilbo fed him and allowed him to sleep as much as he wished, occasionally offering Kili kisses…and more if he responded passionately to the kisses.

Kili was in better spirits at the end of their next session, relaxed and talkative. Having tried his best not to push him or complain any further about the silence, Bilbo thoroughly enjoyed their moments of ease. 

“Are you excited to leave again?” asked Kili, spent and blissful.  
“Thrilled…and terrified. There are so many things I dread about travel: it is exhausting, the food is scarcer and less satisfying, there are dozens of dangers of which to be wary, and our sex lives diminish considerably.”  
Kili laughed. “Too true.”  
“But it is the only way to see Rivendell again, to visit Beorn and that beautiful land we love, and most of all, traveling will bring us back to Thorin.”  
Bilbo noticed Kili’s face soften into an almost bashful smile. “What?”  
Kili rolled his lips inward, still smiling, before answering, “You said ‘us.’”  
“Yes?” Bilbo replied, puzzled.  
“You didn’t say ‘will bring me back to Thorin.’ You said ‘us.’”

Bilbo took Kili’s hand and kissed his knuckles tenderly. 

“I’m not the only one missing him, after all.”

They shared a few quiet breaths of tenderness before Kili spoke again, cupping Bilbo’s cheek.

“Be not afraid of danger, my jewel. This is a different trip to Erebor than the last in many ways.”  
“You know what Gandalf says, though. ‘The wild-‘”  
“’-is still the wild,’ yes. I know that particular nugget of his wisdom is foremost in your mind when any of us travel. I’m not saying we shouldn’t keep alert, but perhaps a little less terror is called for this time around, hmm?”  
“Okay. You’re right.”  
“Put that excess energy towards the creative ways we’ll have to find to have some quality sex on the long trip there, instead.”

Now it was Bilbo’s turn to giggle. 

“Bee, I know I’ve not been myself without Fee around, with this whole thing that has always been between us, all the way down to the blood. My mind hasn’t been blank the whole time, though. I’ve spent some of that time thinking, going deeper within myself than usual. There’s something I need to say to you before we go, something I’ve been thinking for a while but haven’t been able to put into words until now.”

Bilbo’s stomach dropped down to his furry feet. 

Swallowing nervously, he said, “It is okay, Kee. You can tell me and we’ll figure it out together.”  
“I don’t want to stay in Erebor. Past the summer, I mean, beyond our plan.”

Relief flooded Bilbo so forcefully he came close to swooning. 

“You don’t want to stay in Erebor,” Bilbo exhaled, thankful Kili’s confession was merely that. 

Missing Bilbo’s alleviation due to his own nervousness, Kili nodded and continued.

“Back before you had even asked me to marry you, I had suspected the Shire would feel like the home I never knew I could have. Being here, living and breathing this life from your stories…well, it is that home. I want you to know I didn’t lie when I promised I’d follow you anywhere and live anywhere you wanted. That is still true. Home is where you and Fee are and if remaining in Erebor so we can help Thorin is truly to be your wish, I’ll acquiesce. However, I’m not done here, not by a long road. I wanted to tell you that.”

Kili looked up from fidgeting with his hands to gaze at Bilbo with soulful, earnest eyes, hoping his words would be received and understood. 

“You’re smiling,” he said, knitting his brows in confusion. “Why are you smiling?”  
“Because you love it here. Because you trusted me even though you were worried how I’d take it. Because you mean and have meant everything you’ve ever promised me. I’m not sure what will happen in Erebor, but I can assure you it is also my hope we’ll be back here in time to see the colors this fall. I’m not done here, either, and I’m certainly not done here with you, dear heart.”

Kili grinned brightly. “I feel so much better, you don’t even know! Thank you.”  
“Thank _you_." Bilbo glanced around. "So, what do you think? Should we finish getting ready for bed?”  
“Is it weird that I’m suddenly starving?”  
“You’re _asking_ for food?” Bilbo asked, astonished.  
Kili scrunched up his face. “It _is_ weird, isn’t it?”

Bilbo had to stifle a joyous laugh, lest Kili take it wrong. Kili hadn’t asked for food in days—it had all been Bilbo feeding him.

“No, it’s not weird, Kee. Come on, let’s go dig around in the pantry. I’ll make you anything you like,” Bilbo said. 

He smiled lovingly at Kili, who was already belting his dressing gown. 

“Anything at all.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not long now! Oh my goodness!
> 
> Thank you everyone!


	65. Preparations Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter vacation is coming to a close. Our Shire contingent is preparing for their journey.
> 
> As usual, **** denotes switches between pairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you skim or skip non-Thorin chapters, please read the notes at the end of this for a very important poll.

The reason for Kili’s returning appetite and rising spirits came barreling through the door about two days later.

Fili and Kili met somewhere in the middle between the parlor and the entry, hugging tightly. Fili leaned back, his hands on either side of Kii’s head, rapidly scanning him with frantic blue eyes.

“Kee, are you well? Have you been eating? Have you had enough to drink?”  
“Bee took care of me, though if it had been up to me, it might have been a bit less frequent.”  
Fili sized him up. “Or not at all.”  
“I must have sensed you were getting close, though. I’ve been feeling better the past couple days. What about you? Did it affect you, too?”  
“Oh, Kee, you know it did. I felt worse the further away we got and better the nearer we got to home. I’m so happy to see some color in your face, though. I was afraid you wouldn’t be well when I returned.”

He clasped his hand behind Kili’s neck and nudged their foreheads together. 

“I don’t like being apart and do not plan for much more of it, but please know that I need my brother to return to. None of the foolishness of our youths, okay?”  
“I wouldn’t have let it get _that_ bad, Fee. I promise.”

****

Bofur clung to Bilbo, lifting his feet off the ground. 

“Aren’t you a sight for a weary traveler?” Bofur murmured against his temple.  
“You’ve not let yourself even look yet!”  
“I still know it is the truth. However, since you insist, allow me to look my fill.”  
Bofur set Bilbo back down, still keeping his hands on him. “Oi, what’s this? You’ve cut your hair short while we’ve been gone!”

Bilbo nervously reached up to touch the faintest hint of a curl.

“I had it nipped shorter this time on purpose.” Bilbo smiled shyly. “It is a few weeks between here and Erebor and I wanted it as close to the proper length as possible when we saw Thorin again.”  
Bofur gazed at him lovingly. “I think it looks mighty fine, Bee.”

Bilbo hugged him again, relieved Thorin’s name didn’t dampen the joy on Bofur’s face this time. 

“Romantic hobbit,” Bofur said. 

*****

Fili moved to embrace Bilbo next, pressing his face against Bilbo’s while they squeezed. 

“Ow!” cried Fili, jerking his head back.  
“Fee?”

Bilbo inspected Fili. 

“You haven’t been wounded, have-“

Bilbo’s words halted in his throat as his notice set on a shiny hoop looped through the top of Fili’s pointed ear—a mate to his own. His eyes met Fili’s in question.

Smiling tenderly, Fili said, “I pierced my ear while we were gone. For you.”  
“Oh, Fee…”  
“I had forgotten it was still quite fresh when I went to hug you. I’ve been dying to ask you--how did you ever get to sleep with yours in? I must wake myself up six times a night rolling on it.”

Bilbo’s eyes--already misty from their reunion--had grown considerably wetter despite his amusement of Fili’s struggle, one he knew all too well. 

“It was worth it, Fee.”  
Fili wiped a falling tear from Bilbo’s face and kissed his nose. “I think mine will be, too.”

****

Fili began, “Though I would love to reunite properly-”  
“-And decidedly _improperly_ ,” chimed in Bofur.  
Fili rolled his eyes affectionately. “-I’m afraid a bath is priority number one.”

Bilbo looked them over, pronouncing, “And a solid meal would be priority number two." 

Fili opened his mouth to fuss, because he had much rathered go to bed next.

“Nope, no arguments. Kee and I would rather have you fed and energetic that starving and woozy. You’re both a bit peaky now and that’s a fact.”  
Sighing, Bofur said, “I can’t really argue with that. I haven’t eaten in hours.”

*****

Bilbo and Kili had put something together quickly while the others were bathing.

“I would have liked it to be more hearty, to be true, but hearty takes time,” said Bilbo apologetically.  
“No, this is wonderful!” Bofur said. He stuffed another bite in his mouth before leering, “We are better served by expediency at the moment.”

Though Bilbo’s tone was intentionally short, his face glowed with amusement. 

“Less flirting, more eating, if you please.”  
Bofur winked at him. “For the time being.” 

****

Bofur woke up, eyes irritated by the sun and bum aching from the night of delights that had served as their reunion. Everyone but Kili had had their fingers in him at some point, and he and Kili made up for that oversight in other delightful ways. There weren’t going to be many more nights of debauchery before they left…and he already knew the few opportunities on the road.

There was also the matter of being too open in front of their traveling companions--doubly so after they picked up the contingent from Rivendell, who were not as used to being around them as much. Sneaking off in their original couples might carry the possibility of leaving a few cheeks red, but it was likely no one would blame them or would put up a fuss. Sneaking off for a quick thrill mixed out of their couples--or all four together—would put their business around as sure as if they had announced it. 

Nothing for it, he knew. For all the joy their new arrangement had brought them, it was going to make this trip to Erebor far more difficult than the last trip home. 

*****

Fili had nearly forgotten to give Bilbo and Kili the gifts he and Bofur had made for them, having been more interested in food and sex the night before.

The four of them did not want for much, and Fili and Bofur had both lamented the opportunity to give Bilbo and Kili gifts beyond hobbit tokens and song. Therefore, Fili and Bofur had taken advantage of the use of dwarven facilities in the Blue Mountains to make Bilbo a proper bracelet (since he could not wear the ones from Erebor anywhere but his ankle) and Kili a fine cloak pin. 

Bilbo had been so thrilled he had allowed Fili the honor of grooming his legs for him, though Fili shook his head affectionately that Bilbo thought somehow the honor was _his_. 

As Fili combed, he asked Bilbo about Kili’s demeanor the past several days. 

Bilbo hummed sadly, replying, “He was quiet, melancholy, and wanted to sleep almost the whole time.”  
“He ate, though,” Fili confirmed.  
“Mostly because I made him. He was lonely without you.”  
Solemnly, Fili said, “It was more than just loneliness, Bee.”  
“You’re right. He was outright bereft.”  
“No, I mean, this connection between us, it has caused trouble in the past. Has Kili told you about what happened when we were young?”  
“Which part?”

Fili recounted for Bilbo the painful tale of his first hunting trip and how the separation had nearly cost Kili his life. Bilbo’s hand came to his mouth in shock when Fili recounted how the messenger had to come retrieve him to save Kili’s life. 

“He never told me about that!” gasped Bilbo when Fili was done.  
“Barely remembers it himself, he has said. He knows the story mostly because I told him. We don’t talk about it much, for obvious reasons, and since he only really remembers it second-hand, it might not have occurred to him to tell you. However, I was just old enough that I can remember it too clearly.”  
“I wish someone would have warned me before you left,” Bilbo said darkly.  
“It got better when we were older,” Fili said. “We’ve not stayed sewn at the hip that whole time, you know. However, we’ve never tested it with this much time or distance either one. There is a reason we always follow each other aside from love and duty. There was an afternoon in Lake Town--right around the time he had confessed his love for you and you had still been trying to fight your feelings in the name of Thorin’s honor—that he started talking peculiar and I thought he might run off. I stole his personal effects and hid them, knowing he wouldn’t leave without them. Regardless of whatever fool noble ideas he has had in the past, there was no way I would let him run off without me.”  
“And me asking you to come to the Shire? What if I hadn’t?”

Fili sighed. He had wondered about that himself, back before it had happened. 

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure you were going to even ask him until you did, and luckily I didn’t have to figure it out because you invited me practically in the same breath. It was hardly a trial, because aside from Kee, you know I had secretly wanted to come back here to live anyway. If you hadn’t invited me along, well, some sort of solution would have had to have happened…or perhaps that would have been the time to face (and fail) our first large test. I’ve said before that I belong with my brother and it is true. When Thorin was considering banishing him, I let Thorin know in no uncertain terms that if I was to ever become King, my first decree would be to rescind the banishment and put Kee on a throne beside me. I was worried one or both of us would die if we were forced to endure such a separation. I suspect strongly that Thorin spared us Kili's banishment for similar reasons.”  
Bilbo crossed his arms sternly. “Again, when was anyone planning on telling _me_? Kee could have died?”  
“To be fair, that had been my fear back then, but not necessarily the fact of it. We don’t know that, we didn’t know that, we still don’t know that because he now has you, not to mention he is no longer a wee lad dependent on our Mam. I don’t even understand it now.”  
“I still think you should have told me,” Bilbo fumed.  
“If you want to know the truth, I did not realize that Ered Luin for a handful of days would have been the test it wound up being. It didn’t occur to me until the emptiness hit _me_ on the road. Bo had assured me Kee had you, and it seems a good thing he did.”

Bilbo let out a long exhale. Though he was relieved there had been some manner of explanation for Kili’s deep, swirling melancholy besides simply missing his brother, the mysterious nature of that connection unnerved him. He had no idea Kili’s will to live was so intrinsically tied to Fili.

“Listen, Fee…you two aren’t hiding any more secrets like this, are you? Anything else buried in your past somewhere that might lead to illness, dehydration, or death?”  
Fili thought carefully. “No, this is it.”  
“If I find out otherwise, I’m going to be quite, quite cross.”

*****

With Fili and Bofur back in Bag End and the days freezing less now than they had since autumn, preparations were in full swing. Transport and a wagon had been arranged with the next worry being how to _fill_ that wagon…particularly with food. The rest of the winter stores would be going with them, some of them needing more preparing than others for the journey. Fili and Kili procured a bit more, and Fili and Bofur had been smart enough in Erebor to change out some of their larger valued coins for smaller for buying supplies at the rare stops on the way.

Bofur helped Rorimac plan for his trip, the latter having never traveled further than Buckland with the responsibility of his own pack. Ori had already traveled many times before and was a fine guide for Thodora and Chadham. 

*****

Bilbo thought about his anxiety over the logistics for eight of them to get to Erebor and had to pause to chuckle at himself. Thorin had once had _fourteen_ of them (plus an occasional wizard) to get to Erebor and barely any idea of how to make it happen...not to mention an orc pack on their backs and a dragon to contend with once they arrived. They had all trusted Thorin to lead them through and somehow Thorin--his majestic Thorin--did exactly that.

Here Bilbo was, worried in spite of days of planning and a wagon filled with supplies, yet long ago Bilbo had run out of his house with whatever he could toss together in ten minutes and carry on his back. Of course, how could he have taken time back then to worry about salted pork or handkerchiefs when every passing moment had been taking all those interesting people and that mysterious, beautiful (if moody), and captivating dwarf leader further and further out of his life? 

He sighed dreamily, thinking of what the Bilbo that used to lie awake and think of Thorin night after night might make of his life now. 

*****

In addition to making sure he had fresh, sharp arrows, Kili had a vitally important piece of business to square away before he left the Shire for the spring: Beorn’s acorns. Having been wintered properly and with them looking just the way Beorn said they would, it had occurred to Kili he wouldn’t be home during what Beorn had suggested the most proper time to plant. Meeting with Hamfast and Holman, he showed them the area he and Bilbo had selected for the oak grove and carefully explained the next steps for planting, per Beorn.

Kili still held (and always would hold) the original from Beorn's in his bag, the acorn he had picked up with hope in his heart long ago. He would have to say things had turned out more magnificently than he ever could have guessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION:
> 
> Part of me has been considering starting a new part for this (Part 5) to cover the entirety of the visit to Erebor. It will no longer be their winter vacation, after all, plus it might be cleaner for this Part not to rise into the hundreds for chapter count. HOWEVER, I'm not sure who all would follow to another segment of this work. I would hate to reduce readership just for a little bit of tidiness.
> 
> Show of hands--  
> Who is still here?  
> Who wants it to stay Part 4 and grow in chapter count?  
> Who wants a Part 5?  
> Who would follow to a Part 5?
> 
> Even if you mostly lurk, super fast answers (to the "who is still here" quesiton, if nothing else) would be appreciated.
> 
> After the next Chapter, the wagon rolls out to Erebor. 
> 
> If you're not subscribed to the series, now might be the time (just in case).
> 
> I appreciate and love you all. 
> 
> Man, what I have waiting for you in Erebor...


	66. Preparations Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter vacation is coming to a close. Our Shire contingent is preparing for their journey.

Bilbo went into the far storage area to fetch his mithril shirt from Belladonna’s glory box for the journey. It was still wrapped around the leather in which he had rolled up the ring. He set aside the shirt for taking along and looked for something else under which to place the ring.

The leather bundle felt strangely warm to his hand…comforting, almost, and rather inviting. A whisper formed at the back of his mind, not of recognizable words, but more an idea: his potential to be invisible while on a dangerous trek might save them all. As a picture of Kili out in the wild formed in his mind, a voice broke through his thoughts.

“Bee, where did you keep the key to this latch?” Fee called. “Kee won’t find it.”  
Kili’s voice--loud and indignant--followed it. “What do you mean ‘ _won’t_ find it?’ I’m looking, aren’t I? _Can’t_ find it!”  
“Please come help us before it gets ugly in here,” Bofur shouted, laughing at the end. “Oi! Quit it!”  
“Who are you calling ugly?” Fili said.  
Bofur squealed, “No one! I called no one ugly! Have mercy!”  
“No mercy for the merciless,” Kili added, a shade seductive.

Bofur's giggles were replaced with a moan and Bilbo could only imagine what had transpired…though he was quite eager to find out.

The whispers and the weird feeling evaporated as suddenly as they had arrived. Bilbo shoved the bundle under a book and some needlepoint, closed his mother’s glory box back up, barricaded it in storage like Gandalf had taught him, snicked the lock shut on the door, and hurried down the hall laughing as he called out. 

“Let me in on this nonsense and I’ll share the key!” 

*****

The following day, Bilbo came in from outside, cheeks pink with either chill or exertion, carrying a vessel. Kili noted Bilbo’s hands were unusually dirty, too.

“What in Durin's name were you doing?” he asked, amusedly eyeing Bilbo over.  
In one long, cheerful exhale, Bilbo replied, “Oh, I was out in the peach grove."  
“You say it so casually, as though you do it on regular Wednesdays. What is that you’re carrying? Looks like dirt.”  
Putting the container on the table so he could remove his cloak, Bilbo said, “Probably because it _is_ dirt.”  
“Again, you say it so matter-of-factly! So tell me, what were you doing in the peach grove carrying around dirt? Did you take up a new hobby?”  
“No,” Bilbo snickered. “Not a hobby, my handsome smart-arse. I dug up some dirt from the peach grove to bring Thorin.”  
“Seems like an odd present. Why are you bringing him dirt? Pretty sure there’s a lot of it surrounding the mountain,” Kili noted, smirking.  
“I wanted him to have something of the Shire with him in the mountain. I thought the peach grove significant since that was where I had found him hiding this past autumn.”  
The smirk faded rapidly to wonder. “Wait, you’re bringing Thorin a little bit of home to keep with him?”  
Bilbo shrugged. “More or less.”

Kili quickly pulled him into a tight embrace. Bilbo held his hands out so he wouldn’t touch Kili’s clothes.

“Kee, I haven’t washed yet.”  
“I don’t care,” Kili mumbled into his hair. "Hug me back.”

Bilbo did not need to be asked twice. When he leaned back to look at Bilbo again, Kili's eyes were damp and he was smiling softly. 

He asked, “If you and I were separated, do you s'pose you'd make these sweeping romantic gestures for me, too?”  
“You know I would, but I beg of you not to speak like that. Being away from Thorin is difficult enough. So," Bilbo continued shyly, "You...you think he’ll like it, then?”  
Kili nodded. “I hope you’re prepared for another weepy dwarf in your arms.” 

*****

Serving out afternoon tea, it had occurred to Bofur that not a single one of them had bothered insisting on couples’ nights since the end of their sexual break. With the lack of privacy for play weighing heavier on his mind with each passing day, Bofur wondered if perhaps he had been assuming too much thinking the others felt as he did about making the most of these opportunities with the four of them. With this their last night in Bag End for a long while—though he did not want the separation himself—he felt compelled to ask.

“Did you want to make tonight a couples’ night?” Bofur asked. “Seeing as it is the last night with a proper bed for a bit, I mean?”  
“Wait, what?” Fili asked, agog. 

Kili stayed silent, his gaze darting between the other three as anxiety quickened his pulse.

“Oh, erm, right. I suppose, um…if you do?” Bilbo replied, wincing inwardly at how unsure he sounded. 

Bofur realized instantly he had made a mistake in judgement. Though he was immensely grateful it _had_ been a mistake, he now was faced with the burden of quickly undoing it before any damage occurred.

“I’m not saying I do. I’m just asking if you do? If they do? Blast, I don’t know. We’ve just…we’ve not…and I didn’t know if any of you wanted…with the journey and all,” he stuttered, not doing a very good job of explaining himself.  
With the shock leaving him, Fili found his voice. “Personally, with the trip, I want as much as I can get of all of you before we strike out on the road and have to pretend we're not used to the four of us bedding down naked in the same bed every night.”  
“That’s a relief,” Kili exhaled, “because that’s how I feel, too.”  
Bilbo said, “Me too.”  
“Me too,” echoed Bofur.  
Fili turned to him, his eyes intentionally wide with frustration. “Then _why did you ask_?”

Bilbo laughed in spite of himself and the others couldn’t help but follow. 

Joking at his own expense, Bofur said, “Well, that was awkward, wasn’t it?”  
“To say the least, but it was well-intentioned,” Bilbo assured him, reaching out to touch his hand.  
Fili grinned widely. “So it is settled then. Our last night in a warm bed for a little while is going to be our usual four times as warm.”  
“Is it too early to start now?” flirted Kili 

Fili flicked a piece of pound cake at him, which bounced off Kili’s nose. Kili glanced around for something to fling back, snatching up a bigger piece of cake and readying to throw it.

“Hup-up,” Bilbo interjected, holding up his index finger while grasping a jam knife. “What have I told you about food fights?”  
Kili closed his eyes, reciting woodenly from memory. “That if we want to throw food, we can wait until we are in Erebor and throw it there.”  
“Right, so that cake had best be on its way to your mouth,” Bilbo warned.

Fili grinned at the trouble he had gotten Kili into. Bilbo sternly pointed his jam knife at him. 

“And don’t think I didn’t see you start it, mister.”

However, before going back to spreading his jam, Bilbo shot Fili a wink and gave Kili a smile. 

*****

Bilbo and Kili made their final preparations the morning of their departure, doing one last sweep through the bedroom before they left it empty for months.

Bilbo noticed Kili taking his bag off the wall and slipping it over his head. Something about seeing Kili doing it again--like he had done many times before they were wed—gave Bilbo a whole field’s worth of butterflies in his middles. 

“Why are you taking your bag?” he asked.  
Replied Kili, “I’m hardly going to go off and leave something so important in Bag End for the summer, now am I?” 

Bilbo took Kili in his arms and kissed him soundly. In the middle of it, Bilbo pondered his magic ring and how it might also be too important to leave it put and not fuss about with it as Gandalf had said. A thin ghost of the other day's odd thought about the usefulness of invisibility floated between his ears. 

*****

As they loaded out of the smial and into the wagon, they were joined by more and more of their neighbors, neighbors’ neighbors, and neighbors’ neighbors’ neighbors. Bilbo was shocked how many people had come to see them off. It was not merely for Rorimac, or for Thodora and Chadham, or even for himself, either. Many had well wishes and gifts of traveling food for Kili, Bofur, Fili, and Ori, too.

Bilbo momentarily developed a lump in his throat, thinking about how sad it was to pull the dwarrows away from their new home and their new friends for so many months. He shook himself out of it before the mood could take root, telling himself they were leaving to see the family and friends they had been missing all winter, to attend Dís's wedding, and—most importantly—they were going to reunite with Thorin. He told himself it was going to be okay.

Isumbras spoke a few words in parting (astonishingly brief, Bilbo had thought) and presented them with some official letters to carry to Erebor, having taken Bilbo’s ambassadorship almost more seriously than Bilbo himself. 

Holman assured Bilbo one last time that his house would be and remain sealed up tighter than a drum and that he and Hamfast would keep the garden well so they could enjoy it upon their return. 

With everyone’s belongings either in the wagon or packed on the ponies (Bag End had been the last stop to load in), the eight of them said their final farewells and headed out on the first leg of their long journey. Bilbo looked back at his home as it slowly disappeared from his sight and hoped it would not be the last time he set eyes on it. 

Unbeknownst to Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Bofur were also gazing upon Bag End lovingly...and fervently hoping the same themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus ends Part 4 (which is really Part 3, since the Deleted Scenes is more of a DVD extra). 
> 
> Please stay tuned for Part 5--title forthcoming--which will include the trip to Erebor as well as the reunion with Thorin, Dís, and the rest of The Fourteen (after we dip into Rivendell to pick up the others, of course). 
> 
> If you don't want to miss anything, please subscribe to the series. 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, support, love, recs, and time you've spent reading. I love you very much. 
> 
> I'll see you on the other side of the hill.


End file.
